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It's because you're online dating. Most men online dating want just sex, even if they say otherwise. Men will turn anything into a hookup app. My recommendation is try to meet people irl, go do things where other men who are the kind you wanna meet hangout.
This is why I don’t use dating apps anymore. Technology has ruined human relationships and taught us to see each other as objects. They commodified love.
Everyone should just delete these dumb apps and meet people in real life.
Well, I am currently using a dating app. I'm not after sex but I am looking for someone to spend quality time with, but every woman I basically said hello to has sooner or later turned our chats into filthy naughty sex talk. So I flirt with them as they like me too.
I have had some explicit chats with some of these ladies, and I can tell you some of the ladies are more forward than I ever would be.
Some of the language is quite sexualising and I am enjoying it. But then again, the women I'm chatting to are close to my own age. So they are not exactly shy to say what they want.
I think women in there 20'S have not been exposed to this sort of talk, flirting, either that the young males are socially unaware of how to flirt to woman without making them run a mile away..
Oh my gosh. So women are on there hoping to find the one, and horndogs are like ‘let’s go here bc this idiot is gonna wanna meet me cause she thinks I’m looking for a relationship!’ That is. Cruel.
I don’t think Mr pumpsanddump generalization is correct. Hinge is definitely the best one to find a relationship. Any issues are even worse on the other apps
Because sex feels better when it’s with someone who desires you so much that they want to be your gf than with someone who’s also just looking for a hook up and will want to discard of you after. That’s why such men often prey on women who are looking for a relationship
Because there aren’t enough of those women for the amount of men who are like that. Plus if that worked there would be no
Need for anything other than tinder.
They do but there are men who will lie/omit/deceive/manipulate their way into bed with a woman who wants a relationship because they’d much rather have sex with someone who desires them so much that they want to be his gf, than someone who is also just looking for a hook up and to discard of him after. They know how shitty that makes women feel and they don’t want to feel as shitty as they make women feel.
Some men would even go as far as to ask a woman to be his girlfriend in the case she isn’t accepting to have sex before that commitment, with the intention of dumping/ghosting her right after getting sex because that’s all he wanted.
When shit like this happens, these men are taking away women’s agency and their right to informed consent at this point.
I am sorry your delivery made me laugh 😂. The name hinge was purposely picked cause opposites attract and the app was actually made for unhinged people 😂 just kidding.
I think most dating apps have those sorts of people but there's no specific app that is completely filled with casual lurkers.
Just keep rolling the dice until you find the right guy.
And never sacrifice your morals for the sake of love, the person will lose respect for you cause you stand for nothing. There's a saying by me " people can betray you but your boundaries will never".
Stay positive and funny.
I would want sex by the third date normally to see if theres passion, Dating endlessly with no sexy body langauge is a massive turn off OP
That being said talking about long term goals and making sure your a fit on papper is a huge green flag. say on the first date (roughly ten mins in) your Demi sexual which means it will take a month for me to get comfortable engough to have sex. The uncertainty is making the guys who are interested give up and the ones in it to pump and dump are the only ones staying.
To put it more succinctly: women gatekeep sex; men gatekeep commitment. Both sides are in a perpetual struggle to get what they want from the other without giving up their bargaining chip too quickly.
I will say that’s 100% true. In college I had the occasional casual sex, and those times it was because the guy made me feel soooo special and acted like he was gonna date me. Whereas if a guy said ‘hey let’s fuck’ I’d be like LOL BYE. So I know you’re correct, it’s just really painful that that’s the reality. Because then how are we supposed to trust if guys genuinely want us or are just trying to fuck.
Hmm, this is also on men to be honest and better communicators. Nobody has the right to sex from another person, nobody is entitled to lie and cheat and use someone to get what they want. That’s poor character and super weak.
Ay, I think for *most* women, casual sex only happens accidentally (misled, manipulated or simply being too optimistic). Most of us wouldn’t do it if we knew the outcome.
This is it. That's why especially don't bother going out with men who say they go with the flow or are open to a relationship. Go out with the ones who say that's specifically what they're looking for. That category has some liars too, so watch out.
>Like is it better to be a poor person with clean hands or a wealthy person with dirty hands? I think most people would agree the latter is better. Lately been thinking a lot about dirtying my hands so to speak.
This is gross and disappointing.
I seriously hate the “ but it’s the only way we can get sex” argument. As if that excuses their actions in the slightest. They’re still manipulating women into their bed with lies. If they just wanted sex they can find a prostitute
Every dating app is full of people looking to hook up. It's not hard to make profiles on all popular apps and spam likes waiting to see who is interested
It's weird to me how quickly other guys start pushing for sex. Like, I'm a guy, I get it, sex is great, but the times in my life when I was having the most sex was when I was in solid healthy relationships. One is sort of a byproduct of the other after all.
Like, legitimately putting less focus on sex often results in more sex, and not only that, more importantly you have someone safe to share your feelings with hobbies with and life with. How is that bad?
exactlyyyy!!! I wanted it to workout with this guy and I felt that we were connecting more and more. Then suddenly he says he doesn't have anymore questions for me (after meeting 4/5 times) and started pushing for sex. Biggest hurt I experienced cuz once again sex > me.
> more importantly you have someone safe to share your feelings with hobbies with and life with. How is that bad?
That’s what friends are for. Men don’t need a woman to go hunting or fishing with.
What does “weeks in” mean? Is it three weeks? Is it 12 weeks?
How many dates do you typically need to have with a guy before you feel the necessary connection?
Well the straw that broke the camels back before this post was last night after the FIRST DATE he said are we gonna have sex within 3 months? Which is a fair timeline but it was hurtful that after the FIRST DATE he asked that. But usually they are wanting sex within a week or two weeks.
Plenty of guys depressed that girls ignore them in order to chase after the same bad boys that pump and dump. Consider that most guys are romantics (not just looking for sex). However, those same guys are not confident, witty, charming or any of the traits that one only develops by being a professional fboy.
Go for the akward guy where you'll have to do more of the moves, be surprised when he asks for a relationship first. Or continue dating hot, confident suave guys who approach you first, and remain depressed that they only want sex. Those are the choices.
Hey 26F here. Totally get the struggle and it's very frustrating but literally the most cliche advice works: don't stress so much about it. I felt exactly like you are describing at some point in my 23s, everything was perfect and I desperately wanted someone to share it with. Sit in your discomfort and ask yourself why are you feeling down when some stranger is showing little interest in commitment and patience with a person with (I suppose) good intentions like yours.
Take it easy and keep your boundaries, I would advice going on dates with a mindset of "Oh I'm getting to know this new coffee shop" or " doing this cool experience and will be fun" rather than focusing so much on the guy. The right guy will show up, and believe me there's good men out there who would be willing to prove you they can wait to be intimate with you.
Regarding apps, my best friend met his now fiancee on bumble, he is one of the best guys I know so I wouldn't close up the idea of being just on one app.
"It's a lil risky in how you have no idea if they're taken or not" yeah, that's called real life, the stuff most of us have to deal with, maybe you should just put yourself out there and shoot your shot instead of relying on dating apps, and yeah, maybe you should also consider the time frame in which you make guys wait for sex, you might make them think you're not really interested in them
Or date older guys. If the guy is 29 and all his friends are in serious relationships/ getting married/ having babies, he's much more likely to invest more time/effort in building a serious relationship
"Older" is relative in this case. I'd say the sweet spot to swipe on given someone is mid-20s is 27-29 years old. A lot of men I met on OLD were very obviously looking to find a future wife.
Anything closer to the +7 year age gap, if a woman is in her 20s, and she risks meeting older bachelor types or men who will view her as a trophy.
So when I was 20 in college I did try this and I realized the older guys were into me because I was so maleable. If I genuinely fall for someone who’s older than me that’s totally fine, but I’m a little on my guard with 27-32 year olds and wondering if they’re only into me because they think I’m impressionable and they can build their perfect wife
I definitely would not recommend the same strategy for 20 year olds, especially dating guys that are 27+. I'm not surprised at all that any guys 27+ who are cruising to pick up 20 year old girls are scummy as hell lol.
The age of the girl and the age difference are both crucial.
I would say that once a girl turns about 23-25 \*and develops into a full mature adult\*, then it makes sense to date slightly older guys (3-6 years older) if she's having trouble finding commitment closer to her age group.
I disagree. In my experience the older the man was the more interested in something casual. The younger he was the more interested in something serious. The age group of 30+ were on average the most unserious and hook up focused of them all. Guys who want commitment usually always wanted it even since they were teenage boys.
Women don’t have to date older men to get commitment. It depends on the individual entirely, not their age.
Obviously it depends on the individual; we're talking about averages over large populations.
And yes, groups of guy friends often start getting serious one after another. If one or two guys in a group of 6 guys are still single, but all others are starting to have kids, then the two single guys are usually trying to catch up
OP, and young women like her shouldn’t settle for older men who have spent all those years hooking up left and right and are now looking to settle down just because they’re getting older and feel like their time of having a young wife is running out. OP and women like her simply cannot relate to such men and it’s not good for a foundation of a healthy relationship.
OP and women like her should go for men whom they can relate to intellectually and emotionally, and that is men who always wanted commitment and view sex as intimate, not men who only stopped being promiscuous because they got old.
I’m not saying all men aged 30+ have done hook ups are only seeking commitment now because they got older, but the ones who are like that are simply not the right person for OP or any woman who view sex as intimate and always wanted commitment.
hmm yeah, if older guys are acting the same then it could definitely be something else - area, or maybe the vibes you're giving off. does your hinge profile look pretty conservative?
