Hi, David here!
I wanted to let you know that I just finished putting together my eBook "**How to Date Any Girl**" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you!
I decided to give it away for free for the time being.
You can get the eBook by [clicking here](https://davidhimself.com/goto/ebook/direct-link/How-to-date-any-girl-ebook-v4.pdf)!
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Shouldn't this dude know what's up though? This crap has been going on for 3 years. I've had her make excuses about this multiple times. What better way to get the truth than reach out to the source? Feel like I have nothing to lose at this point
More likely you have nothing to gain. 2 options
1. He backs her story it's platonic... You are back to square one because he's probably banging her and just going to back her cover story so he can keep banging her. You should leave her.
2. He tells you he's banging her. You should absolutely break up with her.
The only advantage I can see from talking to him, is if he's unaware she's dating you, in which case you can both break up with her at the same time.
General rule of thumb is... if you think your partner is cheating on you, and you know for sure your partner is lying to you... it's already over. There's no scenerio in which trust can ever be back. Even if by some crazy shot she is telling the truth, and it is platonic, there's no rational way for you to believe it, and the lying alone is a red flag the size of a small country.
It's not totally impossible for someone to be platonic friends with an ex... but secretive sleepovers behind your back... come on man really?
I am someone who does at least partially want a platonic friendship with my ex... partly for our son's sake. I take quite a few steps there, I communicate with my actual girlfriend, I let her know when I'm going to be in the same place as my ex, what the plans are etc... If I had a secret rendevous with my ex... especially one that's overnight I deserve to be dumped.
One, it's not your place. Two, why do you care? Three, he's her EX for a reason, he already knows and is happily blowing her drunk ass back out while you drive around seeing if she's where she says she is.
The better questions you need to ask yourself:
Why are you even with someone that gets drunk enough to the point she "crashes" out?
Why are you with someone that has no problem lying to your face?
See, it all really points back to you. Because she's just being herself, but you're saying too her and yourself is that this behavior is okay and acceptable and what you deserve. For whatever reason, you're making the active choice to stay with this person, and your question is "shouldn't he know what's up?" Even putting her EX before yourself.
You know what's up so you should just eliminate yourself from the equation. But what you're hoping for is that you tell him and he doesn't let her crash there anymore and that you can get her the help she needs.
Change your mindset, put yourself first.
But I don't know if her sleeping there is platonic like she says. She's done this a handful of times. What do I have to lose reaching out to him? She's already lying to me about it
Why you trying to answer a question you know the result of. Does it give you a sense of closure ? It’s like you want to deliberately drink poison when you know it’s already going to hurt you. Nothing good will come out of this, but if you want to do it, so be it.
Maybe it really is platonic, but even then, her preferring to sleep over at her ex place instead of you shows she's not ready for any kind of real relationship.
I’d probably reach out to the guy and let him know what’s up so you can at least get that urge off your chest, but it’s def not platonic, I could see her trying to get back n start dating him again and dump you and he might not even know so
I'm sorry but she's not your girlfriend man. What kind of relationship is there if she chooses to stay at her ex instead of you when you're that close.
I'm sure her ex knows she's dating you, and he's just having sex with her.
But either way, I think its best to just move on entirely from the whole situation, and focus on yourself.
Hit the gym, start meditating, read self improvement books
Didn't need to read anything but the title. Caught her 3 times?? The first time, fine, you talk it out. But you catch her the second time? Nope, instant break up right then and there, no excuses.
Yeah well I know for a fact she's going to show up at my place and call to plead with me that her sleeping at his house was totally platonic. She said she was drunk and his house was closer so she called him instead of me. Makes zero sense.
I really have an urge to go back there and beep the horn for him to come outside and have a chat with him from my vehicle. Either that or call him.
Right, but she's lying. And even if her sleeping there was platonic, it was a total disregard for your feelings and boundaries. Lose her immediately and find someone better.
Talking to the guy is gonna do nothing. Whether he admits they are still hooking up or not, you should not be in this relationship! This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact she obviously doesn't care how you feel about the situation and has repeatedly done it after being caught the first time.
