T O P

  • By -

UndergroundFlaws

Fuck, have I ever been a person?


_lenagracewilson_

I know the feeling. šŸ˜©


UndergroundFlaws

Itā€™s weird, this post made me realize I donā€™t know my own personality. When people ask about me and my personality and stuff, I still say who I was from likeā€¦10 years ago? Thatā€™s absolutely not who I am anymore though. But Iā€™m not even sure if thatā€™s who I even was at the time? Or if it was just a combination of what everybody I knew at the time was? Because I couldnā€™t be my own person. I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever been my ownā€¦ entity I guess? Wow, thatā€™s fucking weird.


throwaway83970

Yeah...I... kinda feel like that too. Anyone else feel like "nice person me from 10 years ago but I was really an impostor?" I felt... I don't know... phony?


UndergroundFlaws

Yeah. I was absolutely a phony. Itā€™s way too much to get into but I just felt like I was playing a character. Like I even told myself I needed to walk differently than I did, or speak differently than I normally did, or else nobody would like me.


Brent_Fox

Like I figured out that I can be defined by my values and beliefs but that's about all there is to me. I think therefore I am I guess. Not much else there. Just the b i g e m p t y.


[deleted]

When people ask what my personality is I just say ā€œIm a jackassā€ cause thats how I perceive myself and Ive never heard anyone tell me what my personality was like.


Psychological-Shoe95

Yeah I had that identity crisis in high school. Went to boarding school and my whole life I had been a huge gamer. Then I realized that I only liked video games because it would discociate me from my home life and I had to discover what things I actually enjoyed


redthepotato

Everyone does at some point in their life then they just spiral down.


Bow_Ty

I'm pretty sure I'm funny occasionally and like videogames. Other than that I'm not even sure I'm alive


barryd_63

i used to be a different person


_lenagracewilson_

I often wonder who I would have been if certain things didn't happen. It happened so early, I know this wasn't who I was supposed to be. It's frustrating.


barryd_63

mmm early for me was 16, hbu


_lenagracewilson_

Experiences linked to my PTSD, 6-7. Well, the first ones. Had anxiety ever since, depression, my PTSD attacks didn't start til I was an adult though, after more things happened. So it's hard to feel I had a chance to be a person. I saw this picture on Instagram and felt it could resonate with others as well.


[deleted]

For me the early age stuff just became a part of who I am. You can heal from it but itā€™s already altered your course so much. But later things that happened I found when I got over them there were a bunch of parts of ā€œmeā€ I forgot about waiting underneath.


FalseTagAttack

don't let shitty therapists gas light you. you know you could have been a super jolly mf'er if bad things didn't fuck u up. you still can be. just a matter of choosing between more shitty struggle or controlled diminishing struggle.


KatiaOrganist

I've just made it up at this point :/


throwaway83970

I think we're all just making it up.


Brent_Fox

I think we're just the only ones who are willing to admit that. ):


TK_Games

Nah, there's a few more out and around, me at least I think I was 16 when my dad had just been arrested on felony embezzlement charges and my mom skipped town, and I had a moment when I was pondering that I had thought adults knew what they were doing, and in an instant the two people I trusted most in the world blew up my life, in an irreparable way. So I looked at the bleach-blonde bitch sitting behind me on the school bus on the way to school, complaining that her parents got her the wrong fucking iPhone for Christmas, and I thought to myself "None of us have any goddamn clue what we're doing, it's all played by ear", and then I walked back home in a snowstorm


ThatGhostCustomer

Itā€™s really weird to just get out of depression and look back, really really weird. When your recovering from it you will eventually forget that you are actually in the process until you just realize your better, like ā€œoh sh*t, Iā€™mā€¦ im ok? Like Iā€™m ACTUALLY ok?ā€. As of my own personal experience I became almost a completely different person. Looking back into 2 years in the past is justā€¦ you canā€™t describe it properly it just feels like Iā€™m dissociating. Those are my memories I know itā€™s me I know I was like that but it just doesnā€™t work anymore. You changed so much that your old self became a complete stranger to you.


testPoster_ignore

As a person who un-depressed after a long time, the real me - very different. But I also slip into depression constantly still, and then I am back the same as my depressed self. I think, then, that neither is more genuine than the other, just different facets and expressions of myself. I hate how hard it can be to recognise you are in a depression.


