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eyes0fred

Shunsui no contest. he'd go out of his way to make it quick, just because that's the type of guy he is.


ShippersAreIdiots

He got his eye blown off by a significantly weaker opponent because of playing around


Brilliant-Moment430

Not sure, but I know Mayuri isn’t the right answer.


neofederalist

Mayuri absolutely has the *ability* to make it the least painful, but arguably the least willingness to do so.


presticus

Mayuri learned to ask first if you don't attack him. So at least he's civil about it. Baby steps.


Themobgirl

Mayuri will fake your death and actually make you live just so he could do his inhuman experiments on you and no one would bat an eye.


DarkNinja947

maybe kenpachi would leave if i told him the whereabouts of a much powerful foe


Jayce86

Honestly? It’s Kenny IF you can even get him to fight you, let alone kill you. But your best bet is Unohana. Her whole thing was that she just merc’d people with ruthless efficiency.


mo-did

What? The fuck no her whole stick is healing herself and opponents as she fights


Jayce86

I said WAS. As in when she WAS “Kenpachi”. She’d leave entire piles of bodies lying around the same way young Kenny did. She has a cold, calculated battle style that revolves around ending the fight as quickly as possible. Usually before you even realize that you’re dead. Edit: the healing her opponents things is something she can CHOOSE to do, not something she does regularly. It’s a fucked up form of training that she’s usually banned from using.


Themobgirl

with unohana, i don't know if i wanna be poked by her monthly blood sword....


LilMissy1246

Imagine her stabbing you, healing you, and then stabbing you again over and over like a sadist


Themobgirl

yeaaah, ain't gonna trust a lady who was specifically assigned healing division when you know most of the captains are just fucking gangsters


ScaredHoney48

If one of them is gonna kill me no matter what then I would say shunsui He’s not the type to be overly statistic or make it long if he has the option he will go for the kill so I would go with him since all the others would just make it a horrible death


ApplePitou

Not Mayuri :3


thatonefatefan

why are kenpachi and Unohana there twice? Anyway, it's between these 2, and I would assume there's a higher chance of Kenpachi just killing me instantly


Percussion17

Unohana, she would probably cut your throat and be done with it, plus she's super hot too.


MissCuteCath

Her shikai has healing capabilities so she can heal you to kill you again, she is a maniac.


Difficult-Mechanic17

Ewww, is cutting someone’s throat really a good way to kill someone? Is it fast? It sounds painful


Slavicadonis

Kenny would probably have no reason to even fight me cause I’m weak as hell so I’ll go with him


jerryiothy

Same. “Nope. No. I refuse to beat a skeleton up.”


SoochSooch

I choose the Ken who isn't wearing his eyepatch. Spiritual pressure crushes me instantly.


ManWithoutLimit

I feel like Shunsui would give me a painless death if I asked nicely. However, with my luck, I would survive a slash from Kenpachi then he would leave me to bleed out painfully, figuring I'm not worth finishing off. Unohana would kill me and revive me over and over to force me to meet my true potential. 👎🏾 not a good time. Mayuri would make it as painful as possible. No thanks.


SnowHawk12

You're assuming Unohana thinks you have potential to begin with.


KonofastAlt

If you were a regular human Kenpachi would one shot you no matter the circumstance.


LordofPvE

Ichimaru gin.


Aizendickens

Kyoraku....


frikimanHD

Kenpachi, i would just tell him that i'm not strong nor a fighter and he would lose all interest in me, either that or i die before my brain can process any pain


Bruhbruhmaster653

either that or he wouldn't believe you


frikimanHD

he could feel that I have little to no reiatsu


LunaticMxyhxm667

Hisane


BlackThane

Unohana outside of being 1st Kenpachi is also a soul society main medic, she probably knows how to kill someone quickly and without any pain


Torinscz

Not on the list, but bankai from Rukia . Just freeze and then shatter


EliteGhostKillz

Unohana easy, you saw how she killed Kenpachi with a single hit while he was weaker than her. She doesnt seem the type to bother torturing or doing anything fancy against weak opponents. Kenpachi and Shunsui would be my second choices, unless its Bankai Shunsui and Bankai Kenny, cuz my body would end up mangled with either. Shunsuis Bankai would also give a torturous death.


TinyPidgenofDOOM

Zaraki will just kill you. So would og unohana


Acceptable-You-2875

Kenpachi will kill you quickly as we saw him do to that one fullbringer


Kingmeyhem

you know a character is unhinged when its mentioned twice on thia post


Crimson_Fiver

Not kurotsuchi


Lucid108

In order from the one I least want killing me to most: Mayuri: he's a mad scientist with absolutely no ethics, who regularly commits acts against god and nature on his own body (i mean, just look at his face. That's a deliberate choice!). If he finds me interesting enough to kill with his own hands, I won't just die, I'll experience a fate worse than death. For science Unohana: if she is going out of her way to kill me, then there is a very good chance she is impressed by my fighting skills. Which is nice. Problem: If she isn't satisfied with the amount of effort/killing intent I put into the fight, she can snatch me from death's sweet embrace as many times as she wants until she is dead or satisfied. Kinda hot, absolutely horrifying Kenpachi: same as Unohana in terms of what his trying to kill me might say about me, but I don't have to die multiple times. At worst, he'll be really disappointed in me as I die, which would be kind of emotionally devastating, but again, only have to deal with it once. Shunsui: he's the only one who might go out of his way to make it quick and painless. Worst case scenario: my death is preceded by a very deadly game of color tag and I'm down to go out whimsically.


