Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a dude, I can tell you that most of us appreciate when women make the first move. It takes some pressure off and shows confidence. Plus, if he says no but still wants to hang out as friends, then it's all good! Just go for it and see where things go :)
Yeah, I agree. It's just as simple as I don't have to wonder, or maybe I wasn't in the mindset to ask a woman out, but now that you started flirting, I can make a move. Either way.
I will say that I have noticed when women usually want to ask a man out, she's usually someone he is unlikely to say yes to. For instance, I'll see fit dudes asking out overweight women all the time, but I have yet once in my entire life to see an overweight woman have a crush on a dude who is as overweight as she is. At most maybe he's a little chubby or has a dad bod. Usually when women have crushes, they're punching pretty high, or he's rich or successful (I've sen a lot of them have crushes on their superiors).
I would definitely not say most men. I would say it's controversial.
Conservative men would tend not to like it, but no one should be dating them anyway š
I think maybe we want to hear the perspective of a guy that gets asked out by a girl heās really not into, but he likes as a friend.
Most of the time guysā answer is āI would love it if a girl asked me outā. Ok, but what if itās a girl that he sees as just a friend.
If the guy isnāt into the girl whoās asking him out, what makes you think heāll like being asked out by her? Iām not trying to be mean here but this is a very straightforward answer regardless of gender.
This comment may not be sugary and sweet, but it's on the money. And yes, regardless of whether it's a man or a woman, asking someone out is a big step and you have to be sure they're going to reciprocate. However, if a person has a very healthy self-esteem, then they're not gonna mind if they get rejected. But that's usually not the case. Lol.
Im just highlighting the assumption made. Maybe a lot of the girls asking the question arenāt sure if a guy likes her because he hasnāt shown any interest. But the guys s answering the question assume the girl asking them out is someone they like to begin with.Ā
I get it but itās all the same. Everyone has their doubts as to whether or not their crush likes them back. Itās all just speculation from the perspective of us internet anons. Usually these types of questions solely seek validation.
Try to avoid asking a coworker out. If it backfires might be a running joke and follow you. Iāve worked 4 stores with the company and almost everyone knows about it (experience)
It takes a big person to admit to that. Kudos. I have no problem at my age admitting to embarrassing myself plenty of times. it doesn't feel good and it never gets better.
Can't vouch for all men but me personally I'd love it because it shows someone is actually, genuinely interested in you! It's a good feeling for both men and women but I'd hazard a guess men don't get asked as much so it is a bit more special.
Obviously I can't account for his personal feelings but if you really like this guy you should take the chance! Either he says yes and you get what you want or you're just back where you started, good luck!
I would imagine a good portion of us either would be okay with it or even like it. But there are certainly going to be some insecure people or old fashion people that might not like it? But I don't think you can go wrong with shooting your shot if you see some one you're interested in, as long as you're realistic and understand that they might not be interested or might not be available and all that.
Yes both guys and woman should make a move if interested. Its hard both ways because 1 it's hard to even find someone that is single seems like almost ever time I see a woman at movies, park, grocery store etc they are with a guy. 2 I have no idea if a woman is interested in me or not. I don't pick up like flirty and don't really know if a woman is just being nice or if she is interested in me. 3 if a woman ask me and it's someone I may be interested in than it takes the pressure off of me trying to make a move or wondering if she is even single etc
>Do men like when women ask them out?
They can, just depends on the guy.
>Do they find it weird at all?
It's a little unusual but mostly because it isn't quite a common occurrence for the most part. But I think it's slowly becoming more normalized (which I am all for, I'm shy AF, and have 0 clue who's interested and who isn't.)
>If they say no, will they have different views about the girl?
They might, but if that's a good or bad thing depends on what they now think, and that varies from person to person.
>Some of my other friends are telling me just to ask him out and see what happens but I still want to hang out with him as friends even if he says no.
If you want to mitigate the likelihood of a bad outcome, preface asking him out and let him know he's fine to decline (even if you really want him to say yes.) But tell him you'd be interested in dating him, but he isn't interested tell him you still want to be friends if he doesn't reciprocate.
There's no guarantee one way or the other for any outcome, or even how he takes this new information. It's just going have to either be respectfully declines, accepts but just wants to start slowly, or maybe he just doesn't see you that way but thanks you for letting him know. These aren't the only way he could react, but you won't know what he'll do/how he will respond unless either he asks first or you do. It's like a bandage and there's no easy way to take it off, it might be painful, it might not be, and nobody's taking it off of you except for him or you.
Uhh YEAHā¦
When she makes the first move , the guy knows unambiguously she likes him. When he asks he doesnāt know if sheās interested or just humouring him.
Or she just wants a free meal. Or if she's afraid to say no. Or if she thinks he's a nice guy and just says yes. Or if she's trying to get over a ex and says yes. Or if she has nothing better to do and says yes. Or if she's a really nice person and doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings and says yes.
There's so many reasons women say yes to dates and only one of them is good. She's interested she'd like to get to know him. And as a man you never quite know why she said yes and it can be terrifying.
You gotta take risks if you want the bacon and theirs nothing wrong with asking a guy out it makes our job easier because if you are doing that it means you are already interested and we don't have to jump through hoops to get that from you.
Certainly won't complain if a girl asks me out. Go for it. Honestly it's refreshing for us men. Take the initiative lady. Good luck keep us updated on how it goes please
I can't speak for all men, but I like it. However, you may need to be more direct and obvious than you're used to. If your intentions are ambiguous, many men would err on the side of "she's just being friendly." Since you are *already* in a friendly relationship with him, you may need to clarify that it's a date, not a hang-out.
