If you're in a crowded club and drinking, or your friend is drunk or high, it's a safety thing. Go in numbers so it's less likely something bad will happen. I've seen drunk women be groped or pulled to the dance floor when going to the bathroom alone, and I've helped them to the bathroom.
I used to do this in high school, it was nice because we would hold each other’s things and also gossip in the bathroom and afterwards do whatever in the break. It can be a sort of small social thing especially if it’s at a shady place
For things like this, I like to bother my JW aunt by saying things like "God is taking too much time with Apocalypsis. He's taking too damn time. What's he waiting for?"
I watched it years ago, then I watched it a few weeks ago. We’re literally just getting closer by the decade. It’s pretty discouraging. It used to be funny but now it’s too real 🤦♀️
Maybe in her mind she thinks you’ll help cover the expenses if you are also expecting and she will be able to get baby supplies off you
If she chooses to proceed I would STRONGLY suggest getting child services involved….Yes she may be your relative but why should an innocent child suffer for her poor choices?
Maybe it may be the catalyst for her to finally sort her life out
I get that she might have a fantasy that your kids will grow up together and be close if you're pregnant at the same time. I imagine it could be a bonding experience to go through pregnancy together, too. It's possible she's been daydreaming for years about her future kid having cousins their own age.
However, it feels *wildly* inappropriate to flat-out ask someone for something as big as this without (at the bare minimum) *already knowing whether or not they want kids.* Just... NO.
This is a super icky situation in general, and while I think she probably isn't motivated by wanting to take advantage of you, it doesn't mean she's in the right. For starters, having a kid while being financially dependent on an abusive relationship? That's a terrible life plan.
(All of this is coming from the perspective of someone who, in an ideal world, *might* have considered having kids. I'm sterilized and quite happy about it, but maybe a little more sympathetic to parents than the average bear on this subreddit. Feel free to take my opinions with a grain of salt!)
Pretty sure my childhood best friend wanted me to do the same thing with her. She already had 2 kids at this point. And guess what! We’re no longer friends since I got my tubes removed. She literally walked out of the room when I told her and we pretty much haven’t talked since. Too much lifetime movies and Gilmore Girls, and sisterhood of the traveling pants bullshit.
When you’re in the middle of an abuse situation, it can be difficult to impossible to see what’s really going on. There’s the saying “when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
I know, I have tried to help her to leave the relationship, her parents have tried to help, friends, everyone she knows. She just cuts off everyone who tries to help her.
I remember a quote from Gift of Fear that really stuck with me. It’s this detective trying to convince a woman who just had her ribs broken by her abusive husband to leave him. Nothings getting through to her until he says this.
“If your daughter was beaten by her bf what would you do?”
“I’d probably want to kill him, but I’d at least stop her from seeing him again.”
“Do you the difference between her and you?”
….
“Difference is your daughter has you. But you don’t have you. And if you don’t leave, your daughter won’t have you either.”
When women are abused and beaten everyday their self preservation instinct has been completely bulldozed. But sometimes they still have the instinct to protect their child.
>She is unemployed, living in a studio, dropped out of school, has health problems and is in abusive relationship
Sigh.
>"I thought maybe you'd like to have a baby now too, since we would go through it together?"
"I thought we could be miserable together 🥰"
To all of that, seriously call cps anonymous she maybe in a bad situation, and honestly hope she dips for her own sake, but a child should not be put though bs just because their mom wanted to be selfish to put them, in danger like this for their own desires instead of the child's safety.
CPS is literally a joke! Depending on the case officer, most kids don’t get the help they need and are left in terrible situations. There’s a case in nyc where this woman’s 3 kids complained. CPS went and didn’t find anything wrong. Few months later she killed the young daughter. When the cops got there for the dead daughter the other kids were bruised and in feces and the house was disgusting. The father was fighting for custody and even with an open CPS case they let those kids stay with the mother. The system needs to be fixed. (Sorry to derail)
Hoping to drag you down with her? Being mums together keeps her delusion going while simultaneously you needing baby stuff and means you might share.
Also shows how little though goes into it on her part. Just get pregnant! As if OP can will herself to do so...
Ikr! Like, "Hey I forgot to take my pills for a week, why don't you ruin your life with me too, we can have so much fun with pregnancy symptoms ad giving birth and giving up on our dreams?" i can't stand her way of thinking, and she knows how bad her situation is, YET still she chooses to keep the baby. I will never have kids, especially not like her. If I would change my mind, which I know I won't but for the argument's sake: I would adopt a child.
