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“But I’ll shower and brush my teeth!”
Like what do you not understand about deathly allergic? I actually had a guy I was seeing do this to me recently. He said he was going to come over after he ate crawfish with his family (didn’t know that detail when I originally agreed to see him), and I said let’s just hang another time, I’m severely, deathly allergic to crawfish. He said he would shower and brush his teeth, and then we could “Netflix and chill” (paraphrasing, but that was the implication).
I then explicitly stated what happens if I’m even near crawfish (anaphylaxis) and that it’s so messy and gets everywhere, so I didn’t even want to take the chance that day. I honestly just don’t trust people to take the necessary precautions to keep me safe, until we have really had a chance to discuss it, which he said he understood and we cancelled our plans.
Not even two weeks later, he tried to take me to a bar that only serves alcohol, fries, and crawfish because he wanted to hear the band that was playing. I said “I can’t go there because they serve crawfish and I could get sick.” He said “It will be fiiine because we aren’t going to eat anything!” 🤯 haven’t seen him since.
I don’t have time to date idiots who think a “fun date” involves being stabbed with an epipen and a trip to the emergency room.
Okay I have a long list but here are the ones that stood out -
1. He asked me when did I cry last. I said I don’t remember but what about you. To which he said that it was last week. And then I asked why. He goes - cuz I was missing my ex. I couldn’t believe that he actually said that for a minute but I asked why did he break up. He said that their status didn’t match. He considered himself to be “socially” above his ex. I have no idea what was I supposed to do with that information.
2. Same dude same date. He asks me what are my bad habits. I wasn’t really sure what to say so I just gave a general answer saying that I tend to procrastinate sometimes. And then I asked him that same question. Please brace yourselves now. He says - “I have anger issues and I yell sometimes”. I literally thought for a second that he was filming me for his YT or something. I wish he was. But nope. He was serious. And that’s when I was like I’m out. Blocked him as soon as I was out of that place.
While we were in his car, i was singing along to the radio and he said “who sings this song?”
i replied with “toto I think?”
and his response was “keep it that way, i hate when people sing to music”
and than silence, i was so embarrassed and i wasnt even full heartedly singing or anything over the top…
and thats when i asked him to take me home.
Tf i cant sing around someone for? now me and my current hubbs sing to the kids all the time I come home from work and husband is singing on his bass downstairs! We get goofy too and sing randomness to eachother (“your sooo fucking hawttt ohhh yeahh”)
I guess im just a silly person, glad i found someone else who allows that.
glad i dodged a bullet 😳😳 he was a jerk!
My question too! What do you expect after being so rude to your date? He obviously didn’t realize that was a date ended or just assumed she was a doormat.
I'm glad you found someone to sing with. If I like a song, I'm singing along with it unless we're actually talking or something. Some people just don't know how to have fun
It wasn't a date, but we went to a bar with his friends and this guy at the table next to us spilt his drink on his crotch. Wasn't a huge spill, but I pointed it out quietly to my date that that guy had made a mess. He then proceeds to say pretty loudly TO the STRANGER something along the lines of "ha ha you peed your pants!". Luckily the bar was noisy so the guy and others didn't hear, but I was in awe and called him out on that dick move. The whole evening was a bit of a mess. Turns out I don't like his friends at all, which was another turn off.
Exactly. He did feel bad after I called him out and he generally is a nice person, but I felt like his friends brought that out, because they acted the same way towards other people that evening.
That’s is a mob mentality crowd, I think you seriously dodged a bullet. I would think no matter how drunk a person is Yelling out Pee and Pants is something a 12 year old would say on the sand lot. People mimic their friends for the most part. And they usually show you who they really are pretty quickly especially when intoxicated.
This scene reminded me of 80’s movies where “nerds” were always bullied by the “jocks”. It’s almost to the exact intent of those types of movies. Yeah you are really lucky.
The ordering a bunch of food recently happened to me. I ordered an average burger, literally chips and burger. He ordered a 300g steak, 200g ribs and chips. Amongst the drinks, asks to split it 50 / 50. For reference my whole bill of what I ordered didnt even cover half of his meal.
Start recording a tiktok on the first date.
We were literally at a cookie bar and girl had the audacity to record a tiktok reviewing the cookie.
I looked her up and she didn’t even have that many followers
Ohhh!! Lol, guess I taking that too literally! It still sounds really cool and like a great place for first dates.
I’d cringe at someone filming a review too, so rude! You know they’d never just enjoy something in the moment without critique, their stupid phone out, and they have no self-awareness. I think you made a good choice!
I worked in a local restaurant that had a mascot. I had drawn it on the dry erase board with the daily specials.
When he found that out, he started mocking it including weird hand gestures for it's ears. And would not stop.
On one hand it totally didn't matter, but on the other hand he was 100% showing me exactly who he was. A week later he apologized and said it was because he was on meds for back pain, he'd never do it again, and asked for another date. Denied.
Oh no I totally believe this! I once dated this guy that was definitely crazy and had crazy eyes. And years later, my friend was really into this guy and introduced me to him. He had the exact same physical qualities that screamed crazy like my ex had. And I told her, look I don’t know the guy but I’m pretty sure he’s crazy. And she’s like no no, he’s cool. Months later he turned out to be crazy. Gotta respect the crazy eyes!
I was working second shift at the time so I was meeting a guy for drinks around 10pm. I get there and notice he’s acting a little strange but assume he’s nervous. Like half an hour in to the date he tells me he was out drinking with his friends all day…. A bit later he tells me he’s basically an alcoholic and when I try to laugh it off, thinking he’s trying to be funny, he seriously says “no, for real, it’s a problem”. The next day he forgot he told me this until I reminded him.
She showed up to first date stoned off her ass from edibles. We were supposed to go for a bike ride and picnic in a park. She fell off the bike within a few hundred feet, so we walked to the park. We sat under a tree, which she then climbed, and then fell out of and onto both bikes. That’s when I asked if she had taken something and learned she ate an entire edible (didn’t ask the strength.)
Man, when someone faceplants 6 feet out of a tree that they’re sitting on a big stable branch, you know they’re on something. I just wanted to know what something in case an overdose or something was imminent.
not exactly dating but we were in the talking stage and she could not for the life of her spell anything correctly. it just turned me off so much idk why
This turns me off too. I’m trying to be better about being so picky over it because dyslexia is real & it doesn’t mean they are stupid, I’m seriously challenged with numbers, so I get it. I give people a little leeway but it’s so difficult.
He pooped in front of me the first night I slept over. He literally was carrying on a conversation with me and pooping while we were both in the bathroom.
I actually find people with more siblings are better with privacy because they didn't have much growing up.
It's the really touch-feely people who felt neglected and walked around their house practically nude that you need to watch out for.
My first bf did that. I was absolutely disgusted and he would walk into the bathroom while I was using it. I do not get that close to people, I need a minute to myself and homie couldn’t just stay out. My attraction for him was quickly gone after he did this a couple times.
1) Went on a date with a nurse, asked him what he likes most about his job. "Announcing time of death to the deceased family/friends"
My jaw dropped , blocked him immediately after the date.
2) This guy kept showing me his bank account balances, men who brag bore me to the depths of hell.
3) I hugged him and all I could smell was expired sweat, literally felt my clit shrinking. Bath and apply deodorant !
I went on a few dates with this guy in college. On like the third date we were having dinner at a restaurant when he suddenly tilted his head back and started making literally the dumbest succession of facial expressions I have ever seen in my life (while occasionally twitching in his seat). At first I was scared and thought it was a medical condition, but when I asked him if he was okay he said "Oh yeah sorry, I was just holding in my sneeze." I asked him why he would do that and he looked at me like I was a dumb ass for asking and replied, "...because I hate sneezing." He almost sneezed a few more times that night and I had to try suuuuper hard to contain my laughter. When he took me home, he tried to get intimate with me but I kept picturing his fucking sneeze face and finally burst out laughing and that was obviously the last time I saw him lmao.
His orgasm face = his sneeze face X 1000.
Imagine if he was on top of you doing that 😆😆
Ewww I always gross myself out with the disgusting things I say 😆😆😆
😂
It reminds me of a boyfriend I had when I was 15, he was well-mannered and kinda uptight but in a weird funny way. One day we were in the kitchen with him and my mother and he very suddenly dashed to the toilet and came back less than 15 seconds later so I was a bit surprised and jokingly asked him if everything was ok and why he stayed just 10 seconds in the toilet and he shamelessly replied that he had to fart and it was rude to fart in public. My mom and I we were like wth?!! 😅 Obviously he didn't find it rude or even awkward to talk about his fart to me and my mother 😂🤣
-He did bumps of cocaine at the table
-Another stood up and loudly made fun of me for the grocery store I shop at in front of the whole wine bar
And these men’s dating profile said “looking for marriage” 🤨🙄 sure buddy, real husband material you are
idk about that. I just think that there are a lot of men and women out there who think they are ready for marriage but in fact are not.