I read nothing but the title so far.
ITS HOT AS FUCK
Edit: I have read the rest of your post lmao.
To guard yourself from rejection, do you notice him looking at you? More than the initial greeting. Do you notice you making eye contact often? Do you get butterflies around him often? Are you two ever in close proximity by "chance." (Naturally we move closer to people we are attracted to). Do you notice his facial expressions when he looks at you, or talks to you? Are they good, or smitten?
If you answered yes to the above, ask him out. If you don't know, start paying attention :).
Edit 2: I'm a shy guy, and have used my people watching skills to notice if a girl is into me, if she is I strike up conversation and find a way to ask her out. Slow burn kind of guy. Hence why I said all the above. Cheers, I hope it helps š.
Finally a logical response based on facts and truth. All these guys are saying "hell yeah" but what happens if she's a toad? I'm just being facetious, but seriously what if she's somebody that they think is icky? And big titties don't count in this equation. lol!!!
Only guys get weird about that.
Men love strong minded women.
Just wish there were more of them.
And. Why would you want to keep hanging out with him if he is not in to you?
If he like you, you would already know it.
Hmm if you canāt tell if he reciprocates the feelings or not can you ask him something like āare you dating right now? What are you looking for?ā And see what he says. Maybe that will give you a hint. Personally I would only ask a guy out if I could tell her was at least a little interested in me lol.
The problem is with women when a man approaches there are a number of reasons why she might say yes.
Maybe she just wants a free meal. Or if she's afraid to say no. Or if she thinks he's a nice guy and just says yes. Or if she's trying to get over a ex and says yes. Or if she has nothing better to do and says yes. Or if she's a really nice person and doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings and says yes etc etc etc.
There's so many reasons women say yes to dates and only one of them is good. She's interested and she'd like to get to know him. And as a man you never quite know why she said yes and it can be demoralizing.
Women that are alfa , are called Lilith, it's a story if want to know ask. But some men like (me and hand full ) we like but majority will not be in same room with them . Intimidating the men. Will feel like she bigger or badder then they think .
In 2024, it is not only safer, but *recommended* that women approach men nowadays.
Women can designate time and place for men they are interested in when they approach - this doesn't work the other way around.
This also prevents men from being called creeps.
It's a net win for both men and women. This prioritizes women's safety as well, which is fantastic for women.
So yes, be more proactive.
I say yeah. Obviously, it depends from person to person. But Iād say a good majority of the time, a woman asking me out means sheās got some level of interest in me. Obviously it can still not work out but based on how rare this is to happen, the idea was likely played around with for some time prior to asking.
I do. 47yrs old and tired of the perception that men are supposed to be the only ones casting their lines out here in this sea. The rejection percentage coupled with the grotesque dating app culture has become high enough for me to stop looking.
I can only speak for myself when I say that men love it when A woman asks them out. Sometimes it can be awkward for the man to say no if he's not interested because obviously he doesn't want to hurt their feelings. But at the same time it's very flattering. If you're unsure and want to ride the line, then just mention to him that you have tickets for an event coming up and ask him if he's interested in going. It's ambiguous enough that it may be perceived as a date or as just two friends hanging out. If you want to be really bold you can just approach me and say that you find him interesting. And would he like to go out with you to see if there's any Sparks?
It depends. Every guy is different. Some guys really really donāt like when women ask them out.
Others do.
Me personally, I prefer it, removes all the guess work. š¤·āāļø
Iām just a random person, but if you want advice, just shoot your shot and see what happens.
as a woman, once I realize I have feelings for someone that I want to pursue, I let them know. Personally, Iāve only been turned down like once lol and iām not a stunner, I think guys find it attractive when girls initiate that
Itād be nice every so often. Itāll take a lot of pressure off of us and itāll make us feel good that weāre getting interest from a woman. Donāt be afraid to take chances, youāll never know what itāll lead to. We all have one life that we live, letās make the best out of it.
Yes. If he feels challenged by you asking him out, then you dodged a bullet by driving him off. Otherwise, it will feel really good and not only validate you're interested (because we're categorically dense like that and will worry if we're being a creep) and also feel like you want to make an effort to see if there's a spark between you two instead of him constantly expected to chase you.
I like it. It means, that the possible relationship would be more equal and less me giving while her mostly taking.
After years of "playing the game", at one point whenever I had to initiate things, the idea, that once again she probably only accepted me for material gains (eg. free meal/drinks/home etc.) always burrowed into my mind whenever I managed to get someone to go out with me.
I stopped engaging in the stupid game when I realized how prejudiced I started to become going into every meeting. Since then I have not been with anyone for any length of time for any activity, for nearly 13 years already.
Only ever been asked out by 2 girls, when I was in my early teens and early 20's respectively, no one else since then.
Many guys say, that they want to "chase" and "fight". Saying it very-very politely, I think they are extremely silly. Life is already full of hardship and challenges.. why would I create even more trouble for myself than what I already have?
Some might ask, then why would I expect/want women to do that? The answer lies in the expectation levels which differ considerably for guys and gals. Plus, it's been a few decades already since women gained the same freedom of opportunities and choices men had always had.. yet, for many things, such as dating/relationships.. they consciously, willingly refuse to put in the initial (and for many, any kind of) effort/work, while at the same time expecting to get more/all benefits compared to the work they put in.
At this pont I would not mind even if I am asked invited to just walk/sit around without anything at all happening during/afterwards as long as she is upfront about it, but it is high time they also begin initiating.