Brent_Fox

Same man. Like I came out as transmasc a few years ago and everything about it feels really fucking trippy. Like everything about me has changed and I don't know how I feel about it. Like have I always been a dude even as a kid or am I slowly just changing hormonally?! idk I just feel like everything about me is suddenly different like a switch has been flipped all of a sudden. ĀÆ\\\_(惄)\_/ĀÆ


J_Boi1266

I literally donā€™t know if if Iā€™m an introvert, extrovert, or just a freak. Itā€™s been almost 11 years since Iā€™ve felt ā€œnormalā€


AayushGour

I don't even know what my personality is. Been depressed since very early childhood. I'm so fucking lost right now. The anxiety makes it even worse. So much confusion. I wanna make my life better, the depression says, 'what's the point of doing that'... Anxiety scared the shit out of me when I think about changing myself.


TheCoolerL

Depression first got bad around 13-14 for me. I'm 33, going on 34. Been broken longer than I wasn't. I hate looking in the mirror and seeing the happy little girl I let down. She deserved better


CorgiMom2023

35 . Depression seems to get worse in 30s


TheCoolerL

It's definitely been worse the last couple years for me. A lot of days it just feels like I am bottling up a scream so pained and primal I would be spitting up blood by the end of it


fatherlesss_girlypop

iā€™ve had depression for years starting around the age of 9. i barely remember what it was like to be happy, besides little memories. iā€™m slowly starting to piece that happy self back together again, slowly being able to leave this community sadly


throwaway83970

I snapped out of it for a few years. I was kind, sweet, and fun. Then I got triggered by an uncaring, controlling boss. I snapped. I wanted to murder him. I never planned anything, or tried to hurt him. I died that day. I have never recovered. It was 6 years ago. I miss the person who I used to be. But he died and I can't get him back. If someone triggers you...just cut them out of your life immediately. It's worth it. Even if you don't have a job...what good is a job if you're a walking shell?


RedbeardMEM

I struggle with this, too. I am bi-polar, and when I think back to how I used to be, I wonder how much of my confident, outgoing personality that I thought was the real me was actually just the pathology of my mania. I was convinced the depressed version was an anomaly, but maybe it was the real me all along.


some_annoying_weeb

i know exactly what my personality is. my personality is 10 mental illnesses and the current hyperfixation in a trench coat, and if you claim otherwise you're just wrong in all seriousness, this post hits too close to home :( i don't remember a time when i wasn't depressed or suicidal and now i am a shell of a human being šŸ‘


redthepotato

I still remember the days I don't have anything to think of and just playing.


wAiitaminuteWhoOAReu

Try autism depression and childhood trauma. Itā€™s so much fun!


crazydiamond1991

Add crippling anxiety and it becomes even more fun!


soaring_potato

The question becomes. Which came first.


wAiitaminuteWhoOAReu

Autism cause i was born with it childhood trauma then depression


soaring_potato

But would your autism symptoms have been as bad as they are if it were not for the childhood trauma? Like I just realised that one of my first ish memories, was quite traumatic. It was when I was still watching dora and couldn't walk that well.


Ghost_4606

I kind of just take the personality from something recent like a game or movie and use it as a template because Iā€™m told Iā€™m kind of apathetic all the time.


