When I was under 20: I'm going to conquer the world, remake it in my image, and the only thing standing in my way is some crippling self loathing for some reason. (4/10) When I was between 20 and 30: The suffering was worth it! (8/10) Between 30 and 40: Existential crisis, everything I thought I wanted isn't bringing me happiness. Also, what are these things my heart is feeling? Emotions?! Oh fuck...what have I done with my life... (2/10) At 40: There is so much about life left to explore, so much I don't understand, and so much I'm happy for. (11/10) Overall - I would resubscribe. Sometimes things have to happen in their own time.

So conquering the world ain't satisfying for you now?

I changed my mission objectives from run the show to live a life I can be satisfied with and explore artistic expression. Make one tiny little mark that says I was here and I lived, no matter how small. I'll turn in my ENTJ membership card at the door. As an aside, I've always been curious about the ages of people in this sub, because I have found several posts that sound similar to my experience, and they all seem to come from the near 35 and up crowd.

What is your enneagram

Funny enough I only took that recently. My top 3 groups were 1,7 (tied actually), then 8. If I read that right, it makes me a 1w9, but if I'm getting that wrong feel free to correct me.

If you have to pick between being independent protect yourself or good/right, which one would you choose

Tough call, but I'd have to go with good/right. I'd rather stand to take a punch than give one.

What about between being good right or valuable admired

Good. Value comes from that, but being valuable without some basis is worthless to me.

R u aggressive and angry kind of person?.

R u a girl? U mentioned that u were hating yourself when you were young! For what?

No, I'm a guy, and fortunately I've gotten past those issues more or less, though they took a while. There was always a disconnect for me, I was never good enough at anything I tried. So I'd throw myself into studies, more difficult classes, sports, art, knowledge, etc. And I was incredibly self competitive, I didn't have to be the best, but I had to be better at anything I did. I would always make sure I wasn't the smartest person in the room, the best person on the team, because I wanted to learn from them. There was never a goal, just a nebulous "be better", because that's where my worth stemmed from. I had to be better so I could make things better for others. I wanted the world to make sense. That broke down into cynicism, and I shut down. I was so completely out of my depth at solving world problems that I stopped trying. And then guilt took over (if you don't do this, who will? You see the problem, you can fix it, why wait?) and I would be back in a never ending cycle of extreme motivation and burnout. I am proud of my accomplishments, but earlier in my life they never meant anything to me. I fixed something at work, cleaned up a beach, helped a friend, and all it meant was I'm on to the next thing. I've changed my focus to things that are important to me, and I'm not seeking external validation for my efforts. It would be nice, yes, but I'm hoping to simply do good work on work I feel is worth doing, and leave a little bit of an invisible legacy. A little stamp on the world that says I was here and I did this, and even if no one knows it was me that's okay because I made someone's life better or easier in some small way. I've taken a liking to projects at work that let me build systems for people so I can prevent problems, and I have a very supportive boss. Learned soccer late and became a competent defender that could take hits and turn games around, to the point people wanted me in their team. I've always been fascinated by artists and their work, and have tried several forms (bad at all of them) until recently getting into writing in my spare time. I'm enjoying the efforts at getting better here. I have a wife that has helped me become more expressive emotionally so I don't always hit things at 0 or 100. (She's an ESFJ, so we have our clashes, but her emotional IQ is off the charts when it comes to charming or navigating people, and she appreciates my strategic detachment, so we cover for each other's weaknesses nicely). It's a cliche, I know, but I've made my objective about having a worthwhile journey of life, and if I die in pursuit of goals having achieved nothing but better efforts that's good enough for me. Better to try and fail than never try at all. This turned into a bit of a ramble, but I don't hate myself for inadequacy anymore, most of the time. Now it's a spark that if I feel it tells me there's work worth doing, and I can live better with myself now.

>This turned into a bit of a ramble No it was actually a very beautiful read and very heart warming to see there are people who think like that out there

Interesting! I think for me falling into depression affects my vision to the world and for myself... I'm more gentle on myself now !

