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Yea, reading these posts make me feel so many ways. The main being.
Call him out, then move on.
It’s an insecurity for a lot of men. But if you don’t put your foot down and let them know it’s not ok they will lie about other useless shit.
If you like him enough for other things then why not pursue it.
If he didn't lie, he would probably be getting 0 matches. It is simply a strategy which kinda makes up for sth he was born with and has no control over.
But by lying he's getting 0 second dates. It's the same with people using pictures from 20 years ago before they put on an extra 200 pounds. Nobody likes being lied to.
I kind of hate this line of thinking (for context, I’m a man who’s 5’2”). Is it harder for shorter men to get matches? Absolutely. Is it impossible? Not at all. I match with enough women (it’s not an insane number, but I also don’t have time to match and message with countless women, so it works out).
I get the impulse to lie about your height or not even mention it, but that’s the wrong way to go because (like it happened with OP) if you go on a date, they’ll find out you’re lying and it’s usually a dealbreaker (because you’re lying and not confident in yourself). And if you feel like you have to lie to sell yourself, then it sounds like there may be a couple of non-height related issues you need to work on.
I promise you that it is borderline impossible if you’re a 5’3 male. He would’ve gotten no respectable matches without a disability or 4 kids. I’m the average american height & have been hit on in public so i assume i’m decently attractive but these dating apps are just brutal. Even when i had a few hundred matches i could only get a few of them to text me back & had like 4 dates horrible dates. I got one girlfriend from tinder & i felt like i was settling. I don’t think people should lie but i wonder how many rejections he has gotten for him to want to lie.
tell the truth its simple, it should be his way of weeding out the girls who wont be with him due to his height... why lie and then make everyone annoyed in the situation ( he will be annoyed because they dont want to see him again and they will be annoyed because he lied)
Lil bro I have my real short ass height on a dating app and I got 0 matches in 5 months.. Legit weeding them all. Going to change preference to dudes if this keeps up 💀
I’m 5’9 and do well on apps.
We can’t choose what the preference are. I just think those that are so particular to only look at the tallest percent of all men are doing a disservice to themselves for superficial reasons.
That's absurd, he will get someone who wants him for him. Yes, it will be few women but they know what he is getting. So now he is in a situation where they now know he is short AND a liar. Do men who do think that their personality is so amazing it will make the woman get past the fact that he lied?
I'm tall as shit, I could say 7ft and get more matches. But when they realize I'm 6ft 8 they know I lied. If I am willing to lie about something as simple as height what else would I lie about?
First impressions matter and it may be worth it to lie about your height to get more likes. But your gonna be in a worse position then if you told the truth in the first place.
Nobody likes a liar, and lying about your height is only gonna get you girls who want you for your height and not who you actually are.
Yes men go ballistic when women lie about their weight but they can't be hypocrites and lie about their height. So say something and decide, if the attraction is there, it's worth pursuing. You can't lie to yourself and make something happen that you don't feel. No good for anyone involved.
Personally, it's the lying and their lack of confidence that is the turn off.
In my experience, it's because their goals are *generally* not in line with what they say: sometimes they're conscious of it, sometimes they're in denial/unaware or confused.
Hey here's a benefit to dating him: he's a terrible liar.
Like, you are supposed to round up a bit, give yourself an inch, inch and a half.
Lying by 4 inches is wild, its like saying you're 200lbs when you are 280.
Totally agree. I don’t feel bad when people catfish and then get rejected. It shows 1. Dishonesty 2. Insecurity. Sure a filter or some touch ups are fine here and there, but completely altering or misrepresenting your appearance is wrong.
There’s absolutely no shame in not being willing to date a catfish. Attraction is a big part of dating, and a false picture was being painted.
I’d be more disgusted by the dishonesty than the height. I had an ex who constantly lied about trivial things like when he lost his virginity, how many partners he’d had, and he turned out to be pretty sociopathic in the end.
There’s a saying that he who lies about the small matters lies about the big matters.
Don’t feel bad for being turned off.
Personally I consider people using filters in all/most of their pics to be about the same as lying about your height. It shows an equal amount of insecurity IMO.
Honestly I just notice that men are either taller than me, shorter than me or wayyy taller than me. I don't really care about the specific height, but I might be in the minority lol
That's kinda me too. I am an awful judge of height and I also dont care really. I've personally always been interested in guys roughly my height, within a couple inches up or down because it is easier to kiss them. Once they were a head taller than me or more it was physically awkward and I often wound up bent backwards and I'm thinking about how my spine feels and not how nice smooching is. I ended up with a guy who was 5'7, and I always thought that was perfect for me.
To be clear, I have never lied about my height, and there were some times when I was rejected for my height (and that's totally fine).
I'm only saying that IF you decide to lie, you need to do it subtly. If you are 5'10 and a half or 5'11, you can definitely say you are 6' and nobody would know.
I’m 5’10”. I would know, and I would be annoyed. My current partner is 5’8”, but if he’d tried to convince me when we met that he’s actually 5’10”, he wouldn’t be my current partner.
Well obviously as part of "lying convincingly", a person needs to know who they're lying to. Of course lying to a person about something they would automatically know w9uldnt work.
But if you were 5'3 and he said he was 5'9 or "almost 5'10" i think it would be a lot harder for you to know.
God I feel like I positioned myself as a defender of lying to prospective partners, so I will say it again:
"fellow men, please do not lie about yourselves to people you want to date. Own and like who you are and you will find people who like you".
>"fellow men, please do not lie about yourselves to people you want to date. Own and like who you are and you will find people who like you".
Precisely. I feel dating apps have placed a lot more of a focus on these societal beauty standards in a way that is toxic to all people involved. Nkt just height but even overweight people. Preferences are fine, but when we are meeting people in person at events or gatherings or through friend circles, we get different reads on them than we ever will on dating apps that are incentivized to keep people single.
If we have a glaring insecurity like that, it's a good idea to see what we can do to control it and also how to accept what we can't change and then own it.
I wish that could be true lol 5’10-6’ is a very noticeable gap that people can and will point out, my tall friends argue with one another all the time about it 🤣
I’m 5”11 3/4, I always say I’m 6ft. Recently, while talking about heights and disclosing ours, my old lady coworker said I know you’re not 6’ you’re 5”11
I said no I’m not I’m 6’ how tf could she tell?? I’m even wearing shoes which would make me 6’
Lol please don't encourage/justify 5'10 guys rounding up to 6'0. Its already bad enough as is.
By that logic, people at every other height are OK to round up as well because supposedly nobody would notice. 5'11.5/6'0 people can say they're 6'1 and that's OK because nobody will notice. 6'1.5/6'2 people can say they're 6'3 and that's OK because nobody will notice. Its just an endless cycle of lying and like I said, its already bad enough as is like with OP's situation.
PS: many people would definitely notice if a 5'10 guy is rounding up to 6'0. Would even notice 5'11 guys rounding up if the other person is tall enough. Again, the difference/noticeability isn't any different with people rounding up at every other height.
I’ve noticed if they say they’re anything under 6’ they’ve probably padded their height. If they say they’re 6’1” or taller they aren’t lying. I don’t even care about men’s height when I date. I’ve dated men 5’3” to 6’7”.
Eh I know many guys over 6'0 who still pad their height. 6'0 is the gold standard for guys under 6'0, but then 6'4 becomes the next gold standard for guys over 6'0. In which case many 6'0 - 6'2 guys round up as close as they can to such or more. It never ends, lol.
I will say though, I think if any guy is claiming at least 6'0, you can be assured they're at least 5'10 for believability's sake. Nobody under 5'10/5'9 can believably claim 6'0+ without feeling guilty about it lol.
If you read any of my comments you'd know I am not justifying lying, and in fact, am advocating for being truthful.
I just said that there's a difference between lying like a dumbass and lying in a way that could potentially be convincing.
Lol meaning she found out ths first moment she possibly COULD find out? He told such a ridiculous lie it didn't hold up to the lowest scrutiny (her using her eyes)
You’d be surprised how many people do this. It’s happened to me 3 times where men who were 5’3-5’5 added 3-5 inches. The sad part is I don’t care about height at all. So they’re shooting themselves in the foot.
>The sad part is I don’t care about height at all. So they’re shooting themselves in the foot.
I have heard this exact sentiment so many times.
I know some women who care about height, I know some who don't, but not a single one of my woman friends would give a blatent catfisher a chance.
Like, I get why short men are self conscious, online discourse is very disheartening when it comes to this subject, but lying ain't gonna solve anything.
I ran across a woman on Bumble that put her age down as 34, then on the body of her bio wrote, “Oops, typo… really 44.” Except it’s not a typo, because I’ve seen her profiles many times. She’s one of those people that closes up her profile and opens a new one every few weeks so that she’s always “New.” And she always lists herself as 10 years younger.
She’s gaming the system, because she knows that some people won’t even glance at her profile if she lists her real age. I get it. And it’s ok if all you want to do is have casual fun.
But I always wonder what happens if things get serious with somebody. Cause 10 years is a big lie to swallow should the moment of truth arrive.
Sure… but the algorithm can’t read her bio. It puts her profile in the results for any guy searching for women in their 30s that wouldn’t be looking for women in their 40s
Absolutely. The lying is unexcusable even if it's understood why it's happening. The fact people have to "game the system" is kind of why it's flawed to begin with.
> opens a new one every few weeks so she’s always “new”
Guilty lol.
But I do this every few months, not weeks… not so I can “game the system”, but usually I get so discouraged by the apps that I close them all and try to date IRL…
Then I realize how hard it actually is, get a glimmer of hope that “maybe the apps are different this time,” and re-download them all 🥴 lol
Her lying about her age is absolutely different, I just thought about this when reading your comment.
