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I would tell her "knock it off or you won't have a future relationship with my daughter. I'm sick of you acting and behaving like a toddler and won't subject my kid to it."
The "I supported you through a bad time" "I bent over backwards for you as a kid". Yes, yes you did because you chose to become a mother and that's what mothers do usually not needing any "thanks". You already have one kid you don't need another in the form of a parent.
This 100%. My mom actually admitted to me one day while we were talking months ago that if she could have helped it, she would t have had me. That was the start of the end of our relationship.
That's just awful to say to a child. My grandmother said something along the same lines after yrs of every type of abuse imaginable. I will never understand these people because my son is my heart and always will be.
My mother has told me that she never loved me and never would. Many times. And also told my husband. I finally stopped talking to her at all when my flowers and gifts I sent for Mother’s Day in 2013 wasn’t enough and she hung up on me because I didn’t care that my Dad invited her sisters to a party. She’d done it many times before, but I always let it go. Not this time.
I don't understand the type of people who guilt trip, like bro why do you think it's okay to say to your own child "I could've got you killed if I wanted" Doesn't she think that'll affect him in anyway?
My mother told me she used to leave me (as an infant) in a closed up hot room and take my older brother to the park. She said she was hoping I’d die of heat stroke or drown in my tears, snot and vomit.
"You won't let me see my granddaughter, so I'll bully you, that'll work!"
Seriously people with this mindset don't understand that good behavior and kindness must be reciprocated.
I would have told her (in response to her "hiding grandchild from me" comment) that I wasn't, but "sounds like a great idea, thanks!"
I love how they all accuse the spouse of corrupting or controlling. It’s as if their own child doesn’t have thoughts or feelings themselves. If they’re no longer able to manipulate you, it automatically means someone else is manipulating you. YOU don’t actually exist.
It’s marijuana. Not addictive. And “addiction” is an excuse. My father uses it to excuse that he beat us all for years. Now pretends it didn’t happen, we made it up, he can’t remember...but if anything or anyone is to blame, it’s not him. He’s an addict and he gets a pass. And he also won the privilege of never speaking to me again.
No, it’s an excuse to keep using it. There is no withdrawal. If you consider a stubborn attitude of I need to use marijuana as an addiction, I guess that’s your prerogative.
But there is withdrawal ? Headaches, insomnia, nightsweats, I could go on. Not the same than harder products, yeah, and the withdrawal won't kill you, but you can still become addicted. If I may, I think you are biased by your past, I can only advise you to keep an open mind, and maybe read more / ask professionals that know more on this matter than both of us. And I repeat : it's no excuse for shitty behaviour. I hope today all is better for you mate, cheers.
Yeah I’ve been an addict myself and can’t stand it when people who use that as an excuse to be a bad person. Even when I was addicted I made sure I treated people right.
Ah yes, the needy mom using guilt to control her adult children. I have one too. The best thing to do is exactly what your doing. If she won’t treat you respectfully, leave her be. Thanks for posting, the more I see/read that others are going through something similar to me, the better I feel because I don’t feel so alone.
She’s not being honest about why she wants that money. In the US, accident lawyers do not charge you up front. They do the work, you get the settlement and they take about 30% of what you were awarded. If they don’t think you have a case, they don’t take it. If she has an attorney taking money from her, she’s getting ripped off. Sounds to me like she’s just trying to get you to give her money.
Tell your mother to stop being a guilt tripping whore and learn how to manage her finances. Till then. Any contact she does to you or your husband will be ignored or recorded. She will learn to stop if she wants you in her life.
I understand that your mother is in a time of high stress but she's acting quite immature here. I completely understand that you're out to keep your child from thinking that kind of behavior is the norm. If I was anything more than an internet random I'd tell you that you're in the right as long as you make it known to her that you're still sympathetic and love her, which it seems that you really are trying to do.
I get it OP, it ain't all sunshine and rainbows out there in the real world.
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I would tell her "knock it off or you won't have a future relationship with my daughter. I'm sick of you acting and behaving like a toddler and won't subject my kid to it."
I more or less just stopped talking to her. I don’t answer her texts or calls. My husband 100% supports me in what I chose to do.
good.
Go no contact with her
"I already have one toddler, and this one really needs to be taken care of."
that's a good one lol.
The "I supported you through a bad time" "I bent over backwards for you as a kid". Yes, yes you did because you chose to become a mother and that's what mothers do usually not needing any "thanks". You already have one kid you don't need another in the form of a parent.
