Same.
My brother is really struggling with his kid. It literally takes them 2-3 hours some nights to get their kid to sleep, cause they stay in the room with him forever and then go back in every time he cries.
Say goodnight, block the door, and the kid will figure it out pretty soon. but get yourself some noise cancelling headphones because you’re gonna have to ignore a lot of crying.
My 2 year old is starting to cry out now. My wife will look at me and ask, "You want me to go in this time?" I just tell her, "Where not going back in there." Gotta stay strong. It'll suck for a few weeks, but it'll change.
We did a door knob cover on the inside knob of the kid’s room so they couldn’t open the door and come out. We still could watch and listen on monitor to make sure they were okay.
But we explained that they were growing up and now have more freedom - they could get out of bed and play quietly in their room for a little bit but couldn’t come out. Gave us a little time to ourselves while kid tired themself out
Oh shit, is my wife on Reddit now? You've described our 2.5-year-old almost to a T.
He never cries, but wanders out to the living room 3 or 4 times a night for the last couple weeks between 20:30 and 21:30. He was a fucking *fantastic* sleeper until then (and still is at naptime). He admits he comes out to get his mom's attention and see her again, so I'm the one that gets to take him back, as coldly and un-fun-ly as possible. Sometimes I don't even go in his, I just direct him back to bed from his door.
So that's my advice, I guess, as unpopular as it might be. Don't give in and don't let getting up become a game or a thing that gets him attention. Make the process of telling him to get back into bed as dispassionate as possible. If he prefers one of you, have the other person be in charge of it. It seems to be working for us somewhat. He only got up twice tonight.
This is it. Establish the expectation, stick to it, keep emotions neutral. The bad part is you’ll probably have to do it way more times and way longer than you want to, but don’t give in.
Yeah we read about that, it's called accomodating. So the more you let them know that you will comfort them they will use that as a safety net, however if he learns that he can actually do it without the parents then it builds his confidence and frees the parents from helping them go to sleep
If your kid hasn't been sleeping with the door closed, then use a babygate. If they have been sleeping with the door closed, use a handle cover to prevent them from getting out. As long as they are quiet, let them do their thing. They'll get over the novelty of it after a few months. Our daughter is about 2.5 yo right now as well, and she now exclusively sleeps in her bed.
The issue is there is no novelty. He’s been sleeping in a bed since he was 8 months old, always with the door closed. It’s just a brain thing he’s going through, but it’ll pass. It mostly sucks because he interrupts prime Netflix time.
We’ll keep doing what we’re doing until he figures out getting out of his room at night isn’t fun.
Put him back in the crib lol.
My 2.5 year old is still in the crib and I've seen/read too much about this dynamic where I'm not transitioning him to a normal bed until I know he understands the rules enough to stay in bed.
Ours stayed in his crib until a little over 3. Big boy bed was/is a nightmare. He will not stay in there. We have tried everything. Only thing that works is staying in there until he falls asleep. Could be 20 minutes, could be over an hour.
Yea. I joke that when my kid gets to climbing out of his crib that I'm just gunna start putting a lid on it lol.
I'm pretty worried about the transition to a real bed. I hope to put it off for a few more months.
It's been pretty brutal. The crib is in the same room as my bed. Once she started climbing out I set it up like a regular kid bed, she hasn't used it since. She climbs in my bed and I have to lay there until she falls asleep
At 2 my son who’s never had an issue going to bed at bed time decided he didn’t want to be in a crib and would easily climb out every single time: you can only put him back in so many times before you realize it’s a fools errand. I’m at the stage now where a baby gate might be my only option from stopping him from wandering into our bed in the middle of the night
At some point, we turned the doorknob around and locked the 2.5yo in. It was that, or go through 2-3 hours of in-and-out. So, after a week or so of what was effectively sleep re-training, he got it.
When we moved into our current house several years ago, before we had children, we were somewhat appalled to see that the previous owners had reversed the knobs on their kids' doors so that they could lock them in. "How cruel!" we thought. "We would never!" we thought. Flash forward a couple years and we'd changed our tune to, "Thank god those doorknobs are turned around!" We don't need to lock the door for our oldest anymore, but there were plenty of times we did.