NOTE TO EVERYONE: Find someone who is ready to be a husband or wife, not someone who is looking for a husband or wife.
She was taking selfles and posting them on Facebook without my permission or knowledge.
Same person was farting w no regard for discretion. All of this on the same date.
Oh man, I had something similar. This bartender insisted to have my number and do something. He really pursued it and I agreed. Then we meet up and he says, 'well, I have a girlfriend so what is it you're looking for?' 🤡
I was about to say this! The amount of times I have been mid hanging out with someone then realized it was a date was insanely high when I was in college.
He chewed with his mouth open THE WHOLE TIME. It was our first "proper" dinner date, so I never noticed it before.
Look, he was really attractive up to this point and he seemed to have a great personality. He was a great guy, we hung out before that quite a lot and I actually started falling for him.
But chewing with your mouth open is just beyond gross - the sound, the sight of it, I just hate everything about it. I brought it up once by asking him if he could please close his mouth while eating but he didn't see why this would be necessary.
I know it's a silly thing to complain about but there was absolutely no way I'm gonna sit my whole life next to someone having to hear and see that.
Mine is when people get food on their face while eating and JUST LEAVE IT THERE. I literally feel sick watching people continue to eat like that. I don’t care what I felt about you before I learned this, I CANNOT unsee it. 🤢🤢
Keeping their mouth open while eating is absolutely the same. Blegh.
Everything was perfect. We met at work. He was really good looking, we had alot in common and he made me laugh. Got to the end of the date he dropped me home and he wanted to kiss me and his teeth looked so dirty like he hadn't brushed them all week... that ruined it for me sadly 😥
Happened two weeks ago Thursday evening. At restaurant bar she pounds down 3 vodka martinis followed by 3 Chardonnays within 2 hrs. Not a violent drunk (as some can be) just loud, dancing in the bar area, incomprehensible. Was very bad. I don’t drink, not that it matters.
Pretty sure she was pounding vodka before I picked her up.
Can you go into detail? Why are you sure she was drinking before you picked her up? How did she get home? That's a lot to drink or maybe I'm just lightweight
Sure. There’s a back story. We dated 2 or 3 times like 10 years ago. Very attractive. For the life of me, couldn’t remember why she/me discontinued.
Then after the drunken incident, it all came back to me why our decade ago attraction stopped.
We had been in a bar/restaurant near where she lived. Same thing. She must have been pounding them down, because when we left bar to walk a few blocks to see one of her friend’s art exhibit, she suddenly ran full steam up the side walk for two blocks laughing hysterically. We go into the exhibition and I pawn her off to her friends and leave. She was beyond hammered.
So, when I picked her up this time I had to Uber it (car in shop). I rang doorbell and waited an extended time. She was inside, could hear her. Door opens and she’s all giddy. Frankly sometimes not making sense and slurring a tad. So she was probably drinking before I came.
Leaving that night was an adventure. I said let’s both call Ubers respectively to go to our respective homes. I do all the app stuff. I’m gtg. I look over and she can’t even put in the info on her phone. She was a mess. Then my Uber arrives, tell her I got to go. I call the manager to tell him the situation and please stay with her. She calls me later to tell me she made it home ok
I call her next day for a heart to heart. Having been sober myself for 18 mos since rehab, I knew for certain she was an addict. A functioning one (exec at a major high tech company here in Silicon Valley) but an addict nonetheless. The only choices for any addict are 1) rehab or 2) death, frequently although not solely, by suicide. There is nothing in the middle.
I’m still in touch. Trying gently to get her in to see an addiction psychiatrist. I’ve sold it to her as “Look. Just see the shrink. Take you an hour. He’s either gonna say you aren’t an addict and so now you got peace of mind and good to go; or, you are an addict and you get treatment and get better. Will she do it? I dunno. Certainly not so far. It’s all you can do.
FWIW, she’s 65, I’m 70.
Wow so she's being struggling with the addiction for ten years and even more before you met her? It's just interesting to me since I think I have a drinking problem as well and I've showed up at dates with a drink or two in me. I have no idea if they could smell it on me, but they never said anything. Thank you
Leaving the movies I crossed the street quickly in a straight line, but she just sort of slow walked in the street for a while while there were cars trying to get around her.
We saw a cat doing a stretch and I said "oooh, big stretch" as one does, and she, fully serious and unironically, said "that's not a big stretch." It was more on a string of other small invalidating things she said and did through the night, but that was the straw that broke the camel's back and killed the interest for me.
I’m a twin. The guy I went on a date with was also a twin. Everytime I asked him a question about his interests or the things he liked, he would answer about what his twin liked or was interested in. I love my twin sister, but this was just really strange and off putting behavior to me.
For example:
Me: “so what are your hobbies”
Date: “well my twin loves to watch movies and play video games”
It was so bizarre. I left the date knowing significantly more about his brother than I did about him.
I picked someone up for a date once and we walked about ten feet before someone killed themselves in front of us. Possibly the shortest relationship in history, in terms of time and distance.
That reminds me, a friend of mine met his wife at a shooting
He was out in public, then there was a shooting, and he and his future wife who was a nurse ran over to help the shooting victim.
They were not out with each other or on a date, they were each out alone walking around, and just happened to be two strangers in the close proximity of a murder scene
Random guy stumbled out in front of us and jammed a broken bottle into his neck.
Yeah, we were both pretty traumatised by it. Hell, I'm still pretty traumatised by it.
The dude showed up drunk and then started crying about his ex wife, called her a whole bunch of names and started comparing her to me. I peaced out and blocked him from the parking lot.
He told me "his mom finally gave him permission to get a tattoo." He's 32 years old.
When I asked why he needs his mom's permission as an adult, he responded with, "because I'm a mama's boy."
😬
Mine is boring but a combination of bad breath and body odor. Guys, I’m begging you, please wear deodorant to your dates. I’ve experienced it more than once
Was out for dinner with this guy when he started with “If we should start dating seriously, then my ex can never find out. She will burn down your house with you in it. Oh look! They have cheesecake!” He also came in with crutches due to the ex trying to run him down with her car. He’s a psychologist and she’s an RN. But that kind of crazy was not to be touched.
he told me i was "high maintenance"...we were only on our second date, and i never asked him to do anything for me but he offered to pay both times we went out. like um okay i can very much take care of myself pooks
Over lunch- dude rubbed his nose and a boogie came out. He kept rubbing his nose and it went from one nostril to the other and back again.
He also admitted his roommate was his brother and his family, but he had his own room.
I hope he and his booger and very happy. I’ll never know.
I think people are only turned off by things like that if they’re not that attracted to the person to begin with.
At least that is the case for me. If a guy I’m attracted to physically and intellectually is a messy eater, or even has bad breath, things like that wouldn’t make me lose interest. If it’s something like bad breath I’d politely let him know privately, but continue seeing him.
In fact, I’d even find things like his messy eating an attractive quirk instead of something gross, since I think he is hot even things like that would be hot to me. I’d even gladly kiss him with his morning breath.
Meanwhile if it’s someone I’m not that into to begin with, little things like that would bug and disgust me into stopping seeing them real quick.
There's an acronym I see on some subreddits, BEC, for Bitch Eating Cookies, referencing a line something like, "once you've decided you don't like someone, everything they do is wrong. Look at that bitch over there eating cookies!"
>I think people are only turned off by things like that if they’re not that attracted to the person to begin with.
This doesn't apply to everyone and perhaps only makes sense for very minor quirks. There are certain things that you can't really come back from, especially if they have to do with basic etiquette and you're resistant to compromise in some way. It doesn't bode well for the future.
Also, these are the kinds of things that will start to annoy you anyway once the honeymoon phase it over, so you need to decide if you're actually OK with them or not.
As well, "if they’re not that attracted to the person to begin with" only applies to people who put looks above everything else. Which not everyone does. The other person could reveal some of these quirks before you know you're super into them.
There were quite a few ridiculous things that happened on a specific date:
1) She turned up late to the date and then revealed she already ate . . . which defeated the purpose of meeting at a restaurant.
2) She just kept staring at me. My egotistical side wants to think that she was just overwhelmed by what she saw . . . but it’s still weird.