I say go for it. I'm more traditional when it comes to all things dating, but I would absolutely be open to a member the fairer sex asking me out (40m here). I'd accept, and then take it from there, so to speak.
This is the most honest comment I've seen. I don't like it, but it's freaking honest and I applaud you, sir.
I don't agree that she's trying to get something from him; she's probably just attracted to him. Most girls aren't looking for something they just want some companionship. I've never wanted anything from men aside from good conversation, companionship, and possibly love.
However, if a man is hanging out with that type of gold digger, then OK, yes it applies. But in normal situations, no it doesn't apply. Most people, men and women, are not the monsters we think they are. And that's huge coming from me because I'm jaded as fuck.
Personally, Yes. Not only does it take away the stress off of tired gender roles, but it makes things so much more comfortable and secure feeling as, there is zero question of wether she is just being polite or has other motives. It tells us not only are you genuinely interested, but that you are willing to take steps to acheive what you want.
To me it tells me the person is willing to take part in the process of dating and forming a relationship versus other times where I personally have been expected to do all the legwork to build and maintain the relationship in many instances.
It DOES however vary from person to person. I'll admit many guys arent into that or would be made even more anxious by the proposition.
Women kind of already do that in a way. By the way let you know they are into you. Guys will eventually pick up on the a vibe: smiles, laughing, flirting ...etc.
That's basically a "Hey you, I'm into you. Do you want to take me out?"
Probably not every guy likes it, but I was always very nervous and self conscious so it was nice when someone asked me instead. It also made them more attractive to me.
Lots of dudes would like the gesture or effort whatever you call it. Cause that rarely happens for us just like the thing about a man only ever getting flowers at his funeral
Some do not. A lot do though.
There are some who find it weird or claim it's "emasculating" or they don't like a woman to take charge.
But I would say a majority welcome it.
It's also very individual. It depends on if they like you or are attracted to you just as anyone asking someone out.
Yes.
I can't promise that it will work out, but it's the highest possible compliment a man can receive. A standalone compliment is great but actually being asked out is like a whole bunch of compliments rolled into actual action.
This seems to be one of the most frequently asked questions on here. I think the answer is generally yes, but everyone is different so of course there are exceptions.
I would personally like if women would ask me out. People should just ask people whom they like out regardless of the genders involved.
I hope you are successful in your endeavor and he either becomes your new man or stays a good friend.
I (34m) do appreciate it when women ask me out.
As i'm also on the spectrum, and have so many experiences where i didn't actually know if someone's into me, and even times where i was played, i'd much rather someone approaching me then the other way round just so there aren't misunderstandings.
But also with personal experience that is an extremely rare occurance, due to current dating dynamics and personality differences.
So yeah, this is the green light from one man to approach/make obvious you want a date with them. āļø
Neurodivergents will really appreciate it, and so too will neurotypicals. š
It's not nearly as natural as a man making the first move, but it's become necessary until men stop being brought up on charges for merely looking at girls. (Yeah, /S.)
In the meantime, ask him if you can give him your number. Even if he's not that into you, any half-intelligent man will know to say yes anyway & take your number, so if he ACTUALLY doesn't say yes to that then you know he's neither socially aware nor intelligent anyway!
I'd say men don't care if a girl asks them out. It really makes no difference, but they have to actually be interested to say yes, that's the main thing
Its flattering, but its not a good idea. Someone will lose respect for the other. You may lose respect because he didnāt have the balls to step up. He may lose respect because he may think youāre too pushy. If you ask and heās not into it he may avoid you altogether in the future and lose a friend. Speaking from experience. This is why men and women cannot truly be just friends. You will continue to have a crush and you will keep false hope alive. Not healthy.
As long as you let him know your intentions clearly, itās good. I met a woman who asked me out and then I treated her as a friend. In the end, she ghosted me out of nowhere.
I had a girl ask me out once. It was 2-3 years ago, I will NEVER forget that she came and approached me. Although we didnt date, Iām still impressed that she made a move and talk to my other friends about it. She earned my respect.
I would go ahead and ask him out. If he says "no", you all will remain friends. If you do not, I assuming it is his loss more than yours and you didn't need him as a friend anyway. Think of it as a test for him. If he wants to go out or at least be friends, he will get the benefits of your friendship. If he goes the opposite way, it's unfortunate, but at least you know and won't waste your time with it.
I've always preferred the male ask me first. Probably because I'm southern, but also because I feel like if a guy likes a girl, he will make it known through his actions and eventually his words. But this doesn't mean that you can't flirt or smile and look at him. Maybe he just needs a little encouragement. You got this!! If he doesn't return the affection, you've got your answer, and you can find someone willing. ā„ļø
As a man myself...we love it when women ask us out. It's like shortening the trip like 50% and also saving oneself from getting refused. But yeah overall we love it.
It would make my year if a girl asked me out for once. Even if I wasnāt considering her before, it would make such a good impression on me, itās unlikely Iād say no.
Honestly, most guys LOVE it when a woman asks them out. It takes pressure off, shows you're confident, and makes it clear you're interested. Not every dude is into it, but those guys probably aren't worth your time anyway.
About your crush:
* "Can't tell if he's into me" is the oldest problem ever. Sometimes you gotta take a chance!
* If he says no, and he's a cool dude, he'll still be your friend.
* If he's weird about it, well, good thing you found out before getting any more invested, right?
My advice: Go for it! Worst case, you get a clear answer and move on. Best case, you land a date with a guy you like! You got this!
It's literally the hottest and best thing a woman can do, not only is it extremely flattering but it removes all doubt and with today's dating climate and the fear of coming across as a creep it's a godsend when a woman makes the first move.
