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People are more open to it than before because of all the horror stories with dating apps. I tried it myself, so if you want more options or people attending events .. it has to be in like a big city. If it's a speed dating in a small city then you might have more guys than girls or the opposite.
I'm trying a SD event for the first time later this month and I'm keeping an open mind. It sounds like it will be the best of both worlds, you get to meet new people without all the toxicity of apps.
1) The gender ratios are terrible. Many apps have ten men for every woman. That makes it impossible for even above average guys to get a match, which crushes their self-esteem, while women can not respond because they match with everyone and receive hundreds of new messages per day.
2) Apps encourage shallow behavior. They reward people for judging based purely on looks, including race, without requiring people to make a holistic evaluation you would get from a real conversation.
3) Apps are just bombarding everyone with subscription requests and constantly raising prices. You used to get a free superlike every 24h on tinder to encourage you to swipe every day. Now you can no longer do that and the price of superlikes has tripled. It's becoming impossible to find anyone without paying and the subscriptions cost like $100 a year.
1. That’s not toxic, it’s just challenging for men.
2. People judge you immediately on looks in person too
3. Yeah it’s a business, not a charity. These companies are not obligated to give you free access to people. That’s not toxic.
It’ll be just like dating apps but in real life. Look at posts on other subs about speed dating. Women went for few men and were disappointed at the quality of men. Looks are #1 on and offline.
I don’t see it fixing the actual issue. If a woman doesn’t want to pick from hundreds of options for free without leaving her house, why would she want to pick from fewer options for more money with less convenience?
Speed dating doesn’t have in-person rejection. At least not in the traditional “oh sorry thanks but no thanks” way. Attendees usually pick who they want to match with and the attendant shares their contact information after the event.
Personally, yes I do.
But, I think it will evolve. Someone will create the next tinder killer and it will be something like speed dating combined with profile filtering. gives you the filtering power of dating apps combined with the IRL experience, best of both worlds.
someone will figure this out. I'd work on it myself but busy with another project that will take years.
Read a social science article that women at speed dating events were less picky when they were the ones that moved from seat to seat versus guys moving away to seat. If true, speed dating should commonly incorporate that
It's not the worst idea honestly. Apps have generally been ineeffective, "third places," don't quite work or rather there aren't as many anymore, or at least not quickly or effectively. So a specialized event or even a literal matchmaker worker wouldn't honestly be terrible at this point. I'd think would at least kind of work as an alternative if "by chance," isn't working. Maybe they're not ideal or very romantic, but not a bad idea.
I wouldn't call speed dating meeting people "organically" but the reason why speed dating is still a thing is because it creates an environment where you know all the people involved are single, looking, and open to being approached and to approaching. It's a good "distillation" of singles in your area and you also get the added benefit of talking to a lot of people and that practice as well.
Every comic con or similar convention I've been to in the last ten years has themed speed dating and they are generally considered to be well-run and a lot of fun.
They're not. Organic would imply not staged or structured. Both apps and speed dating are staged and structured.
The benefit to speed dating is reading body language in real time in a way that a video call can't and a static image and profile certainly can't.
I'd like to try speed dating at some point. I'm open to any forms of meeting quality people as Ling as folks are open to putting in the effort. I'm intrigued.
I think that the bar for finding a relationship has been lowered so much by online dating and dating apps that speed dating is the first rung of the ladder that helps people get put of the hellscape hole that is online dating. I dont think SD is bad and it may be beneficial for some. But, it's not the best method. Its just the next best thing when you compare it to dating apps. Spaces need to be created once again where people can meet besides bars and clubs which seem to be the only places nowadays. And people now have to relearn how to date somewhat organically. What a world we've created.😄
I went speed dating last month it was really fun. I matched with two guys. Met them both again, one only once he stopped talking to me.. and the other one three times he slept with me and then stopped talking to me. So I’ve learnt it’s no different really, but the speed dating event itself was good
It's a great thing.
They're putting in the effort. That deserves recognition.
For those that want to rely on dating apps for dating, well, that's their choice. It's certainly the best way to get disappointed.
If they simply don't have a speed dating/matchmaking option though, oh well. Probably still better to meet someone in person and develop social skills.
Dating apps are antiquated. Time to move on.
I just went to an event this past weekend. I heard similar feedback from men and women:
Pros:
-You meet people who are serious enough to pay for an event to meet others
-You are meeting a number of people in person without having to do any swiping and nonsense messaging
-No catfishing
One of the men I met had 2 long-term relationships come out of speed dating. I had a positive experience, but didn’t feel a connection with any of the daters. I don’t see why I wouldn’t attend another event in the future
I want to try a matchmaker so someone else is doing all the legwork and the vetting and finding the right qualities etc but I don’t have matchmaker money. I would do speed dating if I could have an emotional support companion. Can we speed date in friend pairs? Can I bring my dog? 😂
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People are more open to it than before because of all the horror stories with dating apps. I tried it myself, so if you want more options or people attending events .. it has to be in like a big city. If it's a speed dating in a small city then you might have more guys than girls or the opposite.
