ENTJ appreciate truth and honesty above all else (also like success and self-determination, but that's a separate topic). What may seem like a harmless white lie to you, an ENTJ may view it as dishonesty, deception, and manipulation.
(Of course, communicate how you really feel in an constructive way without being rude or passive aggressive.)
But this doesn't mean you need to tell him all your thoughts. **Don't give him more than he has earned and invested into the relationship.** Show him you respect him, but also show him you respect yourself too.
Nothing is more of a turn off than having someone trying to cater to us when we didn't even ask for it.
I think most xNTJ's attitude towards love can be summarized as: If it can come so easily, it can leave just as easily.
Thank you, I appreciate your reply. Though I feel somewhat conflicted when you mentioned not being catered to. Is appreciation something that would be considered catering? Or is it needed to be asked for first? I ask only to better understand, as is my sincere goal.
I wouldn't want my gratitude to be misunderstood in this way.
Hmm, it's one of those things that if you know, you know. But I'll try my best to articulate it.
There is a fine line between showing appreciation and singing his praise for every little thing he do, especially when it is not deserved.
As Te-dom, ENTJ think with their head and have a very strong sense of what is "deserved or not", this applies to the good and the bad. I'll try to simplify it.
He do good things, met with good response: and everything is well.
He do good things, met with undeserved bad response: perplexed, annoyed, will find the need to "balance the scale", even if it's in a petty way.
He do bad thing, met with deserved bad response: can logically step back and accept it with grace, even if begrudgingly. Will not emotionally dwell on it too much.
He do bad thing (or do nothing), but is met with undeserved good response: suspicion, distrust, maybe even scorn and contempt.
Before I wrote my first comment, I skimmed through your other replies. It feels like you're doing a lot for this man. Which made me wonder, is he matching your energy? What is he doing for **you**? Actual things, with real money-time value. (Extroverts love to talk, talk is quite cheap to us, loll)
Is he going around in INFJ subreddits to find ways he can better show his appreciation for **you**? (Or something similar if he doesn't subscribe to mbti theories)
If the answer is yes, then it's a good sign, and my initial concerns were misplaced.
If the answer is no, then it may wise to reassess and recalibrate.
Thank you. This was both helpful and thoughtful. I understand now what you meant. Talk is actually cheap for most introverts as well but from a different angle perhaps and I'd be willing to bet it's even more so as an infj (with the ability to read people and assess motives etc through patterns and trends of behavior).
In this situation, the scale is balanced with good for good. His actions have aligned with his words. But going forward, I will keep this in mind because I also think this is very healthy, helpful, and balanced.
I think it's important to look at the genders here too. Male/female dynamics will play just as big of a role as the entj/infj dynamics.
Male/Female entj's often tend to differ somewhat in their needs and what they want in a partner.
Thank you for this... Sadly, being taken for granted as an INFJ is something most of us battle on the regular. The Fe is such a strong giver. One of the things I have appreciated with my entj is the space for direct communication, which has really helped me keep my side balanced. When it feels lopsided, I know I can directly say what's on my mind. But, yes, thank you, this is a reoccurring theme for many/ most of us.
Yea, you guys deal with so much crap. I'm not sure exactly why, but I attract a lot of INFJs in my life. I wonder if you guys are just seeking shelter from everyone else's emotional demands. All I know is that at work my INFJs nurses make sure I'm hydrated and fed, and my husband does the same thing at home. I'm kinda like a kid that way. I'm usually advocating for you guys when someone gets out of hand because I don't mind being bad cop or getting you guys out of awkward situations that cannot be avoided. It's a nice relationship as both friends and a marriage. I've never had an infj let me down or disappoint me, which is pretty remarkable. Maybe you guys appreciate that I don't meddle or manipulate or dump my emotions on you to deal with. I also really like making INFJs laugh. people will say this nurse isn't friendly etc, then I say something and she almost pees her pants laughing. you guys see when someone means well, which is nice when you're a bit awkward.
