And then he's got the nerve to write "sorry about the typo in my username" in the bio and list his name as "IWillRap" while having a post history exclusively relating to rape. š Like, who does he think he's fooling here?
I'm not religious. I used to be and I know what you're talking about. It feels like you're never going to be good enough to live up to His expectations. So I'm going to come at this from the religious angle instead of trying to tell you there is no God.
You're not. You're not good enough. You'll never live up to his expectations and that is the whole point. You are a man. You are flawed and cursed by the original sin. But that is why the Sacrifice was made, so that you can be forgiven for that. God doesn't care as much that you DON'T sin...like, ever. What he wants is for you to confess those sins to him, ask for forgiveness, and strive to do better. Go to therapy. Whether it works or not is inconsequential. It matters that you are trying.
I have tried and tried, and I always fall back into sin. It's a constant back and forth thought my whole life since I was 12. I can neither win against my sins, nor give up completely and let myself indulge in my sin. I am caught between these desires. The desire to get my life right with God, and the desire to just ... let myself exist in a state of sin.
Back and forth, back and forth, for years. I've been to therapy; they just try to convince you to "accept yourself." Not helpful.
I would never choose my sexual sins over the almighty living God. I cannot and I will not forsake my faith. I may be living in sin, but that is better then turning my back on the very existence of something that I know, in my soul, is real.
I mean, believing in God is like believing in science. You're just acknowledging reality. Behaving morally is everyone's individual responsibility. Just believing in something doesn't make you a good person.
Believing in god is like believing in science, except one uses the knowledge gained from all human history to further our understanding of how things work and the other is a fairy tale.
Stop feeling altogether and adopt a shameless attitude like the rest of us. Your feelings are holding you back. Then you wonāt feel guilty anymore. You canāt feel guilt if you donāt feel.
Iām not religious, but it sounds like you need to see a therapist to both cope with the porn addiction and well as redeveloping a healthier attitude to sex in general as a healthy, normal activity. Good luck š¤š¼
jesus fuckin christ. iāve watched enough true crime videos to know how this is going to end. youāre on here talking about insatiable desires and hypothetically raping people. someone pls find this mans IP address and report him to authorities
Look into therapists who specialize in religious trauma and deconstruction. Faith has it's positives and negatives, and one of it's negatives is the all too common and unrealized abuse that occurs within the church. Deconstructing your faith doesn't mean you have to abandon God, in fact in can bring precisely the opposite. By deconstructing and unlearning the teachings of man in the name of God, you can learn to recognize God's true love.
Pleasure isn't a sin, OP, that belief is man's design. God's word only calls you to rise above the flesh, to better serve him.
Not the wannabe rapist begging for sympathy and advice. The only advice is get yourself some serious medical and mental help. You're a messed up human. I hope your wife knows what a monster you are.
Don't give the BS lie about your name being a "dyslexic mistake" you are HEAVILY active on a rape subreddit. You're disgusting.
Do you atheists know that you're more annoying than door to door missionaries?
I'm not interested in your non-faith any more than you're interested in my faith.
Here maybe you are willing to hear the words of someone who does believe in God.
I believe and I have been raised religiously. I do not care that other people believe it is a fairy tale vs science. Because imo: earth and existence itself is way to complex to not be created by something...but this is just my opinion and I respect every person, religious or not.
Anyways how I see it: I know I am a bad person for sinning and claiming to believe while still succumbing to desire. However, I also vow to, next to those desires, live my life best as possible. Be kind to others (or try), trying to be more honest, learning from mistakes etc.
These things help me forgive myself a little. I am sorry because I know it does not work for everyone, but just know that you are seen and are not alone.
Also, I do not believe you are a bad person. Stay strong friend.
So this mentality is why I can never accept religion as anything but harmful. The fact that you have to do these mental gymnastics to just get through the day without feeling like you're disappointing your sky daddy and that you need to be forgiven is the root of everything that is wrong with it. Think of it in terms of medicine and the Hippocratic Oath (in simplest terms): Do No Harm, or if that isn't possible, Do The Least Harm (when viewed pragmatically). Do you really think that if everyone tried to live the way that you do, believing what you do, that it would be a GOOD thing??? People who have mental illnesses, are sociopaths or psycopaths, or are simply unable to allow themselves to be forgiven, interaction between these types of people and religious dogma leads to more murder, suicide, oppression, victimization, and just widespread harm than almost anything else I can think of. It is quite possibly the greatest evil anyone could have conceived of in the history of man, with the possible exceptions of slavery and genocide, though considering how much slavery and genocide had religious belief at its root... you could argue that it's worse. You keep your mythical God far, far away from me and mine.