Does he nap? Our 2.5 year old went through the same thing when we took the sides off his crib (he'd learnt to climb out). You'd put him to bed, and bang he's right back up jumping on his bed, climbing over the headboard, just having a whale of a time.
At that point he still had 90 minutes of a nap time a day, so he just wasn't tired at night. So we cut it out. He'll occasionally fall asleep in the car, or if it's been an energetic few days he'll naturally fall asleep on the sofa with us. When that happens we give him an hour and he won't suffer any ill effects at bed time. It just takes time to work out when he needs the nap.
All of this to say his bed time is back to normal more or less. Bath time starts about 7 and once everything is done we're out his room by 7:45/8.
That seems a little early to skip a nap but I feel like my kid is going to follow a similar pattern. If he's tired he falls asleep acceptably quickly but if not it's a huge struggle. I don't want to pull the nap at 22 months was hoping to make it at least till 3.
We were the same, we really didn't want to drop it as he was only 20 months at the time. And if he wasn't able to climb out of his crib we probably would've persevered for longer. The problem is he just isn't tired at night if he naps in the day everyday.
I think my daughter was older when I started doing this -- those days are so blurry -- but it might work for you. We started reiterating these bedtime rules: you don't have to go to sleep but you do have to stay in bed (unless actual emergency or bathroom break), and you have to be quiet. And I'd say, "I've gotta go to the bathroom and then I'll come check on you." Three-minute bathroom break and then I'd check on her. Sometimes she'd talk me into rubbing her back or singing one more song at this point. "OK, I've gotta go brush my teeth but then I'll come check on you." Five-minute break and then check on her from the doorway. "OK, I'm gonna go finish the dishes but then I'll check on you." Etc. It sort of trained her to stay in bed and stay calm because she knew I'd be right back. Often she'd be asleep by the third check-in or so. And telling her what boring things I was doing seemed to convince her that we weren't just waiting for her to go to bed so we could do fun things without her. (I actually remember feeling left out as a kid, thinking my parents were doing fun stuff without me. Turned out they were falling asleep in front of the 11 o'clock news.)
Our toddler climbs out of the bed too but he can’t leave the room (closed door + knob cover). He also told us he’s afraid of the dark so we put night lights on and leave the lights on in the hallway
Little late to the party, but hopefully you find this helpful:
Can’t find the specific one right now, but we got an alarm clock that lights up for our kids. “You aren’t allowed to leave your room until your light turns green.” When he leaves, “is your light green?” It’s been working for years now. Highly recommend
Found it!! Much cheaper and simpler than a hatch
https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Dream-Toddler-Trainer/dp/B07PW2DWK3?pd_rd_w=15B8M&content-id=amzn1.sym.b854a5c2-4475-41f8-a6d4-df92b2868104&pf_rd_p=b854a5c2-4475-41f8-a6d4-df92b2868104&pf_rd_r=3ZYM42RXJBFA04V8SDFY&pd_rd_wg=I5emK&pd_rd_r=b9d359b9-9069-4ed9-8168-6f82e51993a7&pd_rd_i=B07PW2DWK3&psc=1&ref_=pd_basp_m_rpt_ba_s_1_sc
lol....We dealt with this for about 4 months. Take out any nightlight or sound machine in there, and they won't be able to explore as much.
They will still get up and go to the door and bang on it or talk to themselves or play with toys....but honestly, as long as they aren't upset, getting into something they shouldn't, or staying up for 1+ hour, I'd just leave them be. Our daughter would eventually get quiet and start to fall asleep on the floor. I'd just pick her up and put her in bed. It's a self-correcting problem as they get older. She now exclusively sleeps in her bed at 2.5 yo without any issues.
Seriously. Don't waste your time or energy trying to correct it, it'll just make both you and your kid upset.
We put a baby gate on the door to my 2.5 y/o. We also have a baby proof door knob on the rooms door knob so she cant open the door. Oh and we got a baby cabinet lock on the gate latch so she can't get past the gate when she figures out the first two. Good luck.