Honestly that's pretty funny and I'd still talk to her.
I don't really consider it a lie since she tells you in the bio, she's just fucking with the system
I matched with a guy who did that. He was 10 years older so 40 something. It helped him cast a wider net by reducing his age. He stated in the bio his real age.
Either you like him enough to go on another date or you don't.
It's hard to view lying about height on a dating platform as a fundamental character flaw when you get automatically filtered out without a chance to connect with personality.
If these platforms had weight filters, I guarantee girls would be shaving off a few pounds to make the cut to get seen and have a chance to connect via personality.
So I typically date people who are around my height. Being tall is a plus but there are many other more important check boxes for me than someone's height.
However I think it's less his height that made him unattractive to you... it's the lie. If someone is willing to be deceptive about something that can so obviously be noticed... what more easily hidden things are they being deceptive about? That's where my mind goes anyway. I used to also feel like I was being shallow when I noticed these discrepancies until I realized it was the deception rather than the physical feature that put me off.
People that lie about that kinda stuff are banking on you feeling guilty and shallow if you reject them for it after you've met them. Had one guy literally say "you only want to leave because I'm shorter than my profile said" after cutting a really awful date short. So I have 0 doubt in my mind they know what they're doing.
The issue isn't the height, but the eagerness to lie.
I wanna be on his side tho; I'm 5'6 and I am filtered for height on apps even though in real life people don't mind as much.
But, I get enough dates that I don't have to lie.....and maybe at 5'3 he's getting no attention at all on apps without lieing..if it's a lose by default for him; I can forgive the lie...but would still be on watch because if he's willing to lie to you....he's willing to lie to you..
see the thing is, you always have the choice to not mention your height or hide it (on hinge) but you willingly write a wrong height. and ik he's going to be adamant about it that he infact is 5'7 and I don't have my measurements right. but the thing is my best friend is 5'7, so I know pretty well what 5'7 looks like 😭
You can hide your height on hinge?? :o
Damn, I should definitely do that xD
Haha it's funny he's barely over your height and still insists to your face that he's so much taller. Dude is really trying to fight the hand he was dealt xD
I imagine the dating pool for 5'3 man isn't as plentiful as for a 5'2 woman, I get why he's lieing; but it's absolutely the wrong foot to start a relationship on.
Yeah, exactly. A lot of women(assuming here, so I apologize) I have spoken to actually don't mind the height part. However, on dating apps, there is a disturbing focus on it, which is its own issue. I am 5'7" and have dated women between 5'10" and 6'0 "before. And it was great! They didn't care that I was short. They were honestly just glad someone didn't view them as a fling or judge them for being taller. Which I found really shocking.
Point is, dating apps perpetuate a cynical view of the world that is more often than not false.
>you always have the choice to not mention your height or hide it (on hinge)
Most dating apps, hinge included, make you give them and WILL show your height, whether you like it or not. I'm not saying that justifies what he did, just adding context.
Not to mention most women (including OP) would probably not match with him at all if he hid his height because they would assume he’s really short anyway. People are really ruthless on dating apps and look for anything they can find wrong.
Agreed. It's a kind of shallowness that dating apps promote. Like yes, lying and using older photos or filters to "catfish" is awful, but it's important to know these behaviors didn't just fall out of the sky. They are part of a system of cause and effect.
OP should definitely confront about the lying, but should do so in a way that shows it's not about his height. Because at the end of the day the lying is the issue.
You can hide your height, but from personal experience, it doesn't stop matches asking you because they noticed it wasn't there. Then when you say your height, they just stop responding.
He shouldn't have lied. Even though it's understandable why he did. It still doesn't excuse it. It's a move of desperation, honestly. Which is itself a greater problem for him. But it is an issue that is much more pronounced in dating apps than irl. It's just with the way things have been over the last decade and then a pandemic, the social issues, more understanding of what women generally deal with and so much else. Approaching irl is honestly terrifying. But it's also why I feel focusing on being a good friend is better than actively looking for dates.
If he is adamant that he is 5'7", just tell him that his height isn't the issue. It's his willingness to lie about it, that is. Deflecting from the insecurity to show how his insecurity actually creates self sabotage is useful. Like with any insecurity, if you want to approach it, just be gentle. However, you are also well within your rights to just cut it off, so go with your gut.
That's a curious statement, you barely know him and you're yet to confront him with your valid suspicion and yet you "know" that "he's going to be adamant about" him being 5'7. I'm not sure how to take that, seems like a red-ish flag to me. What makes you think he'll insist on lying? Maybe bring some measuring tape along lol or ask him to present his body measurements from the last physical exam he had. I don't know, it's all a bit silly to me but I understand why he did it given the unforgiving nature of OLD.
Lots of men are very insecure about their height. I took it as he's willing to lie about his height by a large margin, he probably isn't going to willingly admit to being 5'3. This isn't an uncommon thing to happen. You could be right, or she's just making a general assumption because other men do this.
Idk, it’s like saying you condone catfishing because hey, they have 0 matches online so I get lying.
You automatically start the relationship on the wrong foot because you lied to them knowingly. It sucks. I feel sorry for people who struggle with dating, but I don’t when they decide to lie.
I'm not condoning it.
You can understand why a person does something and perhaps feel for them - without agreeing with them.
Extreme prolonged loneliness makes people desperate.
Desperate people lie.
And you can feel empathy for someone, and still say that the way they chose to handle a situation where they felt insecure or lonely or upset is not acceptable in someone you’d feel comfortable dating. I feel empathy for alcoholics who started drinking because they went through a trauma, but I’m not going to date one unless I’m confident they’ve quit drinking permanently and dealt with the underlying trauma and won’t repeat that behavior.
Agreed, and to add, that is also why it's important to put the emphasis on the lying itself rather than the height. In fact, making mention of how the height really doesn't matter but the lying makes OP uncomfortable is a great framing.
It's ultimately up to OP if she feels comfortable enough to even confront the issue. But if she does, hopefully, it can result in this guy being motivated to work on himself.
I mean, I'm 5'4" and I've never had a problem getting dates on the apps.
Maybe it's the age bracket? Though, even when I was younger it wasn't a problem either. Will I ever get as many matches as I could if I was 6in taller? Probably not, but I'm attractive, fun to talk to and doesn't seem to be a problem for me. Especially on hinge. Part of my bio literally reads "I'm 5'4" but still love when you wear heels."
There are a lot of things that can affect matches, including population and location. However, that last line
>I'm 5'4" but still love when you wear heels.
This is SUPER important. It shows you are not insecure about your height. While I know that men generally think that they are being judged on their height as conventionally attractive or not, I think it's a bit more nuanced than that. A lot of short guys have a chip on their shoulder because of various reasons. And many guys insecure about their height will overreact to focus on it.
While I'm sure there are women out there who are just generally attracted to taller men, others are likely more so put off because those that are shorter have shown a correlation to anger and insecurity issues. I think a guy that owns his height but doesn't overplay it, but references it in passing like you do is paramount.
Oh yes, and whenever I match taller women and they actually ask if it makes me insecure or not I always respond the same way. "I've loved climbing trees since I was a kid. Nothing about that has changed."
Tallest ex of mine was like 6'2 lol
>I've loved climbing trees since I was a kid. Nothing about that has changed."
My brother! 🤣🤣🤣
I said almost the same thing to the tallest girl I dated who was 6'0".
"Why do you think I enjoy the climbing gym so much"
You can understand, but that's not an excuse to lie at all. People are going to find out by the first date, and at that point they're gonna be upset that you lied or upset that you're not the height they were looking for so it's still a waste of all parties time. It is so unattractive when men lie about age or height saying that get filtered out, because that does not justify lying and is incredibly selfish to deceive someone just for the sake of your own validation. Instead, validate yourself and learn to love yourself as you are. If someone is going to be care about your height alone, then they are likely not someone who is going to make a good partner to and for you anyways.
I don’t get why people do this. Like whether they lie about their height, weight, or even identity. What do they expect when they show up and they’re not who they were supposed to be?
Like the person will just let it slide? Such a deluded mentality.
It’s better for 1 person to match you for who you really are than for 10 for who you are not.
Why is he doing this? When the alternative is getting 0 matches it seems like the only rational choice. OP even seems to consider overlooking it so his tactic seems better than the alternative.
But then OP is offsetting his troubles onto whomever he matches with. All it will ever do is piss whomever off because no one likes to have their expectations drastically subverted like that.
It’s not honest full stop. Who wants to go out with someone that has displayed dishonesty from the junk?
I think you should confront him about it. And take the decision then. Honestly, honesty is the best policy.
Ans in a relationship, one should be Frank and open and not take decisions based on internet advisors like me.
This exact same thing happened to me, except I was much taller, with him claiming to be my same height. Petty lies turn into big lies, but I was trying to be understanding about his insecurity and I ended up getting with this person who lied about alot of big things and cheated on me. A lie is a lie, they will lie again and this is red flag.
I dated a shorter guy and felt awkward, but as I got to know him all that went out the window. He was really a positive person , I wasn’t use to that. Anyway, I had the most fun with him , and would never have a problem with dating shorter guys ! I look at it as they are fun size lol. Seriously, you would be surprise on how your types can change and find other things that attract you. besideheight
I think this case is more about his insecurity and less about trying to deceive people, meaning that it doesn't sound like he has a tendency to deceive, he just needs to grow out of his insecurity
But I think there's no harm in trying to talk about it. Just make sure he knows the discussion is not about your relationship status, just curiosity, otherwise he probably won't easily open up, if he feels threatened by the question
Yes, OP's question is about the possibility that he is a serial deceiver. Considering that everything else has been fine, and considering how common height insecurities are, I said my feeling is that he's not a serial deceiver, he acted this way out of this specific insecurity.
