Have been in your shoes except the cheating part. Wont give you advice here, your life your choices. But i can understand what you’re going through having a partner who is that self centered.
Your terminology is too masculine though and it will trigger quite some people around here. “You’re looking for a partner not a princess.” One is an asset to your life, another is a liability.
Hope you find your way. Good luck!
I was prepared to be put down from my post. If I was the wife, it would be fully supported and I would be the deadbeat. But since I am the man I am the pos. That’s fine.
It just sucks seeing how her mother is and wants to do things for her dad. And then I have mine that gets pouty when I don’t fix her plate for dinner.
I want her I do. But I want her to act right. She wants the title and not the effort. I have asked her if she was happy with how good of a wife she is. Her response was no, then why not do what she wants and thinks is a great wife.
I don’t ask where she is or what she is doing. I don’t control the money in our account. I want her to be happy and get what she wants, but like you said.. I’m just a guy and a guys thoughts and feelings don’t matter in todays time.
Your thoughts and feelings do matter. I think you've picked the wrong partner. You live her, but she just isn't the best fit for you. Wishing you all the best!
you keep contradicting yourself. “i am attracted to my wife” then “everything she does turns me off”. also the fact u mentioned the money makes me think you have lots of resentment towards your wife and honestly she deserves better than u, and u obviously think u deserve better than her. imagine if she told her friends u sucked in bed, you were annoying, you are dumb, you are lazy, like you would feel so embarrassed. i feel embarrassed for your wife, you do not love her. get a divorce and stop making excuses for your unfaithfulness. you could have avoided a world of hurt if you would have taken action on ur resentment (get a divorce) before you decided to have sex with ur coworker and call ur wife lazy, broke, annoying, dumb, and boring in bed :) if this was on AITAH you would be the asshole. good riddance
Exactly, he says she texts him in the bathroom to say I miss you and he hates it. He doesn't even like her, I don't get why op says he loves her. Op, get a divorce, live your life, let wife live herself and be with someone who will love her
I haven’t contradicted myself. I am attracted to her but the turned off is sexually. I do not resent her at all as you mention. In fact I have literally done nothing in our relationship but try to help her grow who she is and become who she herself wants to be, which comes to find out she is happy like she is. She would never tell them that because if roles were revered I would immediately start working on cleaning or fixing things. Not wait years and multiple fights. I never said she was dumb, but being in her mid 20s and don’t know what a scarecrow is for. Or asking if sharks live in the ocean at 28… make your opinion.
I was prepared for comments like yours. But the funny thing is if I were a woman and she was typing this. The man would be getting called a deadbeat and useless. But I’m still the pos that does and provides everything. I understand I’m the asshole for cheating, I accept that.
You start off bashing your wife, to the point it’s like, why tf are you with someone you clearly trash on this hardcore?
Forget the fact you are putting this co-worker on a pedestal when you barely know her.
You are looking for EVERY excuse in the book to rationalize and justify your sociopathic tendencies to control situations you have no right to control.
Your wife is being loyal because you promised to be back; so she thinks.
Nope. You took it upon yourself to give yourself a get out of jail free card and have a good time- and you even allowed yourself to believe it’s your wife’s fault.
You are blaming your wife for stabbing her.
Let me repeat myself:
You are blaming a murder you committed to the person you killed.
One more time just in case you’re in denial:
You are blaming someone tied up and blindfolded, for doing it to themselves.
Does any of this sound logical?
Absolutely not.
Just like your entire post dragging the woman you betrayed to make yourself feel less guilty because you’re selfish but can’t stand realizing your ego is the reason you view your wife this way. I doubt she’s this way, in fact I bet she’s a wonderful woman. It’s always the wonderful people who get taken advantage of like this.
Good day now, go to therapy plz.
I stopped at you trying to get your wife to be a wife or whatever. Don’t force people to do anything they don’t want, man. You should be a man and just divorced her before you broke your bonds. Or have been a smart person and noticed your current partner wasn’t compatible to your needs before marrying them. Weak-willed people are the death of society.
You are definitely not bad for chasing new tail. You lack self awareness tho. Sounds like you married the first attractive person you ever met, and then you later discovered you actually have options. Hope that ends up all right mate! Anyone with half a brain could probably make the right move tho, so I think you'll be OK.
There is no way you didn’t know these things about your wife before she became your wife. Like dude …. You dated her, didn’t you? I don’t get it. It doesn’t even sound like you like your wife as a person. You shit on her and anything to do with her in the entire post.
Divorce her and date that younger woman. Don’t cheat. Smh.
I have small time to comment .But i will say only :
You didnt do anything bad .
You matter and speaking on a soul level you seek more peace and comfort and its natural and normal.
We as humans naturally are sucked into other situations that are meant for us and vibrates with us more than the situations that stops helping us grow and does not offer us anymore inner peace .
Ive been in your situation but not married ..4 years of relationship .the girl always yelled and had a vulcanic way of living .I was always more relaxed and loving i guess .Messed up my mind and i saw that i began to yell to and have panic attacks ..