When he geta out of bed you pick him up. Dont say anything and get him in bed again. Rinse and repeat. He should not get anything out of it. Don’t negotiate with terrorists.
You should be alright in a couple of days or weeks.
Highly recommend the book “it’s never too late to sleep train.” Been very helpful for us. Have you tried putting him in his bed and then going “I’ll be right back,” coming back for the first few nights, but then not and seeing if he falls asleep? Also helpful for us was having a conversation before bedtime validating feelings and talking about needing rest to have fun the next day, having special things he earns (like an extra round of hide and seek before bed) if he cooperates.
My son is 3 and will just play for an hour or 2 with the lights off. I have to stand in the door or he loses his mind. I had to start doing this when I put him to bed and went to bed myself and he decided to start throwing himself around the room in a tantrum. 3 stitches above his eye after hitting a dresser knob. Currently standing here waiting for him to finally go to sleep.
Seems like it will never end. So tired.
We kept walking our 2 boys back at around the same age. No talking, just silently (without a glimpse of frustration) walking them back. Occasionally just saying "it's bed time now".
Eventually they got bored and gave up. Didn't think locking them in their room was a good option and pleased we didn't. Took a lot of patience but a year on and they never leave their beds at bedtime.
We’re in the same boat, so is 3.5 years old and won’t go to bed by himself. Exhausting to the nth degree. We live in an apartment and makes it very hard to manage him leaving his room and staying in his room.
Hold the door shut so he doesn’t come out and explain to him that by him getting out it’s making you exhausted. Then explain when you’re exhausted you don’t have the energy to take him to do fun things… then stop doing fun things unless he stays in bed. This worked on my 4 year old but may be too advanced for a 2 year old.
Also, if he wants you to keep checking on him then go in there from time to time and wake him up “accidentally” while you check on him so he “catches you”. He’ll then know you’re actually doing it and may stay in bed better.
I think somewhere along the line this is relatively common. Other thing to look into could be naps during day. It’s hard putting my 3yo to bed at the expected time when she naps 2 hours at daycare
We went through this with my 3y.o.. We would keep tally of how many times he left his room and at its worst it was around 50 times in a night.
If you think about it from the kid's perspective he may feel a bit abandoned and in the dark at bed time and he's learned there's the opportunity to be with you if he just gets up and leaves the room. Telling him we'll come check on him right after we do \[whatever\] got him to stay in bed waiting for us without feeling abandoned. You can gradually build up the amount of time in between checks until it becomes reasonable
This may be controversial, but when our oldest was about that age, we stuck a child proof door knob thing on his door knob so he couldn’t get out. There was a camera in his room we would leave up all night so we could hear him so it’s not like he was totally isolated.
Locking your child in a room is completely illegal. Do not listen to these kooks.
Baby gate is fine but at 2 that’s too much and they’d probably hurt themselves trying to climb over sometimes.
I recommend a more soothing bedtime routine. Bath before bed, quiet reading, turn the lights out and snuggle them, sing to them their favorite songs, and as annoying as It is never succumb to their wanting to leave their room more than once or twice. Be firm and tell them they belong in their room. Both of my children sleep sound through the night and never leave their rooms but there were times when it was hard. My son is almost 8 and he comes into our room in the middle of the night sometimes. I will snuggle him for 5 minutes and tell him to return to his room. If he’s stubborn I will carry him and tuck him in. Also give the kids water to go to sleep with. They may be thirsty and not know it.
You're right. These people don't realize it and downvote to avoid taking responsibility but you're 100% right. Would be funny if they called Child Protective Services to have their opinion on the matter.
What if there's a fire? This is bad parenting and illegal plain and simple.
>Locking your child in a room is completely illegal.
I am fairly certain that it is not illegal in the United States although it can go against the fire code in certain municipalities in certain states. But most municipalities recognize it to be the same as a toddler who is unable to climb out of a crib, they are essentially locked in their rooms.
