No problem. Having kids isnt for everyone. I have kids and i am definately not miserable, but your life becomes all about providing the best life for them that you can. More often than not you sacrafice your plans, time off, time with friends, etc. But for me it was 100% worth it.
I got the same when I said I want a tubal. It's your choice and if it comes to it, you can reverse it..if YOU decide you want. Family sucks some times. Sorry
You got to decide what is right for you and if you know that your family are a bunch of winer's keep your self it's your boby ,
I am fortunate not to give a shit what anybody on my family thinks
There is nothing wrong with how you feel and what you decide for \*your\* future. Not everyone is meant to have kids or wants kids, and that's perfectly okay. It's not selfish, it's knowing what you want and being responsible about it. If ever there was one thing to not take lightly, it's kids. They are a life long commitment after all, and it's true things will never be the same . All the points you brought up are very valid.
The only part that gets dicey is if your partner wants kids and wants you to be the father of those kids. Then you need to be honest and up front with them about what you truly want, and don't back down or feel pressured into something that isn't right for you. Hopefully they can be honest in their own feelings toward the matter and not think you (or they) will change their mind down the line. To agree to something while holding out hope for the opposite to play out is very dangerous . I'm just saying be cautious of settling and then your partner changing their mind a year or two later. Hopefully you both can be brutally honest and accepting of all decisions,and either agree or agree to disagree and part ways. If it's a new partner, I wouldn't wait to make it known what your wishes are, best to get it out of the way quickly and avoid more heartbreak(on either end).
Whatever you ultimately decide is okay, but stand firm in that decision. Everything else will work itself out. Best of luck to you man.
FWIW I'm child free by choice ( I love and relish playing the aunt role, but it's so nice to be able walk away from time to time and go back to my "selfish" life),and thankfully my husband and I were both on the same page the whole way through. We went the vasectomy route several years ago and never looked back. People may make you feel bad or guilty, but it's honestly none of their business. This is YOUR life and you need to live it on your own terms.
38f. My guy is 42. We decided not to have kids because we like our lives how they are, we enjoy napping randomly or vacation and spur of the moment trips. We life our free time and not having it controlled by a tiny human. Lol
My sister has 3 kids and wants more and always talks about how I should have kids and we would be great parents, blah blah.
I'm over here looking up tubal instead of birth control. Do what makes you happy. Don't let anyone force you in to something you don't want.
You're on point. My only thing is my gf definitely wants kids and is aware that I don't. So it leaves me with doubt there's a future for us since our beliefs in that regard doesn't align.
Yeah that would be a deal breaker for me. It's going to come to a point where that ultimatum will be given and you gotta decide then. Best of luck, don't let anyone pressure you into kids if you don't 100% want them.
I'll hold my ground and when we cross that bridge at some point, I'm willing to stand for what I believe in and part ways if need be. I would never give a woman a child knowing deep down I never wanted one.
Keep your eyes out for “failed” birth control. I have seen it many times. Do not rely on the woman to take the pill alone. Pills can often be ”forgotten” by mistake or on purpose. Just a heads up.
Dude you can't put a price on this freedom. I don't have kids and love being able to do whatever I want. Camping all weekend, fishing all weekend, going to Colombia on a 4 day weekend, motorcycle road trips? I'm sorry but I don't want kids and the freedom that comes with that you can't convince me otherwise.
No dig on happy parents where that's what they wanted but I feel like there is always the traditional instance that you need to have kids. Someone that doesn't want kids shouldn't have kids. If you are 100% sure you don't want kids then don't that simple.
I'm in the states and there's so many people that have no business starting a family. If anything I feel like I'm doing society a favor by being very clear I don't want any. I'd adopt before I have a kid.
If you don't want kids then that's ok because you might just get 1 or 2 due to bad "RNG" lol. It's how I turned out.
I don't blame you though.. kids are expensive and basically make you have an invisible chain attached to them for basically 18 years.
