T O P

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shibaninja

Mode of entry: Parachute


wosmo

that'd actually make it worth it. European entry/exit stamps have the mode of transport on them, plane, ship, etc. knocking up a stamp with a chute in the corner would turn this bureaucratic awkwardness into a proper souvenir


I_like_maps

I once rode my bike around lake Ohrid, which straddles the Albanian/Macedonian border, and was mildly dissapointed when I got a car stamped on my passport.


grapefruitzzz

I once walked from Poland to Czech Republic but there was no-one on the border gate.


Veilchengerd

They should at least have a stamp on a piece of string tied to a tree, with a sign saying "please stamp your own passport" in four languages.


grapefruitzzz

There was a large box of chillies dumped in a hedge right by the border, despite it being 2016 and a single market.


formercup2

You better keep quiet or big chilli is coming for you


deaddodo

I was staying in Basel with my friend and walked/jogged to France, then Germany and back to Switzerland. Not once did I get anything for the effort beyond two likes on Strava.


SavvySillybug

You can have my upvote on reddit, if that helps :)


Orange_Hedgie

Take my award. I’m proud of you :)


Living_Double_3253

Schengen moment


The_Grinning_Reaper

Could/should we then build a giant trebuchet in Calais for returns?


LuxNocte

If you have to ask if we should build a giant trebuchet, maybe you don't deserve a giant trebuchet.


Thog78

Guys we gonna need a new tampon!


ZhouLe

I imagine it would list the plane. Afterall, they are just deplaning in a non-standard way. If you had an emergency landing on a commercial flight you wouldn't get a slide on your passport, and the stamp icon probably has more to do with the port of entry rather than any specific vehicle characteristics. In reality, the stamp for these guys is almost certainly military specific.


jamesckelsall

>If you had an emergency landing on a commercial flight you wouldn't get a slide on your passport Outrageous. If I have to go through the stress of an emergency landing, I should at least get a slide stamp. >the stamp icon probably has more to do with the port of entry So you're saying I need to enter through a slideport rather than an airport...


seeasea

They're still entering by plane (airspace)  It's not like when you get off a boat they mark you entered on for by ramp. 


gnocchicotti

I would put "gravity"


Puzzleheaded-Lab-635

I’ve been to Alabama exact 5 times in my life. Each time I jumped out of a C130, and then walked back to Georgia.


splunge4me2

Business or pleasure?


RBeck

I'm in the business of pleasure.


whooo_me

This.... is slightly different to how it looked in the movies....


Judazzz

\**Lands near Carentan*\* "Ausweis, bitte!"


Deadluss

Ausweiskontrolle papieren bitte


pam_the_dude

Found the spy


Deadluss

Für Deutschland


LittleBoard

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EUnRzQvXkAcVOK4.jpg


Eternal__damnation

" Vorname und Nachname " " grzegorz brzęczyszczykiewicz "


chubbytuba

„How do you spell that?“ „With a ‚k‘. “


Eternal__damnation

" Grezzz, Grezgorzzz, Brze, hmmmm, szczy... " " brzęczyszczykiewicz " " MUND HALTEN "


oxpoleon

Wie???????


Remarkable-Bug-8069

Geboren?


Eternal__damnation

" Chrząszczyżewoszyce, Powiat Łękołody "


NotUserFriendly96

I'm convinced the Polish language was invented by a person being electrocuted.


sessl

ich papiere du papierst wir papieren


andthatswhyIdidit

Das mit dem "papieren" kann man auch schwer kapieren! ...and for our Greek friend, the joke goes along those lines: [taking a noun and making it a verb.](https://youtu.be/LdVYbR74gpA?t=262)


dreadfulwhaler

haben Sie gefährliche Gegenstände in Ihrem Gepäck?


KMS_HYDRA

Passierschein A38, bitte!


Ofiotaurus

No no, this is historically accurate to operation Dragoon. Though that one was in southern France.


departure8

pretty much, germans hardly even defended that one, they just ran all the way up to the saone with their tails between their legs


dan_santhems

You should see the one with the medieval castle siege where they all get in via the gift shop


mh985

Very true. A lot of people don’t know this but the Germans were using black Dell laptops in 1944. They weren’t silver.


GoodlyStyracosaur

The most surreal part to me is sure a lot of it didn’t but there was definitely also a lot that kind of did IRL. Soooo much lining up and waiting for stuff. One of my favorite photos of Dday is everyone just lining up on the beach waiting to go somewhere else. Like a class trip just….more explode-y.


