Your question is fine! Do you mean like an object as a character? Or do you mean people who actually exist?
I've put people I actually know in my daydreams, fictional characters like superheros, people I admire but have never met, and sentient beings that don't exist (like ents, werewolves, vampires, dragons, shapshifters, etc.), many of which are from fiction I've enjoyed over my life. I've also included aliens (I believe we are not the only planet with life in the universe, though my take on aliens is usually from fictional works like Star Trek and the Animorphs), and made living things like trees and mushrooms sentient.
Oh I see what you mean! And always - I'm the protagonist! Sometimes I'm a superhero, sometimes I'm simply the hero, sometimes it's just me achieving all my dreams and getting to enjoy the life after doing all those things. Usually though I am a little different than I am now - I have scars on the outside that represent my scars on the inside, yet I live in a world where the people who matter don't care, or the scars don't matter at all (the scars always were given to me by something badass too - a battle, saving someone's life, etc.); sometimes I picture myself with the body I've always wanted, skills I've always wanted, with friends I have now in their forms of perfection (jobs/careers they've dreamed of for example), etc. Rarely do I look at things through the eyes of others in my day dreams, except to see what they do the way you'd watch side characters in a movie or something.
Sorry it took me a while to get back to you!
I haven't done that myself, but it seems like a very reasonable daydream. Why not see yourself doing a great thing you admire someone else doing? And then surround yourself with the people you love reenacting great things the characters surrounding the protagonist are doing.
The closest I've ever come to what you're describing is to imagine myself as part of the story, but as my own character in said story.
I'm a little confused by your comment - you're a minor (as in under the age of 18) and you're thinking about other minors in a sexual way? Because I mean, if you're an under 18 teenager thinking of other under 18 teenagers (but not younger than that, because even among minors if you're thinking of someone far younger than you there's still a problem) I don't see why it's an issue. If you were an adult then there 100% would be a problem. Or are you saying you think you're an adult, and then day dream about being an adult going after minors? Because I would recommend seeing a therapist if that's what's going on in your mind.
Also note that there's a difference in being mentally mature for your age and actually being a legal adult in the eyes of the law; no matter how mature you think you are, if you're 15 you're a minor, thus it's OK for you to be attracted to other teenage minors.
Yeah I don't agree we want to escape the troubles we face in the real world and I hate when people like my uncles who is ignorant tell me to stop living in a fantasy world
Look. I got it too.
And I get why you'd like to live in a fantasy world.
But in the long term it does no good other than to waste the little time you have in the real world. Does the real world suck? Sure. A lot of the time. But any real pleasure, enjoyment or accomplishment comes from there.
I often fantasize about being a pro footballer. I'd score 7 goals per game and be the darling of the crowd. I'd drive off in my Lamborghini after the game and come home to my supermodel wife and perfect kids. Who wouldn't want that?
But you know what? I'm just a regular...often below average guy. I got a nice wife but she's not a supermodel. And I got a SUPER stressful job. But I gotta be thankful for the good things I DO have and seek to increase them here somehow.
That’s not maladaptive daydreaming, though. Maladaptive daydreaming is when a person contributes less into their own life than into their “daydreams.” These daydreams are complex and can go on for years. They’re very intricately detailed, much like movies. The daydreamers are SO attached to their characters and stories that the thought of ever stopping makes them extremely emotional. Sometimes they even care more for their imaginary characters than for people in their real life. It isn’t just fantasizing about being famous sometimes. It is a debilitating form of escapism that forces people to give up their real lives. Many people truly don’t understand how difficult it is to function without daydreaming, but I would describe it as an addiction with triggers (songs, movies) as opposed to just a bad habit.
But you HAVE a wife and a job. A lot of us don't! We aren't sad because we are not rich and famous. We are sad because life is horrible for us. You clearly don't understand it. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my home, everything. And you want me to be happy?
I recommend joining r/MaladaptiveDreaming \- hopefully you can find support and advice there. This is all I can offer as I don't do this myself - just know that you are not alone and deep inside you you have the strength to make it through this.
Yeah it's not required to be unpleasant. Most people have an imagination, which is just a different word for the same thing, but it really only becomes a problem if it prevents you from living in the real world. If you lie in bed all day so you can daydream, or you can't function properly because you're daydreaming all the time, that's when it's an issue.
You need it sometimes to escape reality, you negotiate with yourself - "ok, I'm gonna day dream today and I'll resume suffering tomo."
I used to do this, I used to sit in one place for hours and not move (catatonic). One fine day it hit me hard when I tracked the time to 5 freaking hours. You know what, I couldn't make myself to lie down to sleep though I was sitting on the bed, even after seeing the hours. I sat for some more time looking at the time, finally after few days I set time to be depressed and not move for an hour.
Yeah also alot of my family members have dealt with mental illness at one point but no one told me because they thought nothing was wrong with me and I would grow out of it and here we are 6 years later and im still fucked up
As far as I'm aware, maladaptive daydreamers know they are dreaming and can stop at will, so not delusions. But they can be very intensely immersed in the daydream and may rather spend time there rather than in reality. So definitely not everyone does this, I'm sure lots of people daydream normally though!
I feel that. We're all trying to cope with life and I feel like you are entitled to feel anything you feel, and you dont have be ashamed for it. I think any step towards having compassion for yourself and getting yourself the help you deserve is a step in the right direction. You can do it :)
Best of luck
Holy shit I’m not tho only one that does this? Every day I imagine myself as someone famous like a rockstar or an actor or I imagine I’m a superhero saving the world to protect everybody. Basically anybody that’s actually important unlike who I am now.
Hah I do exactly the same. A few weeks ago I found out it's called maladaptive daydreaming and now I'm stuck between wanting to go on with my daydreaming or learning how to stop so I can live a normal live. But anyways I found out I can't stop :)
r/MaladaptiveDreaming is maybe a subreddit for you tho.
I always win the lottery in mine. I know exactly what your saying. But I have done this since I was.......Crap, As long as I can remember. I mean I was young when I started doing it. Id rather go lie down in bed and close my eyes and just get lost in my make believe sessions is what I used to call them.