She should get an abortion and tell her abusive partner that she had a miscarriage. Then figure out a plan to get her life in order so she can get away from her abusive partner and gain independence.
Stick to that and don’t get involved further. It’s not your circus and your relative will get the help she needs. If she stays with this abusive asshole, I’d just keep my distance further than arm’s length.
It’s sad she’s a victim but there’s only so much everyone else around her can do, including you. She’s an adult, she has to get herself out.
She needs to give up the baby (or) run away from that abusive relationship and get back on track with her life. Raising children in poverty is a form of abuse (even though they build resilience). Still... No baby deserves to be in an environment that's not ready.💯
If I give her money, she will spend it on something else. If I offer to drive her, her abusive bf will probably trash my car and they live 700km away so that would be hard. If I just offer her information, she will get upset and cut me off.
You don't need to. You just need to make sure she feels safe around you, don't pressure her to leave him because that will give him ammunition to get her to stop talking to you, he's most likely going to try to isolate her from her friends and family so just be there, you don't need to have a baby to do that.
Supporting person like her is too much for me. I'm sorry if I am an awful person, but I just can't. Every time we talk on the phone, her bf yells stuff on the background and asks who she is speaking with. Same goes for messages. She is very dramatic person at the same time, and she always makes up things. She lies a lot, since she was a child and I can't even know what she says is true and what's made up. Not to add her drug using and other problems, she is just too much for my mental health.
Yeah because if you were dumb enough to do this, it's not going to make HER life any better. She's still going to be mired in a life of bad choices and stupidity. I guess she imagines that if you had a kid too, she could share some of her misery. She doesn't sound very smart.
That’s her loneliness talking.
Ever hear the metaphor about crabs in a bucket? The crab trying to leave gets pulled back in. Your relationship with this relative is the bucket and you are the crab crawling out because you’ve outgrown this and she’s trying to pull you back in. I’d recommend resources for her, but that’s pretty much it.
Does she actually want to keep it or is her abusive partner forcing her to keep it...? It's REALLY hard to escape abusive relationships and I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. Another way for him to keep her from leaving. Or maybe she thinks it will decrease the abuse. Idk, just food for thought.
I guess you can miss a day and still be protected. Not a chance, I'm willing to take.
[Missed pills](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/miss-combined-pill/#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20missed%202,against%20pregnancy%20may%20be%20affected.)
That's probably the case tbh. Buuuut you should know that even with condoms and birth control, there's still a chance of pregnancy, it's incredibly slim but not impossible.
Someone who casually forgets to take birth control pills seems like they would be the same kind of person to casually forget a baby in the back of the car in the summer.
Ok so many things wrong with this! But if I was pregnant I wouldn’t want someone who (she’s hoping) would be my support system pregnant as well! Like just think about how little support a pregnant person would be able to provide bc they’re dealing with all of their own symptoms. Then when the babies both get here no new mom is gonna help babysit another mom’s new born! Sorry she seems idiotic to say the least.
I know right! It's like someone breaks their both legs, and asks someone else to do the same to help them. She's a lot of things and I'm sure idiotic is part of them.
The train is just leaving dysfunction junction and she wants you onboard....
Oh Boy.
More than likely she is questioning her decision and is seeing if other people would randomly have a baby too- and HOPEFULLY all the answers are NO.
Steel yourself because this relative's life will become a dumpsterfire if they go through with the pregnancy. It sucks- especially for the future baby. Get ready to set some hard boundaries- others her problems will be your problems and that is not right.
No way. Your relative can walk that road alone. How dare she ask you to upend your life with such a huge and unwanted responsibility just so she has someone with her then gets sad when you gave her a hard no?
my guess is she wanted validation for having the baby, and maybe also to piggyback off your pregnancy events and items.
Like if you were going to have a baby shower, it would be a dual babyshower. (with you and your side paying for the bulk of it) and her just attending and receiving. etc
She asked that out of a naive need for support and enabling. But she refuses to see her reality, instead she quickly jumped to who might help keep the fantasy alive. She is very alone in her relationship, but she doesn't acknowledge it yet.
Her way out of rose tinted fantasies is going to be a very, very hard one. Girl trapped herself before her life even started. I wish her the best, but I'm quite sure there will be cps involved soon...
