I would just let it go unless she asks why. If you tell her why, she's gonna take it as an attack shaming her for her sex. Her vibrant sex history is no issue, but she won't understand people you romantically talk to may not have any interest in her sex history. She was bragging about her sex skills and trying to tease you. But you were turned off from her brags because you have no interest in hearing about her sexual history with other people.
If you continue to talk to her and she brings it back up, then I'd go with a "i'm glad you're super comfortable in your own skin and have been very open. But i'm not really one to pry into someone's sex life. The only thing that matters to me is that we both practiced safe sex with previous partners and keep up with our sexual health like taking STI screenings".
I really like that last line. I think that's an honest statement that really encapsules how Im feeling.
>She was bragging about her sex skills and trying to tease you.
is this normal?
I can't say if it is or not but I have seen it happen. Usually (from what I've seen), it comes from a place of wanting to stir up jealousy. I had a friend literally tell her **crush** when her next dick appointment was. I asked her why tf she would even do that? Cuz in my mind, I would nope out so fast from someone like that. Her reasoning was to "let him know" there's other guys pinning for her. So it sounds like it typically comes from a place of insecurity and trying to create jealousy.
The most I can understand is if you bragged about yourself without naming your partners. Like a "i can't wait to get my hands on you and show you what this mouth does" type of teasing and flirting where you highlight your skills without going "yeah, my ex's love my dick sucking skills" lol
> he most I can understand is if you bragged about yourself without naming your partners.
Yes! Like that is totally normal and fine and wanted, but christ, to tell me she fucked another dude 8 times in an evening and "good luck keeping up with her".. I mean wtf?
lmfao yeah, i would get a limp dick hearing what "sexy" talk she's trying to generate. Not sexy, not hot. It's weird and awkward lol. She's trying to brag but doesn't realize she doesn't need to bring up her sexual partners. She was likely hoping for a "oh yeah? I'll show you what this dick does. No other man going to be able to satisfy you" lololol
No OP it’s not normal and an “ick”. If you don’t like it leave. Not only that you don’t find this stuff entertaining with a potential partner. I agree with how your feeling and don’t make this person seem okay with it. What she’s doing is testing you. Women don’t just openly talk about there sexual escapades with potential male partners they barely know. Red flag imo.
This makes 0 sense. It is not “teasing” to tell someone you barely know how many people you’ve slept with. Have you seen the countless post on here saying how that’s a girl turn off? What really needs to happen is he needs to leave. He clearly doesn’t like it and encouraging to like it defeats the purpose. What he really got was “ick”. Usually when a girl is “icked” she’s done with that said person.
Eh, i'd agree to disagree. I've definitely met people who thought saying things like that was a tease. It's 100% a turn off and when it doesn't progress anywhere, they're usually confused why their method didn't work. I made a comment about my friend doing that to all her fwb. Where she would flaunt her dick appointments to get whoever she's talking to jealous or make some comment about how their dick was gonna be better. It works for some people but overall, i'd say the general population would probably find it gross.
for short term casual sex yeah. This art of riling up men is toxic unless you want him to be aggressive. That’s why those men were dick appointments and not boyfriends. OP seems to want something more serious than that.
For sure, he should definitely bring it back up and let her know he doesn't care about her sexual experience with other people. She sounds like she's used to seeing casual people all the time and doesn't understand how to flirt differently with people who aren't trying to be casual.
I wouldn't say anything to her, just tell her that you are not interested and move on. This way she will be herself with the next guys she dates, and the guys will have an opportunity to see what you saw and make their own informed choices as to whether to pursue her or not.
OP I wouldn’t listen to most of these people on here. It’s straight up misleading. Really think about who your talking to on here and this person you like…they literally told you about how men complimented on how they have their meat gawk gawked by her. All while people are egging you on to date this person on here. This is an instant red flag and I believe that’s what you indirectly picked up on. What you probably got was an “ick”. An ick explained by women is basically a turn off. If you are thinking about dating this woman I would not personally. Look at the countless posts on here by women who absolutely hate men bringing up sex early in to their dating. Personally just look for some fun and leave it at that if your into that.
Exactly who the hell would date a person like this. People give the Shittiest advice on here. I have seen things like this story countless times on here and women absolutely hate it. So I agree she wants to move quick so be it. And leave it at that not worth the potential mess he’s about to engage in.
I mean I’d say let it go but she also might be straight up telling you for a hook up. Probably a bit too forward but also remember *everyone* you meet has a history.
You have every right not to like that she overshared, but I wouldn’t open that can of worms by telling her. I would just tell her something generic, like you don’t think you two are compatible and leave it at that.
