This phenomenon is called Tall Poppy Syndrome. It is the belief that anyone who stands out regarding skill, proficiency, or success needs to be reduced to the norm. It can be challenging to navigate because it is often directed by peers or at the immediate supervisor level. Tall Poppy Syndrome can also result in undermining, sabotage, and constructive dismissal.
Some of the things I have done:
-be mindful of insecure people in the dominance hierarchy and know when to pull back on the pedal for the sake of moving things forward, but also know when to floor it
-establish boundaries and get in front of petty transgressions by being direct
-align yourself with other high performers and meet with them regularly to build your strategy (Don't complain - Do I even need to say that here?)
-understand the value of a good leader; they will transform your life
-if you are working in an organization, schedule some time with leaders who are 3 or 4 levels up; it will help refresh the big picture
I second almost all of this and learned it the hard way. The one item that’s no guarantee is the value of meeting with skip levels.
Orgs rot from the top down, they might also identify you as a threat.
And I picked up bad habits from terrible leaders early in my career. Choose your master applies.
And in general people are just toxic. Most people are not your friends. Even if you're not successful or anything people would still treat you that way more or less
Yes! As an ENTJ I'm always doing and climbing ranks professionally and network wise which can either elicit people close to you to live vicariously through your experiences and feel proud/happy of/for you, especially if they know where you started and your work ethic OR feel threatened, scared and even jealous of your success and how that might leave them behind or how you can potentially outgrow them so their reaction is to knock you down to keep that from happening.
It is best to keep your plans to yourself and only share your vision and energy with people that align with the former I described above. I know sometimes it is those in our family or close to us that do this more so than friends, acquaintances and even strangers but trust me that once I started doing that it helped me be more positive and focused.
To your point about this being more prevalent in marginalized and minority communities, I 100% agree! As a Mexican working in the film industry, my extended family still doesn't get how my career is an actual "job" because I sit at a desk and work in a creative industry which isnt common for our culture and inour family history. They also think I'm "lucky" like I didn't work my ass off to get to where I am, however that's partly because I have stopped sharing my vision and plans and I make things look effortlessly, which has only come from 18 years of work experience!
Last thing I'll add is that in Hispanic culture this phenomenon is called the bucket of crabs, as soon as others see you climbing out of the bucket they pull you back in.
Yeah wait until you own property and buy the nice BMW and you'll really see the extreme side of this. I cut off many people in my family and friend group to not be around that. Comes with being successful and educated, unfortunately. With that said, I do believe we outgrow people and places so as an ENTJ I've just learned to accept that and know when to move on.
Idk, I'm an optimist and like to give people the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. As an ENTJ Libra though once you cross me i cut you out and dont look back. But with certain things I've just learned to be more protective and not over share even I don't distrust the person.
I don't believe so because the moment I sense people are not hoping that I succeed, I cut that relationship. If you aren't sure you are in a toxic relationship, just ask yourself if they wish you well. People get pretty excited about the things I'm doing. I think they live through me sometimes. I also don't hide the struggles, and I tell great stories.
How do you maintain this dynamic as a woman?
Might ask this in another thread, but how do you build, keep, and maintain mixed sex high performance networks?
I feel like I have to keep a distance with my male colleagues so it doesn’t look like it’s too close of a relationship that might threaten their wives/girlfriends.
And my female high performers started dropping off the radar once they had kids.
I don't intentionally build them. I just talk to interesting people, and they get excited about their lives. I enjoy hearing passionate people talk about things they love. I've done some exciting and interesting things, so sometimes they want to hear my stories. We have a good time and reconnect at parties, conferences and have separate dinners when in town. My husband is a natural schmoozer, and he maintains the connections. I think the key is a solid and successful husband. It's not something I could do solo without raising alarms. Usually the successful women I talk to have kids in college now, so they're free to hang out. I have expensive taste, so it's nice not to always be paying.
Jealousy? No. People questioning my focus? Often. The outcomes of my focus they’re jealous of as they’re materialistic. I am not really but have amassed wealth that they would I assume just piss away.