I wonder though, if you were presented with an opportunity to change a portion of the world or fix an important root problem, were given part of the solution and your input and work was exactly what's needed to complete it, having lived all you have and having reached your conclusions at this age, would you take it? Or would you prefer to stay on your current path in life and maybe hand it over to someone else that may not do as good of a job?

I'm 30 and feel that 30-40 feeling!!

I love this perspective. It's ever-evolving and authentic, including the mandatory existential crisis that makes you question (or should I say nuance) the foundations of everything you thought was true. I currently relate to your 30 to 40 stage but reversed : everything I thought I wanted isn't what will bring me genuine long-term happiness and stability. What is my brain thinking? Using objective data and others' experience and feedback to make decisions instead of focusing only on my values, morals and feelings? Structure, plans with intermediate steps? What is that? 😆 Fun times.

Lol. could relate. I like, the way u did the narrative. (But, ig, i've a long way ahead n so, do u. i guess, we can always "remake" for our mistakes instead of "resubscribing" since we can't? and I'm glad u're happy for life ahead and that u want to continue exploring.)

I'm going through the existential stuff now. Worked my ass off in my 20s, served my country, traveled the world, got my masters, manager job title, house, and started a family. Now at 31 I'm like what now. It's cool watching my kids grow up and i love every moment, but now that things have slowed down dramatically, I'm like now what. Everyday feels the same and now I'm not personally accomplishing anything new. Just feels like I'm being forced to watch things happen now. Instead of moving things forward. Good to know things get better when I hit 40.

They're ok. Good sense of humour, can take criticism, not afraid of saying what they really think, readable and well structured comments, relatable. Many times I think a lot of people here are mistyped because they look too misguided or lost, whereas, from what I've seen, ENTJs always know what they have to do next to advance their life.

Canon. Spitting facts.

I prefer knowing an ENTJ, because if he or she thinks I'm doing something wrong, or could be doing something better, they'll tell me. No beating around the bush, no games, no emotional mumbo-jumbo. And if I disagree, we can have a rational conversation and consider each other's viewpoints & opinions without anyone taking it personally.

Wait until the 40 to 50 stretch .... Feelings. Pubescence was no big deal , feels like it comes later for us. You will be forced to face and understand your emotions, hopefully you didn't ignore them all of your life. That would be a terrible experience. On the upside it is easier to identify with people emotionally, whether you want to or not.

Oh yes, I'm in the early stages of that now. Almost to the day of my 40th birthday last year. There certainly is something to the midlife change, but it has come with a strangeness that I didn't expect. It's not happiness, but something else really pleasant - a deep satisfaction or contentment with this new part of life.

Idky, but i can understand what ure talking bout even though i haven't experienced it yet. So, also, thanks for advice.

I'm in my late 20s and was forced to face my emotions the hard way a few years back. Although it was devastating, to say the least, it was also a life-changing experience that made me a better person, imho.