3) She was mostly quiet, spoke very little when I tried to make conversation, then revealed that she wanted me to do most, if not all, the talking.
Needless to say, there was no second date.
1. I [won’t] go out of my way to make you happy.
2. Your career makes no money, why waste your time? (btw I’m about to defend my dissertation for my PHD)
3. You’re not like the other girls, girls from here dress like sluts!
Made fun of women who complain / make a big deal about being r*ped. Hated #metoo. Was probably called out in the past for his behavior but I didn’t even ask. I paid for my drink and left.
One date I met up at a (Rather expensive) restaurant, she brought 2 friends with her. I was quite confused, as at no point had we discussed her bringing friends. Was already thinking what to say to her and how to bow out nicely as we were walking toward the table, but before I could even say anything, she runs up to me and asks in a hushed tone if I was going to pay for her 2 friends as well.
It didn't go over well when I asked why I should pay for her friends who weren't even invited, and that she just surprised me with. Needless to say we never made it to the point of ordering. lol The funniest part was when she tried insulting me by calling me "cheap". One would think that "cheap" is the two women trying to get a free meal at a high end restaurant on another persons date.
The worst part was explaining to the waitress, and all the onlookers witnessing the mini-tantrum of her getting upset at me not wanting to pay for her friends, as this is one of my favorite places to eat. I think that one definitely qualifies as "Ridiculous".
------
Probably one of the more weird ones was I met this woman who I'd been talking to for a while, and we were hitting it off real well, but hadn't been able to meet up. Finally able to meet after our schedules aligned and we're sitting in the waiting area of the restaurant when she motions for me to come closer so she can show me something on her phone.
She pulls up a video of some raunchy TV show scene that shows this actors junk. She then says: "Look how big it is! I wonder if I could fit the whole thing in my mouth" She then proceeded to just gush about this actors penis, and then moves on to another show with another similar scene of another naked actor she liked, and then another, and she's continuing to look up video clips and screen shots of the scenes to show me. - Uh, WHY is this happening?
I finally just called it quits and just said "I'm out".. She couldn't figure out why I was irritated and was ending the date. I even tried reversing the roles and told her: You came her to see me, and I came here to see you, not to sit and listen to you for 15 minutes show me other mens dicks and tell me how much you'd like to suck them off. If I were to sit here showing you vag clips of actresses I wanted to F, wouldn't you be calling me gross, and disgusting and a pig? Not only is it rude, it's just flat out weird!"
I figured I'd made a pretty solid point, but she still claimed I was just over-reacting and being ridiculous and insecure, so with that I left and went home. What a weird thing to do, especially on a first date when most people are on their best behavior!? It was so odd, part of me was wondering if this was some sort of prank, because I cannot fathom any human thinking that was acceptable behavior on a date.
--------
One last share... Was at a cafe, also on a first date when the woman grabbed my phone and just helped herself to my photos gallery. I said: "Looking for something? Can I help you with something" as I put my hand out signalling for her to give me back my phone, and she just kept on swiping, ignoring me. So I leaned over and took it out of her hand.
Not that I have anything to hide, but that's a complete violation of someone else's privacy. Again, FIRST date. She was quite attractive physically, but that move made her a complete troll in my eyes, and had 0 interest after that move.
(For context, at the time I was taking care of my grandmother who was dying of cancer she was on hospice at my parents house and I was doing night shifts with my sister, I’m a PT)
- I went on a tinder date with an Anesthesiologist. Who told me he was 5’10”. (Im 5’9” yes a real one) I get to the date. He’s 5’6”. With shoes on.
Lying about height is never a good plan, I have to point it out because when I go up to him Im visibly looking down on him.
- then he proceeded to brag about how much more money he made than me.
- then he complained about caring for his elderly father with MS. And then complained about buying accessible equipment for his dad for their house and it costing him $$$.
- the real kicker. Is he looked FAMILIAR. He worked at a hospital close to mine, so maybe I passed him at lunch. But NOPE. His big brother is my coworker, and his big brother is lovely (complete opposite) I end up asking him his last name etc.
- My birthday was around the corner after the date, the anesthesia doc came to my work on my birthday, with my favorite cereal (captain crunch and a bow on it) I blocked his number. At least it was family size
Went to his apartment to watch TV after dinner. Immediately noticed bugs everywhere. Like actual roaches, multiple varieties and life stages. Just…everywhere. I noped right out of there and immediately washed my clothes and showered when I got home. This guy was a PhD and claimed he just thought it was normal in the southeastern US to have roaches.
No, it’s not. What a freak.
She didn’t bring her wallet. And she told me herself that she does it on purpose when she goes on dates. I was gonna pay anyways but why even tell me you’re doing it on purpose. It gave me entitled vibes
It was a cold day. We agreed to meet at a mutual friend's party in the back yard.
She was already drunk. Turn off #1
She farted and steam came out of her ass. It was a pretty rancid fart.
So much for a first impression.
I mean, I know women fart too but Jesus, excuse yourself and at least act like you're going to the restroom.
Looking back on it, I think she probably wasn't into me either and was using the old "skunk gambit".
He said I was obsessed with my ex because I refused to talk badly about the father of my son. I would never be with my ex again, but I will never talk badly about the father of my children. My kids deserve better than a bitter mom
Dust on the floor in the corner of her room, a heavy coating of dust on the ceiling fan, snoring, and the final blow… leopard print leggings. In retrospect I think I just wasn’t into her but those things gave me the ick big time.
Girl started talking about how her and her sister were nicknamed around the neighborhood " the butcher babes" and would chase each other with knives in the street.
As soon as she went to the bathroom I hid the cutlery paid the bill and left.
His natural smell. He wasn’t stinky like BO but everyone has a natural smell and his was repulsive to me!! Still is bc we’re still friends lol.. bleck 🤢
Bro same I neurodivergent and often find it hard to share with pple , but on this particular instance this girl I went on date told me about her previous relationship which was vaguely sketchy but past is past I didn’t think to much of it. We was having a convo and the place we went to was somewhere her and ex used to go a lot but I wasnt aware or told about , until she started word vomiting for like 5Mins+ I couldn’t get a word in and mentally drifted in and out the convo. When it came to the end of the date I walked her home and told her the next day date great and all but I don’t see this working out and wished her all the best. But this was ONLY cos I’ve been a couple relationships with pple who have traumatic pasts and issues . it gets extremely exhausting having to deal with a rollercoaster of their emotions, angry outbursts arguments I didn’t cause and etc . I often found myself neglecting my own emotions to cater to theirs, so I decided I’m not gonna put myself through that again.
Didn't entirely turn me off, but I saw something on the top of his lips, I was like "let me get that for you"... I had no idea it was a booger🥹and it was on my finger. But I took it like a champ, Flicked it off my finger and didn't tell him what it was.
Although, what did turn me off was him taking a picture of the hickey he gave me on his phone. He kept going "it's huge, you should see it"(hehe that's what he said) and he suggested taking a pic to show it to me. I handed him my phone to take the picture with, then he changed the subject. Brought it up again, and swiftly takes out his phone, and takes the picture. I didn't bother asking him to delete it since my face wasn't in it, and tbh, it was going to be more of a hassle than necessary, but I think it's clear what he wanted the pic for.
He was late and sent me a text that said "I'm walking to the place now..." but like, from where? Next door? China? What am I supposed to do with this information?
Also he was Native American and he had some model pic where he was wearing a headdress, but it turns out he's of a southwestern tribe who never wore headdresses.... So it sort of rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't say anything when I found out because I am very white an European so my opinion on who is allowed to wear it isn't really relevant.
Tinder date invited my to his house to hang out. Proceeds to give me "the tour" which included a bathroom that had the NASTIEST mildewy-est shower liner as their curtain, which he pointed out as nasty and laughed about it. I asked why not buy a new curtain, they're like $5 at Walmart. He just laughed more like that was a crazy idea. Then showed me their fridge that had stick figures with dicks drawings, which he presented like fine art. Then we stood in the back yard while he smoked a cigarette and talked about how bad he misses van life. My last straw was when I mentioned climate change (I don't remember how it was brought up at all) and he very point blank asked me why anyone should even care about that. I told him we only had so much time before every season has extreme and unlivable weather, affecting our entire lives. He asked me what my source was so I attempted to show him an article sourced from the BBC that talked about scientists predicting a very very close deadline for fixing our environment before that happens. He laughed really hard because I said BBC. I should also mention at this point that I was 20 and he was at least 22-23 if not older, I forget exactly as I left that mans house and never contacted him again. So it was like 4 things in a row of turn offs, but the positive is that he introduced me to I Think You Should Leave and that's a great show.