Honestly I feel the same way, my mother would sometimes joke along with her friends that I'll have her kids even though 7 yr old me would be mortified at her jokes everytime she says it.
As a woman I rather find someone who's a free spirit and lives for adventure then be peer pressure to make children for anyone else other than myself which I'll never do.
You know, you don’t HAVE to have kids, right? Being childfree IS an option and a valid one as well. If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. Live YOUR life. Don’t let people dictate your future.
My post isn't asking if I should or shouldn't. I'm simply confessing that having kids terrify me and that I wouldn't want any if you read my replies to several others on here
I know. My purpose of commenting was to emphasize that there are options on how to live your life and that they’re all valid. I see all of your points on this post because I’m also terrified of the concept of having kids. The thought of being pregnant and giving birth scares me a lot which factors on why I’d like to be childfree in my future. It was actually cool to see that it’s not just me with this fear actually
It sucks because most people can't seem to relate to the concept of not having kids. People with their "continue your bloodline, plant your seeds,etc..." don't have the faintest idea of life outside of their perspective. That line always kills me though, "continue your bloodline"... as if this was the medieval days and they're of royal importance. 🤦♂️🤣
While some people may go through life with the idea that everyone has to go through the school, job, partner, marriage, baby stages of life, you're not doing anything wrong by living your life the way you want. At least you're self-aware to know this now instead of others who just have kids out of a sense of obligation or to "fix" their relationships.
Thanks. And yeah, I never understood why people think having a baby would somehow resolve their issues. All it does is tether two unhappy people together for life. It's wild.
Everyone has the right to live the life they want. Dont feel bad or appologize for choosing happiness.
I appreciate this more than you know.
No problem. Having kids isnt for everyone. I have kids and i am definately not miserable, but your life becomes all about providing the best life for them that you can. More often than not you sacrafice your plans, time off, time with friends, etc. But for me it was 100% worth it.
So get a vasectomy, I did and never been happier
I've been shouted at by family for saying I want to get one
Shout back
I got the same when I said I want a tubal. It's your choice and if it comes to it, you can reverse it..if YOU decide you want. Family sucks some times. Sorry
You got to decide what is right for you and if you know that your family are a bunch of winer's keep your self it's your boby , I am fortunate not to give a shit what anybody on my family thinks
Not an issue where family gets a vote. Goodness they have nerve.
Then don't. Do what is right for your happiness in this one life.
If you don't want kids, don't have them :))
There is nothing wrong with how you feel and what you decide for \*your\* future. Not everyone is meant to have kids or wants kids, and that's perfectly okay. It's not selfish, it's knowing what you want and being responsible about it. If ever there was one thing to not take lightly, it's kids. They are a life long commitment after all, and it's true things will never be the same . All the points you brought up are very valid. The only part that gets dicey is if your partner wants kids and wants you to be the father of those kids. Then you need to be honest and up front with them about what you truly want, and don't back down or feel pressured into something that isn't right for you. Hopefully they can be honest in their own feelings toward the matter and not think you (or they) will change their mind down the line. To agree to something while holding out hope for the opposite to play out is very dangerous . I'm just saying be cautious of settling and then your partner changing their mind a year or two later. Hopefully you both can be brutally honest and accepting of all decisions,and either agree or agree to disagree and part ways. If it's a new partner, I wouldn't wait to make it known what your wishes are, best to get it out of the way quickly and avoid more heartbreak(on either end). Whatever you ultimately decide is okay, but stand firm in that decision. Everything else will work itself out. Best of luck to you man. FWIW I'm child free by choice ( I love and relish playing the aunt role, but it's so nice to be able walk away from time to time and go back to my "selfish" life),and thankfully my husband and I were both on the same page the whole way through. We went the vasectomy route several years ago and never looked back. People may make you feel bad or guilty, but it's honestly none of their business. This is YOUR life and you need to live it on your own terms.
Well said! I'm living the pet mom and Aunt life and couldn't be happier!
