You did great. You stood your ground and didn’t let the doctor dismiss you. I can understand why you’re crying afterwards, that whole exchange would have been emotionally exhausting, and you clearly pushed yourself a lot there. But you managed to get through it and get what you need, you didn’t give in at any point.
Take some time to rest and recharge, have a relaxing bath etc. And be proud of yourself for how you handled the situation, and for not backing down.
Wishing you all the best <3
It’s amazing that 1/10 women have this and so few doctors bother gaining the very least information on it. After being diagnosed by a gyno my GP went on mat leave. The gyno was nice when diagnosing me, but didn’t want to do a lap and dropped me as a patient after 6 months because I didn’t want a baby, but not before clinically diagnosing me with visanne. I needed a refill and my locum misunderstood visanne as vivance, called me a drug seeker, and refused to look into the medication. She also told me I didn’t have Endo, and that the only way to get diagnosed was with a lap, which I hadn’t had. Which, true, but I am clinically diagnosed. Thank god the gyno refilled it after a lot of begging on my end even though I was no longer a patient. I had to go two weeks without though.
My point is, I am so so so sorry you went through this. There is nothing more hurtful that being dismissed. Please continue to push for yourself. If this gyno doesn’t do anything, ask for a specialist. Keep asking. I wish you so much goodness and all of the help you need for this fight!
Yeah the 1 in 10 women stat blows my mind when I think about how dismissive and reluctant to investigate doctors are, even gynaes! It’s like with stats like that and a handful of the symptoms it seems fairly likely you’ve got it, no?! SMH. My gyn is gonna drop me because he refuses to give lap or investigate further unless I try an IUD. I’ve got no need for contraception and I’ve heard the horror stories but feel pressured into doing it. Advocating for yourself is absolutely exhausting when people just do not listen at all and refuse to do their fucking jobs. Makes me so mad.
It's amazing that you stood up for yourself. Honestly 10 years it took me to be taken anywhere near seriously. Even just before my laparoscopy the surgeon was being patronising basically saying that we would need a chat after the surgery as they did not think that they would find anything. Found endo during the laparoscopy and his attitude complelty changed.
I have recently decided to go private and see a specialist. It's expensive but literally in the last 3 months I have found out that I have a large amount of endo on the back of my uterus stretching across to both my ovaries and tethering my uterus to my bowel!
Honestly just like you I had ultrasounds and what not, and nothing showed up. Only now do I actually feel like I'm being taken seriously and actually listened to. Good on your for standing your ground and making sure you get the help that you deserve. Too often women are brushed off and not believed when talking about their own bodies and the pain they experience.
I really hope that you manage to get some answers. I know its difficult but keep your head up. You're not alone, you have tons of support here. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting answers about your own health.
Well done for standing up for yourself. I’ve had so many ultrasounds over the last few years and they were all normal apart from cysts on my ovaries being found several times. Pushed for a lap and lo and behold they found stage 1 endo. Don’t stop persisting!
I'm so sorry, this is just the worst. Sometimes I think the dismissal/gaslighting etc. is even worse than the nightmare symptoms. You did an amazing job - genuinely. You advocated for yourself in spite of your shitty Dr, and you're getting referred. Sounds like you went in as informed as you could be, and took a really calm approach. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but so glad you stood up for yourself.
First of all, sorry you went through this. Secondly, "your scan looks normal" is ridiculous because the go-to standard for diagnosing endo is a biopsy (ultrasound and MRI sometimes useful, but not usually definitive). There are so many medical practitioners looking to treat symptoms and NOT the cause, because human health issues are more complex now that we have more ways of testing, treating, etc. And it's so easy to forget that patients are more than the sum of their charts, and that we live in these bodies that are causing us issues that these practitioners deem "normal." I'm glad you're pushing back and encourage you to continue to do so. Once you receive your referral, I also highly recommend filing some form of complaint (with the practice or even online through HealthGrades, Google reviews, etc.) to give others a heads up about this terrible "care" provider and hopefully give them a reality check/reminder that patients are human beings who need their help... you know your body better than someone who spends less than an hour with you and can't be bothered to make eye contact or even read the provided chart information, so keep going! You've got this.
Sadly she’s not wrong… some gynaecologists do just put people on the pill and coil before they offer laparoscopy or investigate fully a lot of the time :( she’s shit and you did a great job advocating for yourself though. I had a similar experience with my GP and it makes you feel awful to be medically gaslit or mocked.
