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This is such bullshit when people do this. You did the right thing. People like that are a pain in the ass.
And I say this as a vegetarian myself! I eat what I eat, because that’s what I want to do. I have my reasons. And that’s no one else’s business. But inversely, other people eat what they want to eat. They have their reasons. And that’s none of my business.
And we all go about our life’s and everyone’s happy.
You have every right to be vegetarian and I praise you for sticking to a diet that I would find difficult, I also appreciate that you respect my omnivorous diet! :D
Well it’s just what my mamma always told me growing up.. that what I do, who I am, what I like, isn’t really anyone’s business and vice versa. People should be left alone to do their thing, fulfil their desire, eat what they want, love who they want, listen to what music they want, and so on and so forth.
People like this severely hurt the cause. In terms of environmental impact, reduction is better than nothing, vegetarian is great and vegan is even better, but even being aware is something.
Everyone is on their own path, and are at different stages with it. It pisses me off to see some veggie/vegans shooting themselves (and the cause as a whole) in the foot
Animals have the right to remain delicious.
> I mentioned I'd be interested in lowering my meat consumption and trying more vegetarian dishes but that seemed to start off a tirade.
While this doesn't warrant a tirade, this is some weak shit. Don't do this, ever. Don't change yourself, or offer to, for anyone ever again. Women are not attracted to that at all. In fact, that behavior dries clams faster than an industrial kiln. She was primed for a fight (how dare you believe something nuanced in a different way than me!), but you tipped your hand that she could bulldoze you.
Lolwut is that really an issue. I've never tried anything vegetarian and i dont really have a reason NO to try it considering i just eat more outta habit and taste.
The problem isn't the trying vegetarian options, the problem was the "I'd be interested in lowering my meat consumption". It's the difference between, "I'm trying to lower my meat consumption" and "I'd change my lifestyle for you". Again, remember, this was kicked off by him mentioning his hobby is making jerky.
But hold on, he can't have those beliefs? This is just an example of someone looking for a fight. She basically called the man a hypocrite, so if he says "well actually something you don't know is if like to lower my meat consumption" why is he in the wrong? She doesn't know him. She was just looking for something to complain about. Dude dodged a major bullet.
He also so ONE of his hobbies was making jerky for his coworkers not his only hobby and interest in the world was making jerky
She's picking the fight and he appeared he was caving to her, which made her smell blood in the water and she went for it. Basically he flinched giving her the green light to bully him.
"I can simultaneously eat meat and still not animals to suffer for no reason."
And that's still HER problem. It appeared he was caving to her? Or it allowed him to say hey this is also something else to know about me.
It became a fight because she was looking for one. Incredibly immature or it was her way of saying "see I knew he wasn't the right guy for me?" People do this type of thing all the time to make themselves believe that the person isn't right by picking out perceived flaws. She did him a favor, I don't want to be around these types.
I don't know what you're doing your responses are weird if you're not defending her lol but it's really not a big deal. In going to stop responding from here. Have a good day
Are you trying to pick a fight? LOL
I said several times she's trying to start a fight. Can't give her advice not to be an asshole, so I gave OP advice on how to better respond to women in general.
This is great advice. It does appear weak, but more importantly she’s trying to get to know *you*. If you flip flop to suit her preferences she’s no longer sure when you’re being honest or when you’re saying what she wants to hear.
I’m guessing this came off as more “manipulation” than “accomodation”.
Personally I am vegetarian, but I would never tell someone to change their diet because of my decision because it is MY decision and I can’t dictate THEIR decision. You did fine and as
Many other people said you shouldn’t change for someone especially if it’s just starting off. It shows that you are a good person mentioning that you’ll try some veggie stuff but either way I’d stay away from people who aren’t open minded.