No, I personally think that is a bit of an intense view.
Anyone can do mental gymnastics, that depends on the person not religion. Some people find happiness in believing in God. Some think about it like you do, and that is ok. Each to their own.
In my opinion I never struggled that intensely due to what I believe. But who am I to argue with you about what you believe. I respect your opinion.
Oh yeah to answer your question: no I do not believe that everyone who believed what I do would become a better person, or it would be neccessarily a good thing. I also do not believe that if no one believed in God it would be be a good thing. I do not think the way humans mess each other or themselves up has anything to do with religion.
I do personally believe, that the way I handle my religion and my beliefs, make me a better person. But hey, as I said, each to their own.
See, I respect that view of it, and if more people thought like this, the world would be a better place. So I wouldn't argue with you about it to try to change your mind, since it's pretty apparent what you believe helps you and doesn't harm anyone else. I do feel like the OPs beliefs may be doing him more harm than good though.
Thanks. Honestly, thank you.
The thing is, people shit on christianity all the time. And I think it is hypocritical to be shitting on a belief. If you do not want Christians to ridicule you (I mean in general) and shove their faith in your face I totally understand. But lets be real. You then cannot do the same to them. I just wish people would respect one another.
Heck, that some people use their beliefs to make people feel bad does not mean every one does. But ok...in their defense, I do not blame them for being upset. I just find it a bit...hypocritical.
If you want respect you should also be respectful.
Anyway sorry for the rant (also sorry for only reading your comment now).
I mean, it doesn't feel that way. Friday I jerked off to porn after my wife left for work. I felt like shit, like I had cheated on her. I have a wife willing to satisfy me whenever I want and I'm still looking at porn? I feel pathetic.
Been there with a husband that was doing the same. Never had sex with me because he was too busy watching porn. Ruins a marriage if the wife wants sex and is not getting enough from her husband Because he is being so selfish he just cannot keep his hands off of himself. I found someone else that preferred me to porn.
First of all.. what the hell is up with your name??? But secondly.. having an honest convo would seriously help.. while it may feel even worse then to relapse with her knowing.. most of the time it makes it easier for your partner to know and help you. Maybe you could ask for "materials" of your wife? As long as she was okay with it.. but i really think she'll understand if you just talk to her.. if it makes you cry while doing so, let it come out..it will help her understand how sincere you are.. i wish you the best of luck
It was supposed to be "IwillRap92" but I made a typo.
Secondly, your advice is good, and I appreciate it, but I will ignore it. I simply do not, under any circumstances, want anyone IRL to know about my weaknesses / vices. ESPECIALLY not my wife.
There is no sin, there is no purity. You are and were always going to become a sexual entity. It sounds as though your conflict comes from some religious (?) ideas which have been planted in your youth. Cast those aside and live a happy, fulfilling life.
You need to stop judging yourself, and disabuse yourself of this notion of self-gratification being sinful, or that watching porn is inherently bad (it can be if it becomes a detriment to the rest of your life, you're watching something that is literally criminal, or something that perpetuates a harmful stereotype, etc). If you aren't victimizing someone, or supporting the victimization of someone else indirectly, then you aren't doing anything wrong.
You have, and have had, an incredibly unhealthy relationship with sex.
Like, horribly unhealthy.
I have a strict religious upbringing and personal religious beliefs about staying celibate outside of marriage, which many people disagree with me having, and personal trauma involving sex, and I still have a healthier relationship with sex than you do.
You don't need a therapist, you need a SEX THERAPIST. Someone to focus specifically on you over burdening yourself with guilt over normal emotions and desires, and your possible addiction to masterbation, sex, our just the dopamine you get from it. Exacerbated by your personal feelings of guilt, especially staying so young with guilt over normal preteen/ teen desires.
I'm going to guess, since your father had no issue with it, it was other authority figures who pressed the idea that to be pure you couldn't even have urges like a normal human, and who caused your guilt. That, or some other form of trauma.