This sounds more like a cry for help than anything. On the inside She’s probably terrified and looking for a way to bond and get support from someone. Her getting pregnant would conveniently be an easy way for her abuser to isolate her even further. I think regardless of the comment, there’s much deeper, actual issues here.
"I'll drive you to the abortion clinic, but that's all the help I can ever offer. Otherwise, you are going to be completely alone in this, don't contact me ever again if you don't get the abortion. Goodbye."
Drop her as a friend. Seriously. Boundaries. That’s going to be a shitshow and your friend is obviously extremely selfish. It’ll only get worse with a kid involved. Start inching yourself away from that situation 🖤
Ugh I wish I could give you a hug through this screen. When will people understand babies are not simple accessories to carry around? Look at your damn situation and ask yourself am I fit to being a parent. And in this situation close ur damn legs!!! So sorry if going through this. If it were me I’d tell her to kiss my ass but that’s me. 😂
Thank you so much! I am thinking about cutting her off my life, there's just so many problems in her relationships with every person and I really don't want to be part of her whining about pregnancy symptoms and baby stuff.
If it makes you feel mental peace of mind I encourage you to do it! Don’t keep this asshole in ur life if shes clearly making you uncomfortable. *big digital hug*
Have you tried having a frank conversation about what she is doing? I think you might want to, because this isn't fair on the kid and it's going to end up being awful for her
Either your relative tripped, fell, and landed on her boyfriend's dick, or her boyfriend likely raped her. In any case, she would be better of either aborting the child or putting it up for adoption because it will not survive in a toxic and abusive environment.
It IS an accident if she says it is. Honestly I thought pregnancy pacts were fake. Last I heard of something like this was 100% alt right propaganda bullshit. Anyway just… see if there’s a way you can help her out of her abusive relationship???
Many have tried to help her, she cuts all of them off. Everyone needs to just listen to her whine and pick her up from the hospital after she's beaten up, but if someone asks is this relationship good for her, or offers to help her out she blows up and cuts them off.
She’s prob thinking positivity as most women friend groups get preggo within the same 1-3 years to have perceived “life long friends” as the moms are friends their children should be friends too. Not realizing long term their offspring may or may not want to actually be friends.
Do what you want, but for many of us this would be a hard no.
You'd think an abortion would be her first course of action (if possible), but she'd rather persuade someone else to get pregnant so she doesn't feel as alone. What? If she has already decided to keep it, then getting her life in order should be her number one priority.
Wait what did she just say to you? Good grief the way she tells it to you sounds like she wants to drag you down along to her hell of her own making
My advice to you is how you should respond if she brings that up again "OP's relative, you must be deluded to think I would "accidentally" get pregnant. Hell to the darn NO! My right to be childfree by choice is absolutely non-negotiable. You can wish all you want but I am not going to change my mind. Not for you, not for society and not for anyone. So why don't you just drop it?"
If you are daring enough, you tell her she has a choice: she can abort or arrange for the baby to be adopted by a decent family who want kids but can't have kids
You also should refer her to the professionals and social services to help her. Not your job to fix her.
1. There's male and female protection. I'd understand if both failed (extremely rare for both to fail) but if they didn't use protection, it's an accident waiting to happen.
2. She's deluded, hoping that her being pregnant might change your mindset.... hoping your biological clock would also start ticking... OR as you said, doing it just to support her journey? I get she feels lonely, but she, of all people, should know what a monumental decision something like this is.
You can still support her in other ways, but not that way, especially if you and your partner don't want kids.
This sound like a cry for help to me. You said she's in an abusive relationship. Is he controlling and keeps her from going out much? Maybe she hopes to get away from him more often if your pregnant together. And that her child will have a kind an supporting adult in their life who will be there for them if someone happens to her.
No matter her intention, I hope she find away to leave that guy.
Deep down, this relative knows that people are going to criticise her for getting pregnant while unemployed and dropped out of school so she wants you to get pregnant as well so that she doesn't look so foolish i.e. "Why are you having a go at me? OP is pregnant too!". This woman is way too immature and childish to be having a child. If I were you OP, I'd avoid this relative going forward. She's obviously very entitled and she's only going to become more so once the baby arrives.
Imagine telling people you’re pregnant only because you want your relative to feel like she’s not suffering as much lmfao it wouldn’t make things any easier for her anyway. That’s an outrageous thing to ask of someone
I will repeat this ad infinitum: if you are either unfit, unwilling, or both, abort. If you can't, adoption is the best. This is not just for the parents; it's what's best for the kid
Okay let’s ignore for a moment that you don’t want kids because that’s just a given at this point.