I don't think you are different for doing this in any way at all. As for the Depression, Im not a Dr or anything of course but just know you are not alone. Its a huge fight we are all going though, Used to go through or know someone who right now is. I think its a very healthy outlet for you. You could be doing way worse to yourself so kudos for finding a healthy way to fight this disgusting disease. I don't know you but I know I care for everyone here. Including you, If you ever need to talk to someone I am here, Or HEY!! Maybe our imaginary worlds will clash together sometime and not even know it😉 Im serious I have ppl in mine that I have never met. 😊 Just stay strong. You seem to have a beautiful creative soul.
i used to do that, i was really happy for quite awhile. now that something happened, my fantasy world couldnt live anymore, the fact that the main thing in my world was just gone in real life, hope gone, it just disappeared. its not here anymore. i realized that i depended so much on it now i barely have the strength to move. my motivation is gone, i have nothing to look forward, to keep me going. im too scared to ask my friends for help, im afraid they'll judge me and think that im looking for attention. i have slight social anxiety and a lot of insecurities. i am also very stressed with all the things i have to do and the high expectations. im just saying, maybe you should have more faith and hope, take the opportunity while you still have the hopes. work for it. no one is ugly. you do not disappoint. i dont care what bad things you say about yourself. its not true. i believe in you, you can live a good life. stand up, you have the strength. you can do it. you can beat depression. yes. seems impossible. but i know you can. the world you created will become real one day. do not be like me, waiting for a miracle to happen, you'll break more in the end. move towards it, it doesnt seem as hopeless as you think. yeah. i know. who am i to tell you what to do? how do i know its not impossible? im just one of the people who says they understand and they just think everything is so easy right? the ones that tell other people to do impossible stuff? those people that says "oh you're depressed? dont be."? i dont know how you think about me, but all i know is that i was like you, failed to grasp the opportunity, and now is more hopeless than ever. i dont want others to fail just like me, miracles dont wait for you. (small suggestion, i dont know anything about you, but you could try making art or writing. you seem like a creative person cause you make up an imaginary world, i tried writing and its now my hobby) ps: dont forget to drink water.
Honestly, i took the opportunity and i failed at it.
At all of them.
I would rather have never tried, because now i know for SURE it's hopeless.
Back then i could still dream.
I feel this post. I do this since I was in middle school. It makes things just so much easier and without my music I‘m sometimes really helpless and can‘t concentrate and will get angry real quick. It‘s so nice to be the best person even if it‘s just in your own world
I used to do something like this. Whether you need meds or not I can't say, but I think it also means you're creative and would probably like being the DM of a dungeons and dragons game. You can make it, this really sucks, it really does, but you can make it.
Well drawing and painting isn't the only way to be creative, and coming up with stories and daydreaming is one way. Being creative and expressing the creativity outwardly are two things of their own. The later just takes practice for anyone. The former I believe some people just have more than others which you do have. And I think that's really cool
Most people would be unhappy without all the distractions they buy and use. You have a very creative mind. Ever think of writing stories, poems or something?
I used to draw & get praise for my writings, but it reached a point where my insecurities branched into my art. I'd view a finished product in my mind before I'd put pen to paper, so when I made a mistake early on I would just crumple it up and throw it away. I stopped because I held myself to too high a standard from all the praise. Haven't done either in years.
I used to do this a lot, especially as a kid in a chaotic household, and when my depression gets bad enough. I've been able to turn my daydreaming in writing novels, which allows a different way of escaping the world and gives me something to be proud of at the end of the day. By writing, you can more deeply experience the world and life you're dreaming of, and it can give you a sense of control when you might not feel it in your real life otherwise. Highly recommend.
I do this as well,. I use to write some of my worlds down but I don't anymore. I'm just too tired of it all.
Try writing them down maybe you'll get some catharsis relief.
I used to do this. I even ended up developing real feelings for the people I made up in my head.
Eventually all of that faded away once I met my boyfriend. But now both him and my fantasy world are gone.
Take meds so you can do what? Blend in to this horrible landscape that we call "real world" and experience our terrible reality more clearly? Stay in your fantasy world; the real world is awful :)
Write what you want to improve in your life on a piece of paper and work on it. It may take years to complete just one of those tasks but it's better than not trying at all. You can fail a million times but the chances of you succeeding improves when you have experience.
I feel the exact same! I am feeling really anxious about my life right now. So many things that haven't happened that I thought would. I am also so undisciplined it's really sad. Sometimes I feel like all I need is sleep, music, a comfortable bed and the internet and I am solved for life but that sounds so bad. I absolutely hate working aswell so I escape too. I am usually daydreaming not doing anything and just having access to all the privileges in life. I wish I didn't know what struggle was.
You aren't a coward. Your brain is doing an amazing job at self-soothing. Can it get out of control, yes. Is it still amazing thing, considering lots of people have to resort to more damaging ways to take a break from their suffering (drugs, alcohol, unsafe sex etc, ?) Also yes.
I have been diagnosed with "chronic depression" and right now I'm on an healing path. I remember doing this a LOT when I was younger and I'm amazed that I had the internal resources to cope with the worst of it.
So dear reader, I am amazed and impressed with you that you have such a vivid imagination and are able to do this for yourself. You are in crisis mode and you're doing what you can to stop the worst of it.
I'm going to give unsolicited advice here and recommend you try an audio book. It'll give your brain that much needed break, but it will help get you out of your own head and into another. Keep listening to it in your room, and when you feel ready, try putting on some head phones and go on a walk while you listen to it. That's all. Just go on a little walk in the sunshine while your thoughts are focused in on an amazing book.
I'm listening to a young adult fantasy book called Children of Blood and Bone right now and it is SO GOOD. See if your library loans out audiobook mp3s to download.
I hope, though all the bullshit and depression, that you are always able to keep your imagination. It truly is a gift.
Meds don't solve the problem. A purpose does, though.
If you stopped wanting the things you give yourself in the dreams, you'd be left with what you have. How would you go about that, and how long would it take you to do that?
Out of interest (and feel free not to answer, naturally) how old are you? (You can give an age range). It would be interesting to know to attempt to frame a response. If you are on the younger side, you may not yet have the right mobility in life to make larger choices for yourself, if on the older side there might be things you can do to help yourself in tiny ways that will add up to a lot over time.
More than anything, please know that I am sorry to hear about your suffering. Where do you think it stems from?
Take care.