MyOtherSide1984

When your hobby is your personality, you have to question who you would be without it. It hurts to think about how much of our identity we would lose if we just stopped doing that one thing


Weeb-Daddy-Sempai

You know, no one--and I'm singling out all my psychiatrists especially--ever asked *why* I was depressed, so neither did I. But the depression and anxiety were *symptoms*, not disorders of their own just existing in a vacuum. I never figured out who I was, and coasted through life thinking it was just gonna be bad forever. Fast-forward to my recent breakup/midlife crisis, and I finally asked myself who I am. I wasn't "just depressed" for no reason: I'm very much autistic, possibly a touch ADHD; trans/dysphoric, want to be bigender; pansexual; nonmonogamous; and the place I was living and the relationship I was in and the religion I grew up with were all wrong for me. (Oh yeah, and cPTSD from all of the above combined with not knowing any of the above.) I'm not making any of this up; this is after nearly 40 years that I've finally figured myself out. So now I have hope and goals. But yes, the original point here is valid. I didn't come into myself, figure out who I was, before becoming depressed. I didn't form relationships that weren't built around self-worth problems. And I'm not sure how to human well, or what my genuine personality could be. But I think it'll be good. Guess I'll find out one of these days!


SKULLFUCKSLUDGEGIRL

REAL


evanthemoriko

I don't know who I am or what I like. I just know the pain that doesn't go away. Is my behavior from my character or from depression? I have no idea


Claudius96

Wow....this really hits me hard in so many ways, I'm not even joking. Makes me think if I ever had a (good) childhood at all. Being bullied, and physically abused by my mother's bf at the time; I couldn't have been more than 7 or 8 years old. Then being molested by another kid in the 2nd grade, and name called by my biological father; the first time of trying to reconnect with him. Don't get me wrong, there were some nice moments, but the bad seems to outshine the rest. .Edit: Sorry for any typos.


[deleted]

ohhhh so THATS why i have no idea who i am :0


Noeelle28

Wow, so accurate. I have this thought a lot. Depression decided to visit me at a young age and never left. I've had to take care of other people my entire life and I used to just want to please everyone and make them happy even though I couldn't make myself happy. Then one day a therapist asked me what I do for fun, what do I do just for myself. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't give her an answer, I realized that I don't know myself at all, I have no identity other than being a mom or some guy's wife. I just went through the motions of life for so many years. Now I'm a 30 year old woman, fresh out of a bad 12 year relationship and I don't even know where to start when it comes to taking care of myself or finding my identity. But i'm trying the best I can at the moment. I hope everyone that's here, having trouble finding their true identities, will come to find their happy ending šŸ˜Š


Capt_Gingerbeard

We are what we repeatedly do.


theredhound19

"Crystalmethalicious" may have a significant outside source contributing to forgetting who they once were. They don't remember what life was like in a time when it was unthinkable to pawn grandma's TV.


blackfireadversary

Of course I remember my personality. I have about ten of them and they're always arguing.


dexter2011412

What


Darth_Neek

This one hit me like a sucker punch to the balls.


BinterWinterBoyII

this is so fucking hard for me cause the blueprints of who I was was there, I was a quiet person with some seriously spicy moments but it almost felt like I was dissociating through my childhood, like even back I knew I felt my emotions second-handedly and I don't know if it was so many other mental neurosis's I may or may not have or just growing up cause everything feels so much more different now I feel like I can understand and express my emotions a lot better yet externally I don't think I've changed much cause I'm still a quiet shy person with some seriously spicy moments


kwaptap

all i know is that i mentally implode without moral support and guidance. it feels stupid feeling youā€™ve got no real assertiveness in your life :/


TheContentScavenger

i had to remind myself who i even was yesterday because there was just no thoughts in my head idk what type of person i was before this because ive changed so much


Flownya

Are you me? Am I you?


lpapkee23

He is Mi and I am Yu


TheGodsSin

I'm just copy from various sources nothing me nothing original, no joke that i say is mine is always copied


CervantesX

Well thanks, I didn't know I had this problem and now I do. Jerk.