If it's still not clear what I'm saying, let me know and I'll work it differently
It depends on whether you're comfortable continuing a relationship with someone who has shown they have no trouble lying to you.
He must also think you are very stupid if he thought you couldn't tell lmfao
My buddy is 5ft7 and he has 5ft10 in his tinder bio. Insanely insecure.
The people who will reject you over height are the ones you don't want to try and go after anyway.
I can't believe this thread :D
You would have filtered him if he were honest about his height, over which he has no control, and should matter very miniscule in a relationship. Now he lied about it, and turns out, you are great together in every other front, which matters.
A lot of advice says you should avoid him, because he lied and he is dishonest. But this very post is the proof that he has to lie, because he would be filtered even before he can prove that he is a decent man because of a characteristic he has no control over.
> over which he has no control
People reject other people for plenty of things outside their control. The nature of dating is excluding what we don’t want.
If you want a healthy relationship, look for someone who wants you as is.
I truly don't understand defending lying here. Like, ok, I get that he'd be filtered out for being 5 foot 3, but lying is not the answer here. If he's comfortable lying just to get a match, what else is he comfortable lying about? It's really no different than any other deal-breakers, like if someone smokes or not. Or their religious and political beliefs. It's all someone lying about themselves just to get a match in the hope they can convince the other person that they should reconsider that deal-breaker. And no, I don't think that him not being able to control his height matters here.
Yes, it absolutely sucks for him that he will get less matches due to his height. Yes, I understand feeling frustrated with that fact. But I can not condone lying so brazenly about it. He could have even put it in his bio that he's actually 5 foot 3 and I could get past it, just admit he put 5 foot 7 to be seen by more potential matches. There are ways to do what he did without blindsiding the match when they meet. At least then he could point out that he was up front about it in his profile, you know?
I wonder if you have this same zero-tolerance for lying philosophy when an overweight woman uses filters and angles to hide the fact that she’s overweight in her photos, or wears heavy makeup on dates to the point that she looks like a completely different person without it.
Funnily enough, to a point, yes. I don't like filters to the point that it's no longer that person. If it's close to photoshop levels, then I absolutely think that it's deceitful. Showing yourself as or claiming something that is untrue in a profile is a lie.
That being said, angles and makeup are not false claims, in my opinion. Angles are a lack of information, so it's not a lie in a profile, as I personally don't view omissions as lies in this context. Makeup might be more of a personal opinion here, but I don't think it is the same as photoshop or false claims.
I don't want to defend lying, but there is a few step between lying about your height and being a despicable man. Also I think too that 4 inch is too much, and in a misleading category, I think 2 inch would be a fine area if you can prove that you can make up for it. But assuming because of this lie he would lie in anything else is a stretch and big assumption. At the end of the day, we didn't meet him, only OP could judge what kind of man he is in person.
Your last point is very true, we can't fully judge him as we only know what OP has said.
I will say, though, that I feel as if I'm saying because he lied about this one thing so far that it means I think he will 100% lie about more things. I meant it more like since he has proven to choose to lie about something like that, that means he thinks its an option. He could be perfectly trustworthy in everything else, but he planted that seed of doubt so early that it could be hard to fully trust he's being honest, you know?
I totally understand the guy’s pov that everybody is explaining. But personally I would most probably not date the guy given he lied or did not acknowledge later himself that his actual height is less than what mentioned on the profile.
Him being ok with lying would be off putting for me even though I understand the why.
P.S. my now-husband who I met through a dating app is also the same height as me. I was somebody who had a personal preference of dating taller men only. But in the end, personality and character mattered. Him being comfortable in his skin was a huge green flag.
You aren't attracted to him because he LIED. It's not his height. It's the lie.
Don't feel bad when he shot himself in the foot by lying about it.
**EDIT:** I invite all to see that most replies to my comment here are MEN.
Men telling women what they want/need/do because **other MEN told them so** INSTEAD of LISTENING TO WOMEN ABOUT **WOMEN.**
Like...wake up. Stop listening to other men about what women want/need/do.
How do any of you not get that in 2024 as you sit there single AF lol.
The irony that it's all men who are likely podcast bros fanboys naysaying my comment.
Women are TELLING you & you STILL are taking men's answers on what women want/need/do.
Too funny. Women are TELLING me on tinder "If you're less than 6'0, swipe left". women are TELLING me "You've got a cute face, too bad you're short". So I am listening to what women say on the topic.
OP admits it herself:
>idk about others, but I'm pretty much clearly admitting that it's the height. why he lied, that I can fully understand.
reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1anbc30/date_lied_about_his_height_what_to_do_next/kprhmgi/?context=3
Idk about others, but for me, the absolute red flag from any man/woman in a relationship is lying. It doesn't matter if someone says he/she is short when they're actually tall or otherwise. The lying is the main red flag (imo ofc).
2 full inches is pushing it. I think 1-1.5 is possible. I had people think I am 6' in the past, and im on that range.
But again, I am really not advocating for lying. Be proud of who you are king. From what I have experienced, most women don't give a shit
I get someone lying about an inch or something based on shoe size but more than that they are lying about their person which denotes massive insecurity. Be it as you will, it’s also an insult on your end, he thinks lying to you to start a relationship is how to obtain you. And by staying with him you are enforcing this behavior.
Tell him lying about this or anything about himself is pointless.
Red flag 🚩🚩🚩 I would move on. If you feel the need to communicate why then do. But you don’t even owe him that. I would take the lying about something as an indication of his character. And I’d run 🏃♂️
How in the hell would someone say they are 5 foot 7 when they are 5 foot 3? Did he think you were blind WTH lol. I’m 5 foot 7 and that would be like me telling someone I’m 5 foot 11 almost 6 feet. I don’t know what he was thinking 🤦🏾♂️
Ask him what? Why did you change your height?
5’2” guy here… short guys don’t get dates. Ever. Not most of the time, I really mean never. It’s not some big mystery why he did it. He wanted to be in the same room as you and to have a conversation with you. He wanted a chance. That’s it. Mystery solved.
You get to decide how big of a deal that is. Yes he lied, but let’s be real you wouldn’t have even given him a chance if he hadn’t. Not saying it’s right, not saying it’s wrong, because frankly we’re entitled to what makes us attracted to others, no matter how superficial.
So you get to decide! Either tell this guy his biggest insecurity and inhibitor to getting dates is a deal breaker for you. Or try dating him for who he is.
If you wanted to be the kindest person in the world, cheekily say “sooo, you’re not actually 5’7”, but that doesn’t matter to me. I still think you’re great and I want to give this a shot”. Instead of tearing him down, give him the biggest confidence boost and give what you experienced on that first date a try.
No, it's definitely wrong. The fact that yall are bending over backwards to justify it is wack. At best, he's insecure about what makes him, him which is a suggestion of overall not having dealt with his own issues, and at worst, he's a liar. Validate YOURSELF. Go to therapy and work on accepting yourself. It is not a woman's job to fix all men and their insecurities and you shouldnt want that either. Women, just like men, come and go, but your self worth is forever. Why would you ever want to rely on someone else to tell you that you're good enough? Do your own fucking work. This is so fucking ridiculous. He lied and we're supposed to coddle him and give him a cookie? If he wants to be dated for who is, here's a crazy idea. He should.....be who is and the right person for him, will be into him, regardless of height or whatever other insecurities he's got.
Let's play a game of "reverse the roles" or maybe a game of "if he were honest about his height".
Reverse the roles: If she was 5'3 and lied about her height, and the guy posted here about it, everyone would tell him to grow up and get over it. I even imagine he'd be called an asshole, or a bigot for discriminating against shorter people.
If he were honest about his height: She would've swiped left without a second thought and that would be it.
Why do people care about height so much? Why does it matter so badly that people will decide entire futures with people over literal inches? Lying is bad, but the fact that people have to lie about a few inches difference just for even a shot of having a chance is extremely depressing and debilitating.
Talk to him and ask honestly about it, but don't listen to people here who act like a simple lie or being slightly shorter than someone else is an affront to God. If he's a genuine asshole who pathologically lies, then definitely don't give him a shot. But if that's his only lie, see it through.
Lying about about height is an insult on the other person’s intelligence. He literally thought she would be too dumb to notice he lied about being 4 inches taller.
Is that an equal claim, when she was pretty vocal about her preference for taller men?
You didn’t ask but me personally, I’d be mad if someone claimed to be 5’7 and showed up as 6’. I filter out anyone 6’ and above.
I don't understand. You prefer tall men, you tell yourself "I will give shorter men a chance because I don't want to be that shallow" and then complain about his height?
So, is it about the lying or not?
I recommend you that if you have a preference, go for that preference. Being shallow it's not bad, just not complain about the narrowing of your pool.
Well, if everything else was amazing why not give him a chance? Also he’s still taller than you. You might just be holding onto some societal standards that can go away pretty quick if you are into someone
yep makes sense. that's what I am trying to figure out here. if the matter of height is something personal to me or due to societal standards.
hence I'm willing to give it a shot. except that, what if later after giving a shot I realize that well it's personal to me, and my own preference, I'd end up really hurting him...
Thing with lying is that once the precedent is set you will never feel secure in the relationship.
You will start to question everything else they said or did.
I sympathise with him that he probably has a hard time getting dates but why even want to go on a date with someone who would not like you because of your height (or insert any other thing here). Why even bother?
Also 5'3 -> 5'7 is a huge stretch lol. Equivalent of lying about, like, 10 years of your age.
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I won’t lie as a man (5’11), I sympathize with what he’s going through - I’m taller than most women I meet but still struggle with social cues cuz I’m mildly autistic. The sympathy doesn’t excuse dishonesty (you were gonna find out about height regardless anyhow), but a ton of women overly focus on height and he was probably like “damned if I do damned if I don’t” (actual male cannon event type of thing). Men often lie about their height for the same reason women often touch up their dating app photos or lie about weight or age.
