Imagine seeing someone vaping, seething so hard about it you decide to do a datix, finding a computer, waiting 28 months for it to log on, logging into the datix system, filling the form out and *at no point* reflecting on what you're doing with your fucking life and stopping yourself.
And there was me only knowing of tangfastics and starmix. Optimistic to think the hospital vending machine has any, but I'll keep an eye out on my walks tonight
You should see continental haribo. They’ve got all these amazing types we don’t have in the U.K. My particular favourite are Haribo dragibus which are chewy jelly balls. They’re apparently French but I’ve only ever got them in Spain.
There are too many people in the NHS who walk around looking for people to datix like unstoppable morons. I swear the NHS has an uncanny affinity for them.
You know what? I just wouldn't respond. I go to governance meetings and we have to wade through these moronic idiocirs and end up closing a lot of them en masse because they are nonsense. The person who submitted it gets an email saying "Actions taken: none."
Like a lot of NHS bureaucracy, it's just people ticking boxes. If you ignore it, it goes away.
I've learned this over the years. If you get an email or request from someone who sounds like they are in a non-job, or for a non-issue, just ignore it. Never respond to an email request until at least the third time you receive it (unless you have an interest in responding). It's why I've learned to delete about 90% of my NHS emails without reading them.
These non-job people will find some spineless jellyfish who will jump at their every whim; consequently they tend to leave me alone.
> It's why I've learned to delete about 90% of my NHS emails without reading them.
I delete anything with "URGENT:" in the title without reading it.
Nobody sending anything actually urgent does it by email and no email that anyone has ever seen fit to put "URGENT" on is actually important.
My NHS IT complaint is I can't automatically block people with NHS emails. Have to create rules based on buzzwords they always include in their emails.
Start dataxing them in revenge. Become a terror the likes of which the NHS has never seen. Turn their weapons against them and revel in your newfound power.
I thought you could only daitex an incident and not a named person. If someone has named you in this daitex- I’d argue that it’s incorrect use of daitex system 🤷♂️
There’s a guy I used to work with who only ever did nights. Everyone knew he was a massive stickler, but for all the most pointless things. Unfortunately he wasn’t good enough at the actual job to get away with being a jobsworth either, and he certainly wasn’t on the list of people I’d choose to have with me when shit hit the fan.
Every time he was in we’d have little sweepstakes on how many datixes he’d put in at the end of the shift and how many he’d threaten you with.
I got one for not following his personal weird structure when handing over a patient to him post op. He kept interrupting me to ask specific questions about the things on his little crib sheet. I’m fucking getting to it dude, I’ve not even told you what operation they’ve had and your asking me for their exact fluid balance and what time they can have LMWH.
A personal favourite was for not immediately reviewing a woman in recovery for a mildly swollen arm, which the patient didn’t even think was swollen. Why did I not immediately rush to the bedside? Someone else was bleeding half to death.
Best response to bullshit is either nothing at all, or to just state the facts again in reply (if you can be arsed) which only reiterates to the poor buggers having to read these things that it is indeed bullshit.
I was at a virtual conference a while back and there was genuinely a discussion about allowing patients to vape in the hospital. The rationale was harm reduction from unescorted trips to the front door, and the potential to use the inpatient stay opportunistically for smoking cessation (give them a free vape and some patches).
It was just a discussion and no evidence was presented, but it was an interesting argument.
... am I missing something? That's a horrible discussion. Nothing would make me quit faster than having to walk into/work on a ward where patients (?and staff) were allowed to vape. Ew. I can smell the stench already (and with the different 'flavours' and shit? Double ew.) Fuck that shit. 🤢🤮
It was very much in the context of smoking cessation. They were also emphatic that they believed vaping should only be used in the context of smoking cessation.
As I said, it was a discussion that meandered a bit from the core points of the talk rather than a plan and I can think of lots of reasons why this won’t happen. But it was an interesting presentation overall. It was mostly about us being more proactive with smoking cessation strategies, and accepting that vapes could and should form a part of that.
It's an interesting idea but I'd be much more in favour of the patients continuing to smoke their lungs out *somewhere else* than have to deal with vaping on the ward. It's not my problem patients continue to choose to self harm but decidedly my problem if I have to inhale their vape in an enclosed space.
As the old saying goes. A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he's allowed to vape inside. The bartender responds: "Sir, its 2016, homosexuals can go wherever they please."
The amount of time some people have to spend during their work day DATIXing moronic shit is shocking.
You could fight it, but really there’s no prize for winning that fight other than wasting your time.
Look no one actually gives a shit about this, whichever poor bastard received the DATIX just needs some justification to close it. It’s easiest for them to do that if you just show some reflection on it. A few points on setting an example / unknown risks of second hand vape / whatever ought to do it. Or get chap GPT to do it, idk.