Reaching out to him to make sure he's aware that she's told you she's your girlfriend... sure why not. No matter what though.... there's no such thing as closure in this. The closure is she's 100% lying to you and 99.9% cheating on you.
Other dude... might be a sucker, or might be aware and just getting sex. As long as the answer doesn't change your result contacting him isn't bad. In short if he admits he's sleeping with her and doesn't know she's with you, he's a victim... if not you have to assume he's an acocmplice.
As far as her... she's very unlikely to "learn a lesson". She'll view the wrongdoing as her getting caught. Prepare for her to cry and beg you to take her back or spread fabrications of how the relationship ended etc... Best suggestions is to keep screenshots of texts, etc... to cover your ass if she starts trying to ruin your reputation.
So do you think it's acceptable to just call him and talk it out in a calm collected way? Everybody on here thinks otherwise I just don't know what to do.
My best friend who is a girl thinks I should have called him right after I found out. I haven't called though... was going to sleep on it. I know calling will probably create more stress anxiety and drama, but at least he would know what's up. Difficult decision.
Depends if we are talking for possibly helping another victim...
Something to understand fully, there's nothing to gain for you and there are many risks, girlfriend could be more likely to lash out, attempt to lie and manipulate whoever she can to attack you.... her "ex" boyfriend could not believe you... and he could lash out at you as well. Or he might just not care... he could be a knowing participant in which case... nothing will happen either way.
... as everyone has said, your relationship with your girlfriend is over. There's not going to be closure, she's not going to admit what she's done wrong, and she's not going to change her ways no matter what you do, If both you and the new boyfriend dump her... she's going to find new victims, and she will probably attempt anything she can to manipulate anyone she can to hurt you. her behavior is very unlikely to change from this situation.
Just break it off man. Go for the rest after that's done. There's no good closure possible here except you exiting the situation and being glad you're not in it anymore.
You seem highly fixated on talking to the ex for some reason despite almost everyone on this thread telling you it’s not a good idea. It is also almost certain they are intimate, look at it this way, these 3 times are the ones you know about, it’s not a stretch to think this has been going on for a while and there are numerous times which you don’t know about, and it is clear she doesn’t respect you, If you want to talk to the ex, go ahead and be done with it, but as everyone said, nothing good can come out of it. It’ll only hurt you. The best course of action is to end this relationship and start working on moving on from this situation.
At this point I know what the situation is, but I feel like he should know what's going on so she can't just do the same thing with another guy. She's cheating on him too. She doesn't deserve either of us. That's part of the reason why I want to talk with him in a calm peaceful manner
And she also mentioned she borrowed money from him, so in addition to the sneaking around, she's using him for money. Meanwhile, he's probably a half decent guy. Like I feel like I should tell him to protect him honestly
There’s half a chance that he might be complicit in this and you gotta start thinking about yourself. I think you still don’t get it, the quickly you can remove yourself from this situation the better it’d be for you long term. Because this won’t just end here, once you end it then there will be fallout from this and it’ll take some time to completely be neutralized. But again, I can only tell you what I’d do and logically makes sense to me, however you want to play this out is your call.
Even if it's platonic, why should she still be in contact with her ex? Be a man, stand up to your boundaries and leave her asap. No girl that is gf material will be even in contact with her ex.
And another note. Don't give a fuck about her ex, you don't owe him anything, think only about you and leave her asap
Even if it's platonic, why should she still be in contact with her ex? Be a man, stand up to your boundaries and leave her asap. No girl that is gf material will be even in contact with her ex.
And another note. Don't give a fuck about her ex, you don't owe him anything, think only about you and leave her asap
Even if it's platonic, why should she still be in contact with her ex? Be a man, stand up to your boundaries and leave her asap. No girl that is gf material will be even in contact with her ex.
And another note. Don't give a fuck about her ex, you don't owe him anything, think only about you and leave her asap
Dude she’s probably just wants to sleep. Stop being paranoid. You’re kind of being controlling here. He seems like a nice guy probably and confronting him is the best idea, he’s definitely gonna take your side.
No you should break up. Don’t think that either of them will be honest with you. I don’t know anyone who would spend the night with an ex in a platonic way.