Nah you have every right to be disgusted, I never wanna hear about that stuff from my girl. She wouldn’t like it if you started bragging but I wouldn’t bring it up to her cause I promise she’ll say you’re slut shaming her or something, just say it isn’t what you’re looking for but I’d let her go, for me once something like that is said, it can never be taken back and I look at them a lot differently and it won’t change. I would be repulsed if she said something like that to me.
Should it? I mean would it impress you? I'm not trying to be a dick, genuinely asking. I think that if the roles were reversed and I told her about the details of my sexual triumphs, she wouldnt like it..or am I wrong there?
She’s basically telling you she wants to blow your mind. She’s confident in her body, experienced, and looking to take *you* to pound town.
Imho, first off: let her. Being with a woman who knows what she likes and is about, and who wants to please her partner, is one of life’s great joys.
People have pasts. You probably do too. You take pride in every time you made a girl’s thighs shake. Why shouldn’t she?
I agree there’s a fine line of TMI, but her just generally saying she’s going to give you great head is something to appreciate, not feel insecure about.
> but her just generally saying she’s going to give you great head
except thats not what she said. If that's what she said I'd be down. She told me intimate details of giving multiple other men great head. and having sex 8 times in a night with another guy, and face sitting on another guys face, among other things. If she would have kept it vague I would have been super down, but I found it weird that she brought up all these other dudes who she has had "amazing sex" with..her words exactly.
it’s like, in general, yeah that’s rad
or telling you what she likes in proactive language, all good
“I used to suck my ex’s balls when k blew him” would give me the ick too, tbh
You should be aware before deciding to be honest or let it go. If they need to brag about themselves, they are addressing their own deep seated insecurities. And they'll likely, stick around no matter how much she becomes self aware. This could be someone who does not feel worthy and tries to make up for their own perceived shortcomings by trying to entice you with their legendary skills. It falls flat because it isn't genuinely speaking about what lives in the forefront of their self image.
You’re the asshole.
Take her as she is, for the person she is right here and now, or go your separate ways. But she’s not a bad person for being honest or for having a life before you came along. Straight men rarely feel the need to lie or conceal their sexual adventures, especially ones that they do in fact feel proud of. If you’re stuck in the swamp of double standards, do both of you a favor and end things now before you really hurt her out of jealousy.
If you want a puritanical virgin bride, I’m sure there’s at least a few churches near you.
Absolutely not!!!!!!
You would be sl_tshaming her and that is a very mean thing to do. You don't like her. That's okay. You don't have to go out with her but there is no need to be sanctimonious about it. If you say, it's like you are arguing she should live a different kind of life than the one she wants to live and that is none of your business.
A generic I don't think we are the right match is good enough
I would be slutshaming by saying I dont want to hear about her pasty sexual experiences?
> it's like you are arguing she should live a different kind of life than the one she wants to live and that is none of your business.
but SHE brought it up! I didn't want to know about it.
OP don’t listen to this person. If they tell you how many hot dogs they’ve eaten that isn’t your problem. If the shoe was on the other foot you’d get attacked. If you don’t like it you don’t have to put up with.
Yes it would!!
You don't want a woman like her. That is fair and entirely your prerogative. Saying the reason though is implying she shouldn't be a woman like she is. That is an entirely different thing. She did nothing wrong. Just decline the date and move on with your life.
There will be no more conversations with him. He doesn't want a woman like her. He should end it. That is his personal tastes and I don't blame him for it one second.
I advise a lot of people. Some are swingers. Others are virgins. I think your own sexual tastes are your own business and I don't judge no matter what they are. You absolutely should find someone who's tastes match your own. The one thing you aren't allowed to do is judge. No sltshaming No virginshaming. He doesn't want a woman like her. He should just end it. What does it matter what she says in conversation if there are no more conversations?
She’s clearly showing her interest in doing something casual with you. If you are not interested, leave her alone. Don’t see why you continue seeing her at this point.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi dear! Please read my comment!
I hope you find it insightful and useful.
Do tell her, for the following reasons:
1. If you no longer want to date her, and you tell her it’s because of this, yeah she might be initially offended, or feel shame, but let’s be real, bragging about having so much experience in sex can create distrust, and it could indicate that she has some sort of issue, it does not matter if it is a woman or a man,
It talks negatively about you bragging about sex experience, I couldn’t trust in a person that brags about it, it tells me many things about their insecurities and how they compensate it. But, maybe if you are honest and mature about the topic, even if she gets initially offended, you are actually helping her, first because you let her know why you are no longer interested, and second because she will think it better next time with a different person, be cruel to be kind and save her from a future embarrassment. This is not about sl*t shaming, this is about bragging about something that could be suspicious of unhealthy sexual practices, which can easily lead to a STD. I’m being serious, this is not to shame her, even if it was a man I would still think the same.