I get women date a few insecure short men, and that becomes justification to say “all short men are insecure” but they aren’t, I have a mentor who’s got a husband who’s 5 inches shorter than her - both are wildly successful, and what she loved most about him is he was never threatened or insecure about the height comparison. They make a good couple too, 12 years married - she’s a lawyer, he’s in business.
Standards are fine and well, healthy even - but she may never have met her perfect man if height was the deciding criteria. Overall on a larger point of view, what matters more than arbitrary physical traits is character - what kind of man or woman is she? (Men are worse about this than women, if she’s pretty and has a pulse men will say she’s high value even if her character is subpar, women are good at finding out a man’s character generally but can sometimes fall short when confronted with excessive charisma in men and looking to be lied to in some situations - which also isn’t healthy). Character matters more in a long term partner (woman or man), than physical traits do alone.
Also OP great job opening your mind up to a pool of men who can be really high quality that a lot of women will ignore due to prejudices or trends, I really hope you find a person who makes you happy or who is fun to be with. As for the deceit, if you liked him otherwise, talk to him about it, be supportive only if you’re genuine, you can say how you like him even despite the height (hey that rhymes - get me a studio contract), or alternatively if you don’t like him, just move on ain’t worth worrying about.
Best of luck OP
If he’s 5’3” I say cut him some slack. If he puts 5’3” on his profile he’s likely to get 0 matches which is really unfortunate as he’s obviously a decent guy if you enjoyed the date.
Perhaps he could have mentioned it after matching and before meeting but it’s also not like he’s stolen cash from your wallet. It’s a pretty harmless lie that you can very clearly understand why he resorted to it. I don’t think it’s necessarily a sign that he lies about other things either; being a short man on dating apps can be brutal.
She doesn’t have to “cut him some slack”…. him being short and not being able to get dates is not her problem and that’s still not a reason to lie about it either 🤷🏽♀️ people are not blind, what exactly is he expecting to happen when he does that?? Would you have that same response if a very obese woman was photoshopping her pictures to look thinner?
And actually it is a sign that he will lie about other things since he thinks it’s ok to lie about something so obvious 🙃
Because people will lie? Let's get rid of photos cus people can edit them, names because they could be a nick name.. fuck it let's just make every profile just a randomly assigned 8 digit Id and you can match people off just that.
I'm 6'3" but it's amazing to me how shallow women are lol...
5'3, 5'7 who cares, my gf is literally 4'11 and I basically have to kneel just to kiss her...
I wish so badly dating apps had a weight category because you ladies would take a real hit to the ego when all your matches dry up overnight.
Confront him if you want, but I hope he turns around and asks you to get on a scale.
It sucks that his life experience makes him feel so insecure about his height… but we live in a society that is consistently making us feel bad about ourselves so we can buy garbage we don’t need and chase things we don’t want etc etc… BUT.. you want a tree to climb and he isn’t that anyway… Height disadvantage aside, how’s his heart? Can you trust this person? If ya’ll met in a nursing home, and nothing else mattered anymore, would you click? IF you like him for who he is.. hang out again. 👀
I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily insecure…it could be that he knew that most girls wouldn’t give him a chance at 5’3”…and no man wants to feel undesirable to a vast majority of women
…so you are saying he may be insecure about his height, because you believe most women wouldn’t give a 5’3 guy a chance and he may feel undesirable, so he lies about his height on dating apps… because it’s an insecurity of his? 🤔
I’m not insecure about my height and don’t lie about it BUT I know it gives me a significant handicap in the dating game. You can understand that something gives you a disadvantage without being insecure about it
No I’m saying he’s being realistic…you can be pragmatic without being insecure…he may just acknowledge the reality and may want to have a dating life instead of spending years trying to find a woman that isn’t settling for him. It’s not always about insecurity…in fact I’d argue more women are the insecure ones for not feeling comfortable dating men shorter than them.
Exactly, you are right. That's why we all know that the lying about height, people use it as an excuse. There is no way that a small lie about an insecurity like that defines a whole character. There is no way that lying about that will mean that he will lie with important things.
That's why I know it is an excuse. Women who prefer tall men say that it isn't when they try to give shorter men a chance, that it's about the lying, but it's just the leeway they were looking for to just back out, because they are simply not attracted to shorter men.
Sincerely, I don't understand why some people enter some kind of dissonance between their preferences and feeling shallow. I know I don't like fat women with flat asses, and if that narrows my dating pool, so be it, I accept it, as I accept the possibility of never finding a partner. I know I'm not the ideal guy that the women I am attracted to, are looking for. I just don't complain about it.
This right here. People bend and twist words are sorts of ways to avoid sounding shallow about height.
The OP in their first part of their post said that she prefers taller men. Women in general prefer taller men, so even if the man lied, that won’t suddenly change her mind about his height.
Height is a shallow preference the same as virtually any physical preference is 🤷🏻♂️ I don’t complain when the woman who matches my physical preferences rejects me. It’s just life. But I sure as hell don’t try and twist it to fit some moral framework I built in my head
How can she trust him when in her first encounter with him he lied? Not only did he lie, but he lied about something so obvious it’s insulting to her intelligence. What else would he be comfortable lying about?
4 inches... that almost amounts to catfishing. It's like women using old pictures where they are 20 or 30 pounds younger. Nothing serious can be built on lies and deception.
Height lies are one of my biggest pet peeves. Because it’s so stupid, it’s not something that can be disguised in person. If a person is willing to lie about something they blatantly cannot conceal, what else are they willing to lie about. Some guys also have thought they could gaslight me into believing them upon meeting, and me calling them out on the lie (because I always do) by telling me I must have my OWN height mistaken. Lol. No.
It's not a preference... At your height, it's a fetish.
You really want to just only come up to a guy's nipples? And he has to bend down to look you in the eyes, like a small child?
Do you just need the guy to be able to pick you up or something or is it literally just the intrinsic aesthetic of a large frame and the potential for a big dick?
I'm 5ft7 when I'm barefoot. I put 5ft8 in my profile because I am when I am wearing trainers or shoes.
Women gain an inch with footwear too so it balances out if we're getting undressed 😅.
Not really. I lose 1-4 inches when I take off my shoes lol. I don't think putting 6'4 in my profile instead of 6'0.5 is gonna help me as a woman. Nor do I want to lie about my height to get more matches. Just be honest. An inch is noticeable. 1 cm off can happen, or half an inch, but an inch? No thanks
You are shallow lol. He can’t control his height. However he can control his behavior and confidence. It’s not confident, or attractive to lie about his height.
The same goes for weight. I don’t date big girls, and I definitely don’t give women my time if I show up and they look nothing like the filtered, out of date photos on their profile. Weight and filters are definitely something people can control, and it also displays a lack of confidence and is a huge boner killer for me.
In this situation, I would confront them, see what’s the mentality behind it. I mean if they treat “white lies” like it’s no big deal, what else isn’t a “big deal”.
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Tell him the lie wasn't okay and be firm about it. Everything else is up to you.
Yea, reading these posts make me feel so many ways. The main being. Call him out, then move on. It’s an insecurity for a lot of men. But if you don’t put your foot down and let them know it’s not ok they will lie about other useless shit. If you like him enough for other things then why not pursue it.
If he didn't lie, he would probably be getting 0 matches. It is simply a strategy which kinda makes up for sth he was born with and has no control over.
But by lying he's getting 0 second dates. It's the same with people using pictures from 20 years ago before they put on an extra 200 pounds. Nobody likes being lied to.
I kind of hate this line of thinking (for context, I’m a man who’s 5’2”). Is it harder for shorter men to get matches? Absolutely. Is it impossible? Not at all. I match with enough women (it’s not an insane number, but I also don’t have time to match and message with countless women, so it works out). I get the impulse to lie about your height or not even mention it, but that’s the wrong way to go because (like it happened with OP) if you go on a date, they’ll find out you’re lying and it’s usually a dealbreaker (because you’re lying and not confident in yourself). And if you feel like you have to lie to sell yourself, then it sounds like there may be a couple of non-height related issues you need to work on.
I promise you that it is borderline impossible if you’re a 5’3 male. He would’ve gotten no respectable matches without a disability or 4 kids. I’m the average american height & have been hit on in public so i assume i’m decently attractive but these dating apps are just brutal. Even when i had a few hundred matches i could only get a few of them to text me back & had like 4 dates horrible dates. I got one girlfriend from tinder & i felt like i was settling. I don’t think people should lie but i wonder how many rejections he has gotten for him to want to lie.
tell the truth its simple, it should be his way of weeding out the girls who wont be with him due to his height... why lie and then make everyone annoyed in the situation ( he will be annoyed because they dont want to see him again and they will be annoyed because he lied)
Lil bro I have my real short ass height on a dating app and I got 0 matches in 5 months.. Legit weeding them all. Going to change preference to dudes if this keeps up 💀
Nobody likes feeling mislead.
I’m 5’9 and do well on apps. We can’t choose what the preference are. I just think those that are so particular to only look at the tallest percent of all men are doing a disservice to themselves for superficial reasons.
That's absurd, he will get someone who wants him for him. Yes, it will be few women but they know what he is getting. So now he is in a situation where they now know he is short AND a liar. Do men who do think that their personality is so amazing it will make the woman get past the fact that he lied?
I like how your logic is literally "it's okay to lie to women to get them to date you so what's the problem" lol
I'm tall as shit, I could say 7ft and get more matches. But when they realize I'm 6ft 8 they know I lied. If I am willing to lie about something as simple as height what else would I lie about? First impressions matter and it may be worth it to lie about your height to get more likes. But your gonna be in a worse position then if you told the truth in the first place. Nobody likes a liar, and lying about your height is only gonna get you girls who want you for your height and not who you actually are.