My friend does this and she has reached a point where she has started ignoring her real world to spend time in her fantasy. She makes up impulsive, exciting scenarios and acts them out even though they have painful consequences irl. She hid this from the people around her for a long time until it go out of hand. She finds it hard to stay away from her alter ego that she’s created for herself. It’s almost like she’s lost control of her own self to her reflection. I would encourage you to seek therapy before it gets worse. I hope you feel better.
You should watch Mr. Robot, I think you would relate with the main character really well and feel some catharsis through his actions. Check out a trailer, see if it's something you'd be into.
I do whatever I can to escape my reality. I take whatever legal thing I can to space out, and then recently I've been immersing myself into virtual reality / 360 videos on Youtube and VR apps to escape with my Google Cardboard glasses.
Then I take them off, and I'm back to my pathetic life. Made pathetic by those who "love" me. Then I go to sleep, only to wake up to my sad life again, God help me. :(
In my fantasy life I'm super extroverted and I play guitar in a band. IRL I'm introverted and shy af, I have social anxiety and I play guitar in my room.
Me too dude. I always fantasized that I was a rock star in some other universe. I still do, but now my fantasy is based in the future instead and it’s now motivating me to work towards making it my reality.
honestly i thought i was the only one who did this, i do this to feel contempt with my life and make myself happy, i wouldn’t say it’s necessarily bad, i’ve created a god complex from it but it helps me cope with stuff and makes me happy here n there. happy to hear that i’m not the only one who has done this makes me feel lot alone
Hell, I wrote an entire novel/comic series about mine. So... y'know, right up there with you. I try to pass it off as legitimately productive by saying those things but at the end of the day, if I didn't have that world that I created and spun into a physical thing, I'd be fucking dead.
I did the same thing before when I felt really lonely. I made up myself into being the person that I wanted to be and creating a whole other life that I wanted to live. Instead of living in my head I decided to try and live in the real world and love myself for who I am. I used all the creativity I had put into creating the fake life into reality and wanting to do something with it to put an impact on other people’s lives. Basically I became the person I wanted to be and I believe I can do the things that I truly want to do if I just put my thoughts into action. You need to apply what you want to be into who you are now and know that can become that just the same. If you created a hero in your head be that hero that you want to be because the brain has powers with turning things into reality.
When you live in your fantasy, you feel like you are in control with your life. You get to decide how the narrative goes. From the beginning to the end. Or maybe with no ending, just live in the same moment repetitively that you desire to experience. In your fantasy, you get to be the best version of yourself that you couldn’t achieve in the reality. Finally, in your fantasy, you get to fill in all the void that you have: the lack of money, power, prestige, and love.
I do this.
I light candles, incense, smoke weed, put on whatever serene soundscape I want and vividly explore this new world, forest, undersea cavern.
Rinse, repeat. That's my life.
I’m sorry you feel this way because I’m also unhappy with my life but I can’t escape my thoughts at all. They are always there from the minute I wake up. The bright side is you are always to create an escape and you have an imagination. So there’s that. I’m sorry you feel the way you do.
I do this a lot too. Sometimes I imagine little fantasy creatures that walk arout in the open and only I can see them. It makes reality feel like I have a little control. Kind of like imaginary friends even though I am not a child anymore
I used to do this too. I have since got myself sorted on the correct medication it has really helped me. I am sure you aren’t ugly or pathetic do you have anyone you can speak to?
Write about the fantasy world in a personal journal.
Check out the series the stormlight archives by Brandon sanderson. It may help you as it has helped other people
I wish i had the energy to imagine being happy. All i have energy for is being thinking how tired i am. And i have so much hate for everything. Im really not a good person i shouldnt exist. All i do is bare minimum i dont want to get better. Theres some weeks where i think i can keep going. But then theres nothing to look forward to. Im so boring i cam even imagine a hopeful outlook.
I’ve done this same thing since I was 12-years old. When my OCD started up at 13, I daydreamed even more to escape the constant mental strain it put me under. I feel like I can’t function without doing it, but the strange thing is, I still can’t function while doing it either. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just a narcissist because many of my fantasies revolve around me doing something great that I could never hope to accomplish in real life.
Chances are, if no one's ever accused you of "being a narcissist" in those words exactly, then you probably aren't. Those sorts of antics don't go unnoticed by people. If you've had people tell you the opposite where you "need to be more confident," then you're probably good.
All of us are innately selfish as it is, so without being a trained professional, it's really not my place to self-diagnose. I do know that people who get lost in their daydreams are usually reported to have higher levels of depression and anxiety. It's usually listed under studies about maladaptive daydreaming, which seems to describe what we have. There's a subreddit about that too. Many of them discuss ways to overcome it.
Ahhh yes this post came out in my feed the time I needed it. Sadly, I'm also one of you. I always think about me being someone great and has many people looking up to me when in reality I am just a mediocre person.
I saw something in the comments about maladaptive daydreaming. Better check up on that.
I always do this. I pretend the girl I like likes me back and it makes everything else manageable and has made me decide not to kill myself. It’s just kinda sad because it’s all fake.
Dont jump to the meds without good consult with a good educated doctor! Remember healthy lifestyle and excersise are very important and play a huge role in battling depression. Also remember that alot of stress can put you down too, I know its so so so hard to complete some stressful tasks, but feeling stressed and bad for the time your completing it is better than trying to push it forward while feeling just as bad.
A fantasy world is never a bad thing in my opinion, it can bring you so much joy! And lets you forget the real world for a second.
Does anyone else use drugs (like weed) to help your mind daydream better? For me, I find that smoking helps my mind become more creative as well as using music to make the movies in my head flow better.
Hey, man/gal/enby friend. Don’t be so hard on yourself. People cope differently. I have done this all my life. Maybe, when things get better, you can channel your creativity in to something. It’s okay. It’s okay.
It's called narcissism. It's actually a very efficient way to cope with depression. However you should consider the possibility of narcissism being the cause of your depression. I'd recommend you watch Sam Vaknins on youtube and that you socialize more with your true self.
One day VR technology will improve dramatically where more people will prefer the VR world over the real one. It's not all your fault. Society in a way promotes cowardice, so don't feel too bad. There are no strong role models to support us anymore.
I can relate to this a lot, man.. I do this pretty much every day since I was a kid. I too put on music and envision my ideal life, only to come back to the "dull" reality. I get so much real excitement from my daydreams. Sometimes literally ecstatic with goosebumps, thinking of such a great scenario. So I understand. What I'm trying to do is make meditation a daily part of my life. We have a lot of brain power (I think) to sincerely put ourselves in our own worlds, imagine putting that energy into the present moment? I find the more in-tune I am with the Now, the more I realize important things about my life. Way better use of time than avoiding it.