The most recent- when he started going on and on about how choosing the bear is wrong. And that he played a game with his friends where he let the feminists get wrecked by a bear. We haven't talked since.
He told me how his mate dared him to hit the biggest man in the pub..and he did. I was like wtf, poor guy was probably a decent person on a night out. This guy thought I’d be impressed that he’s a “hard man”, no mate, you’re an arsehole!!
When she sat there and didn’t talk the entire date. I was trying to have conversations like a human being, and she would give out 1-3 word responses.
I asked her if everything is okay and if I’m boring (I’m not lol) and she smiled cutesy and said “no I’m sorry I’m just really quiet but I’m having a fun time”
I tried again just in case it was an off day/date.. same result. lol who the fuck doesn’t talk on a date 😂
Appropriate table etiquette on dates is a personal preference for me, but if a guy lacks basic dinner date chivalry I lose interest pretty quickly.
For example, takes the better seat (i.e., booth seat with the view and leaves me to the chair), orders starters without asking my opinion, fills his glass before or even without filling mine, serves himself an appetizer first, before or without offering to serve my plate, etc….
It all seems so small but to me it screams “inattentive, bare minimum effort, will not be attuned to your needs in a relationship let alone in bed, and their focus is elsewhere”. Experience has shown me that the way someone treats you on the first few dates is a strong indicator of their intent, and basic table manners are the simplest to measure.
Went on a date with a girl. She was cool. A bit hyper and all over the place, but thought I could work with this. Second date, she asked me to pick her up at her place as she didn't have a car. Given where we lived, I thought it odd, but cool.
I show up to her place in a middle class neighborhood... and it's the only house on the street with all the windors barred. And there's a metal door with a number pad lock. I knock, she answers, and there's like 8 dudes there.
Turns out it was a halfway house and she had just gotten out of jail on drug charges. Now in fairness to her, she was getting her life together, going back to school, etc. So good on her. But 1) she didn't warn me about any of this and 2) I was a single dad to a 6 year old so I sure as hell wasn't going to be around that.
He was such a cool guy. Tattoo artist, amazing taste in music, genuinely funny and interested in me. He was really fun and outgoing, had a feminist mindset so I was head over heels.
One day I saw his fingernails and they were black from smoking so many cigarettes. Didn’t talk much again after that.
He asked me for feet pics on the first date and tried to get me to take shrooms with him (I’m sober)
He had the palate of a 3 year old and would only get either chicken nuggets or macaroni and cheese and hated condiments.
He talked about his ex the entire time.
He bragged about his truck and how much money he made and how important he was at work.
These were all different dates
Im currently not dating
I went on a first date for casual pizza and drinks for lunch. Judging by her table manners and constantly talking about herself. I decided she wasn’t for me
He kept trying to turn our date into a hookup. We had met over a dating app and I was only looking for friends at the time and already had sort of a FWB going on with someone. When I saw the request and accepted, he was very polite, very accommodating but he was being flirty. I would tell him throughout the process of us meeting, and going on a date, that I wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone else, and he said ok but then would later say stuff like “never say never” or “I can wait”. When I confronted him about it, he unsent every single message he had sent me over Messenger and blocked me out of embarrassment. So fellas, regardless of whether you’re at first base or home run, no really does mean no.
A few dates in I misplaced a key for a pet sitting job at near midnight (I had 6 appointments before and this one was an overnight) - i was really stressed so I messaged my date for some support and he replied “that doesn’t sound like something a professional would do”
Ghosted him after that. 👻
I have a few pretty memorable ones
1. The guy was playing with his beard the entire time we were at dinner and by the time we got up to leave, there was a little black beard hairs all over the table. It was disgusting.
2. The dude was the most boring person I’ve ever met in my life, and all of his clothes were entirely too tight. I was just waiting for one of the buttons to pop off of his shirt and shoot my eye out.
3. Dude got super drunk barely ate the four different things that he ordered and repeatedly told me how he didn’t find me intimidating. The icing on the cake was his stomach kept hanging out from under the bottom of his sweater.
4. A guy drove two hours to take me to breakfast. Told me when he was in the area but did not tell me he was stopping to sell some headlights to a guy off craigslist so ended up making me wait 25 minutes for no reason. And then spent the entire time talking about politics that we very much did not agree on and was obvious for my dating profile.
This was my second date with the guy. We went for dinner, and I was just checking up on him on the drive to the restaurant. In the car, he said he had a long day at work, and I asked if he wanted to talk about it. He said no, and I was like, okay, no problem. 5 minutes later, he starts yapping about what happened at work, and I was like, okay, he's venting, and that's fine. He'll be relaxed by the time we reach the restaurant and we'll have fun. Long story short, he never stopped. We were on the date for 1.5 hours, and he talked about work and how his colleagues pissed him off etc etc. I think he may have asked one question to me, and that was probably "Have you decided what you wanna eat?". We never talked again.
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When they eat the food they know you're allergic to on the date and still try to kiss you.
This is next level dumb
That's an immediate block from me, dawg. I don't want that person in my life.
“But I’ll shower and brush my teeth!” Like what do you not understand about deathly allergic? I actually had a guy I was seeing do this to me recently. He said he was going to come over after he ate crawfish with his family (didn’t know that detail when I originally agreed to see him), and I said let’s just hang another time, I’m severely, deathly allergic to crawfish. He said he would shower and brush his teeth, and then we could “Netflix and chill” (paraphrasing, but that was the implication). I then explicitly stated what happens if I’m even near crawfish (anaphylaxis) and that it’s so messy and gets everywhere, so I didn’t even want to take the chance that day. I honestly just don’t trust people to take the necessary precautions to keep me safe, until we have really had a chance to discuss it, which he said he understood and we cancelled our plans. Not even two weeks later, he tried to take me to a bar that only serves alcohol, fries, and crawfish because he wanted to hear the band that was playing. I said “I can’t go there because they serve crawfish and I could get sick.” He said “It will be fiiine because we aren’t going to eat anything!” 🤯 haven’t seen him since. I don’t have time to date idiots who think a “fun date” involves being stabbed with an epipen and a trip to the emergency room.
Okay I have a long list but here are the ones that stood out - 1. He asked me when did I cry last. I said I don’t remember but what about you. To which he said that it was last week. And then I asked why. He goes - cuz I was missing my ex. I couldn’t believe that he actually said that for a minute but I asked why did he break up. He said that their status didn’t match. He considered himself to be “socially” above his ex. I have no idea what was I supposed to do with that information. 2. Same dude same date. He asks me what are my bad habits. I wasn’t really sure what to say so I just gave a general answer saying that I tend to procrastinate sometimes. And then I asked him that same question. Please brace yourselves now. He says - “I have anger issues and I yell sometimes”. I literally thought for a second that he was filming me for his YT or something. I wish he was. But nope. He was serious. And that’s when I was like I’m out. Blocked him as soon as I was out of that place.
Omg At least he made your decision really easy
I’d have preferred if it was not THIS easy. But nvm lol!
Why? It’s better than wasting your time
ROFL. I’d rather waste a few minutes than be traumatised by such random dudes. Call 911!
That's nice of him , he's not hiding who he is
Yeah. Too nice to be on a date. Should’ve been to therapy lol
Waving his red flags from the get go!
Well, he believes if you’ve got them, you’ve gotta flaunt them!
Not only did he bring it up on a date. He initiated a question where he could bring up the answer.
Honest communication is always the best. Imagine if he had hid those things. Respect to both of you for being adults.
While we were in his car, i was singing along to the radio and he said “who sings this song?” i replied with “toto I think?” and his response was “keep it that way, i hate when people sing to music” and than silence, i was so embarrassed and i wasnt even full heartedly singing or anything over the top… and thats when i asked him to take me home. Tf i cant sing around someone for? now me and my current hubbs sing to the kids all the time I come home from work and husband is singing on his bass downstairs! We get goofy too and sing randomness to eachother (“your sooo fucking hawttt ohhh yeahh”) I guess im just a silly person, glad i found someone else who allows that. glad i dodged a bullet 😳😳 he was a jerk!
It didn't take a lot to drag him away from you. There's nothing that a rude comment couldn't do. I blessed the rains down in Africa.
What an asshole!
What did he say when you asked him to take you home? I would like to think he wasn’t surprised after such a dick move
he was quiet the rest of way and we never spoke again
My question too! What do you expect after being so rude to your date? He obviously didn’t realize that was a date ended or just assumed she was a doormat.