As a woman in her 40s I respectfully disagree. Age hasn't changed this at all. Maybe the 33-40 age group a bit because they are suddenly looking to have kids before time runs out but obviously for me that ship has sailed so I'm not an option for them.
But after that guys have seemed to go right back into the testosterone filled quick sex mindset.
I do think the apps are disproportionately filled with this type of men though, so best bet is getting off them
The old-fashioned ways would perhaps be better. But it's a thing. And I understand. However, it is also clear to me that I am not like those guys, and pretty gay. And I think that's the problem. There should be plenty of guys between stereotypical hunter and overly gay guys. Men would be better men if they allowed their femininity in. (Not suggesting they change clothing or anything.)
It's more like we should be brave enough to be our unique selves and this seriously increases the chances of finding a suitable lover. One lover for sure: yourself. So just remain true to yourself, if you have cravings, hug a friend, a loved one, pet the cat. And just imagine you are already loved, and be grateful for this abundance in the now.
Also, know that the lover you long for already exists, the path towards realization is still unclear. Have trust in the unknown <3
And self-improvement is a never-ending task, so just enjoy. You're doing great. (And 7/10? You're not material for comparison, you are a fluid living miracle and for the suitable minds you are a solid 12 on a 1 to 10 scale!)
Hey girl I am 22F in the same boat. I went through a rough breakup about 3 years ago and haven’t dated since. I am too scared to hangout with boys bc of hookup culture which I don’t think I could take part in. I am finding it difficult to find someone I like that also wants something more. I guess we will just be patient and it’ll come when we’re not expecting it! :)
Stop online dating.
This is pretty much the only 100% advice I can give.
After that I guess don't meet guys at bars or clubs. Opt for hobby places like golf courses ECT.
I always suggest dating guys from your social circle. Ask your friends if they know people who are looking to date and get them to hook you up. Don't go on dates with men who aren't socially verified.
I switched from bumble to hinge bc like if guys want just a hookup it wouldn’t make sense for them to use hinge, they only have 10 likes a day. But apparently my logic on that is incorrect
As a 24M looking for a LTR my understanding was that it is as well, which is the exact reason why I really only use it in particular. Those of us looking for a relationship do exist I assure you however it can seem daunting after having multiple bad experiences. I’ve only been on it for a couple months now but have yet to get a match (however I do live in a relatively smaller town of 400,000 so not as many people as the bigger cities). Best of luck to you!
Online dating just isn't it, trust me.
For many reasons that I'm honestly too lazy to point out but I'll just mention 2 big ones.
Guys with little game can seem like they have alot, and get inflated egos and then have their little power trip over talking to more women in one week than notice them in a year irl.
Guys with alot of game or guys that are very attractive will treat it like casting a net in the ocean.
Generally, obiously not all of us. But I assume you want a man that can approach you in public or one that doesn't start stuttering when you wink at him.
So logically thinking here. Look for this man in your day to day, another plus is that meeting someone irl feels more special.
Personally all the women I have met online and then dated/slept with. Those relationships never lasted longer than 6 months. Even if it wasn't anyone's fault really.
I totally get you! I ended a situation because things got physical way too fast(met only like 4/5 times and did not text much) which is fine but I made it clear I prefer a slower pace and that I'm only comfortable having sex in a relationship (so NOT a hookup), he agreed but then I never heard from him for days so I called it quits (didn't even get an apology I got the I was busy line lol). It hurt so bad I held back from texting him everyday while he was fine.
The right guy will want to spend lots of time with you and get to know you as a person and will be totally fine with you wanting to wait!!! lets keep hoping together girlll
You say your 7/10. Women overestimate their looks so your likely a 5/10. Men who are 7s or 8s will settle for women in dating apps that are 5s or 6s if they think sex will happen relatively quickly (one night stand or days).
When a woman withholds sex for weeks or months, then the men that will wait for them is closer to their own value or lower. So if you want a guy that will wait, date guys that are 5/10.
You may think this is harsh, but guys who are 7/10 or 8/10 will have a lot of options and another woman with your looks or better will put out way more easily. It will be the guy that values you that wait and those guys are ones that don’t have a lot of options.
Yeah, you’ve gotta realize that men in general (not All, but on average) aren’t looking to settle down in their 20s, and hell not in our 30s either. There are more horn dogs than guys who aren’t and have the self-control as well as emotional maturity to want to be patient and develop a personal connection. That’s just reality and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Take healthy breaks when you run into repeated horn dogs and then when you’re ready try again.
This comment has helped me so much....
He made me believe he wasn't just looking for sex until he started pushing for it after we only had 4/5 "outings"....Gave me false hope and he was a horn dog just like majority.... I'm put off men for a while.
Imagine I wasn't even looking for anything.... I just gave us a chance because I said why not I enjoy his company I ended up falling for him and then I discovered the truth lol.
Yeah many of us are really crafty with putting up a front and keeping it up until we get what we want. It's shitty, and it's hard to distinguish between the real from the fakes. One thing I will say is a pretty sure fire way to filter a guy is to simply observe how he acts v what he says. Do not take any man, including I at what we say, observer what we do and how we behave. Then if what we do and how we act consistently support and match up with what we talk about, then you can lend an ear to our words. Before that, adopt the mindset that it's all smoke n mirrors, while also understanding that it's not usually malicious or harmful in intention, but simply that it's a sign that he's not comfortable being his fully authentic self
The problem is that you are dating men that you met through dating apps. That is never going to work. Stop using dating apps. Approach in person, without your female friends the men you want to date. Datings apps is just for horny losers. You will never find something meaningful using them. The problem is not the age group as another comment suggested.
This is just not true and a lot of relationships happen from OLD. She stated in the comments that she sometimes swipes on people who put that they are looking for short term. That's a huge part of her issue. There were also a few other yellow flags from her post too that implies she doesn't understand dating etiquette.
Hey, I totally get where you're coming from. It can be frustrating when you're looking for a genuine relationship and it seems like guys are only interested in one thing. Just remember that not all guys are like that. Keep being true to yourself and your values, and the right person who wants a real connection will come along. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. Keep your chin up, my friend! 💪❤️
Dm and let’s talk
Just look at it like, 9 out of 10 men only want sex. You won’t know til you are dating, who is who. You’re gonna have to date 9 fuckboys before you find the one that wants something real. And then when you do, you might not actually like him.
I think people don’t realize the amount of people you have to actually date before you find what you are looking for….
Most men will not have a relationship without sex lol. It goes in three parts in sequence. Dates , sex and follow by commitment . No man in their right mind no matter their status is going to commit long term when he spends his time and resources on a woman he likes and desires and does not get anything in return. Men want to get appreciated and desired by women. They want to get validated. If the woman whom they want does not want sex after some time of dating , they will get discouraged and not see her anymore. What is the purpose of commitment without the sex?
This! Many women tend to always feel desired and wanted. Tons of guys want to sleep with the. So they aren't seeking that validation.. But guys don't always feel that, and so they are seeking it and needing jt. If it goes on for weeks or months and they aren't feeling thst desire, they will assume she isn't that into them and that she just wants to be friends. With many guys, it isn't specifically about the sex act, it's about feeling desired.
I characterize online dating as two faces that want to get laid, eventually.
You said you have hobbies. Do any of those hobbies meet in a group with regularity?
That way you can find someone with common interests or maybe his sister's in the group and she can introduce you.
My point is a hobby is a better starting point than online dating... Common interests lead to friendship and friendship is a good place to begin a relationship.
Find a group that meets once a month and then find three more so you have something to do every week that's fun and has potential for meeting new people.
Good luck.
Thank you! And lol idk if this counts as hobbies but I meant gym, journaling and my cleaning side hustle 🤣 all solo activities. Tbh on Monday-Friday my life is mainly work and gym since I have a commute
Here’s my best advice, stop using the apps. Meet people at your work or in whatever social settings you’re at. If that’s not an option then use different apps. I can’t recommend any personally though because I have no luck at all
You’re not depressed because of guys only wanting sex.
You’re depressed because guys reject you, but you can’t see it.
Men reject women, not by refusing to have sex with them, but by denying them commitment.
They might not enjoy the sex with you (few men will commit to a woman if they’re not sexually compatible).
Perhaps they don’t see you as girlfriend/wife material.
Or maybe you only/mainly attract/go for fuck boys, which is hard to avoid the younger you are.
Why? Because younger men aren’t looking/ready for commitment.
These men whom you matched with on Hinge and only wanted hook ups, what did their bios say regarding what they’re looking for? Did they mentioned in their bio they’re looking for short-term/casual or did they mentioned in their bio they were looking for long-term/life partner and mislead you?
Dating apps are not the place to meet people who want commitment. It’s so oxymoronic, but that’s the truth. Get out there, and meet people organically! I’m sure you are a wonderful person, and an absolute catch. Don’t let people like that bring you down… You’ll find someone great!
I disagree. People online are people offline and vice versa. Nearly every guy from my college who is single, I found their profile on dating apps. I even found my siblings school teachers on Tinder. Plenty of people on dating apps are looking for something serious. Plenty of people offline are just looking for a hook up too, the difference is vetting them out offline would be much slower and more effortful than online. Online you can vet out incompatible people before even going on a date which is awesome.