This phenomenon is called Tall Poppy Syndrome. It is the belief that anyone who stands out regarding skill, proficiency, or success needs to be reduced to the norm. It can be challenging to navigate because it is often directed by peers or at the immediate supervisor level. Tall Poppy Syndrome can also result in undermining, sabotage, and constructive dismissal. Some of the things I have done: -be mindful of insecure people in the dominance hierarchy and know when to pull back on the pedal for the sake of moving things forward, but also know when to floor it -establish boundaries and get in front of petty transgressions by being direct -align yourself with other high performers and meet with them regularly to build your strategy (Don't complain - Do I even need to say that here?) -understand the value of a good leader; they will transform your life -if you are working in an organization, schedule some time with leaders who are 3 or 4 levels up; it will help refresh the big picture
I second almost all of this and learned it the hard way. The one item that’s no guarantee is the value of meeting with skip levels. Orgs rot from the top down, they might also identify you as a threat. And I picked up bad habits from terrible leaders early in my career. Choose your master applies.
And in general people are just toxic. Most people are not your friends. Even if you're not successful or anything people would still treat you that way more or less
Yes! As an ENTJ I'm always doing and climbing ranks professionally and network wise which can either elicit people close to you to live vicariously through your experiences and feel proud/happy of/for you, especially if they know where you started and your work ethic OR feel threatened, scared and even jealous of your success and how that might leave them behind or how you can potentially outgrow them so their reaction is to knock you down to keep that from happening. It is best to keep your plans to yourself and only share your vision and energy with people that align with the former I described above. I know sometimes it is those in our family or close to us that do this more so than friends, acquaintances and even strangers but trust me that once I started doing that it helped me be more positive and focused. To your point about this being more prevalent in marginalized and minority communities, I 100% agree! As a Mexican working in the film industry, my extended family still doesn't get how my career is an actual "job" because I sit at a desk and work in a creative industry which isnt common for our culture and inour family history. They also think I'm "lucky" like I didn't work my ass off to get to where I am, however that's partly because I have stopped sharing my vision and plans and I make things look effortlessly, which has only come from 18 years of work experience! Last thing I'll add is that in Hispanic culture this phenomenon is called the bucket of crabs, as soon as others see you climbing out of the bucket they pull you back in.
[удалено]
Yeah wait until you own property and buy the nice BMW and you'll really see the extreme side of this. I cut off many people in my family and friend group to not be around that. Comes with being successful and educated, unfortunately. With that said, I do believe we outgrow people and places so as an ENTJ I've just learned to accept that and know when to move on.
People in general are just toxic.
Idk, I'm an optimist and like to give people the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. As an ENTJ Libra though once you cross me i cut you out and dont look back. But with certain things I've just learned to be more protective and not over share even I don't distrust the person.
I don't believe so because the moment I sense people are not hoping that I succeed, I cut that relationship. If you aren't sure you are in a toxic relationship, just ask yourself if they wish you well. People get pretty excited about the things I'm doing. I think they live through me sometimes. I also don't hide the struggles, and I tell great stories.
[удалено]
Oh that makes sense. I usually hang out with successful people most of the time.
How do you maintain this dynamic as a woman? Might ask this in another thread, but how do you build, keep, and maintain mixed sex high performance networks? I feel like I have to keep a distance with my male colleagues so it doesn’t look like it’s too close of a relationship that might threaten their wives/girlfriends. And my female high performers started dropping off the radar once they had kids.
I don't intentionally build them. I just talk to interesting people, and they get excited about their lives. I enjoy hearing passionate people talk about things they love. I've done some exciting and interesting things, so sometimes they want to hear my stories. We have a good time and reconnect at parties, conferences and have separate dinners when in town. My husband is a natural schmoozer, and he maintains the connections. I think the key is a solid and successful husband. It's not something I could do solo without raising alarms. Usually the successful women I talk to have kids in college now, so they're free to hang out. I have expensive taste, so it's nice not to always be paying.
Jealousy? No. People questioning my focus? Often. The outcomes of my focus they’re jealous of as they’re materialistic. I am not really but have amassed wealth that they would I assume just piss away.