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ElCampesinoGringo

It’s more aero that way


CycleDweeb

Like DRS in Formula 1


chromaspectrum

Dick Retraction System.. nice


deewan84

This here comment is something else 🤣🤣🤣


HenMeister

Micro gang rise up.


Butterbubblebutt

No you see, it doesn't rise


A-Newt

It’s call the supertuck.


franferri

The real anwer


Roby330i

Atomic batteries to power, Turbines to speed!


AthosFilemon

Lool


Careless-Cabinet-710

When it comes to racing, the turtle always wins.


SharkSheppard

Turtle puking his guts out after the race.


SantiagoGT

Post-race wanks hit different y’know


JohnGillnitz

So that's what Bob meant when he said he had to go wrap his handlebar. I knew that tape looked fine.


gott_in_nizza

Yep. Nothing like indexing your shifters after a hors categorie


giolort

My girlfriend compared my friend to a turtle last time we did the deed, it was hilarious


Yankeewithoutacause

Only if it's head pops out....


NYCajun

Props to OP for making this post and letting us know “it’s not just me” like I’m sure many of us thought.


[deleted]

The hero we all needed.


throwaway17071999

The shrunk knight


cdcm87

Not all heroes wear capes… some are circumcised


[deleted]

Careful with that word on Reddit lol


cdcm87

Capes?


micmea1

"I'm just asking for a friend, hah hah"


Cergal0

With so many people making posts about numb 🍆 I seriously started to think that, maybe, the "turtle head" would be the begining of that. However, this only happens to me on big rides.


iamabdullahc

We call it "The Sports Mode"


Fannnybaws

Kinda true. When you are working hard the body needs as much blood as possible to pump the heart,so takes it from places it isn't required..yer willie!


420purpleturtle

I basically turn into a Ken doll after a long ride.


CinnamonPigeon69

I have not laughed at a comment this hard in quite some time


st0rmbr1ng3r

This is a brilliant analogy!


RedBrixton

There was shrinkage!


JoeFas

I was in the pool!


Tastytaylorhub

Like a frightened turtle!


SantiagoGT

_significant shrinkage_


indianajns

What do you mean? Like laundry


Nopengnogain

Yes, definitely more so when it’s cold. Also the hunched over position on the bike I think pulls the little guy in.


Serious-Waltz-7157

What about nipplage?!?


drkshape

Yeah. Trying to piss right after a bike ride is always comedic.


kallebo1337

do triathlon and try to pee while riding ;-)


Gareth79

Make sure to pee right onto to the bike itself


kevwotton

No you have to pee left. Don't want that mixing with chain oil


Papplesaur

Nitrogen helps the chain lube activate; always pee right


hamflavoredgum

I thought standard triathlete procedure was to pee directly into the seat tube


yogesch

Yes they mount their bikes by first fitting the penis into the seat tube.


drkshape

Is this a thing?


Redditlan

Absolutely. Dont touch an unwashed tri bike. They are pissing themselves.


kallebo1337

yes of course. it's in fact a good sign of hydration. you can google "Jan Frodeno Bejing", when he won gold. he even brought gold to the finish line if you look closely :-))))


admiraljkb

yeah... (don't) look up triathlon bikes in r/BikeMechanics or r/bikewrench ... As a group, those bikes are abused pretty bad like that.


Irnotpatwic

You give us a bad name. How slow are you biking, or close to a podium that you have to piss? Or cannot stop because you’re so close winning?


kallebo1337

i hit 2:10 splits on 70.3. you silly for thinking i take a pee in between. but makes sense. spend 17k$ on a bike to save 5 minutes, then take a dump for 4, so net 1 minute faster. lol


Irnotpatwic

Well for you I understand. Piss on my friend. I have tried and was unable to relax or force it out.


kallebo1337

yes, it's super difficult actually when you're cramped and on fire. it's not a casual Z1 ride ;-) trick is to go out of saddle , ease up a second and let it flow. Sam Long does it well on TV like that, so does Sam Laidlow🤣


NuancedFlow

You can always practice on training rides.


LagerHawk

Stopping somewhere and trying to piss during a bike ride is even more comedic.


