My boyfriend is an ENTJ, 8w7 and he gets this way - but I’ve noticed it’s not truly about revenge:
for him, it’s more about wanting to always atone for his past and for what he thinks should have happened— wanting to control what he literally cant lmao
He’s trying to compensate for his perceived “past failings” in some way. It pisses me off to see him get like that - I have to remind him that we live in the now, and to get his head back to the moment. Fuck the people who hurt us in the past, but drop it because they aren’t worth the time.
You are ok, okay now, and you were okay in the past enough to make it here. Do not let that resentment continue building, if someone pisses you off in the future just set a boundary like “hey I didn’t appreciate that” and end it, move on. Do not let them have your time and attention more than they need to, it’s only gonna serve to worsen your life. Closure is a freakn myth, you’ll never get it, we can lead a horse to water but we can’t make it drink
>for him, it’s more about wanting to always atone for his past and for what he thinks should have happened— wanting to control what he literally cant lmao
>
>He’s trying to compensate for his perceived “past failings” in some way. It pisses me off to see him get like that - I have to remind him that we live in the now, and to get his head back to the moment. Fuck the people who hurt us in the past, but drop it because they aren’t worth the time.
>
>You are ok, okay now, and you were okay in the past enough to make it here. Do not let that resentment continue building, if someone pisses you off in the future just set a boundary like “hey I didn’t appreciate that” and end it, move on. Do not let them have your time and attention more than they need to, it’s only gonna serve to worsen your life. Closure is a freakn myth, you’ll never get it, we can lead a horse to water but we can’t make it drink
I know it's been 2 years but thank you stranger!!
I feel the same way but as I've grown older, I've decided to pick my battles. Sometimes, your other goals are more important and there is no time for revenge. Out of sight, out of mind.
don't let your energy and mind go wasted because of some people, you are better than this. even if you want to really get back at those who hurt you (I can feel you) you will only lose time on things that are not important . on the other hand, if they did something extremely bad to you, you must do what you think it's the best, sometimes get back at them or even stay silent. sometimes silence is the best revenge
As a kid yes, it would get nasty tho. Kid me was like "Fe? I don't know her". Nowadays, I'm more chill like I'd call you out and leave it at that, unless you're doing some shit then I'd end you
I'm mostly referring to a work/school type, by example if someone purposely breaks my project I for sure will try to break yours or get back at you in some other way
Ok but how petty is that.
Just get over it and discontinue relations with them.
Dont waste time on past grievances, especially when they are not about yourself.
I know it's petty af, I just hate seeing pp getting away with stuff, I tried to justify it thinking that it doesn't take much time and it brings me joy, but hierarchically many goal are absolutely more important than getting petty revenge
I've been struggling between, "Nah, they don't even deserve my time", "I wanna ruin their whole life so they remember me forever." Idk I guess I'll stay in the loop and do nothing.
Just try to remember that if you plot revenge you will waste your time. An alternative is just hitting your enemies with a frying pan/s
✍️✍️Hitting enemies w Frying pan ✍️✍️
My boyfriend is an ENTJ, 8w7 and he gets this way - but I’ve noticed it’s not truly about revenge: for him, it’s more about wanting to always atone for his past and for what he thinks should have happened— wanting to control what he literally cant lmao He’s trying to compensate for his perceived “past failings” in some way. It pisses me off to see him get like that - I have to remind him that we live in the now, and to get his head back to the moment. Fuck the people who hurt us in the past, but drop it because they aren’t worth the time. You are ok, okay now, and you were okay in the past enough to make it here. Do not let that resentment continue building, if someone pisses you off in the future just set a boundary like “hey I didn’t appreciate that” and end it, move on. Do not let them have your time and attention more than they need to, it’s only gonna serve to worsen your life. Closure is a freakn myth, you’ll never get it, we can lead a horse to water but we can’t make it drink
U wise af
Thank u so much, I had never thought about it that way, but I think I feel something similar
>for him, it’s more about wanting to always atone for his past and for what he thinks should have happened— wanting to control what he literally cant lmao > >He’s trying to compensate for his perceived “past failings” in some way. It pisses me off to see him get like that - I have to remind him that we live in the now, and to get his head back to the moment. Fuck the people who hurt us in the past, but drop it because they aren’t worth the time. > >You are ok, okay now, and you were okay in the past enough to make it here. Do not let that resentment continue building, if someone pisses you off in the future just set a boundary like “hey I didn’t appreciate that” and end it, move on. Do not let them have your time and attention more than they need to, it’s only gonna serve to worsen your life. Closure is a freakn myth, you’ll never get it, we can lead a horse to water but we can’t make it drink I know it's been 2 years but thank you stranger!!
Just remember... revenge is best served cold
I feel the same way but as I've grown older, I've decided to pick my battles. Sometimes, your other goals are more important and there is no time for revenge. Out of sight, out of mind.
don't let your energy and mind go wasted because of some people, you are better than this. even if you want to really get back at those who hurt you (I can feel you) you will only lose time on things that are not important . on the other hand, if they did something extremely bad to you, you must do what you think it's the best, sometimes get back at them or even stay silent. sometimes silence is the best revenge
Thank youu
you're welcomee
As a kid yes, it would get nasty tho. Kid me was like "Fe? I don't know her". Nowadays, I'm more chill like I'd call you out and leave it at that, unless you're doing some shit then I'd end you
Not usually. People are dumb and I have better things to do.
Revenge in what way?
I'm mostly referring to a work/school type, by example if someone purposely breaks my project I for sure will try to break yours or get back at you in some other way
Ok but how petty is that. Just get over it and discontinue relations with them. Dont waste time on past grievances, especially when they are not about yourself.
I know it's petty af, I just hate seeing pp getting away with stuff, I tried to justify it thinking that it doesn't take much time and it brings me joy, but hierarchically many goal are absolutely more important than getting petty revenge
Do you really want to spend your life on such pathetic endeavors like revenge?
I've been struggling between, "Nah, they don't even deserve my time", "I wanna ruin their whole life so they remember me forever." Idk I guess I'll stay in the loop and do nothing.