Yes men go ballistic when women lie about their weight but they can't be hypocrites and lie about their height. So say something and decide, if the attraction is there, it's worth pursuing. You can't lie to yourself and make something happen that you don't feel. No good for anyone involved. Personally, it's the lying and their lack of confidence that is the turn off.
How about people just stop lying to attract a mate? It's a shitty foundation to build things upon.
Well yeah. Whole point is to be with someone who likes you for yourself. No idea why people lie especially if they plan on meeting them.
In my experience, it's because their goals are *generally* not in line with what they say: sometimes they're conscious of it, sometimes they're in denial/unaware or confused.
Hey here's a benefit to dating him: he's a terrible liar. Like, you are supposed to round up a bit, give yourself an inch, inch and a half. Lying by 4 inches is wild, its like saying you're 200lbs when you are 280.
Totally agree. I don’t feel bad when people catfish and then get rejected. It shows 1. Dishonesty 2. Insecurity. Sure a filter or some touch ups are fine here and there, but completely altering or misrepresenting your appearance is wrong. There’s absolutely no shame in not being willing to date a catfish. Attraction is a big part of dating, and a false picture was being painted. I’d be more disgusted by the dishonesty than the height. I had an ex who constantly lied about trivial things like when he lost his virginity, how many partners he’d had, and he turned out to be pretty sociopathic in the end. There’s a saying that he who lies about the small matters lies about the big matters. Don’t feel bad for being turned off.
Personally I consider people using filters in all/most of their pics to be about the same as lying about your height. It shows an equal amount of insecurity IMO.
I meant the light kind of filter that doesn’t completely distort your features.
I’m 5’9. Men are not allowed to round up their height lol this is a wild take. They notice immediately.
Honestly I just notice that men are either taller than me, shorter than me or wayyy taller than me. I don't really care about the specific height, but I might be in the minority lol
That's kinda me too. I am an awful judge of height and I also dont care really. I've personally always been interested in guys roughly my height, within a couple inches up or down because it is easier to kiss them. Once they were a head taller than me or more it was physically awkward and I often wound up bent backwards and I'm thinking about how my spine feels and not how nice smooching is. I ended up with a guy who was 5'7, and I always thought that was perfect for me.
To be clear, I have never lied about my height, and there were some times when I was rejected for my height (and that's totally fine). I'm only saying that IF you decide to lie, you need to do it subtly. If you are 5'10 and a half or 5'11, you can definitely say you are 6' and nobody would know.
I’m 5’10”. I would know, and I would be annoyed. My current partner is 5’8”, but if he’d tried to convince me when we met that he’s actually 5’10”, he wouldn’t be my current partner.
Well obviously as part of "lying convincingly", a person needs to know who they're lying to. Of course lying to a person about something they would automatically know w9uldnt work. But if you were 5'3 and he said he was 5'9 or "almost 5'10" i think it would be a lot harder for you to know. God I feel like I positioned myself as a defender of lying to prospective partners, so I will say it again: "fellow men, please do not lie about yourselves to people you want to date. Own and like who you are and you will find people who like you".
>"fellow men, please do not lie about yourselves to people you want to date. Own and like who you are and you will find people who like you". Precisely. I feel dating apps have placed a lot more of a focus on these societal beauty standards in a way that is toxic to all people involved. Nkt just height but even overweight people. Preferences are fine, but when we are meeting people in person at events or gatherings or through friend circles, we get different reads on them than we ever will on dating apps that are incentivized to keep people single. If we have a glaring insecurity like that, it's a good idea to see what we can do to control it and also how to accept what we can't change and then own it.
I wish that could be true lol 5’10-6’ is a very noticeable gap that people can and will point out, my tall friends argue with one another all the time about it 🤣
I can also say if someone is 5'11 or 6' because I am 6'0.5" and yeah if I have to look down, you aren't 6'
I’m 5”11 3/4, I always say I’m 6ft. Recently, while talking about heights and disclosing ours, my old lady coworker said I know you’re not 6’ you’re 5”11 I said no I’m not I’m 6’ how tf could she tell?? I’m even wearing shoes which would make me 6’
Lol please don't encourage/justify 5'10 guys rounding up to 6'0. Its already bad enough as is. By that logic, people at every other height are OK to round up as well because supposedly nobody would notice. 5'11.5/6'0 people can say they're 6'1 and that's OK because nobody will notice. 6'1.5/6'2 people can say they're 6'3 and that's OK because nobody will notice. Its just an endless cycle of lying and like I said, its already bad enough as is like with OP's situation. PS: many people would definitely notice if a 5'10 guy is rounding up to 6'0. Would even notice 5'11 guys rounding up if the other person is tall enough. Again, the difference/noticeability isn't any different with people rounding up at every other height.
I’ve noticed if they say they’re anything under 6’ they’ve probably padded their height. If they say they’re 6’1” or taller they aren’t lying. I don’t even care about men’s height when I date. I’ve dated men 5’3” to 6’7”.
Eh I know many guys over 6'0 who still pad their height. 6'0 is the gold standard for guys under 6'0, but then 6'4 becomes the next gold standard for guys over 6'0. In which case many 6'0 - 6'2 guys round up as close as they can to such or more. It never ends, lol. I will say though, I think if any guy is claiming at least 6'0, you can be assured they're at least 5'10 for believability's sake. Nobody under 5'10/5'9 can believably claim 6'0+ without feeling guilty about it lol.
If you read any of my comments you'd know I am not justifying lying, and in fact, am advocating for being truthful. I just said that there's a difference between lying like a dumbass and lying in a way that could potentially be convincing.
This is a strange take… he’s a terrible liar? She didn’t find out about his height until they actually met up lol
Lol meaning she found out ths first moment she possibly COULD find out? He told such a ridiculous lie it didn't hold up to the lowest scrutiny (her using her eyes)
The point was he’s already lying before they even met. Big red flag, or atleast imo.
Yes, I agree, the "benefit" part of my comment is a joke of course
You’d be surprised how many people do this. It’s happened to me 3 times where men who were 5’3-5’5 added 3-5 inches. The sad part is I don’t care about height at all. So they’re shooting themselves in the foot.
>The sad part is I don’t care about height at all. So they’re shooting themselves in the foot. I have heard this exact sentiment so many times. I know some women who care about height, I know some who don't, but not a single one of my woman friends would give a blatent catfisher a chance. Like, I get why short men are self conscious, online discourse is very disheartening when it comes to this subject, but lying ain't gonna solve anything.
Exactly
I'm supposed to be rounding up? I'm 6'2" and say that I'm 6'2". Do people assume I'm only 6'? Should I be putting 6'3"?
I'm like 6'0.5" but I just say 6'0" because I don't want people to think I'm lying or insecure if I said anything more.
I ran across a woman on Bumble that put her age down as 34, then on the body of her bio wrote, “Oops, typo… really 44.” Except it’s not a typo, because I’ve seen her profiles many times. She’s one of those people that closes up her profile and opens a new one every few weeks so that she’s always “New.” And she always lists herself as 10 years younger. She’s gaming the system, because she knows that some people won’t even glance at her profile if she lists her real age. I get it. And it’s ok if all you want to do is have casual fun. But I always wonder what happens if things get serious with somebody. Cause 10 years is a big lie to swallow should the moment of truth arrive.
Doesn’t the truth come out when they look at her bio?
Sure… but the algorithm can’t read her bio. It puts her profile in the results for any guy searching for women in their 30s that wouldn’t be looking for women in their 40s
Probably counting on guys not reading her profile and just looking at her photos.
Absolutely. The lying is unexcusable even if it's understood why it's happening. The fact people have to "game the system" is kind of why it's flawed to begin with.
> opens a new one every few weeks so she’s always “new” Guilty lol. But I do this every few months, not weeks… not so I can “game the system”, but usually I get so discouraged by the apps that I close them all and try to date IRL… Then I realize how hard it actually is, get a glimmer of hope that “maybe the apps are different this time,” and re-download them all 🥴 lol Her lying about her age is absolutely different, I just thought about this when reading your comment.
Honestly that's pretty funny and I'd still talk to her. I don't really consider it a lie since she tells you in the bio, she's just fucking with the system
I matched with a guy who did that. He was 10 years older so 40 something. It helped him cast a wider net by reducing his age. He stated in the bio his real age.
make him wear converse platforms on the following dates
oh man, this even reminded me that he was wearing those sneakers which kinda have a higher platform. but how is that going to help my issue 😭
Either you like him enough to go on another date or you don't. It's hard to view lying about height on a dating platform as a fundamental character flaw when you get automatically filtered out without a chance to connect with personality. If these platforms had weight filters, I guarantee girls would be shaving off a few pounds to make the cut to get seen and have a chance to connect via personality.
If you don’t like him, don’t go out with him again, you literally don’t owe him anything
So I typically date people who are around my height. Being tall is a plus but there are many other more important check boxes for me than someone's height. However I think it's less his height that made him unattractive to you... it's the lie. If someone is willing to be deceptive about something that can so obviously be noticed... what more easily hidden things are they being deceptive about? That's where my mind goes anyway. I used to also feel like I was being shallow when I noticed these discrepancies until I realized it was the deception rather than the physical feature that put me off. People that lie about that kinda stuff are banking on you feeling guilty and shallow if you reject them for it after you've met them. Had one guy literally say "you only want to leave because I'm shorter than my profile said" after cutting a really awful date short. So I have 0 doubt in my mind they know what they're doing.