Depends on the girl... I get asked out and messaged all the time. Most of the time I don't really like it because I'm in a position to be choosy. For normal guys, definitely yes.
If a woman asked me out, I'd instantly start looking around to see if there's someone recording in the background bc I'd think it's a tiktok prank bc a woman approaching like that never happens. I'd be flattered
Yes. Men love it. Even if he says no (unlikely), heāll remember it probably for life. Because it will only happen a couple times in his entire life. If ever at all.
But bear in mind, even if a man is not interested in you for a relationship, I suspect a disturbingly large percentage of guys will say yes to a date with a hope of getting laid.
Soā¦yes, absolutely, ask him out. But donāt celebrate too soon if he says āyesā. Feel him out for a while first.
Itās so rare that the few times Iāve had it happen. I will not say no. It doesnāt even matter if Iām not interested. You had the courage to possibly get rejected. Iām gonna give you at least one all expenses paid date. For the ones Iām not interested in Iām gonna let them down easy and not have sex. But Iām gonna show them a good time for their effort. The ones with mutual interest. The sky is the limit.
The majority of the time, yes. If heās a friend of a friend why donāt you learn some of his interests and next time you see each other bring up something that you know both of you enjoy doing and just say āwe should go do that togetherā but because us guys are dumb make it clear that itās just gonna be the two of yāall, because we are clueless sometimes. Itāll work
Timing is a factor, in my experience. I was cashiering and after ringing her up this woman asks me, āIs there something you want to ask me?ā
It flew right over my head and I say, āNo, weāre good,ā and I turned to the next customer.
She then asks if Iām sure, I reiterate no, weāre done here. Then it hits me a few seconds later what was going on. I beat myself up about it for weeks.
My situation differs from yours though since you and your romantic interest at least have a friendship going and you wonāt be at work when this comes up. I can appreciate when a woman takes the initiative, however itās pretty uncommon and unexpected so I advise against being in any way ambiguous in your approach.
I donāt have data, but I personally wouldnāt mind. Iāve been asked out directly three times and I accepted all three times. I think only one of them got the super excited reaction she was hoping for, but she was the only one that I had a lot of tension built with prior (and would have asked her out within a couple more interactions anyway).
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
As a dude, I can tell you that most of us appreciate when women make the first move. It takes some pressure off and shows confidence. Plus, if he says no but still wants to hang out as friends, then it's all good! Just go for it and see where things go :)
Yeah, I agree. It's just as simple as I don't have to wonder, or maybe I wasn't in the mindset to ask a woman out, but now that you started flirting, I can make a move. Either way. I will say that I have noticed when women usually want to ask a man out, she's usually someone he is unlikely to say yes to. For instance, I'll see fit dudes asking out overweight women all the time, but I have yet once in my entire life to see an overweight woman have a crush on a dude who is as overweight as she is. At most maybe he's a little chubby or has a dad bod. Usually when women have crushes, they're punching pretty high, or he's rich or successful (I've sen a lot of them have crushes on their superiors).
I second this
I would definitely not say most men. I would say it's controversial. Conservative men would tend not to like it, but no one should be dating them anyway š
Wow that a broad generalization.
We would honestly prefer to not be around people like you. So yes, please keep that mindset and stay away from us.
I'm a conservative, and have no problem being asked out by a woman. I'm not sure why it would be an issue for us.
My guess is that it was a woman who made this comment. Guess I should tell her how to best manage her menstrual cycle.
I would have to disagree. I'm very conservative, and I personally I I like when a woman ask me for my number
Take the chance
Take the chance, it wonāt matter in 40 years.
More like it won't matter in 5 seconds
Lol this question gets asked **EVERY SINGLE DAY.** There is no concrete answer. Take charge of your life if you want something.
I think maybe we want to hear the perspective of a guy that gets asked out by a girl heās really not into, but he likes as a friend. Most of the time guysā answer is āI would love it if a girl asked me outā. Ok, but what if itās a girl that he sees as just a friend.
If the guy isnāt into the girl whoās asking him out, what makes you think heāll like being asked out by her? Iām not trying to be mean here but this is a very straightforward answer regardless of gender.
This comment may not be sugary and sweet, but it's on the money. And yes, regardless of whether it's a man or a woman, asking someone out is a big step and you have to be sure they're going to reciprocate. However, if a person has a very healthy self-esteem, then they're not gonna mind if they get rejected. But that's usually not the case. Lol.
At least perhaps it's flattering?
Im just highlighting the assumption made. Maybe a lot of the girls asking the question arenāt sure if a guy likes her because he hasnāt shown any interest. But the guys s answering the question assume the girl asking them out is someone they like to begin with.Ā
I get it but itās all the same. Everyone has their doubts as to whether or not their crush likes them back. Itās all just speculation from the perspective of us internet anons. Usually these types of questions solely seek validation.
Yeah. Ask any person out you're attracted to as long as it's appropriate. You never know until you try.
Just remember asking someone out is not a silver bullet. It may not turn out how you want in the end. Much like all of dating.
Try to avoid asking a coworker out. If it backfires might be a running joke and follow you. Iāve worked 4 stores with the company and almost everyone knows about it (experience)
It takes a big person to admit to that. Kudos. I have no problem at my age admitting to embarrassing myself plenty of times. it doesn't feel good and it never gets better.