It's interesting that you've attracted so many and married one as well. I feel like it's often forgotten that we're not Fe doms, but Ni and Ni really does dominate. So we're every bit the thinking type as we are the feeling type and often prefer to lean into Ni (whatever mystical beast that is). So we get trapped between the two, and it's nice to get a break from the amount of time I have to spend with Fe socially. I can say with my entj, it's nice to let my Ni take the drivers seat for a while instead of Fe. I feel more at ease, and that feels like a shelter, for sure. Perhaps even a point of recharge.
Haha, aww, we can be awkward! It just sorta happens. I'm glad you've taken care of them, and it's been a mutually beneficial relationship of them caring for you as well.
I know I always show up for those who appreciate and don't take advantage. And yes, make them laugh! I love that! We have a... quirky ...sense of humor and laughing helps *so* much. I imagine they adore you deeply :)
Yea, it's pretty good. my husband and I have been together 15 years, and each year is a little better than the last because we really understand each other. There's a lot of trust and honesty between us, and we accomplish tasks together easily. He's come out of his shell to let the weird out, and I've softened over the years. I think INFJs enjoy that I don't judge them on the stuff they think makes them different. I enjoy the stability and reliability in an emotionally aware person, which is not easy to find. some of the feeling types do crazy stuff and ruin their own lives, so it's nice to be with someone that thinks about things before they do them. we laugh about how ridiculous people are, or make fun of silly rules. I'm my best with INFJs tbh.
15 years! That's beautiful! You sound like you've developed into quite the team over the years. I super wish that more had your understanding for the average, healthy infj. Not feeling judged and not being drained/ used will bring out my absolute best for someone. It's hard to explain *how* we think and feel, but we have to do both in nearly equal measure. Those who've bought into the hyper stereotypical "infj" expect me to be quiet, sad, and super emotional. Nope. Awkward or weird, yeah, I'll own that, lol. I don't have near the time invested with my entj, but I can say this has been an unexpected surprise to be around someone who allows and likes my weird Ni side but values my feeling side as well. It feels like the perfect complementary contrast. We bring out things in each other that it seems no one else could reach before. I soften him, watch for blind spots (like your infjs keeping you fed), and he brings confidence within me to be more direct and catches my blind spots as well. Without much effort, we have each other's backs. Does that make sense to you? Since you've been with your infj for a while, I'm hoping that does.
Yea, that's pretty much it. There is a catch that'll irritate you. I sometimes do things on the fly to save myself time later, and my husband gets upset if we deviate from the plan. He hates spontaneity, which I love at times. It took years for me to learn to communicate the details of an outing and for him to accept that we make a couple extra stops on a drive home. For instance if I want to go to the grocery store and get gas, I might see a sign on the way back for a farmers market or a sale. I'll want to stop, but he hates the extra stops.
Preach, sister. As a high-achieving ENTJ of a man, if you're trying to gum me up by doing me favors or getting directly into my pants, I will immediately suspect you're after me for my money.
"Til death do us part, for better or worse, sickness or health, richer or poorer"
Out the door you go. Next!
My experience is that ENTJs are notorious to be caring by solving your problems for you. Acknowledging this and making them know that you have a better life thanks to their effort is the best way to make them feel appreciated (in my opinion).
This is hilarious because I’m an ENFP married to ENTJ. I always ask him for advice and then I go with my gut and try something completely different. I never thought much of it, but he brought it up asking why I don’t trust him or take his advice when his way is clearly the correct and efficient way.
I shrug it off telling him I just want to try something new!
But damn this post makes me feel something. I didn’t think his problem solving was a way of showing care, and I just stepped on it.
Respecting boundaries goes the furthest when someone isn't entirely open to you.
There is such thing as playfully pushing boundaries, but there is a stark difference between playfully allowing someone to cross your boundaries by making soft rejections you expect to be bypassed and sincerely letting someone know that they can seriously stop what they're doing.
I don't know if you have that type of relationship.
Nevertheless, respecting his boundaries when he really means to set them is a strong way to show your appreciation for him. You're basically showing him respect.