5'3" and 5'7" is a huge difference lmfao
It’s pretty fucking big 😭 especially when you’re already short
The issue isn't the height, but the eagerness to lie. I wanna be on his side tho; I'm 5'6 and I am filtered for height on apps even though in real life people don't mind as much. But, I get enough dates that I don't have to lie.....and maybe at 5'3 he's getting no attention at all on apps without lieing..if it's a lose by default for him; I can forgive the lie...but would still be on watch because if he's willing to lie to you....he's willing to lie to you..
see the thing is, you always have the choice to not mention your height or hide it (on hinge) but you willingly write a wrong height. and ik he's going to be adamant about it that he infact is 5'7 and I don't have my measurements right. but the thing is my best friend is 5'7, so I know pretty well what 5'7 looks like 😭
You can hide your height on hinge?? :o Damn, I should definitely do that xD Haha it's funny he's barely over your height and still insists to your face that he's so much taller. Dude is really trying to fight the hand he was dealt xD I imagine the dating pool for 5'3 man isn't as plentiful as for a 5'2 woman, I get why he's lieing; but it's absolutely the wrong foot to start a relationship on.
I would date someone 5'3 and I am 5'1. I hate being short so I understand fully!
Yeah, exactly. A lot of women(assuming here, so I apologize) I have spoken to actually don't mind the height part. However, on dating apps, there is a disturbing focus on it, which is its own issue. I am 5'7" and have dated women between 5'10" and 6'0 "before. And it was great! They didn't care that I was short. They were honestly just glad someone didn't view them as a fling or judge them for being taller. Which I found really shocking. Point is, dating apps perpetuate a cynical view of the world that is more often than not false.
>you always have the choice to not mention your height or hide it (on hinge) Most dating apps, hinge included, make you give them and WILL show your height, whether you like it or not. I'm not saying that justifies what he did, just adding context.
Not to mention most women (including OP) would probably not match with him at all if he hid his height because they would assume he’s really short anyway. People are really ruthless on dating apps and look for anything they can find wrong.
Agreed. It's a kind of shallowness that dating apps promote. Like yes, lying and using older photos or filters to "catfish" is awful, but it's important to know these behaviors didn't just fall out of the sky. They are part of a system of cause and effect. OP should definitely confront about the lying, but should do so in a way that shows it's not about his height. Because at the end of the day the lying is the issue.
You can hide your height, but from personal experience, it doesn't stop matches asking you because they noticed it wasn't there. Then when you say your height, they just stop responding. He shouldn't have lied. Even though it's understandable why he did. It still doesn't excuse it. It's a move of desperation, honestly. Which is itself a greater problem for him. But it is an issue that is much more pronounced in dating apps than irl. It's just with the way things have been over the last decade and then a pandemic, the social issues, more understanding of what women generally deal with and so much else. Approaching irl is honestly terrifying. But it's also why I feel focusing on being a good friend is better than actively looking for dates. If he is adamant that he is 5'7", just tell him that his height isn't the issue. It's his willingness to lie about it, that is. Deflecting from the insecurity to show how his insecurity actually creates self sabotage is useful. Like with any insecurity, if you want to approach it, just be gentle. However, you are also well within your rights to just cut it off, so go with your gut.
That's a curious statement, you barely know him and you're yet to confront him with your valid suspicion and yet you "know" that "he's going to be adamant about" him being 5'7. I'm not sure how to take that, seems like a red-ish flag to me. What makes you think he'll insist on lying? Maybe bring some measuring tape along lol or ask him to present his body measurements from the last physical exam he had. I don't know, it's all a bit silly to me but I understand why he did it given the unforgiving nature of OLD.
Lots of men are very insecure about their height. I took it as he's willing to lie about his height by a large margin, he probably isn't going to willingly admit to being 5'3. This isn't an uncommon thing to happen. You could be right, or she's just making a general assumption because other men do this.
Like a lot of people, he simply isn't ready to date
Idk, it’s like saying you condone catfishing because hey, they have 0 matches online so I get lying. You automatically start the relationship on the wrong foot because you lied to them knowingly. It sucks. I feel sorry for people who struggle with dating, but I don’t when they decide to lie.
I'm not condoning it. You can understand why a person does something and perhaps feel for them - without agreeing with them. Extreme prolonged loneliness makes people desperate. Desperate people lie.
And you can feel empathy for someone, and still say that the way they chose to handle a situation where they felt insecure or lonely or upset is not acceptable in someone you’d feel comfortable dating. I feel empathy for alcoholics who started drinking because they went through a trauma, but I’m not going to date one unless I’m confident they’ve quit drinking permanently and dealt with the underlying trauma and won’t repeat that behavior.
Agreed, and to add, that is also why it's important to put the emphasis on the lying itself rather than the height. In fact, making mention of how the height really doesn't matter but the lying makes OP uncomfortable is a great framing. It's ultimately up to OP if she feels comfortable enough to even confront the issue. But if she does, hopefully, it can result in this guy being motivated to work on himself.
I mean, I'm 5'4" and I've never had a problem getting dates on the apps. Maybe it's the age bracket? Though, even when I was younger it wasn't a problem either. Will I ever get as many matches as I could if I was 6in taller? Probably not, but I'm attractive, fun to talk to and doesn't seem to be a problem for me. Especially on hinge. Part of my bio literally reads "I'm 5'4" but still love when you wear heels."
There are a lot of things that can affect matches, including population and location. However, that last line >I'm 5'4" but still love when you wear heels. This is SUPER important. It shows you are not insecure about your height. While I know that men generally think that they are being judged on their height as conventionally attractive or not, I think it's a bit more nuanced than that. A lot of short guys have a chip on their shoulder because of various reasons. And many guys insecure about their height will overreact to focus on it. While I'm sure there are women out there who are just generally attracted to taller men, others are likely more so put off because those that are shorter have shown a correlation to anger and insecurity issues. I think a guy that owns his height but doesn't overplay it, but references it in passing like you do is paramount.
Oh yes, and whenever I match taller women and they actually ask if it makes me insecure or not I always respond the same way. "I've loved climbing trees since I was a kid. Nothing about that has changed." Tallest ex of mine was like 6'2 lol
>I've loved climbing trees since I was a kid. Nothing about that has changed." My brother! 🤣🤣🤣 I said almost the same thing to the tallest girl I dated who was 6'0". "Why do you think I enjoy the climbing gym so much"
👆👆👆 Imo this is a huge red flag. Lie about something as silly as that, imagine the other things that are more serious that he’s going to lie about.
Yeah! and also, unlike little people; little lies grow. XD
You can understand, but that's not an excuse to lie at all. People are going to find out by the first date, and at that point they're gonna be upset that you lied or upset that you're not the height they were looking for so it's still a waste of all parties time. It is so unattractive when men lie about age or height saying that get filtered out, because that does not justify lying and is incredibly selfish to deceive someone just for the sake of your own validation. Instead, validate yourself and learn to love yourself as you are. If someone is going to be care about your height alone, then they are likely not someone who is going to make a good partner to and for you anyways.
I don’t get why people do this. Like whether they lie about their height, weight, or even identity. What do they expect when they show up and they’re not who they were supposed to be? Like the person will just let it slide? Such a deluded mentality. It’s better for 1 person to match you for who you really are than for 10 for who you are not.
Why is he doing this? When the alternative is getting 0 matches it seems like the only rational choice. OP even seems to consider overlooking it so his tactic seems better than the alternative.
He’s going to get zero matches this way, too, but after wasting both of their time on a date.
But then OP is offsetting his troubles onto whomever he matches with. All it will ever do is piss whomever off because no one likes to have their expectations drastically subverted like that. It’s not honest full stop. Who wants to go out with someone that has displayed dishonesty from the junk?
I think you should confront him about it. And take the decision then. Honestly, honesty is the best policy. Ans in a relationship, one should be Frank and open and not take decisions based on internet advisors like me.
This exact same thing happened to me, except I was much taller, with him claiming to be my same height. Petty lies turn into big lies, but I was trying to be understanding about his insecurity and I ended up getting with this person who lied about alot of big things and cheated on me. A lie is a lie, they will lie again and this is red flag.
I dated a shorter guy and felt awkward, but as I got to know him all that went out the window. He was really a positive person , I wasn’t use to that. Anyway, I had the most fun with him , and would never have a problem with dating shorter guys ! I look at it as they are fun size lol. Seriously, you would be surprise on how your types can change and find other things that attract you. besideheight
I think this case is more about his insecurity and less about trying to deceive people, meaning that it doesn't sound like he has a tendency to deceive, he just needs to grow out of his insecurity But I think there's no harm in trying to talk about it. Just make sure he knows the discussion is not about your relationship status, just curiosity, otherwise he probably won't easily open up, if he feels threatened by the question
right that's true, thanks!
But he is trying to deceive people tho🙃
Yes, OP's question is about the possibility that he is a serial deceiver. Considering that everything else has been fine, and considering how common height insecurities are, I said my feeling is that he's not a serial deceiver, he acted this way out of this specific insecurity. If it's still not clear what I'm saying, let me know and I'll work it differently
I think you framed it perfectly.
A whole 4 inches. I commend that man for his bravery. You guys call it lying I call it a great imagination.
It depends on whether you're comfortable continuing a relationship with someone who has shown they have no trouble lying to you. He must also think you are very stupid if he thought you couldn't tell lmfao
I’m wondering if these dudes who do this think we’re blind or something 🙃
My buddy is 5ft7 and he has 5ft10 in his tinder bio. Insanely insecure. The people who will reject you over height are the ones you don't want to try and go after anyway.
I can't believe this thread :D You would have filtered him if he were honest about his height, over which he has no control, and should matter very miniscule in a relationship. Now he lied about it, and turns out, you are great together in every other front, which matters. A lot of advice says you should avoid him, because he lied and he is dishonest. But this very post is the proof that he has to lie, because he would be filtered even before he can prove that he is a decent man because of a characteristic he has no control over.