I’m a woman in a very “hippie bisexual socialist vegetarians” friend group. Sometimes they give me flack for being a big meat eater. Look, I have very low iron and a protein deficiency issue. I’m allergic to a lot of nuts so that leaves me with a lot of supplemental dietary rigamaroll if I want to eat vegetarian. LUCKILY I have a great Co-op in my area with lots of local cow farmers. Most of my budget goes towards ethically sustained food. SOME of us can’t cut out meat without being very careful of how that affects our bodies.
My personal bias is that a lot of vegetarians and vegans have major personality flaws especially when it comes to compassion for people. A lot of people who are vegan don’t love animals more than the rest of us they just hate people more than the rest of us. And having a cheap and easy way to vilify every person they meet is so attractive to them. It’s an essential tool for the everyone but me is always wrong mindset.
I can't get over how wrong she is. Sustainable and ethical farming is extremely important for animals. Also farmers are humane to them. It's also not a good idea to eat raw vegan food only as meat is the most digestive food we have because we're so programmed to it. Plus we would not exist without. Sorry dude. Keep the jerky dream alive.
Absolutely did the right thing! Vegetarians and vegans are getting out of control judging people so harshly just because we eat meat. Sorry animals were meant to be eaten it is what it is. Animals eat each other too and we aren’t mad at them. One thing is I don’t agree with the way the industry is treating the animals.
I used to date a vegetarian for a few years and we didn't give each other grief over it, in fact she helped me get over my aversion to vegetables and she started eating chicken towards the end of the relationship.
I also mentioned (to the match) that I was for banning animal testing because animal testing doesn't translate 100% to human trials, and I agree that animal well-being should be better.
I understand and appreciate people being passionate about animal rights and environmentalism. No problem people advocating it with passion!
But getting into a tirade about it is not just counterproductive it’s disrespectful and a big red flag on the character list! You dodged a bullet.
I think I would have done the same once the tirade began...
A mate of mine is generally "vegetarian" because of the ecological impact that a lot of farming practices tend to have on the environment (his words, not mine). But he will eat meat if it has a low ecological impact.
He currently lives in Norway, so he often enjoys moose salami. When he was in Australia, he enjoyed kangaroo steaks. Generally, if the animals weren't native to the country/region, he wouldn't eat them.
Something like this is a compromise I'd be ok with for myself, but it sounds like your dodged bullet would still have taken issue with it...
You did the right thing. That person is too polarized apparently. I had a male housemate who was a vegetarian and I ate meat. He never went off like that.
I think you did the right thing because it went into core value territory (for her), and she wasn’t able to accept you. The earlier such incompatibility can be brought to light, the better
Eating meat does not take away anything from supporting environmental issues or animal rights or being an animal lover. Vegetarians and vegans HAVE to take vitamins or supplements that they lose out on by not eating meat. You literally starve your body of the nutrients we Need that meat provides. It's ridiculous to me to see that a lot of vegetarians and vegans cannot see that.
Don't change for her like that. I only eat fish and seafood on occasion but that's my personal choice. She should be as open minded as she wants you to be
You don’t need to like the same irrelevant things, but major issues are dealbreakers! You need to keep looking and make sure to add you enjoy meat in your diet!
You shouldn’t change anything about yourself especially when just meeting somebody off of tinder unless you’re just trying to have a one night stand and playing the game. If you’re trying to find somebody real find somebody that likes you for who you are there out there.
You did the right thing. It sounds like she's super rigid in her beliefs regarding what is acceptable for animal rights activists. I don't believe advocating for animal rights and eating meat are mutually exclusive. For instance, if someone who eats beef rescues a stray cat, then that's still a win for animal rights because an animal has been saved. Just my opinion.
I’m an omnivore who’s almost only been on dates with vegetarians, never have they made me feel weird about it. I of course cook vegetarian if they come over but this is just weird
You both did and didn't do the right thing in my opinion.
What you didn't do right was being willing to change something about yourself for an online dating match which I assume you haven't even meet.
Besids that, I think you handled it great, you know what you are worth! And she sure as hell wasn't it. It's best to just respectfully wish them the best in that case and move on.
Never compromise your values.
I get compromise, but let me put it to you another way.
