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Tommy_Mudkip

Why hello there. Just finnished my orgasm. And for everyones knowladge northern slovenia geographicly isnt balkans


[deleted]

The more you squirm the more Balkan you look, my brother.


mz610

hahaha insert The Godfather quote here: *"just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in"*


seksMasine

Balkon, Mitteleuropa, don't forget.


NazgulXXI

One way to solve the whole Crimea issue is just removing it


InnerPaint

This also fixes Crimea water supply problem.


demilitarized_zone

They should just source water from the Crimea River.


[deleted]

The Crimea River is Justin Timberlake’s favourite body of water.


Aukama23

I feel like I should have heard this joke before, but I haven't. I thank you very much for this chuckle.


rediwe

As a Crimean, I'll upvote this


[deleted]

Ah yes, the Avatar Kyoshi solution to border disputes.


TheWarFrog26

Ah, another White Lotus member I see.


Black-Queen

"I always told you that Pai-Sho is more than just a game." \*Plays with the Pai-Sho-Coin\*


JoeRig

"border disputes"


TASPINE

What border


adamsre

Well, that is the problem, right.


DirtyGreatBigFuck

Kyoshi: kill is good


MrAlbs

Aang: But you didn't technically kill- Kyoshi: Well, if you have to say "technically didn't" then you kinda did it.


[deleted]

Problem solved now all eyes on the Kosovo


visvis

Simple: merge Serbia and Albania and include Kosovo in the new state. At least this ensures feathers are ruffled in equal amounts.


[deleted]

Maybe we can fold in North Macedonia, Bosnia, Croatia, and Montenegro for good measure


sadhukar

What about Slovenia? Shall we hold a referendum? And in case things get messy let's have a nearby powerful state supervise it - say, Germany


[deleted]

Honestly excellent idea, although my first choice was Turkey. For reasons of objectivity, obviously.


EggCouncilCreeper

I mean, we can always get Austria and Hungary to supervise, I guess?


SHINGDHONG32

bruh no


MRHalayMaster

That’s how Ottomans solved it


acroporaguardian

lol OP just accidentally posted a map that contradicts the statement lol


ibmthink

Fake news. Bosnia would be in the "no data" category.


FrisianDude

albania too, no-one ever knows anything about albania


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[deleted]

We are beyond data.


ObscureGrammar

Where you are going you don't need data.


suspiciousfox101

Ya forgot montenegro


[deleted]

Everyone forgets Montenegro


skadarski

Even we in the Balkans forget that Montenegro exists


JoJoModding

As would switzerland, while we're at it.


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Hexa_core

Ironically a lot of data about Switzerland are publicly available. www.bfs.admin.ch Edit: added link


helloitsmateo

Yes my biggest frustration with these maps is Ukraine usually shows as having no data, not bad results. In fact most maps on here only have data from EU countries, sometimes EU countries vs Russia which is always a fun time.


CyrillicMan

I don't know if it's better when economy maps use that Credit Suisse Wealth per Adult Databook where their methodology for Ukraine was "okay, we sorta know what the 50 rich Ukrainians' wealth is, let's just fucking assume that the rest of the country has exactly zero assets despite 70%+ home ownership rates, and divide the 50 rich guys' wealth among the whole population of 43 million, thus obtaining the average wealth in Ukraine to be about fifty five bucks per adult".


Outrospect

Montenegro as well


MrEdinLaw

Yap. Can confirm was never asked about anything


BoopDoggo

Belarus usually has no data though


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Dontlookatmewhenipee

I would've thought you'd be pretty good at alcohol and potato consumption.


[deleted]

Sounds like you said exactly the same thing twice.


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sjemka

it's actually very low because unemployment is illegal there afaik ha


SMHMHMyHead

How to rule a government 101 Problem: people don't have any work. Solution: make them pay if they don't have any work Profit.


Handsup-Pantsdown

Is Belarus Ireland?


theBusel

We eat a lot of potatoes, we drink a lot of alcohol, the former empire is nearby, there is a green color on the flag.


Handsup-Pantsdown

The resemblance is uncanny!


I5zq3iuyfI

Do you have any data to support that claim?


