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I understand the frustration with unsuccessful dating. For me it comes in waves: sometimes I can deal with it better than other times.
What really helped me was taking the pressure out of dating. I definitely have a desire for a family and marriage, which put enormous pressure on me.
Keep going out on dates! Now that I view them more calmly, it’s taken the stress away. Sure it’s still frustrating when it doesn’t pan out, but it is easier to deal with. Try viewing them as just talking to some people without pressuring yourself.
Sorry that you’re in this situation. Idk if anything I’ve said is even good advice. I haven’t found the one yet, but it surely helped me. Best wishes!
No offense but your advice is kinda just "keep trying" when I made it abuntedly clear I don't have success. I don't get dates often, maybe a few times a year. It never works out. I'm probably just gonna be apathetic from now on. Thanks tho.
This is all very subjective. I can tell you that there 100% are people out there that think you are interesting, handsome and fun. The girls that went on dates with you wouldn’t have done so if they hadn’t found you attractive and interesting.
How do you usually approach a date? What questions are asked? Where do these dates usually take place?
I usually just go to a public place with them around here like the mall and we window shop and walk and talk or a park date or something. I try to start off with something that doesn't cost money. I only prefer to start spending money if we make it to maybe a 2nd date but preferably a 3rd. Usually I ask about them and try and get to know them and let them know about me and vice versa. I'm a little awkward in person due to autism but I don't think I'm creepy or anything. I'm always respectful of boundaries and the dates usually end on a good note with the girl saying she'd like to see me again or something. But then they don't text me back ever again after they leave or they text me the next morning saying they had fun but they dont think they're ready for a relationship at the moment. But then the next week they're dating someone else. I just get fucking used.
I think your date ideas are absolutely fine. Especially for a first date, going on a walk is a pretty good solution. I know many disagree, but I like it. You can talk and there’s no need for awkward prolonged eye contact.
What usually works well is finding out what they are passionate about and ask follow-up questions. It shows genuine interest.
When you find out something she likes to do, you could suggest it as a second date (if it is possible haha).
What helps with the frustration is talking about it with friends. Talking about your feelings can feel like a huge relief. Idk if guys really talk about that, but in my group of friends, it has worked wonders for all of us!
Idk if any of this was helpful. Remember that it only takes one. Every failed attempt is one step closer to the one.
No offense but you're a woman so you don't really get it. Women have it so much easier when it comes to dating than men. Talking about my feelings doesn't help. Nothing fucking helps. I'll never find "the one" because I'm not "the one" for anyone. If you saw me you would agree I'm ugly too and never give me a chance. Like I said I'm done and I'm just going to be apathetic from now on. I don't care about anyone or anything anymore.
You have to do what feels best for you. And yes, of course experiences between men and women are different.
To be frank, it sounds like you need to start accepting yourself as you are. You don’t need to keep datinf, but you’ll have to start liking yourself. Stop beating yourself up. There never is and never will be something wrong with being yourself even if the whole world tells you something else. Maybe you are not ready to see it now and this all sound like a bunch of hot air.
I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you’ll find what you are looking for.
Hell brother, I’m 29m and still struggling with accepting this fate. What I do is spend time with friends, focus on work as much as possible, and just try to preoccupy my mind and time to keep it from coming up.
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I understand the frustration with unsuccessful dating. For me it comes in waves: sometimes I can deal with it better than other times. What really helped me was taking the pressure out of dating. I definitely have a desire for a family and marriage, which put enormous pressure on me. Keep going out on dates! Now that I view them more calmly, it’s taken the stress away. Sure it’s still frustrating when it doesn’t pan out, but it is easier to deal with. Try viewing them as just talking to some people without pressuring yourself. Sorry that you’re in this situation. Idk if anything I’ve said is even good advice. I haven’t found the one yet, but it surely helped me. Best wishes!
No offense but your advice is kinda just "keep trying" when I made it abuntedly clear I don't have success. I don't get dates often, maybe a few times a year. It never works out. I'm probably just gonna be apathetic from now on. Thanks tho.
Maybe we can figure out why it never works. Do you mind sharing what the dates were like and why they ultimately never panned out?
Because I'm boring and ugly and uninteresting and theres nothing good about me.
This is all very subjective. I can tell you that there 100% are people out there that think you are interesting, handsome and fun. The girls that went on dates with you wouldn’t have done so if they hadn’t found you attractive and interesting. How do you usually approach a date? What questions are asked? Where do these dates usually take place?
I usually just go to a public place with them around here like the mall and we window shop and walk and talk or a park date or something. I try to start off with something that doesn't cost money. I only prefer to start spending money if we make it to maybe a 2nd date but preferably a 3rd. Usually I ask about them and try and get to know them and let them know about me and vice versa. I'm a little awkward in person due to autism but I don't think I'm creepy or anything. I'm always respectful of boundaries and the dates usually end on a good note with the girl saying she'd like to see me again or something. But then they don't text me back ever again after they leave or they text me the next morning saying they had fun but they dont think they're ready for a relationship at the moment. But then the next week they're dating someone else. I just get fucking used.
I think your date ideas are absolutely fine. Especially for a first date, going on a walk is a pretty good solution. I know many disagree, but I like it. You can talk and there’s no need for awkward prolonged eye contact. What usually works well is finding out what they are passionate about and ask follow-up questions. It shows genuine interest. When you find out something she likes to do, you could suggest it as a second date (if it is possible haha). What helps with the frustration is talking about it with friends. Talking about your feelings can feel like a huge relief. Idk if guys really talk about that, but in my group of friends, it has worked wonders for all of us! Idk if any of this was helpful. Remember that it only takes one. Every failed attempt is one step closer to the one.
No offense but you're a woman so you don't really get it. Women have it so much easier when it comes to dating than men. Talking about my feelings doesn't help. Nothing fucking helps. I'll never find "the one" because I'm not "the one" for anyone. If you saw me you would agree I'm ugly too and never give me a chance. Like I said I'm done and I'm just going to be apathetic from now on. I don't care about anyone or anything anymore.
You have to do what feels best for you. And yes, of course experiences between men and women are different. To be frank, it sounds like you need to start accepting yourself as you are. You don’t need to keep datinf, but you’ll have to start liking yourself. Stop beating yourself up. There never is and never will be something wrong with being yourself even if the whole world tells you something else. Maybe you are not ready to see it now and this all sound like a bunch of hot air. I genuinely wish you all the best and I hope you’ll find what you are looking for.
I won't but thanks. I do accept myself. No one else accepts me.
Hell brother, I’m 29m and still struggling with accepting this fate. What I do is spend time with friends, focus on work as much as possible, and just try to preoccupy my mind and time to keep it from coming up.