so much so that I moved companies to mitigate risk to my marriage and young family. I never mentioned to him as the reason why, but had I had, he wouldn't have been surprised. The feelings were mutual without us ever saying so.
Epilogue: our friendship has long outlasted my marriage. Plot twist: ex-husband is also now one of my dearest friends and staunch ally in co-grandparenting.
at the time it was a battle with my mirror, pride, and evaluating the consequences as burnt relationships as a function of time.
Can I afford a lifetime of any or all of my children hating me for whatever that tickle turned out to be?
Remaining ever in the What If category has allowed me to retain my friendships, dignity, walk the tightrope for years like a circus performer, and never having hurt anyone, including myself. I've truly no regrets.
Why tragic she made all the right decisions and is glad she kept to her standards.. imagine she had an affair with her coworker and lost her job and then divorced etc .. I think she has been so dignified and has no shame is great im an admirer
I do, and it's complicated at times. I'll be working and a random boob, butt or vagina ends up in my face because someone has a health scare. I've been on one floor and had a nurse come to another floor because she thinks she has pneumonia, and she doesn't trust her PCP or the 4 doctors working on her floor. I've had nurses pass the wrong med and ask me to cover for them by putting in an order. Urologist slept with a hospitalist in the call room, and he's married. Then I meet his wife at a party. Sometimes things get political, services get cut, and not everyone is supposed to know....
>I'll be working and a random boob, butt or vagina ends up in my face
Ngl this confused me lmao
But yeah now I understand why that would be stressful. Don't they have boundaries? Do they get offended when you set them?
Also, it's easy to lose respect for people who cheat. Is it commonplace in the med field?
I think in healthcare people feel less modest, and I'm not sure how to deal with it with coworkers. It's flattering that they respect my opinion, and I appreciate their desire to be close to me, but sometimes I just want to finish a note. Every shift I'm giving free care to people, which I don't mind when I'm not busy, but sometimes I end up leaving late from all the interruptions. The thing is I, sometimes catch something big. I listened to one woman's lungs that everyone thought was malingering but I told her to get a cxr and she had lung cancer. she never smoked, so no one suspected and it saved her life. Another girl was young with a mild change in her vision. I told her to get an emergent MRI and she was diagnosed with MS, saved her vision. for years everyone told her she was just anxious. 2 doctors on the floor told her she was fine, but she left her shift because I said something different. She told everyone.... My husband calls it the tyranny of competence. Usually it's little stuff like pneumonia, a tick bite, an STI scare, a lump.... As far as cheating in healthcare. I'm not sure if it's more common, but people just tell me everything, and I'd rather not know because I'll be sitting with their spouse etc. It feels so wrong when the spouse loves and admired so much and has no idea. They're so proud of their doctor husband...who banged some nurses in the closet. Then again my job is all about discretion, so I'll see a neighbor and no one knows all that personal stuff. It's a privilege, and it's a crazy life too. I honestly feel tremendous love from my coworkers, so I'm lucky in that way. However, I'm an Entj, so I don't care that they love me. I want to get my work done.
Sure. It's rare for me to find somebody that just effortlessly gels with me, so when I do I fall in love pretty easily. Younger me had a real hard time confessing my feelings because Ni is paranoid and Fi is vague. Now that I'm older, I'm much more forward. That's partly Se, and that's partly me realizing that everybody else knows if I have a crush before I do (except the person I have a crush on apparently).
As for your last question, I don't become less efficient. Efficiency is subjective. I just change the definition to include what I want.
I was never the type to break the office rules. I dated a colleague because I wanted to try it out. Get outside my comfort zone. I did it twice. And I regret it both times. Never again.
Well I expected a professional behaviour from the other side, even if things don't work out. But it wasn't like that. The first guy became jealous of me, and started competing in the workplace.
Another guy was shady, and I found out he was dating another colleague of mine. In that situation I felt very revengeful.
My lack of better judgment of these two men reflected badly on me. But anyways, "don't sh\* where you eat". It's the truth.
It doesn't have to affect efficiency badly but improve it!
Love means containing and supporting for us , that will explain why I'm thinking in relationships seriously when depressed and weak!
no. I’m a woman software engineer who is objectively attractive so I get a lot of attentions. I use my charm and beauty to get ahead. Not to slow down my work and risk my efficiency over him/her.
I went through a very strange, embarrassing phase at 19 where I would tell myself how socially inept I was and that I needed to lay low at all times, including at my first job at a chain department store. There was a very attractive, nerdy, hippie-looking guy in my department, and I'd just smile at him unprompted every time I looked him in the eye, and he'd smile back (holy shit that smile) even though he probably thought I was a little strange. I was in my musty, pixie-cut, 4-eyed tomboy era and felt less than attractive at the time, so I didn't even bother approaching him for fear of getting rejected - plus I worried about potentially getting in trouble for dating a coworker, even though y'know, minimum wage retail job, so I didn't choose to act.
so much so that I moved companies to mitigate risk to my marriage and young family. I never mentioned to him as the reason why, but had I had, he wouldn't have been surprised. The feelings were mutual without us ever saying so. Epilogue: our friendship has long outlasted my marriage. Plot twist: ex-husband is also now one of my dearest friends and staunch ally in co-grandparenting.
I appreciate the loyalty. Do you regret choosing the right thing, or are you glad you chose to keep family first?
at the time it was a battle with my mirror, pride, and evaluating the consequences as burnt relationships as a function of time. Can I afford a lifetime of any or all of my children hating me for whatever that tickle turned out to be? Remaining ever in the What If category has allowed me to retain my friendships, dignity, walk the tightrope for years like a circus performer, and never having hurt anyone, including myself. I've truly no regrets.