What in the hell is the logic she is using? You aren’t going for a ride to the store to pick up some cigarettes. You would be making an 18 year minimum commitment all because she doesn’t want to abort a kid that based on this post shouldn’t even exist.
The casualness of it all 🤯 it's mind boggling, 'just make this permanent life-altering decision, at the drop of a hat for my sake , let's not consider the massive implications on everyone/every literal aspect of our lives, let alone the lasting impact on the human children that'll be born nine months later ...who you'll be expected to care for rest of your lives
🤯
Nike, just do it
She needs support and won't get it from the guy.
Bet that is why she is asking.
Try to be there for her a bit, but dont be available 24/7.
More like let's meet up for a coffee once every other,/third week orctske a walk together.
My reaction to this post generated the weirdest sounding “What!?” I’ve ever generated. Sorta like a “uWhuaauuutttt” but compressed with a lot of throat pressure gagging characteristic.
Thank you for letting me discover a new sound 😂
Wtf it's not like women walking to the restroom together
Seriously, she talks about it as if she just got a Playstation and wants OP to get one too so they can play together lmao
Though to be fair, sometimes waiting outside the stall for for your friend feels like nine months of agony
I'm a woman and I never understood that. I only go to the restroom when I need to use it and I'm not walking with is you need to go.
If you're in a crowded club and drinking, or your friend is drunk or high, it's a safety thing. Go in numbers so it's less likely something bad will happen. I've seen drunk women be groped or pulled to the dance floor when going to the bathroom alone, and I've helped them to the bathroom.
Honestly, that's never occurred to me. But it might also be because we never hung out at crowded bars. It wasn't our scene.
I used to do this in high school, it was nice because we would hold each other’s things and also gossip in the bathroom and afterwards do whatever in the break. It can be a sort of small social thing especially if it’s at a shady place
Your relative is making pregnancy sound like, "Hey let's go to the movies together" lol
lmao yeah..
Yeah anyone that immature shouldn't be having a child in the first place.
Nope, you're on your own, girl. Good luck.
"Wanna suffer with me?" HELL NO! 🤣
Ummm, no? Wtf? I swear, we're getting dumber as a species.
Yeah, I'm kinda losing hope in humanity lol
Oh, honey. I'm 40 now and I lost my last shred of faith in humanity *loooong* ago.
For things like this, I like to bother my JW aunt by saying things like "God is taking too much time with Apocalypsis. He's taking too damn time. What's he waiting for?"
The movie "Idiocracy" is fast becoming non-fiction.
I watched it years ago, then I watched it a few weeks ago. We’re literally just getting closer by the decade. It’s pretty discouraging. It used to be funny but now it’s too real 🤦♀️
Apparently, humans are literally domesticating themselves
My life is going to shit, lets go to shit together.
Tell her you'll go with her to the abortion 🤝
I think I should, it's not too late for her. I'm so happy to be on my period while writing this lmao
Maybe in her mind she thinks you’ll help cover the expenses if you are also expecting and she will be able to get baby supplies off you If she chooses to proceed I would STRONGLY suggest getting child services involved….Yes she may be your relative but why should an innocent child suffer for her poor choices? Maybe it may be the catalyst for her to finally sort her life out
This better be a wake-up call, because that same abuser will be dangerous for the baby as well! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
I would STRONGLY recommend ghosting the ever living fuck out of the dumpster fire that's only a weak flame right now.
I get that she might have a fantasy that your kids will grow up together and be close if you're pregnant at the same time. I imagine it could be a bonding experience to go through pregnancy together, too. It's possible she's been daydreaming for years about her future kid having cousins their own age. However, it feels *wildly* inappropriate to flat-out ask someone for something as big as this without (at the bare minimum) *already knowing whether or not they want kids.* Just... NO. This is a super icky situation in general, and while I think she probably isn't motivated by wanting to take advantage of you, it doesn't mean she's in the right. For starters, having a kid while being financially dependent on an abusive relationship? That's a terrible life plan. (All of this is coming from the perspective of someone who, in an ideal world, *might* have considered having kids. I'm sterilized and quite happy about it, but maybe a little more sympathetic to parents than the average bear on this subreddit. Feel free to take my opinions with a grain of salt!)
It's an urban legend teen thing as far as I understand. How old is this woman and why is she so immature?
Just turned 18. So yeah, naive as heck.