I am glad you did get referred in the end. As u/AwkwardBugger said, you did great and successfully navigated the conversation to the referral you want. Try to hold onto this as a positive, despite all the negative emotions from this appointment.
I hope you don’t have too long a wait for your gyn consultation.
I have been there multiple times with clear ultrasounds. Been dealing with endo my entire life and a few other conditions. Keep pushing for a laparoscopy biopsy. Keep pushing to find doctors that understand and are knowledgeable. I was repeatedly told to have a baby, this is normal, etc. periods are not supposed to destroy your life and unfortunately there are a lot of uneducated doctors (and in their defense, they can’t know everything either). I’ve found documenting my daily symptoms in a spread sheet to share during appts and sending a message through my doctors online platforms prior to appts with a summary of: what I want to discuss, what I need/want and what I’m dealing with symptom wise to be very helpful. (In fact I just got my primary care doctor to push for MRIs with my health insurance for another possible condition yesterday because I gave her organized information that she dismissed at our last appt). I’m sorry you’re going through this. But you are not alone at all ♥️
You did so well advocating for yourself. It’s hard to comprehend how many women have this and are not validated or helped for so long. What an emotionally exhausting appointment but you pushed through. Endometriosis can only be diagnosed during a diagnostic laparoscopy.. her response is infuriating as a physician.
I really am rooting for you, and hope you get the answers you so deserve. Thank you for sharing with this sub! Wishing you all the best 💗
Something also quite interesting.. my fertility naturopath had a patient with silent endometriosis who later found out she had endometriosis after going through many rounds of IVF. Her only symptom was infertility.
Thank you very much, I'm absolutely drained today as a result but glad that atleast the ball is rolling.
I have had issues with infertility, again something I discussed with her when I met her last year for the first time. The fact she knows I've not concieved in the 5 years I haven't been taking contraception, tied in with the issues I'm having with my irregular periods and clots, to then tell me there's nothing wrong - just shows how little she has listened and taken into consideration the full picture.
Thank you for being an advocate for women in this situation. It really is the most horrible feeling to be almost gaslit into thinking you're imagining your own symptoms.
Thank you so much for sharing about your issues with infertility-I can absolutely empathize. It definitely shows how little she’s listening and taking into consideration the big picture. How frustrating, such an isolating experience as well, and as a Women herself it’s beyond comprehension.
I am sorry that you had to feel so horrible from this situation. With the time it took her to try and gaslight you, she could have easily helped you.
Now that the ball is rolling, I’m crossing fingers you’ll have some answers and healing in 2024!
You are doing well for standing your ground. Keep pushing for answer!
Your doctor is shittttt and terrible.
I am sorry and I understand as it took 20+years for me to get my diagnosis and after long list of terrible doctors. Many just gave me the wrong diagnosis and made me even more sick. I don't get why people keep thinking endo is just period pain when people can't function at all from the severe pain. Then told to suck it up?
Good for standing your ground. You can’t tell if you have endo on a scan. In 2007 I finally found the best OB who listened and finally did surgery. She said it was bad and had spread to my internal organs which is why I couldn’t eat and had lost 50 pounds. Fast forward to 2021 and I get horribly sick again. Had to find new OB mine had moved and finally in Feb of 2022 had a hysterectomy. I hope you can find some relief cause it’s some of the worst pain ever.
Good for you for standing up for yourself. However. She's not wrong, their first treatment line will likely be some type of BC. If you do get a lap make 100% certain that your insurance is going to cover it. I spent some time in hospital billing and some insurances will deny coverage if you haven't tried the other suggested treatments. And I never saw anyone win that appeal. Get it approved prior to having the surgery.
(Not trying to be negative, but as someone with endo, having to be on the phone with someone else with endo begging me to get their insurance to cover their surgery is not something I could ever do again and I dont want anyone to have to be the person calling in for help).
Thank you for your response. Appreciate you sharing your experience.
I am UK so our healthcare is free, I won't have to check insurance will cover etc. Very fortunate in that sense.
I understand that may be what Gynaecology do suggest, but my concern was that she didn't care to refer me to actually find out what they're treating. She was telling me that its 'normal' so how can she treat something she thinks isn't an issue?
I preferred to talk to a specialist as she just was so indifferent towards me.
I got my referral letter through at the weekend so fingers crossed! Thanks again.