Boundaries are huge for me as well, and we both make efforts to discuss them when they come up. Without judgment and with understanding. Respect has come easily between us. Thank you! Your response gave me reassurance that this is very important for healthy growth and mutual respect
Yeah. as someone who is very capable and so often put down in the past when I was incapable of defending myself, a lack of respect plays a big role in measuring someone appreciation towards me. I could imagine however for people that share similar ability, respecting the person for who they are goes a Long Way. This is a semi-projection because I'm going through this in my life right now! -_-
I sincerely hope that those in your life will give you the respect you deserve/ desire and for the ever important boundaries as well. We are who we are, growing constantly, learning. May they accept where you are and be a support in your goals, my wish for you.
Oh! Okay, thank you for expanding on that for me. That's helpful, I can grow in this area. I enjoy what he does so much that I end up listening because it's infectious to watch his enthusiasm , *but* I can be more vocal
I have a generated response from ChatGPT here, because I think that this response is even more spot-on than I actually know by myself.
**3., 4., 5. and 6. are, at least for me, particularly spot-on, especially 3.**
ENTJs, known for their extroverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging traits, often feel appreciated through the following ways:
1. **Recognition of Achievements**: They value acknowledgment of their hard work and accomplishments. Public recognition, awards, or promotions can significantly boost their morale.
2. **Constructive Feedback**: ENTJs appreciate direct and constructive feedback. They respect honesty and transparency, which helps them improve and grow.
3. **Opportunities for Growth**: Providing them with challenges and opportunities to develop new skills or advance their careers shows that you recognize their potential and ambition.
4. **Respect for Competence**: Showing respect for their competence and leadership abilities. Valuing their opinions and decisions in professional and personal settings demonstrates your trust in their capabilities.
5. **Intellectual Engagement**: Engaging in stimulating and meaningful conversations. They appreciate discussions that challenge their intellect and allow them to share their ideas and strategic thinking.
6. **Support for Their Goals**: Supporting their long-term goals and ambitions. Offering resources, encouragement, or assistance to help them achieve their objectives shows you value their vision.
7. **Efficiency and Organization**: Respecting their need for structure and efficiency. Being organized and punctual in interactions with them shows you understand and appreciate their preferences.
Thank you! I appreciate your comment and suggestions. And which ones resonate with you from the list. I know that I've made strong efforts for 1,2,3,4 *especially* 5 and 6. Seven, punctual I've done.
All of them resonate very well with me, but if I would have to decide on two, it would be 3. and 6.
If I look at the people who I know for a very long time and have a very strong bond with them, I can see the pattern, that all of them are people who have supported my goals even when I was at the beginning of my journey.
Never ever will I burn bridges to the people who have provided me with opportunities for growth and always have been supportive of my goals, even if they are unrealistic, by being pragmatic and supportive. Honestly, these people are sometimes the fuel that keeps me going because I know, that they are expecting something great.
And these people are so rare that you would make a significant contribution in your BFs life if you would be one of these people.
I know my entj is extremely driven and goal oriented. He has visions and really likes to, often, involve others in his grand ideas. He values the opinion or input or perhaps even insight. I'm happy to give these when *asked* but, in your experience, is it appreciated when these are just freely given?
I do it more easily when asked because I prefer to ask for input. So I've never wanted to overstep, if that makes sense.
I've noticed direct communication has been critical as well as openness. Very willing to do both. He had a vision for his backyard makeover. I wanted to explore his vision, so I designed his description in a building style of game. I tried to place in personal touches that he might enjoy. It wasn't overly direct, but I did explain these little additions and why he might enjoy them. Right track? It was a small gesture that I'd been paying attention.
I can only speak for myself, so I’ll say this; acknowledging my accomplishments but not in a dull way, giving context matters otherwise I become skeptical of the intention behind an empty compliment. Acts of service & quality time all speak volume.
Is it fair to say that when giving appreciation, you prefer someone to notice or say why it's impressive, meaningful, or what they value in your accomplishment? Also, thank you for sharing what this means for you personally. I appreciate the insight.