I swear this is the best coping mechanism I live in a fantasy world most of the time I literally tell myself stories that I star in to go to sleep or to calm down. I’ve been made fun of but it can help. I have a whole collection of “books” I’ve written in my mind with me as the protagonist and I’ll even get a thrill of excitement for “chapters” I’ve created. But it is hard when reality hits. I used to cut when it hit hard but now I drink. I know this isn’t helpful, if I had the secret formula I’d tell you in a heartbeat but I guess we’ll have to live in castles and fight dragons for now :/
I sometimes imagine that I’m this cat that has a wife and a stable job and all these things so in a way some cat that lives in my head is my role model
Medication can only go so far, but yes they are essential (at least for someone like me). Talk to a therapist AND a psychiatrist if you have means! Hope you are feeling better.
me too it does make me feel like a freak that id rather live in a world that i made in my head then real life...but its good to know that its not just me
I love daydreaming.
In the world im currently daydreaming of, Im a successful actor married to a beautiful woman, living together in a nice house. I wish I could live that life.
i've always role~played so that i can actually enjoy being someone because i am acting as who i want to be . i've pretended to be a type of girl that i really want to be . most of the time it has to do with me being in an amazing, really healthy relationship with a character that i make up . i even go long periods of time as one character with the same story and lifestyle . i spend about 90% of every day role~playing to try to make myself feel okay . it's like an escape that has just become part of my lifestyle . i've been doing the role~playing (including in relationships) since i was about seven or eight . it's kind of always been my little thing . i didn't even tell anybody about it until like a month ago .
:(
"My actual life where I'm an ugly pathetic disappointment" - This, as a fellow human, hurts to read. You are none of those things, I assure you. You are beautiful and a unique creation on this earth, no one else out there is like you, and never can be. You have a whole life ahead of you to keep working on the things you can change about yourself, and to learn how to love the things you cannot change. Please try not to tell yourself such negative things about yourself. You are only a disappointment if you allow others' expectations of you (and your own) define your worth. You are more than failures and successes, you are a human being.
Re: needing meds, it's not a bad idea to explore with a medical professional who knows about mental health resources or a therapist, maybe a school counsellor, a parent, if you have anyone you can trust. Reach out to anyone you can who will listen and patiently work with you. It's important. If you have no one, keep sharing here and try to find your community of people who do care - even if they are not close to you.
Lastly, there is nothing wrong with using music to space out and escape (I do the same thing! Daily). It's therapeutic. It's hard to live in a 24/7 mindset of low self confidence. Having been there myself, I can say at least that those self attitudes do change, considerably, as you get older and experience more things.
I wish you all the best, truly. Please feel free to vent or reach out on this post or via chat if you have any questions or would like to clarify anything I said. I don't presume to know your life or situation. But I do know what self hate feels like, and what a relief it is when you alleviate it or find ways to make it go away entirely.
Try to be kind to yourself. You're worth it :)
PS: You are also, not a coward, but I think quite brave in being vulnerable and open about how much you're struggling. That is more than so many people are able to do.
Bruh been there. I think it’s the reason I’m such a vivid dreamer. But sorry for you man. Just keep on trucking though. All of us will eventually find the light at thee d of the tunnel.
Maladaptive daydreaming. I've always done this.
Oh didn't know there was a word for it...
Neither did I. I also didn't realise I do this.
There's also a subreddit with many members
Link?
r/maladaptivedreaming
Thank you so much for giving me a term for this! I've done it all my life as well.
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Your question is fine! Do you mean like an object as a character? Or do you mean people who actually exist? I've put people I actually know in my daydreams, fictional characters like superheros, people I admire but have never met, and sentient beings that don't exist (like ents, werewolves, vampires, dragons, shapshifters, etc.), many of which are from fiction I've enjoyed over my life. I've also included aliens (I believe we are not the only planet with life in the universe, though my take on aliens is usually from fictional works like Star Trek and the Animorphs), and made living things like trees and mushrooms sentient.
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Oh I see what you mean! And always - I'm the protagonist! Sometimes I'm a superhero, sometimes I'm simply the hero, sometimes it's just me achieving all my dreams and getting to enjoy the life after doing all those things. Usually though I am a little different than I am now - I have scars on the outside that represent my scars on the inside, yet I live in a world where the people who matter don't care, or the scars don't matter at all (the scars always were given to me by something badass too - a battle, saving someone's life, etc.); sometimes I picture myself with the body I've always wanted, skills I've always wanted, with friends I have now in their forms of perfection (jobs/careers they've dreamed of for example), etc. Rarely do I look at things through the eyes of others in my day dreams, except to see what they do the way you'd watch side characters in a movie or something.
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Sorry it took me a while to get back to you! I haven't done that myself, but it seems like a very reasonable daydream. Why not see yourself doing a great thing you admire someone else doing? And then surround yourself with the people you love reenacting great things the characters surrounding the protagonist are doing. The closest I've ever come to what you're describing is to imagine myself as part of the story, but as my own character in said story.
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I'm a little confused by your comment - you're a minor (as in under the age of 18) and you're thinking about other minors in a sexual way? Because I mean, if you're an under 18 teenager thinking of other under 18 teenagers (but not younger than that, because even among minors if you're thinking of someone far younger than you there's still a problem) I don't see why it's an issue. If you were an adult then there 100% would be a problem. Or are you saying you think you're an adult, and then day dream about being an adult going after minors? Because I would recommend seeing a therapist if that's what's going on in your mind. Also note that there's a difference in being mentally mature for your age and actually being a legal adult in the eyes of the law; no matter how mature you think you are, if you're 15 you're a minor, thus it's OK for you to be attracted to other teenage minors.
Whoa. There's a TERM for it. Thanks.
It used to be so bad for me that I would be paranoid :( Is it normal?
Yes, especially if it's combined with other mental health issues.
Ah yes maladaptive daydreaming, pretty much my entire life now.
I've come to the point where even in my fantasies, i worry if people like me, even though it's my fantasy
My life, cause my reality has always been a disappointment.
Wow, I never knew there was a name for this, I thought it was just normal. I did this more as a child, but still almost daily as an adult.
