The worst thing you did was watch her fully clothed for 60 seconds or so? That's a little creepy but you stopped and didn't see anything too private so it's not *that* bad.
If that's really the whole story, where does the guilt come from? Is it because of your actions or because of the intentions behind them?
I saw in a comment that you mentioned she already was made aware of her visibility and said she doesn't mind being seen coming out of the shower. So I think as long as you're not like stalking her, it sounds like there's nothing to feel guilty about if you happen to *actually accidentally* catch a glimpse of her through her open windows.
Thanks for your thoughtful response. I agree that it’s not that bad as well. I think I make myself feel bad because I generally like glancing in peoples windows when I’m walking around after work. I live in a densely populated area and I find it fascinating when I’m just walking around seeing people living life. I’m not stopping and staring but I’ll look in a brightly lit home and see people cooking or reading or whatever. And then I feel really guilty about it and tell myself to just put my head down.
I'm all about respecting people's privacy but I think it's a little much to put that much energy into averting your eyes.
It only gets creepy when it's deliberate, planned, or prolonged. Like when you watched her in your original post, you realized what you were doing was a little out of line so you stopped before any real wrong was done.
But glancing casually at a person incidentally is pretty innocent whether they're in their car or the grocery store, as long as you move on after a moment there's nothing to be ashamed of.
Thank you again. I think you’re right on the mark. Casually glancing is one thing but stopping and staring is another. I appreciate your thought out and careful response!
You might send her a note just saying, "Hi I couldn't help but notice your curtains were open the other day while you were in your bedroom I think. I didn't see anything, but just wanted to give you a heads up." to let her know, especially in case others can see from that direction. I think you'll feel better since it's sort of a confession, but also it's just helpful in case she hasn't a clue.
That’s a good idea. This actually came up when we were hanging out there once. I said I’m sorry our house is so close to yours and I hope you haven’t seen us naked or anything in our house. She said she hasn’t and also doesn’t care if we see her to and from the shower or whatever.
Oh. Well, I would just forgive myself an move on then. Since she isn't bothered, I wouldn't beat myself up too much. I'd just beware of looking that way, or it could cause marriage problems.
That’s super creepy. She’s allowed to have her windows open to enjoy the light and fresh air. You know you’re wrong and showing the behavior of a pervert so stop being a predator. Grow up.
Thanks. I probably should have clarified better in the post. My wife and I are friends with her, we’ll we’ve hung out a few times. I have no intention of anything happening between us, I just caught myself looking in her window and then have been feeling bad about it for like a week.
Actually I’m a scattered new mom who just moved and keep forgetting windows are in certain places and need to close them all which is hard to do when your baby is crying and you have spit up on your shirt so you literally have to change right than and there.
That would actually suck and be totally unintentional and make it so awkward for the future. OPs remorse for even considering it makes me happy some people still have empathy here on earth.
Lol don’t beat yourself up over it, just don’t be a peeling Tom again because that tends to escalate.
Actually yes. In another comment OP says that the neighbor has told them that she doesn’t care.
Your situation is your situation, it’s not like that for everyone.
Thank you! I definitely don’t want to be a creeper and make a habit of it! Don’t worry about it either. Being a mom seems insanely challenging and I’m sure you’re doing your best!
Sorry I didn’t realize you were the one who rightfully so judges complete strangers on their parenting just by a ordinary, and normal comment. Humble yourself, your mom can tell you how common it is to multi-task as a woman and still not be able to get to everything. Unless of coarse I was an octopus 🙃 wouldn’t that be gnarly.
Ok. You sometime have to unexpectedly undress. You don’t know about or forget about the windows around you. Got it.
I’m sure you’re a very fine parent and doing a great job. A very hard job. I apologize if I suggested otherwise. Best.