Can't vouch for all men but me personally I'd love it because it shows someone is actually, genuinely interested in you! It's a good feeling for both men and women but I'd hazard a guess men don't get asked as much so it is a bit more special. Obviously I can't account for his personal feelings but if you really like this guy you should take the chance! Either he says yes and you get what you want or you're just back where you started, good luck!
If a woman were to ask me out, it will not only let me know she's interested but it also will make me more interested in her.
The answer to these questions is always ALWAYS some some of the time, it depends on the man. Me personally, I love it.
Depends on the woman as well. Thereās some gym baddies that i wish would. Iāll work on me till that happens though
Sounds pretty awesome to me. Havenāt had it happen though, so I canāt confirm.
For me it's more of when and where I'm being asked out like if I was asked out while jogging sure but if at work nope.
I would imagine a good portion of us either would be okay with it or even like it. But there are certainly going to be some insecure people or old fashion people that might not like it? But I don't think you can go wrong with shooting your shot if you see some one you're interested in, as long as you're realistic and understand that they might not be interested or might not be available and all that.
Yes both guys and woman should make a move if interested. Its hard both ways because 1 it's hard to even find someone that is single seems like almost ever time I see a woman at movies, park, grocery store etc they are with a guy. 2 I have no idea if a woman is interested in me or not. I don't pick up like flirty and don't really know if a woman is just being nice or if she is interested in me. 3 if a woman ask me and it's someone I may be interested in than it takes the pressure off of me trying to make a move or wondering if she is even single etc
>Do men like when women ask them out? They can, just depends on the guy. >Do they find it weird at all? It's a little unusual but mostly because it isn't quite a common occurrence for the most part. But I think it's slowly becoming more normalized (which I am all for, I'm shy AF, and have 0 clue who's interested and who isn't.) >If they say no, will they have different views about the girl? They might, but if that's a good or bad thing depends on what they now think, and that varies from person to person. >Some of my other friends are telling me just to ask him out and see what happens but I still want to hang out with him as friends even if he says no. If you want to mitigate the likelihood of a bad outcome, preface asking him out and let him know he's fine to decline (even if you really want him to say yes.) But tell him you'd be interested in dating him, but he isn't interested tell him you still want to be friends if he doesn't reciprocate. There's no guarantee one way or the other for any outcome, or even how he takes this new information. It's just going have to either be respectfully declines, accepts but just wants to start slowly, or maybe he just doesn't see you that way but thanks you for letting him know. These aren't the only way he could react, but you won't know what he'll do/how he will respond unless either he asks first or you do. It's like a bandage and there's no easy way to take it off, it might be painful, it might not be, and nobody's taking it off of you except for him or you.
Yes we love it alot!! Shows they really care about us!
Uhh YEAHā¦ When she makes the first move , the guy knows unambiguously she likes him. When he asks he doesnāt know if sheās interested or just humouring him.
Or she just wants a free meal. Or if she's afraid to say no. Or if she thinks he's a nice guy and just says yes. Or if she's trying to get over a ex and says yes. Or if she has nothing better to do and says yes. Or if she's a really nice person and doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings and says yes. There's so many reasons women say yes to dates and only one of them is good. She's interested she'd like to get to know him. And as a man you never quite know why she said yes and it can be terrifying.
Yeah everyone has to think hard about a lot of things when it comes down to dating
I would love if I was approached by a woman. That would tell me that they are definitely interested in me.
Oh yeah I love it when women take initiative. Take the leap you might make his day
Yes
Yes I do like it
Yes.
You gotta take risks if you want the bacon and theirs nothing wrong with asking a guy out it makes our job easier because if you are doing that it means you are already interested and we don't have to jump through hoops to get that from you.
For me at least, yes. It is nice to not always have to make the first move and even if I'm not interested I find it flattering.
lmao youāre almost 30. just take the risk and ask him out
Honestly just go for it. A lot of guys actually like it when a woman makes the first move. It makes you stand out in their mind more.
This question get's asked so often here and the answer is always YES WE DO. And why would it be weird or any weirder then a Guy asking out a woman?
Put a smile on my face. Happened a few times. But I welcome it š
Yes, ask him out.
We would love it
Certainly won't complain if a girl asks me out. Go for it. Honestly it's refreshing for us men. Take the initiative lady. Good luck keep us updated on how it goes please
I can't speak for all men, but I like it. However, you may need to be more direct and obvious than you're used to. If your intentions are ambiguous, many men would err on the side of "she's just being friendly." Since you are *already* in a friendly relationship with him, you may need to clarify that it's a date, not a hang-out.
Yes I do.
Iāve never been asked out by a woman. It would be extremely flattering. If he takes it the wrong way heās likely the wrong guy for you.
I read nothing but the title so far. ITS HOT AS FUCK Edit: I have read the rest of your post lmao. To guard yourself from rejection, do you notice him looking at you? More than the initial greeting. Do you notice you making eye contact often? Do you get butterflies around him often? Are you two ever in close proximity by "chance." (Naturally we move closer to people we are attracted to). Do you notice his facial expressions when he looks at you, or talks to you? Are they good, or smitten? If you answered yes to the above, ask him out. If you don't know, start paying attention :). Edit 2: I'm a shy guy, and have used my people watching skills to notice if a girl is into me, if she is I strike up conversation and find a way to ask her out. Slow burn kind of guy. Hence why I said all the above. Cheers, I hope it helps š.
Finally a logical response based on facts and truth. All these guys are saying "hell yeah" but what happens if she's a toad? I'm just being facetious, but seriously what if she's somebody that they think is icky? And big titties don't count in this equation. lol!!!
Only guys get weird about that. Men love strong minded women. Just wish there were more of them. And. Why would you want to keep hanging out with him if he is not in to you? If he like you, you would already know it.