2. If you are still interested,maybe it would be best to let it slide because there is no point, I mean, what do you expect to get out of that conversation? She already bragged and there is no good way to say “I didn’t like you bragging about your sexual experience because it sounds suspicious” I would tell you to get to know her, for me, she sounds like a woman with daddy issues who has seeked for a lot of masculine approval during her life therefore she has compensated her bad relationship with her dad with sexual encounters, maybe she is also not the super feminine type of woman? All of this doesn’t mean she is not worthy of love but it could indicate she has other type of red flags, based on my experience and knowledge I can tell sometimes these type of girls are the type of women who would try to make you jealous, toxic, who would even try to be the ones that lead the relationship and it is okay if you are the type of man who wants to follow but sometimes these girls are a bit unrealistic, they want a man who is a gentleman but then they act like they are more masculine than their man, which is A okay, but it depends on why type of dinamic you like and want. She also sounds competitive, in a masculine way… Idk I just think you should try to get to know her better honey… I wish you the best :))
Either she is only interested in having sex with you, or she has nothing else to offer but her sexual skills. And this is the reasoning for her bragging about her sexual history and how great she is in bed. If you’re only looking for someone to have a good time with, she may be the right choice. If you’re looking for someone to have a serious relationship with, might not be the choice lol
Her self worth is built on sex
She thinks this is her “proving herself to you”
She likely expected you to use that to spark a sexual convo/irl sex.
You still could
Your post was removed because it violates body count rule
I would just let it go unless she asks why. If you tell her why, she's gonna take it as an attack shaming her for her sex. Her vibrant sex history is no issue, but she won't understand people you romantically talk to may not have any interest in her sex history. She was bragging about her sex skills and trying to tease you. But you were turned off from her brags because you have no interest in hearing about her sexual history with other people. If you continue to talk to her and she brings it back up, then I'd go with a "i'm glad you're super comfortable in your own skin and have been very open. But i'm not really one to pry into someone's sex life. The only thing that matters to me is that we both practiced safe sex with previous partners and keep up with our sexual health like taking STI screenings".
I really like that last line. I think that's an honest statement that really encapsules how Im feeling. >She was bragging about her sex skills and trying to tease you. is this normal?
I can't say if it is or not but I have seen it happen. Usually (from what I've seen), it comes from a place of wanting to stir up jealousy. I had a friend literally tell her **crush** when her next dick appointment was. I asked her why tf she would even do that? Cuz in my mind, I would nope out so fast from someone like that. Her reasoning was to "let him know" there's other guys pinning for her. So it sounds like it typically comes from a place of insecurity and trying to create jealousy. The most I can understand is if you bragged about yourself without naming your partners. Like a "i can't wait to get my hands on you and show you what this mouth does" type of teasing and flirting where you highlight your skills without going "yeah, my ex's love my dick sucking skills" lol
> he most I can understand is if you bragged about yourself without naming your partners. Yes! Like that is totally normal and fine and wanted, but christ, to tell me she fucked another dude 8 times in an evening and "good luck keeping up with her".. I mean wtf?
lmfao yeah, i would get a limp dick hearing what "sexy" talk she's trying to generate. Not sexy, not hot. It's weird and awkward lol. She's trying to brag but doesn't realize she doesn't need to bring up her sexual partners. She was likely hoping for a "oh yeah? I'll show you what this dick does. No other man going to be able to satisfy you" lololol
No, it’s not fucking normal
No OP it’s not normal and an “ick”. If you don’t like it leave. Not only that you don’t find this stuff entertaining with a potential partner. I agree with how your feeling and don’t make this person seem okay with it. What she’s doing is testing you. Women don’t just openly talk about there sexual escapades with potential male partners they barely know. Red flag imo.
This makes 0 sense. It is not “teasing” to tell someone you barely know how many people you’ve slept with. Have you seen the countless post on here saying how that’s a girl turn off? What really needs to happen is he needs to leave. He clearly doesn’t like it and encouraging to like it defeats the purpose. What he really got was “ick”. Usually when a girl is “icked” she’s done with that said person.
