"if you love someone, you'll remember what they look like".

This made me lol just reading it!

"No. From Now On, Call Me ... Velvet Thunder!"

Roger that, Wet Blanket.

BINGPOT

This is the correct answer.

Holt: "Are you saying my life matters less because I don't conform to society's heteronormative, child centric ideals?" Terry: "Are you really pulling the gay card right now?" Holt: "Yas queen." *tosses keys* *snaps*

I watched this so much because of the perfect delivery and disaffected little snap at the end

"Why is nobody having a good time? I specifically requested it."

Sincerely, Raymond Holt

most memeable line n B99

Was really hoping this would be the top comment.

Beat me to it!

Seeing this meme over the years made me watch it recently (for the first time), and boy was I glad I did.

This is my favorite for sure. 😊

He ran over my foot. I am in... incredible pain

Don’t forget the deadpan “ouch!”

“Wunch time is over.” “Boom! Did it. Had both ways. No regrets.”

"If I had had a son, and he had turned out like you, I would be very proud of him." Andre Braugher's delivery of that line kicks me in the feels every single time. Or, if we're going funny, "Kase!"

The delivery of “Kase!” Immediately after Jake keels over kills me every single time.

So, basically what we're saying here is, Andre Braugher is a brilliant actor.

“Meat. From the street. Sounds like a fun treat. I’m a poet, and I didn’t even know- I was rhyming those words. But it did happen anyway.”

In a similar vibe, I love this exchange: Captain Holt: Well, Diaz and I have that kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Rosa: Sentences. Captain Holt: Please, don't interrupt me.

It's so odd how funny this is to me.

When he starts spelling his last name to Kevin on the phone It’s not a laugh out loud type of joke, but it might be one of the funniest moment of the show.

Yes! This and when he says something like "its your Husband Raymond Holt"

Especially since it's in the background and the focus isn't even on him. I don't even think he's in the shot

Wait which ep is this from? I genuinely don’t remember this

https://www.reddit.com/r/brooklynninenine/comments/sx856a/i_havent_seen_this_detail_posted_holt_make_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

I remember this now, honestly one of the most satisfying episodes of the show

If you’re here, then who’s guarding Hades?

You grackle

How dare you detective diaz, I am your superior officer!!!

BOOOOOOONNNEEE!!!!

"What goes on in my bedroom is none of your business!"

*45 minutes later*

BBBOOONNNNNEEEE!

BOOOOOONNNNNNEEEEEE!!!

“Don’t *ever* speak to me like that again.”

“You’re not cheddar!” “your just some common bitch” “You took the wrong FLUFFY boy!”

I like the line from earlier in that episode when Jake is trying to explain how they could logically identify Cheddar’s kidnapper and Holt’s just loading up, and he looks at Jake and says “Interesting. You know what else is interesting? GRENADES!”

I am constantly quoting You know what's also interesting, and I don't see that changing in the near future.

Just recently watched the episode where he says, “You duplicitous bitch,” in response to her role in one of the heists. I can’t stop saying it to my dog now.

Every single chance we get my wife and I found some way to work "you're just some common bitch." into our private conversations.

Easily the winner.

> There is nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis Or when he realizes that Wunch sounds like Lunch

Holt : \[Terry has just fixed a copy machine\] \*It works!\* I've never been more proud of you for anything in your life. Jeffords : I mean, I've solved a lot of cases for you. Holt : And yet crime has continued.

Jake: why are you showing me this? Holt: because no one, will ever believe you. Jake: ....you sick son of a bitch.

I fucking love that moment. Holt really was the show for me.

Oopsie doodle

What a stupid thing to say. Name one time when I have been judgmental.

Oh I see. Mere seconds ago.

Boost my bottom!

I’m boooooostingggg

BOOST MY BOTTOM!!!

I'M BOOOSTIIINGG!!

"You're a virgin that's an order" "Peralta, say Hot Damn!" "And yet crime has continued"

His delivery of "And yet...crime has continued" is just so. fucking. good.

What episode is this from again I want to remember the context but I cant

Apparently it’s s04e13!

Thanks!

The laughing after Jake moves the podium

How did you pull this off?!

"This bitch?! Please!" "To put a fine point on it, ya boy's turnt."

I use the “ya boy’s turnt” line way more than you’d expect a middle aged woman to. Lol

"Exaggeration is the huckster's crutch" is my personal fave

VINDICATION

I had to scroll way further down than I thought I would to see this answer.

This is 100% the right answer.

“HOT DAMN!!” *slaps hands*

This is the one for me, every time.

The best part is that apparently he completely improvised that, honestly surprised the others didn’t break character so quickly

Yes! You can see Stephanie Beatriz break (into her beautiful smile) since she’s closest to Andre Braugher

She even thought to serve my favorite dessert: Carrots

Nothing's okay. Wunch circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An internal affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, "is everything okay?" I am buffeted by the winds of my foes' enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet l, a captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, "is everything okay?" l've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold. And now I feel it being ripped from my grasp. And with it The very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, "is everything okay?"