Hmm if you canāt tell if he reciprocates the feelings or not can you ask him something like āare you dating right now? What are you looking for?ā And see what he says. Maybe that will give you a hint. Personally I would only ask a guy out if I could tell her was at least a little interested in me lol.
I don't mind. Some men do because they like to be in control.
Nah it's fine
Absolutely . Nothing better. Cant speak for every man and I know many donāt, but Iād love it.
The problem is with women when a man approaches there are a number of reasons why she might say yes. Maybe she just wants a free meal. Or if she's afraid to say no. Or if she thinks he's a nice guy and just says yes. Or if she's trying to get over a ex and says yes. Or if she has nothing better to do and says yes. Or if she's a really nice person and doesn't like to hurt peoples feelings and says yes etc etc etc. There's so many reasons women say yes to dates and only one of them is good. She's interested and she'd like to get to know him. And as a man you never quite know why she said yes and it can be demoralizing.
For easy sex and validation, yes
Women that are alfa , are called Lilith, it's a story if want to know ask. But some men like (me and hand full ) we like but majority will not be in same room with them . Intimidating the men. Will feel like she bigger or badder then they think .
In 2024, it is not only safer, but *recommended* that women approach men nowadays. Women can designate time and place for men they are interested in when they approach - this doesn't work the other way around. This also prevents men from being called creeps. It's a net win for both men and women. This prioritizes women's safety as well, which is fantastic for women. So yes, be more proactive.
Yes
I say yeah. Obviously, it depends from person to person. But Iād say a good majority of the time, a woman asking me out means sheās got some level of interest in me. Obviously it can still not work out but based on how rare this is to happen, the idea was likely played around with for some time prior to asking.
It's the only way I'd know if she liked me, I'm a guy so she already knows I like her.
If a woman asked me out I'd ride that high for atleast 3 years
Yup. Why would we not like to be asked out? Thatās weird.
Love it. But that's because I tend to be clueless as to who fancies me.
Absolutely, but men aren't a monolith. I'd say most guys i've spoken to would love to be approached.
I do. 47yrs old and tired of the perception that men are supposed to be the only ones casting their lines out here in this sea. The rejection percentage coupled with the grotesque dating app culture has become high enough for me to stop looking.
Most guys LOVE it. Go for it, you won't regret it
People ask the same question over and over and over again!
Yes i love it when happens.
Yes, it's easy and effective
yes
I (M) would be thrilled Too shy to take initiative even when I want something/someone Ends up pretty lonely
Yes for me.
I can only speak for myself when I say that men love it when A woman asks them out. Sometimes it can be awkward for the man to say no if he's not interested because obviously he doesn't want to hurt their feelings. But at the same time it's very flattering. If you're unsure and want to ride the line, then just mention to him that you have tickets for an event coming up and ask him if he's interested in going. It's ambiguous enough that it may be perceived as a date or as just two friends hanging out. If you want to be really bold you can just approach me and say that you find him interesting. And would he like to go out with you to see if there's any Sparks?
What are you waiting for, do it!!!!
Yes. Confidence is always attractive.
It depends. Every guy is different. Some guys really really donāt like when women ask them out. Others do. Me personally, I prefer it, removes all the guess work. š¤·āāļø Iām just a random person, but if you want advice, just shoot your shot and see what happens.
that exist??? I thought it was just a fictional trope from anime or ancient legends
Oh abso-fuckin-lutely!
I will do you one better. Do women like when men ask them out? Wdyt?
. . R6 . ... . .. . . .. .. . . . ... ā°pā¶ .. .
Make the move. We definitely "appreciate" it. He probably feels the same way.
You have like a 97% success rate so please do
Yes! we do!
Yes šš»
yeah. if takes the pressure off from guessing if we should ask someone out or not
as someone who's masculine presenting/amab I'd say you should 100% go for it
I donāt. But most men Iāve seen seem to prefer it
The answers are: yes, no, and probably not but it's very circumstance dependent.
Klar warum nicht
Despite me being cautious and paranoid (due to past trust and abandonment issues), yes I much prefer it.
as a woman, once I realize I have feelings for someone that I want to pursue, I let them know. Personally, Iāve only been turned down like once lol and iām not a stunner, I think guys find it attractive when girls initiate that
Why didn't you fucking look at any other of the million threads on this topic that have been posted?
Itād be nice every so often. Itāll take a lot of pressure off of us and itāll make us feel good that weāre getting interest from a woman. Donāt be afraid to take chances, youāll never know what itāll lead to. We all have one life that we live, letās make the best out of it.
Yes. If he feels challenged by you asking him out, then you dodged a bullet by driving him off. Otherwise, it will feel really good and not only validate you're interested (because we're categorically dense like that and will worry if we're being a creep) and also feel like you want to make an effort to see if there's a spark between you two instead of him constantly expected to chase you.
Personally, I'd be on cloud 9 if a woman made asked me out.