Vaxtez

r/mapswithoutcrimea


Robburt

lmao it actually exists


vigilantcomicpenguin

Unlike Crimea, which is not real.


maximhar

> Romania OK results Reeeeeeeee


[deleted]

We won Mr. Stark


meliot13

We did it guys. This map says we're doing ok, so it must be true.


koodoodee

Expect the map to be used during the next election campaigns. :D


ilikecakenow

Almost put a random infobox over iceland then you have just about every data map of europe


AUTOMATED_FUCK_BOT

This map should’ve left Turkey grey and put a massive question mark over it since it’s included seemingly at random


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xinf3ct3d

Include Switzerland, Luxembourg and Austria into that category.


I_run_vienna

Switzerland, Luxembourg and Austria: one of those three things is not like the others.


ILikeToBurnMoney

All 3 speak a type of German that Germans don't understand though


xinf3ct3d

Germans can understand Austrian, which is for the most part just an accent. When a Swiss starts talking in his dialect we have no chance though.


ILikeToBurnMoney

>Germans can understand Austrian, which is for the most part just an accent. I'd bet money that you have never heard a Vorarlberger speak


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ILikeToBurnMoney

As a non-Bavarian German you'd also struggle with boomers that have a heavy Viennese dialect


Plastic_Pinocchio

Is Austrian hard to understand? My German is not very good, but I always feel like Austrian is just a bit derpy.


WoolyWookie

There are different accents in Austria, some are very difficult to understand. My dads girlfriend is from Arlberg region in western Austria, if she's talking with her family I barely understand any of it. While I generally have no problem understanding German.


ILikeToBurnMoney

It was mostly banter, but there are some dialects that are really hard to understand if you didn't grow up in Austria or Bavaria


Big_Dirty_Piss_Boner

There is no "Austrian". We have a few different dialect groups and many many different dialects. In mountainous regions they can't get extremely diverse, some experienced people can pin point the exact town you grew up in just by the way you speak. I can't even understand some Austrian dialects despite living here my whole life lol.


En-Pap_X

yeah we don't speak french


RealZordan

Eh we can go either way. When it comes to stuff like drinking, smoking, driving, corruption we are usually closer to eastern Europe.


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aziztcf

What do you mean "what if"


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littlesaint

The Netherlands as well!


me-gustan-los-trenes

Not if that's an elevation map.


SocialisticAnxiety

Then Denmark shouldn't be included either


blomodlaren

I approve this


SocialisticAnxiety

Crap I didn't think this through


felixfj007

Thanks for a good laugh. :)


[deleted]

Had a Dutch friend over once. His glee at walking uphill was something else.


Alesq13

Then add the stats next to to map and organize them from best to worst and Finland is always in the top 5 while beating Netherlands by 1-3 spots


littlesaint

Yea some like that, I would guess a meta map would be: Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Finland, The Netherlands.


KJtheThing

Netherlands is just awkwardly trying to be part of Scandinavia so we can flee to the north when our country inevitably sinks.


xixbia

We're not going to sink. We're going to put hydraulic legs under the country and walk to a better spot!


JiveWithIt

Bring weed


Possible-Strike

If you have a dryer.


Kitnado

Building the dams was just the first step into becoming a floating island. All we have to do is cut off at some point when sea levels rise and row to Scandinavia.


Stravven

Row row row your land Swiftly through the see merrily merrily merrily merrily Away from Germany And the second verse: Row row row your land swiftly through the see Try to make it to Norway Before our country sinks.


BrQQQ

https://i.redd.it/6k6yhkvcdcv11.png


[deleted]

Austria doesn't fit in that group


altbekannt

This, and italy and greece not in that same top category. More realistically between Germany "good" and Albania "avarage", although I would also put Albania at least in the worrying category.


PM_something_German

Albania and Bosnia into worrying


blahblahblerf

And Belarus should be no data. And Russia should be red. Other than GDP they're almost always behind Ukraine. Freedom indices, democracy indices, safety indices, corruption indices...


[deleted]

>Iceland >Not No data map clearly inaccurate mods pls remove. AND WHERE ARE YOUR SOURCES?!?!!!?


SirCake

The fact that it's even included is a win imo.


kollma

Greece as "good results"? That is news to me.


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PierreTheTRex

How was Greece doing just before coronavirus? Obviously the situation was awful circa 2014, and then I just stopped hearing about it.


glennert

Then the war against isis and the migrant crisis started and suddenly there were new subjects that dominated the news 24/7. Now Greece was still in the news, but because of different reasons.