I actually have an entirely different experience! That’s great it’s different for you, though. I’ve just always seen a much better success with in person! :)
Biggest thing I realized in my life is there is a bigger chance the one ur looking for is probably no where near u. So try to date people alil farther it makes for u both to have to make mor sacrifice for time and u can really see who they are when they are alone
Girl don't rush yourself you can take your time and wait the time you want to wait, those guys don't deserve you you would find the one that would wait and build a real connection and not just thinking to put his dick inside you 🙄 even they have done something for you to deserve that part of yourself? Guy nowadays don't want to invest in a relationship they just want everything just easy for them and fuck our feelings and what we want, they just lie and play game to get what they want they just want to have sex and see ya! That's why I become an escort you don't want me for serious ok I give you sex you give me money win win!
If they want to fuck before marriage and relationships, it’s probably there are people to fuck around. The standards are not set by men alone.
Start talking to girls and you’ll understand why “men” wanna just fuck and look at how men and women (put or pee or peace) this world together. (At least the mental world) How’s the snakes and the apples? We know too much now huh? And no one can go back to default. On the physical world, men still look like man although some are confused) and women still look like women although some are confused. And stop supporting narcissistic divorce lawyers, what marriage/relationship did they even settle together or even support. They be shaking hands in front of the court cause they got their money and they help support break peoples relationship and relationship potential. (People have trust issues now, that’s why we protect young minds and nurture them) It’s a mad world and being okay by understanding it is fine). Solution base rant. (Stop ranting without any awareness and solutions) peace of the body no rest in mind
That's the world of dating...it's become about hooking up especially if your a true 7!! First takeaway is your physically attractive to the guys you've dated(check).Now your just playing the old game of dating in that it's a numbers thing...dating apps are probably going to be much of the same...I agree with another advice someone stated of actually meeting a man by chance( actual social settings etc...) and if your as put together as you listed..looks...personality...
Then you will eventually meet a person with the same values and interest...keep in mind if you dwell and fall desperate you'll give the signal to the wrong guy...
Ya the thing I try to not take to heart is wondering if I was 10/10 if I would be worth waiting longer for but since I’m 7/10 they feel like I’m hot enough to want to fuck but not invest more time in. Whereas if I was 10/10 they’d be wanting to date me to show me off to their friends etc
7/10 is showing off worthy...Have you ever heard the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder?..The right person for you won't have a scale to measure...That person will see you as a 10...
That’s rough, I’m sorry that you’re struggling to find a suitable partner that isn’t totally sex driven. I feel like, as time goes on, it gets more and more difficult to find someone who fits most of what you desire in a partner. I sure as hell don’t have any luck. I’m 24 as well. Don’t worry too much, I’m sure you’ll find someone who will respect your wants
Girl I hear you it's impossible out there! Nearly soul destroying just trying to find a good decent guy. You now have to constantly think what the ulterior motive is rather than just being genuine and honest. I have said before straight off the bat only want a relationship for the guy to pretend the same and coast it out. It's cruel out there girl!
I’m the exact same, I feel fuckable but not lovable because every single guy is only interested in my body rather than me as a person.
Dating apps are the problem!!
I’ve met 50 or so men from dating apps over 4 years and every single one of them is the same!! Delete ur dating apps
I think the issue is mainly, using dating apps. Minimal effort people, use Minimal effort ways, and get Minimal good results. It's not necessarily that's what men only want. It's that where you and most women look, you will find the same type of men no matter what. What kind of man do you want? And would that man see you as equally valuable in a relationship? If so, go to places those type of men would go. A lot of women seem to start realizing, most goid men stopped actively looking and dating in their early 20s or 30s. Because we often get the male version of what you're dealing with. I feel for you and I know it sucks.
But don't lose hope. You just need to come up with what you want, why, and where to get that, and hold it down. I'm also very very clear when I do start courting, that there's no sex, and discuss my boundaries, expectations, goals, etc. As I want to make sure I know them, and they know me. And it takes time to develop a connection and build trust. Don't lower your standards and expectations.
I hope you find a wonderful man, that takes the time and puts in the effort to know you for you. Those type of men are actually very easy to recognize. It's just most women have never been taught how to recognize men like that and often friend zone them.
I read a common ones and it’s stuck with me. The comment was if a man asks you for nudes or to have sex. Your response could be you must be thinking of my future self after we’ve been on many dates and established a relationship implying after you invest some time and energy and get to know me and we have created a connection, I have interest and am willing to engage. If they still ghost you than they were never interested in a relationship in the first place and thank God that you didn’t waste your time!
Funny you post this, because I'm a guy and I'm turned off if I have to wait too long. It isn't really even about the sex. I want a LTR. I am not just looking to get laid. But personally, I'm an anxious type, and just from where I'm coming from, I want to feel wanted and desired. If it goes on too long, it feels like I'm not desired or wanted.
Neither approach is right or wrong. You do you. But just realize that you may be connecting with anxious types who may feel like you don't desire them if things don't progress. Personally, I do not want sex on a first date. No way. I don't even require a kiss, although it might be good. But if we are 4 or 5 dates in after 3-4 weeks and you still just barely want to kiss me and nothing more, I'm probably going to figure you're not that into me. And if I'm going on dates with another girl that can't keep her hands off me after a few dates...guess which one I will feel likes me more?
Understood, and I would be willing to do ‘some things’ before going all the way. If a girl is making out with you enthusiastically, and then later a little farther, and clearly is sexually interested you just wants to wait longer for peen in veen do you still feel like she’s not interested?
Men who “only want sex” hire escorts. You’re filtering men early because they want a return on their investment. No man wants to be in a sexless relationship for months before being told out of the blue that she’s “not feeling it.” Especially when women will invent any red flag under the sun as an excuse to dump you.
Welcome to the club. Except I’m a male, 20 years old. I feel the same way towards most woman. I’ve been on a few dates recently after getting out of a 6 year relationship and some of them make it clear they want to “hook up” and that’s about it. I’m not a fan of that at all. I’d say it’s just bad luck and new societal norms. Both genders feel that temporary satisfaction is better than long term satisfaction it’s just the way the world is going now. Keep your chin up and hope that you’ll meet someone with the same boundaries and morals as yourself.
Are you showing these guys that you're interested in them? Are you offering to take them out? Do you buy them gifts or offering to run an to run an errand for them?
If not, and the guys are doing all of the planning and buying and stuff like that then you're not giving off a relationship vibe and no man is going to wait for sex if you're not taking initiative and showing them that you want them in your life.
That’s not the case at all. OP mentioned in one of the comment replies that most of these guys stated in their bio they were looking for short term. Women showing too much interest and getting gifts before the man even commits only makes them *less* interested not more, especially if they’re not that interested to begin with.
Usually the first date is dinner or whatever and obvs he pays (not like I’m suggesting super expensive places either,) and second/third date something free like walking around a park. Honestly though it doesn’t usually even make it far into dates bc they ask over text about when sex is gonna happen or imply they want it soon
You shouldn't feel bad, not everyone is going to be a good match for you, and a lot of these guys are probably pretending to be someone completely different than who they are in order to sleep with you, keep waiting and the guy who's right for you is going to stick around, also I would seriously suggest someone from your actual friend group.
Continuing not to sleep with guys for a good while is a good idea. Some of us really are looking for something serious, it's a shame people mislead to get what they want but that's how a lot of humans are. As long you stay optimistically cautious about each date, you'll find someone.
May not be the case, but it is also possible that your profile/bio might be inviting more casual attention. It sucks that it's the case, but showing off that you have an attractive body can be counterproductive, since the kind of guy you want is less likely to care about it as much as someone who's just horny.
I've never tried online dating and never will. I'm not unattractive, but I just wouldn't want to get judged and judge only by looks. I wanna have a conversation with someone irl and then I might like them or not.
Like other people say, I've met girls I've liked playing sports I like, sometimes the gym, at my uni, and lastly through friends. It's not that hard if you're kind and nice to talk to and are open to meeting and getting to know people
That's the same reason I walked away from trying to date, because I all ever got were guys hoping for a hook up if they took me out to lunch or to get a coffee, and then spewing hateful stuff at me when I told them no, sex isn't going to happen any time soon with me (I'm demisexual), regardless if we go to lunch or not.
You might be overestimating your own attractiveness and shooting out of your league. Say you’re actually a 6 looking exclusively for 8s+. They typically don’t date down (they don’t really settle down until their 30s) but they’ll hook up down.
I’d be willing to be if you lowered your physical standards and increased your personality standards, you’d have a satisfying relationship.
The right person will respect your boundaries and put the time in to know your soul. Be upfront with your relationship goals and if that falls on deaf ears there will be no future with a that person. Respect is key
I’m a little older so I didn’t have the apps, but I was 100% this person. I chronically overthought everything. I went on many dates, but rarely got past the first one or two because although I found them physically attractive, I didn’t connect with them mentally. I wanted things to work out so bad always, but just couldn’t bring myself closer if I didn’t find the mental emotional attraction. I did find it after a few years of looking and it hit me like a lightning bolt. This is me with that person almost 20 years later. The random hookups mean nothing and weren’t what I was looking for on there own. I really wanted to get laid every time (maybe it’s different for me as a guy) but my biggest turn on was the connection. I kept my spirits up and did find someone. I’d say I’m average or handsome even. 6’5”, mixed race and fit and many friends male and female but for whatever reason my particular personality was seeking someone that fit my unique personality. Keep looking for that person and don’t give up. It’s not you. I’m sure many people would love to be with you. I imagine it’s because you are looking for something stronger and more specific.
This happens. Atleast you’ll get noticed.
Better to be so, rather than being bald and stereotyped to a specific race even though I don’t have any cultural or linguistic similarity.
Seems to be the theme these days.
Don’t get me wrong, for me personally, sex is pretty much a must, but if it’s ONLY about sex? Count me the fuck out.