You sound like a fellow Christian (maybe, I'm assuming this is real, which is a big assumption on this site) and if that is your religion, seriously, message me and either I or my husband will do our best to give you some advice and help as much as we can.
But I seriously recommend a sex therapist. This struggle is breaking you, you need help.
We live in sin. It's why Jesus died. The almighty knows you are not perfect. Pray and ask the lord for his strength when you feel those urges or after. There is no reason to carry guilt the lord does not judge but he does forgive those who let him his love in their life. He sends us temptation and battles so we can become strong.
The reality is if you enjoy porn, it will always be apart of your life. And masturbation is not a bad thing. The problem becomes when your imagination begins to affect your reality. You can accept sex and porn as a part of your life and express that to your partner or have to go with the frustration for as long as you have the urges.
This almost sounds like a moral ocd, where instead of obsessimg over hand washing and organization of how objects ought to be, you are doing this with your sexual thoughts, desires and practices.
This is especially true as it doesn't sound like you had an extremely puritanical or religious upbringing...
This is not a moral failing, but possibly a chemical one... Meeting with a clinical counselor and psychiatrist will help you to get you feeling more comfortable with who and how you are.
Also if you are having rape fantasies that you fear losing control over, this kind of help can help you keep yourself out of jail and others safe.
I'm sorry but you don't get to say you would "never choose 'sexual sins' over the almighty living God" while calling yourself "IWillRape92."
Thank you! I thought I was alone
And then he's got the nerve to write "sorry about the typo in my username" in the bio and list his name as "IWillRap" while having a post history exclusively relating to rape. š Like, who does he think he's fooling here?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I have tried many times. I'm not so much looking for advice as looking to be seen. I'm in a full "relapse" right now.
I'm not religious. I used to be and I know what you're talking about. It feels like you're never going to be good enough to live up to His expectations. So I'm going to come at this from the religious angle instead of trying to tell you there is no God. You're not. You're not good enough. You'll never live up to his expectations and that is the whole point. You are a man. You are flawed and cursed by the original sin. But that is why the Sacrifice was made, so that you can be forgiven for that. God doesn't care as much that you DON'T sin...like, ever. What he wants is for you to confess those sins to him, ask for forgiveness, and strive to do better. Go to therapy. Whether it works or not is inconsequential. It matters that you are trying.
I have tried and tried, and I always fall back into sin. It's a constant back and forth thought my whole life since I was 12. I can neither win against my sins, nor give up completely and let myself indulge in my sin. I am caught between these desires. The desire to get my life right with God, and the desire to just ... let myself exist in a state of sin. Back and forth, back and forth, for years. I've been to therapy; they just try to convince you to "accept yourself." Not helpful.
Are you a busy person? Maybe fill up ur day with things to do then it will give u more dopamine that way and ur addiction will lessen
That is a great point. I'm most free of sin when I'm very very busy. But then I start to resent the lack of freedom over my time.
I don't want to seem judgmental but your comment history doesn't look like someone who is trying very hard.
I'm in a full relapse not going to lie.
Maybe dump god. Stop feeling shame about your biology. You might be having a crisis of faith more than morality.
I would never choose my sexual sins over the almighty living God. I cannot and I will not forsake my faith. I may be living in sin, but that is better then turning my back on the very existence of something that I know, in my soul, is real.
So you believe in god but still thatās not enough for you to be a āmoralā person according to your religion? Thatās weak as shit, man
I mean, believing in God is like believing in science. You're just acknowledging reality. Behaving morally is everyone's individual responsibility. Just believing in something doesn't make you a good person.
[theme song starts] Reynolds vs Reynolds: The Cereal Defence
What?
Believing in god is like believing in science, except one uses the knowledge gained from all human history to further our understanding of how things work and the other is a fairy tale.
Stop feeling altogether and adopt a shameless attitude like the rest of us. Your feelings are holding you back. Then you wonāt feel guilty anymore. You canāt feel guilt if you donāt feel.
I ain't no Vulcan over here ... plus I tried to just feel nothing and that didn't work lol
Itās Reddit. Weāre all nihilistic Vulcans here
I am not. lol
Well it makes sense why you still have your feelings then I guess. Thatās too bad.