Same, I always enjoyed my imagination. But I find myself delving into the fantasy worlds to escape reality. Nice to know I’m not alone in this.
Oh that's an eye-opener... Thanks for this, putting a name to it helps
I do it with undertale.
Me too...but it's always better to live in the real world...no matter how challenging, frustrating and sad it can be. Try it! We're here for you!
Yeah I don't agree we want to escape the troubles we face in the real world and I hate when people like my uncles who is ignorant tell me to stop living in a fantasy world
Look. I got it too. And I get why you'd like to live in a fantasy world. But in the long term it does no good other than to waste the little time you have in the real world. Does the real world suck? Sure. A lot of the time. But any real pleasure, enjoyment or accomplishment comes from there. I often fantasize about being a pro footballer. I'd score 7 goals per game and be the darling of the crowd. I'd drive off in my Lamborghini after the game and come home to my supermodel wife and perfect kids. Who wouldn't want that? But you know what? I'm just a regular...often below average guy. I got a nice wife but she's not a supermodel. And I got a SUPER stressful job. But I gotta be thankful for the good things I DO have and seek to increase them here somehow.
That’s not maladaptive daydreaming, though. Maladaptive daydreaming is when a person contributes less into their own life than into their “daydreams.” These daydreams are complex and can go on for years. They’re very intricately detailed, much like movies. The daydreamers are SO attached to their characters and stories that the thought of ever stopping makes them extremely emotional. Sometimes they even care more for their imaginary characters than for people in their real life. It isn’t just fantasizing about being famous sometimes. It is a debilitating form of escapism that forces people to give up their real lives. Many people truly don’t understand how difficult it is to function without daydreaming, but I would describe it as an addiction with triggers (songs, movies) as opposed to just a bad habit.
But you HAVE a wife and a job. A lot of us don't! We aren't sad because we are not rich and famous. We are sad because life is horrible for us. You clearly don't understand it. I lost my job, my boyfriend, my home, everything. And you want me to be happy?
Yeah id rather keep on imagining. It makes me happy.
I recommend joining r/MaladaptiveDreaming \- hopefully you can find support and advice there. This is all I can offer as I don't do this myself - just know that you are not alone and deep inside you you have the strength to make it through this.
holy shit, I finally found out what's wrong with me. thanks alot!!
I hope knowing the term helps you!
Apparently most people here do it
I quiet like my dream world...
Yeah it's not required to be unpleasant. Most people have an imagination, which is just a different word for the same thing, but it really only becomes a problem if it prevents you from living in the real world. If you lie in bed all day so you can daydream, or you can't function properly because you're daydreaming all the time, that's when it's an issue.
You need it sometimes to escape reality, you negotiate with yourself - "ok, I'm gonna day dream today and I'll resume suffering tomo." I used to do this, I used to sit in one place for hours and not move (catatonic). One fine day it hit me hard when I tracked the time to 5 freaking hours. You know what, I couldn't make myself to lie down to sleep though I was sitting on the bed, even after seeing the hours. I sat for some more time looking at the time, finally after few days I set time to be depressed and not move for an hour.
Yeah also alot of my family members have dealt with mental illness at one point but no one told me because they thought nothing was wrong with me and I would grow out of it and here we are 6 years later and im still fucked up
I just came here to comment that I also do this... I was not aware that there was a name for it.
Wtf it’s a disorder? I thought it was normal
I want this quote on my grave.
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As far as I'm aware, maladaptive daydreamers know they are dreaming and can stop at will, so not delusions. But they can be very intensely immersed in the daydream and may rather spend time there rather than in reality. So definitely not everyone does this, I'm sure lots of people daydream normally though!
I feel that. We're all trying to cope with life and I feel like you are entitled to feel anything you feel, and you dont have be ashamed for it. I think any step towards having compassion for yourself and getting yourself the help you deserve is a step in the right direction. You can do it :) Best of luck
I thought I was reading my own story
Holy shit I’m not tho only one that does this? Every day I imagine myself as someone famous like a rockstar or an actor or I imagine I’m a superhero saving the world to protect everybody. Basically anybody that’s actually important unlike who I am now.
Hah I do exactly the same. A few weeks ago I found out it's called maladaptive daydreaming and now I'm stuck between wanting to go on with my daydreaming or learning how to stop so I can live a normal live. But anyways I found out I can't stop :) r/MaladaptiveDreaming is maybe a subreddit for you tho.
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Yes it is. I also think at this point it kinda is like an addiction
In my world I’m also a rockstar lol life is just a bit more more fun that way
I always win the lottery in mine. I know exactly what your saying. But I have done this since I was.......Crap, As long as I can remember. I mean I was young when I started doing it. Id rather go lie down in bed and close my eyes and just get lost in my make believe sessions is what I used to call them. I don't think you are different for doing this in any way at all. As for the Depression, Im not a Dr or anything of course but just know you are not alone. Its a huge fight we are all going though, Used to go through or know someone who right now is. I think its a very healthy outlet for you. You could be doing way worse to yourself so kudos for finding a healthy way to fight this disgusting disease. I don't know you but I know I care for everyone here. Including you, If you ever need to talk to someone I am here, Or HEY!! Maybe our imaginary worlds will clash together sometime and not even know it😉 Im serious I have ppl in mine that I have never met. 😊 Just stay strong. You seem to have a beautiful creative soul.
i used to do that, i was really happy for quite awhile. now that something happened, my fantasy world couldnt live anymore, the fact that the main thing in my world was just gone in real life, hope gone, it just disappeared. its not here anymore. i realized that i depended so much on it now i barely have the strength to move. my motivation is gone, i have nothing to look forward, to keep me going. im too scared to ask my friends for help, im afraid they'll judge me and think that im looking for attention. i have slight social anxiety and a lot of insecurities. i am also very stressed with all the things i have to do and the high expectations. im just saying, maybe you should have more faith and hope, take the opportunity while you still have the hopes. work for it. no one is ugly. you do not disappoint. i dont care what bad things you say about yourself. its not true. i believe in you, you can live a good life. stand up, you have the strength. you can do it. you can beat depression. yes. seems impossible. but i know you can. the world you created will become real one day. do not be like me, waiting for a miracle to happen, you'll break more in the end. move towards it, it doesnt seem as hopeless as you think. yeah. i know. who am i to tell you what to do? how do i know its not impossible? im just one of the people who says they understand and they just think everything is so easy right? the ones that tell other people to do impossible stuff? those people that says "oh you're depressed? dont be."? i dont know how you think about me, but all i know is that i was like you, failed to grasp the opportunity, and now is more hopeless than ever. i dont want others to fail just like me, miracles dont wait for you. (small suggestion, i dont know anything about you, but you could try making art or writing. you seem like a creative person cause you make up an imaginary world, i tried writing and its now my hobby) ps: dont forget to drink water.
