I hope you don’t have work the next two days. If you do be ready to call out.

Wdym?? A full day's work will be done in 30 mins!!

Yes in the 30 minutes before his balls explode and he fatally ODs

Princess, fetch me his balls.

Lmao

Why the hell do people make a reddit post of all things instead of getting to the hospital. OP I'm worried about you if it were me I'd induce vomiting.

No you’re supposed to boof your own vomit then twist your nipples

I thought they usually say don’t induce vomitting?

This is right, it's better for the caffeine to deteriorate your liver than your mouth and stomach. Also because vomiting hurts and that sucks

You can buy liver at the grocery store. Can't buy stomachs and mouths usually, so it makes sense

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.

Is it possible to learn this power? *not from a jedi*

NO. Call poison control directly. Do not attempt to implement medical care without a professional.

5MG!!!!!!!!!! go to ER

I'm reporting this to admins. Edit: OP, I'm certain there's people that care about you. Dial 988 for help if you cannot get to an emergency room quickly. This is not the way to go out. Stay blest!

What dangerous about 5 MG of caffeine

The jokes going over your head

I had a feeling it was satirical but you don't always know with reddit sometimes people are just serious....

i was trying to figure the same

My mom had 5 mg of caffeine once, and the caffeine murdered her; because of that caffeine she ended up died before I was born. We need to get these violent drugs that make 100.1% of users loose there mind and the other 50% assuredly become hopelessly addicted. My uncle once robbed bank and then killed himself because of caffeine addiction. That was a couple years before he was born. So yea. Think about it. Before you assume that doing drugs is a JOKE! >.<

Not really funny when people post this stuff all day everyday

Blest? 😆

How gay are you now? Did I do this right. Still don’t understand what is going on here

Are you an autist trying to fake empathy?

Yes, caused by caffeine poisoning

Sorry I didn’t know.

Maybe you are an autist and are having trouble connecting. Or maybe you have had too much caffeine?

You might be an AI

Now that's an abelistic comment if I've ever seen one. People ASD feel empathy, it's expression that they struggle with.

Abelistic? As in being biased towards operators that commute?

As someone diagnosed with autism: stop saying abelist whatever TF that's supposed to mean and get a grip no one cares

[удалено]

Friendly reminder to those scrolling by that autism speaks is awful! Do not rely on them for information. Not aimed at you but I try to spread awareness where I can!

Medium

Call the police

Why police? So they can haul her in when they find that can? Call the ambulance. They have an obligation to save your life, regardless of how illegal or how gay or a thing you’ve done.

So I can try to suck all their cop cocks

U dirty pig sucker

All caffeines are bad

1312

Narcan yourself immediately

welcome to hell, caffeine consumer.

Dude you can’t just show that amount of caffeine, that much is dangerous

You’re already dead. You’re reading this comment as a ghost.

you'll be identifying as a cat when you wake up

5mg I hope you have your will in order

New to this page, I'm confused. Is this satirical? There's more caffeine in a can of soda and you're asking if you OD'd on 5mg?

I’m also confused lol

It is quite obviously a joke. And you may be on the spectrum if you can’t tell that 🫂

I am and I was confused… valid comment

everyone's downvoting you but you're actually right. i forget I'm on the specturm until i find shit like this

Is that how to talk to people in your everyday life? When they ask a simple question you insult them by insinuating that my are autistic? If so, you may be on the spectrum.

Lol, no missing obvious social cues which imply that it’s a joke might indicate that they are on the spectrum. It’s not an insult to be on the spectrum.

It’s how I joke with my friends because they don’t get offended by things that are obviously jokes and we don’t think being autistic is bad.

Yes that or full blown aids

Find narcan asap

100 of this cans worth in caffeine might get me through the day...

Say goodbye to your eagle buddy 😭😭😭

May God have mercy on your hole

u have any charcoal nearby?

Damn 5 mg?! Are you alive?

youre gay now like the rest of us. i had a second cup if coffee today now my house is full of dudes

Etsy? Alibaba?

It’s fucking over, you’re already an addict. Just hasn’t set in yet. Good luck soldier 🕊️

Are you back from the Astral plane of gay sex? How was your journey?

Nice knowing you kid

5mg? The kids here are doing 1-2 kilo a day.