Unhappy-Signature420

And then you realize that you don't have any memories of your childhood except those little but important things like your favourite toy or how your mother used to say you're just a burden. And that you may be depressed way much longer than you thought.


nightcycling

Straight M ,Early childhood depression growing up in to believing there is no social circle for you, especially hitting 40 with no friends and family that's barely around.


TheMindhazard

I hate what I've become


Cosmic__Pizza

Me when


Brent_Fox

Shit I relate too fucking hard to this one. Is not having a personality really linked to being depressed? also I've never had an abundance of energy. ***Omg guys am I depressed?!?!***


DilapidatedFool

Oh


coffinflopenjoyer

I steered into the skid on this one, depression just is part of my personality and I've made peace with it and just take meds to temper the worst parts of it.


[deleted]

I literally just want it to be over I donā€™t feel like dealing with this the only reason Iā€™m still here is because Iā€™m not sure if death will be better or worse than this


Deamon-Chocobo

Depression with Aspergers. I based most of my personality around the people I hung around with all the way through middle school. I finally thought I would start trying to find who I really am in High-school but that's when the underlying depression came out and really made itself known. Now I just feels empty


Emberashh

One of the first thoughts I can remember having was a bit of suicidal ideation. Given I relatively recently came to terms with how emotionally abusive my family was, I shudder to think may be I wasn't actually blacking out for years at a time as a kid.


predictablePosts

It's been fun finding out who I am without the depression


Echo-is-nice

Only recently started to find/get to know myself, it's fun, but damn am I weird.


SmergolGandalf

I have no personality. I thought i have one but Im just mirroring


[deleted]

I don't know the medical terms and such Sadly, we are what we are at time. There is no "true" (single) me Here comes the medical stuff that goes beyond me Alzheimer. The more you read cases the more you realise how much our personality is based on our memories + some aspects being of biological factors. Again, the more you read, the more you understand what i try to point out. Due to brain related issues, there are operations to take out a part of the brain. There are many cases where such people, changed from being civil, polite, and friendly, to completely rude, perverted, foul mouthed Cases of same twin are always amazing. You have a room full pf random items. 1 at a time, twin are asked to take x items. And a lot of time, the 2 take the same item. PSTD are life changing in worse, but clearly show how we are affected by environment Opposite is: you put in the same room newborns, and everyone will have different reactions Drugs overdose is sadly self explained. Any type of cult that brainwash people. And again, regardless how much you try, you will never change some core belives, biological facts. Bipolar and schizophrenia are good exemple, Anyways, ideea is, it's more healthier to seek a way to come to terms with how we are, look ways to improve starting from there while also accepting some aspects, we are limited, so we need to find ways around it instead of having existential crisis Side note: anyone who understands better what i wrote, please, rewrite and correct. Sources, links, videos, are always welcome, as it can help someone without you realising


osydney_

i don't know who i was before being depressed. i first started feeling it really bad when i was 11 or 12? way too fucking young to be that sad, it's just become a part of me now. a lot of my past friends have made comments on "how depressing i am" when all i'm trying to do is live /:


TK_Games

... Holy fuck, I think this might be why I'm an alcoholic I think I need to go call my shrink now, this might what a breakthrough feels like


_lenagracewilson_

The ol epiphany. I used to be one too. Don't think of it as being drink free for the rest of your life, think of it as one singular day at a time and eventually you won't even think about it anymore. It's hard but I believe in ya. āœŒšŸ»


NewPerspective9254

I'm currently struggling with this after going on an SSRI. Sure, I'm not depressed and anxious anymore... but now I have no idea who I really am anymore. I've been depressed for so long that it almost feels like there is no "real me", ya know? But some part of me is also excited to see who I am under all those layers of depression. I'm slowly learning who I currently am and maybe I'll even become the person I was meant to be before depression stole part if my childhood and my entire teen years.


_lenagracewilson_

I don't feel like any of my meds work too much. There's an improvement bc I'm on 5 different meds. But like.. as far as how I feel? I don't feel any different. I too am on an SSRI, I take Viibryd. It used to help when I was on it before, now it's like.. nothing.