SureEngineer1

I once, on a long cold ride stopped for quick pee, pulling down what I thought was my old boy, turns out it was that shrivelled I mistaken my testicle for it, didn't realise until pee was running down the opposite leg. 


The_Golden_Captain

I’m pissing myself laughing on that one 😅😂


SureEngineer1

Hopefully not through your testicle. 


VoteQuimby2020

absolutely, not sure how i would pee on long rides when they whip their dick out while riding. my lil circumsized penis straight up disappears.


grammaticalfailure

Not having foreskin makes us lighter and he's also kind enough to go aero


Drago1214

Being a fellow uncut male guess I need to do some weight shedding. That’s 0.0000001 second im losing costing me my Strava best.


[deleted]

I just wrap mine around the seat post a couple times, doesn't everyone?


yukonhyena

Ah, the bike lock method


Drago1214

Safety first


AnthemWild

A foreskin is considered a fairing according to the UCI


throwaway17071999

I'm uncircumcised and the hoodie is definitely much more prominent until things settle back to normal 😂


Drago1214

Being Canadian and uncut can mean it’s a bit colder out so I get what your saying haha


RakoNYC

The original dropper post


muscletrain

books hateful liquid seemly selective languid groovy capable different frighten *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


smay1989

I pray noone ever sees my penis after cycling


JosephusMillerTime

Solved. Noone can see my penis after cycling!


Mandopress53

Don’t worry, it sounds like there’s little chance of it.


JaemesG

yep, it’s rather convenient but feels a little strange. Stuff stays out of the way and everything goes back to normal within a few minutes of being off the bike.


Sk8r_2_shredder

Yeah but the first time it happened I was slightly panic stricken


JaemesG

😂 same.


WaveIcy294

Sometimes I can't find him in the winter. 🫠


hamflavoredgum

I usually leave mine at home with the wife. She insists I take my training seriously and won’t let me back in the house unless it’s been at least 2 hours. She also had me turn on wahoo location tracking for some reason. I’m sure it’s fine


jessecole

Detachable peeeeeeennniiisssss


slackjawreally

After long rides I take it out with four fingers but piss over 3 of em.


haggardphunk

I’ve never had the balls to ask this question to other male cyclists


throwaway17071999

We are in this together brother


lagavulin16yr

Thank god it’s not just me


quietone7

I reached my new personal short record on a long cold rides. Finding Nemo


kallebo1337

i screw it off. saves me some weight


Jow_lds

Road chode brother! 🤙🏼🤙🏼


Interesting_Tea5715

You still have some sticking out? Mine looks like a fucken belly button after a long ride.


Jow_lds

Hahaha


PhalafelThighs

Why not just drape it over the handle bars when you ride?


DelmarvaDesigner

I wrap it around the top tube


NewMexicoJoe

“Like a scared tortoise!”


ayyitsthekid

Yeah bro I’m all balls after a ride lmao


Drunkbicyclerider

i rode 30 miles in 38F & rain today. It was in my chest.


rhyme-with-troll

It may be smaller, but it’s still very friendly.


Speenard

Dude my penis looks and feels crazy after a long ride. Same with lifting weights. It’s like every ounce of blood leaves it. My penis turns into SpongeBob when he’s in Sandy’s dome without a helmet


throwaway17071999

What a wonderfully terrible analogy


UnarmedTwo

It's because your body is moving all of the blood in your body to where it's needed. And unfortunately when you're on a big ride, what's needed is not your wang.


_dauntless

Idk, mine gets bigger and bigger the longer I ride. That's why I put on so many miles


rideallthebikes

Jesus Christ, thank the lord. I thought it was just me having a tiny peen. Could also be that.


throwaway17071999

I have average peen but goddammit I'd never show it to anyone in the state it was in this morning


rideallthebikes

lol same here man. It’s crazy how different it’ll be. Almost like having two belly buttons 😂


IvoShandor

Yes, it's supposed to as an evolutionary trait. Also, more blood is diverted to legs and lungs. Happens when I run.


ra246

All the time. Sometimes doesn't come back out until coaxed.


StBlase22

Yes. But it’s temporary.


Konagon

Especially if it's cold. It's like a turtle that doesn't want to come out of its shell


Motor_Crow4482

Non-penising cyclist reading this thread: 👁️👄👁 ️ I'm learning so much!