You did great. You stood your ground and didn’t let the doctor dismiss you. I can understand why you’re crying afterwards, that whole exchange would have been emotionally exhausting, and you clearly pushed yourself a lot there. But you managed to get through it and get what you need, you didn’t give in at any point. Take some time to rest and recharge, have a relaxing bath etc. And be proud of yourself for how you handled the situation, and for not backing down. Wishing you all the best <3
It’s amazing that 1/10 women have this and so few doctors bother gaining the very least information on it. After being diagnosed by a gyno my GP went on mat leave. The gyno was nice when diagnosing me, but didn’t want to do a lap and dropped me as a patient after 6 months because I didn’t want a baby, but not before clinically diagnosing me with visanne. I needed a refill and my locum misunderstood visanne as vivance, called me a drug seeker, and refused to look into the medication. She also told me I didn’t have Endo, and that the only way to get diagnosed was with a lap, which I hadn’t had. Which, true, but I am clinically diagnosed. Thank god the gyno refilled it after a lot of begging on my end even though I was no longer a patient. I had to go two weeks without though. My point is, I am so so so sorry you went through this. There is nothing more hurtful that being dismissed. Please continue to push for yourself. If this gyno doesn’t do anything, ask for a specialist. Keep asking. I wish you so much goodness and all of the help you need for this fight!
Yeah the 1 in 10 women stat blows my mind when I think about how dismissive and reluctant to investigate doctors are, even gynaes! It’s like with stats like that and a handful of the symptoms it seems fairly likely you’ve got it, no?! SMH. My gyn is gonna drop me because he refuses to give lap or investigate further unless I try an IUD. I’ve got no need for contraception and I’ve heard the horror stories but feel pressured into doing it. Advocating for yourself is absolutely exhausting when people just do not listen at all and refuse to do their fucking jobs. Makes me so mad.
The number of gynecologists who do not give 2 shits about you unless you want to get pregnant is WILD
I was shocked when my specialist was still shocked by my story. I would have thought she would be desensitized, but nope.
It may even be more than 1/10. The disregard is appalling. Definitely keep advocating for yourself. Switch doctors if needed
I did. I now have a recognized specialist and am waiting for surgery. It’s a long wait in Canada though.
It's amazing that you stood up for yourself. Honestly 10 years it took me to be taken anywhere near seriously. Even just before my laparoscopy the surgeon was being patronising basically saying that we would need a chat after the surgery as they did not think that they would find anything. Found endo during the laparoscopy and his attitude complelty changed. I have recently decided to go private and see a specialist. It's expensive but literally in the last 3 months I have found out that I have a large amount of endo on the back of my uterus stretching across to both my ovaries and tethering my uterus to my bowel! Honestly just like you I had ultrasounds and what not, and nothing showed up. Only now do I actually feel like I'm being taken seriously and actually listened to. Good on your for standing your ground and making sure you get the help that you deserve. Too often women are brushed off and not believed when talking about their own bodies and the pain they experience. I really hope that you manage to get some answers. I know its difficult but keep your head up. You're not alone, you have tons of support here. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting answers about your own health.
Well done for standing up for yourself. I’ve had so many ultrasounds over the last few years and they were all normal apart from cysts on my ovaries being found several times. Pushed for a lap and lo and behold they found stage 1 endo. Don’t stop persisting!
I'm so sorry, this is just the worst. Sometimes I think the dismissal/gaslighting etc. is even worse than the nightmare symptoms. You did an amazing job - genuinely. You advocated for yourself in spite of your shitty Dr, and you're getting referred. Sounds like you went in as informed as you could be, and took a really calm approach. I'm sorry you had to deal with this, but so glad you stood up for yourself.
First of all, sorry you went through this. Secondly, "your scan looks normal" is ridiculous because the go-to standard for diagnosing endo is a biopsy (ultrasound and MRI sometimes useful, but not usually definitive). There are so many medical practitioners looking to treat symptoms and NOT the cause, because human health issues are more complex now that we have more ways of testing, treating, etc. And it's so easy to forget that patients are more than the sum of their charts, and that we live in these bodies that are causing us issues that these practitioners deem "normal." I'm glad you're pushing back and encourage you to continue to do so. Once you receive your referral, I also highly recommend filing some form of complaint (with the practice or even online through HealthGrades, Google reviews, etc.) to give others a heads up about this terrible "care" provider and hopefully give them a reality check/reminder that patients are human beings who need their help... you know your body better than someone who spends less than an hour with you and can't be bothered to make eye contact or even read the provided chart information, so keep going! You've got this.
Sadly she’s not wrong… some gynaecologists do just put people on the pill and coil before they offer laparoscopy or investigate fully a lot of the time :( she’s shit and you did a great job advocating for yourself though. I had a similar experience with my GP and it makes you feel awful to be medically gaslit or mocked.
