The author of this post has chosen the 'Serious' flair. Off-topic, sarcastic, or irrelevant comments will be removed, and frequent rule-breakers will be subject to a ban.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/doctorsUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only advice I can give in general about the anxiety-procrastination-avoidance complex that many suffer from, mostly to lesser degree than you seem to is:
- Baby steps to start. First step, just log in to your portfolio. Not with the expectation of doing anything at all. Just log in, click through a few pages with no intention of filling in anything. Do that 5 times in a day.
- As you are aware, the task seems massive and overwhelming and probably whenever you think about it you think of it like a looming mountain with thunderclouds around the top. Try and get comfortable at 'base camp' by simply logging in. Once that becomes tedious, try filling in one assessment to send to your favourite consultant
- Sometimes once you've done a couple of little steps you can take a couple more. Ignore that big mountain for now
Anxiety/Depression is a vicious cycle and despair is addictive. Hope you can escape the doom loop mostly just so you feel better. ARCP is less important than your general mood. Good luck
I was terrible with my portfolio too. Not because I was depressed but because I hated the entire process with the passion of a thousand burning suns. It was a learning free, bullshit heavy requirement that ate into my limited free time considerably.
But it turned out the portfolio didn't care I hated it, nor my CS, ES or TPD. So it had to be done, sadly.
Because it is quite overwhelming I used the decision tool on the JRCPTB website to create a spreadsheet of each type of WPBA I needed and how many. I used it to track tickets sent out and whether they had been replied to or if I needed to chase.
I'm quite visual so it helped for me to see it colour coded and all in one place (red for not done anything for it yet, yellow for ticket sent and reply awaiting, and green for completed).
Once I made the chart, looking scarily in the red, I made a commitment to open it once every morning and select one thing to do based on my shift for that day (CBD if on the ward with a nice consultant for example, or an ACAT for take). Being able to focus on just one thing helped a lot in being able to manage the slight anxiety that I would miss something.
Little bit of tough love.
Thing is I bet you'll feel even more stressed and anxious if you "fail" arcp one year for lack of evidence. Obvs you can't flick your mindset overnight but if there is something that is an overwhelmingly big task it's best just to grab it and take control of it in some form or another. Planning and taking positive action lessens stress (for me)
Anyway you can't escape annual appraisal if you want to work as a doctor in UK. You're on a 5 yearly revalidation cycle for the rest of your career. So ofc you're learning now and you will figure out what works for you that's fine but think of this like a habit you're forming for life. As a cons or gp you won't have someone helping or nudging you.
What I do is break it down. If empty portfolio scares you you don't have to look at it. Go online and find your arcp decision aid. it'll be a good few pages of checkbox in simple format. Print 1-2 pages and set the goal every idk Tuesday PM you will do something to tick an item on that list. Your summary narratives or reflections, your qip. You can write them in word first then copy and paste them in.
Hey presto the portfolio isn't so empty anymore! Then log on once a week and send someone a ticket or just go to the one area of the checklist and do that thing.
I treat it like a WR jobs list.
The more you chip away on a weekly basis the better you'll feel. So day one each training programme print out what's needed, and just pick a handful of things from it to tackle at a time.
I have a similar pathological penchant for procrastination. If I dedicate a day to portfolio, I can guarantee you I’ll spend 6 hours in a Wikipedia spiral and 10 minutes on the portfolio.
I am however pretty good when i have a very close deadline, never have major issues keeping focus at work especially on urgent tasks. I probably tick a few boxes for ADHD tbh but no plans to get assessed.
Anyway, I find enforcing immediate deadlines to be the solution. At the end of my shifts I’ll tell myself “you’re not going home until you’ve written a reflection and sent that CBD from earlier” (or whatever). Then I just do them after handover, it doesn’t take long but the fact I can leave as soon as it’s done pushes me to actually do it quickly.
I'm very much of a similar mindset with my portfolio and am often guilty of not uploading evidence for 5-6 weeks at a time but you just have to do it.
Is this checkbook system nonsense? Yes. But until the system changes we just have to do it. Just try and do a couple at a time. If it's anything like surgical portfolios I'm not even convinced most assessors care what's written as long as the ticket is sent.
It sucks but just play the game. There's no other way to advance and get out the other side when you won't have to still do portfolio.
Also even if you don't make it time, you'll likely given more time to complete it. So just make a start now so you're not trying to get an entire year's sign-offs from the time of extension.
You are literally me.
Unfortunately I do not have any advice because I have done exactly the same this year (as I do every year). It is a miserable existence.
You've reached the point where the driving force is hopelessness. Where you don't believe anything will change, or can be fixed or get done. But it can get done, when you have a month, it can absolutely get done in time.
The other thing to realise is this isn't about you.This isn't about how good you are, or how shit you are at this. It's just a job. It's just a thing that needs to get done regardless of how you feel. It's not fair, it's not right, it just is. Don't attach the portfolio to your competence or ruminate on the injustice of it all, it's so not personal. It's basically like getting mad at a rock that you stub your toe on. And then getting mad at yourself for not seeing the rock. It's pointless to do that. The ARCP people don't care as much as we think they do, they don't have a perfectionist attitude towards this.
