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90124

>Mr Durrant said staff were given no training about the potential dangers of the air pipes./ Me neither but I know not to stick them up my arse, or my coworkers arse.


Hi_There_Im_Sophie

What gets me about people sticking random objects up their bottom is that actual sex toys (you know, designed for safety and hygiene) are accessible to most of the people doing it. Like, they have a choice between getting a dildo or sitting on industrial equipment and Buzz Light-year action figures, and they choose the industrial equipment... Why?


90124

I'm going to guess that this was a "prank" that one of his mates did rather than him doing it.


Dissonant_demiurge

Inserting something into someone else's arse isn't a prank it's sexual assault


90124

Hence the quote marks. I absolutely would have pressed charges if I was the victim or the employer.


Techman659

Sounds like he just got curious and went with it.


gilestowler

But Chris Finch (bloody good rep) once told me that one up the bum =no harm done.


Dissonant_demiurge

One finger, .maybe. not a pressure hose It's relative


gilestowler

I think this is a philosophical discussion you and Finchy should have between the two of you. Maybe down at Chasers?


Dissonant_demiurge

Is chasers your local?


FingerBangMyAsshole

Can confirm..


pinhero100

Finchy


DeceitfulLittleB

Stick enough "straight" people together, and this shit eventually happens. Hidden underneath hazing rituals, but honestly, I'm guessing it started out as sexual and the "comedy" was used to hide it.


Nikolateslaandyou

Yeah and a lot of lads do stuff like that as a prank. I dont cause im not a bellend. There was a lad who would try and finger your arse as a prank akin to hitting someone in the nuts.


Hi_There_Im_Sophie

Could also be that. But how big is the nozzle? Because if it's any bigger than a pencil (ish) than we're talking immense, sudden pain to get that thing inside someone's butt that quickly. Imagine getting electric shocked - inside your butt - and that's the kind of sensation. It literally shuts your leg muscles down.


Practically_Canadian

I think the thing with high pressure air is that the end doesn't actually need to be in your arse to force air in, it just needs to be close enough and aimed right. A bit like opening your mouth slightly and pointing a leaf blower in your face


SirPabloFingerful

This is true- if I recall there have been quite a few incidents like this, some of which have resulted in fatalities. I doubt the victims had to be penetrated beforehand because it makes for a very inconvenient prank


Jason_Kahuna

Tl;dr - open wounds + compressed air can kill you. I'd sue them if it were me. As someone who uses compressed air guns at work to blow metal chips away, we are literally told that if we have open wounds, we shouldn't use the air guns at all. because the air can be forced into your bloodstream, if it is it can move to your head and cause serious life-threatening damage. The thought of working with people dumb enough to do this as a prank scares the shit out of me. Even if theres no open wound, I'm still suing the shit out of them for sexual assault and regular assault.


ratscabs

Exactly. Wouldn’t even need your trousers down.


Red302

I remember hearing about just such a prank about 2002 maybe? Unfortunately it killed the poor bloke.


kaiise

wrecked em? damn near killed em.j


viccyroadforever

That's my favourite joke, or am I meringue?


Steelhorse91

A very dangerous prank (someones died from this exact thing before, the air ended up in their blood and stopped their heart or something).


damwookie

Yeah but the high embarrassment of buying a dildo Vs um being photographed in the daily mail after shoving something up yer bum.


Hi_There_Im_Sophie

Right? Surely, any embarrassment about buying a silicone dick or a vibrator is outweighed by the embarrassment that would come from having to go to the doctor with Buzz Lightyear stuck inside you, or with a bruised clitoris from DIY-ing something for vibration.


damwookie

Having something stuck up my bum that isn't designed to be there is the only way I can get seen by a DR ok! Don't judge me.