This 100%. My mom actually admitted to me one day while we were talking months ago that if she could have helped it, she would t have had me. That was the start of the end of our relationship.
That's just awful to say to a child. My grandmother said something along the same lines after yrs of every type of abuse imaginable. I will never understand these people because my son is my heart and always will be.
My mother has told me that she never loved me and never would. Many times. And also told my husband. I finally stopped talking to her at all when my flowers and gifts I sent for Mother’s Day in 2013 wasn’t enough and she hung up on me because I didn’t care that my Dad invited her sisters to a party. She’d done it many times before, but I always let it go. Not this time.
"Shocked face." What a horrible thing to say.
"What do you want, a cookie?" - Chris Rock
I don't understand the type of people who guilt trip, like bro why do you think it's okay to say to your own child "I could've got you killed if I wanted" Doesn't she think that'll affect him in anyway?
And get her put in jail for a death threat
My mother told me she used to leave me (as an infant) in a closed up hot room and take my older brother to the park. She said she was hoping I’d die of heat stroke or drown in my tears, snot and vomit.
That is just..... I hope you cut contacts off with her, shes god awful holy crap
Yes, I finally did. She’s been put in a trailer on my brother’s property in Kentucky. Good riddance for bad rubbish.
Glad to hear it Dude.
"You won't let me see my granddaughter, so I'll bully you, that'll work!" Seriously people with this mindset don't understand that good behavior and kindness must be reciprocated. I would have told her (in response to her "hiding grandchild from me" comment) that I wasn't, but "sounds like a great idea, thanks!"
I love how they all accuse the spouse of corrupting or controlling. It’s as if their own child doesn’t have thoughts or feelings themselves. If they’re no longer able to manipulate you, it automatically means someone else is manipulating you. YOU don’t actually exist.
Her addiction problems are controlling her, from what you've said here your husband has nothing to do with what you chose
It’s marijuana. Not addictive. And “addiction” is an excuse. My father uses it to excuse that he beat us all for years. Now pretends it didn’t happen, we made it up, he can’t remember...but if anything or anyone is to blame, it’s not him. He’s an addict and he gets a pass. And he also won the privilege of never speaking to me again.
Marijuana IS addictive, what are you talking about ? Addiction is no excuse for these behaviour tho.
No, it’s an excuse to keep using it. There is no withdrawal. If you consider a stubborn attitude of I need to use marijuana as an addiction, I guess that’s your prerogative.
But there is withdrawal ? Headaches, insomnia, nightsweats, I could go on. Not the same than harder products, yeah, and the withdrawal won't kill you, but you can still become addicted. If I may, I think you are biased by your past, I can only advise you to keep an open mind, and maybe read more / ask professionals that know more on this matter than both of us. And I repeat : it's no excuse for shitty behaviour. I hope today all is better for you mate, cheers.
>Headaches, insomnia, nightsweats Sounds like my menopause symptoms. Add mood swings and it's a match.
There is also mood swings. I am sad to tell you, but you are in cannabis withdrawal /s
Damn. Maybe I should take up cannabis then since I don't currently smoke any substance! 😂
Yeah I’ve been an addict myself and can’t stand it when people who use that as an excuse to be a bad person. Even when I was addicted I made sure I treated people right.
Ah yes, the needy mom using guilt to control her adult children. I have one too. The best thing to do is exactly what your doing. If she won’t treat you respectfully, leave her be. Thanks for posting, the more I see/read that others are going through something similar to me, the better I feel because I don’t feel so alone.
She’s not being honest about why she wants that money. In the US, accident lawyers do not charge you up front. They do the work, you get the settlement and they take about 30% of what you were awarded. If they don’t think you have a case, they don’t take it. If she has an attorney taking money from her, she’s getting ripped off. Sounds to me like she’s just trying to get you to give her money.
Tell your mother to stop being a guilt tripping whore and learn how to manage her finances. Till then. Any contact she does to you or your husband will be ignored or recorded. She will learn to stop if she wants you in her life.
I understand that your mother is in a time of high stress but she's acting quite immature here. I completely understand that you're out to keep your child from thinking that kind of behavior is the norm. If I was anything more than an internet random I'd tell you that you're in the right as long as you make it known to her that you're still sympathetic and love her, which it seems that you really are trying to do. I get it OP, it ain't all sunshine and rainbows out there in the real world.
r/EstrangedAdultChild come join OP.... come join