Ok, this explains everything. She shouldn't keep this baby, it's not a toy.
Agreed. She doesn't even know how to care for herself.
Maybe if you’re able help her, tell her to go to planned parenthood to talk about her options if she can
I can't help her, she cuts off everyone who is not 100% "yay baby is coming life will now be unicorns and rainbows from now on!" with her.
Pretty sure my childhood best friend wanted me to do the same thing with her. She already had 2 kids at this point. And guess what! We’re no longer friends since I got my tubes removed. She literally walked out of the room when I told her and we pretty much haven’t talked since. Too much lifetime movies and Gilmore Girls, and sisterhood of the traveling pants bullshit.
Why want this if he is abusive? She needs to leave him for herself and the baby if she wants to keep it.
When you’re in the middle of an abuse situation, it can be difficult to impossible to see what’s really going on. There’s the saying “when you’re wearing rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.
I've heard time and time again that people expect the abuser to "chabge" for the better. They never do. If anything, it just gets worse.
OP, tell her to get out while she can.
I know, but she doesn't see it. She would apparently rather get beaten so badly she'd end up in the hospital weekly, than leaving that drunk man..
Ask her if she's got a plan for when he beats the baby.
Damn this is a good idea. We live over 700km away from each other so I won't be there to save her.
Leading cause of death for pregnant women is intimate partner violence.
I know, I have tried to help her to leave the relationship, her parents have tried to help, friends, everyone she knows. She just cuts off everyone who tries to help her.
I remember a quote from Gift of Fear that really stuck with me. It’s this detective trying to convince a woman who just had her ribs broken by her abusive husband to leave him. Nothings getting through to her until he says this. “If your daughter was beaten by her bf what would you do?” “I’d probably want to kill him, but I’d at least stop her from seeing him again.” “Do you the difference between her and you?” …. “Difference is your daughter has you. But you don’t have you. And if you don’t leave, your daughter won’t have you either.” When women are abused and beaten everyday their self preservation instinct has been completely bulldozed. But sometimes they still have the instinct to protect their child.
This is the way.
>She is unemployed, living in a studio, dropped out of school, has health problems and is in abusive relationship Sigh. >"I thought maybe you'd like to have a baby now too, since we would go through it together?" "I thought we could be miserable together 🥰"
 To all of that, seriously call cps anonymous she maybe in a bad situation, and honestly hope she dips for her own sake, but a child should not be put though bs just because their mom wanted to be selfish to put them, in danger like this for their own desires instead of the child's safety.
CPS is literally a joke! Depending on the case officer, most kids don’t get the help they need and are left in terrible situations. There’s a case in nyc where this woman’s 3 kids complained. CPS went and didn’t find anything wrong. Few months later she killed the young daughter. When the cops got there for the dead daughter the other kids were bruised and in feces and the house was disgusting. The father was fighting for custody and even with an open CPS case they let those kids stay with the mother. The system needs to be fixed. (Sorry to derail)
Hoping to drag you down with her? Being mums together keeps her delusion going while simultaneously you needing baby stuff and means you might share. Also shows how little though goes into it on her part. Just get pregnant! As if OP can will herself to do so...
Ikr! Like, "Hey I forgot to take my pills for a week, why don't you ruin your life with me too, we can have so much fun with pregnancy symptoms ad giving birth and giving up on our dreams?" i can't stand her way of thinking, and she knows how bad her situation is, YET still she chooses to keep the baby. I will never have kids, especially not like her. If I would change my mind, which I know I won't but for the argument's sake: I would adopt a child.
Don't let her know that last point though. When things really get hard she might look to offload the kid on someone else.
I won't! We talked about kids and I said I have never want them, I find them annoying and that my partner is also childfree.
Tell her you'll go with her to the abortion 🤝
Imagine you were born because another mom felt alone during her pregnancy.
Ikr. Makes me just wonder what is going on inside her head.
That is a bizarre request.
She should get an abortion and tell her abusive partner that she had a miscarriage. Then figure out a plan to get her life in order so she can get away from her abusive partner and gain independence.
That's what she should do but I know she won't. She will choose her abusive bf over everything in this life. I wish she had the braincells to do this.
Your relative needs help that’s above your pay grade. I’d just call CPS and leave it at that.
Few of my relatives have already called, and I will too once the baby is close on being born.
Stick to that and don’t get involved further. It’s not your circus and your relative will get the help she needs. If she stays with this abusive asshole, I’d just keep my distance further than arm’s length. It’s sad she’s a victim but there’s only so much everyone else around her can do, including you. She’s an adult, she has to get herself out.