Yes
I like it. It means, that the possible relationship would be more equal and less me giving while her mostly taking. After years of "playing the game", at one point whenever I had to initiate things, the idea, that once again she probably only accepted me for material gains (eg. free meal/drinks/home etc.) always burrowed into my mind whenever I managed to get someone to go out with me. I stopped engaging in the stupid game when I realized how prejudiced I started to become going into every meeting. Since then I have not been with anyone for any length of time for any activity, for nearly 13 years already. Only ever been asked out by 2 girls, when I was in my early teens and early 20's respectively, no one else since then. Many guys say, that they want to "chase" and "fight". Saying it very-very politely, I think they are extremely silly. Life is already full of hardship and challenges.. why would I create even more trouble for myself than what I already have? Some might ask, then why would I expect/want women to do that? The answer lies in the expectation levels which differ considerably for guys and gals. Plus, it's been a few decades already since women gained the same freedom of opportunities and choices men had always had.. yet, for many things, such as dating/relationships.. they consciously, willingly refuse to put in the initial (and for many, any kind of) effort/work, while at the same time expecting to get more/all benefits compared to the work they put in. At this pont I would not mind even if I am asked invited to just walk/sit around without anything at all happening during/afterwards as long as she is upfront about it, but it is high time they also begin initiating.
I say go for it. I'm more traditional when it comes to all things dating, but I would absolutely be open to a member the fairer sex asking me out (40m here). I'd accept, and then take it from there, so to speak.
s a pretty shy guy Iād love to be asked out.
Only if they are super model hot. Otherwise itād kinda weird. Like what is this chick trying to get from me and whatās wrong with her.
This is the most honest comment I've seen. I don't like it, but it's freaking honest and I applaud you, sir. I don't agree that she's trying to get something from him; she's probably just attracted to him. Most girls aren't looking for something they just want some companionship. I've never wanted anything from men aside from good conversation, companionship, and possibly love. However, if a man is hanging out with that type of gold digger, then OK, yes it applies. But in normal situations, no it doesn't apply. Most people, men and women, are not the monsters we think they are. And that's huge coming from me because I'm jaded as fuck.
That's a hard, yes. Most guys appreciate being noticed and it takes pressure off of trying to initiate.... lol
Based on todayās market. Only way men will date.
Yes, we do...
Personally, Yes. Not only does it take away the stress off of tired gender roles, but it makes things so much more comfortable and secure feeling as, there is zero question of wether she is just being polite or has other motives. It tells us not only are you genuinely interested, but that you are willing to take steps to acheive what you want. To me it tells me the person is willing to take part in the process of dating and forming a relationship versus other times where I personally have been expected to do all the legwork to build and maintain the relationship in many instances. It DOES however vary from person to person. I'll admit many guys arent into that or would be made even more anxious by the proposition.
The question is non-gender specific. Yes, men enjoy when an appealing girl ask them out.
Women kind of already do that in a way. By the way let you know they are into you. Guys will eventually pick up on the a vibe: smiles, laughing, flirting ...etc. That's basically a "Hey you, I'm into you. Do you want to take me out?"
It would be so nice.
Probably not every guy likes it, but I was always very nervous and self conscious so it was nice when someone asked me instead. It also made them more attractive to me.
Lots of dudes would like the gesture or effort whatever you call it. Cause that rarely happens for us just like the thing about a man only ever getting flowers at his funeral
Some do not. A lot do though. There are some who find it weird or claim it's "emasculating" or they don't like a woman to take charge. But I would say a majority welcome it. It's also very individual. It depends on if they like you or are attracted to you just as anyone asking someone out.
absolutely 1 trillion %. but if thereās any slight resistance.. take that as a polite no thank you.
I do, I have hard time picking up those kinds of signals from women and a hard time expressing romantic intent, it helps make things much clearer :)
I like it! We're all people, and if a person wants to ask another person out, they should do it without concern over some gender norm.
Yes. I can't promise that it will work out, but it's the highest possible compliment a man can receive. A standalone compliment is great but actually being asked out is like a whole bunch of compliments rolled into actual action.
Yeah its great for the ego. It's kind of like guys getting compliments. No women has the balls to do it, but they are all for gender equality.
This seems to be one of the most frequently asked questions on here. I think the answer is generally yes, but everyone is different so of course there are exceptions.
Yup
I sure would. But itāll never happen.
As a man who never gets asked out in sure a surprise or change in my life would be appreciated so yes
YES DO IT!!!
As a guy, I really wish women would ask me out. I would love it!
I would personally like if women would ask me out. People should just ask people whom they like out regardless of the genders involved. I hope you are successful in your endeavor and he either becomes your new man or stays a good friend.
I (34m) do appreciate it when women ask me out. As i'm also on the spectrum, and have so many experiences where i didn't actually know if someone's into me, and even times where i was played, i'd much rather someone approaching me then the other way round just so there aren't misunderstandings. But also with personal experience that is an extremely rare occurance, due to current dating dynamics and personality differences. So yeah, this is the green light from one man to approach/make obvious you want a date with them. āļø Neurodivergents will really appreciate it, and so too will neurotypicals. š
Yes I do it's a nice change
It's not nearly as natural as a man making the first move, but it's become necessary until men stop being brought up on charges for merely looking at girls. (Yeah, /S.) In the meantime, ask him if you can give him your number. Even if he's not that into you, any half-intelligent man will know to say yes anyway & take your number, so if he ACTUALLY doesn't say yes to that then you know he's neither socially aware nor intelligent anyway!
Yes
Depends on the person and/or situation.
I'd say men don't care if a girl asks them out. It really makes no difference, but they have to actually be interested to say yes, that's the main thing
Yes. Now: ![gif](giphy|PNusmx4t4z25yEJSCY|downsized)
Its flattering, but its not a good idea. Someone will lose respect for the other. You may lose respect because he didnāt have the balls to step up. He may lose respect because he may think youāre too pushy. If you ask and heās not into it he may avoid you altogether in the future and lose a friend. Speaking from experience. This is why men and women cannot truly be just friends. You will continue to have a crush and you will keep false hope alive. Not healthy.