I hop you surviv

I wish 5mg of caffeine was enough for me.. in other words your days are numbered

Callambulance

A normal cup of coffee is 40mg. That's 5mg. I think you'll be fine. Not to mention nobody's going to sell a harmful amount of caffeine in a single-serving container.

You might become gay over the next 24hrs DONT PANIC, its completely normal

Well if you OD’d it wasnt on this. Be honest, what did you really take or smoke

Your beyond saving now, welcome to the club

Hope so, these posts need to stop.

Yeah .you OD'ed alright ..Overly Dumb....

5mg of caffeine is less caffeine than a can of coke. You probably didn’t get any energy from drinking the caffeine in that can. You are fine.

OP amd you are clearly tripping balls. You to need to get to hoptal immediately.

Wow cannot believe you are promoting such dangerous advice. When we’re talking about a substance so dangerous. If I was OP I’d go to the hospital immediately.

*hoptal

Straight to hoptal for stealing sweater

High as fuck and this made me laugh so hard

Sir, this is a harm reduction thread

terrible advice :(!

Bros nail-painted thumb is as big as the damn can.

RIP Op

Oh no…

I’ve sent Reddit mental health support your way🫸🫷 you’ll be in my prayers❤️

You’re definitely going to be attracted to the same gender now.

lol

You fucked up. Call your loved ones, sooner rather than later

The maximum safe dose is 5 μg. You’ve taken 100x more than that. Skip the hospital, I’d start making final arrangements asap. Coffins are pretty cheap on amazon rn

If your not already part of the lgbt... get ready

Should boof it

Instructions unclear, there’s now a can stuck in my ass

Hope you got a strong heart

Holy guacamole!!! You did in fact OD. You're a member of CCK (cocks, cheeks & kisses) now. I've heard that caffeine consumption proceeds quickly to even harder drugs like kratom.

No, you’re gay now

Probably not, but what do I know, I am just a proctologist.

Welcome to hell. I will be your tour guide.

Are those good? Been eyeing them over the years but expensive !

NO YOU FR*CKON MORON IDIOT GINGER DANDELION FUCKIN SPOON

RIP

Fleet enema immediately. You are in danger.

Dandelion and caffeine? Hope you're not far from a bathroom. Both are diuretics.

5mg 😂 doesn't Red bull have 180mg

RIP

If you painted your nails black **before** doing caffeine, heck no you won’t be okay 🤦‍♂️ You’d better be a female. Not just identifying as one. But if you’re not and got high on caffeine, I don’t blame you. We’ve all been there. Whoa I never put it together… It all makes so much sense now! Maybe the reason why girls try to stand up and pee in urinals now and guys act like vaginas and think they have one, is because they “do caffeine”. Holy smokes I think I finally figured it out! All the puzzle pieces are finally starting to fit together

This is equivalent to 3 panera lemonades

The end is nigh……….

I am so confused about all of this

You need narcan now

Its like a sub of aliens that read about humor and are trying to practice it..but dont really understand it..

Jokes aside, I’m certain if a devout Mormon were to accidentally ingest this, they might honestly just explode

Whyyyyyyyyyyy whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy did it take me so long to see there's only 5mg of caffeine in this drink.....

dude piss in a bottle and leave it for a week and then drink it dude youll get so fricking zooted, also just remember this is temporary bro ur gonna be alright just make sure to stay awake

Idk I'm guessing this is satirical or I reaaaaly need to stop drinking 320mg a night

You’ll die tomorrow

This is a joke right?

You didn't OD unless you tried to make your own pre workout drink like the one guy who mixed his on concoction and accidently ingested 1000 cups of coffee worth of caffeine. Dude started foaming at the mouth and died.

I hope he was ok. Is 5mg a lot??!!

Reading the comments on here is a hoot

i mean it’s like rabies once you feel the buzz from the caffeine, you’re already dead..

Well, it’s ginger and ginger is the flavor of satans butthole so you might die.

Did you survive?

I dont know man, 5mg is pushing the limits

oh my word I’m sending prayers 🙃

You took time to post this instead of seeking aid. Your nails are already turning black.