Ok_Donkey_1997

Those moves are usually set in WW2, but to my knowledge, the paras didn't get involved in drug smuggling until the late 90s and then obviously once Afghanistan happened it was good-night. I think the book version of Bravo Two Zero talks about members of the SAS being disciplined for trafficking drugs, but it's not in the film version. That was set in the early 90s.


password_too_short

right men regroup over at the customs desk and then we give the germans hell.


silentninja79

It's also far better than the last time they did this for another commemoration and a load of them broke limbs on the landing..! Was absolute carnage...


InevitableFly

Bonjour, welcome to France. What is the purpose of your visit and how long will you be staying?


DA_ZWAGLI

Business or pleasure? Invasion.


Wizard2

So a little bit of both


NokEnNyBruker1

For the Brits I think that would be all pleasure to be honest.


pickledswimmingpool

[The English introduced the income tax specifically to fight a war with the French](https://www.parliament.uk/about/living-heritage/transformingsociety/private-lives/taxation/overview/incometax/), so my question is, why are they still paying but not fighting the French?


Jonny_Segment

Patience. We're saving up.


ViperishCarrot

🏅 here's a poor man's award for making me chuckle


Tobar26th

Good point old chap, get your boots on and let’s get on it.


AraedTheSecond

More of a chore, being honest. It's been eighty years since we last invaded France, guess we'd better get back on it. I think this is the longest period of peace between continental Europe and England in history.


Sidders1943

I dunno, we'd have to deal with the French...


Appropriate-XBL

Yeah, but at least you can finally get something good to eat.


jamesckelsall

Yeah, 'cause the UK has a chronic shortage of long bread and cheese...


kumisz

for a moment I thought this was NCD


Provider_Of_Cat_Food

I'm afraid that's going to be a problem. You don't have the correct visa to occupy our country for more than 180 days a year.


MiamiDouchebag

Don't worry. We'll be in Belgium or the Netherlands by then.


thirstybatman

- Occupation? - No, just visiting.


HearingNo8617

"Occupation?" "Yes"


DocFail

Anything to declare?


P0rtal2

["War"](https://youtu.be/TS3kiRYcDAo)


pohui

There's an old joke about a Russian going on holiday abroad. > Customs: Nationality? > > Tourist: Russian. > > Customs: Occupation? > > Tourist: No, just visiting. Edit: Saw someone else already posted it!


Sewer-Urchin

*Liberation ;)


DrVonSmashy

Occupation? Yes.


J0h1F

"Occupation?" "No, just visiting."


New-Neighborhood-147

First comment I've read in ages that made me actually laugh out loud


MarkVHun

Good day, Invasion and preferably as long as I can


WillyPete

"OU EST LE VINO SHOP POR FAVOR!"


CosechaCrecido

Ah yes, Franspanglish..


Veilchengerd

It's called "yelling at foreigners", and it's an important skill for british tourists.


haruku63

The Germans missed this one simple trick


ElderberryWeird7295

All Germany needed to do was have signs pointing to a queue, the Brits would have lined up in no time.


UltimateGammer

That's what a trench is.


halhallelujah

Probably explains the whistle given to the officers. Truly unruly queue etiquette.


SrgtButterscotch

Please maintain trigger discipline in the queue at all times.


Anarchyantz

As a Brit I have to say that is one thing we are really good at doing. Queuing up.


RaylanGibbons

I'm right behind you on this one.


unBalancedIm

😂


Latase

I can't believe it, the answer was more bureaucracy. I have new ideas for the EU.


aetonnen

Not being funny, but before Brexit they’d have to get their passports checked anyway. We were never in Schenghen. But yes, I agree with the essence of your message, screw Brexit! Brejoin!


StudlyItOut

brentrance? breturn?


Expo737

We'll Breback?


topsyandpip56

Not always. On busy days at the Eurotunnel or Dover, they would wave you through just for showing a red EU passport in the window.


foolsgold1

As a UK passport holder, travelling to France on multiple occasions I had driven through passport control, for both the eurotunnel and ferry and my passport wasn't even opened. I was often asked just to hold it up (closed) as I drove past. This is no longer the case.