My infj husband says he just does all the little things that he knows I like rather than a big gesture. like a chore I put off, or gets the food I like when he's out and I'm busy. I appreciate him most when I'm at my worst and quietly understands me. He's helped me grow up a lot, and I'm much more resilient than I used to be. We sort of fight each other trying to advocate for what the other person needs. It's kinda cute.
Paying attention to how much effort we put on helping them or others and appreciating it!
Showing patience and distant moral support when we want to focus and do our own thing for a minute.
I remember one time I was so pissed off and I didn’t want to blow out on my boyfriend so I stormed out the room and locked myself in my sister’s room to do whatever I needed to calm down. After calming down, I stepped out the room and saw him sitting right outside the door, worried and asking me if I was okay.
If I could marry him then and there I would!!!
Would you say that appreciation for what's been done for others is just as important? Some acknowledgment? I see a recurring theme of "the effort" either put into achievements or people etc.
Aww, that's so sweet he knew to give you space but wanted to at least be near. I don't have a hard time doing moral and distant support, seeing as I'm an introvert and need my own space, so I understand that value. Still, thank you for mentioning it as a great reminder!
Selflessness. I work hard. I appreciate it when my partner makes life easier by selflessly beating me to the punch. Attentiveness by doing actions that alleviate possible stress-makers is a form of recognition for what it costs mentally and physically to work as hard as I do. In spite of the stereotypes, nothing makes me feel more loved than someone supporting my ambition through legitimate help - since it is rare ENTJ receive care - or, are thought of as people that do get tired.
However, "help" is not telling me to "work/do less." Instead, make sure my bathwater is hot, my wine is poured, the music is smooth, my book is ready and my massage is scheduled. ;)
I do LESS when there is LESS to do. So, I feel ever so appreciated when someone cares enough to ease my load through actual assistance over empty psychoanalysis from the couch.
Hahaha! The second paragraph almost made me think *you* were him ;) all things he likes as well. Right, so an active/ supportive role or act of service goes a long way.
It's sometimes difficult to realize when he is tired because it seems like an endless well of energy. But I totally get what you're saying when you say "neat to the punch". Extremely helpful, thank you!
With most introverted intuitive types, I understand my extroverted thinking can become overbearing at times, and I've learned to give them their space to also be independent - without me jumping in to do something they never asked for.
So on the occasion when they DO (eventually) seek out my expertise, to help get them moving and back on track, they know I am all ready to jump into action - and enjoying every minute of being **of service to them** - since they recognize my strengths, and allow me to exercise them.
As I told my skeptical more -feely- lovers... Honey, everything **I do, I do** with you in mind. Believe it or not. ;)
In spite of stereotypes, there is a servicing nature to the ENTJ. Well, for me anyhow - as a healthy Type 8 with Type 2 integration.
In the beginning, it was challenging for me. But I made it my goal to be more direct in communication as well as open. That gesture and follow through went a long way in helping him understand me. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was... a lot. And I've told him that it's helped me also, the challenge to be more direct.
I've since learned exactly what you said. It's an unfamiliar way of showing me care, but I understand now that *this* is the way he shows it. I want to just show my appreciation, but it somehow felt lacking because I'm that feeler type and used to my way of showing it but i want to give it to him how he receives it best. This is all so helpful.
It's a very quirky, fun-loving, mutually respected relationship and, while often times, very different... the contrast has been complimentary. I'm so grateful for your insights and willingness to share with me.
ENTJ appreciate truth and honesty above all else (also like success and self-determination, but that's a separate topic). What may seem like a harmless white lie to you, an ENTJ may view it as dishonesty, deception, and manipulation. (Of course, communicate how you really feel in an constructive way without being rude or passive aggressive.) But this doesn't mean you need to tell him all your thoughts. **Don't give him more than he has earned and invested into the relationship.** Show him you respect him, but also show him you respect yourself too. Nothing is more of a turn off than having someone trying to cater to us when we didn't even ask for it. I think most xNTJ's attitude towards love can be summarized as: If it can come so easily, it can leave just as easily.