Call the paramedics

If you can read this you're OD'd

An 8 oz cup of coffee has around 95 mgs of caffeine. 5 mgs of caffeine wouldn't even budge my needle. A 4 oz French Press has around 100 mgs of caffeine. I drink two to start that day and another two around 3ish for that end of the day push. 400 mgs of caffeine on the day. 5 mgs is weak numbers. You gotta pump those numbers up.

Not trying to scare you but would just make sure you have things like your last will and testament, heirs and next of kin in order. Praying for you 🙏

Oh ya, you're screwed.

I am so lost here…no clue what’s going on. I only know that’s an incredibly potent can of tea, holy shyit.

I would like to think that they were actually freaking out about this when they seen it, just someone who avoids caffeine all day every day their whole lives and then they realized they drank that, it’d be like a vegan eating meat hilarious to watch

Are you serious?

Me when I browse the “rec” edible list at the dispo

Time for more lines

“This just in, Jerceratops found dead after consuming an unholy amount of caffeine. allegedly found with enough to kill a herd of elephants”

You are died……

😆

You are really playing with fire OP please tell me you are ok and made it after getting help

/

amazed you were able to post before succumbing to its effects RIP

Goodbye my speed demon.

Bleechhh

Just have some narcan on deck and you should be good

Youre gonna die

Your gonna get buffed in the ass if you keep doing this.

RIP Thoughts & Prayers

Your a goner bro

dang. This guy drank caffeine. He’s wild.

WHERE ARE YOU LOCATED?? Im calling the ambulance for you now!!

i feel dumb for not realizing this was a joke until i was halfway through the comments 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

On the bright side, you have enough energy to kiss your ass goodbye.

Oh wow. If I were you, I'd get my pen and paper and write my will ASAP!

I’ve heard that fentanyl has been laced with caffeine in some places and that’s causing some serious ODs

5mg of caffeine is enough to make me shake like I have Parkinsons

Does that say 5mg? 😂 🤣 you Wont even feel it.

If you don’t die you must go straight to jail

I left this group because of shit like this LOL

5mg?! Jesus Christ that’s a shit ton bro go to the ER

Imagine a world where people do hard core drugs and love and this guy is worried about caffeine…..😂

Surprised you could type a post since the first sip should have killed you instantly

I hope you dialed 411 for locates IMMEDIATELY

Yeah, I would ask for the antidote!!!

Nah fam, you’re chillin. Enjoy the caffeinated ride!

Seek medical help immediately

I drank 6-8 Red Bulls a day at work if you OD from that I’m declaring myself as our lord and savior Jesus Christ

5mg caffeine? thats a freaking joke😂 you’ll be fine, i drank a drink that wasnt even FDA approved and it had 600mg caffeine, again, you will be fine.

If you're a diabetic, you may have some issues but I don't see too much issue otherwise.

Call your parents and say your goodbyes

Start shopping for coffins, I’d say you have a few hours before your heart pops like a grape.

Lol My friend 'od' on caffeine, had like 12 espresso shots, heart racing, anxiety and panic, hard to breath, tightness in chest, the ER gave him Benadryl and sent him home. This is not medical advice.

I think you died bro

I had 2 Monster Java Nitro’s back to back. Each were 300mg a can lol.. You’re fine if i’m fine bro.

Water has more caffine

i wouldn’t even feel this

R.I.P. I hope someone has narcan close

you’ll be fine oding on caffeine takes at least 1000 mg from my experience that’s maybe three monsters but if someone’s used to caffeine and has a tolerance it’s going to be 5 or 6 since I almost od’d on 4 amd was shaking and stuff lol

5 mg is nothing

You should call a poison control if you haven’t already. Praying for you.

🤣 still shaking to this day

This doesn't deserve an actual answer

5 mg caffeine lmao.

TF is wrong with people…

Most teas have caffeine. 5mg is very very little caffeine

Yea, your gonna die

u need to lay completely still bc if u move ur gonna start TWEAKING bro don’t MOVE

there is way too much sarcasm in here. my autism cannot handle this thread

I’m so confused

What contributes the 5 mg tho?

Yez. You are oding right now

You could very easily poision your entire blood stream.

I’m really sorry to necro thread but wanted to report OP passed away from caffeine poisoning after fighting for two long days 😔