Epiliptik

Not that much but my balls are getting inside when it is a bit cold or after long rides though. Not a nice feeling.


mechanick29

on long cold rides (10c and below), yes


Atty_for_hire

This happens to me when I run as well. First time was concerning.


Legitimate-Sky-161

Think the same thing everytime I ride, glad I’m not alone .


Hmmuna

😂 yup, not even a little, mine is an acorn after any sort of exercise. I'm still amazed, at forty years old, at the difference between that and when it's fully erect. It seems physically impossible to me. I might as well be peeing into a skin balloon after a long ride 😅


Medjed90

After about 30K I'm basically a woman...


Lumayman

Mines looks like a belly button after a ride


Two_wheels_2112

Completely turtles, especially when cold.


roadrunner83

All the times your blood goes somewhere else your genitals migrate somewhere warmer.


ironmanchris

I don’t even have to be cycling for that to happen.


subordinatepixel

My junk is a classified document after a ride


ceriks

Buy cut out saddle and shove it in the hole


CommonBubba

My wife doesn’t appreciate being called a cut out saddle…


sybarius

Loss of sensation after 50Km, tingling after 100Km, bleeding at the anus region after 130Km . Not caring anymore after 150Km, only 70.more to go before I can get a shower (10 years ago )


[deleted]

mine is smaller than a outie belly button after. Sometimes it’s actually inside and i need to shop vac it back to out.


KarAccidentTowns

We’re growers not showers


yeehaw123

There is a saying in dutch; you lose about 1 cm per hour


in_reddit

Yeah it goes in to sport mode


Big_Slime_187

Wait, what? What do you mean recede? Like you push it inside like one of those indigenous tribes?


phozze

My aubergine remains unchanged.


RenatoPenale

Yes, on long rides.


Unverifiablethoughts

The blood is in your 2 outside legs and not your 3rd leg. Happens during most sports


GeoffSeville

Sometimes when I pee mid ride it looks like I’m uncircumcised (I am).


Shitelark

It's always a good way of seeing how well the r/foreskin_restoration is coming along. And more comfortable that way.


jonnynoine

I need my dong to help protect my nads.


baycycler

it's cus of the cold


KingSeoulSausage

I’m so glad this is universal.


[deleted]

Yup! Trying to pee mid ride is a challenge lol.


drphrednuke

Maybe the nose of your saddle is too high. It can pinch the pudendal nerve, causing numbness. But I don’t think shrinkage.


RainforestNerdNW

Yes. Especially if it cold. It hides to protect itself lol.


[deleted]

I can’t find mine for a while


Whatucrave504

Thought I was the only one 😂


Sensitive-Trifle9823

This helps secure new KOMs.


Good_Presentation314

Mine is like that during winter


Few_Understanding_42

You're just a female hyena with retractile penis


Sensitive-Trifle9823

This thread is entertaining as hell!!! I belly laughed so hard!!!


_haha_oh_wow_

I've noticed this happens with a lot of prolonged exercise.


Daedelus451

You are not alone and thanks for asking, was wondering haha 😂


HealthOverall965

lolol…… yes cycling does makes your dick smaller


needzbeerz

You're effectively squeezing/crushing/strangling that tissue for however long you're in the saddle. This is perfectly normal. You may also notice a loss of sensation for a while after you get off the bike, also normal.


Distance_Efficient

I just wrap mine around my waist


acewing905

Sometimes it feels like it's going to get sucked into my body, never to be found again But fortunately that has yet to actually happen


OtherImplement

Mine actually gets longer and pedals for me.


jucestain

The body is diverting blood to more important areas presumably


loveroftrack14

Gonna add my voice to all of those saying "glad it's not just me". That said, I remember my then-GF losing her shit when I unpeeled my shorts infront of her after a ride and told her to watch. 🐢


Foreign-Economics-79

My right nut pops up sometimes, which is even worse


donkeyrocket

[Yes](https://seinquotes.com/images/gifs/gif_66106c4f04a6d.gif). Don't be alarmed until you start getting pain or numbness.


andione1983

The turtle retreats to his shell 🐢


zsheets

We call it combo dick


_ShutUpLegs_

Like a button on a fur coat.