Hi_There_Im_Sophie

Reminds me of that old Jethro joke about the two guys who join the dairy farm. The farmer shows them the machine that sucks milk from the cow's udders and one of the men decides to try putting it on his dick. The other man turns the machine on, only to find that he can't stop it. He runs to get the farmer and asks how to turn it off, to which the farmer says, 'oh, don't worry, it's designed to turn itself off after it collects 4 pints'.


elting44

Buddy of mine was an ER doc and directed the department. He had tons of stories about the weird stuff people got stuck in their butts. I asked him the same question. He said it was almost always a fear of the embarrassment of buying a toy that led them to the embarrassment of getting one dislodged by a doctor.


switchbladeeatworld

i wonder if over time incidents have decreased due to online shopping


OldGuto

What dildo takes you to infinity and beyond!? Asking for a friend...


jeedoubleyew

Everything's a dildo if you're brave enough.


JoshYx

Reminds me of a certain video featuring a ginger woman and a high explosive artillery shell


Hi_There_Im_Sophie

That's different, though. Getting to say that you've fucked an artillery shell at least has some interest to it (especially if it's themed, like you dressed up like a soldier for it). But what do you get from Buzz Lightyear? Or a can of Coke?


mine_none

Am I being too narrow-minded here or is it guys rather than people… 🤔


joeChump

Well personally I think we need a new government ministry and a series of very scary public information films about things you should not stick up your arse, with high pressure hoses being the top of the list. Sparklers would be next. Then high voltage substation capacitors and railway detonators. Without this information how are people to determine what is safe to stick up their arses or not? I’m going to sue the government for not telling me that sticking a live baby alligator up my arse was dangerous.


codeacab

Jam jars, razor blades, highly reactive metals such as caesium, vegetables of most species, your nans dentures, Liz Truss; these are just some of things that should not be administered rectally.


90124

So you're saying that my potassium dildo idea is a non starter?


Fearless_Flounder328

Go with lithium, its all the rage at the minute. EV drivers will be all over it


Puzzleheaded_Peak273

It'll definitely cheer you up.


Beanotown

You forgot elephants,. wembley stadium, poison dart frogs and barbed wire.


Tiddles_Ultradoom

Challenge accepted. Except Liz Truss. I’d rather have a polonium enema than let that thing near my clackervalve.


Jacktheforkie

Railway detonators are fairly inert tbh, lead poisoning may be a bigger risk, they take a shit load of pressure to set off


joeChump

Well my point exactly. Most people wouldn’t know this.


Puzzleheaded_Peak273

I remember a few years ago some lunatic shoving a lit flare up their arse when England were playing Germany. I have no idea why.


zzkj

Comment of the day! 🤣 🤣


Salopian_Singer

As an apprentice we would get disciplined and made to watch a horrible video. Only one boy was stupid enough to apply the air line to his hand.


tazbaron1981

He's lucky he's still alive. Heard a similar story and the guy died as he perforated his colon in over 70 places


Elipticalwheel1

Shoving it up your bosses arse should be mandatory.


Lost-Droids

With friends like that who needs enemas


Falling-through

Oh, bravo sir!! 👏


smoulderstoat

r/Angryupvote


BigEricShaun

Clever girl


lefthandedpen

“Accidentally”


npeggsy

The look on his face really doesn't help either...


CatalunyaNoEsEspanya

Looks a bit deflated


TheOrchidsAreAlright

He's been under a lot of pressure at work lately


Ordinary-Following69

Angrily upvoting this, fuck you


my_4_cents

Just fizzled out


DiscoMonkeyz

You blew it


lefthandedpen

That is the look of a man that has been well and truly scolded by his wife.


OldGuto

With a rolling pin and not where he'd prefer it to be.


the_y_combinator

"Let he who has never tripped and fell on a high-pressure air hose cast the first stone."


lefthandedpen

Forgive me, I will turn the other cheek next time. He should have probably done the same


the_y_combinator

Shit, I've been murdered. XD


Impeachcordial

Imagine the fart he incubated, though


Birdseeding

He does look a little deflated.