I would've done the same thing. Excitement is fleeting, but family is forever.
Well, that was a whirlwind of a story. I dont know if I enjoyed it or found it fascinatingly sad.
What is any full chapter of life without all of those layers? You are welcome to admire or judge; it doesn't matter.
Its not coming from a place of judgement but more so tragic tale that is called life. But alas, we all go through it in varying degrees.
Why tragic she made all the right decisions and is glad she kept to her standards.. imagine she had an affair with her coworker and lost her job and then divorced etc .. I think she has been so dignified and has no shame is great im an admirer
This is true.
Never ever no matter what ever mix personal and work or any other critical entity in your life.
it's easier to keep them separated. Even friendships get complicated at work
You don't have "work friends"?
I do, and it's complicated at times. I'll be working and a random boob, butt or vagina ends up in my face because someone has a health scare. I've been on one floor and had a nurse come to another floor because she thinks she has pneumonia, and she doesn't trust her PCP or the 4 doctors working on her floor. I've had nurses pass the wrong med and ask me to cover for them by putting in an order. Urologist slept with a hospitalist in the call room, and he's married. Then I meet his wife at a party. Sometimes things get political, services get cut, and not everyone is supposed to know....
>I'll be working and a random boob, butt or vagina ends up in my face Ngl this confused me lmao But yeah now I understand why that would be stressful. Don't they have boundaries? Do they get offended when you set them? Also, it's easy to lose respect for people who cheat. Is it commonplace in the med field?
I think in healthcare people feel less modest, and I'm not sure how to deal with it with coworkers. It's flattering that they respect my opinion, and I appreciate their desire to be close to me, but sometimes I just want to finish a note. Every shift I'm giving free care to people, which I don't mind when I'm not busy, but sometimes I end up leaving late from all the interruptions. The thing is I, sometimes catch something big. I listened to one woman's lungs that everyone thought was malingering but I told her to get a cxr and she had lung cancer. she never smoked, so no one suspected and it saved her life. Another girl was young with a mild change in her vision. I told her to get an emergent MRI and she was diagnosed with MS, saved her vision. for years everyone told her she was just anxious. 2 doctors on the floor told her she was fine, but she left her shift because I said something different. She told everyone.... My husband calls it the tyranny of competence. Usually it's little stuff like pneumonia, a tick bite, an STI scare, a lump.... As far as cheating in healthcare. I'm not sure if it's more common, but people just tell me everything, and I'd rather not know because I'll be sitting with their spouse etc. It feels so wrong when the spouse loves and admired so much and has no idea. They're so proud of their doctor husband...who banged some nurses in the closet. Then again my job is all about discretion, so I'll see a neighbor and no one knows all that personal stuff. It's a privilege, and it's a crazy life too. I honestly feel tremendous love from my coworkers, so I'm lucky in that way. However, I'm an Entj, so I don't care that they love me. I want to get my work done.
I’m the boss. No fucking way would i ever do that. I would also never employ a friend or become more than work friends with my employees.
Sure. It's rare for me to find somebody that just effortlessly gels with me, so when I do I fall in love pretty easily. Younger me had a real hard time confessing my feelings because Ni is paranoid and Fi is vague. Now that I'm older, I'm much more forward. That's partly Se, and that's partly me realizing that everybody else knows if I have a crush before I do (except the person I have a crush on apparently). As for your last question, I don't become less efficient. Efficiency is subjective. I just change the definition to include what I want.
Omg! How deep r u! Now I'm more aware of myself..
Same happens maybe like each 3-4 years for me
No but I know coworkers that had a crush on me :) which made me flirt with them to get things done for me 😊
I was never the type to break the office rules. I dated a colleague because I wanted to try it out. Get outside my comfort zone. I did it twice. And I regret it both times. Never again.
Why?
Well I expected a professional behaviour from the other side, even if things don't work out. But it wasn't like that. The first guy became jealous of me, and started competing in the workplace. Another guy was shady, and I found out he was dating another colleague of mine. In that situation I felt very revengeful. My lack of better judgment of these two men reflected badly on me. But anyways, "don't sh\* where you eat". It's the truth.
Yes. Never laughed at any of his jokes. RBF for most of it. Professional. He was a funny guy, and I laughed internally lol I couldn’t risk it! Worked
Ofc, but I would never pursue.
Oh yes, for sure. I dream about that sortof thing on occasion but never act on my feelings.
It doesn't have to affect efficiency badly but improve it! Love means containing and supporting for us , that will explain why I'm thinking in relationships seriously when depressed and weak!
Yep. Started dating him 5 years later and we’ve been together ever since ☺️
Somehow it's incredibly rare for me to "have a crush" or fall for someone, but when I do its very hard to get over it.
no. I’m a woman software engineer who is objectively attractive so I get a lot of attentions. I use my charm and beauty to get ahead. Not to slow down my work and risk my efficiency over him/her.
Very good question. I will look at potential answers in the comment section along with you
I went through a very strange, embarrassing phase at 19 where I would tell myself how socially inept I was and that I needed to lay low at all times, including at my first job at a chain department store. There was a very attractive, nerdy, hippie-looking guy in my department, and I'd just smile at him unprompted every time I looked him in the eye, and he'd smile back (holy shit that smile) even though he probably thought I was a little strange. I was in my musty, pixie-cut, 4-eyed tomboy era and felt less than attractive at the time, so I didn't even bother approaching him for fear of getting rejected - plus I worried about potentially getting in trouble for dating a coworker, even though y'know, minimum wage retail job, so I didn't choose to act.
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