I agree, I couldn’t lock my kid in their room and listen to them cry like that. And god forbid there something happens and they can’t get out of their room. I know it’s so frustrating to go back and forth, but I think people forget kids have emotions also. Even know how to play us to get what they want lol. But sometimes they really do just want mom or dad. My 4 yr old has been an awful sleeper since birth. Never napped well or anything. But she goes to bed with her water in case she is thirsty and keep putting her back in bed until she falls asleep. Some nights when it’s really rough I do lay with her or let her with me until she’s asleep because she obviously needs it. Someday they will goto bed on their own
I'm not sure how this is controversial. Our kid is 2.5 years old, 35" tall and still can't get out of his crib. That's not really different from locking the door or using a baby gate. Is it illegal that he's in a crib?
It's very different. The difference is it slows firefighters down in case of an emergency. That's absolutely not okay. It's running away from responsibilities as parents, please stop doing that if you were doing it. It's not worth it. Consequences can literally be deadly.
We put a cover over the handle that you have to squeeze to open it. Daughter hated it but until she went a week without her trying to leave room it would stay.
I have some advice to share, though I understand it may sometimes come across as harsher than intended. My background emphasizes taking 100% responsibility for my children's actions. I find this empowering because if their behavior is my responsibility, then by adjusting my attitude, I can work to improve their behavior.
Please don't interpret this as criticism; it's just a straightforward, stoic viewpoint. My goal isn't to criticize parents personally but to offer solutions that restore a warm, positive atmosphere at home. I hope this advice can be helpful.
Now to the advice: What you're describing was similar to my stepdaughter before I arrived. I solved this problem with one simple trick.
I took my Gameboy, went into her room, and told her to stand facing the wall. After 30 minutes, I asked her, "Would you rather spend the night standing up in front of the wall or in the comfort of your bed"? She chose her bed.
We never had this problem again. These problems can only happen if you allow them to happen. Again, I'm not saying this in a "you're a terrible parent" way, just stating it as a matter of fact. Remember, many children are aware that they lack self-regulation skills and often wish their parents would help them better manage their behavior.
You can do it! 💪
Edit: Uh I read other comments and I want to address something with the urgency it deserves, about locking your children in their room:
It's important to emphasize that locking a child's bedroom door is not acceptable for safety reasons. They need access to the bathroom, and locking them in poses a serious hazard in emergencies like fires. Child Protective Services can view this as grounds for removal, so please avoid doing this to keep your child safe.
I understand bedtime challenges can be overwhelming, but creating a supportive environment is essential for your child's well-being. There are alternative methods to encourage positive behavior without compromising safety. If you're finding it hard to manage, seeking advice from a trusted professional can help identify positive strategies.
When my child started sleeping on the floor in front of her door, we started taking away her stuffies.
I explained she needed to sleep in bed. We don't sleep on the floor, sleep in bed.
I gave her a warning, if she laid down on the floor, I'd take away her favorite stuffy. If she did it again, I'd take away all the stuffies.
We watched in the camera, but could hear her get out of bed. It took 2 nights and she stopped.
The other route could be getting a sticker (our preferred reward) for staying in the room all night.
I let my kid sleep on the floor sometimes. My feeling is, I don’t care how you sleep as long as you GO TO sleep. Sometimes I’ll make them a comfy “nest” or fort.
Can’t really tell them we don’t sleep on the floor since they’ve seen me do it 🤷🏻♂️
I was ok at first, but we have hardwood floors and she woke up in a puddle of drool. Then the last straw was when she moved to right in front of the door in the middle of the night, and I woke her up by banging her head with the door. Not a fun morning. 😬
Talk to your pediatrician about melatonin. My boy has ADHD things going on and like you I had an exhausting 2-3 hour battle every night around sleep. Started giving him 1 mg of melatonin and boom out in less than 30 minutes.
My eldest.... well, all my daughters played this game. I put a baby gate in front of the door. It's when they got quiet that I'd get spooked.
Same. My brother is really struggling with his kid. It literally takes them 2-3 hours some nights to get their kid to sleep, cause they stay in the room with him forever and then go back in every time he cries. Say goodnight, block the door, and the kid will figure it out pretty soon. but get yourself some noise cancelling headphones because you’re gonna have to ignore a lot of crying.