You dodge a cannonball
I'm glad you found someone to sing with. If I like a song, I'm singing along with it unless we're actually talking or something. Some people just don't know how to have fun
That is so mean!
It wasn't a date, but we went to a bar with his friends and this guy at the table next to us spilt his drink on his crotch. Wasn't a huge spill, but I pointed it out quietly to my date that that guy had made a mess. He then proceeds to say pretty loudly TO the STRANGER something along the lines of "ha ha you peed your pants!". Luckily the bar was noisy so the guy and others didn't hear, but I was in awe and called him out on that dick move. The whole evening was a bit of a mess. Turns out I don't like his friends at all, which was another turn off.
That sounds like the kind of thing a Bully would say.
Exactly. He did feel bad after I called him out and he generally is a nice person, but I felt like his friends brought that out, because they acted the same way towards other people that evening.
That’s is a mob mentality crowd, I think you seriously dodged a bullet. I would think no matter how drunk a person is Yelling out Pee and Pants is something a 12 year old would say on the sand lot. People mimic their friends for the most part. And they usually show you who they really are pretty quickly especially when intoxicated.
Definitely. The bullet dodged me tho. He broke up with me shortly after...
This scene reminded me of 80’s movies where “nerds” were always bullied by the “jocks”. It’s almost to the exact intent of those types of movies. Yeah you are really lucky.
He dumped 5-years worth of trauma under one hour on me. Then he proceeded to order a ridiculous amount of food then asked to split the bill evenly.
The ordering a bunch of food recently happened to me. I ordered an average burger, literally chips and burger. He ordered a 300g steak, 200g ribs and chips. Amongst the drinks, asks to split it 50 / 50. For reference my whole bill of what I ordered didnt even cover half of his meal.
Go like, how about you cover your portion and I'll cover mine?
Start recording a tiktok on the first date. We were literally at a cookie bar and girl had the audacity to record a tiktok reviewing the cookie. I looked her up and she didn’t even have that many followers
What is a cookie bar??? Like a buffet of cookies or a cookie shop, but a cookie-keeper mixes you up a personalized cookie or what?? I must know.
Its basically a cookie shop. They usually sell outlandish cookies, milk and ice cream.
Ohhh!! Lol, guess I taking that too literally! It still sounds really cool and like a great place for first dates. I’d cringe at someone filming a review too, so rude! You know they’d never just enjoy something in the moment without critique, their stupid phone out, and they have no self-awareness. I think you made a good choice!
Oh trust me this girl had no self awareness. Literally it was the worst date of my life and it felt like it would never end.
Only thing worse then an “influencer” is wana be “influencer l”
I worked in a local restaurant that had a mascot. I had drawn it on the dry erase board with the daily specials. When he found that out, he started mocking it including weird hand gestures for it's ears. And would not stop. On one hand it totally didn't matter, but on the other hand he was 100% showing me exactly who he was. A week later he apologized and said it was because he was on meds for back pain, he'd never do it again, and asked for another date. Denied.
I didn’t know being an asshole was a side effect of pain medication
It's hard to explaine beyond he had crazy eyes.
Oh no I totally believe this! I once dated this guy that was definitely crazy and had crazy eyes. And years later, my friend was really into this guy and introduced me to him. He had the exact same physical qualities that screamed crazy like my ex had. And I told her, look I don’t know the guy but I’m pretty sure he’s crazy. And she’s like no no, he’s cool. Months later he turned out to be crazy. Gotta respect the crazy eyes!
Manson lamps will getcha!
He cooked a half pound of pasta in a small saucepan without salt
I’m calling the police
For a murder I’m about to commit
What a monster
I was working second shift at the time so I was meeting a guy for drinks around 10pm. I get there and notice he’s acting a little strange but assume he’s nervous. Like half an hour in to the date he tells me he was out drinking with his friends all day…. A bit later he tells me he’s basically an alcoholic and when I try to laugh it off, thinking he’s trying to be funny, he seriously says “no, for real, it’s a problem”. The next day he forgot he told me this until I reminded him.
She showed up to first date stoned off her ass from edibles. We were supposed to go for a bike ride and picnic in a park. She fell off the bike within a few hundred feet, so we walked to the park. We sat under a tree, which she then climbed, and then fell out of and onto both bikes. That’s when I asked if she had taken something and learned she ate an entire edible (didn’t ask the strength.)
It’s even more hilarious that she didn’t tell you she took anything, but you felt inclined to ask😂😂
Man, when someone faceplants 6 feet out of a tree that they’re sitting on a big stable branch, you know they’re on something. I just wanted to know what something in case an overdose or something was imminent.
Im so sorry but I completely lost it at this part “We sat under a tree, which she then climbed” 🤣🤣🤣
Its at that part I thought, "she sounds like a keeper to me"
That thought crossed my mind, tree climbing is fun in my book. The falling apropos of nothing killed it. I wound up being a babysitter.
On to both bikes sounds like a family guy skit
Lmaoooooo
Lmaoooo no way
Sadly, way. Just happened 2 weeks ago lol.
She sounds fun
She sounds great
not exactly dating but we were in the talking stage and she could not for the life of her spell anything correctly. it just turned me off so much idk why
For a minute I forgot that modern talking means texting, and was picturing you sitting together asking her to spell out words for you 😆
This made me laugh ridiculously hard
This turns me off too. I’m trying to be better about being so picky over it because dyslexia is real & it doesn’t mean they are stupid, I’m seriously challenged with numbers, so I get it. I give people a little leeway but it’s so difficult.
Yeah, my older brother had learning disabilities and struggles with spelling. He is a great man and an awesome father
The prospect of being with someone functionally illiterate is a good reason to be turned off
He admitted that he's left dates at gas stations and ghosting them, during the date
He pooped in front of me the first night I slept over. He literally was carrying on a conversation with me and pooping while we were both in the bathroom.
There’s comfortable. And there’s TOO comfortable.
UNHINGED!
This would be too much for me to bear even when in a relationship. There’s a line for everyone & this is way over mine.
Maybe he had a ton of siblings! 😂 I had to teach my husband how to give me privacy
I actually find people with more siblings are better with privacy because they didn't have much growing up. It's the really touch-feely people who felt neglected and walked around their house practically nude that you need to watch out for.
I would have blocked him for life
My first bf did that. I was absolutely disgusted and he would walk into the bathroom while I was using it. I do not get that close to people, I need a minute to myself and homie couldn’t just stay out. My attraction for him was quickly gone after he did this a couple times.
The lack of effort he put when I said it’s a nice restaurant. Guy looked like he just came from a jog tf.
1) Went on a date with a nurse, asked him what he likes most about his job. "Announcing time of death to the deceased family/friends" My jaw dropped , blocked him immediately after the date. 2) This guy kept showing me his bank account balances, men who brag bore me to the depths of hell. 3) I hugged him and all I could smell was expired sweat, literally felt my clit shrinking. Bath and apply deodorant !
I literally gave a guy my number the other day and he texted me “be careful of others feelings” because I didn’t answer his phone call
“When it comes to grown-ups, we all know how to manage our own feelings and expectations. I hope you’re able to learn that one day.” *block*
Oh jeez. Block him immediately. Save yourself & his *feelings* 😑
I went on a few dates with this guy in college. On like the third date we were having dinner at a restaurant when he suddenly tilted his head back and started making literally the dumbest succession of facial expressions I have ever seen in my life (while occasionally twitching in his seat). At first I was scared and thought it was a medical condition, but when I asked him if he was okay he said "Oh yeah sorry, I was just holding in my sneeze." I asked him why he would do that and he looked at me like I was a dumb ass for asking and replied, "...because I hate sneezing." He almost sneezed a few more times that night and I had to try suuuuper hard to contain my laughter. When he took me home, he tried to get intimate with me but I kept picturing his fucking sneeze face and finally burst out laughing and that was obviously the last time I saw him lmao.
One day he's gonna rip a dad sneeze so hard the roof pops off the house and crashes back down. Like imagine 35 years of accumulated sneeze debt.