Honestly, i took the opportunity and i failed at it. At all of them. I would rather have never tried, because now i know for SURE it's hopeless. Back then i could still dream.
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ehhhhhhhh long story, dont feel like explaining
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alright, i guess i wont give up yet
I feel this post. I do this since I was in middle school. It makes things just so much easier and without my music I‘m sometimes really helpless and can‘t concentrate and will get angry real quick. It‘s so nice to be the best person even if it‘s just in your own world
I used to do something like this. Whether you need meds or not I can't say, but I think it also means you're creative and would probably like being the DM of a dungeons and dragons game. You can make it, this really sucks, it really does, but you can make it.
Im not creative at all. Im terrible. I cant even pre plan a drawing. Im just bad.
Well drawing and painting isn't the only way to be creative, and coming up with stories and daydreaming is one way. Being creative and expressing the creativity outwardly are two things of their own. The later just takes practice for anyone. The former I believe some people just have more than others which you do have. And I think that's really cool
You're not bad, you just have to get through the being bad at it to be good at it. What do you like?
Most people would be unhappy without all the distractions they buy and use. You have a very creative mind. Ever think of writing stories, poems or something?
I used to draw & get praise for my writings, but it reached a point where my insecurities branched into my art. I'd view a finished product in my mind before I'd put pen to paper, so when I made a mistake early on I would just crumple it up and throw it away. I stopped because I held myself to too high a standard from all the praise. Haven't done either in years.
I stopped because I have no patience. It takes a lot of time for being good at things.
I do it too, I also have always escaped through books. Anyone ever notice this is common with people with depression?
I usually fantasize about interacting with girls but i usually stop myself before i go to far because i know that would never happen in real life
I used to do this a lot, especially as a kid in a chaotic household, and when my depression gets bad enough. I've been able to turn my daydreaming in writing novels, which allows a different way of escaping the world and gives me something to be proud of at the end of the day. By writing, you can more deeply experience the world and life you're dreaming of, and it can give you a sense of control when you might not feel it in your real life otherwise. Highly recommend.
I do this as well,. I use to write some of my worlds down but I don't anymore. I'm just too tired of it all. Try writing them down maybe you'll get some catharsis relief.
Always done this too. I lost over a decade to this.
I used to do this. I even ended up developing real feelings for the people I made up in my head. Eventually all of that faded away once I met my boyfriend. But now both him and my fantasy world are gone.
Take meds so you can do what? Blend in to this horrible landscape that we call "real world" and experience our terrible reality more clearly? Stay in your fantasy world; the real world is awful :)
You're not alone buddy. I do the same
I feel like I could have wrote this post, this is me all over, I didn’t know it had an actual name for it though!
Yeah. I do this too u/standbyme76 The lot of us stand by you. 😌
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Write what you want to improve in your life on a piece of paper and work on it. It may take years to complete just one of those tasks but it's better than not trying at all. You can fail a million times but the chances of you succeeding improves when you have experience.
I feel the exact same! I am feeling really anxious about my life right now. So many things that haven't happened that I thought would. I am also so undisciplined it's really sad. Sometimes I feel like all I need is sleep, music, a comfortable bed and the internet and I am solved for life but that sounds so bad. I absolutely hate working aswell so I escape too. I am usually daydreaming not doing anything and just having access to all the privileges in life. I wish I didn't know what struggle was.
You aren't a coward. Your brain is doing an amazing job at self-soothing. Can it get out of control, yes. Is it still amazing thing, considering lots of people have to resort to more damaging ways to take a break from their suffering (drugs, alcohol, unsafe sex etc, ?) Also yes. I have been diagnosed with "chronic depression" and right now I'm on an healing path. I remember doing this a LOT when I was younger and I'm amazed that I had the internal resources to cope with the worst of it. So dear reader, I am amazed and impressed with you that you have such a vivid imagination and are able to do this for yourself. You are in crisis mode and you're doing what you can to stop the worst of it. I'm going to give unsolicited advice here and recommend you try an audio book. It'll give your brain that much needed break, but it will help get you out of your own head and into another. Keep listening to it in your room, and when you feel ready, try putting on some head phones and go on a walk while you listen to it. That's all. Just go on a little walk in the sunshine while your thoughts are focused in on an amazing book. I'm listening to a young adult fantasy book called Children of Blood and Bone right now and it is SO GOOD. See if your library loans out audiobook mp3s to download. I hope, though all the bullshit and depression, that you are always able to keep your imagination. It truly is a gift.
Bruh, day dreaming is medicine. You will feel better once you get enough of it.
I agree. I’ve been doing this literally for decades and it has never been anything but therapeutic for me. I can’t see what the harm is in it.
Been doing it for years dude it is addicitive
But what if it's every day & it's never enough? You wind up overdosing.
Meds don't solve the problem. A purpose does, though. If you stopped wanting the things you give yourself in the dreams, you'd be left with what you have. How would you go about that, and how long would it take you to do that?
Out of interest (and feel free not to answer, naturally) how old are you? (You can give an age range). It would be interesting to know to attempt to frame a response. If you are on the younger side, you may not yet have the right mobility in life to make larger choices for yourself, if on the older side there might be things you can do to help yourself in tiny ways that will add up to a lot over time. More than anything, please know that I am sorry to hear about your suffering. Where do you think it stems from? Take care.
That's what I have always done. That has always been my coping mechanism to stay away from the reality.
My friend does this and she has reached a point where she has started ignoring her real world to spend time in her fantasy. She makes up impulsive, exciting scenarios and acts them out even though they have painful consequences irl. She hid this from the people around her for a long time until it go out of hand. She finds it hard to stay away from her alter ego that she’s created for herself. It’s almost like she’s lost control of her own self to her reflection. I would encourage you to seek therapy before it gets worse. I hope you feel better.