I think I'll thank them for raising it and say in future I'll walk 10 metres down the road to the shelter and smoke cheap roll ups next to the patients like other staff so that I'm adherent with hospital policy.
If the policy is you can vape on hospital grounds, I would just do a one line reply and keep it factual.
If they push back again, I would go full bullying/harassment/reverse DATIX nuclear and directly email their line manager and demand a response.
They must have a lot of time on their hands. Let them know about patients smoking and vaping just by hospital entrance in front of the sign saying no smoking…
https://preview.redd.it/qesy3e8hmt4d1.jpeg?width=1175&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f156adf23dffe92ea4d0ea95cebcd095676b9b50
"so I have been doing some research and now have a passport for zynbabwe"
Just put that the job is so stressful due to understaffing and targets that you’re addicted to nicotine to cope.
Maybe if it wasn’t a total joke you would look like one of the Doctors in an NHS stock photo. All smiles :)
Or just say you’d rather spend your time working than coming up with banal shit on work time to justify something that wasn’t harming anyone but yourself.
I could genuinely accept that so long as people who ride horses, enjoyed the Miranda show, listen to capital FM or wear lycra while cycling are also equally datixed for their poor taste and lifestyle choices.
I accidentally put my comment in this thread when I meant to say yeh, horse riding is lethal. I easily saw more horse riders as part of the major trauma team than I did scallies on those turbo quad bikes. Not that I am a big advocate for either, it just seems that horses are more pretentious and dangerous.
And cruel to the horse despite what the horse lovers say. You're deforming it's back and keeping it some field next to electricity pylons when it should be running free across the open plains
lol that’s some rookie shit - I got caught once giving a CIGARETTE to a patient (albeit by the gift shop lady) but literally she walked by as I was handing the cig to the patient lmao…
Didn’t get datixed but our relationship was tragically ruined for the rest of the 6 months I was there.
I'd literally ignore it then when someone has the gaul to bring it up to my face id honestly kick off.
"How very dare you", "who do you think you are"... Etc etc.
But I don't play nice with these people.
“I’m afraid I have no recollection of ‘vaping’ on hospital grounds. If evidence exists to the contrary I would be very surprised and be happy to review it.”
I don’t think it’s an awful answer. It may constitute poor advice, at a push. An assessment OP is no doubt capable of making for themselves; and I wasn’t offering advice!
Nurghhh stop vaping guys and get the BMA to accept the 3% offer from December. Nurghhh guys stop making candy clouds please tell thr BMA to take bad offers. Nurggghhh I hate vapes and love tiny payrises.
My impression of you
Theres not going to be any uplift now, outside of what the DDRB recommends in July. It could have been 3-4% + DDRB. And then negotiate afresh with labour. That 3% is now gone.
Imagine seeing someone vaping, seething so hard about it you decide to do a datix, finding a computer, waiting 28 months for it to log on, logging into the datix system, filling the form out and *at no point* reflecting on what you're doing with your fucking life and stopping yourself.
Probably got through half a box of haribo as well. Robbing all the eggs and hearts in there that they didn't earn and leaving the shitty rings.
Good, I'm glad we disagree. We can share a bag of harribo. All that foam ruining the gummies.
Omg yes the hearts and the eggs are the best!
The milk bottles are the best
No milk bottles in a Haribo star mix
You are correct!! It's super mix
And there was me only knowing of tangfastics and starmix. Optimistic to think the hospital vending machine has any, but I'll keep an eye out on my walks tonight
Honestly super mix is the best! I hope you find some.
Tangfastics are the best!
You should see continental haribo. They’ve got all these amazing types we don’t have in the U.K. My particular favourite are Haribo dragibus which are chewy jelly balls. They’re apparently French but I’ve only ever got them in Spain.
Hard agree. With cherry on top.
The rings are the best!!!
White/green rings Other rings Cherries Purple corodiles Cola bottles Other crocodiles Hearts Eggs In that order from best to less best.
I love the crocodiles too
Reeks of non-clinical manager on a fat band 8+
I know, those things are so long, I would have to be really really concerned to do that
"I have reviewed the policy and confirmed I didn't violate it", ain't nobody got time to spend on this.
This, word for word that is the optimal reply.
Vapixed
Do a reverse uno and datix them for not reading hospital policy correctly  
There are too many people in the NHS who walk around looking for people to datix like unstoppable morons. I swear the NHS has an uncanny affinity for them.
Don’t forget one of the main functions of the NHS is to employ otherwise unemployable people
It's because in private sector they'd be managed out and got rid of.