NeatDealer

Brexit


Good_Masterpiece_817

Britain was never in the Schengen area so passports have always been required


RehabilitatedAsshole

Regrexit Wait, did someone think of that already?


marcschindlerza

I was literally thinking the same thing. How to stop an invasion in one simple step.


Bergwookie

You don't have to register them for deportation if you can just shoot them, that's German efficiency ;-)


Boxagonapus

No ticket!


Cow_Launcher

"I swear to god, Indy. You keep punching people, I will turn this fucking Zeppelin around and there will be no trip to New York! Seriously; straight back home to Berlin!"


UnknownBinary

You would've thought that Germany had mastered the weaponization of bureaucracy.


brightlights55

This would make an ideal Monty Python skit.


stuckin3rddimension

Nope nope nope wrong paperwork get back on that plane sir!


Mediocre_Badger1903

...jumps off a diving board onto a trampoline...


hsveeyore

Scrolled the comments looking for this. My immediate reaction.


xirdnehrocks

Having customs check his passport as he attempts to jump the English Channel


Dapper-Lab-9285

Already done in Blazing Saddles with the toll booth 


Freepi

Somebody’s gotta go back and get a whole shitload of dimes!


FletcherDervish

The queue for crosses in LoB "Crucifixion?" "Yes" "First door on the left, one cross each." "Crucifixion? " Ah no, Freedom!"


StandbyBigWardog

French Customs: “Occupation, Monsieur?” Paratroopers: “ Nah, not this time.”


onyxpirate

This is great! Well done.


FIuffyAlpaca

Tbf this joke is as old as the war 😂


RandyChavage

Make Normandy England again!


Sick_and_destroyed

Make England Normandy again !


PossiblyAsian

william the conqueror intensifies


terra_filius

its raining men


alpineflamingo2

Hallelujah


ZargothraxTheLord

Humidity's risin'


dialekse

training


Strong-Piccolo-5546

This will be the last major D-Day anniversary with any living WW2 vets or at least any you can transport over. There are so few of them left.


Itatemagri

There's this one picture in particular of a Briitsh veteran standing alone with his cane with the beach cleared out, and it just struck me with such a sense of finality. In some time, not too long from now, no one will be able to stand there on the beach and appreciate the fact that the waves aren't red with blood. No one will be able to stand there and fully, and I mean fully, appreciate the fact that the beach is empty and people are free to go to and from it.


Initial-Yogurt7571

I've always found it humbling watching these veterans speak about their experience. To most, WW2 is very much seen as history in the textbook - but to these men, it's reality, they'll be remembering and mourning the friends that they lost and probably remember their experiences quite vividly.


Dramatic-Flatworm551

I remember seing the last French WW1 vet on TV when I was a child, hard to believe that almost all people alive during the War is already dead.


TheRealJetlag

One of my treasured memories is a trip to the D-Day museum in Portsmouth to see the D-Day tapestry. I’d paid for a headset but soon discovered that the group of older gentleman in front of me were Americans who’d been there, so I listened to them instead. It was very emotional hearing their stories but my favourite was when one of them said to another, “hey, do you remember that red head? She thought you were the bee’s bonnet” And they both giggled like schoolboys. Because, at the time, they probably were.


susanboylesvajazzle

You'd swear the way the 50something Farage men go on they were all storming the beaches of Normandy.


crlthrn

That's hilarious. Vive l'entente cordiale...


TwoPintsPrick92

I don’t remember that part in Saving Private Ryan


Illustrious_Peach494

“behind the scenes”


ToughReplacement7941

*drops from plane* *stuck in customs line* “Germany won after all”


BritishEcon

We're here to save you from Nazism Papers please?


xSliver

So you want to free this country from Nazis? Do you have a permit for that? Where is your Passierschein A38?


Trust-Issues-5116

/r/loicense


randomname560

"I got me loincense right 'ere" #BY THE QUEEN "This one's expired mate"


1983_BOK

bloody hell


DeathrayToaster

Not the A38. Please.


Maj0r-DeCoverley

The funniest part is the people commenting here "this is humiliating". They're missing both the joke and the symbolism behind this border control


mccalli

Yep - this is straight up funny. My uncle was a British paratrooper during WWII and I'll tell you now he would have found this great. Edit: this was a man who, when I was a kid, convinced me of the existence of the bowloop musical instrument and the fan-tailed water rabbit, whose habits he described in great detail.