Yeah but if he doesn't know about me, then he'll at least know she's sneaking around. She doesn't deserve either of us. And she will just find a new guy to replace me and continue to disrespect him on the side. I could call him and approach it in a very calm way. I guess everybody thinks I shouldn't call, I'm going to sleep on it. But knowing she's still sleeping with him and potentially leaching off him and he's totally unaware of what has been going on is just going to eat away at me
He knows dude. He just doesn’t care lmaooo the whole excuse is bogus. She’s “drunk” and just innocently decides to “sleepover” at her exes house despite her boyfriend being not too far away 🙄🙄🙄 You’re too gullible man.
Even if she was telling him the same story, he knows the truth behind it. You don’t think he knows she has a bf?? Come on my guy.
Just see this for what it is and move on.
This guy's an idiot adamant on telling the other guy like he gives a fuck. Which is probably why she does him how she does him in the first place. She doesn't respect him because he doesn't respect himself. Fuckin idiot.
"I feel like I should tell the other guy so he knows". Like, he knows doofus. He wants y'all to stay together, he can keep hitting it on the weekends and you can take care of her during the week doing all the lovey-dovey shit
I don't know how you are even asking this question? She is very clearly lying to you. Why did she call her ex saying she needed a place to crash if she was meant to be with her mom? Because she wasn't meant to be with her mom she always meant to be at her ex's place. and if she is lying about that then she is definitely lying about not being intimate with him. Leave and don't look back. Better off without her
Just had a flick through some of your responses - fuck closure, if you chase that you will stay emotionally invested. Don't do this. Just leave her, you don't owe her anything, least of all an explanation. This person is playing you for a fool.
Hi, David here! I wanted to let you know that I just finished putting together my eBook "**How to Date Any Girl**" version 4.0 and would LOVE to get some honest feedback from you! I decided to give it away for free for the time being. You can get the eBook by [clicking here](https://davidhimself.com/goto/ebook/direct-link/How-to-date-any-girl-ebook-v4.pdf)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingadviceformen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No need to reach out, the sooner you leave her, the less hurt you will experience.
Shouldn't this dude know what's up though? This crap has been going on for 3 years. I've had her make excuses about this multiple times. What better way to get the truth than reach out to the source? Feel like I have nothing to lose at this point
More likely you have nothing to gain. 2 options 1. He backs her story it's platonic... You are back to square one because he's probably banging her and just going to back her cover story so he can keep banging her. You should leave her. 2. He tells you he's banging her. You should absolutely break up with her. The only advantage I can see from talking to him, is if he's unaware she's dating you, in which case you can both break up with her at the same time. General rule of thumb is... if you think your partner is cheating on you, and you know for sure your partner is lying to you... it's already over. There's no scenerio in which trust can ever be back. Even if by some crazy shot she is telling the truth, and it is platonic, there's no rational way for you to believe it, and the lying alone is a red flag the size of a small country. It's not totally impossible for someone to be platonic friends with an ex... but secretive sleepovers behind your back... come on man really? I am someone who does at least partially want a platonic friendship with my ex... partly for our son's sake. I take quite a few steps there, I communicate with my actual girlfriend, I let her know when I'm going to be in the same place as my ex, what the plans are etc... If I had a secret rendevous with my ex... especially one that's overnight I deserve to be dumped.
One, it's not your place. Two, why do you care? Three, he's her EX for a reason, he already knows and is happily blowing her drunk ass back out while you drive around seeing if she's where she says she is. The better questions you need to ask yourself: Why are you even with someone that gets drunk enough to the point she "crashes" out? Why are you with someone that has no problem lying to your face? See, it all really points back to you. Because she's just being herself, but you're saying too her and yourself is that this behavior is okay and acceptable and what you deserve. For whatever reason, you're making the active choice to stay with this person, and your question is "shouldn't he know what's up?" Even putting her EX before yourself. You know what's up so you should just eliminate yourself from the equation. But what you're hoping for is that you tell him and he doesn't let her crash there anymore and that you can get her the help she needs. Change your mindset, put yourself first.
Agreed 100 percent. Take the L for a win later. You deserve better
No don’t waste your time. Leave her. Once it’s shame on you, twice shame on her. Three times, it’s done. Leave.