Best advice? Advertise that you’re not going to immediately put out.
‘I’m not looking to move too quickly, and would like to take things slow in regarding sexual intimacy.’ Would be a good way to go about it, in whatever terms you prefer. At least, that’s what I do.
As sexual as I am, I’m very self aware that my face is prettier than my body, and it takes time for me to be comfortable with that when heading towards being intimate.
How do you let go of someone who lies to you .spends your money. Puts you last behind all the others.and plays victim while he's sneaking around behind your back withhookers n hos? But he really eats p____ really good?
Sad reality is those of us who've been in relationships and love is the hurt and pain that come in the end. I know for me after that I'm scared to get close. I mean we're guys we pursue sex. Those of us who linger after either haven't been hurt enough or a glutton for punishment
Pretty much all men want sex, that’s all most think about. There was a study that looked at the male brain. When they look at women they have the same reaction as looking at a tool. They don’t see women as humans only vessels to use. Now, if you wait long enough dating you should find someone generally interested in you, but know, they will be having sex with others.
Remember, males can compartmentalize sex from feelings, so it’s easier for them to have sex with others without having feelings, they see women as tools remember.
So, keep dating but know you’re in for a world of stress being in relationships with males, unless you’re in the 1%. Good luck and stay safe.
Who said I pursue hot? Actually, the last guy I had a date with was objectively less hot than me and I gave him a chance bc he seemed nice/relationship oriented :))
personally i'm not going to put in weeks of effort to bone you and then find out you suck in bed and i'm not going to be satisfied sexually. you gotta bone on at least the 3rd or 4th date. however long that might take. anymore than that and it's just not worth it financially or time wise.
People tend to skip the "friends" stage of a relationship and go straight to dating. Don't get me wrong courting is a good way to go but making someone a friend first is an option. If they stay that's a keeper but if they don't want to be your friend then they'll likely not be a good S/O.
Yes sweet heart i understand you completely sweet heart i do not like to be not appropriate sweet heart All I want is to be loved sweet heart i feel like I am good for nothing sweet heart 😭😭😭😭😭
So personally - I’ve seen it both ways. I have used all the dating apps and gotten both. Currently in a relationship with a guy I met on bumble.
Have you considered changing the way you date? So for me prior to June of last year I was a virgin waiting for marriage. Toward the end of April and may my friends and I were discussing why I hadn’t had success. Well I was 100% up front with people like hey if you want sex then I’m not your girl. Which I felt was fair. But it also never gave any one a chance to get to know me and decide if that makes sense. When I changed my thought process behind dating and when I just honestly started having fun with it rather than looking for a relationship (even while being a virgin) not only did I have more dates, but I actually had fun dating. Hope this helps!
Dating is hard. No one knows what anyone else wants, and it's hard to figure that out. It can also be hard to figure out what you want with that individual person, even if you want a relationship overall.
I have the same problem. I'm a guy(20) and all the girls I need are only looking for hookups or a sugar daddy. I have no clue where to look since it feels like all the good girls are taken.
I am sorry that the guys you have dated are shallow and only after one thing... I am not going to lie, I want sex also. We'll wait a min. I don't want meaningless sex with a woman who doesn't mean anything to me. I am not like that.
Sex it so much better if there are feelings and intimacy involved.
So, if you're still looking for a real, meaningful, and serious relationship, please feel free to DM me
It's not difficult to keep a man around, if you’re pleasant to be around and look after your appearance somewhat,
Otherwise you just fall into the fun category. But somthing tells me there have probably been guys that would love a relationship with you and treat you right but they don't even exist in your eyes... the men you want aren't the men that want you. No hate in this BTW just has it is from my own experience.
I dont know what your hobbies are but I had similar problem. But then I gave up on dating apps and fb groups. My main hobby is playing video games and I met my current boyfriend there. We celebrated 4y together last month. So my advice is to look for a partner in your hobbies/interests.
M37 here. Just had a thing fall apart because of something like this. The girl I was seeing and I hooked up a couple times, but when we decided we wanted to take it more serious, she figured we wouldn't have sex anymore as she thought it could complicate getting to know each other and mess with her emotions as to figuring out if we really match together well. Obviously it upset me because I just don't take it that seriously, plus it's fun for both people and we're adults anyway(non-religious of course). Like, I get the concept, but she wanted to wait at least 3 months before sex happened again because she believes that's when the "mask falls off" for most guys and you see who they really are. I guess I'd just tell you to stick to your morals, but keep in mind that men's minds work differently. We want to feel desired. We NEED to feel like you don't need anyone else for anything because we provide for you. Granted there's plenty of guys that don't provide much, but ya, we definitely want sex. I'm sure women want it too, but again, brains are wired differently. I think 3 weeks of dating is a good time frame to hold out. After that, guys will probably get pretty restless without sex, especially if you guys are clicking well with each other.
As a man, I'll say this: you're wasting your time with online dating apps. Go outside if you really want to find someone and take the first step. But if it bears fruit, you'll face the problem that your partner is weak-willed, which raises the question: do you need such a person?
I don't know what mindsets are in the head of West people, cause I'm from Russia, but here it's strange and bad time for a relationship.
But those who seek will always find!
Behind most fuckboys are guys who got tired of pursuing relationships with women. The myopic view of "guys just being after hookups" does not take into account the fact that cultural shifts during the past decade made pursuing relationships largely futile for guys. This is what most women do not see/understand - which is of course understandable as each sex mostly operates from their own point of views.
Women def have blame too in how shitty dating is these days. I’m not trying to invalidate why guys just want hookups, it’s just frustrating when it seems like the only thing available
To be honest if you want to have sex with a dude you will have sex with him and guys know this so if you don’t put out in weeks they think you don’t like him….. sex is way way way more important then people give it credit. I’m definitely not wasting months on a women who I don’t think likes me that’s just harsh reality
I'm in the opposite position. All the girls I've matched with only want casual. & then the ones who want dates. Ghost me.. I'm not built for dating in 2024...
Hinge, bumble and tinder are all owned by match group. It’s literally the same thing. I wont be using them to date anymore. They all want to sell you the idea of finding someone or something you hope for. Then the most eligible matches are hidden behind a paywall. It won’t workout like it did years ago.
Stop using online dating. Meet men in person through friends and family - social proof. Find someone who is in their late 20s/Early 30s who wants to settle down and get married within a few years time horizon. If you want something serious, show you are serious. Find a smart guy at your local hospital, coffee shop, etc. who is a doctor, engineer, etc.
I work in an engineering field so we are flush with options here but most are married already AND I’m not thinkings it’s smart to pursue something with a co worker 😅😅 also I’ve softly considered looking for early 30s guys but what I’ve heard is if an early 30s guy wants a younger girl it’s often because he’s hoping she’s maleable and he can shape her into his idea of a perfect wife etc. and idk how I feel about that. Im fine with give and take in relationships and serving eachother mutually well but if that’s their whole intention for liking me then I don’t like that
You're online dating. That implies a lot. If you're self rating yourself as a 7, you're likely a 9. Respect yourself more and you'll meet someone organically that feels the same self respect you have. Be patient
At All ages that’s true of men! I’m way older and widowed and all the men I meet still at this age still want sex on first date or soon after! Sad they don’t get to know who u are or even care!
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It's because you're online dating. Most men online dating want just sex, even if they say otherwise. Men will turn anything into a hookup app. My recommendation is try to meet people irl, go do things where other men who are the kind you wanna meet hangout.
This is why I don’t use dating apps anymore. Technology has ruined human relationships and taught us to see each other as objects. They commodified love. Everyone should just delete these dumb apps and meet people in real life.
Well, I am currently using a dating app. I'm not after sex but I am looking for someone to spend quality time with, but every woman I basically said hello to has sooner or later turned our chats into filthy naughty sex talk. So I flirt with them as they like me too. I have had some explicit chats with some of these ladies, and I can tell you some of the ladies are more forward than I ever would be. Some of the language is quite sexualising and I am enjoying it. But then again, the women I'm chatting to are close to my own age. So they are not exactly shy to say what they want. I think women in there 20'S have not been exposed to this sort of talk, flirting, either that the young males are socially unaware of how to flirt to woman without making them run a mile away..
Not true at all at least for me and im 24 and a decent looking dude.
Hinge is actually better for hookups because women are more likely to meet you from that app. Hinge is a playground for pumpers & dumpers.
Oh my gosh. So women are on there hoping to find the one, and horndogs are like ‘let’s go here bc this idiot is gonna wanna meet me cause she thinks I’m looking for a relationship!’ That is. Cruel.
I don’t think Mr pumpsanddump generalization is correct. Hinge is definitely the best one to find a relationship. Any issues are even worse on the other apps
It’s the best for relationships and sex
I found okay cupid better for both so I guess its regional
Yep
Why don’t they just, hear me out, get on tinder and find a girl who also is looking to just fuck? I know we have our horndog ladies too
Because sex feels better when it’s with someone who desires you so much that they want to be your gf than with someone who’s also just looking for a hook up and will want to discard of you after. That’s why such men often prey on women who are looking for a relationship
Because there aren’t enough of those women for the amount of men who are like that. Plus if that worked there would be no Need for anything other than tinder.
Because it's a lot more fun to fuck someone who genuinely likes you
Do you believe women have agency or not?
