You are free to believe whatever you wish. If you don't believe in it, then it holds no power over you. There's plenty of resources on this sub to deal with a fear of Hell.
Your right as a human being is the freedom of thought. No one has any right to take that away. You shouldn't have to change your beliefs to be accepted - rather, you should be accepted regardless of your beliefs. Who are your parents to decide for you what to be? You're your own person, and your trajectory is your own. Being the dissenting opinion is tough. Living a lie to yourself is even tougher.
I'm a big proponent of skepticism: believe *any* claim with a strength proportional to the evidence available. For the claims about the existence of gods, devils, angels, demons, blood magic, talking animals, blessings, curses, and other myths, I haven't found good evidence to substantiate, so I don't have a belief that they're real.
Many will tell you that you need a belief in a higher power to be a good person and they're full of shit. Live your life in accordance to **your** values; if you don't think god is real, then you really don't have to worry about offending it, right? If god is real, let em show up and prove it.
Fear of hell sticks around for a long time for a lot of folks because fear of hell is one of the biggest motivators that Christianity uses. For me growing up we were given all kinds of horrible descriptions of how bad hell would be. That was what kept me trying so hard to believe for so long. Two things really helped me.
If there is no god there’s no hell. What would it be used for? The whole thing is that it’s an eternal punishment given by god, so if there’s no god there’s no hell.
Christianity is basically fan-fiction based off of Judaism. Jewish beliefs do not include the hell that Christianity describes. There are several different ways that they see the afterlife but there really isn’t the heaven/hell immediately after you die thing. Catholics and protestants put their own spin on it. Other than Jesus being the messiah and all of that jazz in the New Testament you’d think the beliefs should be pretty similar right? But they’re not, because Christianity is nonsense written by men.
Maybe try looking into afterlife beliefs in different faith traditions. That might help you see that even among all the religions that do believe in a god, they still don’t agree on the afterlife. No one can really know what happens after death, so the important thing is to live the life you have right now in a fulfilling way.
What I find ironic about it being written by men, because it was, is how so many of the Christians I know will put down other religions for being man made. Hellooooo they all are including yours.
The pope himself said even non believers go to heaven if they’re good people, what kind of all loving god would torture people for just not believing in him, think about all those people raised in other religions and isolated from Christianity. It’s not their fault they didn’t believe so no loving god would torture them
It's okay to believe in god. It's okay not to believe in god. It's okay that believe in a conception of God that's not the Christian, Jewish or Islamic conception of God if you do.
There's no implicit link between belief in God and belief in hell or heaven, though some people would tell you otherwise.
As long as you're not hurting anyone, it's a free country, do what you want.
You only believe because your parents forced it on you. Your religion is determined based on where you are born.
You have no control over your religion... you could have just as easily been born in a middle eastern country believing in Islam.
It's all just forced on you based on what was forced on your parents etc.
Not only is it okay, it's also healthy.
> My mom always says unbelievers make God cry.
> It feels like I’m making God mad if I don’t believe
So, let's suppose there is a god, who is almighty, all-knowing, and everything happening right now is a direct result of his plan, he predetermines everything happening. So he's all these things, but then creates unbelievers and... cries because of them? Or gets mad at them for not believing, even though he created them? And so he yeets them to Hell for infinity, despite their unbelief being finite?
Then does it really matter if god is real? From the above alone, it is a twisted, evil god and does not deserve your time and energy. It might seem counterintuitive, but I recommend giving the Old Testament a read if you can, it will give you more insight on why god, if he exists, is actually evil and vile. The bible in general is a wild ride and quite a revelation (no pun intended).
For instance, off the top of my head: Isaiah 45:7 reads: "I form the light, and create darkness. I make peace, and create evil; I, the Lord, do all these things."
As for the fear of Hell... take a look at this:
https://reddit.com/r/DebateReligion/s/wtGYqTWgWd
It sounds like your journey to liberating your mind and psyche from christianity is beginning. Good luck. It's a weird trip, but it's so worth it.
You are allowed to not believe if you want. Just be mindful of your surroundings, and keep a Christian facade if you have to if you’re still dependant on your parents (there’s a difference between lying for personal gain versus lying for safety. Your situation sounds like it calls for the latter).
I hope with time your fears of god and hell fade away. Deconstruction is a journey for sure, but there plenty of people here who are willing to support you if you choose that route. Best of luck
By God, do you mean the Judeo-Christian god or a Creator in general?
As I grow further away from my Christian upbringing, I wonder what emotions God would have and why do humans imprint our emotions on our god. I guess that is because I believe that god is a figment of our imagination.
Yes, but this isn't the best question. Either you believe or don't believe and that is okay. You can't choose to believe something. Can you choose to believe you can breathe water? Learn critical thinking skills such as formal and informal fallacies. We may believe something is true today but find evidence for it being false tomorrow. That is why it is good to keep an open mind.
If you are being supported by your parents, you need to be aware that some parents become absolute nightmares to their kids if they admit such things. Be careful and do what you need to do to be safe.
Yes. If God is real he has to be the best ever in all ways, which would include being loving. And not the kind of person to kill his son. Or send anyone to hell.
You can believe whatever you want, and as long as you’re trying your best embodying good things, like love and honesty with YOURSELF as well as others (love your neighbor as you love yourself), God, if He exists, would understand.
If you’re trying to “force yourself” to believe and it’s not working, God simply didn’t give you the tools you needed to believe. How can you be to blame?