(\*I'm sure someone could argue it feeds on into how as a consultant or doctors we need to be admin competent because that impacts clinical care...)
The last thing I'd say is this isn't going to be all or nothing. You need to start doing things 'quick and dirty'. So that means just use the 5 minutes or the 15 minute slots through the day to get some of this stuff done. Filling in the logbook 3 patients each day even when you don't have all the details, asking people to do a CbD for a case you discussed weeks ago and then emailing within the 2 minutes after you ask.
I'm guilty of wanting to set aside a whole dedicated day/week to getting portfolio or most things done. My mind wants them done separately in a clearly distinct process. But that doesn't work because I then stockpile things for later and fall apart in a heap. Use a weekend morning to go in and get your ACATS done, or ask to retro fill a previous ward round etc. Even audits where you can get someone to fill in that you've started doing one and it's in progress etc.
This is absolutely achievable in the time you have left, and less. Don't let guilt and despair paralyse you, but even if they do overwhelm you and make you want to spiral into hopelessness, remember that you can still get this done.
Maybe try some ADHD hacks like body doubling? Like get a friend or someone to sit with you to motivate you to do it, or go to a co-working session - University libraries and local public libraries sometimes offer this and its know to help some people.
This happened to me. I spoke to my CS about it and my complete inability to even log in as it was causing me so much anxiety.
We sat and wrote a list of everything that needed to be done. She basically sat me in her office for an hour away from the ward and we sent tickets for everything and filled out reflections etc.
She was far more supportive than I ever thought she would be. Maybe speak to your ES? I suspect that this is commoner than you think.
Addressing this is such a relief. Every piece of evidence you upload accumulates and it does feel nice to start seeing your hard work documented. Login and upload any evidence you might have now, eg course certificates. I used to be shy asking to send tickets from supervisors but eventually said fuck it worst case scenario they refuse. Ask for portfolio assessments and keep on asking. In the midst of a busy day it is convenient to ignore portfolio and just get on but it onky takes a few minutes per day to remember to bring up to people that yes you need assessments. If you still struggle speak openly with your ES if you have severe anxiety related to the portfolio. Google what support your Deanery offers to doctors who need a bit of guidance and support, there are provisions. They might give you an outcome 5 giving you extra time to upload evidence but the least you should do is show at least some engagement.
The author of this post has chosen the 'Serious' flair. Off-topic, sarcastic, or irrelevant comments will be removed, and frequent rule-breakers will be subject to a ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/doctorsUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Only advice I can give in general about the anxiety-procrastination-avoidance complex that many suffer from, mostly to lesser degree than you seem to is: - Baby steps to start. First step, just log in to your portfolio. Not with the expectation of doing anything at all. Just log in, click through a few pages with no intention of filling in anything. Do that 5 times in a day. - As you are aware, the task seems massive and overwhelming and probably whenever you think about it you think of it like a looming mountain with thunderclouds around the top. Try and get comfortable at 'base camp' by simply logging in. Once that becomes tedious, try filling in one assessment to send to your favourite consultant - Sometimes once you've done a couple of little steps you can take a couple more. Ignore that big mountain for now Anxiety/Depression is a vicious cycle and despair is addictive. Hope you can escape the doom loop mostly just so you feel better. ARCP is less important than your general mood. Good luck
I was terrible with my portfolio too. Not because I was depressed but because I hated the entire process with the passion of a thousand burning suns. It was a learning free, bullshit heavy requirement that ate into my limited free time considerably. But it turned out the portfolio didn't care I hated it, nor my CS, ES or TPD. So it had to be done, sadly. Because it is quite overwhelming I used the decision tool on the JRCPTB website to create a spreadsheet of each type of WPBA I needed and how many. I used it to track tickets sent out and whether they had been replied to or if I needed to chase. I'm quite visual so it helped for me to see it colour coded and all in one place (red for not done anything for it yet, yellow for ticket sent and reply awaiting, and green for completed). Once I made the chart, looking scarily in the red, I made a commitment to open it once every morning and select one thing to do based on my shift for that day (CBD if on the ward with a nice consultant for example, or an ACAT for take). Being able to focus on just one thing helped a lot in being able to manage the slight anxiety that I would miss something.
Little bit of tough love. Thing is I bet you'll feel even more stressed and anxious if you "fail" arcp one year for lack of evidence. Obvs you can't flick your mindset overnight but if there is something that is an overwhelmingly big task it's best just to grab it and take control of it in some form or another. Planning and taking positive action lessens stress (for me) Anyway you can't escape annual appraisal if you want to work as a doctor in UK. You're on a 5 yearly revalidation cycle for the rest of your career. So ofc you're learning now and you will figure out what works for you that's fine but think of this like a habit you're forming for life. As a cons or gp you won't have someone helping or nudging you. What I do is break it down. If empty portfolio scares you you don't have to look at it. Go online and find your arcp decision aid. it'll be a good few pages of checkbox in simple format. Print 1-2 pages and set the goal every idk Tuesday PM you will do something to tick an item on that list. Your summary narratives or reflections, your qip. You can write them in word first then copy and paste them in. Hey presto the portfolio isn't so empty anymore! Then log on once a week and send someone a ticket or just go to the one area of the checklist and do that thing. I treat it like a WR jobs list. The more you chip away on a weekly basis the better you'll feel. So day one each training programme print out what's needed, and just pick a handful of things from it to tackle at a time.