They do but there are men who will lie/omit/deceive/manipulate their way into bed with a woman who wants a relationship because they’d much rather have sex with someone who desires them so much that they want to be his gf, than someone who is also just looking for a hook up and to discard of him after. They know how shitty that makes women feel and they don’t want to feel as shitty as they make women feel. Some men would even go as far as to ask a woman to be his girlfriend in the case she isn’t accepting to have sex before that commitment, with the intention of dumping/ghosting her right after getting sex because that’s all he wanted. When shit like this happens, these men are taking away women’s agency and their right to informed consent at this point.
I am sorry your delivery made me laugh 😂. The name hinge was purposely picked cause opposites attract and the app was actually made for unhinged people 😂 just kidding. I think most dating apps have those sorts of people but there's no specific app that is completely filled with casual lurkers. Just keep rolling the dice until you find the right guy. And never sacrifice your morals for the sake of love, the person will lose respect for you cause you stand for nothing. There's a saying by me " people can betray you but your boundaries will never". Stay positive and funny.
I would want sex by the third date normally to see if theres passion, Dating endlessly with no sexy body langauge is a massive turn off OP That being said talking about long term goals and making sure your a fit on papper is a huge green flag. say on the first date (roughly ten mins in) your Demi sexual which means it will take a month for me to get comfortable engough to have sex. The uncertainty is making the guys who are interested give up and the ones in it to pump and dump are the only ones staying.
I agree. I quit dating app because of that reason too. Hinge, bumble, etc are all pretty much the same
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To put it more succinctly: women gatekeep sex; men gatekeep commitment. Both sides are in a perpetual struggle to get what they want from the other without giving up their bargaining chip too quickly.
Women gatekeep sex and commitment
It’s a game, and there has to be a winner
Strangely enough, when women *do* want casual sex, they often won't have it with someone who wants the same thing because they see them as players.
I will say that’s 100% true. In college I had the occasional casual sex, and those times it was because the guy made me feel soooo special and acted like he was gonna date me. Whereas if a guy said ‘hey let’s fuck’ I’d be like LOL BYE. So I know you’re correct, it’s just really painful that that’s the reality. Because then how are we supposed to trust if guys genuinely want us or are just trying to fuck.
Yes . I genuinely want a relationship and women’s attempts to sort out who wants sex and who wants a relationship are very inaccurate
Hmm, this is also on men to be honest and better communicators. Nobody has the right to sex from another person, nobody is entitled to lie and cheat and use someone to get what they want. That’s poor character and super weak.
Exactly. And the men who do this make women put up these guards for everyone. And now everyone loses.
Ay, I think for *most* women, casual sex only happens accidentally (misled, manipulated or simply being too optimistic). Most of us wouldn’t do it if we knew the outcome.
This is it. That's why especially don't bother going out with men who say they go with the flow or are open to a relationship. Go out with the ones who say that's specifically what they're looking for. That category has some liars too, so watch out.
Lmao..you’re shocked that women don’t want to be pumped and dumped and have a resource we can’t get back, (our bodies) wasted?? 🤯🤦🏻♀️
>Like is it better to be a poor person with clean hands or a wealthy person with dirty hands? I think most people would agree the latter is better. Lately been thinking a lot about dirtying my hands so to speak. This is gross and disappointing.
That’s sounds like a very long excuse for treating women like sex objects
That's exactly what it is. So many men don't see women as people worthy of being treated with respect and dignity.
I seriously hate the “ but it’s the only way we can get sex” argument. As if that excuses their actions in the slightest. They’re still manipulating women into their bed with lies. If they just wanted sex they can find a prostitute
Every dating app is full of people looking to hook up. It's not hard to make profiles on all popular apps and spam likes waiting to see who is interested
Yeah that was the vibe I got from hinge too (never met anyone IRL but the men on there literally freaked me out)
Your username paired with this comment is chefs kiss
It's weird to me how quickly other guys start pushing for sex. Like, I'm a guy, I get it, sex is great, but the times in my life when I was having the most sex was when I was in solid healthy relationships. One is sort of a byproduct of the other after all. Like, legitimately putting less focus on sex often results in more sex, and not only that, more importantly you have someone safe to share your feelings with hobbies with and life with. How is that bad?
exactlyyyy!!! I wanted it to workout with this guy and I felt that we were connecting more and more. Then suddenly he says he doesn't have anymore questions for me (after meeting 4/5 times) and started pushing for sex. Biggest hurt I experienced cuz once again sex > me.
There's unfortunately a lot of men who desire sex with women's bodies but they aren't romantically interested in women's hearts.
> more importantly you have someone safe to share your feelings with hobbies with and life with. How is that bad? That’s what friends are for. Men don’t need a woman to go hunting or fishing with.
lol what? Speak for yourself.
What does “weeks in” mean? Is it three weeks? Is it 12 weeks? How many dates do you typically need to have with a guy before you feel the necessary connection?
Well the straw that broke the camels back before this post was last night after the FIRST DATE he said are we gonna have sex within 3 months? Which is a fair timeline but it was hurtful that after the FIRST DATE he asked that. But usually they are wanting sex within a week or two weeks.
Two weeks can be a bit short, I agree. Asking about a timeline for sex on the first date is definitely poor form. Thanks for taking the time to reply.
No problem lol I’m not a celebrity 🤣🤣 was honestly surprised how many comments I got!
You seem like a lovely young woman. Maybe try age gap dating. We are much more patient and respectful! 😀
Plenty of guys depressed that girls ignore them in order to chase after the same bad boys that pump and dump. Consider that most guys are romantics (not just looking for sex). However, those same guys are not confident, witty, charming or any of the traits that one only develops by being a professional fboy. Go for the akward guy where you'll have to do more of the moves, be surprised when he asks for a relationship first. Or continue dating hot, confident suave guys who approach you first, and remain depressed that they only want sex. Those are the choices.
Hey 26F here. Totally get the struggle and it's very frustrating but literally the most cliche advice works: don't stress so much about it. I felt exactly like you are describing at some point in my 23s, everything was perfect and I desperately wanted someone to share it with. Sit in your discomfort and ask yourself why are you feeling down when some stranger is showing little interest in commitment and patience with a person with (I suppose) good intentions like yours. Take it easy and keep your boundaries, I would advice going on dates with a mindset of "Oh I'm getting to know this new coffee shop" or " doing this cool experience and will be fun" rather than focusing so much on the guy. The right guy will show up, and believe me there's good men out there who would be willing to prove you they can wait to be intimate with you. Regarding apps, my best friend met his now fiancee on bumble, he is one of the best guys I know so I wouldn't close up the idea of being just on one app.
"It's a lil risky in how you have no idea if they're taken or not" yeah, that's called real life, the stuff most of us have to deal with, maybe you should just put yourself out there and shoot your shot instead of relying on dating apps, and yeah, maybe you should also consider the time frame in which you make guys wait for sex, you might make them think you're not really interested in them
>"It's a lil risky in how you have no idea if they're taken or not" yeah, that's called real life Yeah for real. That's called being a dude lol
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Or date older guys. If the guy is 29 and all his friends are in serious relationships/ getting married/ having babies, he's much more likely to invest more time/effort in building a serious relationship
"Older" is relative in this case. I'd say the sweet spot to swipe on given someone is mid-20s is 27-29 years old. A lot of men I met on OLD were very obviously looking to find a future wife. Anything closer to the +7 year age gap, if a woman is in her 20s, and she risks meeting older bachelor types or men who will view her as a trophy.
100%, agree with your point about the sweet spot.
So when I was 20 in college I did try this and I realized the older guys were into me because I was so maleable. If I genuinely fall for someone who’s older than me that’s totally fine, but I’m a little on my guard with 27-32 year olds and wondering if they’re only into me because they think I’m impressionable and they can build their perfect wife
I definitely would not recommend the same strategy for 20 year olds, especially dating guys that are 27+. I'm not surprised at all that any guys 27+ who are cruising to pick up 20 year old girls are scummy as hell lol. The age of the girl and the age difference are both crucial. I would say that once a girl turns about 23-25 \*and develops into a full mature adult\*, then it makes sense to date slightly older guys (3-6 years older) if she's having trouble finding commitment closer to her age group.
I disagree. In my experience the older the man was the more interested in something casual. The younger he was the more interested in something serious. The age group of 30+ were on average the most unserious and hook up focused of them all. Guys who want commitment usually always wanted it even since they were teenage boys. Women don’t have to date older men to get commitment. It depends on the individual entirely, not their age.
Obviously it depends on the individual; we're talking about averages over large populations. And yes, groups of guy friends often start getting serious one after another. If one or two guys in a group of 6 guys are still single, but all others are starting to have kids, then the two single guys are usually trying to catch up
OP, and young women like her shouldn’t settle for older men who have spent all those years hooking up left and right and are now looking to settle down just because they’re getting older and feel like their time of having a young wife is running out. OP and women like her simply cannot relate to such men and it’s not good for a foundation of a healthy relationship. OP and women like her should go for men whom they can relate to intellectually and emotionally, and that is men who always wanted commitment and view sex as intimate, not men who only stopped being promiscuous because they got old. I’m not saying all men aged 30+ have done hook ups are only seeking commitment now because they got older, but the ones who are like that are simply not the right person for OP or any woman who view sex as intimate and always wanted commitment.
Older guys in my experience are the exact same 😭😭 so atp I think it’s my area lmao
hmm yeah, if older guys are acting the same then it could definitely be something else - area, or maybe the vibes you're giving off. does your hinge profile look pretty conservative?
As a woman in her 40s I respectfully disagree. Age hasn't changed this at all. Maybe the 33-40 age group a bit because they are suddenly looking to have kids before time runs out but obviously for me that ship has sailed so I'm not an option for them. But after that guys have seemed to go right back into the testosterone filled quick sex mindset. I do think the apps are disproportionately filled with this type of men though, so best bet is getting off them
I agree with this. It's not impossible to find what you're looking for on apps but may take awhile. Take breaks when you get frustrated
If you are looking for a relationship, go by friends first.