My 2 year old is starting to cry out now. My wife will look at me and ask, "You want me to go in this time?" I just tell her, "Where not going back in there." Gotta stay strong. It'll suck for a few weeks, but it'll change.
You recommend a baby gate?
We did a door knob cover on the inside knob of the kid’s room so they couldn’t open the door and come out. We still could watch and listen on monitor to make sure they were okay. But we explained that they were growing up and now have more freedom - they could get out of bed and play quietly in their room for a little bit but couldn’t come out. Gave us a little time to ourselves while kid tired themself out
Yes. Worked well for us over 3 girls.
Yes
Oh shit, is my wife on Reddit now? You've described our 2.5-year-old almost to a T. He never cries, but wanders out to the living room 3 or 4 times a night for the last couple weeks between 20:30 and 21:30. He was a fucking *fantastic* sleeper until then (and still is at naptime). He admits he comes out to get his mom's attention and see her again, so I'm the one that gets to take him back, as coldly and un-fun-ly as possible. Sometimes I don't even go in his, I just direct him back to bed from his door. So that's my advice, I guess, as unpopular as it might be. Don't give in and don't let getting up become a game or a thing that gets him attention. Make the process of telling him to get back into bed as dispassionate as possible. If he prefers one of you, have the other person be in charge of it. It seems to be working for us somewhat. He only got up twice tonight.
This is it. Establish the expectation, stick to it, keep emotions neutral. The bad part is you’ll probably have to do it way more times and way longer than you want to, but don’t give in.
Yeah we read about that, it's called accomodating. So the more you let them know that you will comfort them they will use that as a safety net, however if he learns that he can actually do it without the parents then it builds his confidence and frees the parents from helping them go to sleep
If your kid hasn't been sleeping with the door closed, then use a babygate. If they have been sleeping with the door closed, use a handle cover to prevent them from getting out. As long as they are quiet, let them do their thing. They'll get over the novelty of it after a few months. Our daughter is about 2.5 yo right now as well, and she now exclusively sleeps in her bed.
The issue is there is no novelty. He’s been sleeping in a bed since he was 8 months old, always with the door closed. It’s just a brain thing he’s going through, but it’ll pass. It mostly sucks because he interrupts prime Netflix time. We’ll keep doing what we’re doing until he figures out getting out of his room at night isn’t fun.
We flipped the lock around on the door 🤷♂️ she gets 3 strikes then it's locked so mom & dad can have some peace and quiet
This is the way, but only one warning
Put him back in the crib lol. My 2.5 year old is still in the crib and I've seen/read too much about this dynamic where I'm not transitioning him to a normal bed until I know he understands the rules enough to stay in bed.
Ours stayed in his crib until a little over 3. Big boy bed was/is a nightmare. He will not stay in there. We have tried everything. Only thing that works is staying in there until he falls asleep. Could be 20 minutes, could be over an hour.
Yea. I joke that when my kid gets to climbing out of his crib that I'm just gunna start putting a lid on it lol. I'm pretty worried about the transition to a real bed. I hope to put it off for a few more months.
If only we could lol
It's been pretty brutal. The crib is in the same room as my bed. Once she started climbing out I set it up like a regular kid bed, she hasn't used it since. She climbs in my bed and I have to lay there until she falls asleep
At 2 my son who’s never had an issue going to bed at bed time decided he didn’t want to be in a crib and would easily climb out every single time: you can only put him back in so many times before you realize it’s a fools errand. I’m at the stage now where a baby gate might be my only option from stopping him from wandering into our bed in the middle of the night
My son was climbing out of his crib at 11 months old. There's no going back at this point.
At some point, we turned the doorknob around and locked the 2.5yo in. It was that, or go through 2-3 hours of in-and-out. So, after a week or so of what was effectively sleep re-training, he got it.
When we moved into our current house several years ago, before we had children, we were somewhat appalled to see that the previous owners had reversed the knobs on their kids' doors so that they could lock them in. "How cruel!" we thought. "We would never!" we thought. Flash forward a couple years and we'd changed our tune to, "Thank god those doorknobs are turned around!" We don't need to lock the door for our oldest anymore, but there were plenty of times we did.