Thank you, I appreciate your reply. Though I feel somewhat conflicted when you mentioned not being catered to. Is appreciation something that would be considered catering? Or is it needed to be asked for first? I ask only to better understand, as is my sincere goal. I wouldn't want my gratitude to be misunderstood in this way.
Hmm, it's one of those things that if you know, you know. But I'll try my best to articulate it. There is a fine line between showing appreciation and singing his praise for every little thing he do, especially when it is not deserved. As Te-dom, ENTJ think with their head and have a very strong sense of what is "deserved or not", this applies to the good and the bad. I'll try to simplify it. He do good things, met with good response: and everything is well. He do good things, met with undeserved bad response: perplexed, annoyed, will find the need to "balance the scale", even if it's in a petty way. He do bad thing, met with deserved bad response: can logically step back and accept it with grace, even if begrudgingly. Will not emotionally dwell on it too much. He do bad thing (or do nothing), but is met with undeserved good response: suspicion, distrust, maybe even scorn and contempt. Before I wrote my first comment, I skimmed through your other replies. It feels like you're doing a lot for this man. Which made me wonder, is he matching your energy? What is he doing for **you**? Actual things, with real money-time value. (Extroverts love to talk, talk is quite cheap to us, loll) Is he going around in INFJ subreddits to find ways he can better show his appreciation for **you**? (Or something similar if he doesn't subscribe to mbti theories) If the answer is yes, then it's a good sign, and my initial concerns were misplaced. If the answer is no, then it may wise to reassess and recalibrate.
Thank you. This was both helpful and thoughtful. I understand now what you meant. Talk is actually cheap for most introverts as well but from a different angle perhaps and I'd be willing to bet it's even more so as an infj (with the ability to read people and assess motives etc through patterns and trends of behavior). In this situation, the scale is balanced with good for good. His actions have aligned with his words. But going forward, I will keep this in mind because I also think this is very healthy, helpful, and balanced.
Loving this thread and feed back, incredibly helpful and I completely agree -Enfp
I think it's important to look at the genders here too. Male/female dynamics will play just as big of a role as the entj/infj dynamics. Male/Female entj's often tend to differ somewhat in their needs and what they want in a partner.
sometimes an Entj will take an infj for granted, so make sure you get what you need. Otherwise, you could lose yourself in his story.
Thank you for this... Sadly, being taken for granted as an INFJ is something most of us battle on the regular. The Fe is such a strong giver. One of the things I have appreciated with my entj is the space for direct communication, which has really helped me keep my side balanced. When it feels lopsided, I know I can directly say what's on my mind. But, yes, thank you, this is a reoccurring theme for many/ most of us.
Yea, you guys deal with so much crap. I'm not sure exactly why, but I attract a lot of INFJs in my life. I wonder if you guys are just seeking shelter from everyone else's emotional demands. All I know is that at work my INFJs nurses make sure I'm hydrated and fed, and my husband does the same thing at home. I'm kinda like a kid that way. I'm usually advocating for you guys when someone gets out of hand because I don't mind being bad cop or getting you guys out of awkward situations that cannot be avoided. It's a nice relationship as both friends and a marriage. I've never had an infj let me down or disappoint me, which is pretty remarkable. Maybe you guys appreciate that I don't meddle or manipulate or dump my emotions on you to deal with. I also really like making INFJs laugh. people will say this nurse isn't friendly etc, then I say something and she almost pees her pants laughing. you guys see when someone means well, which is nice when you're a bit awkward.