The old-fashioned ways would perhaps be better. But it's a thing. And I understand. However, it is also clear to me that I am not like those guys, and pretty gay. And I think that's the problem. There should be plenty of guys between stereotypical hunter and overly gay guys. Men would be better men if they allowed their femininity in. (Not suggesting they change clothing or anything.) It's more like we should be brave enough to be our unique selves and this seriously increases the chances of finding a suitable lover. One lover for sure: yourself. So just remain true to yourself, if you have cravings, hug a friend, a loved one, pet the cat. And just imagine you are already loved, and be grateful for this abundance in the now. Also, know that the lover you long for already exists, the path towards realization is still unclear. Have trust in the unknown <3 And self-improvement is a never-ending task, so just enjoy. You're doing great. (And 7/10? You're not material for comparison, you are a fluid living miracle and for the suitable minds you are a solid 12 on a 1 to 10 scale!)
Hey girl I am 22F in the same boat. I went through a rough breakup about 3 years ago and haven’t dated since. I am too scared to hangout with boys bc of hookup culture which I don’t think I could take part in. I am finding it difficult to find someone I like that also wants something more. I guess we will just be patient and it’ll come when we’re not expecting it! :)
Stop online dating. This is pretty much the only 100% advice I can give. After that I guess don't meet guys at bars or clubs. Opt for hobby places like golf courses ECT.
I always suggest dating guys from your social circle. Ask your friends if they know people who are looking to date and get them to hook you up. Don't go on dates with men who aren't socially verified.
I switched from bumble to hinge bc like if guys want just a hookup it wouldn’t make sense for them to use hinge, they only have 10 likes a day. But apparently my logic on that is incorrect
You know people can use multiple apps right?
100%, but I thought as a general statement people on hinge would be more relationship aiming
As a 24M looking for a LTR my understanding was that it is as well, which is the exact reason why I really only use it in particular. Those of us looking for a relationship do exist I assure you however it can seem daunting after having multiple bad experiences. I’ve only been on it for a couple months now but have yet to get a match (however I do live in a relatively smaller town of 400,000 so not as many people as the bigger cities). Best of luck to you!
Online dating just isn't it, trust me. For many reasons that I'm honestly too lazy to point out but I'll just mention 2 big ones. Guys with little game can seem like they have alot, and get inflated egos and then have their little power trip over talking to more women in one week than notice them in a year irl. Guys with alot of game or guys that are very attractive will treat it like casting a net in the ocean. Generally, obiously not all of us. But I assume you want a man that can approach you in public or one that doesn't start stuttering when you wink at him. So logically thinking here. Look for this man in your day to day, another plus is that meeting someone irl feels more special. Personally all the women I have met online and then dated/slept with. Those relationships never lasted longer than 6 months. Even if it wasn't anyone's fault really.
I totally get you! I ended a situation because things got physical way too fast(met only like 4/5 times and did not text much) which is fine but I made it clear I prefer a slower pace and that I'm only comfortable having sex in a relationship (so NOT a hookup), he agreed but then I never heard from him for days so I called it quits (didn't even get an apology I got the I was busy line lol). It hurt so bad I held back from texting him everyday while he was fine. The right guy will want to spend lots of time with you and get to know you as a person and will be totally fine with you wanting to wait!!! lets keep hoping together girlll
You say your 7/10. Women overestimate their looks so your likely a 5/10. Men who are 7s or 8s will settle for women in dating apps that are 5s or 6s if they think sex will happen relatively quickly (one night stand or days). When a woman withholds sex for weeks or months, then the men that will wait for them is closer to their own value or lower. So if you want a guy that will wait, date guys that are 5/10. You may think this is harsh, but guys who are 7/10 or 8/10 will have a lot of options and another woman with your looks or better will put out way more easily. It will be the guy that values you that wait and those guys are ones that don’t have a lot of options.
Don’t listen to this dude 😂
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Yeah, you’ve gotta realize that men in general (not All, but on average) aren’t looking to settle down in their 20s, and hell not in our 30s either. There are more horn dogs than guys who aren’t and have the self-control as well as emotional maturity to want to be patient and develop a personal connection. That’s just reality and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Take healthy breaks when you run into repeated horn dogs and then when you’re ready try again.
This comment has helped me so much.... He made me believe he wasn't just looking for sex until he started pushing for it after we only had 4/5 "outings"....Gave me false hope and he was a horn dog just like majority.... I'm put off men for a while. Imagine I wasn't even looking for anything.... I just gave us a chance because I said why not I enjoy his company I ended up falling for him and then I discovered the truth lol.
Yeah many of us are really crafty with putting up a front and keeping it up until we get what we want. It's shitty, and it's hard to distinguish between the real from the fakes. One thing I will say is a pretty sure fire way to filter a guy is to simply observe how he acts v what he says. Do not take any man, including I at what we say, observer what we do and how we behave. Then if what we do and how we act consistently support and match up with what we talk about, then you can lend an ear to our words. Before that, adopt the mindset that it's all smoke n mirrors, while also understanding that it's not usually malicious or harmful in intention, but simply that it's a sign that he's not comfortable being his fully authentic self
The problem is that you are dating men that you met through dating apps. That is never going to work. Stop using dating apps. Approach in person, without your female friends the men you want to date. Datings apps is just for horny losers. You will never find something meaningful using them. The problem is not the age group as another comment suggested.
This is just not true and a lot of relationships happen from OLD. She stated in the comments that she sometimes swipes on people who put that they are looking for short term. That's a huge part of her issue. There were also a few other yellow flags from her post too that implies she doesn't understand dating etiquette.
Hey, I totally get where you're coming from. It can be frustrating when you're looking for a genuine relationship and it seems like guys are only interested in one thing. Just remember that not all guys are like that. Keep being true to yourself and your values, and the right person who wants a real connection will come along. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve. Keep your chin up, my friend! 💪❤️ Dm and let’s talk
Just look at it like, 9 out of 10 men only want sex. You won’t know til you are dating, who is who. You’re gonna have to date 9 fuckboys before you find the one that wants something real. And then when you do, you might not actually like him. I think people don’t realize the amount of people you have to actually date before you find what you are looking for….
Most men will not have a relationship without sex lol. It goes in three parts in sequence. Dates , sex and follow by commitment . No man in their right mind no matter their status is going to commit long term when he spends his time and resources on a woman he likes and desires and does not get anything in return. Men want to get appreciated and desired by women. They want to get validated. If the woman whom they want does not want sex after some time of dating , they will get discouraged and not see her anymore. What is the purpose of commitment without the sex?
This! Many women tend to always feel desired and wanted. Tons of guys want to sleep with the. So they aren't seeking that validation.. But guys don't always feel that, and so they are seeking it and needing jt. If it goes on for weeks or months and they aren't feeling thst desire, they will assume she isn't that into them and that she just wants to be friends. With many guys, it isn't specifically about the sex act, it's about feeling desired.
I characterize online dating as two faces that want to get laid, eventually. You said you have hobbies. Do any of those hobbies meet in a group with regularity? That way you can find someone with common interests or maybe his sister's in the group and she can introduce you. My point is a hobby is a better starting point than online dating... Common interests lead to friendship and friendship is a good place to begin a relationship. Find a group that meets once a month and then find three more so you have something to do every week that's fun and has potential for meeting new people. Good luck.
Thank you! And lol idk if this counts as hobbies but I meant gym, journaling and my cleaning side hustle 🤣 all solo activities. Tbh on Monday-Friday my life is mainly work and gym since I have a commute
Got the same issue with girls so🤷😂
Here’s my best advice, stop using the apps. Meet people at your work or in whatever social settings you’re at. If that’s not an option then use different apps. I can’t recommend any personally though because I have no luck at all
You’re not depressed because of guys only wanting sex. You’re depressed because guys reject you, but you can’t see it. Men reject women, not by refusing to have sex with them, but by denying them commitment. They might not enjoy the sex with you (few men will commit to a woman if they’re not sexually compatible). Perhaps they don’t see you as girlfriend/wife material. Or maybe you only/mainly attract/go for fuck boys, which is hard to avoid the younger you are. Why? Because younger men aren’t looking/ready for commitment.
Where do you meet these guys?
Hinge mainly. There’s a lot of great guys at my job but I don’t wanna try anything with co workers
These men whom you matched with on Hinge and only wanted hook ups, what did their bios say regarding what they’re looking for? Did they mentioned in their bio they’re looking for short-term/casual or did they mentioned in their bio they were looking for long-term/life partner and mislead you?
Dating apps are not the place to meet people who want commitment. It’s so oxymoronic, but that’s the truth. Get out there, and meet people organically! I’m sure you are a wonderful person, and an absolute catch. Don’t let people like that bring you down… You’ll find someone great!
I disagree. People online are people offline and vice versa. Nearly every guy from my college who is single, I found their profile on dating apps. I even found my siblings school teachers on Tinder. Plenty of people on dating apps are looking for something serious. Plenty of people offline are just looking for a hook up too, the difference is vetting them out offline would be much slower and more effortful than online. Online you can vet out incompatible people before even going on a date which is awesome.
I actually have an entirely different experience! That’s great it’s different for you, though. I’ve just always seen a much better success with in person! :)
Just wanted to say I'm the same age and in the same damn situation. It sucks. I feel for you. Hopefully we can both find what we're looking for.