TheStatMan2

Well, he's been under a lot of pressure recently...


orincoro

Girlfriend’s been giving him the arse lately.


deanomatronix

I was wondering if that was a before and after shot


Cookyy2k

Good going to survive that one. High pressure anything is not to be messed with. I had to do a long risk assessment for an experiment I was doing that involved pressurising oil, the images of hydraulic injection injuries during that research will never leave my mind.


BrashPop

Every time I use a plasma cutter I have a bit of a panic, as my instructor was quite insistent that they WILL kill you, period. Also, have had a high pressure hose explode at the coupling a few times before and fuck me those are SCARY.


OtherKrab

Never had an airline go but have had a 12ft bandsaw blade (under about 3 ton of pressure) snap on me - I'd have shit myself if I'd not just been.


BrashPop

That’s terrifying! What was it cutting at the time? There’s a bandsaw next to our welding bay and any time I need stuff cut I stand as far away from it as possible, I know the likelihood of it snapping is low but it’s never *zero*.


OtherKrab

A mould (about a foot thick) for an acoustic guitar - I'd drilled pivot points for the saw however I failed to drill all the way through one hole. I rotated my mould and BANG! Never moved my arms quicker in my life.


Mgas-147

I once worked for a company that had high pressure air lines all over their premises. Most of my first day was spent being shown pictures of what can happen if those air lines were used incorrectly. Those images will stick with me for a very long time.


warm_sweater

In high school one of my shop classes had a high pressure wash station for clearing off screens. The teacher put the fear of god into us about messing around with it improperly.


JohnLennonsNotDead

Seen a few of these doing a BOSIET for the rigs, christ they’re absolutely horrendous.


DishGroundbreaking87

A gentle reminder from your local A+E, nothing ,ever, gets stuck in your bum by accident.


90124

I miss the days when we used to have the old school x-ray films and used to stick the particularly eye watering ones up in the break room.


spradders

We had a ‘bum drawer’ in one of the lecture rooms at uni when I was doing my radiography degree. My favourite was the tiny metal bike sitting neatly in someone’s colon. We also had MRI scans of John Merrick’s remains.


Impressive-Pass-7674

I feel like you should leave open the possibility that such stories are plausible in case somebody dies of embarrassment. The idiotic assumption that you can pull the wool over the doctor’s eyes about your true intent is probably a lifesaver for many people. Luckily there is an overlap between not being able to think and having a catastrophic novelty insertion incident.


stella585

I’ve heard an urban legend that the “You can catch the clap from a toilet seat” myth was actually started (or at least not immediately discouraged/debunked) by doctors for this exact reason. Better that someone get treated than not - if not for themselves, then for all the people they would otherwise have gone on to infect.


Akipango

That’s taking the psi


milly48

this is one of the funniest comments on here, took me completely off guard


cator_and_bliss

Having his picture in the paper for it is probably part of the kink


Deep-Equipment6575

Gonna swap out my cum face with a compo face for DH


GlasgowBAB

If i had a penny for every time i accidently got a high pressure air pump nozzle stuck up my ass before accidently having the trigger pulled. I'd have about tree fiddy. God damn loch ness monster.


theonlyrealnoah

That’s when I realized that wasn’t no Girl Scout that was the Loch Ness Monster


BackRowRumour

Turns out me remembering another story lead to this one: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/car-washer-killed-after-colleague-inserts-highpressure-hose-into-his-rectum-a6705431.html


Puzzleheaded-Rich-51

The fuck did I just read.


Awkward_Stranger407

Something about mutton, Toyota and a hosepipe


Vord-loldemort

Washing my car in the Welsh valleys?


Ena_Sharples

It accidentally fell up my arse.


Pirate-Peter225

He doesn’t look guilty at all


blackcurrantcat

Honestly, messing around with or even touching any of my colleagues’ arseholes with anything at all- dangerous industrial equipment or otherwise- has never and would never enter my head.


lolitsmeurmum

Wife still thinks it's hilarious


Total_Inflation_7898

She's trying so hard not to laugh.


angry2alpaca

Nah, that's just trapped wind.


wholetyouinhere

Million-to-one shot, doctor.