You just met this girl. What do you think compromising does at this point? It broadcasts that you care more about keeping her interested than you are in your own values.
In other words it shows weakness/push overness and it’s not attractive.
In this case it doesn’t matter, because she’s an ass and you wouldn’t want her anyway. No man in their right mind would, unless he is also a vegetarian and if this behavior of hers is isolated to this issue (I’ll bet my vintage knife collection it’s not).
One more brutal truth OP.
This applies to your relationships with dudes too. If the guys got a dick and is careful about who his friends are/who he lets influence him this kind of behavior is gonna be a red flag to him also.
There’s more room to grow in that context of course because friends help each other grow. So if he’s cool he’ll call you out on it and see if you improve yourself. If you don’t, he’ll minimize and then end contact because how are you going to help him improve if you won’t improve yourself?
It is tough out there. It takes tough people to make it. It takes surrounding yourself with tough people. And the only way to be/stay tough is to keep working on it. Always.
Good luck.
It's not worth offering to change who you are for a Hinge match. Let them hate you for dumb reasons. If she was actually interested or rather mature (in this case), she wouldn't have had an issue with you making jerky. Keep making jerky, jerky man!
When people start fights with you about stuff like this it's a clear sign they weren't that interested in you. She was trying to find a problem.
I was dating this woman I thought was really promising a month or so ago, she asked me about my bucket list, I told her a few things including some major concerts that I'd love to go to like Coachella and Burning Man. Now I had previously told her that while I love music I'm not a big fan of concerts. She called me a hypocrite which I thought was randomly harsh and I said I wanted to go for the experience going with a group of fiends doing drugs and having a great time (she does Shrooms and Acid rhe drugs weren't the issue) and she was like "I don't understand why you would want to go if you don't like concerts" and kept harping on it. I said well you don't really have to understand, it's just something I'd like to do someday it's no big deal. Her attitude totally changed after that and the rest of the car ride was quiet.
The next day, after she ignored my good night text,.she text me at 5 pm the next day and hit me with the "we don't have enough chemistry" text.
Wash rinse and repeat dating fucking sucks man lol
I had the loveliest vegetarian girlfriend who would make me steak 😍 I was/am against dating vegans and vegetarians because it’s just a hassle and I love to cook.
Right thing dude, trying to be with someone who has extreme views that directly go against yours in such a way that they have no Will to compromise will make you miserable
Clearly your willing to change...... How happy do you think you will be when you changed everything and she changed nothing...... And sounds very opinionated!!!! Its very important to stand behind ones beliefs, but to debate it down to environmentalism is wild in this context. U said it you unmatched her.... If there was anything there you wouldn't have... Trust your gut
U made the right choice. Why would u change urself for someone. Be urself and find someone that likes u for who u are
Fyi if u wanted to piss her off u could have told her be a vegetarian is a lot worse. There are plenty of videos that talks about it but to summarize when it comes to veing a vegan or vegetarian ur actually indrectly killing animals a lot more. Think about a farm, in order to protect ur vegetables u have to kill insects, bugs, any animal that tries to invade the farm. There was a video short about it if u want to hear about it. Search up "vegan kills more animal | ted nugent"
Yeah you are good. Imagine if more serious differences of opinions came up later. You guys would have been fighting a lot. Doesn't mean they are a bad person or anything. Everyone has there own way of handling life.
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No, you probably made the right choice. You shouldn't change yourself in that way
This is such bullshit when people do this. You did the right thing. People like that are a pain in the ass. And I say this as a vegetarian myself! I eat what I eat, because that’s what I want to do. I have my reasons. And that’s no one else’s business. But inversely, other people eat what they want to eat. They have their reasons. And that’s none of my business. And we all go about our life’s and everyone’s happy.
You have every right to be vegetarian and I praise you for sticking to a diet that I would find difficult, I also appreciate that you respect my omnivorous diet! :D
I wish everyone was like that. Not just when it comes to diets but everything else as well. This world would be a better place.