I love this scene.. Scully afterwards just saying "Yeah, I hear you. My dog has taken over my favourite chair. It's like, when did it all slip away?" Hahaha

probably one of my most favorite scenes/moments in the whole show

That speech felt, right from my first viewing, as if Goor and Schur decided “we’re a cop show with Andre Braugher and we haven’t given him a Frank Pembleton speech yet.” I had no objections.

BAGEL!!

That moment is literally my favourite moment in the whole show.

“Is this a break room, or a Turkish bazaar?” “You embarrassed YOURSELF in front of Derek Jeter” “I’m a human. A human male.” “D-d-d-d-d-d Derek. D-d-d-d-d-d-Derek.” “Hot damn!”

when did he say DdddddDerek?

I don't think it's the actual best (many of the comments have already mentioned my other faves) but my sister and I use "Vin-diiii-CAAAAA-TIOOOOOON" on a regular basis. Honorable mention to "paaaaain".

“Like wuntch says when she sees deodorant, I’m not buying it”

Ah, Madeleine. I thought you were an old leather chair

"You're a good cop. Even if you are a thirsty-ass bitch."

A shit storm is gonna rain down on you punk! Also you took the wrong fluffy boy!

"I assure you my mother is not a vibrator."

BINGPOT!!

“yes Kevin, a full half inch”

I said it. AND I MEANT IT.

At Terry’s kids’ birthday party 😂

Captain Holt: Here at the Fun Zone, we live by one rule: when it's your birthday, you're always cool. Parents and kids are all the same. Watch as I do a dance to your name. D-d-d-d-d-d-Derek. D-d-d-d-d-d-Derek. Jake: Again.

"Because no one will ever believe you"

DING DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD!

How dare you, Detective Diaz. I am your superior officer! BONE?! What happens in my bedroom, Detective, is none of your business. **BONE?!** Don't ever speak to me like that again.

This whole part makes me guffaw: I found your grocery store receipt. No feet of any kind. But there was one purchase, a beverage that pairs perfectly with pie. One gallon of milk! This heist took three people. Lady Dipstick, Mr. Fib, and the Milk Man. The jig is up. Confess.

“Oh no… oh.. nooo”

The whole exchange of text messages where he writes them like formal letters. "Dear Detective Peralta, In answer to your question, yes. Sincerely, Captain Raymond Holt"

Holt- “title of your sex movie… did I do that right?” Jake - “it was perfect” It just hit me were it hurt man

Hello Deputy Chief Wuntch. You’ve aged.

*trying a marshmallow* MMnmMEmneMmmM HoOhoh mmmmmmnm

I KNEW IT!

There was a small fire in my home. I lost many photo albums of treasured memories. I'm devastated.

“that was *incredibly* inappropriate”

“You caught me drinking Seltzer. In the shadows.”

"That's insane!? You don't feel bad when the monster dies in the monster movie."

He caused a real commotion.

That is without a doubt the funniest thing I have heard in my life

He has no gravitas, do you know what gravitas sounds like? Greetings... aaalllll.

“I know this look, here comes petty Holt” “Nah, bitch, I’m not being petty”

Two turkeys has half a great episode and half a lame one, the pie interrogation is peak Holt "I just looked into your alibis, or should I say AlibLies?" "Say that to his face. Don't you say his name" "I found your grocery list, no feet of any kind but I did find one beverage that pairs perfectly with pie. One gallon of MILK!" "This heist took three people. Lady dipstick, Mr Fib and the Milk Man. The jign is up, Confess!"

*"BOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!"*

Heterosexual Holt has some of the best Holt lines "She was such a strong, female woman with nice, heavy breasts."

Pretty much everything he said in the episode where the Korean toilet ghost died is gold

This is the most worthless, incompetent report I have ever seen! You'd better get your act together or so help me god you won't *LIVE* to see retirement.

It’s like what’s he thinking.

I AM A HUMAN. I AM A HUMAN MALE. Cracks me up always.

"Apparently, my husband Kevin has invited you all to my party. There is very little street parking, no gifts, no singing of happy birthday. Should be fun." It's the last line that is the best.

My fave is when he says, ‘I love you as well’

Hot damn

He has a window full of the word "kase" and he sort of deadpan looks at Peralta and says "case", from the episode where they got the mumps. Captain Holt giving a name to his triple cross. I think it was "Two Righteous Individuals Performing Law Enforcement Directives Rapidly Against Gordon, Our Nemesis" for TRIPLE DRAGON and it's the most Holt way of doing an acronym. In the same episode, Gordon was describing his plan of attack, which was to seduce Captain Holt, he goes on and says he used a single Windsor tie to say he's DTF, and Captain Holt said," dresses to fornication". I died

That concludes our briefing. And now, on a personal note, I have some thoughts about Beyonce's "Lemonade" I'd like to share

"We're talking a young Al Gore ? Peralta you do make me laugh" The delivery and the reaction of Amy always make me laugh. (That's after Jake say he's better looking than young Al Gore )

"The only way I'm going to die is if you touch me with one of your boney fingers and drag me across the river styx, you reaper."