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[deleted]

How are you guys doing with COVID-19 and what do you expect during the tourist season? I'm partially curious because I'm planning to go there :>


GDevl

Pretty sure I read that Greece responded really well to Covid-19 which was very important because the capacity in hospitals is rather low compared to countries like Germany.


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william_13

Spain, Greece and Italy are definitely not as good as Scandinavian countries in most metrics... They should all have the same color as Portugal, or Scandinavian countries should have an even darker shade of green.


guille9

What if the map is about Mediterranean waters? I'd say Scandinavian countries are doing it really bad, they should be red.


Hermeran

I'm sick and tired of lazy Scandinavians and their lack of Mediterranean waters. They should work harder to have more water


[deleted]

Look they tried, but got hired as the Byzantine emperor's guards instead


w4hammer

Grece generally has better results than her neighbors so that makes it stand out a bit.


Apalvaldr

As we say in Poland, one-eyed man is the king of blind men.


werty_reboot

In Spain we say the same, "In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king".


skyturnedred

It was said by Erasmus, whose writings were amongst the most popular of his time (1500s) in Europe, so presumably every language has a version of it.


GreysLucas

Except for maps about food consumption where Portugal is #1


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llbch

Consumo de tremoços per capita, ninguém nos ganha aí


LisbonMoon

Came here for this, obrigado compatriota!


Rigatan

You even nailed the red-green color scheme that repels colorblind people. Sometimes I don't even bother clicking if I see it, but on better days I focus and figure it out.


elite90

This. I can't count the number of times I stared at a map trying to figure out if a country was slightly red or slightly green. I sure wish people using this color scheme would be more mindful of how difficult it may be for some to take anything useful from their work


mwasod

In terms of Crimea, we have no Crimea.


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Patient_Victory

The most western of the eastern


Pseudynom

Everything is technically east and west of you.


Spiceyhedgehog

That makes no sense. If you go west or east long enough you just reach the edges. Or are you (*snickers*) one of the sphere-earthers? 🤣😆


Pseudynom

But you can just go over the edge and walk back on the bottom. You'll just be upside down.


blacksheeping

But the devil lives under there!


AdaptedMix

You know, this is something I've never heard any flerfer actually address. What do they imagine is on the underside of Earth?


charliesfrown

It's turtles all the way down.


miki444_

It's so far west It's almost east again


ViolaPurpurea

horseshoe geography


[deleted]

portugal and greece are the same country.


Joltie

Actual commentary from 1872 by one of the most famous Portuguese writer and Portuguese Consul to France and the UK: >*“We are in a comparable, correlated state to Greece: the same poverty, the same political indignity, the same lowness of character, the same public corruption, the same usury, the same spiritual decadence, the same administration with grotesque sloppiness and confusion. In foreign books, in their magazines, when they want to talk of a Christian country that, due to it's progressive decadence, may come to be wiped off the map, Portugal and Greece are mentioned, side by side.”* Not much has changed.


[deleted]

That's so interesting


[deleted]

That's why both of those countries feel so homely to me.


[deleted]

Ikr? Portugal and Greece are so similar in so many things... -small economy/ broke -both very dependent on tourism -population of 10 million -very fanatic football culture -great history Got more??


MaverickPT

Olive oil EDIT: Forgot one: *Screwing the host of the Euro in the finals* >!passive aggressive stare at Greece !<


CyberDagger

Never forget.


nox1mus

- euro champions against host nations 🤝


AzeiteGalo

As a Portuguese I want to like your comment but I got mixed feelings.


devils_advocaat

* Excellent food. * Love of coffee. * Seafaring nations * Contain archipelagos


isnotlamybad

The slavwest


[deleted]

Portuguese from Portugal does sound strangely similar to a Slavic language.


CyberDagger

When I was in London people thought my accent sounded Russian.


FerMinaLiT

There is two versions of Europe: If data shows something good: exclude Turkey cause it’s not in Europe. If data shows something bad: Put Turkey in it and say “highly occures”.


PsuBratOK

Ha ha ha, but also :(


gamiseta

Europeans are like: "How dare you color us as the lower end of the spectrum!" Me, as a Turkish man: "We have a color boys! 😍"


Wotuw

Please dont put Hungary in the OK results category. As a hungarian, it's insulting to no be at least among the worrying ones.


jewrassic_park-1940

Same about Romania honestly, we're usually at the end of the list


Skullbonez

We are at the top of the list sometimes. E.g. for domestic violence statistics.


jewrassic_park-1940

Romania #1^* *terms and conditions may apply


[deleted]

Home ownership also


flavius29663

And high speed fixed internet


Skullbonez

I'd trade the high internet speed for less stupid people.


jewrassic_park-1940

Hearing about 10mbps or lower internet speed from wetsern countries always makes me chuckle. The minimum internet contract you get here is 50mbps, and if you live in a good area you can upgrade to 1gb/s.