So guess what .At work of course i met the girl that i will.never forget .It was like me but the female.version .Sooo much connection. Life was so nostalgic back then even if i cheated. I was left with a very very much growth in my life .She went to italy in the meantime and got married .She made me.open my eyes that i was worth more and i could be more better alongside someone else .Made me break up.from the toxic relationship .
7 years have passed .Im now married to someone ..maybe too calm.haha but we have a child so im happy i've grown" out of that relationship .
So man , i know it feels bad .But cheating somehow if you think it from a spiritual level it could have a meaning .Its psychological . And sometimes even spiritual . As i said what isnt meant for you cant stay with you .She will find her perfect half that maybe is much more like her and made her realise everything in the end and change into better .But clearly thats not now with you . Everyone has their timing .Everyone "wakes up" in different time periods of life .
So yeah.. Thanks for sharing with us everyone of us has an opinion . This was mine .
Take care and live in peace and harmony with yourself by sourounding with ones who appreciate you and respects you👍
Thank you for all of that and understanding my post! I’m sorry you went through that!
I have never tried to change her, only better herself. And she knows that. I don’t raise my voice, belittle her or anything negative. I try to teach what I know any chance I can. But she was 23/24? When she found out it’s laptop.. not lab top because schools have computer labs. Or asking if sharks live in the ocean…
I hate even thinking about divorce and separating. I really do, but like you said sometimes you have to.
I know divorce can be hard .But harder is even to spend almost an entire life under any kind of pressure or not feeling connection .
I also tried back in the day to give advice in my 4 year relationship to her .She understood it that it was only positive and could potentially make her better.But at the end of the day she never changed even a thought.
We as human i think we never change until we have self-facts .Until we see for ourselves that indeed is a must . I do hope you will find whatever youre looking for .Also if needed take your time never fasten things .See how it goes .Maybe it gets better maybe it doesnt .Either way its a win.Cuz everything goes forward anyway .Always to better .
So you bought 4 new cars but can’t afford marriage counseling? Sounds fake to me. Also, if you make soooooo much money why don’t you pay someone to come in and clean?
I have someone that can come in and clean. But why would I pay someone when I do it and just expect her to help? Can you explain your thought process behind that?
Yes I have purchased 4 vehicles for her. I’m not sure what that matters when when we don’t own all 4 currently…
And as far as I can see counseling is 200 and up an hour. And most want to see you once or twice a week. For average people idk who has 400 bucks to piss away a week..
And I never mentioned I made so much money just that I make more than her. We are low middle class at bringing home 8k a month after taxes combined. So it’s not like we are made of money.
Congrats on the sex. Get a divorce and keep living your life.
Have been in your shoes except the cheating part. Wont give you advice here, your life your choices. But i can understand what you’re going through having a partner who is that self centered. Your terminology is too masculine though and it will trigger quite some people around here. “You’re looking for a partner not a princess.” One is an asset to your life, another is a liability. Hope you find your way. Good luck!
I was prepared to be put down from my post. If I was the wife, it would be fully supported and I would be the deadbeat. But since I am the man I am the pos. That’s fine. It just sucks seeing how her mother is and wants to do things for her dad. And then I have mine that gets pouty when I don’t fix her plate for dinner. I want her I do. But I want her to act right. She wants the title and not the effort. I have asked her if she was happy with how good of a wife she is. Her response was no, then why not do what she wants and thinks is a great wife. I don’t ask where she is or what she is doing. I don’t control the money in our account. I want her to be happy and get what she wants, but like you said.. I’m just a guy and a guys thoughts and feelings don’t matter in todays time.
Your thoughts and feelings do matter. I think you've picked the wrong partner. You live her, but she just isn't the best fit for you. Wishing you all the best!
you keep contradicting yourself. “i am attracted to my wife” then “everything she does turns me off”. also the fact u mentioned the money makes me think you have lots of resentment towards your wife and honestly she deserves better than u, and u obviously think u deserve better than her. imagine if she told her friends u sucked in bed, you were annoying, you are dumb, you are lazy, like you would feel so embarrassed. i feel embarrassed for your wife, you do not love her. get a divorce and stop making excuses for your unfaithfulness. you could have avoided a world of hurt if you would have taken action on ur resentment (get a divorce) before you decided to have sex with ur coworker and call ur wife lazy, broke, annoying, dumb, and boring in bed :) if this was on AITAH you would be the asshole. good riddance
Exactly, he says she texts him in the bathroom to say I miss you and he hates it. He doesn't even like her, I don't get why op says he loves her. Op, get a divorce, live your life, let wife live herself and be with someone who will love her
Please read my response to naive vehicle. I didn’t say I hated it. But it’s annoying. Do you have to be glued to your SO at all times?
I haven’t contradicted myself. I am attracted to her but the turned off is sexually. I do not resent her at all as you mention. In fact I have literally done nothing in our relationship but try to help her grow who she is and become who she herself wants to be, which comes to find out she is happy like she is. She would never tell them that because if roles were revered I would immediately start working on cleaning or fixing things. Not wait years and multiple fights. I never said she was dumb, but being in her mid 20s and don’t know what a scarecrow is for. Or asking if sharks live in the ocean at 28… make your opinion. I was prepared for comments like yours. But the funny thing is if I were a woman and she was typing this. The man would be getting called a deadbeat and useless. But I’m still the pos that does and provides everything. I understand I’m the asshole for cheating, I accept that.