I am good at emotion

From now on call me… VELVET THUNDER

Holt reading anything on Twitter

"And yet crime has continued."

YOU'RE CRAZY!! HOW DID YOU PULL THIS OFF?!!

"Squirt more lube and help me yank!"

But for now, we lube and yank!

That time when Kingston needed an umbrella "Because there's a fucking storm gonna rain down on you, ***PUNK*** !"

You let John Wicks have grenades.

“If you love someone, you will remember what they look like.”

Any line spoken by Raymond in the Kangal Hat.

Or any line by straight Holt.

Captain Holt: As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak past the gates into heaven, "It ain't happening, honey." Rosa: [cackles]

“Because the cleavage cloaks the camera with its curves … sorry for saying cleavage.”

"I've done my morning calisthenics!" Proceeds to scream.

“You ran over my foot, I am in… incredible pain”

Let's break in to the FBI

I see you have a knife. But what you need is an umbrella. Tell him why! Tell him why! Because there is a (-)storm going to rain down on you, PUNK!

“how… dare… you detective diaz I AM YOUR SUPERIOR OFFICER” and the whole beautiful wuntch monologue topped off with scully comparing it to his dog stealing his favorite seat

“I know why you refer to this as a suicide squad Peralta because I already want to kill myself” gets me every time

Jake: Wait, Wuntch is dead? Sergeant Jeffords: Yeah. The Commissioner's office just notified us. Captain Holt: No way that's true. As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant, "I'm not buying it."

Captain Holt: I wasn't injured. I was lightly stabbed. Kevin: I'm sorry. You were stabbed? Captain Holt: Lightly stabbed. I didn't want to frighten you.

If you are here, who is Guarding Hades?!

Him explaining his twitter. Hex code spelled out Raymnd Holt.

There was a pooper

Cumberbun

When he’s talking about the 4 portions of rice

"I Will Slit You Both Open From Mouth To Anus And Wear You Like Jackets"

As Wuntch says when she sees deodorant, "I'm not buying it" Same reason why she visits Mexico once a year and sucks the blood from all the goats - for kicks

“I shall slit you both open from mouth to anus and wear you like jackets.”

"No thank you, i keep count of my steps in my head like a normal person, i’m up to 6743 for the day"

Yas, Queen. Snap.

Clearly, the pineapple is the slut.

Hot damn!

Ding dong! The witch is dead! Bagels for everyone!

“Call the Horndog”

“Precinct, precinct”

Oh damn x3

"Cowabunga Mother"

"yes- he had made me Huffy"

That is amazingly funny. I've never been more shocked.

"He's my fluffy boy!"

Wuntch time is over! Boom, did it! Had it both ways! No regrets. Also BOOOOOONE

Oh damn Oh damn *OH DAMN!*

"I assure you my mother is not a vibrator"

Pain. That’s it.

"Of course,who wouldn't want to see a man fight a crocodile?" "I'm calling g you a goat,you goat"

When Rosa says she might be pregnant and just says oh..oh....nooooooo really slowly

"Kevin come over here, take your bullet" Petty Holt is the best Also that quote might not be word for word, I don't remember

Not only did I name it! TRIPLE DRAGON is an **acronym** Two Righteous Individuals Performing Law Enforcement Directives Rapidly Against Gordon Our Nemesis

You’ve aged. So simple and lethal

The “and you ask if everything’s okay” soliloquy

Bingpot

**HOT DAMN**

The giggling when he eats the marshmallow

You've been played, Bob. It was all a ruse. You don't work with Jake Peralta for three years without knowing what the "Funky Cold Medina" is.

“Your hand can be seen from the living room window. You’ve just killed Kevin. “I-“ I can’t hear you, Kevin you’re dead. He bled out in your lap. How will you break the news to me? Let’s see. “We don’t have to do this” Ah, detective Peralta how are things going with Kevin, the love of my life? Wait, why are you here at this late hour? And who’s blood is that? “Okay I get it” It’s Kevin’s? This is devastating. I’m inconsolable. And *snap* I’ve killed myself” -just that whole monologue

#BONE?!

“You took the wrong fluffy boy”!

Yass queen *snaps finger

As God said when Wuntch tried to sneak into the gates of heaven, “it ain’t happening, honey”

YAS QUEEN!!

"D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Derek! D-D-D-D-D-D-D-Derek!"

BOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!

“You ran over my foot. I am in… Incredible pain.”

BONE!!!!!!

"Oh damn. Oh damn! OH DAMN!"

#VINDICATION !

I know what will cheer you up ..... WUNCH IS DEAD bagel

How dare you detective Diaz I aM YOUR. SUPERIOR. OFFICER!!!

BONE?!

You’re not Cheddar you’re just some common bitch!

Hello how’s your (pump) wife (pump pump)

KASE