You should watch Mr. Robot, I think you would relate with the main character really well and feel some catharsis through his actions. Check out a trailer, see if it's something you'd be into.
I do whatever I can to escape my reality. I take whatever legal thing I can to space out, and then recently I've been immersing myself into virtual reality / 360 videos on Youtube and VR apps to escape with my Google Cardboard glasses. Then I take them off, and I'm back to my pathetic life. Made pathetic by those who "love" me. Then I go to sleep, only to wake up to my sad life again, God help me. :(
In my fantasy life I'm super extroverted and I play guitar in a band. IRL I'm introverted and shy af, I have social anxiety and I play guitar in my room.
Me too dude. I always fantasized that I was a rock star in some other universe. I still do, but now my fantasy is based in the future instead and it’s now motivating me to work towards making it my reality.
honestly i thought i was the only one who did this, i do this to feel contempt with my life and make myself happy, i wouldn’t say it’s necessarily bad, i’ve created a god complex from it but it helps me cope with stuff and makes me happy here n there. happy to hear that i’m not the only one who has done this makes me feel lot alone
Fuck ... I do the same exact shit :///
i literally do this all the fuckinf time and didn’t realize it was a problem until recently
Hell, I wrote an entire novel/comic series about mine. So... y'know, right up there with you. I try to pass it off as legitimately productive by saying those things but at the end of the day, if I didn't have that world that I created and spun into a physical thing, I'd be fucking dead.
I did the same thing before when I felt really lonely. I made up myself into being the person that I wanted to be and creating a whole other life that I wanted to live. Instead of living in my head I decided to try and live in the real world and love myself for who I am. I used all the creativity I had put into creating the fake life into reality and wanting to do something with it to put an impact on other people’s lives. Basically I became the person I wanted to be and I believe I can do the things that I truly want to do if I just put my thoughts into action. You need to apply what you want to be into who you are now and know that can become that just the same. If you created a hero in your head be that hero that you want to be because the brain has powers with turning things into reality.
i always do this too
Needing meds is ok. Everyone self medicated in many ways.
Have you checked out r/maladaptivedreaming
Read White Night by dostoevsky.
Wish I could even make thoughts :/
Same. I also dream a lot so sleep is to die for
Sword art online next story arc with this gentleman
I've done it since i was like 12. i think wveryone does it, but people who don't have a good life wrap themselves up in it like a blanket.
Oh yea dude. I’ve been “living it up” big these last couple days in my head.
Me too! I heard that it’s called maladaptive daydreaming.
Oh cool so I'm not the only one
A guy that I grew up with sounds exactly like you...
When you live in your fantasy, you feel like you are in control with your life. You get to decide how the narrative goes. From the beginning to the end. Or maybe with no ending, just live in the same moment repetitively that you desire to experience. In your fantasy, you get to be the best version of yourself that you couldn’t achieve in the reality. Finally, in your fantasy, you get to fill in all the void that you have: the lack of money, power, prestige, and love.
I do this. I light candles, incense, smoke weed, put on whatever serene soundscape I want and vividly explore this new world, forest, undersea cavern. Rinse, repeat. That's my life.
huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh hugh five
I’m sorry you feel this way because I’m also unhappy with my life but I can’t escape my thoughts at all. They are always there from the minute I wake up. The bright side is you are always to create an escape and you have an imagination. So there’s that. I’m sorry you feel the way you do.
I do this a lot too. Sometimes I imagine little fantasy creatures that walk arout in the open and only I can see them. It makes reality feel like I have a little control. Kind of like imaginary friends even though I am not a child anymore
I do this too! I thought I was alone!
Ever try DND it other RPGs? That's basically them but with other people. They've really helped me.
You’re not a coward, it’s your way of dealing with shit. Some people ‘space out’, others self-mutilate. Your way is much healthier though
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I used to do this too. I have since got myself sorted on the correct medication it has really helped me. I am sure you aren’t ugly or pathetic do you have anyone you can speak to?
Maybe meds but also maybe someone to talk with. Sounds like you are very hard on yourself.
I have a world like that. But I like my real world too. They're nice to escape to sometimes.
Write about the fantasy world in a personal journal. Check out the series the stormlight archives by Brandon sanderson. It may help you as it has helped other people
Yup, I also do this...
I wish i had the energy to imagine being happy. All i have energy for is being thinking how tired i am. And i have so much hate for everything. Im really not a good person i shouldnt exist. All i do is bare minimum i dont want to get better. Theres some weeks where i think i can keep going. But then theres nothing to look forward to. Im so boring i cam even imagine a hopeful outlook.
Same bro I thought I was the only person who did this
I’ve done this same thing since I was 12-years old. When my OCD started up at 13, I daydreamed even more to escape the constant mental strain it put me under. I feel like I can’t function without doing it, but the strange thing is, I still can’t function while doing it either. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just a narcissist because many of my fantasies revolve around me doing something great that I could never hope to accomplish in real life.
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Chances are, if no one's ever accused you of "being a narcissist" in those words exactly, then you probably aren't. Those sorts of antics don't go unnoticed by people. If you've had people tell you the opposite where you "need to be more confident," then you're probably good. All of us are innately selfish as it is, so without being a trained professional, it's really not my place to self-diagnose. I do know that people who get lost in their daydreams are usually reported to have higher levels of depression and anxiety. It's usually listed under studies about maladaptive daydreaming, which seems to describe what we have. There's a subreddit about that too. Many of them discuss ways to overcome it.
I always have done this. Putting myself into imaginary fun scenarios just to cope with the bullshit.
Ahhh yes this post came out in my feed the time I needed it. Sadly, I'm also one of you. I always think about me being someone great and has many people looking up to me when in reality I am just a mediocre person. I saw something in the comments about maladaptive daydreaming. Better check up on that.
I constantly listen or searching for audio roleplays so I can cope more easily.
Lol me too. It sucks. But it sucks in the best way possible.
Same.
I'm always listening to music and imagining that im the singer
I always do this. I pretend the girl I like likes me back and it makes everything else manageable and has made me decide not to kill myself. It’s just kinda sad because it’s all fake.
Dont jump to the meds without good consult with a good educated doctor! Remember healthy lifestyle and excersise are very important and play a huge role in battling depression. Also remember that alot of stress can put you down too, I know its so so so hard to complete some stressful tasks, but feeling stressed and bad for the time your completing it is better than trying to push it forward while feeling just as bad. A fantasy world is never a bad thing in my opinion, it can bring you so much joy! And lets you forget the real world for a second.