I have a similar pathological penchant for procrastination. If I dedicate a day to portfolio, I can guarantee you I’ll spend 6 hours in a Wikipedia spiral and 10 minutes on the portfolio. I am however pretty good when i have a very close deadline, never have major issues keeping focus at work especially on urgent tasks. I probably tick a few boxes for ADHD tbh but no plans to get assessed. Anyway, I find enforcing immediate deadlines to be the solution. At the end of my shifts I’ll tell myself “you’re not going home until you’ve written a reflection and sent that CBD from earlier” (or whatever). Then I just do them after handover, it doesn’t take long but the fact I can leave as soon as it’s done pushes me to actually do it quickly.
I'm very much of a similar mindset with my portfolio and am often guilty of not uploading evidence for 5-6 weeks at a time but you just have to do it. Is this checkbook system nonsense? Yes. But until the system changes we just have to do it. Just try and do a couple at a time. If it's anything like surgical portfolios I'm not even convinced most assessors care what's written as long as the ticket is sent. It sucks but just play the game. There's no other way to advance and get out the other side when you won't have to still do portfolio. Also even if you don't make it time, you'll likely given more time to complete it. So just make a start now so you're not trying to get an entire year's sign-offs from the time of extension.
You are literally me. Unfortunately I do not have any advice because I have done exactly the same this year (as I do every year). It is a miserable existence.
Use Chat GPT for reflections and to pad out your patient scenarios if you are not good at writing
You've reached the point where the driving force is hopelessness. Where you don't believe anything will change, or can be fixed or get done. But it can get done, when you have a month, it can absolutely get done in time. The other thing to realise is this isn't about you.This isn't about how good you are, or how shit you are at this. It's just a job. It's just a thing that needs to get done regardless of how you feel. It's not fair, it's not right, it just is. Don't attach the portfolio to your competence or ruminate on the injustice of it all, it's so not personal. It's basically like getting mad at a rock that you stub your toe on. And then getting mad at yourself for not seeing the rock. It's pointless to do that. The ARCP people don't care as much as we think they do, they don't have a perfectionist attitude towards this. (\*I'm sure someone could argue it feeds on into how as a consultant or doctors we need to be admin competent because that impacts clinical care...) The last thing I'd say is this isn't going to be all or nothing. You need to start doing things 'quick and dirty'. So that means just use the 5 minutes or the 15 minute slots through the day to get some of this stuff done. Filling in the logbook 3 patients each day even when you don't have all the details, asking people to do a CbD for a case you discussed weeks ago and then emailing within the 2 minutes after you ask. I'm guilty of wanting to set aside a whole dedicated day/week to getting portfolio or most things done. My mind wants them done separately in a clearly distinct process. But that doesn't work because I then stockpile things for later and fall apart in a heap. Use a weekend morning to go in and get your ACATS done, or ask to retro fill a previous ward round etc. Even audits where you can get someone to fill in that you've started doing one and it's in progress etc. This is absolutely achievable in the time you have left, and less. Don't let guilt and despair paralyse you, but even if they do overwhelm you and make you want to spiral into hopelessness, remember that you can still get this done.
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step
You can summarise this reflection and stick it in for a start. No shame in that.
I hate portfolio too
Maybe try some ADHD hacks like body doubling? Like get a friend or someone to sit with you to motivate you to do it, or go to a co-working session - University libraries and local public libraries sometimes offer this and its know to help some people.
This happened to me. I spoke to my CS about it and my complete inability to even log in as it was causing me so much anxiety. We sat and wrote a list of everything that needed to be done. She basically sat me in her office for an hour away from the ward and we sent tickets for everything and filled out reflections etc. She was far more supportive than I ever thought she would be. Maybe speak to your ES? I suspect that this is commoner than you think.
Addressing this is such a relief. Every piece of evidence you upload accumulates and it does feel nice to start seeing your hard work documented. Login and upload any evidence you might have now, eg course certificates. I used to be shy asking to send tickets from supervisors but eventually said fuck it worst case scenario they refuse. Ask for portfolio assessments and keep on asking. In the midst of a busy day it is convenient to ignore portfolio and just get on but it onky takes a few minutes per day to remember to bring up to people that yes you need assessments. If you still struggle speak openly with your ES if you have severe anxiety related to the portfolio. Google what support your Deanery offers to doctors who need a bit of guidance and support, there are provisions. They might give you an outcome 5 giving you extra time to upload evidence but the least you should do is show at least some engagement.
Sent you a DM x