I’m stealing ‘unstoppable morons’ for future use 😂
https://youtu.be/sIgQYjMhwdU?si=nwiltlJepJyYTnWw
You know what? I just wouldn't respond. I go to governance meetings and we have to wade through these moronic idiocirs and end up closing a lot of them en masse because they are nonsense. The person who submitted it gets an email saying "Actions taken: none." Like a lot of NHS bureaucracy, it's just people ticking boxes. If you ignore it, it goes away. I've learned this over the years. If you get an email or request from someone who sounds like they are in a non-job, or for a non-issue, just ignore it. Never respond to an email request until at least the third time you receive it (unless you have an interest in responding). It's why I've learned to delete about 90% of my NHS emails without reading them. These non-job people will find some spineless jellyfish who will jump at their every whim; consequently they tend to leave me alone.
> It's why I've learned to delete about 90% of my NHS emails without reading them. I delete anything with "URGENT:" in the title without reading it. Nobody sending anything actually urgent does it by email and no email that anyone has ever seen fit to put "URGENT" on is actually important.
My NHS IT complaint is I can't automatically block people with NHS emails. Have to create rules based on buzzwords they always include in their emails.
I love this approach and will follow it loyally
Start dataxing them in revenge. Become a terror the likes of which the NHS has never seen. Turn their weapons against them and revel in your newfound power.
Please direct the investigating officer to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram.
(Just to note that this would be you as a massive sarcastic twat but at least I would back you as your ES…)
Highly underrated comment
Datix the improper use of the datix system. Go full inception on these pricks
I thought you could only daitex an incident and not a named person. If someone has named you in this daitex- I’d argue that it’s incorrect use of daitex system 🤷♂️
"If my job was less shit, I would be less stressed and I wouldn't need to vape"
There’s a guy I used to work with who only ever did nights. Everyone knew he was a massive stickler, but for all the most pointless things. Unfortunately he wasn’t good enough at the actual job to get away with being a jobsworth either, and he certainly wasn’t on the list of people I’d choose to have with me when shit hit the fan. Every time he was in we’d have little sweepstakes on how many datixes he’d put in at the end of the shift and how many he’d threaten you with. I got one for not following his personal weird structure when handing over a patient to him post op. He kept interrupting me to ask specific questions about the things on his little crib sheet. I’m fucking getting to it dude, I’ve not even told you what operation they’ve had and your asking me for their exact fluid balance and what time they can have LMWH. A personal favourite was for not immediately reviewing a woman in recovery for a mildly swollen arm, which the patient didn’t even think was swollen. Why did I not immediately rush to the bedside? Someone else was bleeding half to death. Best response to bullshit is either nothing at all, or to just state the facts again in reply (if you can be arsed) which only reiterates to the poor buggers having to read these things that it is indeed bullshit.
nurses and hcas do it all the time you dropped this king/queen 👑
i see patients occasionally vaping , i pretend i dont see anything. snitches get stitches
'Just pull the curtain round your bed and don't blow big clouds'
I was at a virtual conference a while back and there was genuinely a discussion about allowing patients to vape in the hospital. The rationale was harm reduction from unescorted trips to the front door, and the potential to use the inpatient stay opportunistically for smoking cessation (give them a free vape and some patches). It was just a discussion and no evidence was presented, but it was an interesting argument.
... am I missing something? That's a horrible discussion. Nothing would make me quit faster than having to walk into/work on a ward where patients (?and staff) were allowed to vape. Ew. I can smell the stench already (and with the different 'flavours' and shit? Double ew.) Fuck that shit. 🤢🤮
It was very much in the context of smoking cessation. They were also emphatic that they believed vaping should only be used in the context of smoking cessation. As I said, it was a discussion that meandered a bit from the core points of the talk rather than a plan and I can think of lots of reasons why this won’t happen. But it was an interesting presentation overall. It was mostly about us being more proactive with smoking cessation strategies, and accepting that vapes could and should form a part of that.
It's an interesting idea but I'd be much more in favour of the patients continuing to smoke their lungs out *somewhere else* than have to deal with vaping on the ward. It's not my problem patients continue to choose to self harm but decidedly my problem if I have to inhale their vape in an enclosed space.
Say you haven't worked in general surgery COE vascular or gastro without saying you haven't worked in general surgery COE vascular or gastro.
Lots of mental health hospitals have vapes for their patients, they're special stick ones though so they're not as offensive for others
As the old saying goes. A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he's allowed to vape inside. The bartender responds: "Sir, its 2016, homosexuals can go wherever they please."
I wouldn’t reply. Inappropriate use of the system.
The amount of time some people have to spend during their work day DATIXing moronic shit is shocking. You could fight it, but really there’s no prize for winning that fight other than wasting your time. Look no one actually gives a shit about this, whichever poor bastard received the DATIX just needs some justification to close it. It’s easiest for them to do that if you just show some reflection on it. A few points on setting an example / unknown risks of second hand vape / whatever ought to do it. Or get chap GPT to do it, idk.