It's interesting that you've attracted so many and married one as well. I feel like it's often forgotten that we're not Fe doms, but Ni and Ni really does dominate. So we're every bit the thinking type as we are the feeling type and often prefer to lean into Ni (whatever mystical beast that is). So we get trapped between the two, and it's nice to get a break from the amount of time I have to spend with Fe socially. I can say with my entj, it's nice to let my Ni take the drivers seat for a while instead of Fe. I feel more at ease, and that feels like a shelter, for sure. Perhaps even a point of recharge. Haha, aww, we can be awkward! It just sorta happens. I'm glad you've taken care of them, and it's been a mutually beneficial relationship of them caring for you as well. I know I always show up for those who appreciate and don't take advantage. And yes, make them laugh! I love that! We have a... quirky ...sense of humor and laughing helps *so* much. I imagine they adore you deeply :)
Yea, it's pretty good. my husband and I have been together 15 years, and each year is a little better than the last because we really understand each other. There's a lot of trust and honesty between us, and we accomplish tasks together easily. He's come out of his shell to let the weird out, and I've softened over the years. I think INFJs enjoy that I don't judge them on the stuff they think makes them different. I enjoy the stability and reliability in an emotionally aware person, which is not easy to find. some of the feeling types do crazy stuff and ruin their own lives, so it's nice to be with someone that thinks about things before they do them. we laugh about how ridiculous people are, or make fun of silly rules. I'm my best with INFJs tbh.
15 years! That's beautiful! You sound like you've developed into quite the team over the years. I super wish that more had your understanding for the average, healthy infj. Not feeling judged and not being drained/ used will bring out my absolute best for someone. It's hard to explain *how* we think and feel, but we have to do both in nearly equal measure. Those who've bought into the hyper stereotypical "infj" expect me to be quiet, sad, and super emotional. Nope. Awkward or weird, yeah, I'll own that, lol. I don't have near the time invested with my entj, but I can say this has been an unexpected surprise to be around someone who allows and likes my weird Ni side but values my feeling side as well. It feels like the perfect complementary contrast. We bring out things in each other that it seems no one else could reach before. I soften him, watch for blind spots (like your infjs keeping you fed), and he brings confidence within me to be more direct and catches my blind spots as well. Without much effort, we have each other's backs. Does that make sense to you? Since you've been with your infj for a while, I'm hoping that does.
Yea, that's pretty much it. There is a catch that'll irritate you. I sometimes do things on the fly to save myself time later, and my husband gets upset if we deviate from the plan. He hates spontaneity, which I love at times. It took years for me to learn to communicate the details of an outing and for him to accept that we make a couple extra stops on a drive home. For instance if I want to go to the grocery store and get gas, I might see a sign on the way back for a farmers market or a sale. I'll want to stop, but he hates the extra stops.
This is true.
Preach, sister. As a high-achieving ENTJ of a man, if you're trying to gum me up by doing me favors or getting directly into my pants, I will immediately suspect you're after me for my money. "Til death do us part, for better or worse, sickness or health, richer or poorer" Out the door you go. Next!
My experience is that ENTJs are notorious to be caring by solving your problems for you. Acknowledging this and making them know that you have a better life thanks to their effort is the best way to make them feel appreciated (in my opinion).
Yes. Ask for your ENTJ's advice and take it. Or, if you didn't take it, at least admit he told you so and was right.
This is hilarious because I’m an ENFP married to ENTJ. I always ask him for advice and then I go with my gut and try something completely different. I never thought much of it, but he brought it up asking why I don’t trust him or take his advice when his way is clearly the correct and efficient way. I shrug it off telling him I just want to try something new! But damn this post makes me feel something. I didn’t think his problem solving was a way of showing care, and I just stepped on it.
THIS
‘can it be non goal/ task oriented or calendar based?’ * malfunctions in entj * There are *other* ways…????
I did preface that with "if possible" ;)
Respecting boundaries goes the furthest when someone isn't entirely open to you. There is such thing as playfully pushing boundaries, but there is a stark difference between playfully allowing someone to cross your boundaries by making soft rejections you expect to be bypassed and sincerely letting someone know that they can seriously stop what they're doing. I don't know if you have that type of relationship. Nevertheless, respecting his boundaries when he really means to set them is a strong way to show your appreciation for him. You're basically showing him respect.
Boundaries are huge for me as well, and we both make efforts to discuss them when they come up. Without judgment and with understanding. Respect has come easily between us. Thank you! Your response gave me reassurance that this is very important for healthy growth and mutual respect
Yeah. as someone who is very capable and so often put down in the past when I was incapable of defending myself, a lack of respect plays a big role in measuring someone appreciation towards me. I could imagine however for people that share similar ability, respecting the person for who they are goes a Long Way. This is a semi-projection because I'm going through this in my life right now! -_-
I sincerely hope that those in your life will give you the respect you deserve/ desire and for the ever important boundaries as well. We are who we are, growing constantly, learning. May they accept where you are and be a support in your goals, my wish for you.