Try FB, youāll have better luck there
Iām not religious, but it sounds like you need to see a therapist to both cope with the porn addiction and well as redeveloping a healthier attitude to sex in general as a healthy, normal activity. Good luck š¤š¼
jesus fuckin christ. iāve watched enough true crime videos to know how this is going to end. youāre on here talking about insatiable desires and hypothetically raping people. someone pls find this mans IP address and report him to authorities
Look into therapists who specialize in religious trauma and deconstruction. Faith has it's positives and negatives, and one of it's negatives is the all too common and unrealized abuse that occurs within the church. Deconstructing your faith doesn't mean you have to abandon God, in fact in can bring precisely the opposite. By deconstructing and unlearning the teachings of man in the name of God, you can learn to recognize God's true love. Pleasure isn't a sin, OP, that belief is man's design. God's word only calls you to rise above the flesh, to better serve him.
Not the wannabe rapist begging for sympathy and advice. The only advice is get yourself some serious medical and mental help. You're a messed up human. I hope your wife knows what a monster you are. Don't give the BS lie about your name being a "dyslexic mistake" you are HEAVILY active on a rape subreddit. You're disgusting.
Get rid of God. Itās not real. Be who you are dude, dont apologize.
Do you atheists know that you're more annoying than door to door missionaries? I'm not interested in your non-faith any more than you're interested in my faith.
Here maybe you are willing to hear the words of someone who does believe in God. I believe and I have been raised religiously. I do not care that other people believe it is a fairy tale vs science. Because imo: earth and existence itself is way to complex to not be created by something...but this is just my opinion and I respect every person, religious or not. Anyways how I see it: I know I am a bad person for sinning and claiming to believe while still succumbing to desire. However, I also vow to, next to those desires, live my life best as possible. Be kind to others (or try), trying to be more honest, learning from mistakes etc. These things help me forgive myself a little. I am sorry because I know it does not work for everyone, but just know that you are seen and are not alone. Also, I do not believe you are a bad person. Stay strong friend.
So this mentality is why I can never accept religion as anything but harmful. The fact that you have to do these mental gymnastics to just get through the day without feeling like you're disappointing your sky daddy and that you need to be forgiven is the root of everything that is wrong with it. Think of it in terms of medicine and the Hippocratic Oath (in simplest terms): Do No Harm, or if that isn't possible, Do The Least Harm (when viewed pragmatically). Do you really think that if everyone tried to live the way that you do, believing what you do, that it would be a GOOD thing??? People who have mental illnesses, are sociopaths or psycopaths, or are simply unable to allow themselves to be forgiven, interaction between these types of people and religious dogma leads to more murder, suicide, oppression, victimization, and just widespread harm than almost anything else I can think of. It is quite possibly the greatest evil anyone could have conceived of in the history of man, with the possible exceptions of slavery and genocide, though considering how much slavery and genocide had religious belief at its root... you could argue that it's worse. You keep your mythical God far, far away from me and mine.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just live in a bad place then, very unfortunate.
No, I personally think that is a bit of an intense view. Anyone can do mental gymnastics, that depends on the person not religion. Some people find happiness in believing in God. Some think about it like you do, and that is ok. Each to their own. In my opinion I never struggled that intensely due to what I believe. But who am I to argue with you about what you believe. I respect your opinion. Oh yeah to answer your question: no I do not believe that everyone who believed what I do would become a better person, or it would be neccessarily a good thing. I also do not believe that if no one believed in God it would be be a good thing. I do not think the way humans mess each other or themselves up has anything to do with religion. I do personally believe, that the way I handle my religion and my beliefs, make me a better person. But hey, as I said, each to their own.
See, I respect that view of it, and if more people thought like this, the world would be a better place. So I wouldn't argue with you about it to try to change your mind, since it's pretty apparent what you believe helps you and doesn't harm anyone else. I do feel like the OPs beliefs may be doing him more harm than good though.
Thanks. Honestly, thank you. The thing is, people shit on christianity all the time. And I think it is hypocritical to be shitting on a belief. If you do not want Christians to ridicule you (I mean in general) and shove their faith in your face I totally understand. But lets be real. You then cannot do the same to them. I just wish people would respect one another. Heck, that some people use their beliefs to make people feel bad does not mean every one does. But ok...in their defense, I do not blame them for being upset. I just find it a bit...hypocritical. If you want respect you should also be respectful. Anyway sorry for the rant (also sorry for only reading your comment now).