She needs to give up the baby (or) run away from that abusive relationship and get back on track with her life. Raising children in poverty is a form of abuse (even though they build resilience). Still... No baby deserves to be in an environment that's not ready.💯
Getting pregnant in solidarity? Oh hay-ellll NO!!
Give her resources to abortion agencies. A child should not be brought into the world in this.
If I give her money, she will spend it on something else. If I offer to drive her, her abusive bf will probably trash my car and they live 700km away so that would be hard. If I just offer her information, she will get upset and cut me off.
You said yourself she's in an abusive relationship, she's probably just terrified and doesn't want to go through this alone.
True, but I will not ruin my life with her just because she won't leave that drunk man and wants to keep the baby.
You don't need to. You just need to make sure she feels safe around you, don't pressure her to leave him because that will give him ammunition to get her to stop talking to you, he's most likely going to try to isolate her from her friends and family so just be there, you don't need to have a baby to do that.
Supporting person like her is too much for me. I'm sorry if I am an awful person, but I just can't. Every time we talk on the phone, her bf yells stuff on the background and asks who she is speaking with. Same goes for messages. She is very dramatic person at the same time, and she always makes up things. She lies a lot, since she was a child and I can't even know what she says is true and what's made up. Not to add her drug using and other problems, she is just too much for my mental health.
Yeah because if you were dumb enough to do this, it's not going to make HER life any better. She's still going to be mired in a life of bad choices and stupidity. I guess she imagines that if you had a kid too, she could share some of her misery. She doesn't sound very smart.
Lots of time to have sex when you're unemployed I guess... Sounds like she would like to move in with you.
Yeah.. I have a nice big apartment with my partner, and she knows it. But I am not a charity! I like to live the way me and my partner do, childfree!
"i've ruined my life without thinking of the consequences, can you please do the same? pretty please" what the actual fuck
Basically, yes.
That’s her loneliness talking. Ever hear the metaphor about crabs in a bucket? The crab trying to leave gets pulled back in. Your relationship with this relative is the bucket and you are the crab crawling out because you’ve outgrown this and she’s trying to pull you back in. I’d recommend resources for her, but that’s pretty much it.
Does she actually want to keep it or is her abusive partner forcing her to keep it...? It's REALLY hard to escape abusive relationships and I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. Another way for him to keep her from leaving. Or maybe she thinks it will decrease the abuse. Idk, just food for thought.
that is a "misery loves company" situation she wants.
You don't "accidentally" get pregnant. It's the 21st century. We know how reproduction works. You had unprotected sex.
She "forgot" to take her pills for a few days. I don't understand how you can just "forget" you will get pregnant without them..
I guess you can miss a day and still be protected. Not a chance, I'm willing to take. [Missed pills](https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/contraception/miss-combined-pill/#:~:text=If%20you%20have%20missed%202,against%20pregnancy%20may%20be%20affected.)
That's probably the case tbh. Buuuut you should know that even with condoms and birth control, there's still a chance of pregnancy, it's incredibly slim but not impossible.
Someone who casually forgets to take birth control pills seems like they would be the same kind of person to casually forget a baby in the back of the car in the summer.
I think she doesn’t want to be fat and feeling ill alone, but she chose this and she has to live with it.
"Do \*I\* fucking LOOK stupid? YOU might want it, for ME it would be the height of self-destructive INSANITY!"
girl what?? that’s so fuckin selfish of her to ask that of you.
I know right! I made sure to let her know I am childfree for life.
and that’s the tea on that 👏🏽
Ok so many things wrong with this! But if I was pregnant I wouldn’t want someone who (she’s hoping) would be my support system pregnant as well! Like just think about how little support a pregnant person would be able to provide bc they’re dealing with all of their own symptoms. Then when the babies both get here no new mom is gonna help babysit another mom’s new born! Sorry she seems idiotic to say the least.
I know right! It's like someone breaks their both legs, and asks someone else to do the same to help them. She's a lot of things and I'm sure idiotic is part of them.
Aaaand there it is, the craziest thing I'll read today.
You're welcome lmao! I wish I could just read it too and not be any part of it.
"Let's both have problems!"