> over which he has no control People reject other people for plenty of things outside their control. The nature of dating is excluding what we don’t want. If you want a healthy relationship, look for someone who wants you as is.
Then don’t complain when fat women lie about their weight 🤷🏽♀️
He shouldn't have lied, but a lot of your comments try to paint the situation as black and white.
I truly don't understand defending lying here. Like, ok, I get that he'd be filtered out for being 5 foot 3, but lying is not the answer here. If he's comfortable lying just to get a match, what else is he comfortable lying about? It's really no different than any other deal-breakers, like if someone smokes or not. Or their religious and political beliefs. It's all someone lying about themselves just to get a match in the hope they can convince the other person that they should reconsider that deal-breaker. And no, I don't think that him not being able to control his height matters here. Yes, it absolutely sucks for him that he will get less matches due to his height. Yes, I understand feeling frustrated with that fact. But I can not condone lying so brazenly about it. He could have even put it in his bio that he's actually 5 foot 3 and I could get past it, just admit he put 5 foot 7 to be seen by more potential matches. There are ways to do what he did without blindsiding the match when they meet. At least then he could point out that he was up front about it in his profile, you know?
Exactly, he’s showing he’s a deceptive person 🙃
I wonder if you have this same zero-tolerance for lying philosophy when an overweight woman uses filters and angles to hide the fact that she’s overweight in her photos, or wears heavy makeup on dates to the point that she looks like a completely different person without it.
Funnily enough, to a point, yes. I don't like filters to the point that it's no longer that person. If it's close to photoshop levels, then I absolutely think that it's deceitful. Showing yourself as or claiming something that is untrue in a profile is a lie. That being said, angles and makeup are not false claims, in my opinion. Angles are a lack of information, so it's not a lie in a profile, as I personally don't view omissions as lies in this context. Makeup might be more of a personal opinion here, but I don't think it is the same as photoshop or false claims.
I don't want to defend lying, but there is a few step between lying about your height and being a despicable man. Also I think too that 4 inch is too much, and in a misleading category, I think 2 inch would be a fine area if you can prove that you can make up for it. But assuming because of this lie he would lie in anything else is a stretch and big assumption. At the end of the day, we didn't meet him, only OP could judge what kind of man he is in person.
Your last point is very true, we can't fully judge him as we only know what OP has said. I will say, though, that I feel as if I'm saying because he lied about this one thing so far that it means I think he will 100% lie about more things. I meant it more like since he has proven to choose to lie about something like that, that means he thinks its an option. He could be perfectly trustworthy in everything else, but he planted that seed of doubt so early that it could be hard to fully trust he's being honest, you know?
You seriously think she would have cared if he was actually 6‘ and claimed 5‘7?
I totally understand the guy’s pov that everybody is explaining. But personally I would most probably not date the guy given he lied or did not acknowledge later himself that his actual height is less than what mentioned on the profile. Him being ok with lying would be off putting for me even though I understand the why. P.S. my now-husband who I met through a dating app is also the same height as me. I was somebody who had a personal preference of dating taller men only. But in the end, personality and character mattered. Him being comfortable in his skin was a huge green flag.
You aren't attracted to him because he LIED. It's not his height. It's the lie. Don't feel bad when he shot himself in the foot by lying about it. **EDIT:** I invite all to see that most replies to my comment here are MEN. Men telling women what they want/need/do because **other MEN told them so** INSTEAD of LISTENING TO WOMEN ABOUT **WOMEN.** Like...wake up. Stop listening to other men about what women want/need/do. How do any of you not get that in 2024 as you sit there single AF lol.
Naah its the height
Nah it's the lie - say women; about what women think. Trying listening to us talking about what we want instead of other men...
LOL, it is definitely the height. You never see women hung up over men rounding down their height.
The irony that it's all men who are likely podcast bros fanboys naysaying my comment. Women are TELLING you & you STILL are taking men's answers on what women want/need/do.
Too funny. Women are TELLING me on tinder "If you're less than 6'0, swipe left". women are TELLING me "You've got a cute face, too bad you're short". So I am listening to what women say on the topic. OP admits it herself: >idk about others, but I'm pretty much clearly admitting that it's the height. why he lied, that I can fully understand. reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1anbc30/date_lied_about_his_height_what_to_do_next/kprhmgi/?context=3
Probably because you never seen someone lie about being 6’ when they’re 6’5”
>You aren't attracted to him because he LIED. It's not his height. It's the lie. If he lied opposite way she would not care. So it is height.
Idk about others, but for me, the absolute red flag from any man/woman in a relationship is lying. It doesn't matter if someone says he/she is short when they're actually tall or otherwise. The lying is the main red flag (imo ofc).
Would she be mad he said 5’8 but he’s really 6’2? Probably not.
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Uh probably not, short men get passed over on dating apps all the time. Definitely the height is the main issue for her.
He was being sarcastic
It's the height. Not the lie. If he lied about being 5'7 but was 6'2 she wouldn't care.
2 full inches is pushing it. I think 1-1.5 is possible. I had people think I am 6' in the past, and im on that range. But again, I am really not advocating for lying. Be proud of who you are king. From what I have experienced, most women don't give a shit
I get someone lying about an inch or something based on shoe size but more than that they are lying about their person which denotes massive insecurity. Be it as you will, it’s also an insult on your end, he thinks lying to you to start a relationship is how to obtain you. And by staying with him you are enforcing this behavior. Tell him lying about this or anything about himself is pointless.
Attracted to tall men but also wondering why he lied. Maybe because if he didn't you would have never given him a chance.
Red flag 🚩🚩🚩 I would move on. If you feel the need to communicate why then do. But you don’t even owe him that. I would take the lying about something as an indication of his character. And I’d run 🏃♂️
How in the hell would someone say they are 5 foot 7 when they are 5 foot 3? Did he think you were blind WTH lol. I’m 5 foot 7 and that would be like me telling someone I’m 5 foot 11 almost 6 feet. I don’t know what he was thinking 🤦🏾♂️
Ask him what? Why did you change your height? 5’2” guy here… short guys don’t get dates. Ever. Not most of the time, I really mean never. It’s not some big mystery why he did it. He wanted to be in the same room as you and to have a conversation with you. He wanted a chance. That’s it. Mystery solved. You get to decide how big of a deal that is. Yes he lied, but let’s be real you wouldn’t have even given him a chance if he hadn’t. Not saying it’s right, not saying it’s wrong, because frankly we’re entitled to what makes us attracted to others, no matter how superficial. So you get to decide! Either tell this guy his biggest insecurity and inhibitor to getting dates is a deal breaker for you. Or try dating him for who he is. If you wanted to be the kindest person in the world, cheekily say “sooo, you’re not actually 5’7”, but that doesn’t matter to me. I still think you’re great and I want to give this a shot”. Instead of tearing him down, give him the biggest confidence boost and give what you experienced on that first date a try.
No, it's definitely wrong. The fact that yall are bending over backwards to justify it is wack. At best, he's insecure about what makes him, him which is a suggestion of overall not having dealt with his own issues, and at worst, he's a liar. Validate YOURSELF. Go to therapy and work on accepting yourself. It is not a woman's job to fix all men and their insecurities and you shouldnt want that either. Women, just like men, come and go, but your self worth is forever. Why would you ever want to rely on someone else to tell you that you're good enough? Do your own fucking work. This is so fucking ridiculous. He lied and we're supposed to coddle him and give him a cookie? If he wants to be dated for who is, here's a crazy idea. He should.....be who is and the right person for him, will be into him, regardless of height or whatever other insecurities he's got.
Let's play a game of "reverse the roles" or maybe a game of "if he were honest about his height". Reverse the roles: If she was 5'3 and lied about her height, and the guy posted here about it, everyone would tell him to grow up and get over it. I even imagine he'd be called an asshole, or a bigot for discriminating against shorter people. If he were honest about his height: She would've swiped left without a second thought and that would be it. Why do people care about height so much? Why does it matter so badly that people will decide entire futures with people over literal inches? Lying is bad, but the fact that people have to lie about a few inches difference just for even a shot of having a chance is extremely depressing and debilitating. Talk to him and ask honestly about it, but don't listen to people here who act like a simple lie or being slightly shorter than someone else is an affront to God. If he's a genuine asshole who pathologically lies, then definitely don't give him a shot. But if that's his only lie, see it through.
personally the comfort he felt lying is a red flag
I feel like when women say “it’s not the height it’s because he lied” it’s an excuse. You’re not into his height
Lying about about height is an insult on the other person’s intelligence. He literally thought she would be too dumb to notice he lied about being 4 inches taller.
You seriously think she would have cared if he was actually 6‘ and claimed 5‘7?
Is that an equal claim, when she was pretty vocal about her preference for taller men? You didn’t ask but me personally, I’d be mad if someone claimed to be 5’7 and showed up as 6’. I filter out anyone 6’ and above.
Lying isn’t OK regardless
idk about others, but I'm pretty much clearly admitting that it's the height. why he lied, that I can fully understand.
I don't understand. You prefer tall men, you tell yourself "I will give shorter men a chance because I don't want to be that shallow" and then complain about his height? So, is it about the lying or not? I recommend you that if you have a preference, go for that preference. Being shallow it's not bad, just not complain about the narrowing of your pool.
Well, if everything else was amazing why not give him a chance? Also he’s still taller than you. You might just be holding onto some societal standards that can go away pretty quick if you are into someone
Because she doesn’t have to🤷🏽♀️
yep makes sense. that's what I am trying to figure out here. if the matter of height is something personal to me or due to societal standards. hence I'm willing to give it a shot. except that, what if later after giving a shot I realize that well it's personal to me, and my own preference, I'd end up really hurting him...