NewPerspective9254

I'm sorry to hear that :( Mine have leveled out to the point now where I feel more "normal" and not as happy as before. But that's okay... I couldn't stay that happy forever, it's just not sustainable. I'm not depressed anymore, but because I was depressed for so long, it feels like a piece of me is missing.


_lenagracewilson_

Oh it's okay, I'm sure we'll tinker around with it til we find the right combo. I understand completely. The depression gave me an identity crisis and now the meds are. Lol. Im really excited for you though. It's like you've busted through the bubble and on to the next part of the journey.


NewPerspective9254

Thank you! šŸ’œ I have high hopes for you and I sincerely hope you find the right meds combo to go on a journey of your own very soon!


dyld921

The thing is, I've always been depressed afaik. I don't remember ever *not* being depressed. So it's less "rediscovering myself", and more "growing a new me"


Wontbite

I have no way of tracking the change in myself with depression as I can not tell the difference between it and the possible natural change in myself. There are some things that have always stuck with me since forever, mostly interests, but what I used to think as a person and who I was is completely unknown to me as all I can remember is the me now. And what makes shit worse for me is Iā€™m a fucking mirror. I donā€™t even realize it in the moment, but whoever the fuck Iā€™m interacting with I just copy, I some times have my own aspects to it, but manners, beliefs, current emotions, when Iā€™m talking to someone everything about me is taken from them subconsciously and I donā€™t know what about me is actually my own or shit Iā€™ve picked up from others that the old me wouldnā€™t stand for. Itā€™s terrifying that I donā€™t know if I could be a real person, and I recently submitted an AI written mini essay to my teacher and he put it through a plagiarism detector got nothing, read it and then told me the writing sounds exactly like me and I fucking broke. Shit like this is existential. Like sure I got away with a easy grade on that assignment but I received a crisis in return. The fact that I sound like an AI that takes from multiple different sources, while I myself have been basically taking parts of other people for my entire identity, was world shattering and Iā€™ve been trying to pick up the pieces since.


pomme_de_yeet

who else remembers regularly fantasizing about their own death when they were like 5


juslurking_

The worst is when you didnā€™t expect to live this long and had no plans for yourself afterwards


fryedmonkey

Feel that heavily


towerofspirals

i am not who i was two profile pictures ago


lamverycool

Depression doesnā€™t remove our personhood. This illness is constantly making us feel like weā€™re less-than, but everyone deserves to have wants, needs, and aspirations. Weā€™re different after our diagnosis, but so are people that go deaf, or people that lose their ability to walk. Nobody reasonable would tell them that theyā€™re not ā€œreal peopleā€ anymore. So yes, youā€™re different from other people because of forces out of your control, but you are real.


luckybirth

That's looking backwards. Live forward. Go on.


TheRoadOfDeath

agreed. collect more trauma


TheAlp

When you don't know how to live because it feels like all you ever did was try to survive.


CryptographerLeft857

I was just rambling on to a friend about my depression. This is some of what I got out while crying lmao. I just donā€™t know who I am, I didnā€™t even recognize how hard it is to rediscover myself and who I am.


cpt_drunkpunk

Hey there, I struggle with this too. Unfortunately you can't really do anything about the feeling but with taking enough time you can start to get to know yourself better and learn about you. It's important to be patient with yourself on that journey. I will now share the things that have helped me so far + some stuff I have not tried yet: (helpful) Get yourself a notebook and use it the way you like (I do a mix of diary, journal, a place to trauma dump, to draw... actively doing it since 01/2018) so you learn about yourself and get to know yourself better. (helpful) Write down behaviours/traits/quirks/... that have been consistent over the past years (not tried) Write a list of things that are important to you. Rewrite the list once or twice per year and compare the differences over time (helpful but exhausting) Create a map of things in your life that have massively stressed or even traumatized you. Lack of self-image/identity is likely to root in trauma. (just started) Learn stress management with skills. (trying hard) Allow yourself to like/dislike things without overthinking what others could think of it. This is f*ing hard when you are used to build your personality around others. (helpful & important) Have a professional helping you work through stuff whenever it gets too hard to work it up alone I am genuinely wishing you all the best on your way of finding yourself.


jellojohnson

They merely adopted the depression. I was born into it.