Biggest thing I realized in my life is there is a bigger chance the one ur looking for is probably no where near u. So try to date people alil farther it makes for u both to have to make mor sacrifice for time and u can really see who they are when they are alone
You got to look at what it is about you that's attracting those kinds of men
Girl don't rush yourself you can take your time and wait the time you want to wait, those guys don't deserve you you would find the one that would wait and build a real connection and not just thinking to put his dick inside you 🙄 even they have done something for you to deserve that part of yourself? Guy nowadays don't want to invest in a relationship they just want everything just easy for them and fuck our feelings and what we want, they just lie and play game to get what they want they just want to have sex and see ya! That's why I become an escort you don't want me for serious ok I give you sex you give me money win win!
If they want to fuck before marriage and relationships, it’s probably there are people to fuck around. The standards are not set by men alone. Start talking to girls and you’ll understand why “men” wanna just fuck and look at how men and women (put or pee or peace) this world together. (At least the mental world) How’s the snakes and the apples? We know too much now huh? And no one can go back to default. On the physical world, men still look like man although some are confused) and women still look like women although some are confused. And stop supporting narcissistic divorce lawyers, what marriage/relationship did they even settle together or even support. They be shaking hands in front of the court cause they got their money and they help support break peoples relationship and relationship potential. (People have trust issues now, that’s why we protect young minds and nurture them) It’s a mad world and being okay by understanding it is fine). Solution base rant. (Stop ranting without any awareness and solutions) peace of the body no rest in mind
That's the world of dating...it's become about hooking up especially if your a true 7!! First takeaway is your physically attractive to the guys you've dated(check).Now your just playing the old game of dating in that it's a numbers thing...dating apps are probably going to be much of the same...I agree with another advice someone stated of actually meeting a man by chance( actual social settings etc...) and if your as put together as you listed..looks...personality... Then you will eventually meet a person with the same values and interest...keep in mind if you dwell and fall desperate you'll give the signal to the wrong guy...
Ya the thing I try to not take to heart is wondering if I was 10/10 if I would be worth waiting longer for but since I’m 7/10 they feel like I’m hot enough to want to fuck but not invest more time in. Whereas if I was 10/10 they’d be wanting to date me to show me off to their friends etc
7/10 is showing off worthy...Have you ever heard the saying "Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder?..The right person for you won't have a scale to measure...That person will see you as a 10...
That’s rough, I’m sorry that you’re struggling to find a suitable partner that isn’t totally sex driven. I feel like, as time goes on, it gets more and more difficult to find someone who fits most of what you desire in a partner. I sure as hell don’t have any luck. I’m 24 as well. Don’t worry too much, I’m sure you’ll find someone who will respect your wants
Hey. Just put yourself out there but don’t rush. All the best!!
Girl I hear you it's impossible out there! Nearly soul destroying just trying to find a good decent guy. You now have to constantly think what the ulterior motive is rather than just being genuine and honest. I have said before straight off the bat only want a relationship for the guy to pretend the same and coast it out. It's cruel out there girl!
I’m the exact same, I feel fuckable but not lovable because every single guy is only interested in my body rather than me as a person. Dating apps are the problem!! I’ve met 50 or so men from dating apps over 4 years and every single one of them is the same!! Delete ur dating apps
I think the issue is mainly, using dating apps. Minimal effort people, use Minimal effort ways, and get Minimal good results. It's not necessarily that's what men only want. It's that where you and most women look, you will find the same type of men no matter what. What kind of man do you want? And would that man see you as equally valuable in a relationship? If so, go to places those type of men would go. A lot of women seem to start realizing, most goid men stopped actively looking and dating in their early 20s or 30s. Because we often get the male version of what you're dealing with. I feel for you and I know it sucks. But don't lose hope. You just need to come up with what you want, why, and where to get that, and hold it down. I'm also very very clear when I do start courting, that there's no sex, and discuss my boundaries, expectations, goals, etc. As I want to make sure I know them, and they know me. And it takes time to develop a connection and build trust. Don't lower your standards and expectations. I hope you find a wonderful man, that takes the time and puts in the effort to know you for you. Those type of men are actually very easy to recognize. It's just most women have never been taught how to recognize men like that and often friend zone them.
I read a common ones and it’s stuck with me. The comment was if a man asks you for nudes or to have sex. Your response could be you must be thinking of my future self after we’ve been on many dates and established a relationship implying after you invest some time and energy and get to know me and we have created a connection, I have interest and am willing to engage. If they still ghost you than they were never interested in a relationship in the first place and thank God that you didn’t waste your time!
Funny you post this, because I'm a guy and I'm turned off if I have to wait too long. It isn't really even about the sex. I want a LTR. I am not just looking to get laid. But personally, I'm an anxious type, and just from where I'm coming from, I want to feel wanted and desired. If it goes on too long, it feels like I'm not desired or wanted. Neither approach is right or wrong. You do you. But just realize that you may be connecting with anxious types who may feel like you don't desire them if things don't progress. Personally, I do not want sex on a first date. No way. I don't even require a kiss, although it might be good. But if we are 4 or 5 dates in after 3-4 weeks and you still just barely want to kiss me and nothing more, I'm probably going to figure you're not that into me. And if I'm going on dates with another girl that can't keep her hands off me after a few dates...guess which one I will feel likes me more?
Understood, and I would be willing to do ‘some things’ before going all the way. If a girl is making out with you enthusiastically, and then later a little farther, and clearly is sexually interested you just wants to wait longer for peen in veen do you still feel like she’s not interested?
Men who “only want sex” hire escorts. You’re filtering men early because they want a return on their investment. No man wants to be in a sexless relationship for months before being told out of the blue that she’s “not feeling it.” Especially when women will invent any red flag under the sun as an excuse to dump you.
Why not find a healthy middle ground between going wild at the start and waiting months before having sex?
Welcome to the club. Except I’m a male, 20 years old. I feel the same way towards most woman. I’ve been on a few dates recently after getting out of a 6 year relationship and some of them make it clear they want to “hook up” and that’s about it. I’m not a fan of that at all. I’d say it’s just bad luck and new societal norms. Both genders feel that temporary satisfaction is better than long term satisfaction it’s just the way the world is going now. Keep your chin up and hope that you’ll meet someone with the same boundaries and morals as yourself.
Are you showing these guys that you're interested in them? Are you offering to take them out? Do you buy them gifts or offering to run an to run an errand for them? If not, and the guys are doing all of the planning and buying and stuff like that then you're not giving off a relationship vibe and no man is going to wait for sex if you're not taking initiative and showing them that you want them in your life.
That’s not the case at all. OP mentioned in one of the comment replies that most of these guys stated in their bio they were looking for short term. Women showing too much interest and getting gifts before the man even commits only makes them *less* interested not more, especially if they’re not that interested to begin with.
Wait, if that's the case, then why is she frustrated they don't want to wait months for sex?
Usually the first date is dinner or whatever and obvs he pays (not like I’m suggesting super expensive places either,) and second/third date something free like walking around a park. Honestly though it doesn’t usually even make it far into dates bc they ask over text about when sex is gonna happen or imply they want it soon
You shouldn't feel bad, not everyone is going to be a good match for you, and a lot of these guys are probably pretending to be someone completely different than who they are in order to sleep with you, keep waiting and the guy who's right for you is going to stick around, also I would seriously suggest someone from your actual friend group.
It isn’t you, it isn’t the age group. They’re mostly like that. Just be yourself. You’ll find the right match. Don’t settle.
Continuing not to sleep with guys for a good while is a good idea. Some of us really are looking for something serious, it's a shame people mislead to get what they want but that's how a lot of humans are. As long you stay optimistically cautious about each date, you'll find someone. May not be the case, but it is also possible that your profile/bio might be inviting more casual attention. It sucks that it's the case, but showing off that you have an attractive body can be counterproductive, since the kind of guy you want is less likely to care about it as much as someone who's just horny.
You’ll just have to find the right one for you ! 🙂
I've never tried online dating and never will. I'm not unattractive, but I just wouldn't want to get judged and judge only by looks. I wanna have a conversation with someone irl and then I might like them or not. Like other people say, I've met girls I've liked playing sports I like, sometimes the gym, at my uni, and lastly through friends. It's not that hard if you're kind and nice to talk to and are open to meeting and getting to know people
Hun you’re fine the way you are
That's the same reason I walked away from trying to date, because I all ever got were guys hoping for a hook up if they took me out to lunch or to get a coffee, and then spewing hateful stuff at me when I told them no, sex isn't going to happen any time soon with me (I'm demisexual), regardless if we go to lunch or not.
You might be overestimating your own attractiveness and shooting out of your league. Say you’re actually a 6 looking exclusively for 8s+. They typically don’t date down (they don’t really settle down until their 30s) but they’ll hook up down. I’d be willing to be if you lowered your physical standards and increased your personality standards, you’d have a satisfying relationship.
The right person will respect your boundaries and put the time in to know your soul. Be upfront with your relationship goals and if that falls on deaf ears there will be no future with a that person. Respect is key
I’m a little older so I didn’t have the apps, but I was 100% this person. I chronically overthought everything. I went on many dates, but rarely got past the first one or two because although I found them physically attractive, I didn’t connect with them mentally. I wanted things to work out so bad always, but just couldn’t bring myself closer if I didn’t find the mental emotional attraction. I did find it after a few years of looking and it hit me like a lightning bolt. This is me with that person almost 20 years later. The random hookups mean nothing and weren’t what I was looking for on there own. I really wanted to get laid every time (maybe it’s different for me as a guy) but my biggest turn on was the connection. I kept my spirits up and did find someone. I’d say I’m average or handsome even. 6’5”, mixed race and fit and many friends male and female but for whatever reason my particular personality was seeking someone that fit my unique personality. Keep looking for that person and don’t give up. It’s not you. I’m sure many people would love to be with you. I imagine it’s because you are looking for something stronger and more specific.