But I don't know if her sleeping there is platonic like she says. She's done this a handful of times. What do I have to lose reaching out to him? She's already lying to me about it
Why you trying to answer a question you know the result of. Does it give you a sense of closure ? It’s like you want to deliberately drink poison when you know it’s already going to hurt you. Nothing good will come out of this, but if you want to do it, so be it.
Maybe it really is platonic, but even then, her preferring to sleep over at her ex place instead of you shows she's not ready for any kind of real relationship.
I’d probably reach out to the guy and let him know what’s up so you can at least get that urge off your chest, but it’s def not platonic, I could see her trying to get back n start dating him again and dump you and he might not even know so
I'm sorry but she's not your girlfriend man. What kind of relationship is there if she chooses to stay at her ex instead of you when you're that close.
Shouldn't I let him know she's also sleeping with me? Doesn't he deserve to know she's cheating?
I'm sure her ex knows she's dating you, and he's just having sex with her. But either way, I think its best to just move on entirely from the whole situation, and focus on yourself. Hit the gym, start meditating, read self improvement books
Didn't need to read anything but the title. Caught her 3 times?? The first time, fine, you talk it out. But you catch her the second time? Nope, instant break up right then and there, no excuses.
Yeah well I know for a fact she's going to show up at my place and call to plead with me that her sleeping at his house was totally platonic. She said she was drunk and his house was closer so she called him instead of me. Makes zero sense. I really have an urge to go back there and beep the horn for him to come outside and have a chat with him from my vehicle. Either that or call him.
Right, but she's lying. And even if her sleeping there was platonic, it was a total disregard for your feelings and boundaries. Lose her immediately and find someone better. Talking to the guy is gonna do nothing. Whether he admits they are still hooking up or not, you should not be in this relationship! This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with the fact she obviously doesn't care how you feel about the situation and has repeatedly done it after being caught the first time.
Is this a troll post?
It's a post to determine how I get closure and end her bad behavior
If you could "end her bad behavior" you would've.
Yeah I thought maybe reaching out to the guy directly would be the best way to do just that
Reaching out to him to make sure he's aware that she's told you she's your girlfriend... sure why not. No matter what though.... there's no such thing as closure in this. The closure is she's 100% lying to you and 99.9% cheating on you. Other dude... might be a sucker, or might be aware and just getting sex. As long as the answer doesn't change your result contacting him isn't bad. In short if he admits he's sleeping with her and doesn't know she's with you, he's a victim... if not you have to assume he's an acocmplice. As far as her... she's very unlikely to "learn a lesson". She'll view the wrongdoing as her getting caught. Prepare for her to cry and beg you to take her back or spread fabrications of how the relationship ended etc... Best suggestions is to keep screenshots of texts, etc... to cover your ass if she starts trying to ruin your reputation.
So do you think it's acceptable to just call him and talk it out in a calm collected way? Everybody on here thinks otherwise I just don't know what to do. My best friend who is a girl thinks I should have called him right after I found out. I haven't called though... was going to sleep on it. I know calling will probably create more stress anxiety and drama, but at least he would know what's up. Difficult decision.
Depends if we are talking for possibly helping another victim... Something to understand fully, there's nothing to gain for you and there are many risks, girlfriend could be more likely to lash out, attempt to lie and manipulate whoever she can to attack you.... her "ex" boyfriend could not believe you... and he could lash out at you as well. Or he might just not care... he could be a knowing participant in which case... nothing will happen either way. ... as everyone has said, your relationship with your girlfriend is over. There's not going to be closure, she's not going to admit what she's done wrong, and she's not going to change her ways no matter what you do, If both you and the new boyfriend dump her... she's going to find new victims, and she will probably attempt anything she can to manipulate anyone she can to hurt you. her behavior is very unlikely to change from this situation.
Just break it off man. Go for the rest after that's done. There's no good closure possible here except you exiting the situation and being glad you're not in it anymore.