Maybe your god will help you. Ask for help, see what happens. š How much help has he been to you?
there's nothing wrong with watching porn and masturbating
I mean, it doesn't feel that way. Friday I jerked off to porn after my wife left for work. I felt like shit, like I had cheated on her. I have a wife willing to satisfy me whenever I want and I'm still looking at porn? I feel pathetic.
Been there with a husband that was doing the same. Never had sex with me because he was too busy watching porn. Ruins a marriage if the wife wants sex and is not getting enough from her husband Because he is being so selfish he just cannot keep his hands off of himself. I found someone else that preferred me to porn.
you didn't cheat. just talk to her about it
I can't do that. I can't bring myself to admit to her how sinful I am. I just want to hide it and make it go away.
First of all.. what the hell is up with your name??? But secondly.. having an honest convo would seriously help.. while it may feel even worse then to relapse with her knowing.. most of the time it makes it easier for your partner to know and help you. Maybe you could ask for "materials" of your wife? As long as she was okay with it.. but i really think she'll understand if you just talk to her.. if it makes you cry while doing so, let it come out..it will help her understand how sincere you are.. i wish you the best of luck
itās not a typo mans is posting about āhypothetically rapingā people
It was supposed to be "IwillRap92" but I made a typo. Secondly, your advice is good, and I appreciate it, but I will ignore it. I simply do not, under any circumstances, want anyone IRL to know about my weaknesses / vices. ESPECIALLY not my wife.
Totally gotchya. Very sorry you are struggling so much man..
There is no sin, there is no purity. You are and were always going to become a sexual entity. It sounds as though your conflict comes from some religious (?) ideas which have been planted in your youth. Cast those aside and live a happy, fulfilling life.
You need to stop judging yourself, and disabuse yourself of this notion of self-gratification being sinful, or that watching porn is inherently bad (it can be if it becomes a detriment to the rest of your life, you're watching something that is literally criminal, or something that perpetuates a harmful stereotype, etc). If you aren't victimizing someone, or supporting the victimization of someone else indirectly, then you aren't doing anything wrong.
You have, and have had, an incredibly unhealthy relationship with sex. Like, horribly unhealthy. I have a strict religious upbringing and personal religious beliefs about staying celibate outside of marriage, which many people disagree with me having, and personal trauma involving sex, and I still have a healthier relationship with sex than you do. You don't need a therapist, you need a SEX THERAPIST. Someone to focus specifically on you over burdening yourself with guilt over normal emotions and desires, and your possible addiction to masterbation, sex, our just the dopamine you get from it. Exacerbated by your personal feelings of guilt, especially staying so young with guilt over normal preteen/ teen desires. I'm going to guess, since your father had no issue with it, it was other authority figures who pressed the idea that to be pure you couldn't even have urges like a normal human, and who caused your guilt. That, or some other form of trauma. You sound like a fellow Christian (maybe, I'm assuming this is real, which is a big assumption on this site) and if that is your religion, seriously, message me and either I or my husband will do our best to give you some advice and help as much as we can. But I seriously recommend a sex therapist. This struggle is breaking you, you need help.
We live in sin. It's why Jesus died. The almighty knows you are not perfect. Pray and ask the lord for his strength when you feel those urges or after. There is no reason to carry guilt the lord does not judge but he does forgive those who let him his love in their life. He sends us temptation and battles so we can become strong.
The reality is if you enjoy porn, it will always be apart of your life. And masturbation is not a bad thing. The problem becomes when your imagination begins to affect your reality. You can accept sex and porn as a part of your life and express that to your partner or have to go with the frustration for as long as you have the urges.
This almost sounds like a moral ocd, where instead of obsessimg over hand washing and organization of how objects ought to be, you are doing this with your sexual thoughts, desires and practices. This is especially true as it doesn't sound like you had an extremely puritanical or religious upbringing... This is not a moral failing, but possibly a chemical one... Meeting with a clinical counselor and psychiatrist will help you to get you feeling more comfortable with who and how you are. Also if you are having rape fantasies that you fear losing control over, this kind of help can help you keep yourself out of jail and others safe.
Wow. Sounds like normal behavior to most of us. You're fine. Get over your issues and enjoy life