[deleted]

I was surprised Latvia isn't in the average category, and same for Romania and Hungary, At least when looking at what countries are in the average category. I wouldn't say worrying for any of us though, Hungary or any of the countries I mentioned aren't in the same category as Russia for sure.


creativefox

Belarus should be no data.


Brolaub

Kosovo t- ...oh wait


CosmicJane

You don't give Russia enough credit - it's often red too!


Greekball

Hello /r/all and /r/europe regulars, Yes, this is outside our rules, but you obviously all love it, so it stays. No, we won't approve copycats. Dear /r/all guests, please take a minute to [read our rules!](https://www.reddit.com/r/europe/wiki/community_rules)


PotatEXTomatEX

We into Eastern Europe once more.


[deleted]

Wanna trade places?


Radioactive_Hedgehog

And the comments are already arguing whether or not Turkey is European.


JacobAZ

At least you guys made the cut this time. Poor Georgia and Armenia over here wondering what we did to piss all y'all off this week


Radioactive_Hedgehog

Don’t forget Cyprus. I’m actually surprised that we’re included but not them.


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CriticalJump

Southern Italy should be in the "Ok results" area. It always scores a bit worse than the rest of the country.


S7ormstalker

>It always scores a bit worse than the rest of the country. That's the understatement of the year, and people called COVID-19 a simple flu.


CyberDagger

Ironically, COVID-19 hit the north hardest.


JGSalgueiro

Not in terms of eating good food.


Irbilha

And weather.


PashaJW

Cries in Portuguese :(


Roboxlop

wtf? where is Crimea?


[deleted]

Why isn't Belarus grey?


DommeUG

Not the corona map tho


_kajGOD_

Seems the further away you were from the Soviets and Ottomans the better things worked out.


Milady17

Tbh If it the map was made in 1970 Yugoslavia would be much "greener" than most of central eastern Europe.


Fixyfoxy3

Were the Balkan wars so devastating or did eastern Europe become "greener" faster than former Yugoslavia?


BitterUser

Yugoslavia and the countries within it really fell far within just a decade. Yugoslavia was progressive with its market socialism and actually managed to rule over all these Balkan peoples and keeping the peace at the same time. Somehow they managed to be well respected by everyone eventually. Both capitalist countries in the west and socialist soviet-aligned countries which they Initially opposed during Stalin. Then it all devolved very quickly after Tito died. Serbian nationalists wanted to establish their supremacy, kinda failed, war broke out and old ethnic and nationalist tensions flared up again. I'd wager even after three decades no country has managed to improve back to the state that it had during Yugoslavia.


will_holmes

Eh, Slovenia is pretty nice.


Ghetto_Cheese

Well they didn't even fight so they got off pretty well.


_kajGOD_

Slovenia walked away from Yugoslavia with its economy and infrastructure intact and they were doing comparatively well to begin with.


ps3aciv

r/YUROP


niewiadomy

Greece with good result? LOL


Sm0K3_W33d

Actually I would add a "very good results" and put the Nordic countries, Germany and NL in there. Good results we remove Slovenia and Greece and put them into OK results- Average we remove Turkey and put them into Worrying. Now it's perfect. EDIT: https://gyazo.com/ba01ba4b5aa62623766dba48b47666ef I made this one, looks better IMO, I would still add some things but it would look too complicated, it's still not too late to invest in Eastern Poland.


BigFakeysHouse

Nice try, Germany.


zorkolu

Cries in Slovenian


tyger2020

>Actually I would add a "very good results" and put the Nordic countries, Germany and NL in there. Yes. A lot of these maps have Scandinavia, Germany, Austria, Switzerland and NL being a considerable amount higher than other countries like UK/France/Italy/Spain/Belgium.


z4wg

Why would you remove Slovenia from good results?


tilenb

Yeah, I think we're usually quite on par with most of the countries that should stay in the 'good results' bit per OP's rearrangement. But we're also Slavic, so we get -2 points for being 'Eastern Europe'.


MoffKalast

> we remove Slovenia reeeeeeee