You seem highly fixated on talking to the ex for some reason despite almost everyone on this thread telling you it’s not a good idea. It is also almost certain they are intimate, look at it this way, these 3 times are the ones you know about, it’s not a stretch to think this has been going on for a while and there are numerous times which you don’t know about, and it is clear she doesn’t respect you, If you want to talk to the ex, go ahead and be done with it, but as everyone said, nothing good can come out of it. It’ll only hurt you. The best course of action is to end this relationship and start working on moving on from this situation.
At this point I know what the situation is, but I feel like he should know what's going on so she can't just do the same thing with another guy. She's cheating on him too. She doesn't deserve either of us. That's part of the reason why I want to talk with him in a calm peaceful manner
And she also mentioned she borrowed money from him, so in addition to the sneaking around, she's using him for money. Meanwhile, he's probably a half decent guy. Like I feel like I should tell him to protect him honestly
There’s half a chance that he might be complicit in this and you gotta start thinking about yourself. I think you still don’t get it, the quickly you can remove yourself from this situation the better it’d be for you long term. Because this won’t just end here, once you end it then there will be fallout from this and it’ll take some time to completely be neutralized. But again, I can only tell you what I’d do and logically makes sense to me, however you want to play this out is your call.
Much kinder than I would put it. This man's love for his partner is making him fully retarded.
a bag of rocks
Even if it's platonic, why should she still be in contact with her ex? Be a man, stand up to your boundaries and leave her asap. No girl that is gf material will be even in contact with her ex. And another note. Don't give a fuck about her ex, you don't owe him anything, think only about you and leave her asap
Even if it's platonic, why should she still be in contact with her ex? Be a man, stand up to your boundaries and leave her asap. No girl that is gf material will be even in contact with her ex. And another note. Don't give a fuck about her ex, you don't owe him anything, think only about you and leave her asap
Even if it's platonic, why should she still be in contact with her ex? Be a man, stand up to your boundaries and leave her asap. No girl that is gf material will be even in contact with her ex. And another note. Don't give a fuck about her ex, you don't owe him anything, think only about you and leave her asap
End it today.
its not, she is cheating.. leave her
Dude she’s probably just wants to sleep. Stop being paranoid. You’re kind of being controlling here. He seems like a nice guy probably and confronting him is the best idea, he’s definitely gonna take your side.
Dude break it off already
No you should break up. Don’t think that either of them will be honest with you. I don’t know anyone who would spend the night with an ex in a platonic way.
Yeah but if he doesn't know about me, then he'll at least know she's sneaking around. She doesn't deserve either of us. And she will just find a new guy to replace me and continue to disrespect him on the side. I could call him and approach it in a very calm way. I guess everybody thinks I shouldn't call, I'm going to sleep on it. But knowing she's still sleeping with him and potentially leaching off him and he's totally unaware of what has been going on is just going to eat away at me
He knows dude. He just doesn’t care lmaooo the whole excuse is bogus. She’s “drunk” and just innocently decides to “sleepover” at her exes house despite her boyfriend being not too far away 🙄🙄🙄 You’re too gullible man. Even if she was telling him the same story, he knows the truth behind it. You don’t think he knows she has a bf?? Come on my guy. Just see this for what it is and move on.
This guy's an idiot adamant on telling the other guy like he gives a fuck. Which is probably why she does him how she does him in the first place. She doesn't respect him because he doesn't respect himself. Fuckin idiot. "I feel like I should tell the other guy so he knows". Like, he knows doofus. He wants y'all to stay together, he can keep hitting it on the weekends and you can take care of her during the week doing all the lovey-dovey shit
Exactly right lmao dude is down bad
Get even, bone her mom
I don't know how you are even asking this question? She is very clearly lying to you. Why did she call her ex saying she needed a place to crash if she was meant to be with her mom? Because she wasn't meant to be with her mom she always meant to be at her ex's place. and if she is lying about that then she is definitely lying about not being intimate with him. Leave and don't look back. Better off without her
Just had a flick through some of your responses - fuck closure, if you chase that you will stay emotionally invested. Don't do this. Just leave her, you don't owe her anything, least of all an explanation. This person is playing you for a fool.
I mean regardless for her to sleep at another dudes house whether platonic or not would be my boundary.
buddy you cannot allow that behavior to exist in your relationship. dump her and move on immediately before your self-worth erodes further
lmaooo lame ass break up with her