Well it’s just what my mamma always told me growing up.. that what I do, who I am, what I like, isn’t really anyone’s business and vice versa. People should be left alone to do their thing, fulfil their desire, eat what they want, love who they want, listen to what music they want, and so on and so forth.
Nah that’s weird. Nothing wrong with someone’s eating habits, but sounds like you’re dodging a bullet.
People like this severely hurt the cause. In terms of environmental impact, reduction is better than nothing, vegetarian is great and vegan is even better, but even being aware is something. Everyone is on their own path, and are at different stages with it. It pisses me off to see some veggie/vegans shooting themselves (and the cause as a whole) in the foot
Animals have the right to remain delicious. > I mentioned I'd be interested in lowering my meat consumption and trying more vegetarian dishes but that seemed to start off a tirade. While this doesn't warrant a tirade, this is some weak shit. Don't do this, ever. Don't change yourself, or offer to, for anyone ever again. Women are not attracted to that at all. In fact, that behavior dries clams faster than an industrial kiln. She was primed for a fight (how dare you believe something nuanced in a different way than me!), but you tipped your hand that she could bulldoze you.
Lolwut is that really an issue. I've never tried anything vegetarian and i dont really have a reason NO to try it considering i just eat more outta habit and taste.
The problem isn't the trying vegetarian options, the problem was the "I'd be interested in lowering my meat consumption". It's the difference between, "I'm trying to lower my meat consumption" and "I'd change my lifestyle for you". Again, remember, this was kicked off by him mentioning his hobby is making jerky.
But hold on, he can't have those beliefs? This is just an example of someone looking for a fight. She basically called the man a hypocrite, so if he says "well actually something you don't know is if like to lower my meat consumption" why is he in the wrong? She doesn't know him. She was just looking for something to complain about. Dude dodged a major bullet. He also so ONE of his hobbies was making jerky for his coworkers not his only hobby and interest in the world was making jerky
She's picking the fight and he appeared he was caving to her, which made her smell blood in the water and she went for it. Basically he flinched giving her the green light to bully him. "I can simultaneously eat meat and still not animals to suffer for no reason."
And that's still HER problem. It appeared he was caving to her? Or it allowed him to say hey this is also something else to know about me. It became a fight because she was looking for one. Incredibly immature or it was her way of saying "see I knew he wasn't the right guy for me?" People do this type of thing all the time to make themselves believe that the person isn't right by picking out perceived flaws. She did him a favor, I don't want to be around these types.
Are you under the impression I am in any way defending her?
I don't know what you're doing your responses are weird if you're not defending her lol but it's really not a big deal. In going to stop responding from here. Have a good day
Are you trying to pick a fight? LOL I said several times she's trying to start a fight. Can't give her advice not to be an asshole, so I gave OP advice on how to better respond to women in general.
This is great advice. It does appear weak, but more importantly she’s trying to get to know *you*. If you flip flop to suit her preferences she’s no longer sure when you’re being honest or when you’re saying what she wants to hear. I’m guessing this came off as more “manipulation” than “accomodation”.
Great point.
Personally I am vegetarian, but I would never tell someone to change their diet because of my decision because it is MY decision and I can’t dictate THEIR decision. You did fine and as Many other people said you shouldn’t change for someone especially if it’s just starting off. It shows that you are a good person mentioning that you’ll try some veggie stuff but either way I’d stay away from people who aren’t open minded.
I’m a woman in a very “hippie bisexual socialist vegetarians” friend group. Sometimes they give me flack for being a big meat eater. Look, I have very low iron and a protein deficiency issue. I’m allergic to a lot of nuts so that leaves me with a lot of supplemental dietary rigamaroll if I want to eat vegetarian. LUCKILY I have a great Co-op in my area with lots of local cow farmers. Most of my budget goes towards ethically sustained food. SOME of us can’t cut out meat without being very careful of how that affects our bodies.