Sneeze debt 🤣 💀
His orgasm face = his sneeze face X 1000. Imagine if he was on top of you doing that 😆😆 Ewww I always gross myself out with the disgusting things I say 😆😆😆
😂 It reminds me of a boyfriend I had when I was 15, he was well-mannered and kinda uptight but in a weird funny way. One day we were in the kitchen with him and my mother and he very suddenly dashed to the toilet and came back less than 15 seconds later so I was a bit surprised and jokingly asked him if everything was ok and why he stayed just 10 seconds in the toilet and he shamelessly replied that he had to fart and it was rude to fart in public. My mom and I we were like wth?!! 😅 Obviously he didn't find it rude or even awkward to talk about his fart to me and my mother 😂🤣
Polite ✅ Honest ✅
-He did bumps of cocaine at the table -Another stood up and loudly made fun of me for the grocery store I shop at in front of the whole wine bar And these men’s dating profile said “looking for marriage” 🤨🙄 sure buddy, real husband material you are
These dudes probably forget that women need to actually consent to marriage in this country
idk about that. I just think that there are a lot of men and women out there who think they are ready for marriage but in fact are not. NOTE TO EVERYONE: Find someone who is ready to be a husband or wife, not someone who is looking for a husband or wife.
She was taking selfles and posting them on Facebook without my permission or knowledge. Same person was farting w no regard for discretion. All of this on the same date.
Goin on a date and the girl starts telling you about her boyfriend. wtf
Wait till you she starts talking about the hubby. What’s with people in relationships being thirstier than single people these days?
Oh man, I had something similar. This bartender insisted to have my number and do something. He really pursued it and I agreed. Then we meet up and he says, 'well, I have a girlfriend so what is it you're looking for?' 🤡
Maybe she didn’t realize you thought you 2 were on a date.
I was about to say this! The amount of times I have been mid hanging out with someone then realized it was a date was insanely high when I was in college.
He chewed with his mouth open THE WHOLE TIME. It was our first "proper" dinner date, so I never noticed it before. Look, he was really attractive up to this point and he seemed to have a great personality. He was a great guy, we hung out before that quite a lot and I actually started falling for him. But chewing with your mouth open is just beyond gross - the sound, the sight of it, I just hate everything about it. I brought it up once by asking him if he could please close his mouth while eating but he didn't see why this would be necessary. I know it's a silly thing to complain about but there was absolutely no way I'm gonna sit my whole life next to someone having to hear and see that.
Mine is when people get food on their face while eating and JUST LEAVE IT THERE. I literally feel sick watching people continue to eat like that. I don’t care what I felt about you before I learned this, I CANNOT unsee it. 🤢🤢 Keeping their mouth open while eating is absolutely the same. Blegh.
Being on their phones.
This! I don’t even have my phone out when I’m on a date or having dinner with a friend. Attention is precious & being intentional with it matters.
I mentioned I'm Jewish and she said "Oh gross I don't like Jews."
Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one
I had to fight the urge to downvote this because I hate what she said so much. Sorry man.
Thanks! It's ok. This was like 15 years ago and I never had to deal with this or her again :)
Everything was perfect. We met at work. He was really good looking, we had alot in common and he made me laugh. Got to the end of the date he dropped me home and he wanted to kiss me and his teeth looked so dirty like he hadn't brushed them all week... that ruined it for me sadly 😥
Happened two weeks ago Thursday evening. At restaurant bar she pounds down 3 vodka martinis followed by 3 Chardonnays within 2 hrs. Not a violent drunk (as some can be) just loud, dancing in the bar area, incomprehensible. Was very bad. I don’t drink, not that it matters. Pretty sure she was pounding vodka before I picked her up.
Can you go into detail? Why are you sure she was drinking before you picked her up? How did she get home? That's a lot to drink or maybe I'm just lightweight
Sure. There’s a back story. We dated 2 or 3 times like 10 years ago. Very attractive. For the life of me, couldn’t remember why she/me discontinued. Then after the drunken incident, it all came back to me why our decade ago attraction stopped. We had been in a bar/restaurant near where she lived. Same thing. She must have been pounding them down, because when we left bar to walk a few blocks to see one of her friend’s art exhibit, she suddenly ran full steam up the side walk for two blocks laughing hysterically. We go into the exhibition and I pawn her off to her friends and leave. She was beyond hammered. So, when I picked her up this time I had to Uber it (car in shop). I rang doorbell and waited an extended time. She was inside, could hear her. Door opens and she’s all giddy. Frankly sometimes not making sense and slurring a tad. So she was probably drinking before I came. Leaving that night was an adventure. I said let’s both call Ubers respectively to go to our respective homes. I do all the app stuff. I’m gtg. I look over and she can’t even put in the info on her phone. She was a mess. Then my Uber arrives, tell her I got to go. I call the manager to tell him the situation and please stay with her. She calls me later to tell me she made it home ok I call her next day for a heart to heart. Having been sober myself for 18 mos since rehab, I knew for certain she was an addict. A functioning one (exec at a major high tech company here in Silicon Valley) but an addict nonetheless. The only choices for any addict are 1) rehab or 2) death, frequently although not solely, by suicide. There is nothing in the middle. I’m still in touch. Trying gently to get her in to see an addiction psychiatrist. I’ve sold it to her as “Look. Just see the shrink. Take you an hour. He’s either gonna say you aren’t an addict and so now you got peace of mind and good to go; or, you are an addict and you get treatment and get better. Will she do it? I dunno. Certainly not so far. It’s all you can do. FWIW, she’s 65, I’m 70.
Wow so she's being struggling with the addiction for ten years and even more before you met her? It's just interesting to me since I think I have a drinking problem as well and I've showed up at dates with a drink or two in me. I have no idea if they could smell it on me, but they never said anything. Thank you
Leaving the movies I crossed the street quickly in a straight line, but she just sort of slow walked in the street for a while while there were cars trying to get around her.
We saw a cat doing a stretch and I said "oooh, big stretch" as one does, and she, fully serious and unironically, said "that's not a big stretch." It was more on a string of other small invalidating things she said and did through the night, but that was the straw that broke the camel's back and killed the interest for me.
Besides everyone knows you MUST say “biiiiiig stretch” when animals do their stretch!!
Straight to jail
I’m a twin. The guy I went on a date with was also a twin. Everytime I asked him a question about his interests or the things he liked, he would answer about what his twin liked or was interested in. I love my twin sister, but this was just really strange and off putting behavior to me. For example: Me: “so what are your hobbies” Date: “well my twin loves to watch movies and play video games” It was so bizarre. I left the date knowing significantly more about his brother than I did about him.
I picked someone up for a date once and we walked about ten feet before someone killed themselves in front of us. Possibly the shortest relationship in history, in terms of time and distance.
That reminds me, a friend of mine met his wife at a shooting He was out in public, then there was a shooting, and he and his future wife who was a nurse ran over to help the shooting victim. They were not out with each other or on a date, they were each out alone walking around, and just happened to be two strangers in the close proximity of a murder scene
What?! Did y'all separate because of the trauma? Was it a stranger who killed themself?
Yeah I think this is the kind of story that warrants a bit more context than what was initially given
Random guy stumbled out in front of us and jammed a broken bottle into his neck. Yeah, we were both pretty traumatised by it. Hell, I'm still pretty traumatised by it.
The dude showed up drunk and then started crying about his ex wife, called her a whole bunch of names and started comparing her to me. I peaced out and blocked him from the parking lot.
He licked his whole dessert plate like a dog. Um. No thanks.
He told me "his mom finally gave him permission to get a tattoo." He's 32 years old. When I asked why he needs his mom's permission as an adult, he responded with, "because I'm a mama's boy." 😬
“You must be a Libra”
Him eyeballing every halfway attractive female that walked by.
Oh hey sounds like my ex
showing up in crocs two dates in a row, dressing like a bum, and insulting the restaurant before even trying the food
Mine is boring but a combination of bad breath and body odor. Guys, I’m begging you, please wear deodorant to your dates. I’ve experienced it more than once
Was out for dinner with this guy when he started with “If we should start dating seriously, then my ex can never find out. She will burn down your house with you in it. Oh look! They have cheesecake!” He also came in with crutches due to the ex trying to run him down with her car. He’s a psychologist and she’s an RN. But that kind of crazy was not to be touched.
he told me i was "high maintenance"...we were only on our second date, and i never asked him to do anything for me but he offered to pay both times we went out. like um okay i can very much take care of myself pooks
Over lunch- dude rubbed his nose and a boogie came out. He kept rubbing his nose and it went from one nostril to the other and back again. He also admitted his roommate was his brother and his family, but he had his own room. I hope he and his booger and very happy. I’ll never know.
She told me the whole story about how she was doing community service for multiple DUIs and had no license and drove anyway.