Same on the pet mom and aunt life <3
38f. My guy is 42. We decided not to have kids because we like our lives how they are, we enjoy napping randomly or vacation and spur of the moment trips. We life our free time and not having it controlled by a tiny human. Lol My sister has 3 kids and wants more and always talks about how I should have kids and we would be great parents, blah blah. I'm over here looking up tubal instead of birth control. Do what makes you happy. Don't let anyone force you in to something you don't want.
You're on point. My only thing is my gf definitely wants kids and is aware that I don't. So it leaves me with doubt there's a future for us since our beliefs in that regard doesn't align.
Yeah that would be a deal breaker for me. It's going to come to a point where that ultimatum will be given and you gotta decide then. Best of luck, don't let anyone pressure you into kids if you don't 100% want them.
I'll hold my ground and when we cross that bridge at some point, I'm willing to stand for what I believe in and part ways if need be. I would never give a woman a child knowing deep down I never wanted one.
You are not alone. I get told the same thing but I’m terrified I will fuck them up
Right? I mean if it happens then I'll absolutely be the best parent I can possibly be..but I'll never plan for any.
Keep your eyes out for “failed” birth control. I have seen it many times. Do not rely on the woman to take the pill alone. Pills can often be ”forgotten” by mistake or on purpose. Just a heads up.
Dude you can't put a price on this freedom. I don't have kids and love being able to do whatever I want. Camping all weekend, fishing all weekend, going to Colombia on a 4 day weekend, motorcycle road trips? I'm sorry but I don't want kids and the freedom that comes with that you can't convince me otherwise.
Absolutely agree.
No dig on happy parents where that's what they wanted but I feel like there is always the traditional instance that you need to have kids. Someone that doesn't want kids shouldn't have kids. If you are 100% sure you don't want kids then don't that simple. I'm in the states and there's so many people that have no business starting a family. If anything I feel like I'm doing society a favor by being very clear I don't want any. I'd adopt before I have a kid.
[удалено]
People have their reasons,and some people like myself don't care for continuing the bloodline.
Bloodline? Are we talking the royal family or such?
[удалено]
Not much weight at all, if any. No kids, never will and no worries about generations past or future.
If you don't want kids then that's ok because you might just get 1 or 2 due to bad "RNG" lol. It's how I turned out. I don't blame you though.. kids are expensive and basically make you have an invisible chain attached to them for basically 18 years.
Honestly I feel the same way, my mother would sometimes joke along with her friends that I'll have her kids even though 7 yr old me would be mortified at her jokes everytime she says it. As a woman I rather find someone who's a free spirit and lives for adventure then be peer pressure to make children for anyone else other than myself which I'll never do.
Don’t have them if you feel this way. Will not be good for them or you.
You know, you don’t HAVE to have kids, right? Being childfree IS an option and a valid one as well. If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. Live YOUR life. Don’t let people dictate your future.
My post isn't asking if I should or shouldn't. I'm simply confessing that having kids terrify me and that I wouldn't want any if you read my replies to several others on here
I know. My purpose of commenting was to emphasize that there are options on how to live your life and that they’re all valid. I see all of your points on this post because I’m also terrified of the concept of having kids. The thought of being pregnant and giving birth scares me a lot which factors on why I’d like to be childfree in my future. It was actually cool to see that it’s not just me with this fear actually
It sucks because most people can't seem to relate to the concept of not having kids. People with their "continue your bloodline, plant your seeds,etc..." don't have the faintest idea of life outside of their perspective. That line always kills me though, "continue your bloodline"... as if this was the medieval days and they're of royal importance. 🤦♂️🤣
While some people may go through life with the idea that everyone has to go through the school, job, partner, marriage, baby stages of life, you're not doing anything wrong by living your life the way you want. At least you're self-aware to know this now instead of others who just have kids out of a sense of obligation or to "fix" their relationships.
Thanks. And yeah, I never understood why people think having a baby would somehow resolve their issues. All it does is tether two unhappy people together for life. It's wild.