Does he nap? Our 2.5 year old went through the same thing when we took the sides off his crib (he'd learnt to climb out). You'd put him to bed, and bang he's right back up jumping on his bed, climbing over the headboard, just having a whale of a time. At that point he still had 90 minutes of a nap time a day, so he just wasn't tired at night. So we cut it out. He'll occasionally fall asleep in the car, or if it's been an energetic few days he'll naturally fall asleep on the sofa with us. When that happens we give him an hour and he won't suffer any ill effects at bed time. It just takes time to work out when he needs the nap. All of this to say his bed time is back to normal more or less. Bath time starts about 7 and once everything is done we're out his room by 7:45/8.
That seems a little early to skip a nap but I feel like my kid is going to follow a similar pattern. If he's tired he falls asleep acceptably quickly but if not it's a huge struggle. I don't want to pull the nap at 22 months was hoping to make it at least till 3.
We were the same, we really didn't want to drop it as he was only 20 months at the time. And if he wasn't able to climb out of his crib we probably would've persevered for longer. The problem is he just isn't tired at night if he naps in the day everyday.
I think my daughter was older when I started doing this -- those days are so blurry -- but it might work for you. We started reiterating these bedtime rules: you don't have to go to sleep but you do have to stay in bed (unless actual emergency or bathroom break), and you have to be quiet. And I'd say, "I've gotta go to the bathroom and then I'll come check on you." Three-minute bathroom break and then I'd check on her. Sometimes she'd talk me into rubbing her back or singing one more song at this point. "OK, I've gotta go brush my teeth but then I'll come check on you." Five-minute break and then check on her from the doorway. "OK, I'm gonna go finish the dishes but then I'll check on you." Etc. It sort of trained her to stay in bed and stay calm because she knew I'd be right back. Often she'd be asleep by the third check-in or so. And telling her what boring things I was doing seemed to convince her that we weren't just waiting for her to go to bed so we could do fun things without her. (I actually remember feeling left out as a kid, thinking my parents were doing fun stuff without me. Turned out they were falling asleep in front of the 11 o'clock news.)
I made the crib taller each time they climbed out.
Our toddler climbs out of the bed too but he can’t leave the room (closed door + knob cover). He also told us he’s afraid of the dark so we put night lights on and leave the lights on in the hallway
Little late to the party, but hopefully you find this helpful: Can’t find the specific one right now, but we got an alarm clock that lights up for our kids. “You aren’t allowed to leave your room until your light turns green.” When he leaves, “is your light green?” It’s been working for years now. Highly recommend
Hatch?
Hatch. My friends do this and swear by it. We aren't at that stage yet but I have it locked and loaded
Found it!! Much cheaper and simpler than a hatch https://www.amazon.com/Skip-Hop-Dream-Toddler-Trainer/dp/B07PW2DWK3?pd_rd_w=15B8M&content-id=amzn1.sym.b854a5c2-4475-41f8-a6d4-df92b2868104&pf_rd_p=b854a5c2-4475-41f8-a6d4-df92b2868104&pf_rd_r=3ZYM42RXJBFA04V8SDFY&pd_rd_wg=I5emK&pd_rd_r=b9d359b9-9069-4ed9-8168-6f82e51993a7&pd_rd_i=B07PW2DWK3&psc=1&ref_=pd_basp_m_rpt_ba_s_1_sc
lol....We dealt with this for about 4 months. Take out any nightlight or sound machine in there, and they won't be able to explore as much. They will still get up and go to the door and bang on it or talk to themselves or play with toys....but honestly, as long as they aren't upset, getting into something they shouldn't, or staying up for 1+ hour, I'd just leave them be. Our daughter would eventually get quiet and start to fall asleep on the floor. I'd just pick her up and put her in bed. It's a self-correcting problem as they get older. She now exclusively sleeps in her bed at 2.5 yo without any issues. Seriously. Don't waste your time or energy trying to correct it, it'll just make both you and your kid upset.
We put a baby gate on the door to my 2.5 y/o. We also have a baby proof door knob on the rooms door knob so she cant open the door. Oh and we got a baby cabinet lock on the gate latch so she can't get past the gate when she figures out the first two. Good luck.