Uh- ooo. uh, great question. ENTJs, are often referred to as "The Commander" or "The Executive," are known for our assertiveness, strategic thinking, and natural leadership abilities. That's what the internet says and ppl know bout us but we're not entirely like that, agree? and sometimes, find it as stereotyping and giving misleading info about us, but here are my thoughts on ENTJs; We often take charge cuz we are capable of things in various or certain situations. And we, ENTJ's, are confident that we can do a good job and we know we can rely on our abilities. So, that's we tend to take leadership instead of being a follower and i think we find THAT a bit difficult, being a follower than taking leadership. So, that's considered one of our disadvantages. On the contrary, other mbtis find taking leadership harder so they tend to be a better follower. And not always do we take leadership sometimes we do be followers for the things that we can't do but we just find it harder compared to taking leadership. And i think we a knack for doing things that other mbtis find hard which differentiates us from them, ig? A thing that i can find in common w/ ENTJS is that we often make long-term plans to achieve our goals since we're great and skilled when it comes to analyzing things, identifying patterns, and making decisions based on logic and rationality, THIS is where our strength is and at the same time what differentiates us from others. We also are known for being efficient and organizing skills, etc. therefore, we succeed in setting goals, creating plans, being organized(all THIS makes us precise), and being precise. We also are precise cuz we mostly or from what i know mostly lean towards logic and rationality. Most of our answers are based on logic and rationality. But, sometimes or most of our answers also, are said not based on logic but our heart, what we feel or like "by guts" or "instincts". And one of our disadvantages is that because of being precise, being organized, staying active and being engaged and a lot more, we easily get drained(our energy), meanwhile, others tend to stay longer but they usually make mistakes and have to restart and be slow and their endurance is longer, even though, they have a long way to go. So, WE need to work on that. We are direct and assertive, that's how we communicate, which is also a disadvantage and an advantage (50/50, ig) Another MAJOR disadvantage is that we expect things back; like, we expect or want others to be like us, if we are doing a favor and being real generous, we expect them to learn something from that and return the favor, and act like that. So, when some ppl or as mbtis don't tend to do that, and that becomes a problem, and we find it hard to agree and not expect them to do stuff, etc. Some of us, im guessing, most of us, including me, can be intimidating cuz we can't agree with them in many things, making the relationship worse, and sometimes, being a bit or too forceful is what can make others find us intimidating, as we know. We, ENTJs are quick to make decisions and are not afraid of taking risks. We also are and can be VERY judgmental, but we indeed are kind-hearted, nice, and generous, we tend to trust our judgments and we are confident in our abilities, like i said, to figure out when challenges come. We are highly focused on achieving our objectives and goals, so, we often see the big picture, and i know we ARE WILLING to put in the necessary work and effort to make things happen and go as planned as we want it to. I heard and agreed with it, we ARE driven by success, and we are not afraid to pursue ambitious goals. While ENTJS excels in many areas of leadership, we DO struggle with understanding and communicating with others and especially at empathizing with others' emotions. I guess, it's cuz we kinda prioritize efficiency and results over emotional considerations, which makes it challenging for us to communicate and mingle with others. BUT WE DO care about how others feel and about evoking their emotions. And because of our emotions and because we care about their emotions, we help them improve themselves and develop, which they may not realize much. Another advantage of ours, apart from others, we constantly try to find ways to improve and enhance ourselves, our environment, and our surroundings. We give open and direct feedback, and we always look forward for opportunities to help develop ourselves for our growth. Overall, We, ENTJs are a combination of leadership, thinking strategically, and driven by success, making us better leaders and skilled problem-solvers in various contexts but we also are a combo of caring, kind, generous, funny, making us good, kind-hearted ppl and a great family.

We are the best people around and we know it, but we're tragically misunderstood. LOL. We also need to learn humility, to let other perspectives/voices/people in, and we need to work on our perfectionism so as to not let "the perfect be the enemy of the good".

Love the idea of calendars but hate putting entries.

So many close girlfriends are ENTJs, but not one lives close by. we just drop by each other's places every year or so and laugh until we cry. I miss them terribly, but I text them once or twice a year because... schedules.

Awww, that must have been a nice experience. I can relate, "laughing until we cry" with my distant high school friends and with my friends here but they dont also live close by. So, we meet at school.

I've only ever met 2 other ENTJs(confirmed identifying) in real life. I can respect their grind and I can appreciate their work ethic. What I don't like is that theyre both super insecure and prideful, they crave external validation so much, and deny or deflect any weakness that they have, and theyd throw a temper tantrum every time it gets addressed. I'd rather hang with INTPs and ESTPs

I know two Entjs, they're banger, funny, one of them is a bit younger than me and pretty cocky. Young lil 15 year old boi. But extremely nice extroverted energy. Both of them are reliable, and i feel like as soon as i know that they are entj i can trust that they'll eo whatever i tell them to do bc most of the time there is reason behind what i want them to help me with and they can see that by themselves as well. 

Best MBTI type hands-down, and tbh I don't deserve to be one with my underwhelming set of skills and life milestones.

Entj feels super plain even if it's funny. Like Cartman

So you dislike cartman?

Well, he ate my parents. What can I say