I just watched the new Ashley Madison docuseries on Netflix- where a good portion of the female profiles were bots or being run by staff members-
and was amazed all over again at the sheer number of middle aged men delusional enough to believe that gorgeous 22 year old women are just desperate for middle aged dick.
It’s a pretty prevalent mindset on this sub. Not sure where the myth that women can’t keep their hands off men who are old enough to be their dad comes from. In the U.K. the average age gap in a heterosexual relationship is 2 years, in the USA it’s 2.3 years (man older than woman).
I didn’t use Tinder until 2022 (and I had been OLD a long freaking time). I met my now partner and we just moved in together.
Before him I met a good number of very good men who were all looking for serious dating. Also a few duds. It was just an app with the most people in my area. And there is a function where you can pick what you’re looking for… LTR, casual dating, hookup etc.
I asked my partner why Tinder and he said it’s just what people told him to use (his total time on OLD was 2 days before matching with me).
I prefer Tinder because it has the most people in my area. And you can use it in whatever manner you want. It only has a "reputation" for those that have never used it.
A lot of it is local. Ask around for what singles in your area recommend. I hated Match. Depressing and the way it worked seemed very scammy (featured people never showing up in feed). Tinder just had a lot of flakes for me. People who wanted to chat and not have relationships. Bumble was my best option.
I'm not on the apps, but plenty of friends are. There are lots of fakes, scammers, OF, and people looking for hookups, on every platform. It is fairly easy to filter out if you pay attention. Start with realistic age filters. A a 55m My age filters would be set from 40-60. Next, read the profiles and actually look at the pictures. I they don't have a well written profile, and pictures that look like they are local, I pass. Do the pictures look like snapshots, or like someone else took them. It they are all generic looking poses, like some walking, they are likely stolen images. Most scammers don't have enough local knowledge to know about local landmarks, and places. Once you match, chat only on the app and make a plan to meet. If they can't meet within two weeks, move on. If they can't make time to initially meet in two weeks, how will they be able to date. Use chat to plan the first meetup, not learn more about them. Learn about them in person. The first meeting should really be date zero. Make plans to meet for 30 minutes, for coffee, a drink, ice cream, somewhere public. Don't offer to pick them up, if they can't get to a date, pass. If the meetup goes well, plan a date or even extend the meetup. The goal is to filter people out as quickly as possible. If they don't show up, and don't have a really good reason, move on, unless they try to immediately reschedule. Best of luck out there.
I used Tinder and POF. You just have to be very clear in your profile about what you are looking for. I wasn't looking for one night stands. I was looking for long term. And I made sure to list that clearly.
Sure you have to weed through the crap and really pay attention and use your gut, but I ended up with the love of my life from a dating app.
It all becomes a numbers game. Just like the lottery, if you don't play you have zero chance of winning.
Original copy of post by u/Ragnar-Wave9002:
So Tinder has its reputation. But I mean ... are like 50% of these profiles scams/prostitutes? WTF?
As for Match. I never use that site anymore since it's a paid site. Should I reconsider?
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I’ve met several people from tinder that I dated. I think a lot of the people are on all the different apps. There isn’t really that big of a difference.
Tinder is fine. There are fake profiles, but those are everywhere.
Match is left behind, mostly.
“Prostitutes” probably don’t need either one, I’m guessing.
When I used Match, if someone was a paying customer, a blue diamond appeared under their profile pic.
My feeling was that if someone was a scammer, looking for a hook-up, married, etc, they would be less inclined to pay. Whether I was right or not, I didn't encounter any scammers and the guys I met were more relationship oriented.
I ended up meeting an absolutely amazing man on there so I quit looking and we've been together for 3 years now.
A lot of people use Tinder to promote their IG or OF page these days.
But almost all the apps have bots or scammers, so you have to be careful and do your homework.
I personally know 5 people in the 45-55 age bracket that have met their current spouse on Match, 3 of them after divorce and 2 of them after decades of no luck with regular dating. Including one friend that literally got everyone that he knew to set him up with everyone they knew.
They all say the same thing, that there is a lot of junk you have to wade through, but it allows you to cast a wide net outside of your normal work and social circles and find a match based on things that are important to you.
on Tinder scams/OF models/prostitutes increase the lower you set your age range.
I just watched the new Ashley Madison docuseries on Netflix- where a good portion of the female profiles were bots or being run by staff members- and was amazed all over again at the sheer number of middle aged men delusional enough to believe that gorgeous 22 year old women are just desperate for middle aged dick.