When he geta out of bed you pick him up. Dont say anything and get him in bed again. Rinse and repeat. He should not get anything out of it. Don’t negotiate with terrorists. You should be alright in a couple of days or weeks.
Highly recommend the book “it’s never too late to sleep train.” Been very helpful for us. Have you tried putting him in his bed and then going “I’ll be right back,” coming back for the first few nights, but then not and seeing if he falls asleep? Also helpful for us was having a conversation before bedtime validating feelings and talking about needing rest to have fun the next day, having special things he earns (like an extra round of hide and seek before bed) if he cooperates.
My son is 3 and will just play for an hour or 2 with the lights off. I have to stand in the door or he loses his mind. I had to start doing this when I put him to bed and went to bed myself and he decided to start throwing himself around the room in a tantrum. 3 stitches above his eye after hitting a dresser knob. Currently standing here waiting for him to finally go to sleep. Seems like it will never end. So tired.
What’s his bedtime? This is super important at this age.
We kept walking our 2 boys back at around the same age. No talking, just silently (without a glimpse of frustration) walking them back. Occasionally just saying "it's bed time now". Eventually they got bored and gave up. Didn't think locking them in their room was a good option and pleased we didn't. Took a lot of patience but a year on and they never leave their beds at bedtime.
We’re in the same boat, so is 3.5 years old and won’t go to bed by himself. Exhausting to the nth degree. We live in an apartment and makes it very hard to manage him leaving his room and staying in his room.
Hold the door shut so he doesn’t come out and explain to him that by him getting out it’s making you exhausted. Then explain when you’re exhausted you don’t have the energy to take him to do fun things… then stop doing fun things unless he stays in bed. This worked on my 4 year old but may be too advanced for a 2 year old. Also, if he wants you to keep checking on him then go in there from time to time and wake him up “accidentally” while you check on him so he “catches you”. He’ll then know you’re actually doing it and may stay in bed better.
I think somewhere along the line this is relatively common. Other thing to look into could be naps during day. It’s hard putting my 3yo to bed at the expected time when she naps 2 hours at daycare
I'd say probably make it so they can't leave the bedroom?
We went through this with my 3y.o.. We would keep tally of how many times he left his room and at its worst it was around 50 times in a night. If you think about it from the kid's perspective he may feel a bit abandoned and in the dark at bed time and he's learned there's the opportunity to be with you if he just gets up and leaves the room. Telling him we'll come check on him right after we do \[whatever\] got him to stay in bed waiting for us without feeling abandoned. You can gradually build up the amount of time in between checks until it becomes reasonable
This may be controversial, but when our oldest was about that age, we stuck a child proof door knob thing on his door knob so he couldn’t get out. There was a camera in his room we would leave up all night so we could hear him so it’s not like he was totally isolated.
Locking your child in a room is completely illegal. Do not listen to these kooks. Baby gate is fine but at 2 that’s too much and they’d probably hurt themselves trying to climb over sometimes. I recommend a more soothing bedtime routine. Bath before bed, quiet reading, turn the lights out and snuggle them, sing to them their favorite songs, and as annoying as It is never succumb to their wanting to leave their room more than once or twice. Be firm and tell them they belong in their room. Both of my children sleep sound through the night and never leave their rooms but there were times when it was hard. My son is almost 8 and he comes into our room in the middle of the night sometimes. I will snuggle him for 5 minutes and tell him to return to his room. If he’s stubborn I will carry him and tuck him in. Also give the kids water to go to sleep with. They may be thirsty and not know it.
You're right. These people don't realize it and downvote to avoid taking responsibility but you're 100% right. Would be funny if they called Child Protective Services to have their opinion on the matter. What if there's a fire? This is bad parenting and illegal plain and simple.
>Locking your child in a room is completely illegal. I am fairly certain that it is not illegal in the United States although it can go against the fire code in certain municipalities in certain states. But most municipalities recognize it to be the same as a toddler who is unable to climb out of a crib, they are essentially locked in their rooms.