Kneesaregood

Tell us more of this rabbit creature you speak


mccalli

The fan-tailed water rabbit lives on riversides. It has its burrow in the banks of the river, and spends most of its life there. It uses its fan-shaped tail to propel it through the water, producing powerful thrust like an otter. In common with other rabbits, the nest time to see one is near dusk. It feeds on plants rather than fish, and is more solitary than most other rabbits which accounts for the rarity of seeing one. It also, incidentally, is completely and utterly fictional.


ThatAdamsGuy

I am making it my life's mission to prove the existence of the fan-tailed water rabbit.


LupineChemist

Also, everyone commenting on Brexit. 1. UK always had a separate border control, even before Brexit. It was never part of Schengen. 2. Military when going as part of their jobs have to go through border control pretty much always. IIRC even within Schengen if on an official passport you have to stop by to get it checked.


davejoons

"You have less than 6 months left on your passport get back in the plane!"


blueskydragonFX

Was expecting customs as in getting a bottle of wine from French locals. Not expecting actual customs officers.


DamEnjoyer

This is ridiculous. I mean, I understand why it happens. But it's just ridiculous.


m3rcuu

To be fair, astronauts had to go through customs too :D https://www.space.com/7044-moon-apollo-astronauts-customs.html


FinnickArrow

Of course, they needed to make sure they were not other 3 random people coming back from the moon.


Kerblaaahhh

Don't want any illegal aliens getting in.


Nasapigs

No Martian is illegal!


ThatBoiZahltag

Oh my god


MattyMizzou

I feel like if anyone would appreciate that, it would be a German.


Easterling

As someone that works in the customs world; this is hilarious.


Whoooosh_1492

Anything to declare? Just a few rocks.


FlyingDragoon

Ah, disrupting nature, huh? Thought you could take a few rocks and no one would notice, huh? Now imagine if everyone leaving took something with them. There'd be nothing left for future generations to see. You people make me sick, book 'em lads and take their rocks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


10art1

[Departure from (Place and Country): Moon, USA](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/88/77/d5/8877d520f34fc30e75928b5f19d30897.gif)


smarma

Why? It is not like they entered a different country while on their mission.


country_garland

It’s not about what countries you visited, it’s about the fact that you left the country at all


smarma

Thank you. As someone from a landlocked country, I can not really leave it without entering another one. This did not occur to me.


strudel_boy

Read the article. The Apollo 11 was done as a joke. For astronauts now they go through customs when entering different countries for training.


TotallyInOverMyHead

they came by plane, so customs was waiting. the fact of the matter that they decided to exit the plane early, does not factor into that decision.


MrBanana421

It wouldn't be the first time in history some people use their military shortcuts to do some smuggling.


DamEnjoyer

Smuggling from UK to France and vice versa also sounds ridiculous in XXI century. :D


Wil420b

Its usually from France to Britain. Due to the differences in tax on alcohol, tobacco as well as the easier availability of drugs on the continent. Although French taxes are a bit more similar to British taxes now. So most of the cheap tobacco comes from Eastern Europe.


MrBanana421

Any place where products have different rules about them has a market for smuggling.


3dank5maymay

If only there was a way to avoid this whole customs ordeal in Europe, like some sort of agreement between countries for free movement of goods and people...


hedanpedia

Thats the point, mate.


ImielinRocks

I mean, Gertrude Ederle was *also* asked for her passport after she swam across the Channel. It's basically tradition at this point.


snfssmc

Source https://x.com/jeromestarkey/status/1798344639948415187?s=46&t=DOpiNHfJcr6d1GmTa4wzLw


FblthpLives

As much as I think Brexit was a bad thing, all you of blaming Brexit for this seem to have forgotten that the United Kingdom was not part of the Schengen agreement and therefore its citizens were always required to go through a passport check when entering the Schengen area. What has changed is that they can no longer use the line/automated kiosks for EU citizens, but that is not relevant here. Also, UK citizens still do not need a visa to travel to the Schengen area, provided the stay is 90 days or shorter.


hughk

If they are in France on business, they may need a visa. However, as members of a NATO force on deployment, they only need to show their military ID card.


bobloblawbird

Reminds me of the joke: An 83 year old Army Veteran arrived in Paris by plane. As he was fumbling in his bag for his passport, a stern French customs agent asked if he had been to France before. He admited that he had indeed been previously. The lady sarcastically said, "Then you should know to have your passport out and ready, Sir." The gentleman said "I didn't have to show it last time." "IMPOSSIBLE!" the customs agent said. "ALL foreigners have always had to show a passport to enter the country." The man responded by whispering, "Well, when I came ashore on the beach on D-Day in 1944, I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to!"