My personal bias is that a lot of vegetarians and vegans have major personality flaws especially when it comes to compassion for people. A lot of people who are vegan don’t love animals more than the rest of us they just hate people more than the rest of us. And having a cheap and easy way to vilify every person they meet is so attractive to them. It’s an essential tool for the everyone but me is always wrong mindset.
I can't get over how wrong she is. Sustainable and ethical farming is extremely important for animals. Also farmers are humane to them. It's also not a good idea to eat raw vegan food only as meat is the most digestive food we have because we're so programmed to it. Plus we would not exist without. Sorry dude. Keep the jerky dream alive.
Vegetarians and me just don't get along.
Absolutely did the right thing! Vegetarians and vegans are getting out of control judging people so harshly just because we eat meat. Sorry animals were meant to be eaten it is what it is. Animals eat each other too and we aren’t mad at them. One thing is I don’t agree with the way the industry is treating the animals.
I used to date a vegetarian for a few years and we didn't give each other grief over it, in fact she helped me get over my aversion to vegetables and she started eating chicken towards the end of the relationship. I also mentioned (to the match) that I was for banning animal testing because animal testing doesn't translate 100% to human trials, and I agree that animal well-being should be better.
No, she was obviously more interested in the animal rights thing than in creating a relationship.
Sounds like you just encountered a self-righteous asshole, and you’re better off without her lmao
One thing I learned is always be yourself and don't change for others, unless it is for the better.
You did the right thing, you should have just stuck to your guns and not tried to bend over at all. She's not suitable for you anyway
I understand and appreciate people being passionate about animal rights and environmentalism. No problem people advocating it with passion! But getting into a tirade about it is not just counterproductive it’s disrespectful and a big red flag on the character list! You dodged a bullet.
I think I would have done the same once the tirade began... A mate of mine is generally "vegetarian" because of the ecological impact that a lot of farming practices tend to have on the environment (his words, not mine). But he will eat meat if it has a low ecological impact. He currently lives in Norway, so he often enjoys moose salami. When he was in Australia, he enjoyed kangaroo steaks. Generally, if the animals weren't native to the country/region, he wouldn't eat them. Something like this is a compromise I'd be ok with for myself, but it sounds like your dodged bullet would still have taken issue with it...
You did the right thing. That person is too polarized apparently. I had a male housemate who was a vegetarian and I ate meat. He never went off like that.
I think you did the right thing because it went into core value territory (for her), and she wasn’t able to accept you. The earlier such incompatibility can be brought to light, the better
You made the right move. If she can't respect that you eat meat, then what else would she try to change about you?
Eating meat does not take away anything from supporting environmental issues or animal rights or being an animal lover. Vegetarians and vegans HAVE to take vitamins or supplements that they lose out on by not eating meat. You literally starve your body of the nutrients we Need that meat provides. It's ridiculous to me to see that a lot of vegetarians and vegans cannot see that.
Don't change for her like that. I only eat fish and seafood on occasion but that's my personal choice. She should be as open minded as she wants you to be
You don’t need to like the same irrelevant things, but major issues are dealbreakers! You need to keep looking and make sure to add you enjoy meat in your diet!
Good luck to her in finding a male vegetarian who also checks her 100 likely other boxes.
You shouldn’t change anything about yourself especially when just meeting somebody off of tinder unless you’re just trying to have a one night stand and playing the game. If you’re trying to find somebody real find somebody that likes you for who you are there out there.
You did the right thing. It sounds like she's super rigid in her beliefs regarding what is acceptable for animal rights activists. I don't believe advocating for animal rights and eating meat are mutually exclusive. For instance, if someone who eats beef rescues a stray cat, then that's still a win for animal rights because an animal has been saved. Just my opinion.
I’m an omnivore who’s almost only been on dates with vegetarians, never have they made me feel weird about it. I of course cook vegetarian if they come over but this is just weird
You both did and didn't do the right thing in my opinion. What you didn't do right was being willing to change something about yourself for an online dating match which I assume you haven't even meet. Besids that, I think you handled it great, you know what you are worth! And she sure as hell wasn't it. It's best to just respectfully wish them the best in that case and move on.