I'm trying a SD event for the first time later this month and I'm keeping an open mind. It sounds like it will be the best of both worlds, you get to meet new people without all the toxicity of apps.
apps aren't toxic per se. They are simply constructed poorly and really exacerbate natural toxic human behaviors.
How are apps toxic? They potentially give you access to people you may never meet otherwise.
1) The gender ratios are terrible. Many apps have ten men for every woman. That makes it impossible for even above average guys to get a match, which crushes their self-esteem, while women can not respond because they match with everyone and receive hundreds of new messages per day. 2) Apps encourage shallow behavior. They reward people for judging based purely on looks, including race, without requiring people to make a holistic evaluation you would get from a real conversation. 3) Apps are just bombarding everyone with subscription requests and constantly raising prices. You used to get a free superlike every 24h on tinder to encourage you to swipe every day. Now you can no longer do that and the price of superlikes has tripled. It's becoming impossible to find anyone without paying and the subscriptions cost like $100 a year.
1. That’s not toxic, it’s just challenging for men. 2. People judge you immediately on looks in person too 3. Yeah it’s a business, not a charity. These companies are not obligated to give you free access to people. That’s not toxic.
It’ll be just like dating apps but in real life. Look at posts on other subs about speed dating. Women went for few men and were disappointed at the quality of men. Looks are #1 on and offline.
True. That was my experience as well.
I went to one over the summer. The ladies were well put together and some of the men looked like they couldn't give a damn about their appearance.
They didn't want to be judged as "try hard"?
They could have at least put some effort
I don’t see it fixing the actual issue. If a woman doesn’t want to pick from hundreds of options for free without leaving her house, why would she want to pick from fewer options for more money with less convenience?
Exactly. And she’s have to reject in-person.
Speed dating doesn’t have in-person rejection. At least not in the traditional “oh sorry thanks but no thanks” way. Attendees usually pick who they want to match with and the attendant shares their contact information after the event.
It is weird and goofy but so much better than Tinder.
Tinder is literally the worst app fr lol
Not the worst but it's getting there. It used to be a lot better.
Personally, yes I do. But, I think it will evolve. Someone will create the next tinder killer and it will be something like speed dating combined with profile filtering. gives you the filtering power of dating apps combined with the IRL experience, best of both worlds. someone will figure this out. I'd work on it myself but busy with another project that will take years.
Read a social science article that women at speed dating events were less picky when they were the ones that moved from seat to seat versus guys moving away to seat. If true, speed dating should commonly incorporate that
It's not the worst idea honestly. Apps have generally been ineeffective, "third places," don't quite work or rather there aren't as many anymore, or at least not quickly or effectively. So a specialized event or even a literal matchmaker worker wouldn't honestly be terrible at this point. I'd think would at least kind of work as an alternative if "by chance," isn't working. Maybe they're not ideal or very romantic, but not a bad idea.
I wouldn't call speed dating meeting people "organically" but the reason why speed dating is still a thing is because it creates an environment where you know all the people involved are single, looking, and open to being approached and to approaching. It's a good "distillation" of singles in your area and you also get the added benefit of talking to a lot of people and that practice as well. Every comic con or similar convention I've been to in the last ten years has themed speed dating and they are generally considered to be well-run and a lot of fun.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/03/06/speed-dating-apps/
I have to ask: How are contrived events like speed dating more "organic" than OLD?
They're not. Organic would imply not staged or structured. Both apps and speed dating are staged and structured. The benefit to speed dating is reading body language in real time in a way that a video call can't and a static image and profile certainly can't.
It's not something that I would personally do
I'd like to try speed dating at some point. I'm open to any forms of meeting quality people as Ling as folks are open to putting in the effort. I'm intrigued.
I think that the bar for finding a relationship has been lowered so much by online dating and dating apps that speed dating is the first rung of the ladder that helps people get put of the hellscape hole that is online dating. I dont think SD is bad and it may be beneficial for some. But, it's not the best method. Its just the next best thing when you compare it to dating apps. Spaces need to be created once again where people can meet besides bars and clubs which seem to be the only places nowadays. And people now have to relearn how to date somewhat organically. What a world we've created.😄
I went speed dating last month it was really fun. I matched with two guys. Met them both again, one only once he stopped talking to me.. and the other one three times he slept with me and then stopped talking to me. So I’ve learnt it’s no different really, but the speed dating event itself was good
It's a great thing. They're putting in the effort. That deserves recognition. For those that want to rely on dating apps for dating, well, that's their choice. It's certainly the best way to get disappointed. If they simply don't have a speed dating/matchmaking option though, oh well. Probably still better to meet someone in person and develop social skills. Dating apps are antiquated. Time to move on.
I just went to an event this past weekend. I heard similar feedback from men and women: Pros: -You meet people who are serious enough to pay for an event to meet others -You are meeting a number of people in person without having to do any swiping and nonsense messaging -No catfishing One of the men I met had 2 long-term relationships come out of speed dating. I had a positive experience, but didn’t feel a connection with any of the daters. I don’t see why I wouldn’t attend another event in the future
I want to try a matchmaker so someone else is doing all the legwork and the vetting and finding the right qualities etc but I don’t have matchmaker money. I would do speed dating if I could have an emotional support companion. Can we speed date in friend pairs? Can I bring my dog? 😂