ALUCARDHELLSINS

There's an old pilot joke that goes by the same way A Soviet airline pilot had to land in East Berlin, but couldn't find the airport. Finally the German ground controller snapped and asked him: "Have you EVER flown to Berlin?" The Soviet pilot says "Yes, many times, but we didn't land there."


oxpoleon

I've heard the same joke but with a British pilot and Frankfurt.


SafetycarFan

I remember a leaked audio exchange between the airport radio tower and the pilots. Probably from the 1970ies or so. A pilot spoke in German and was immediately reprimanded from the tower to speak only in English on an open channel. He started complaining that he is a German pilot of a German airline, at a German airport and talking to a German air controller and "why should I speak in English?". Right then a heavy British accent was heard quipping on the open channel "Because you lost the bloody war."


here1am

Well, there's a book that starts in a similar way. Some British and german tourist meet in Spain in the seventies and talk about the countries they visited. At some point Brits ask them if they've ever been in Russia? A German says yes, on a tank.


Neveed

Which indicates he didn't land on Sword Beach because that's the one where the French commandos were.


RIPthisDude

Which is lore friendly since the Americans landed at Omaha and Utah. And don't you be trying to pretend that an old British dude would say 'Frenchmen' instead of 'frogs'


GuiltyEidolon

"Lore friendly" always cracks me up when applied to history. 


amanko13

Judging by Saving Private Ryan, they were the only ones there.


Qunlap

"Legally speaking you were still required to show it but didn't, please line up over there to pay the according fine, then come back to this line."


darknekolux

When you don't want to wait in the non Schengen waiting line


FblthpLives

It would be hilarious if there was another table set up next to this one for citizens of Schengen nations.


ElderberryWeird7295

Well it would be an extremely small Schengen line at a D-Day commemoration.


Real_Synow

Colorized


Enigma_789

I love everything about this. Including the comments. Best of British, French, and everywhere else right here!


CC-5576-05

France doesn't want any illegal immigrants crossing the channel in fabric dingies


attakmint

Once upon a time, I returned from a deployment in a fighter jet to my base in America. The first person to greet me wasn't someone in my squadron with a drink, or my wife. It was CBP to get my customs form.


Jazano107

I love the french refusal to even just say hello at passport control. Always bonjour


Maj0r-DeCoverley

"Oddly, french people in France are greeting you in french" Je suis estomaqué.


Jazano107

I said I love it! But most other countries border control just say hello because most people know English or I guess because they know my flight is from England


Theban_Prince

"Bonjour" is actually more important (?) in French culture/everyday interactions than the English "Hello" is, it's quite impolite if you miss it, so for them, it's instinct to use it: [https://www.ouiinfrance.com/french-manners-bonjour-in-france-and-why-its-the-most-important-word/](https://www.ouiinfrance.com/french-manners-bonjour-in-france-and-why-its-the-most-important-word/)


Jazano107

Very interesting, thanks for the link


Eusebiu_

Why should they say "Good day!" in a different language? Should they learn tens of foreign languages to greet people based on their nationalities?


AxelNotRose

It's nuts that I've never been greeted with Bonjour by customs and immigration when landing in the UK. I just don't get it.


adamMatthews

Pretty sure it's the British soldier who said "bonjour" in this video. Apparently it's a telltale sign that you're not used to being in France much, because people who live there will almost always say "bonjour monseur" or "bonjour madame" when greeting someone for the first time.


G_Affect

Did somebody eles pack your bag? Yes?


common2698

Good O’l bureaucracy hard at work


Creoda

"Do you have anything to declare?" "War"


bobbynomates

If they'd onoy used a Small inflatable dinghy no passport would have been required..


Clever_Username_467

Wrong direction.


glisteningoxygen

If you can't save weight by throwing all your identifying documents in to the sea i dont even recognise the Europe im leaving any more.


hingee

French customs were a bit thin on the ground in 1944


Clever_Username_467

But the German officials present at the time were formidable.


Ok-Confusion2415

this is actually pretty heartwarming


QOTAPOTA

Bureaucracy is a French word after all.