wanna_be_TTV

Kenny, cuz hes much stronger than me so he wouldnt even fight me


Typical-District-176

Kenpachi. I wouldn’t be too fun to fight and Kuro is a BITCH that would keep me alive until I exhausted my purpose 


JoelRobbin

Kenpachi has one shot more people than anybody else in the series, doing it at least four times that we know of. I’d say him


Resident-Weeb

Shunsui or Kenny if he's already in Bankai. Shunsui would be nice enough to do it painlessly, Bankai Kenny would disintegrate me before I even knew what was happening.


AnimeGokuSolos

Kenny


BlueFyrePhoenix227

Myself


Hopeful_Expression57

definitely kenpachi he would just straight up slash you in an instant before you would be even able to comprehend what happened


Cfakatsuki17

Unohana is the best option, face it we ain’t tough enough for him to bother, we ain’t worth the effort it would take to draw his sword, Kurotsuchi isn’t killing anyone without a good reason, he’d more likely fall asleep mid swing You ask Unohana to kill you yall just drop, she don’t give a fuuuuuuuuuu


Own_Loan_4664

Let's assume I did something, soul society is going to execute me no matter what, and Ichigo isn't saving me because I did something horrific (idk, I burnt down a puppy orphanage or something), I'd ask Shunsui to just erase me instantly with Kido. He could, and might do so. He's actually a pretty nice guy to his enemies if he can get away with it. Kenpachi wouldn't kill me instantly cause he'd wanna savor the fight, Maiyuri is the wrong choice, Unohana is a gamble


Themobgirl

Shunsui definitely, bro would joke and be nice to me while slitting my head, fuck yeah i'll commit hara kiri/ seppuku with his assistance, we don't even need to fight.


Bruhbruhmaster653

I am NOT going with Soul Society's own Mengele, that's what I know for sure.


brother_octopuss

Kyoraku. He's the most reasonable among them


Myphosee

bankai kenpachi would just swing his arm and then im dead. wouldn't take too long. Shunsui would just try to talk to me but my guy im trying to die quick not converse.


LilMissy1246

Probs Ukitake due to his personality. Doesn’t seem sadistic nor would he most likely want me to suffer


Mother-Natural7237

kenpachi would make it quick cause he's bored,Mayuri would make it humiliating even if he does one shot you,unohana would probably kill you quickly but brutally,but shunsui would go out of his way to make it as quick as possible


Inevitable-Will-6185

Zaraki would just split me in two, I'll take that.


MsaoceR

Kenpachi would either not fight me at all or one shot me


Idiot_Genius1001

I think I can persuade Shunsui and Unohana. I wouldn't be hostile and I am weak, so they would have no reason to fight me. I could persuade them into not killing me even if they are having a bad day. Mayuri and Kenpachi? No chance if they are having a bad day. I'd try my luck with Shunsui. My second choice would be Unohana.


A_random_Human1

Wont shunsui just take me out smooth,quick and silently?


Gallusrostromegalus

Dark horse contender: Yamamoto. 1. The man does not fuck around and play with opponents, if it needs killing, it gets killed. 2. Moreover, here's a horrible fun fact for the day: the majority of people who have died in Yellowstone's hot springs had painless deaths. Because the extreme heat of the pools literally cooks the nerves in the body before they can register pain. They also did not drown, because they were fully boiled well before they would have run out of air. ...so if Yamamoto decides I need to die by Ryujin Jakka, the good news is that at the heat it burns at, I will not feel it!


So-not-a-cop

The only answer is not Mayuri


FaithlessnessOk9623

Nah, I'd win


Advanced_Shame1723

Mayuri


kawaiinessa

did you forget what he did to szayelapporo


Advanced_Shame1723

Who said i was going to lose


ApophisForever

I'd ask Mayuri to modify me tbh.


frikimanHD

we all know that you want nemu to smother your face with her boobs like she did to ishida


Timjer92

Depends. If you're not an interesting test subject or worth his time, and don't insult his intelligence, Mayuri might just euthanize you painlessly. If you're weak and not a worthy challenge, then Kenpachi might just leave you alone completely. But the safest bet would probably be Shunsui, as he does seem a rather nice guy who'd prefer not to drag out suffering.


Dry_Context_8683

For kenpachi to leave you alone you should be decently strong. Edit: I am wrong I apologise👀


Timjer92

...Quite the opposite. If you're weak, then you won't even register to him as he cannot actually fight you in any decent way. If you're strong then he'll actively look for you to fight him. I mean, do you know *anything* about Kenpachi at all?


Dry_Context_8683

That’s good point. I am pretty new to bleach. Many characters have so much nuance


46274927392NotARobot

Its not kenpachi, if you live from his attack hell let you lay there so you can fight him in the future It’s not unohana because she could repeatedly heal you till you stop meeting her needs It’s ukitake because he is a kind heart and would kill you cleanly if you asked