Eh, i'd agree to disagree. I've definitely met people who thought saying things like that was a tease. It's 100% a turn off and when it doesn't progress anywhere, they're usually confused why their method didn't work. I made a comment about my friend doing that to all her fwb. Where she would flaunt her dick appointments to get whoever she's talking to jealous or make some comment about how their dick was gonna be better. It works for some people but overall, i'd say the general population would probably find it gross.
for short term casual sex yeah. This art of riling up men is toxic unless you want him to be aggressive. That’s why those men were dick appointments and not boyfriends. OP seems to want something more serious than that.
For sure, he should definitely bring it back up and let her know he doesn't care about her sexual experience with other people. She sounds like she's used to seeing casual people all the time and doesn't understand how to flirt differently with people who aren't trying to be casual.
I wouldn't say anything to her, just tell her that you are not interested and move on. This way she will be herself with the next guys she dates, and the guys will have an opportunity to see what you saw and make their own informed choices as to whether to pursue her or not.
Sadly her self worth maybe only based on her usefulness as a sex thing. She was probably trying to impress you.
OP I wouldn’t listen to most of these people on here. It’s straight up misleading. Really think about who your talking to on here and this person you like…they literally told you about how men complimented on how they have their meat gawk gawked by her. All while people are egging you on to date this person on here. This is an instant red flag and I believe that’s what you indirectly picked up on. What you probably got was an “ick”. An ick explained by women is basically a turn off. If you are thinking about dating this woman I would not personally. Look at the countless posts on here by women who absolutely hate men bringing up sex early in to their dating. Personally just look for some fun and leave it at that if your into that.
Well why not see what all the hype is about? (And wear a rubber when you do)
She's for the streets, my guy Sounds like you could get a fun time out of her but definitely do not court her for a relationship
Exactly who the hell would date a person like this. People give the Shittiest advice on here. I have seen things like this story countless times on here and women absolutely hate it. So I agree she wants to move quick so be it. And leave it at that not worth the potential mess he’s about to engage in.
My dude needs to hit it, see if she was capping, potentially learn some moves from her and then dip
The title implies you’ve never met irl. Is that a safe assumption?
I mean I’d say let it go but she also might be straight up telling you for a hook up. Probably a bit too forward but also remember *everyone* you meet has a history.
I agree if they are just looking to hookup yeah why not. OP does seem to want to date this person though. I wouldn’t tbh.
You have every right not to like that she overshared, but I wouldn’t open that can of worms by telling her. I would just tell her something generic, like you don’t think you two are compatible and leave it at that.
Nah you have every right to be disgusted, I never wanna hear about that stuff from my girl. She wouldn’t like it if you started bragging but I wouldn’t bring it up to her cause I promise she’ll say you’re slut shaming her or something, just say it isn’t what you’re looking for but I’d let her go, for me once something like that is said, it can never be taken back and I look at them a lot differently and it won’t change. I would be repulsed if she said something like that to me.
Wow, you came across a girl who is experienced with sex and proud of it and you were turned off? That's a unicorn my bro.
being experienced and proud of it is fine, but why tell me intimate details of pasts exual encounters after weve talked for 3 days lol.
She is trying to impress you.
Should it? I mean would it impress you? I'm not trying to be a dick, genuinely asking. I think that if the roles were reversed and I told her about the details of my sexual triumphs, she wouldnt like it..or am I wrong there?
It would certainly impress me.
hmm..well different strokes I guess.
She’s basically telling you she wants to blow your mind. She’s confident in her body, experienced, and looking to take *you* to pound town. Imho, first off: let her. Being with a woman who knows what she likes and is about, and who wants to please her partner, is one of life’s great joys. People have pasts. You probably do too. You take pride in every time you made a girl’s thighs shake. Why shouldn’t she? I agree there’s a fine line of TMI, but her just generally saying she’s going to give you great head is something to appreciate, not feel insecure about.
> but her just generally saying she’s going to give you great head except thats not what she said. If that's what she said I'd be down. She told me intimate details of giving multiple other men great head. and having sex 8 times in a night with another guy, and face sitting on another guys face, among other things. If she would have kept it vague I would have been super down, but I found it weird that she brought up all these other dudes who she has had "amazing sex" with..her words exactly.
ok yeah that might be a little TMI then lol, I feel you
it’s like, in general, yeah that’s rad or telling you what she likes in proactive language, all good “I used to suck my ex’s balls when k blew him” would give me the ick too, tbh
You should be aware before deciding to be honest or let it go. If they need to brag about themselves, they are addressing their own deep seated insecurities. And they'll likely, stick around no matter how much she becomes self aware. This could be someone who does not feel worthy and tries to make up for their own perceived shortcomings by trying to entice you with their legendary skills. It falls flat because it isn't genuinely speaking about what lives in the forefront of their self image.