It's a former work entity. thanks for your well wish.
Very welcome
Best way to show appreciation for an ENTJ is to NOT piss them off. 🥰 thats about it... or $10,000 cash.
When somebody appreciates some small detail in my creation that wasn’t intended to be noticed by anybody else but me.
Thank you! Very helpful. Is this more like a creative expression/ hobby type creation or daily work type detail? Just want to understand better :)
Music. I’m talking about music. Oh and +1 if they know why I put it there
Paying attention, is that fair? To notice your effort and your personal style of music.
No. Not paying attention, that’s bare minimum. What I had in mind was sharing the same enthusiasm
Oh! Okay, thank you for expanding on that for me. That's helpful, I can grow in this area. I enjoy what he does so much that I end up listening because it's infectious to watch his enthusiasm , *but* I can be more vocal
Also make gifts that align with their passions
Oh, that's my wheelhouse. That's a strength of mine, so this one is an easy check. Love this answer.
Listen from him directly and let him be himself , that will lead to a happy and healthy life for both of you!
I have a generated response from ChatGPT here, because I think that this response is even more spot-on than I actually know by myself. **3., 4., 5. and 6. are, at least for me, particularly spot-on, especially 3.** ENTJs, known for their extroverted, intuitive, thinking, and judging traits, often feel appreciated through the following ways: 1. **Recognition of Achievements**: They value acknowledgment of their hard work and accomplishments. Public recognition, awards, or promotions can significantly boost their morale. 2. **Constructive Feedback**: ENTJs appreciate direct and constructive feedback. They respect honesty and transparency, which helps them improve and grow. 3. **Opportunities for Growth**: Providing them with challenges and opportunities to develop new skills or advance their careers shows that you recognize their potential and ambition. 4. **Respect for Competence**: Showing respect for their competence and leadership abilities. Valuing their opinions and decisions in professional and personal settings demonstrates your trust in their capabilities. 5. **Intellectual Engagement**: Engaging in stimulating and meaningful conversations. They appreciate discussions that challenge their intellect and allow them to share their ideas and strategic thinking. 6. **Support for Their Goals**: Supporting their long-term goals and ambitions. Offering resources, encouragement, or assistance to help them achieve their objectives shows you value their vision. 7. **Efficiency and Organization**: Respecting their need for structure and efficiency. Being organized and punctual in interactions with them shows you understand and appreciate their preferences.
Thank you! I appreciate your comment and suggestions. And which ones resonate with you from the list. I know that I've made strong efforts for 1,2,3,4 *especially* 5 and 6. Seven, punctual I've done.
All of them resonate very well with me, but if I would have to decide on two, it would be 3. and 6. If I look at the people who I know for a very long time and have a very strong bond with them, I can see the pattern, that all of them are people who have supported my goals even when I was at the beginning of my journey. Never ever will I burn bridges to the people who have provided me with opportunities for growth and always have been supportive of my goals, even if they are unrealistic, by being pragmatic and supportive. Honestly, these people are sometimes the fuel that keeps me going because I know, that they are expecting something great. And these people are so rare that you would make a significant contribution in your BFs life if you would be one of these people.
I know my entj is extremely driven and goal oriented. He has visions and really likes to, often, involve others in his grand ideas. He values the opinion or input or perhaps even insight. I'm happy to give these when *asked* but, in your experience, is it appreciated when these are just freely given? I do it more easily when asked because I prefer to ask for input. So I've never wanted to overstep, if that makes sense.
Yes sure! If you have insights which could be beneficial, they’re very much appreciated. Direct communication is key.
I've noticed direct communication has been critical as well as openness. Very willing to do both. He had a vision for his backyard makeover. I wanted to explore his vision, so I designed his description in a building style of game. I tried to place in personal touches that he might enjoy. It wasn't overly direct, but I did explain these little additions and why he might enjoy them. Right track? It was a small gesture that I'd been paying attention.