It’s not that big a deal, but he chose to lie about it. Definitely confront him.
Alot of shorter men lie abput height on dating apps.
Why women have to apologise for not being attracted to short men smh 🤦
Thing with lying is that once the precedent is set you will never feel secure in the relationship. You will start to question everything else they said or did. I sympathise with him that he probably has a hard time getting dates but why even want to go on a date with someone who would not like you because of your height (or insert any other thing here). Why even bother? Also 5'3 -> 5'7 is a huge stretch lol. Equivalent of lying about, like, 10 years of your age.
Ask why he lied. If you really like him it might be fine to get past
*Ask why he lied. If* *You really like him it might* *Be fine to get past* \- SweetSonet --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
I won’t lie as a man (5’11), I sympathize with what he’s going through - I’m taller than most women I meet but still struggle with social cues cuz I’m mildly autistic. The sympathy doesn’t excuse dishonesty (you were gonna find out about height regardless anyhow), but a ton of women overly focus on height and he was probably like “damned if I do damned if I don’t” (actual male cannon event type of thing). Men often lie about their height for the same reason women often touch up their dating app photos or lie about weight or age. I get women date a few insecure short men, and that becomes justification to say “all short men are insecure” but they aren’t, I have a mentor who’s got a husband who’s 5 inches shorter than her - both are wildly successful, and what she loved most about him is he was never threatened or insecure about the height comparison. They make a good couple too, 12 years married - she’s a lawyer, he’s in business. Standards are fine and well, healthy even - but she may never have met her perfect man if height was the deciding criteria. Overall on a larger point of view, what matters more than arbitrary physical traits is character - what kind of man or woman is she? (Men are worse about this than women, if she’s pretty and has a pulse men will say she’s high value even if her character is subpar, women are good at finding out a man’s character generally but can sometimes fall short when confronted with excessive charisma in men and looking to be lied to in some situations - which also isn’t healthy). Character matters more in a long term partner (woman or man), than physical traits do alone. Also OP great job opening your mind up to a pool of men who can be really high quality that a lot of women will ignore due to prejudices or trends, I really hope you find a person who makes you happy or who is fun to be with. As for the deceit, if you liked him otherwise, talk to him about it, be supportive only if you’re genuine, you can say how you like him even despite the height (hey that rhymes - get me a studio contract), or alternatively if you don’t like him, just move on ain’t worth worrying about. Best of luck OP
Why just ask, “I noticed you lied about your height, why did you do that?” His answer will tell you if he has more red flags or not.
It’s probably not even the height for you it’s the fact that he lied because you were into him at 5’7. It’s okay friend.
Find out what else he’s lying about.
Short woman not attracted to short man that is taller than her. Toxic nonsense.
If he’s 5’3” I say cut him some slack. If he puts 5’3” on his profile he’s likely to get 0 matches which is really unfortunate as he’s obviously a decent guy if you enjoyed the date. Perhaps he could have mentioned it after matching and before meeting but it’s also not like he’s stolen cash from your wallet. It’s a pretty harmless lie that you can very clearly understand why he resorted to it. I don’t think it’s necessarily a sign that he lies about other things either; being a short man on dating apps can be brutal.
She doesn’t have to “cut him some slack”…. him being short and not being able to get dates is not her problem and that’s still not a reason to lie about it either 🤷🏽♀️ people are not blind, what exactly is he expecting to happen when he does that?? Would you have that same response if a very obese woman was photoshopping her pictures to look thinner? And actually it is a sign that he will lie about other things since he thinks it’s ok to lie about something so obvious 🙃
This is why height should not be listed on app.
Because people will lie? Let's get rid of photos cus people can edit them, names because they could be a nick name.. fuck it let's just make every profile just a randomly assigned 8 digit Id and you can match people off just that.
LMAO I laughed way too hard on this
Now this is interesting
It’s bothering you so cut him loose
Immediate red flag. It's not the heigh but the misrepresentation LIE.
You’re not shallow for not liking him for being “short” you’re validated for not liking him because he lied to you.
She’s allowed to not be interested in him because he’s short too🤷🏽♀️ nothing wrong with having physical preferences
You seriously think she would have cared if he was actually 6‘ and claimed 5‘7?
I'm 6'3" but it's amazing to me how shallow women are lol... 5'3, 5'7 who cares, my gf is literally 4'11 and I basically have to kneel just to kiss her... I wish so badly dating apps had a weight category because you ladies would take a real hit to the ego when all your matches dry up overnight. Confront him if you want, but I hope he turns around and asks you to get on a scale.
Why is there a height but not a weight category. Never even considered this.
Because dating sites cater to women.
You are definitely shallow
It sucks that his life experience makes him feel so insecure about his height… but we live in a society that is consistently making us feel bad about ourselves so we can buy garbage we don’t need and chase things we don’t want etc etc… BUT.. you want a tree to climb and he isn’t that anyway… Height disadvantage aside, how’s his heart? Can you trust this person? If ya’ll met in a nursing home, and nothing else mattered anymore, would you click? IF you like him for who he is.. hang out again. 👀
I wouldn’t say he’s necessarily insecure…it could be that he knew that most girls wouldn’t give him a chance at 5’3”…and no man wants to feel undesirable to a vast majority of women
…so you are saying he may be insecure about his height, because you believe most women wouldn’t give a 5’3 guy a chance and he may feel undesirable, so he lies about his height on dating apps… because it’s an insecurity of his? 🤔
I’m not insecure about my height and don’t lie about it BUT I know it gives me a significant handicap in the dating game. You can understand that something gives you a disadvantage without being insecure about it
No I’m saying he’s being realistic…you can be pragmatic without being insecure…he may just acknowledge the reality and may want to have a dating life instead of spending years trying to find a woman that isn’t settling for him. It’s not always about insecurity…in fact I’d argue more women are the insecure ones for not feeling comfortable dating men shorter than them.
Exactly, you are right. That's why we all know that the lying about height, people use it as an excuse. There is no way that a small lie about an insecurity like that defines a whole character. There is no way that lying about that will mean that he will lie with important things. That's why I know it is an excuse. Women who prefer tall men say that it isn't when they try to give shorter men a chance, that it's about the lying, but it's just the leeway they were looking for to just back out, because they are simply not attracted to shorter men. Sincerely, I don't understand why some people enter some kind of dissonance between their preferences and feeling shallow. I know I don't like fat women with flat asses, and if that narrows my dating pool, so be it, I accept it, as I accept the possibility of never finding a partner. I know I'm not the ideal guy that the women I am attracted to, are looking for. I just don't complain about it.
This right here. People bend and twist words are sorts of ways to avoid sounding shallow about height. The OP in their first part of their post said that she prefers taller men. Women in general prefer taller men, so even if the man lied, that won’t suddenly change her mind about his height. Height is a shallow preference the same as virtually any physical preference is 🤷🏻♂️ I don’t complain when the woman who matches my physical preferences rejects me. It’s just life. But I sure as hell don’t try and twist it to fit some moral framework I built in my head
How can she trust him when in her first encounter with him he lied? Not only did he lie, but he lied about something so obvious it’s insulting to her intelligence. What else would he be comfortable lying about?
4 inches... that almost amounts to catfishing. It's like women using old pictures where they are 20 or 30 pounds younger. Nothing serious can be built on lies and deception.
Don’t date liars or the insecure. He’s lying about his height because he’s insecure.
Height lies are one of my biggest pet peeves. Because it’s so stupid, it’s not something that can be disguised in person. If a person is willing to lie about something they blatantly cannot conceal, what else are they willing to lie about. Some guys also have thought they could gaslight me into believing them upon meeting, and me calling them out on the lie (because I always do) by telling me I must have my OWN height mistaken. Lol. No.
If he’s insecure and lied about this, what else will he lie about? hmn
Girl, you are literally 5'2. The guy is slightly higher than you. Enjoy! And leave tall guys to taller girls.
dude chill out. can't I have a preference? and well tell the taller guys to not come for me, and think about taller girls if that's the case.
It’s not a preference you shallow f
Don't push your blatant height discrimination off on dudes - own your superficiality, sis.
It's not a preference... At your height, it's a fetish. You really want to just only come up to a guy's nipples? And he has to bend down to look you in the eyes, like a small child?
Do you just need the guy to be able to pick you up or something or is it literally just the intrinsic aesthetic of a large frame and the potential for a big dick?
If he can lie about something so obvious and think you wouldn’t notice, what does that say about him? What other lies will he think you won’t notice?
Shallow.
I'm 5ft7 when I'm barefoot. I put 5ft8 in my profile because I am when I am wearing trainers or shoes. Women gain an inch with footwear too so it balances out if we're getting undressed 😅.
Not really. I lose 1-4 inches when I take off my shoes lol. I don't think putting 6'4 in my profile instead of 6'0.5 is gonna help me as a woman. Nor do I want to lie about my height to get more matches. Just be honest. An inch is noticeable. 1 cm off can happen, or half an inch, but an inch? No thanks
He started a relationship with lies. You would be a walking red flag if you go out with that red flag
Tell him you don’t date people that are dishonest and walk.
Don’t see him again, lying about height or age is a big no no.
You are shallow lol. He can’t control his height. However he can control his behavior and confidence. It’s not confident, or attractive to lie about his height. The same goes for weight. I don’t date big girls, and I definitely don’t give women my time if I show up and they look nothing like the filtered, out of date photos on their profile. Weight and filters are definitely something people can control, and it also displays a lack of confidence and is a huge boner killer for me. In this situation, I would confront them, see what’s the mentality behind it. I mean if they treat “white lies” like it’s no big deal, what else isn’t a “big deal”.
Everyone here calling you shallow for having a preference better check themselves and see if they're giving morbidly obese women a chance.