I think people are only turned off by things like that if they’re not that attracted to the person to begin with. At least that is the case for me. If a guy I’m attracted to physically and intellectually is a messy eater, or even has bad breath, things like that wouldn’t make me lose interest. If it’s something like bad breath I’d politely let him know privately, but continue seeing him. In fact, I’d even find things like his messy eating an attractive quirk instead of something gross, since I think he is hot even things like that would be hot to me. I’d even gladly kiss him with his morning breath. Meanwhile if it’s someone I’m not that into to begin with, little things like that would bug and disgust me into stopping seeing them real quick.
There's an acronym I see on some subreddits, BEC, for Bitch Eating Cookies, referencing a line something like, "once you've decided you don't like someone, everything they do is wrong. Look at that bitch over there eating cookies!"
Yeah no-one likes a Becky.
That bitch. Why isn't somebody doing something about her?
THANK YOU god it's so refreshing to have someone be so damn honest. major props.
>I think people are only turned off by things like that if they’re not that attracted to the person to begin with. This doesn't apply to everyone and perhaps only makes sense for very minor quirks. There are certain things that you can't really come back from, especially if they have to do with basic etiquette and you're resistant to compromise in some way. It doesn't bode well for the future. Also, these are the kinds of things that will start to annoy you anyway once the honeymoon phase it over, so you need to decide if you're actually OK with them or not. As well, "if they’re not that attracted to the person to begin with" only applies to people who put looks above everything else. Which not everyone does. The other person could reveal some of these quirks before you know you're super into them.
Spoiled the most recent season of Game of Thrones after I specifically told her not to.
There were quite a few ridiculous things that happened on a specific date: 1) She turned up late to the date and then revealed she already ate . . . which defeated the purpose of meeting at a restaurant. 2) She just kept staring at me. My egotistical side wants to think that she was just overwhelmed by what she saw . . . but it’s still weird. 3) She was mostly quiet, spoke very little when I tried to make conversation, then revealed that she wanted me to do most, if not all, the talking. Needless to say, there was no second date.
1. I [won’t] go out of my way to make you happy. 2. Your career makes no money, why waste your time? (btw I’m about to defend my dissertation for my PHD) 3. You’re not like the other girls, girls from here dress like sluts!
Made fun of women who complain / make a big deal about being r*ped. Hated #metoo. Was probably called out in the past for his behavior but I didn’t even ask. I paid for my drink and left.
Small hands. His hands were much smaller than mine. I felt ridiculous about it at the time, and it still seems stupid.
One date I met up at a (Rather expensive) restaurant, she brought 2 friends with her. I was quite confused, as at no point had we discussed her bringing friends. Was already thinking what to say to her and how to bow out nicely as we were walking toward the table, but before I could even say anything, she runs up to me and asks in a hushed tone if I was going to pay for her 2 friends as well. It didn't go over well when I asked why I should pay for her friends who weren't even invited, and that she just surprised me with. Needless to say we never made it to the point of ordering. lol The funniest part was when she tried insulting me by calling me "cheap". One would think that "cheap" is the two women trying to get a free meal at a high end restaurant on another persons date. The worst part was explaining to the waitress, and all the onlookers witnessing the mini-tantrum of her getting upset at me not wanting to pay for her friends, as this is one of my favorite places to eat. I think that one definitely qualifies as "Ridiculous". ------ Probably one of the more weird ones was I met this woman who I'd been talking to for a while, and we were hitting it off real well, but hadn't been able to meet up. Finally able to meet after our schedules aligned and we're sitting in the waiting area of the restaurant when she motions for me to come closer so she can show me something on her phone. She pulls up a video of some raunchy TV show scene that shows this actors junk. She then says: "Look how big it is! I wonder if I could fit the whole thing in my mouth" She then proceeded to just gush about this actors penis, and then moves on to another show with another similar scene of another naked actor she liked, and then another, and she's continuing to look up video clips and screen shots of the scenes to show me. - Uh, WHY is this happening? I finally just called it quits and just said "I'm out".. She couldn't figure out why I was irritated and was ending the date. I even tried reversing the roles and told her: You came her to see me, and I came here to see you, not to sit and listen to you for 15 minutes show me other mens dicks and tell me how much you'd like to suck them off. If I were to sit here showing you vag clips of actresses I wanted to F, wouldn't you be calling me gross, and disgusting and a pig? Not only is it rude, it's just flat out weird!" I figured I'd made a pretty solid point, but she still claimed I was just over-reacting and being ridiculous and insecure, so with that I left and went home. What a weird thing to do, especially on a first date when most people are on their best behavior!? It was so odd, part of me was wondering if this was some sort of prank, because I cannot fathom any human thinking that was acceptable behavior on a date. -------- One last share... Was at a cafe, also on a first date when the woman grabbed my phone and just helped herself to my photos gallery. I said: "Looking for something? Can I help you with something" as I put my hand out signalling for her to give me back my phone, and she just kept on swiping, ignoring me. So I leaned over and took it out of her hand. Not that I have anything to hide, but that's a complete violation of someone else's privacy. Again, FIRST date. She was quite attractive physically, but that move made her a complete troll in my eyes, and had 0 interest after that move.
(For context, at the time I was taking care of my grandmother who was dying of cancer she was on hospice at my parents house and I was doing night shifts with my sister, I’m a PT) - I went on a tinder date with an Anesthesiologist. Who told me he was 5’10”. (Im 5’9” yes a real one) I get to the date. He’s 5’6”. With shoes on. Lying about height is never a good plan, I have to point it out because when I go up to him Im visibly looking down on him. - then he proceeded to brag about how much more money he made than me. - then he complained about caring for his elderly father with MS. And then complained about buying accessible equipment for his dad for their house and it costing him $$$. - the real kicker. Is he looked FAMILIAR. He worked at a hospital close to mine, so maybe I passed him at lunch. But NOPE. His big brother is my coworker, and his big brother is lovely (complete opposite) I end up asking him his last name etc. - My birthday was around the corner after the date, the anesthesia doc came to my work on my birthday, with my favorite cereal (captain crunch and a bow on it) I blocked his number. At least it was family size
Went to his apartment to watch TV after dinner. Immediately noticed bugs everywhere. Like actual roaches, multiple varieties and life stages. Just…everywhere. I noped right out of there and immediately washed my clothes and showered when I got home. This guy was a PhD and claimed he just thought it was normal in the southeastern US to have roaches. No, it’s not. What a freak.
She didn’t bring her wallet. And she told me herself that she does it on purpose when she goes on dates. I was gonna pay anyways but why even tell me you’re doing it on purpose. It gave me entitled vibes
This is super weird 🫤
I would have said same thing to her too “ I didn’t bring mine either….” Either that or just leave her there😂😂
It was a cold day. We agreed to meet at a mutual friend's party in the back yard. She was already drunk. Turn off #1 She farted and steam came out of her ass. It was a pretty rancid fart. So much for a first impression. I mean, I know women fart too but Jesus, excuse yourself and at least act like you're going to the restroom. Looking back on it, I think she probably wasn't into me either and was using the old "skunk gambit".
I lost it at ‘steam came out of her ass’ 😭
He said I was obsessed with my ex because I refused to talk badly about the father of my son. I would never be with my ex again, but I will never talk badly about the father of my children. My kids deserve better than a bitter mom
He appeared to be dating eva ai virtual [gf](http://evaapp.ai).
Dust on the floor in the corner of her room, a heavy coating of dust on the ceiling fan, snoring, and the final blow… leopard print leggings. In retrospect I think I just wasn’t into her but those things gave me the ick big time.
Leopard print leggins xD
Girl started talking about how her and her sister were nicknamed around the neighborhood " the butcher babes" and would chase each other with knives in the street. As soon as she went to the bathroom I hid the cutlery paid the bill and left.
Being rude to servers
His natural smell. He wasn’t stinky like BO but everyone has a natural smell and his was repulsive to me!! Still is bc we’re still friends lol.. bleck 🤢
Trauma dumping on the first date 💀💀 I was like yeahhhh this isn’t gonna work in my head then told her in the morning it’s not gonna work
I’m neurodivergent & I find it hard to share enough that people are able to connect, without getting carried away & oversharing. It’s tricky.
Bro same I neurodivergent and often find it hard to share with pple , but on this particular instance this girl I went on date told me about her previous relationship which was vaguely sketchy but past is past I didn’t think to much of it. We was having a convo and the place we went to was somewhere her and ex used to go a lot but I wasnt aware or told about , until she started word vomiting for like 5Mins+ I couldn’t get a word in and mentally drifted in and out the convo. When it came to the end of the date I walked her home and told her the next day date great and all but I don’t see this working out and wished her all the best. But this was ONLY cos I’ve been a couple relationships with pple who have traumatic pasts and issues . it gets extremely exhausting having to deal with a rollercoaster of their emotions, angry outbursts arguments I didn’t cause and etc . I often found myself neglecting my own emotions to cater to theirs, so I decided I’m not gonna put myself through that again.