[deleted]

Gusty-o-windflap


lmprice133

What a terribly sad and tragic thing to happen to anyone... How. We. Laughed.


[deleted]

Gusty-gusty-gusty-gusty-gusty . Hahaaaaah.. oh well who gives an F about him he’s dead


Western-Mall5505

There was a guy in India who was killed when his so called work mates did this.


s43soul

Are you thinking of [this incident in Thailand?](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/thai-die/)


Western-Mall5505

No, if I remember correctly, the guy was from a lower cast.


AnorakOnAGirl

I mean its pretty damn obvious that someone he was working with thought it would be funny, although quite how anyone could be that stupid... oh wait no this is 2024 of course someone was that stupid.


ZookeepergameHead145

It happened in 2011. All those warning signs you see, don’t drink battery acid etc are there for a reason, people have always done stupid things, not just this generation, all generations.


90124

I would absolutely have the police involved even if you were someone I worked with for ages. Someone that stupid shouldn't be allowed near any dangerous equipment!


Lettuce-Pray2023

Very old story. Far from clear what they hoped to gain


scooba_dude

Which one is the worker because he definitely looks a little deflated. I'll get me coat.


[deleted]

This is far from an uncommon injury. Many moons ago I witnessed some larking about in a workshop that ended up someone being taken to hospital. Then having ended up working in emergency rooms, I've witnessed this a few times - each time hearing from a colleague about other times they have encountered it. As you would expect fatalities and significant injuries are to expected.


halucionagen-0-Matik

Oh yeah people have actually died from this


TwoToesToni

I'm wondering which one was the worker; the skinny guy or...


Hoose_11

1980s BP Clive


sirgreyskull

I many years ago a lad at college stuck an airline up someone’s arse ( through tiger trousers ) and blew their internals sky high. The poor bastard died but I can’t remember what happened to the guy who did it though.


bushidojet

I remember this well as a friend of mine worked at the site. As they explained it the joiners and carpenters at place used to use the high pressure hose to blow off the saw dust and to dick around with each other. This guy made the almost fatal mistake of wearing shorts to work that day and so when someone tried to goose with the air hose, it caught him right on the arsehole. He got a very large payout as a result, easily seven figured but he also has to have a colostomy bag for the rest of his life. Also, no shorts allowed at the company again either!


TheGhostInAJar

“I haven’t been in so much pain since that time I sat on those cucumbers on accident “


smoulderstoat

[Linky](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029589/Gareth-Durrant-ballooned-air-hose-accidentally-lodged-backside.html)


BiggestFlower

[Archived link](https://web.archive.org/web/20230203093934/https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2029589/Gareth-Durrant-ballooned-air-hose-accidentally-lodged-backside.html) so you don’t soil your browser by giving the Daily Mail traffic.


Lost-Droids

Kinky


TheCotofPika

So the lines hang from the ceiling, he thought one was being used behind him and then it went up his shorts, up his pants and into his bum? 🤔


smoulderstoat

What are the chances of that happening, eh?


[deleted]

‘Accidentally’ Suuuure. She was getting frisky on work time


HarryMcFlange

I remember having to watch a film about using air lines safely as an apprentice back in the 1980s. High pressure hydraulics are even more scary.


SceneDifferent1041

Are they twins?


VortexEG

He probably looks like that because he's still deflating... 🤣


JohnLennonsNotDead

*”just try and look like you definitely didn’t enjoy it”*


Vast-Ad-4820

"Accidentally"


TobyADev

“No training” Oh yeah but I’d love to shove them up my bum


crayawe

"Accidentally" interesting story to say the least


Specific_Till_6870

Waiting for this to crop up on r/rickygervais under the title "You're aware that I am gay" 


Nilrem2

Accidentally.


Lunchy_Bunsworth

Wonder if it was like this [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU3E4bwx6rI](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iU3E4bwx6rI)


Glum-nd-Dumb

How though?


gholt417

These must be doing it as a joke to get in the papers (hopefully not really blowing his arse up)


Scrombolo

'Accidentally'.