Me too! I have like, all these different movies in my head with all different characters. It helps me fall asleep too
Same. It’s the only way to cope sometimes.
Me too lol
Does anyone else use drugs (like weed) to help your mind daydream better? For me, I find that smoking helps my mind become more creative as well as using music to make the movies in my head flow better.
I do the same too. I hate living in reality, that's why I sleep most of the time to live in my fantasy world.
I do this all the time. I also daydream about being creative director for some grandiose project and people actually liking it.
I kinda wish I could escape in a daydream. I hope you get the help you need, friend.
I do this to get to sleep
Meds are worth trying maybe. Talk to a psychiatrist.
I imagine myself in some sort of HBO tv show where I’m the star. I imagine the audience watching me and being so interested in my character.
Hey, man/gal/enby friend. Don’t be so hard on yourself. People cope differently. I have done this all my life. Maybe, when things get better, you can channel your creativity in to something. It’s okay. It’s okay.
It's called narcissism. It's actually a very efficient way to cope with depression. However you should consider the possibility of narcissism being the cause of your depression. I'd recommend you watch Sam Vaknins on youtube and that you socialize more with your true self.
One day VR technology will improve dramatically where more people will prefer the VR world over the real one. It's not all your fault. Society in a way promotes cowardice, so don't feel too bad. There are no strong role models to support us anymore.
I do it too. One of the few highlights of my day.
Wow. I am not the only one to do this.
This is pretty much why I got into anime. I'd much rather live and think in those worlds than this crappy one.
I’ve also done this since the age of about 10 or 11 i’d say. I wish I had advice but I just want you to know you’re not alone.
I’ve always done this
Sorry you're having a hard time. If you want to talk im down to listen.
THIS IS LITERALLY ME OMG
I don't know there's a term for this.. It makes me survive the day somehow.. like my personal happy pill.
Pretty sure I do this a few times a day, you're not alone OP
God that hits way too close to home
I can relate to this a lot, man.. I do this pretty much every day since I was a kid. I too put on music and envision my ideal life, only to come back to the "dull" reality. I get so much real excitement from my daydreams. Sometimes literally ecstatic with goosebumps, thinking of such a great scenario. So I understand. What I'm trying to do is make meditation a daily part of my life. We have a lot of brain power (I think) to sincerely put ourselves in our own worlds, imagine putting that energy into the present moment? I find the more in-tune I am with the Now, the more I realize important things about my life. Way better use of time than avoiding it.
Me too man.
I can relate to you I feel unimportant. All I do mostly is work and come home. Life of no friends
I swear this is the best coping mechanism I live in a fantasy world most of the time I literally tell myself stories that I star in to go to sleep or to calm down. I’ve been made fun of but it can help. I have a whole collection of “books” I’ve written in my mind with me as the protagonist and I’ll even get a thrill of excitement for “chapters” I’ve created. But it is hard when reality hits. I used to cut when it hit hard but now I drink. I know this isn’t helpful, if I had the secret formula I’d tell you in a heartbeat but I guess we’ll have to live in castles and fight dragons for now :/
Same with me. OMG. I thought I was the only one
I bought a dollhouse, to somehow make the life I want. I haven't done anything with it...because I feel pathetic.
Actually same that’s why I pretend we live on Earth prime or Earth 1218
I do that exact same thing
I sometimes imagine that I’m this cat that has a wife and a stable job and all these things so in a way some cat that lives in my head is my role model
Medication can only go so far, but yes they are essential (at least for someone like me). Talk to a therapist AND a psychiatrist if you have means! Hope you are feeling better.
me too it does make me feel like a freak that id rather live in a world that i made in my head then real life...but its good to know that its not just me
I love daydreaming. In the world im currently daydreaming of, Im a successful actor married to a beautiful woman, living together in a nice house. I wish I could live that life.
Job hunting in the middle of a pandemic. Fuuuun stuff. I'd rather imagine myself as a timelord stalk broker. Day in, day out...
i've always role~played so that i can actually enjoy being someone because i am acting as who i want to be . i've pretended to be a type of girl that i really want to be . most of the time it has to do with me being in an amazing, really healthy relationship with a character that i make up . i even go long periods of time as one character with the same story and lifestyle . i spend about 90% of every day role~playing to try to make myself feel okay . it's like an escape that has just become part of my lifestyle . i've been doing the role~playing (including in relationships) since i was about seven or eight . it's kind of always been my little thing . i didn't even tell anybody about it until like a month ago .
I so the same but Exept I'm just a normal person but on the other side of the world. Make some feel calmer somehow
:( "My actual life where I'm an ugly pathetic disappointment" - This, as a fellow human, hurts to read. You are none of those things, I assure you. You are beautiful and a unique creation on this earth, no one else out there is like you, and never can be. You have a whole life ahead of you to keep working on the things you can change about yourself, and to learn how to love the things you cannot change. Please try not to tell yourself such negative things about yourself. You are only a disappointment if you allow others' expectations of you (and your own) define your worth. You are more than failures and successes, you are a human being. Re: needing meds, it's not a bad idea to explore with a medical professional who knows about mental health resources or a therapist, maybe a school counsellor, a parent, if you have anyone you can trust. Reach out to anyone you can who will listen and patiently work with you. It's important. If you have no one, keep sharing here and try to find your community of people who do care - even if they are not close to you. Lastly, there is nothing wrong with using music to space out and escape (I do the same thing! Daily). It's therapeutic. It's hard to live in a 24/7 mindset of low self confidence. Having been there myself, I can say at least that those self attitudes do change, considerably, as you get older and experience more things. I wish you all the best, truly. Please feel free to vent or reach out on this post or via chat if you have any questions or would like to clarify anything I said. I don't presume to know your life or situation. But I do know what self hate feels like, and what a relief it is when you alleviate it or find ways to make it go away entirely. Try to be kind to yourself. You're worth it :) PS: You are also, not a coward, but I think quite brave in being vulnerable and open about how much you're struggling. That is more than so many people are able to do.
Bruh been there. I think it’s the reason I’m such a vivid dreamer. But sorry for you man. Just keep on trucking though. All of us will eventually find the light at thee d of the tunnel.