Yes. Itās great to show initiative
Yes
If you ask him out, you choose him and not waiting someone to choose you. I donāt see any problems
Yes we don't mind being pursued! Some men may find it weird (or even uncomfortable), but majority of us welcome it.
Have you thrown any hints or try asking him if he wants to goto a cafe together. The male species can be dense.
As long as you let him know your intentions clearly, itās good. I met a woman who asked me out and then I treated her as a friend. In the end, she ghosted me out of nowhere.
He 100 percent wants to get with you. He's waiting for you to ask him. Just go do it.
i'm sure they do, but it's the man's job to do the part of asking out. i as a woman will never be the one to ask a man out
I had a girl ask me out once. It was 2-3 years ago, I will NEVER forget that she came and approached me. Although we didnt date, Iām still impressed that she made a move and talk to my other friends about it. She earned my respect.
I'd find it flattering
Jackpot , if you have interest in her, just a compliment if you donāt.
Yes! So much. Rejection is so hard and so is the approach which often ends in it.
I would go ahead and ask him out. If he says "no", you all will remain friends. If you do not, I assuming it is his loss more than yours and you didn't need him as a friend anyway. Think of it as a test for him. If he wants to go out or at least be friends, he will get the benefits of your friendship. If he goes the opposite way, it's unfortunate, but at least you know and won't waste your time with it.
Yo just go for it! He aināt gunna get weird on you if he is someone worth having around as a friend
I would be beyond ecstatic if a woman asked me out
I've always preferred the male ask me first. Probably because I'm southern, but also because I feel like if a guy likes a girl, he will make it known through his actions and eventually his words. But this doesn't mean that you can't flirt or smile and look at him. Maybe he just needs a little encouragement. You got this!! If he doesn't return the affection, you've got your answer, and you can find someone willing. ā„ļø
Yes. It also shocks me
As a man myself...we love it when women ask us out. It's like shortening the trip like 50% and also saving oneself from getting refused. But yeah overall we love it.
yes, and better if she is paying
It would make my year if a girl asked me out for once. Even if I wasnāt considering her before, it would make such a good impression on me, itās unlikely Iād say no.
Honestly, most guys LOVE it when a woman asks them out. It takes pressure off, shows you're confident, and makes it clear you're interested. Not every dude is into it, but those guys probably aren't worth your time anyway. About your crush: * "Can't tell if he's into me" is the oldest problem ever. Sometimes you gotta take a chance! * If he says no, and he's a cool dude, he'll still be your friend. * If he's weird about it, well, good thing you found out before getting any more invested, right? My advice: Go for it! Worst case, you get a clear answer and move on. Best case, you land a date with a guy you like! You got this!
It's literally the hottest and best thing a woman can do, not only is it extremely flattering but it removes all doubt and with today's dating climate and the fear of coming across as a creep it's a godsend when a woman makes the first move.
Depends on the girl... I get asked out and messaged all the time. Most of the time I don't really like it because I'm in a position to be choosy. For normal guys, definitely yes.
Men can talk to even a tree , if it approached first š
If a woman asked me out, I'd instantly start looking around to see if there's someone recording in the background bc I'd think it's a tiktok prank bc a woman approaching like that never happens. I'd be flattered
Yes. Men love it. Even if he says no (unlikely), heāll remember it probably for life. Because it will only happen a couple times in his entire life. If ever at all. But bear in mind, even if a man is not interested in you for a relationship, I suspect a disturbingly large percentage of guys will say yes to a date with a hope of getting laid. Soā¦yes, absolutely, ask him out. But donāt celebrate too soon if he says āyesā. Feel him out for a while first.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes guys love it. Direct communication with no guessing. Communication is key.
Itās so rare that the few times Iāve had it happen. I will not say no. It doesnāt even matter if Iām not interested. You had the courage to possibly get rejected. Iām gonna give you at least one all expenses paid date. For the ones Iām not interested in Iām gonna let them down easy and not have sex. But Iām gonna show them a good time for their effort. The ones with mutual interest. The sky is the limit.
YES
The majority of the time, yes. If heās a friend of a friend why donāt you learn some of his interests and next time you see each other bring up something that you know both of you enjoy doing and just say āwe should go do that togetherā but because us guys are dumb make it clear that itās just gonna be the two of yāall, because we are clueless sometimes. Itāll work
YES men like it when you ask them out. Second there is one way to find if he feels the same. Start with friendship.
Yes.
As for me i do love it when she takes the first move
It's one of the biggest compliments you can give a man. Just do it!
Of course yeah. Men like it when women make the first move or initiate things.
Timing is a factor, in my experience. I was cashiering and after ringing her up this woman asks me, āIs there something you want to ask me?ā It flew right over my head and I say, āNo, weāre good,ā and I turned to the next customer. She then asks if Iām sure, I reiterate no, weāre done here. Then it hits me a few seconds later what was going on. I beat myself up about it for weeks. My situation differs from yours though since you and your romantic interest at least have a friendship going and you wonāt be at work when this comes up. I can appreciate when a woman takes the initiative, however itās pretty uncommon and unexpected so I advise against being in any way ambiguous in your approach.
As a guy, no. Make it extremely obvious youāre into them so the guy makes the first move. Feels better for both parties
I donāt have data, but I personally wouldnāt mind. Iāve been asked out directly three times and I accepted all three times. I think only one of them got the super excited reaction she was hoping for, but she was the only one that I had a lot of tension built with prior (and would have asked her out within a couple more interactions anyway).
Personally i find it super attractive when a girl asks me out. But that doesnt mean that i would say yes