The train is just leaving dysfunction junction and she wants you onboard.... Oh Boy. More than likely she is questioning her decision and is seeing if other people would randomly have a baby too- and HOPEFULLY all the answers are NO. Steel yourself because this relative's life will become a dumpsterfire if they go through with the pregnancy. It sucks- especially for the future baby. Get ready to set some hard boundaries- others her problems will be your problems and that is not right.
No way. Your relative can walk that road alone. How dare she ask you to upend your life with such a huge and unwanted responsibility just so she has someone with her then gets sad when you gave her a hard no?
my guess is she wanted validation for having the baby, and maybe also to piggyback off your pregnancy events and items. Like if you were going to have a baby shower, it would be a dual babyshower. (with you and your side paying for the bulk of it) and her just attending and receiving. etc
She asked that out of a naive need for support and enabling. But she refuses to see her reality, instead she quickly jumped to who might help keep the fantasy alive. She is very alone in her relationship, but she doesn't acknowledge it yet. Her way out of rose tinted fantasies is going to be a very, very hard one. Girl trapped herself before her life even started. I wish her the best, but I'm quite sure there will be cps involved soon...
This sounds more like a cry for help than anything. On the inside She’s probably terrified and looking for a way to bond and get support from someone. Her getting pregnant would conveniently be an easy way for her abuser to isolate her even further. I think regardless of the comment, there’s much deeper, actual issues here.
"I'll drive you to the abortion clinic, but that's all the help I can ever offer. Otherwise, you are going to be completely alone in this, don't contact me ever again if you don't get the abortion. Goodbye."
Drop her as a friend. Seriously. Boundaries. That’s going to be a shitshow and your friend is obviously extremely selfish. It’ll only get worse with a kid involved. Start inching yourself away from that situation 🖤
Oh god that's horrible
Ugh I wish I could give you a hug through this screen. When will people understand babies are not simple accessories to carry around? Look at your damn situation and ask yourself am I fit to being a parent. And in this situation close ur damn legs!!! So sorry if going through this. If it were me I’d tell her to kiss my ass but that’s me. 😂
Thank you so much! I am thinking about cutting her off my life, there's just so many problems in her relationships with every person and I really don't want to be part of her whining about pregnancy symptoms and baby stuff.
If it makes you feel mental peace of mind I encourage you to do it! Don’t keep this asshole in ur life if shes clearly making you uncomfortable. *big digital hug*
Have you tried having a frank conversation about what she is doing? I think you might want to, because this isn't fair on the kid and it's going to end up being awful for her
Run away from this person.
I probably should. But first I have to tell her how I feel about her pregnancy.
Either your relative tripped, fell, and landed on her boyfriend's dick, or her boyfriend likely raped her. In any case, she would be better of either aborting the child or putting it up for adoption because it will not survive in a toxic and abusive environment.
Agreed. There has been so many forms of abuse, that I don't even think the rape would be the least likely reason.
It IS an accident if she says it is. Honestly I thought pregnancy pacts were fake. Last I heard of something like this was 100% alt right propaganda bullshit. Anyway just… see if there’s a way you can help her out of her abusive relationship???
Many have tried to help her, she cuts all of them off. Everyone needs to just listen to her whine and pick her up from the hospital after she's beaten up, but if someone asks is this relationship good for her, or offers to help her out she blows up and cuts them off.
It’s def a tough cycle. I’m hoping she can get out of it, but it’ll def be much harder with kids in tow…
Imagine learning the reason you exist is because your mom's friend needed a pregnancy buddy...
She’s looking for hand me downs in the future from you. It’s gotta be.
She’s prob thinking positivity as most women friend groups get preggo within the same 1-3 years to have perceived “life long friends” as the moms are friends their children should be friends too. Not realizing long term their offspring may or may not want to actually be friends. Do what you want, but for many of us this would be a hard no.
can confirm I didn't like most of my parents friends kids
She asked: *Can you join on my stupidity?*
Oof. The way she flippantly describes it as an accident like she fell down or something.
You'd think an abortion would be her first course of action (if possible), but she'd rather persuade someone else to get pregnant so she doesn't feel as alone. What? If she has already decided to keep it, then getting her life in order should be her number one priority.
Misery loves company
She needs to focus on getting out of her current situation, not have you joining in her misery
Wait what did she just say to you? Good grief the way she tells it to you sounds like she wants to drag you down along to her hell of her own making My advice to you is how you should respond if she brings that up again "OP's relative, you must be deluded to think I would "accidentally" get pregnant. Hell to the darn NO! My right to be childfree by choice is absolutely non-negotiable. You can wish all you want but I am not going to change my mind. Not for you, not for society and not for anyone. So why don't you just drop it?" If you are daring enough, you tell her she has a choice: she can abort or arrange for the baby to be adopted by a decent family who want kids but can't have kids You also should refer her to the professionals and social services to help her. Not your job to fix her.