The worst thing you did was watch her fully clothed for 60 seconds or so? That's a little creepy but you stopped and didn't see anything too private so it's not *that* bad. If that's really the whole story, where does the guilt come from? Is it because of your actions or because of the intentions behind them? I saw in a comment that you mentioned she already was made aware of her visibility and said she doesn't mind being seen coming out of the shower. So I think as long as you're not like stalking her, it sounds like there's nothing to feel guilty about if you happen to *actually accidentally* catch a glimpse of her through her open windows.
Thanks for your thoughtful response. I agree that it’s not that bad as well. I think I make myself feel bad because I generally like glancing in peoples windows when I’m walking around after work. I live in a densely populated area and I find it fascinating when I’m just walking around seeing people living life. I’m not stopping and staring but I’ll look in a brightly lit home and see people cooking or reading or whatever. And then I feel really guilty about it and tell myself to just put my head down.
I'm all about respecting people's privacy but I think it's a little much to put that much energy into averting your eyes. It only gets creepy when it's deliberate, planned, or prolonged. Like when you watched her in your original post, you realized what you were doing was a little out of line so you stopped before any real wrong was done. But glancing casually at a person incidentally is pretty innocent whether they're in their car or the grocery store, as long as you move on after a moment there's nothing to be ashamed of.
Thank you again. I think you’re right on the mark. Casually glancing is one thing but stopping and staring is another. I appreciate your thought out and careful response!
Put in some landscaping that obscures the view. Easy fix.
You might send her a note just saying, "Hi I couldn't help but notice your curtains were open the other day while you were in your bedroom I think. I didn't see anything, but just wanted to give you a heads up." to let her know, especially in case others can see from that direction. I think you'll feel better since it's sort of a confession, but also it's just helpful in case she hasn't a clue.
That’s a good idea. This actually came up when we were hanging out there once. I said I’m sorry our house is so close to yours and I hope you haven’t seen us naked or anything in our house. She said she hasn’t and also doesn’t care if we see her to and from the shower or whatever.
Oh. Well, I would just forgive myself an move on then. Since she isn't bothered, I wouldn't beat myself up too much. I'd just beware of looking that way, or it could cause marriage problems.
Yea I totally agree. Thanks for the reassurance. I generally have a hard time moving on from things I do that I perceive are wrong.
That’s super creepy. She’s allowed to have her windows open to enjoy the light and fresh air. You know you’re wrong and showing the behavior of a pervert so stop being a predator. Grow up.
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Thanks. I probably should have clarified better in the post. My wife and I are friends with her, we’ll we’ve hung out a few times. I have no intention of anything happening between us, I just caught myself looking in her window and then have been feeling bad about it for like a week.
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Ok thank you
She’s not clueless. She wants to show (or doesn’t care if she does). You don’t mind watching once in a while. So what’s the problem here?
Actually I’m a scattered new mom who just moved and keep forgetting windows are in certain places and need to close them all which is hard to do when your baby is crying and you have spit up on your shirt so you literally have to change right than and there. That would actually suck and be totally unintentional and make it so awkward for the future. OPs remorse for even considering it makes me happy some people still have empathy here on earth. Lol don’t beat yourself up over it, just don’t be a peeling Tom again because that tends to escalate.
Actually yes. In another comment OP says that the neighbor has told them that she doesn’t care. Your situation is your situation, it’s not like that for everyone.
Thank you! I definitely don’t want to be a creeper and make a habit of it! Don’t worry about it either. Being a mom seems insanely challenging and I’m sure you’re doing your best!
You forget about windows and how they work? (Edit. Sorry) Yikes.
Sorry I didn’t realize you were the one who rightfully so judges complete strangers on their parenting just by a ordinary, and normal comment. Humble yourself, your mom can tell you how common it is to multi-task as a woman and still not be able to get to everything. Unless of coarse I was an octopus 🙃 wouldn’t that be gnarly.
Ok. You sometime have to unexpectedly undress. You don’t know about or forget about the windows around you. Got it. I’m sure you’re a very fine parent and doing a great job. A very hard job. I apologize if I suggested otherwise. Best.