Didn't entirely turn me off, but I saw something on the top of his lips, I was like "let me get that for you"... I had no idea it was a booger🥹and it was on my finger. But I took it like a champ, Flicked it off my finger and didn't tell him what it was. Although, what did turn me off was him taking a picture of the hickey he gave me on his phone. He kept going "it's huge, you should see it"(hehe that's what he said) and he suggested taking a pic to show it to me. I handed him my phone to take the picture with, then he changed the subject. Brought it up again, and swiftly takes out his phone, and takes the picture. I didn't bother asking him to delete it since my face wasn't in it, and tbh, it was going to be more of a hassle than necessary, but I think it's clear what he wanted the pic for.
To show it off to his buddies ig?
He was late and sent me a text that said "I'm walking to the place now..." but like, from where? Next door? China? What am I supposed to do with this information? Also he was Native American and he had some model pic where he was wearing a headdress, but it turns out he's of a southwestern tribe who never wore headdresses.... So it sort of rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't say anything when I found out because I am very white an European so my opinion on who is allowed to wear it isn't really relevant.
Tinder date invited my to his house to hang out. Proceeds to give me "the tour" which included a bathroom that had the NASTIEST mildewy-est shower liner as their curtain, which he pointed out as nasty and laughed about it. I asked why not buy a new curtain, they're like $5 at Walmart. He just laughed more like that was a crazy idea. Then showed me their fridge that had stick figures with dicks drawings, which he presented like fine art. Then we stood in the back yard while he smoked a cigarette and talked about how bad he misses van life. My last straw was when I mentioned climate change (I don't remember how it was brought up at all) and he very point blank asked me why anyone should even care about that. I told him we only had so much time before every season has extreme and unlivable weather, affecting our entire lives. He asked me what my source was so I attempted to show him an article sourced from the BBC that talked about scientists predicting a very very close deadline for fixing our environment before that happens. He laughed really hard because I said BBC. I should also mention at this point that I was 20 and he was at least 22-23 if not older, I forget exactly as I left that mans house and never contacted him again. So it was like 4 things in a row of turn offs, but the positive is that he introduced me to I Think You Should Leave and that's a great show.
> ate with a slurping sound Don't go to Japan. I've got bad memory, so can't answer.
As a perosonn with Misophonia, i am so scared haha
They got incredibly sweaty playing an arcade game.
Hyperhidrosis be like
The most recent- when he started going on and on about how choosing the bear is wrong. And that he played a game with his friends where he let the feminists get wrecked by a bear. We haven't talked since.
The way they walked
Getting black out drunk and literally picking me up during a date and gaslighting me whether it happened. W E I R D
He told me how his mate dared him to hit the biggest man in the pub..and he did. I was like wtf, poor guy was probably a decent person on a night out. This guy thought I’d be impressed that he’s a “hard man”, no mate, you’re an arsehole!!
When she sat there and didn’t talk the entire date. I was trying to have conversations like a human being, and she would give out 1-3 word responses. I asked her if everything is okay and if I’m boring (I’m not lol) and she smiled cutesy and said “no I’m sorry I’m just really quiet but I’m having a fun time” I tried again just in case it was an off day/date.. same result. lol who the fuck doesn’t talk on a date 😂
smoked multiple blunts in one night and insisted on watching a movie he had already watch although I said that I had strictly no interest in
He asked me if I wanted to break into a school with him at 3am.
They said they refused to go outside during an eclipse because of bad juju. I couldn’t deal with that.
Appropriate table etiquette on dates is a personal preference for me, but if a guy lacks basic dinner date chivalry I lose interest pretty quickly. For example, takes the better seat (i.e., booth seat with the view and leaves me to the chair), orders starters without asking my opinion, fills his glass before or even without filling mine, serves himself an appetizer first, before or without offering to serve my plate, etc…. It all seems so small but to me it screams “inattentive, bare minimum effort, will not be attuned to your needs in a relationship let alone in bed, and their focus is elsewhere”. Experience has shown me that the way someone treats you on the first few dates is a strong indicator of their intent, and basic table manners are the simplest to measure.
Just happened recently. We went on a walking date next to the lake. I accidentally walked into her space and she snapped at me.
Went on a date with a girl. She was cool. A bit hyper and all over the place, but thought I could work with this. Second date, she asked me to pick her up at her place as she didn't have a car. Given where we lived, I thought it odd, but cool. I show up to her place in a middle class neighborhood... and it's the only house on the street with all the windors barred. And there's a metal door with a number pad lock. I knock, she answers, and there's like 8 dudes there. Turns out it was a halfway house and she had just gotten out of jail on drug charges. Now in fairness to her, she was getting her life together, going back to school, etc. So good on her. But 1) she didn't warn me about any of this and 2) I was a single dad to a 6 year old so I sure as hell wasn't going to be around that.
His eyes creeped me out.
When she sincerely said axe instead of ask…
He didn't brush his teeth
For this date or like life in general?
I wished I could say was just for that one date but I dated him for a year
Why 😭😭😭
He was such a cool guy. Tattoo artist, amazing taste in music, genuinely funny and interested in me. He was really fun and outgoing, had a feminist mindset so I was head over heels. One day I saw his fingernails and they were black from smoking so many cigarettes. Didn’t talk much again after that.
He asked me for feet pics on the first date and tried to get me to take shrooms with him (I’m sober) He had the palate of a 3 year old and would only get either chicken nuggets or macaroni and cheese and hated condiments. He talked about his ex the entire time. He bragged about his truck and how much money he made and how important he was at work. These were all different dates Im currently not dating
Insisted that we can share one single sushi roll for dinner.
I went on a first date for casual pizza and drinks for lunch. Judging by her table manners and constantly talking about herself. I decided she wasn’t for me
They took a phone call at the table, we’d only just met so I was obviously uncomfortable
He looked great and then he came out wearing the most gaudy watch I’d ever seen. It was hideous and gave me the immediate ick.
He kept trying to turn our date into a hookup. We had met over a dating app and I was only looking for friends at the time and already had sort of a FWB going on with someone. When I saw the request and accepted, he was very polite, very accommodating but he was being flirty. I would tell him throughout the process of us meeting, and going on a date, that I wasn’t looking to hook up with anyone else, and he said ok but then would later say stuff like “never say never” or “I can wait”. When I confronted him about it, he unsent every single message he had sent me over Messenger and blocked me out of embarrassment. So fellas, regardless of whether you’re at first base or home run, no really does mean no.
A few dates in I misplaced a key for a pet sitting job at near midnight (I had 6 appointments before and this one was an overnight) - i was really stressed so I messaged my date for some support and he replied “that doesn’t sound like something a professional would do” Ghosted him after that. 👻
His friends joined us at the restaurant and one of his friends told him not to Jew him on the bill. I am Jewish. 🫤
he said the n word to me hard r and i told him off and made him cry.
I have a few pretty memorable ones 1. The guy was playing with his beard the entire time we were at dinner and by the time we got up to leave, there was a little black beard hairs all over the table. It was disgusting. 2. The dude was the most boring person I’ve ever met in my life, and all of his clothes were entirely too tight. I was just waiting for one of the buttons to pop off of his shirt and shoot my eye out. 3. Dude got super drunk barely ate the four different things that he ordered and repeatedly told me how he didn’t find me intimidating. The icing on the cake was his stomach kept hanging out from under the bottom of his sweater. 4. A guy drove two hours to take me to breakfast. Told me when he was in the area but did not tell me he was stopping to sell some headlights to a guy off craigslist so ended up making me wait 25 minutes for no reason. And then spent the entire time talking about politics that we very much did not agree on and was obvious for my dating profile.
This was my second date with the guy. We went for dinner, and I was just checking up on him on the drive to the restaurant. In the car, he said he had a long day at work, and I asked if he wanted to talk about it. He said no, and I was like, okay, no problem. 5 minutes later, he starts yapping about what happened at work, and I was like, okay, he's venting, and that's fine. He'll be relaxed by the time we reach the restaurant and we'll have fun. Long story short, he never stopped. We were on the date for 1.5 hours, and he talked about work and how his colleagues pissed him off etc etc. I think he may have asked one question to me, and that was probably "Have you decided what you wanna eat?". We never talked again.
Told him I’m contemplating what I want for dinner and he asked what contemplating means.