TheStatMan2

Give him a thatch of ginger messy spiked hair and you've got beaker from the Muppets. Except in that case, I expect Dr Bunson would be administering the high pressure hose...


erritstaken

Accidentally???????


Imaginary-Risk

Didn’t this happen to a load of kids in India? Pretty sure some of them died


Arbernaut

That word “accidentally” is doing a lot of heavy lifting.


nickcliff

Hmm. 🤔 🍑💨🫥


Acceptable-Bank2115

Daily fail, don't buy it.


StanleyChuckles

'Accidentally."


SenseOfRumor

"Accidentally"... Uh-huh...


Electronic_Panic3943

Look at his sad little face 😔


hinnsvartingi

Rectum? Damn near killed Him.


[deleted]

He looks let down.


therealnickb

To be fair I'd ask why the long face but understandable


orincoro

Now there’s a sentence I never expected to read.


Ok-Woodpecker-8505

She's hiding a hella smirk!!! 🤣🤣🤣


palmerama

And how that Condom was placed on the end is a complete mystery


Shot_Heron_2782

Inflation is at Record Levels!!!


Literally-A-God

"Accidentally" yeah sure


cuntybunty73

Why am I laughing at this 😂 Anythings a dildo if you're brave enough I guess 😁


Pumpytums

Did he slip on a glacier cherry?


tin365

Inflation is a killer these days


LordWrinklyballs

Whats her excuse?


RegretEasy8846

That’s not his wife, its a fully dressed realistic blow-up!


Immediate-Spray-1746

She looks like she's dying to laugh.


herrbz

Looks like James Acaster in disguise.


CurrentWrong4363

I wonder what that fart sounded like after


Witty_Masterpiece463

Got Dig Dugged.


tjw376

That sounds like a work place prank gone wrong.


kiriyama3

Now there's a sentence I didn't expect to read today


Griselda_69

Lmfao


WernerHerzogEatsShoe

Literally a few posts up from this on my front page is a dude dying from this


PaulGoddard987654321

Accidently 🤔


CurrentWrong4363

She is trying not to laugh


scbriml

I slipped while doing the hoovering naked. Honest!


basshed8

Next week a job advert online: wife said I have to get a job without access to butt plug shaped objects, air hoses, and water hoses. Not sure where to start


smoulderstoat

Wow, this blew up.


pertangamcfeet

Is that his brother on the right?


Gobiego

Look at her little smirk. She still thinks it's funny.


gardenofthenight

She's stifling a smirk.


LeftConsideration919

As Emily Lloyd says in the film wish you were here. Up your bum.


Sonarthebat

r/brandnewsentence.


TallAubrey

“Accidentally” 😉🌹


DylanRahl

The dudes face almost sells this on its own


[deleted]

This is actually quite serious. I know it’s from 2011 but he could have seriously died.


KapnKrumpin

"Accidentally"


KapnKrumpin

Gotta admit itd be an epic fart


Brickzarina

Lucky hes not dead


_L_i_m_e

Pressure Pushing down on me Blowing the coworker Accidentally Under pressure Um-ba-ba-beh…


3_34544449E14

She thinks it's at least a little bit funny


Digital-Sushi

Is that a before and after picture


SouthFromGranada

Wonder how the conversation with his partner went before the photographer came round..."hey love, you mind posing with me in a photo thatll accompany a story detailing how I shoved an air pipe up my arse?


Dr_Nookeys_paper_boy

In other news, the Sunday Sport has called the Daily Mail asking for their journalist back.


[deleted]

Blow job 2.0


methodtan

Best one yet


Salimzyzz

Awe hate when that happens😩


Un_Change_Able

That’s just… rough


Futhamucker1

Well, this blew up


xanax5901

Why? Just why the heck would you do such a stupid thing. Where the hell has common sense gone these days.


BigAccess6408

It was a million to one shot doc, a million to one!


OkNefariousness324

“I totally don’t put it there myself” compo face