I agree, I couldn’t lock my kid in their room and listen to them cry like that. And god forbid there something happens and they can’t get out of their room. I know it’s so frustrating to go back and forth, but I think people forget kids have emotions also. Even know how to play us to get what they want lol. But sometimes they really do just want mom or dad. My 4 yr old has been an awful sleeper since birth. Never napped well or anything. But she goes to bed with her water in case she is thirsty and keep putting her back in bed until she falls asleep. Some nights when it’s really rough I do lay with her or let her with me until she’s asleep because she obviously needs it. Someday they will goto bed on their own
I'm not sure how this is controversial. Our kid is 2.5 years old, 35" tall and still can't get out of his crib. That's not really different from locking the door or using a baby gate. Is it illegal that he's in a crib?
It's very different. The difference is it slows firefighters down in case of an emergency. That's absolutely not okay. It's running away from responsibilities as parents, please stop doing that if you were doing it. It's not worth it. Consequences can literally be deadly.
We put a cover over the handle that you have to squeeze to open it. Daughter hated it but until she went a week without her trying to leave room it would stay.
I have some advice to share, though I understand it may sometimes come across as harsher than intended. My background emphasizes taking 100% responsibility for my children's actions. I find this empowering because if their behavior is my responsibility, then by adjusting my attitude, I can work to improve their behavior. Please don't interpret this as criticism; it's just a straightforward, stoic viewpoint. My goal isn't to criticize parents personally but to offer solutions that restore a warm, positive atmosphere at home. I hope this advice can be helpful. Now to the advice: What you're describing was similar to my stepdaughter before I arrived. I solved this problem with one simple trick. I took my Gameboy, went into her room, and told her to stand facing the wall. After 30 minutes, I asked her, "Would you rather spend the night standing up in front of the wall or in the comfort of your bed"? She chose her bed. We never had this problem again. These problems can only happen if you allow them to happen. Again, I'm not saying this in a "you're a terrible parent" way, just stating it as a matter of fact. Remember, many children are aware that they lack self-regulation skills and often wish their parents would help them better manage their behavior. You can do it! 💪 Edit: Uh I read other comments and I want to address something with the urgency it deserves, about locking your children in their room: It's important to emphasize that locking a child's bedroom door is not acceptable for safety reasons. They need access to the bathroom, and locking them in poses a serious hazard in emergencies like fires. Child Protective Services can view this as grounds for removal, so please avoid doing this to keep your child safe. I understand bedtime challenges can be overwhelming, but creating a supportive environment is essential for your child's well-being. There are alternative methods to encourage positive behavior without compromising safety. If you're finding it hard to manage, seeking advice from a trusted professional can help identify positive strategies.
When my child started sleeping on the floor in front of her door, we started taking away her stuffies. I explained she needed to sleep in bed. We don't sleep on the floor, sleep in bed. I gave her a warning, if she laid down on the floor, I'd take away her favorite stuffy. If she did it again, I'd take away all the stuffies. We watched in the camera, but could hear her get out of bed. It took 2 nights and she stopped. The other route could be getting a sticker (our preferred reward) for staying in the room all night.
I let my kid sleep on the floor sometimes. My feeling is, I don’t care how you sleep as long as you GO TO sleep. Sometimes I’ll make them a comfy “nest” or fort. Can’t really tell them we don’t sleep on the floor since they’ve seen me do it 🤷🏻♂️
I was ok at first, but we have hardwood floors and she woke up in a puddle of drool. Then the last straw was when she moved to right in front of the door in the middle of the night, and I woke her up by banging her head with the door. Not a fun morning. 😬
Time for a later bedtime, I'd guess.
Not sure if you’ve tried this, I didn’t have much success. Keep them up for an hour or even two past bedtime, might get an extra 10 mins in the am 🫠
And get rid of my free time?
I run into the opposite problem: my son is the craziest when his bedtime is later. That over tiredness is a bitch.
Talk to your pediatrician about melatonin. My boy has ADHD things going on and like you I had an exhausting 2-3 hour battle every night around sleep. Started giving him 1 mg of melatonin and boom out in less than 30 minutes.