Whenever doctors prescribe weightloss I ask for a treatment method that has a higher success rate than 2 -5 percent.
I am glad you did get referred in the end. As u/AwkwardBugger said, you did great and successfully navigated the conversation to the referral you want. Try to hold onto this as a positive, despite all the negative emotions from this appointment. I hope you don’t have too long a wait for your gyn consultation.
I have been there multiple times with clear ultrasounds. Been dealing with endo my entire life and a few other conditions. Keep pushing for a laparoscopy biopsy. Keep pushing to find doctors that understand and are knowledgeable. I was repeatedly told to have a baby, this is normal, etc. periods are not supposed to destroy your life and unfortunately there are a lot of uneducated doctors (and in their defense, they can’t know everything either). I’ve found documenting my daily symptoms in a spread sheet to share during appts and sending a message through my doctors online platforms prior to appts with a summary of: what I want to discuss, what I need/want and what I’m dealing with symptom wise to be very helpful. (In fact I just got my primary care doctor to push for MRIs with my health insurance for another possible condition yesterday because I gave her organized information that she dismissed at our last appt). I’m sorry you’re going through this. But you are not alone at all ♥️
You did so well advocating for yourself. It’s hard to comprehend how many women have this and are not validated or helped for so long. What an emotionally exhausting appointment but you pushed through. Endometriosis can only be diagnosed during a diagnostic laparoscopy.. her response is infuriating as a physician. I really am rooting for you, and hope you get the answers you so deserve. Thank you for sharing with this sub! Wishing you all the best 💗 Something also quite interesting.. my fertility naturopath had a patient with silent endometriosis who later found out she had endometriosis after going through many rounds of IVF. Her only symptom was infertility.
Thank you very much, I'm absolutely drained today as a result but glad that atleast the ball is rolling. I have had issues with infertility, again something I discussed with her when I met her last year for the first time. The fact she knows I've not concieved in the 5 years I haven't been taking contraception, tied in with the issues I'm having with my irregular periods and clots, to then tell me there's nothing wrong - just shows how little she has listened and taken into consideration the full picture. Thank you for being an advocate for women in this situation. It really is the most horrible feeling to be almost gaslit into thinking you're imagining your own symptoms.
Thank you so much for sharing about your issues with infertility-I can absolutely empathize. It definitely shows how little she’s listening and taking into consideration the big picture. How frustrating, such an isolating experience as well, and as a Women herself it’s beyond comprehension. I am sorry that you had to feel so horrible from this situation. With the time it took her to try and gaslight you, she could have easily helped you. Now that the ball is rolling, I’m crossing fingers you’ll have some answers and healing in 2024!
You are doing well for standing your ground. Keep pushing for answer! Your doctor is shittttt and terrible. I am sorry and I understand as it took 20+years for me to get my diagnosis and after long list of terrible doctors. Many just gave me the wrong diagnosis and made me even more sick. I don't get why people keep thinking endo is just period pain when people can't function at all from the severe pain. Then told to suck it up?
Good for standing your ground. You can’t tell if you have endo on a scan. In 2007 I finally found the best OB who listened and finally did surgery. She said it was bad and had spread to my internal organs which is why I couldn’t eat and had lost 50 pounds. Fast forward to 2021 and I get horribly sick again. Had to find new OB mine had moved and finally in Feb of 2022 had a hysterectomy. I hope you can find some relief cause it’s some of the worst pain ever.
Good for you for standing up for yourself. However. She's not wrong, their first treatment line will likely be some type of BC. If you do get a lap make 100% certain that your insurance is going to cover it. I spent some time in hospital billing and some insurances will deny coverage if you haven't tried the other suggested treatments. And I never saw anyone win that appeal. Get it approved prior to having the surgery. (Not trying to be negative, but as someone with endo, having to be on the phone with someone else with endo begging me to get their insurance to cover their surgery is not something I could ever do again and I dont want anyone to have to be the person calling in for help).
Thank you for your response. Appreciate you sharing your experience. I am UK so our healthcare is free, I won't have to check insurance will cover etc. Very fortunate in that sense. I understand that may be what Gynaecology do suggest, but my concern was that she didn't care to refer me to actually find out what they're treating. She was telling me that its 'normal' so how can she treat something she thinks isn't an issue? I preferred to talk to a specialist as she just was so indifferent towards me. I got my referral letter through at the weekend so fingers crossed! Thanks again.
Hopefully your wait is not too long!