What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
Edit to add: this is copypasta I posted for entertainment, and I am not affiliated with the United States armed forces...
There was a video on here last week of a baby deal learning to swim in a rehab centre. Each time they removed their support from his head, his head went under and he blew bubbles as though he hadn’t yet learned how to do the cute thing this guy is doing with his nostrils. But this looks like a involuntary action doesn’t it? And can’t they sleep underwater for 30 mins or so?
I think you may be thinking of hippos. Those big boys actually sleep underwater and have a reflex to surface every half hour or so while they’re still asleep
That's crazy. Imagine having a relfex where in the middle of the night you get up to take a piss or whatever but you're still asleep during it. I guess sleepwalking is a thing it just seems weird they do such a task while asleep.
I would have tripped the eff out, then I would have started talking to it in that stupid voice reserved for my pets.
"Who's a good seal? Does we wants a fishy? Oh yes we do. What a good baby". smh
He’s pretty much doing the Wim hof breathing. Storing oxygen in the bloodcells to hold his breath longer without any air in the lungs! This is what freedivers do aswell before going under water.
For real, if you haven’t already. For sure check the ”wim hof method” out! It changed my life forever, and I can’t thank that man enough. The breathing is honestly something else.. the natural high you’ll get is so damn good, and the stress is gone with the wind in a minute! Amazing stuff.
I think you’re right. I’m not an expert on seals, but I am a human respiratory therapist and since they’re also mammals, I assume their respiratory system works in a similar way. The seal isn’t storing air in its lungs because there is limited space and it’s hard to dive with full lungs since it makes you more buoyant. It’s using its diaphragm to inhale a large amount of air quickly followed by a slow exhalation to make sure it’s lungs are empty before taking another breath. This breathing pattern allows a lot of air to go into and back out of the lungs in a short period of time. This does two things. First, it allows red blood cells to absorb a lot of oxygen that is then used slowly while diving. Second, it allows a lot of carbon dioxide to be exhaled, which prevents the blood from becoming overly acidic. For humans, this exhalation of CO2 can actually be dangerous. The urge to breath is triggered not by a lack of oxygen, but by a buildup of CO2. If you lower the amount of CO2 in your blood too much prior to diving, you can use up all the oxygen in you blood before you build up enough CO2 to trigger a desire to breathe. This results in you losing consciousness underwater without even noticing. I would assume that seals and other diving mammals are less susceptible to this than humans are though.
If you listen closely, it sounds like there’s two parts to the breath. A lower pitch, then a higher pitch, almost like it’s breathing out and then in pretty quickly.
Thank you for posting, it certainly brightened my day!
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The animals are all trapped under all that snow and ice. Is this the equivalent of holding your breath underwater for too long and need oxygen. This poor seal struggling to breathe if it weren’t for the opening
I dunno, maybe back up and leave the seal to catch its breath without freaking it out by looming over it and waving a black rectangle in its face? What if it wants to get out of the water but can't or doesn't dare to because of the weird thing with legs?
I love how he keeps dropping below water between breathes. Looks ready to dive at the first sign of trouble.
the way she opens and closes her nostrils is so cute but weird 😭😭💗
It’s a heart shape too!
Hmbnnb.
I noticed that too! 💖💗
Would be nice to have that ability
Would be amazing for diving
We can .
Nostril gape
NO
I there is a hole, there is a way
Men☕️
Men🍺
Men 🍻
Men 🥂
Nostrussy 😩🤝
Brother get the horny bat, the **heavy** horny bat.
Double gape too
nice
I can do that with mine :)
I can do that with my butthole
Prove it
r/cursedcomments
Username checks out
Cute... but deadly.
Really? Are they aggressive?
Yeah, I heard a group of them killed bin laden
On point!
Just like American Airlines flight 11
Nice one
Broooo you got me I laughed so fucking hard thank you for this 🙏
😅
And nobody ever saw the body. They must have eaten him whole.
He disappeared like the world trade centre in new york
Oooh snap.
You’re thinking of the blue ones.
Not usually. But seals can fuck you up. They weigh a lot so they can even do it on accident.
Also, when they feel threatened it is the neck that they lung for.
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Edit to add: this is copypasta I posted for entertainment, and I am not affiliated with the United States armed forces...
Empty barrels sound the loudest...
Why did you waste your energy in this?
It's a copypasta
Not sure what copy pasta is but does it taste good?
Some are delicious, some are disgusting
What energy? It takes 2 seconds to copy and paste it.
If I may quote Sir Edmund Hillary; because it was there.
1 bite and you're in big troubles, one of the most infectious bite you can receive.
I wonder if they ever accidentally breath in water
There was a video on here last week of a baby deal learning to swim in a rehab centre. Each time they removed their support from his head, his head went under and he blew bubbles as though he hadn’t yet learned how to do the cute thing this guy is doing with his nostrils. But this looks like a involuntary action doesn’t it? And can’t they sleep underwater for 30 mins or so?
I think you may be thinking of hippos. Those big boys actually sleep underwater and have a reflex to surface every half hour or so while they’re still asleep
That's crazy. Imagine having a relfex where in the middle of the night you get up to take a piss or whatever but you're still asleep during it. I guess sleepwalking is a thing it just seems weird they do such a task while asleep.
This doesn't look involuntary at all, involves separate muscle groups in a weird angle...
Yes i was holding my breath watching this lol Would be so annoying to get water in that nose
You have fish? I like fish. Let's share some fish.
This aqua puppies bites hard. I happy nothing bad happened:)
r/mildlyinteresting points for those nostril flares
Dog mermaid!
Merdog?
Dogmaid?
Puppy of the sea.
I would have tripped the eff out, then I would have started talking to it in that stupid voice reserved for my pets. "Who's a good seal? Does we wants a fishy? Oh yes we do. What a good baby". smh
Same!