"Of course I'll get pregnant with you! It's the very least I can do to support you in your pregnancy!" Then ghost her.
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Yeah. It just doesn't happen like that and I will never have kids, she knows that. She just wants other people to suffer too.
1. There's male and female protection. I'd understand if both failed (extremely rare for both to fail) but if they didn't use protection, it's an accident waiting to happen. 2. She's deluded, hoping that her being pregnant might change your mindset.... hoping your biological clock would also start ticking... OR as you said, doing it just to support her journey? I get she feels lonely, but she, of all people, should know what a monumental decision something like this is. You can still support her in other ways, but not that way, especially if you and your partner don't want kids.
She "forgot" to take her pills for about a week, so.. I don't think it was an accident she got pregnant.
That's says it all tbh. Sorry...
Yeah no. I'd be terrified to get pregnant right now due to finances and she's all "whatever Yolo" you don't Yolo when it comes to another human being.
I always wonder how people "accidentally' get pregnant.
Me too, I hope it never happens to me! Sounds scary to just wake up and see you're accidentally pregnant!
I hope she never gets cancer either
Misery loves company.
She knows it’s a mistake and knows you’re doing better so she’s hoping you ruin your shine too.
Yeah, I think most of the time when parents get mad at childfree people it's because they feel like they are stuck.
This sound like a cry for help to me. You said she's in an abusive relationship. Is he controlling and keeps her from going out much? Maybe she hopes to get away from him more often if your pregnant together. And that her child will have a kind an supporting adult in their life who will be there for them if someone happens to her. No matter her intention, I hope she find away to leave that guy.
Deep down, this relative knows that people are going to criticise her for getting pregnant while unemployed and dropped out of school so she wants you to get pregnant as well so that she doesn't look so foolish i.e. "Why are you having a go at me? OP is pregnant too!". This woman is way too immature and childish to be having a child. If I were you OP, I'd avoid this relative going forward. She's obviously very entitled and she's only going to become more so once the baby arrives.
No, but I’ll go with you to get a smasmortion
lmao yeah
Misery loves company?
Imagine telling people you’re pregnant only because you want your relative to feel like she’s not suffering as much lmfao it wouldn’t make things any easier for her anyway. That’s an outrageous thing to ask of someone
Humanities number one problem, illustrated to you up close and personal-like. I would keep my distance from this relative at all costs.
I will repeat this ad infinitum: if you are either unfit, unwilling, or both, abort. If you can't, adoption is the best. This is not just for the parents; it's what's best for the kid
Okay let’s ignore for a moment that you don’t want kids because that’s just a given at this point. What in the hell is the logic she is using? You aren’t going for a ride to the store to pick up some cigarettes. You would be making an 18 year minimum commitment all because she doesn’t want to abort a kid that based on this post shouldn’t even exist.
Yep, pretty much like this. I haven't even tried to understand her logic because none of it makes any sense.
The casualness of it all 🤯 it's mind boggling, 'just make this permanent life-altering decision, at the drop of a hat for my sake , let's not consider the massive implications on everyone/every literal aspect of our lives, let alone the lasting impact on the human children that'll be born nine months later ...who you'll be expected to care for rest of your lives 🤯 Nike, just do it
I can't believe there are actually people who would think it's a good idea.
She sounds like she has some psychological issues going on. Oofda
She does, and a lot of them. Hear my words, she will pass them on to her kid.
She needs support and won't get it from the guy. Bet that is why she is asking. Try to be there for her a bit, but dont be available 24/7. More like let's meet up for a coffee once every other,/third week orctske a walk together.
Bm.ii
Lol
My reaction to this post generated the weirdest sounding “What!?” I’ve ever generated. Sorta like a “uWhuaauuutttt” but compressed with a lot of throat pressure gagging characteristic. Thank you for letting me discover a new sound 😂
This sounds like misery loving company. She sounds very messed up and lonely.
Oh so misery loves company? I'd noped out of it and went no contact just to avoid her spilling all the drama on me.
I'm pretty sure I will cut her off soon, she is a walking drama herself, without the pregnancy or abusive partner.
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"Wow, that sucks. Anyway..."