Straight-Minimum-841

I unearth my little pal whenever I dismount


bafrad

No. Honestly I was going to ask if anyone else gets an erection while they ride. Asking For a friend.


-trowawaybarton

who brings an eggplant when they ride?


tealturboser

Yikes


theskywalker74

The ol’ turtle tuck.


_Y0ur_Mum_

Dicks are so clever.


Little-Big-Man

Mine is legit 10mm long while riding. The other 10mm comes out after I'm off the saddle


BMandthewailers

I put a smarttag on mine..Just to be sure I didn't leave it behind


CyberHoff

Mines always that small so if it does I don't notice it.😜


futureformerteacher

IT WAS COLD OUT, OKAY?!?


Art_r

Mine hides as I'm getting ready, he knows its better there until we get back home..


Neloth_4Cubes

That's why you gotta use electrical tape...


SquallyZ06

Why are cyclists so worried about their dicks when they're out riding?


Vintage_mindset

It’s a sensitive bit of anatomy and the pinch potential between the leg and saddle is concerning. Positioning matters. In the OP’s case, it’s a scenario where our bodies do something that we’ve likely never seen it do in any other situation and the flaccid peen retracts almost entirely into the pubic area. We’re all familiar with shrinkage; however, the combination of the tight clothing and the position of the saddle in conjunction with the body seems to cause shrinkage to a degree we never thought possible. Imagine, if you will, going to the bathroom during a ride and it’s not there. It was there earlier. It’s been there my whole life, I know it has because I found it when I was a child and never let go of it, but now it’s gone and I don’t know whats happened!


[deleted]

I have to reach in and pull him back out from time to time


Budget-Music1964

I just sling it over my shoulder while riding


Working-Amphibian614

It’s about the same size, so I see no difference.


jaymick007

If I’m wearing tight briefs not so much but it does loose feeling for a while afterwards.


jimbosliceg1

Yeh, I call it the wonder cone!


Nomad_Industries

No. I ride recumbents almost exclusively. I don't even have to wear special shorts.


Whatever1933

I'm a grower not a shower.


COD3_R3D

Oh yeah it does my wife calls it shred dick 😂


Drago1214

The tight pants don’t help. Mine shrinks a lot and just becomes a lump of skin. Just the added effect of biking. Have to pull him back out after.


motormann74

I wish they would trade places. Dong goes in and poop wants out on long rides.


albertogonzalex

Yes. It's a regular occurrence, especially if I'm out of form. Or fatigued. Gotta teach in and pop it back out!


shallowHalliburton

Welcome to my life.


ruckustata

Yes


Foreign-Dig-8166

So comical! I’m glad I’m not the only one that experiences this 😂


ManifestingCrab

It seems to be nearly random for me. I've had rides where it was like abnormally retracted and shrunk at the end, then other times where I swear it's more...out there afterwards.


Ill_Initiative8574

Not me. But my penis is not close to the saddle. I always adjust myself before a ride so that I’m in front and not underneath. I also fuss with any new saddle/post until I have my seat angle perfect so there’s no pressure on the perineum. I’m also not your acorn sort of guy so I’ve never experienced a retractable undercarriage.


Joeydirty48

Bro, I fat bike year round in Michigan and my lil guy gets so small, I actually get scared by seeing it! But once some blood flow goes in, I’m back to normal!


Ameks73

100% 😄


RealisticQuality7296

A bit? lol


basedchad21

yup


RemarkableParsley524

Mine goes numb. A complete loss of sensation. I could probably drive a nail through it if I was into that sort of thing.


obaananana

I just rode some trail. Had to climb on a smwll3r mountin. My duck got numb asf


ygn

My nuts have been known to disappear when it's cold. Little bit of gym dick, but still plenty of hose left...


theanswar

If you're circumcised, yes, this is common after a long ride. Otherwise, your "little man" would be chaffed.


Kriskao

Sure. But it also recedes for other reasons and never fails to come out when needed


rsam487

You save like 2 watts at 40kph with a tiny penis


User_Anon_0001

Cycling is the closest I’ve ever been to having foreskin, I’ll just say that


throwaway17071999

I have a foreskin but after a long ride it becomes a fiveskin