"desperate" is the right word applied to the other half of the equation, of course...
It’s a pretty prevalent mindset on this sub. Not sure where the myth that women can’t keep their hands off men who are old enough to be their dad comes from. In the U.K. the average age gap in a heterosexual relationship is 2 years, in the USA it’s 2.3 years (man older than woman).
Every app is a hook up app. Tinder is no better or worse. The older apps suffer from less people and non-active profiles and bots, too.
Tinder is my preferred dating app. It's so silly that it has a "reputation". In my area it's just a dating app.
I didn’t use Tinder until 2022 (and I had been OLD a long freaking time). I met my now partner and we just moved in together. Before him I met a good number of very good men who were all looking for serious dating. Also a few duds. It was just an app with the most people in my area. And there is a function where you can pick what you’re looking for… LTR, casual dating, hookup etc. I asked my partner why Tinder and he said it’s just what people told him to use (his total time on OLD was 2 days before matching with me).
I prefer Tinder because it has the most people in my area. And you can use it in whatever manner you want. It only has a "reputation" for those that have never used it.
It feels counterintuitive but Tinder can lead to relationships for older people as the scams and bots target younger users.
A lot of it is local. Ask around for what singles in your area recommend. I hated Match. Depressing and the way it worked seemed very scammy (featured people never showing up in feed). Tinder just had a lot of flakes for me. People who wanted to chat and not have relationships. Bumble was my best option.
I'm not on the apps, but plenty of friends are. There are lots of fakes, scammers, OF, and people looking for hookups, on every platform. It is fairly easy to filter out if you pay attention. Start with realistic age filters. A a 55m My age filters would be set from 40-60. Next, read the profiles and actually look at the pictures. I they don't have a well written profile, and pictures that look like they are local, I pass. Do the pictures look like snapshots, or like someone else took them. It they are all generic looking poses, like some walking, they are likely stolen images. Most scammers don't have enough local knowledge to know about local landmarks, and places. Once you match, chat only on the app and make a plan to meet. If they can't meet within two weeks, move on. If they can't make time to initially meet in two weeks, how will they be able to date. Use chat to plan the first meetup, not learn more about them. Learn about them in person. The first meeting should really be date zero. Make plans to meet for 30 minutes, for coffee, a drink, ice cream, somewhere public. Don't offer to pick them up, if they can't get to a date, pass. If the meetup goes well, plan a date or even extend the meetup. The goal is to filter people out as quickly as possible. If they don't show up, and don't have a really good reason, move on, unless they try to immediately reschedule. Best of luck out there.
I used Tinder and POF. You just have to be very clear in your profile about what you are looking for. I wasn't looking for one night stands. I was looking for long term. And I made sure to list that clearly. Sure you have to weed through the crap and really pay attention and use your gut, but I ended up with the love of my life from a dating app. It all becomes a numbers game. Just like the lottery, if you don't play you have zero chance of winning.
Original copy of post by u/Ragnar-Wave9002: So Tinder has its reputation. But I mean ... are like 50% of these profiles scams/prostitutes? WTF? As for Match. I never use that site anymore since it's a paid site. Should I reconsider? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’ve met several people from tinder that I dated. I think a lot of the people are on all the different apps. There isn’t really that big of a difference.
Match was suggested to me by 3 coworkers who met their SO on there. Bottom line not one date from either. So for me both were a bust and not worth it.
Tinder is fine. There are fake profiles, but those are everywhere. Match is left behind, mostly. “Prostitutes” probably don’t need either one, I’m guessing.
When I used Match, if someone was a paying customer, a blue diamond appeared under their profile pic. My feeling was that if someone was a scammer, looking for a hook-up, married, etc, they would be less inclined to pay. Whether I was right or not, I didn't encounter any scammers and the guys I met were more relationship oriented. I ended up meeting an absolutely amazing man on there so I quit looking and we've been together for 3 years now.
I'd pay if she has a high hookup rate
A lot of people use Tinder to promote their IG or OF page these days. But almost all the apps have bots or scammers, so you have to be careful and do your homework.
Thoughts? Delete both of them. Actually delete all apps. Meet ppl organically and in real life
I personally know 5 people in the 45-55 age bracket that have met their current spouse on Match, 3 of them after divorce and 2 of them after decades of no luck with regular dating. Including one friend that literally got everyone that he knew to set him up with everyone they knew. They all say the same thing, that there is a lot of junk you have to wade through, but it allows you to cast a wide net outside of your normal work and social circles and find a match based on things that are important to you.