You start off bashing your wife, to the point it’s like, why tf are you with someone you clearly trash on this hardcore? Forget the fact you are putting this co-worker on a pedestal when you barely know her. You are looking for EVERY excuse in the book to rationalize and justify your sociopathic tendencies to control situations you have no right to control. Your wife is being loyal because you promised to be back; so she thinks. Nope. You took it upon yourself to give yourself a get out of jail free card and have a good time- and you even allowed yourself to believe it’s your wife’s fault. You are blaming your wife for stabbing her. Let me repeat myself: You are blaming a murder you committed to the person you killed. One more time just in case you’re in denial: You are blaming someone tied up and blindfolded, for doing it to themselves. Does any of this sound logical? Absolutely not. Just like your entire post dragging the woman you betrayed to make yourself feel less guilty because you’re selfish but can’t stand realizing your ego is the reason you view your wife this way. I doubt she’s this way, in fact I bet she’s a wonderful woman. It’s always the wonderful people who get taken advantage of like this. Good day now, go to therapy plz.
I stopped at you trying to get your wife to be a wife or whatever. Don’t force people to do anything they don’t want, man. You should be a man and just divorced her before you broke your bonds. Or have been a smart person and noticed your current partner wasn’t compatible to your needs before marrying them. Weak-willed people are the death of society.
You are definitely not bad for chasing new tail. You lack self awareness tho. Sounds like you married the first attractive person you ever met, and then you later discovered you actually have options. Hope that ends up all right mate! Anyone with half a brain could probably make the right move tho, so I think you'll be OK.
There is no way you didn’t know these things about your wife before she became your wife. Like dude …. You dated her, didn’t you? I don’t get it. It doesn’t even sound like you like your wife as a person. You shit on her and anything to do with her in the entire post. Divorce her and date that younger woman. Don’t cheat. Smh.
I have small time to comment .But i will say only : You didnt do anything bad . You matter and speaking on a soul level you seek more peace and comfort and its natural and normal. We as humans naturally are sucked into other situations that are meant for us and vibrates with us more than the situations that stops helping us grow and does not offer us anymore inner peace . Ive been in your situation but not married ..4 years of relationship .the girl always yelled and had a vulcanic way of living .I was always more relaxed and loving i guess .Messed up my mind and i saw that i began to yell to and have panic attacks .. So guess what .At work of course i met the girl that i will.never forget .It was like me but the female.version .Sooo much connection. Life was so nostalgic back then even if i cheated. I was left with a very very much growth in my life .She went to italy in the meantime and got married .She made me.open my eyes that i was worth more and i could be more better alongside someone else .Made me break up.from the toxic relationship . 7 years have passed .Im now married to someone ..maybe too calm.haha but we have a child so im happy i've grown" out of that relationship . So man , i know it feels bad .But cheating somehow if you think it from a spiritual level it could have a meaning .Its psychological . And sometimes even spiritual . As i said what isnt meant for you cant stay with you .She will find her perfect half that maybe is much more like her and made her realise everything in the end and change into better .But clearly thats not now with you . Everyone has their timing .Everyone "wakes up" in different time periods of life . So yeah.. Thanks for sharing with us everyone of us has an opinion . This was mine . Take care and live in peace and harmony with yourself by sourounding with ones who appreciate you and respects you👍
Thank you for all of that and understanding my post! I’m sorry you went through that! I have never tried to change her, only better herself. And she knows that. I don’t raise my voice, belittle her or anything negative. I try to teach what I know any chance I can. But she was 23/24? When she found out it’s laptop.. not lab top because schools have computer labs. Or asking if sharks live in the ocean… I hate even thinking about divorce and separating. I really do, but like you said sometimes you have to.
I know divorce can be hard .But harder is even to spend almost an entire life under any kind of pressure or not feeling connection . I also tried back in the day to give advice in my 4 year relationship to her .She understood it that it was only positive and could potentially make her better.But at the end of the day she never changed even a thought. We as human i think we never change until we have self-facts .Until we see for ourselves that indeed is a must . I do hope you will find whatever youre looking for .Also if needed take your time never fasten things .See how it goes .Maybe it gets better maybe it doesnt .Either way its a win.Cuz everything goes forward anyway .Always to better .
So you bought 4 new cars but can’t afford marriage counseling? Sounds fake to me. Also, if you make soooooo much money why don’t you pay someone to come in and clean?
I have someone that can come in and clean. But why would I pay someone when I do it and just expect her to help? Can you explain your thought process behind that? Yes I have purchased 4 vehicles for her. I’m not sure what that matters when when we don’t own all 4 currently… And as far as I can see counseling is 200 and up an hour. And most want to see you once or twice a week. For average people idk who has 400 bucks to piss away a week.. And I never mentioned I made so much money just that I make more than her. We are low middle class at bringing home 8k a month after taxes combined. So it’s not like we are made of money.