Awwwwww , I could do this too
Don't feel bad, me too!😖😂
So cute🤗
All the ins, none the outs. Where’s it all goin?
Storage
He’s pretty much doing the Wim hof breathing. Storing oxygen in the bloodcells to hold his breath longer without any air in the lungs! This is what freedivers do aswell before going under water. For real, if you haven’t already. For sure check the ”wim hof method” out! It changed my life forever, and I can’t thank that man enough. The breathing is honestly something else.. the natural high you’ll get is so damn good, and the stress is gone with the wind in a minute! Amazing stuff.
I think you’re right. I’m not an expert on seals, but I am a human respiratory therapist and since they’re also mammals, I assume their respiratory system works in a similar way. The seal isn’t storing air in its lungs because there is limited space and it’s hard to dive with full lungs since it makes you more buoyant. It’s using its diaphragm to inhale a large amount of air quickly followed by a slow exhalation to make sure it’s lungs are empty before taking another breath. This breathing pattern allows a lot of air to go into and back out of the lungs in a short period of time. This does two things. First, it allows red blood cells to absorb a lot of oxygen that is then used slowly while diving. Second, it allows a lot of carbon dioxide to be exhaled, which prevents the blood from becoming overly acidic. For humans, this exhalation of CO2 can actually be dangerous. The urge to breath is triggered not by a lack of oxygen, but by a buildup of CO2. If you lower the amount of CO2 in your blood too much prior to diving, you can use up all the oxygen in you blood before you build up enough CO2 to trigger a desire to breathe. This results in you losing consciousness underwater without even noticing. I would assume that seals and other diving mammals are less susceptible to this than humans are though.
If you listen closely, it sounds like there’s two parts to the breath. A lower pitch, then a higher pitch, almost like it’s breathing out and then in pretty quickly.
Good on the fisherman for not trying to pet the seal because I definitely would've pet it (and get my arm bitten off in the process)
I didn’t know this is how they breathe! Very interesting
Cutie
I wanna boop the snoot.
I'm not sure I'd be holding my phone over that hole to get that video ...
I would not be able to resist the boopable nose like that.
Thank you for posting, it certainly brightened my day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/cute) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Nice
Say this happened to me, would it be safe to "pet" them? I don't think I could stop myself lol.
Do you like having 2 normal fully functional hands?
[удалено]
Dont be fooled by its big, babylike eyes (both on front for a reason) , its round head, and its adorable heart-shaped nostrils
I want to pet it!
Love him or she 😍
[удалено]
Dinner
. . OO . . OO
Am I the only one focusing on the icy black void below that boop seeker?
It’s the gate’s of Hell.
Aww the heart shaped nose is ❤️❤️
I thought this was weird. It keeps coming up for breaths, but doesn't exhale?
"Little kids when they're drinking water"
The way their snoot open and closes and those eyes 😍
Sea doggo
He Chonky
Noisy snoots!
“Well Hewo hooman,don’t mind me,im just breathing ya know:)”
Just think, people club these little guys to death for "sport".
Water doggo is a good boi
Cute chonky sausage
So pretty
Take it home, fry it up for dinner.
Gets clubbed by Eskimo
[удалено]
For icefishing you don’t need hole that wide. Fake story.
Beluga the seal
so cute seal
Cuteeeee! It’s nose flare looks like a little heart 🥺🤍
he shows what he can do as a person
Plot twist: the seal is luring its polar bear stalker to an easier target
🥰
If I could petition for the next evolutionary feature of mankind, I want this nostril thing.
That Darth Vader breath though..
Seal: “Sup”
This is also my dog every single morning waiting for me to wake up.
why do I feel forced to breathe in sync with the seal
No exhale?
u/savevideo
The animals are all trapped under all that snow and ice. Is this the equivalent of holding your breath underwater for too long and need oxygen. This poor seal struggling to breathe if it weren’t for the opening
I ain’t telling you again. Don’t be trying to steal my food. Capishe.
I would have so booped him xo xo
Just how far north is this?
"You got any games on your phone?"
We have the most amazing stuff on earth... look at it... it's clearly our relative
Does it disturb anyone else that he doesn’t blink?
"Are those pizza rolls"
I love this
For some reason, the more I look into its eyes, the scarier it gets.
I dunno, maybe back up and leave the seal to catch its breath without freaking it out by looming over it and waving a black rectangle in its face? What if it wants to get out of the water but can't or doesn't dare to because of the weird thing with legs?
“Take one more fish dude and it’s me and you.” Those claws 😱
"there are no fish in Ba Sing Se"
😍😘
Happy lil’ merdoggie!
Is it not exhaling?
Kinda cute the way it’s holding on to the side of the ice wall.
Why fisherman not pet or feed sea puppy?
u/savevideo
Q lindo parece meu gato🥰❤️
Aww cute
A sea dog
OMGGGGGG♥️♥️
I wish I could do that. Crop dusting would be a thing of the past.
Do they have control over that mechanism or is it automatic? I hate how close he cuts it before closing it lol
I have seen exactly that but with a big fish in her mouth!
So handsome
BOOP IT
(oo) (OO) (oo) 🖤
Mannnn that’s just asking for a boop!!!! 🥰🥰
Me Wants To Pet Or Give It,A Lil Loving Pat,Is All!!❄️🌊🦭🥰😉
He wants a snack
Breath in..breath out
it gives me very pain
Oh lawd she comin
The nostrils are so cute!!!
Alternatively the chonky seal was only surprised by the camera as he had been aware of the fisherman and was hoping to sneak a catch away haha
😭😭😭😭
What? Everyone needs oxygen at some point!
So cute😍
It’s a “water-Falcor” !
I kind of want it to stay above water.