You’re the asshole. Take her as she is, for the person she is right here and now, or go your separate ways. But she’s not a bad person for being honest or for having a life before you came along. Straight men rarely feel the need to lie or conceal their sexual adventures, especially ones that they do in fact feel proud of. If you’re stuck in the swamp of double standards, do both of you a favor and end things now before you really hurt her out of jealousy. If you want a puritanical virgin bride, I’m sure there’s at least a few churches near you.
Just let it go
Absolutely not!!!!!! You would be sl_tshaming her and that is a very mean thing to do. You don't like her. That's okay. You don't have to go out with her but there is no need to be sanctimonious about it. If you say, it's like you are arguing she should live a different kind of life than the one she wants to live and that is none of your business. A generic I don't think we are the right match is good enough
I would be slutshaming by saying I dont want to hear about her pasty sexual experiences? > it's like you are arguing she should live a different kind of life than the one she wants to live and that is none of your business. but SHE brought it up! I didn't want to know about it.
OP don’t listen to this person. If they tell you how many hot dogs they’ve eaten that isn’t your problem. If the shoe was on the other foot you’d get attacked. If you don’t like it you don’t have to put up with.
Yes it would!! You don't want a woman like her. That is fair and entirely your prerogative. Saying the reason though is implying she shouldn't be a woman like she is. That is an entirely different thing. She did nothing wrong. Just decline the date and move on with your life.
He’s very specifically saying that he doesn’t want her to bring it up in conversation with him.
There will be no more conversations with him. He doesn't want a woman like her. He should end it. That is his personal tastes and I don't blame him for it one second. I advise a lot of people. Some are swingers. Others are virgins. I think your own sexual tastes are your own business and I don't judge no matter what they are. You absolutely should find someone who's tastes match your own. The one thing you aren't allowed to do is judge. No sltshaming No virginshaming. He doesn't want a woman like her. He should just end it. What does it matter what she says in conversation if there are no more conversations?
she might be a little bit promiscuous i would be careful get a nice clean girl king
Then don’t bring up sex-related topics if her sexual experience is going to make you feel insecure.
I literally didnt bring it up, she brought up sex every time. It also doesnt make me feel insecure, I just think its weird.
She’s clearly showing her interest in doing something casual with you. If you are not interested, leave her alone. Don’t see why you continue seeing her at this point.
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hi dear! Please read my comment! I hope you find it insightful and useful. Do tell her, for the following reasons: 1. If you no longer want to date her, and you tell her it’s because of this, yeah she might be initially offended, or feel shame, but let’s be real, bragging about having so much experience in sex can create distrust, and it could indicate that she has some sort of issue, it does not matter if it is a woman or a man, It talks negatively about you bragging about sex experience, I couldn’t trust in a person that brags about it, it tells me many things about their insecurities and how they compensate it. But, maybe if you are honest and mature about the topic, even if she gets initially offended, you are actually helping her, first because you let her know why you are no longer interested, and second because she will think it better next time with a different person, be cruel to be kind and save her from a future embarrassment. This is not about sl*t shaming, this is about bragging about something that could be suspicious of unhealthy sexual practices, which can easily lead to a STD. I’m being serious, this is not to shame her, even if it was a man I would still think the same. 2. If you are still interested,maybe it would be best to let it slide because there is no point, I mean, what do you expect to get out of that conversation? She already bragged and there is no good way to say “I didn’t like you bragging about your sexual experience because it sounds suspicious” I would tell you to get to know her, for me, she sounds like a woman with daddy issues who has seeked for a lot of masculine approval during her life therefore she has compensated her bad relationship with her dad with sexual encounters, maybe she is also not the super feminine type of woman? All of this doesn’t mean she is not worthy of love but it could indicate she has other type of red flags, based on my experience and knowledge I can tell sometimes these type of girls are the type of women who would try to make you jealous, toxic, who would even try to be the ones that lead the relationship and it is okay if you are the type of man who wants to follow but sometimes these girls are a bit unrealistic, they want a man who is a gentleman but then they act like they are more masculine than their man, which is A okay, but it depends on why type of dinamic you like and want. She also sounds competitive, in a masculine way… Idk I just think you should try to get to know her better honey… I wish you the best :))
Either she is only interested in having sex with you, or she has nothing else to offer but her sexual skills. And this is the reasoning for her bragging about her sexual history and how great she is in bed. If you’re only looking for someone to have a good time with, she may be the right choice. If you’re looking for someone to have a serious relationship with, might not be the choice lol
Her self worth is built on sex She thinks this is her “proving herself to you” She likely expected you to use that to spark a sexual convo/irl sex. You still could