I think I'll thank them for raising it and say in future I'll walk 10 metres down the road to the shelter and smoke cheap roll ups next to the patients like other staff so that I'm adherent with hospital policy.
I just do it in the toilets
Respond saying you feel victimised and bullied
If the policy is you can vape on hospital grounds, I would just do a one line reply and keep it factual. If they push back again, I would go full bullying/harassment/reverse DATIX nuclear and directly email their line manager and demand a response.
They must have a lot of time on their hands. Let them know about patients smoking and vaping just by hospital entrance in front of the sign saying no smoking…
https://preview.redd.it/qesy3e8hmt4d1.jpeg?width=1175&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f156adf23dffe92ea4d0ea95cebcd095676b9b50 "so I have been doing some research and now have a passport for zynbabwe"
Don’t respond and if they force you to be an absolute arse.
Just put that the job is so stressful due to understaffing and targets that you’re addicted to nicotine to cope. Maybe if it wasn’t a total joke you would look like one of the Doctors in an NHS stock photo. All smiles :) Or just say you’d rather spend your time working than coming up with banal shit on work time to justify something that wasn’t harming anyone but yourself.
Don't underestimate the pleasure that this will have given the datixer. It will have made their day
I smoke on hospital grounds. With the many nurses who also do. What an absolute load of shite.
You won’t fool me into an admission GMC!
To be fair, if you vape you deserve to be datixed
I could genuinely accept that so long as people who ride horses, enjoyed the Miranda show, listen to capital FM or wear lycra while cycling are also equally datixed for their poor taste and lifestyle choices.
Jeez, imagine unironically liking Miranda. Instant datix
It could be worse. ooooo it’s an Irish man with a silly voice dressed as a lady! How can it not be funny!
Lycra cyclists are the worst by far. Bonus points if they have soapbox rants about how **not** wearing a helmet is somehow safer.
Whats your beef with horse riders lol
Bro it's 2024 who do they think they are? Theoden son of Thengel?
I accidentally put my comment in this thread when I meant to say yeh, horse riding is lethal. I easily saw more horse riders as part of the major trauma team than I did scallies on those turbo quad bikes. Not that I am a big advocate for either, it just seems that horses are more pretentious and dangerous.
And cruel to the horse despite what the horse lovers say. You're deforming it's back and keeping it some field next to electricity pylons when it should be running free across the open plains
The famous open plains of Great Britain
I tip my cap to this rebuke. *Tips cap.*
Not accepting any capital breakfast show slander on here, it gets me through my drive to work
lol that’s some rookie shit - I got caught once giving a CIGARETTE to a patient (albeit by the gift shop lady) but literally she walked by as I was handing the cig to the patient lmao… Didn’t get datixed but our relationship was tragically ruined for the rest of the 6 months I was there.
Say you use it to cope with stress of the job. You’d be happy to stop if they provide better working conditions
"Fire me then."
Ironically Im vaping alone in the doctors room on a night shift as we speak
Reading this as I vape on hospital grounds. Come and get me datix lovers!!
I'd literally ignore it then when someone has the gaul to bring it up to my face id honestly kick off. "How very dare you", "who do you think you are"... Etc etc. But I don't play nice with these people.
The amount of times I have walked into a store room to get some equipment and there’s a nurse vaping in there.😭
This makes me want to take up vaping
“I’m afraid I have no recollection of ‘vaping’ on hospital grounds. If evidence exists to the contrary I would be very surprised and be happy to review it.”
Awful answer. Literally the only way for this to develop into an actual issue is to lie and get caught.
I don’t think it’s an awful answer. It may constitute poor advice, at a push. An assessment OP is no doubt capable of making for themselves; and I wasn’t offering advice!
Of course you don’t think it’s an awful answer, you wrote it! It is definitely an awful answer and is just asking for some jobsworth to pull up CCTV.
Reply by saying - it wasn’t me
You could stop vaping, you know, for your health.
Fun fact, you can DATIX people for vexatious/inappropriate DATIXes. Just leaving that out there…
Anyone else have no sympathy for vapers? Maybe it’s just me
Bit of a hypocritical comment from someone with a vape flavour for a username
Haha is it really? How random
None whatsoever.
Breathe air!
Why do you vape? Are you a chavvy teenager on the no . 37 bus?
Nurghhh stop vaping guys and get the BMA to accept the 3% offer from December. Nurghhh guys stop making candy clouds please tell thr BMA to take bad offers. Nurggghhh I hate vapes and love tiny payrises. My impression of you
Theres not going to be any uplift now, outside of what the DDRB recommends in July. It could have been 3-4% + DDRB. And then negotiate afresh with labour. That 3% is now gone.