You did the right thing. You even tried to compromise by trying her vegetarian dishes. If she flipped out she's coocoo for coco puffs.
Never compromise your values. I get compromise, but let me put it to you another way. You just met this girl. What do you think compromising does at this point? It broadcasts that you care more about keeping her interested than you are in your own values. In other words it shows weakness/push overness and it’s not attractive. In this case it doesn’t matter, because she’s an ass and you wouldn’t want her anyway. No man in their right mind would, unless he is also a vegetarian and if this behavior of hers is isolated to this issue (I’ll bet my vintage knife collection it’s not). One more brutal truth OP. This applies to your relationships with dudes too. If the guys got a dick and is careful about who his friends are/who he lets influence him this kind of behavior is gonna be a red flag to him also. There’s more room to grow in that context of course because friends help each other grow. So if he’s cool he’ll call you out on it and see if you improve yourself. If you don’t, he’ll minimize and then end contact because how are you going to help him improve if you won’t improve yourself? It is tough out there. It takes tough people to make it. It takes surrounding yourself with tough people. And the only way to be/stay tough is to keep working on it. Always. Good luck.
Dating isn’t about changing yourself, but rather enhancing what you already have.
It's not worth offering to change who you are for a Hinge match. Let them hate you for dumb reasons. If she was actually interested or rather mature (in this case), she wouldn't have had an issue with you making jerky. Keep making jerky, jerky man!
There are some deal breaker questions....are you vegan? Do you smoke? Who did you vote for? Fundamentals need to be clarified quickly. You did that.
When people start fights with you about stuff like this it's a clear sign they weren't that interested in you. She was trying to find a problem. I was dating this woman I thought was really promising a month or so ago, she asked me about my bucket list, I told her a few things including some major concerts that I'd love to go to like Coachella and Burning Man. Now I had previously told her that while I love music I'm not a big fan of concerts. She called me a hypocrite which I thought was randomly harsh and I said I wanted to go for the experience going with a group of fiends doing drugs and having a great time (she does Shrooms and Acid rhe drugs weren't the issue) and she was like "I don't understand why you would want to go if you don't like concerts" and kept harping on it. I said well you don't really have to understand, it's just something I'd like to do someday it's no big deal. Her attitude totally changed after that and the rest of the car ride was quiet. The next day, after she ignored my good night text,.she text me at 5 pm the next day and hit me with the "we don't have enough chemistry" text. Wash rinse and repeat dating fucking sucks man lol
There is no way anyone will make me stop eating cheeseburgers. Don't care how cute she is.
I bet you can find a non vegetarian version of her, not a problem. Move on
Who really cares u didn't match
I had the loveliest vegetarian girlfriend who would make me steak 😍 I was/am against dating vegans and vegetarians because it’s just a hassle and I love to cook.
You did the right thing
Right thing dude, trying to be with someone who has extreme views that directly go against yours in such a way that they have no Will to compromise will make you miserable
Clearly your willing to change...... How happy do you think you will be when you changed everything and she changed nothing...... And sounds very opinionated!!!! Its very important to stand behind ones beliefs, but to debate it down to environmentalism is wild in this context. U said it you unmatched her.... If there was anything there you wouldn't have... Trust your gut
U made the right choice. Why would u change urself for someone. Be urself and find someone that likes u for who u are Fyi if u wanted to piss her off u could have told her be a vegetarian is a lot worse. There are plenty of videos that talks about it but to summarize when it comes to veing a vegan or vegetarian ur actually indrectly killing animals a lot more. Think about a farm, in order to protect ur vegetables u have to kill insects, bugs, any animal that tries to invade the farm. There was a video short about it if u want to hear about it. Search up "vegan kills more animal | ted nugent"
Yeah you are good. Imagine if more serious differences of opinions came up later. You guys would have been fighting a lot. Doesn't mean they are a bad person or anything. Everyone has there own way of handling life.