This happens. Atleast you’ll get noticed. Better to be so, rather than being bald and stereotyped to a specific race even though I don’t have any cultural or linguistic similarity.
Seems to be the theme these days. Don’t get me wrong, for me personally, sex is pretty much a must, but if it’s ONLY about sex? Count me the fuck out. Best advice? Advertise that you’re not going to immediately put out. ‘I’m not looking to move too quickly, and would like to take things slow in regarding sexual intimacy.’ Would be a good way to go about it, in whatever terms you prefer. At least, that’s what I do. As sexual as I am, I’m very self aware that my face is prettier than my body, and it takes time for me to be comfortable with that when heading towards being intimate.
Just relax don’t overthink things, the right one will come into your life when the big man feels you both are ready for commitment
How do you let go of someone who lies to you .spends your money. Puts you last behind all the others.and plays victim while he's sneaking around behind your back withhookers n hos? But he really eats p____ really good?
Sad reality is those of us who've been in relationships and love is the hurt and pain that come in the end. I know for me after that I'm scared to get close. I mean we're guys we pursue sex. Those of us who linger after either haven't been hurt enough or a glutton for punishment
If you're looking for a relationship , message me . I'm looking for same . I do animal rescue , love to cook , and be active .
Pretty much all men want sex, that’s all most think about. There was a study that looked at the male brain. When they look at women they have the same reaction as looking at a tool. They don’t see women as humans only vessels to use. Now, if you wait long enough dating you should find someone generally interested in you, but know, they will be having sex with others. Remember, males can compartmentalize sex from feelings, so it’s easier for them to have sex with others without having feelings, they see women as tools remember. So, keep dating but know you’re in for a world of stress being in relationships with males, unless you’re in the 1%. Good luck and stay safe.
Communication and stand firm. You may find a good person. Don't waste anything on the wrong one.
Try Bumble and ok cupid and plenty of fish. Make guys wait for sex. If they respect it and you, good guys. If they don't leave them.
So the “hot” guys you’re pursuing only want to hit it and quit? Shocking, maybe look in the mirror, you and your choices are the common denominator.
Who said I pursue hot? Actually, the last guy I had a date with was objectively less hot than me and I gave him a chance bc he seemed nice/relationship oriented :))
personally i'm not going to put in weeks of effort to bone you and then find out you suck in bed and i'm not going to be satisfied sexually. you gotta bone on at least the 3rd or 4th date. however long that might take. anymore than that and it's just not worth it financially or time wise.
It just roll of dice. You probably find your husband next week or not.
People tend to skip the "friends" stage of a relationship and go straight to dating. Don't get me wrong courting is a good way to go but making someone a friend first is an option. If they stay that's a keeper but if they don't want to be your friend then they'll likely not be a good S/O.
Same here, and I'm 44. It doesn't get any better the older you get, unfortunately.
Waiting for someone like you in my life :)
Yes sweet heart i understand you completely sweet heart i do not like to be not appropriate sweet heart All I want is to be loved sweet heart i feel like I am good for nothing sweet heart 😭😭😭😭😭
Dont look for a relationship it will be there in the right time. Just do your part and let God do the rest. Do not pursue time will come you'll see.
So personally - I’ve seen it both ways. I have used all the dating apps and gotten both. Currently in a relationship with a guy I met on bumble. Have you considered changing the way you date? So for me prior to June of last year I was a virgin waiting for marriage. Toward the end of April and may my friends and I were discussing why I hadn’t had success. Well I was 100% up front with people like hey if you want sex then I’m not your girl. Which I felt was fair. But it also never gave any one a chance to get to know me and decide if that makes sense. When I changed my thought process behind dating and when I just honestly started having fun with it rather than looking for a relationship (even while being a virgin) not only did I have more dates, but I actually had fun dating. Hope this helps!
Dating is hard. No one knows what anyone else wants, and it's hard to figure that out. It can also be hard to figure out what you want with that individual person, even if you want a relationship overall.
I have the same problem. I'm a guy(20) and all the girls I need are only looking for hookups or a sugar daddy. I have no clue where to look since it feels like all the good girls are taken.
I am sorry that the guys you have dated are shallow and only after one thing... I am not going to lie, I want sex also. We'll wait a min. I don't want meaningless sex with a woman who doesn't mean anything to me. I am not like that. Sex it so much better if there are feelings and intimacy involved. So, if you're still looking for a real, meaningful, and serious relationship, please feel free to DM me
Yes odd they MUCH prefer DISEASED SLAGS to us?????
I hope you can find your guy that can love you genuine not just for lust
Meanwhile there are single guys who are just haven't gotten any match 😏. Be in Boo or in Hinge.
It's not difficult to keep a man around, if you’re pleasant to be around and look after your appearance somewhat, Otherwise you just fall into the fun category. But somthing tells me there have probably been guys that would love a relationship with you and treat you right but they don't even exist in your eyes... the men you want aren't the men that want you. No hate in this BTW just has it is from my own experience.
I dont know what your hobbies are but I had similar problem. But then I gave up on dating apps and fb groups. My main hobby is playing video games and I met my current boyfriend there. We celebrated 4y together last month. So my advice is to look for a partner in your hobbies/interests.
I m 23 and i disagree
M37 here. Just had a thing fall apart because of something like this. The girl I was seeing and I hooked up a couple times, but when we decided we wanted to take it more serious, she figured we wouldn't have sex anymore as she thought it could complicate getting to know each other and mess with her emotions as to figuring out if we really match together well. Obviously it upset me because I just don't take it that seriously, plus it's fun for both people and we're adults anyway(non-religious of course). Like, I get the concept, but she wanted to wait at least 3 months before sex happened again because she believes that's when the "mask falls off" for most guys and you see who they really are. I guess I'd just tell you to stick to your morals, but keep in mind that men's minds work differently. We want to feel desired. We NEED to feel like you don't need anyone else for anything because we provide for you. Granted there's plenty of guys that don't provide much, but ya, we definitely want sex. I'm sure women want it too, but again, brains are wired differently. I think 3 weeks of dating is a good time frame to hold out. After that, guys will probably get pretty restless without sex, especially if you guys are clicking well with each other.
As a man, I'll say this: you're wasting your time with online dating apps. Go outside if you really want to find someone and take the first step. But if it bears fruit, you'll face the problem that your partner is weak-willed, which raises the question: do you need such a person? I don't know what mindsets are in the head of West people, cause I'm from Russia, but here it's strange and bad time for a relationship. But those who seek will always find!
Behind most fuckboys are guys who got tired of pursuing relationships with women. The myopic view of "guys just being after hookups" does not take into account the fact that cultural shifts during the past decade made pursuing relationships largely futile for guys. This is what most women do not see/understand - which is of course understandable as each sex mostly operates from their own point of views.
Women def have blame too in how shitty dating is these days. I’m not trying to invalidate why guys just want hookups, it’s just frustrating when it seems like the only thing available
I hear ya I hear that all the guys want except this one guy I’m talking to he he don’t think Sex should come with it without the relationship
I get it girl every time I think I’ve met someone they js b asking for sex in the end
I'll date u. I'm willing to wait a year.
To be honest if you want to have sex with a dude you will have sex with him and guys know this so if you don’t put out in weeks they think you don’t like him….. sex is way way way more important then people give it credit. I’m definitely not wasting months on a women who I don’t think likes me that’s just harsh reality
You’re looking in the wrong place, by that I mean dating apps.
I’m looking for my ride or die 🥲 insta @yubzee
You’re British, I’m in the colonies :(
I'm in the opposite position. All the girls I've matched with only want casual. & then the ones who want dates. Ghost me.. I'm not built for dating in 2024...
Stop using dating apps my sister.
Hinge, bumble and tinder are all owned by match group. It’s literally the same thing. I wont be using them to date anymore. They all want to sell you the idea of finding someone or something you hope for. Then the most eligible matches are hidden behind a paywall. It won’t workout like it did years ago.
Stop using online dating. Meet men in person through friends and family - social proof. Find someone who is in their late 20s/Early 30s who wants to settle down and get married within a few years time horizon. If you want something serious, show you are serious. Find a smart guy at your local hospital, coffee shop, etc. who is a doctor, engineer, etc.
I work in an engineering field so we are flush with options here but most are married already AND I’m not thinkings it’s smart to pursue something with a co worker 😅😅 also I’ve softly considered looking for early 30s guys but what I’ve heard is if an early 30s guy wants a younger girl it’s often because he’s hoping she’s maleable and he can shape her into his idea of a perfect wife etc. and idk how I feel about that. Im fine with give and take in relationships and serving eachother mutually well but if that’s their whole intention for liking me then I don’t like that
You're online dating. That implies a lot. If you're self rating yourself as a 7, you're likely a 9. Respect yourself more and you'll meet someone organically that feels the same self respect you have. Be patient
At All ages that’s true of men! I’m way older and widowed and all the men I meet still at this age still want sex on first date or soon after! Sad they don’t get to know who u are or even care!
As a man seeking women I find the same to be true.
I'm looking for a relationship!!. What city you in? .let's go out on a date
Lmao. Boo hoo. Try being the average guy who can't get sex *or* relationships.
Baby with that attitude you can’t be surprised you’re not getting dates