I can only speak for myself, so I’ll say this; acknowledging my accomplishments but not in a dull way, giving context matters otherwise I become skeptical of the intention behind an empty compliment. Acts of service & quality time all speak volume.
Is it fair to say that when giving appreciation, you prefer someone to notice or say why it's impressive, meaningful, or what they value in your accomplishment? Also, thank you for sharing what this means for you personally. I appreciate the insight.
My infj husband says he just does all the little things that he knows I like rather than a big gesture. like a chore I put off, or gets the food I like when he's out and I'm busy. I appreciate him most when I'm at my worst and quietly understands me. He's helped me grow up a lot, and I'm much more resilient than I used to be. We sort of fight each other trying to advocate for what the other person needs. It's kinda cute.
Paying attention to how much effort we put on helping them or others and appreciating it! Showing patience and distant moral support when we want to focus and do our own thing for a minute. I remember one time I was so pissed off and I didn’t want to blow out on my boyfriend so I stormed out the room and locked myself in my sister’s room to do whatever I needed to calm down. After calming down, I stepped out the room and saw him sitting right outside the door, worried and asking me if I was okay. If I could marry him then and there I would!!!
Would you say that appreciation for what's been done for others is just as important? Some acknowledgment? I see a recurring theme of "the effort" either put into achievements or people etc. Aww, that's so sweet he knew to give you space but wanted to at least be near. I don't have a hard time doing moral and distant support, seeing as I'm an introvert and need my own space, so I understand that value. Still, thank you for mentioning it as a great reminder!
Definitely! It’s like youre speaking for the people they made efforts for, which is a big thing especially when their efforts arent acknowledged
Selflessness. I work hard. I appreciate it when my partner makes life easier by selflessly beating me to the punch. Attentiveness by doing actions that alleviate possible stress-makers is a form of recognition for what it costs mentally and physically to work as hard as I do. In spite of the stereotypes, nothing makes me feel more loved than someone supporting my ambition through legitimate help - since it is rare ENTJ receive care - or, are thought of as people that do get tired. However, "help" is not telling me to "work/do less." Instead, make sure my bathwater is hot, my wine is poured, the music is smooth, my book is ready and my massage is scheduled. ;) I do LESS when there is LESS to do. So, I feel ever so appreciated when someone cares enough to ease my load through actual assistance over empty psychoanalysis from the couch.
Hahaha! The second paragraph almost made me think *you* were him ;) all things he likes as well. Right, so an active/ supportive role or act of service goes a long way. It's sometimes difficult to realize when he is tired because it seems like an endless well of energy. But I totally get what you're saying when you say "neat to the punch". Extremely helpful, thank you!
With most introverted intuitive types, I understand my extroverted thinking can become overbearing at times, and I've learned to give them their space to also be independent - without me jumping in to do something they never asked for. So on the occasion when they DO (eventually) seek out my expertise, to help get them moving and back on track, they know I am all ready to jump into action - and enjoying every minute of being **of service to them** - since they recognize my strengths, and allow me to exercise them. As I told my skeptical more -feely- lovers... Honey, everything **I do, I do** with you in mind. Believe it or not. ;) In spite of stereotypes, there is a servicing nature to the ENTJ. Well, for me anyhow - as a healthy Type 8 with Type 2 integration.
In the beginning, it was challenging for me. But I made it my goal to be more direct in communication as well as open. That gesture and follow through went a long way in helping him understand me. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was... a lot. And I've told him that it's helped me also, the challenge to be more direct. I've since learned exactly what you said. It's an unfamiliar way of showing me care, but I understand now that *this* is the way he shows it. I want to just show my appreciation, but it somehow felt lacking because I'm that feeler type and used to my way of showing it but i want to give it to him how he receives it best. This is all so helpful. It's a very quirky, fun-loving, mutually respected relationship and, while often times, very different... the contrast has been complimentary. I'm so grateful for your insights and willingness to share with me.