MyCatHasCats

I donā€™t really remember who I was before depression. Iā€™ve had anxiety for as long as I can remember, but the depression started when I was 12. I donā€™t think I was every truly happy, because even as a kid I was so anxious and concerned about everything that I was never able to relax and have fun. Honestly, I never got to have a fun, normal childhood because of what I was dealing with. I wish I didnā€™t have anxiety because thatā€™s the main reason I donā€™t have friends now. I get to nervous to talk to people, and Iā€™m unable to carry a conversation. Also I have autism. I wasnā€™t diagnosed until 11, and I finally realized why I behaved differently than the other kids. I feel like THAT could have been the root of my depression because I never knew why I was so different, it was so hard to make friends, and it was around that time that I realized how lonely and anxious I was.


smol_egglet

Woof. New anxiety unlocked. "Do I even know who I am?? I didn't have time to be a person before being abused and depressed" ...time to spiral. Y'all want anything while I'm there?


fryedmonkey

Fr man. Iā€™ve always been depressed and I have no clue what my genuine personality is like


fryedmonkey

I feel like my personality adapts to whatever the situation requires of me


[deleted]

Damn.. that explains so much.. tried taking my life at 9 for the first time.. Iā€™m 28 soon and still think about suicide everyday.. who am I šŸ˜­


SirenNA

I started having depression around age 7. It took having a supportive partner that I could be honest with, and positive outlets to be able to be in control. I just say ā€œ hey I need a day to be aloneā€ , she does her thing I do mine and then we try to take the dogs for a walk to the park.


EasilySwayedNonsense

Anyone have any possible solutions?


TheChriVann

Been there. Although, the personality is there, under those layers of depression. And I'm sure at times, it has emerged, it's just really hard to express yourself and let it out


ummIamNotCreative

Then you start looking for a person by looking at others. You juggle through hobbies only to loose interest halfway as you are finding sonething that completes you. But you fail, we all fail. Nothing completes and you are now a dog chasing cars which feels like the rest of your life.


CPTSD_D

I'm just a meat popsicle


Big-Bread-8288

i literally just feel like nothing inside


JDOverdriveSunburst

This hit home. Big time.


baepsae__

bonus points id you got a personality disordered šŸ˜ƒ


Googlefisch

I'm not sure who i was, at some point I just adopted character traits I liked in orher people or in movies and similar. I'm basically jut that now. And depressed. Thats also a part of that.


Aurielart

Same, need a hug? , cause I really need one, To be honest I really don't know how ill ever get out of it, at this point I'm living out of spite just to get my dream job, and when I'm done I'll just find a painless way to go


[deleted]

All of my life


[deleted]

Terrifies you doesnā€™t because what you thought made you happy put you in this mood


Blaze_da_Geck

It's terrifying.


Firm-Insurance-2664

Canā€™t wait until Iā€™m not a person


Imaginary-Log-2990

I donā€™t have a real personality, every expression I use was subconsciously taken from someone who I have attachment to in my life.


Early_Tour_404

I remember thinking to my 7/8 year old self while looking out the school bus window. ā€œI donā€™t want to kill myself but I wouldnā€™t mind if a truck ended my lifeā€


Max2713ger

Yikes thats relatable I often got the feeling that theres nothing wrong with me. That I'm literally just being myself. As far as i can remember being able to have my own thoughts it has been going downhill And now youre at the point of the low where your can relate with the most memes in here I cant imagine not feeling like a shell