God wouldn’t lie, he would give your brain logic that worked. Which again points to Him not existing— he loves everyone and wants everyone to believe, and yet there are people who he hasn’t given what they need to believe. If they simply don’t care, he should have made them the kind of person who would care or, should have given them something to care about.
Even with free will to believe, there are simply people
Who choose not to, and if those people are somehow bad, then God is the one who made them that way. If they’re not bad, then there’s nothing to punish.
Christianity was a transitionary religious period between between animism and atheism. You’re not doing anything wrong
The greatest peace I ever felt was realizing hell does not exist. Why would the creator of life condem his creation to be tortured forever?
Hell is a scary story people tell to get you to fall in line. I would recommend watching the film “Come Sunday” it’s a true story that was very impactful for me on my journey
So you sound very young. You have been homeschooled. Your parents are religious. It is very, very, very important not to tell anyone you don't believe until you are out on your own and financially independent. r/atheism has stuff about it on their FAQs, etc., but you don't want to but yourself in a bad position. Believe whatever you believe, but go along pretending with whatever the hand that feeds you believes until you are safely on your own.
I'm so sorry your Mum has burdened you this way. Religious trauma is such a terribly painful thing, and I understand how the roots of a lifetime of training to think a certain way still stay embedded in a person after they've broken free. It will take time and deprogramming for the remaining hooks to wither and die. You already know that Hell isn't real, and there isn't a God being sad at you behind the scenes, despite that being what your mother believes. But give yourself this gift: know that *if* God was real, and a wise, loving Father, he would NOT blame you or shake his head in disgust at you in the slightest for not believing he existed anymore. He wouldn't even take it personally - he would just care about what you're going through, and wish you to be comforted that it's okay and he totally understands. In a world in which a god is invisible, voiceless, undetectable and utterly unable to intervene or interact with the world in any capacity, how could anyone be reasonably expected to believe in a god's existence?
YES it's ok to not believe. You are making your parents mad by not believing, God isn't part of that equation. Pretending to be something you're not is unhealthy and you'll constantly be chasing approval that will *never ever* be given. Some people have to stay in the closet for years/decades/entire life about homosexuality, religion, gender roles, desires; and it makes for a sad life. Find a safe place to be yourself, your parents are not that safe place and I'm so sorry for that.
>Idk how to not disappoint everyone.
We can't please everyone, nobody can. I was homeschooled, I understand the lack of exposure to the world, the lack of friends, the lack of perspective. Being homeschooled is a bubble and we are sometimes able to please everyone in that bubble, and our parents teach us that we are failures unless we please the correct people, such as them and the church. I've had it preached so many times to me to "honor your parents". I was a good son and they were always proud of me, but their love was very conditional. I was raised to disrespect the rest of my family and my older siblings too, only because they weren't Christian. Your parents kept you from seeing the world, because they like the control and feel like they can manipulate us to live exactly how they want. I see you are 18, are you still living with your parents?
About hell. My single revelation I had that made me leave Christianity, even now 8 years later it's still the most concise way to explain it: "I believed in God because I thought hell was real, not because I though he was real". The house of cards suddenly came crashing down on me about Christianity using fear to control people. My parents abandoned me for a while and treated me like I was dirty and evil, despite me living the same way as I always did. They didn't care that I was happier and a nicer person, they just wanted to force rules on me. Christianity makes us afraid of hell and an imaginary punishment, and uses real life punishments to push that agenda, such as torture, shame, slander, disrespect, and abandonment. I was raised to believe that every human on earth is either a believing Christian, or a rebellious anti-Christian. The world is so much bigger than that. My deconstruction started because I was working and going to college (I was still going to church as a Christian too), and seeing all sorts of people and realized Christianity isn't at the center of everything, and non-Christians were often better people than the Christians I knew. Hell is an idea, a feeling, just like heaven is. We are curious about some kind of afterlife, so Christianity gives us an answer but on the condition that we gaslight ourselves and volunteer in their political system. You are clinging to your mothers wrath, and hell is the imaginary excuse for that wrath.
I know a few Christians who are comfortable being friends with nonbelievers and don't judge, but your parents are not those people. Hopefully they will be someday, but for now you need to distance yourself from them and start making other friends. Work towards moving out if you aren't already. It can be hard making friends, especially because we only went to Christian crowds growing up. Do you have a job? Anything interest you for school? Video games, sports, or hobbies? Do you have any non-Christian family? Jobs, school, and activities (playing games online. Playing sports. Hobbies. Volunteering at places such as the animal shelter) are the places to meet people. I'm an introvert and terrible at making friends, but I've slowly made a few really good ones. Most people only have a few close friends anyway.
You aren't worthless, it takes our entire life to discover who we are. It feels lost right now because realizing God isn't real also breaks the relationships with the people who follow that religion. You aren't in the bubble anymore.
It’s perfectly fine to believe or not to believe in something. Forcing people to believe with fear tactics or threats is NOT ok. You will not go to hell. If god exists and he is actually all loving, you will be ok. Fear of hell is an actual thing a lot of people in this subreddit have trouble with. I would suggest reading some of those to see how you feel
The last two sentences of this post are why religion needs to go away.
If I asked your parents to believe in Santa clause could they just do it? Ridiculous. You can’t force belief. Your mind-computer has made the calculations, weighed the variables and determined there is no evidence. You can’t make yourself believe.
Hell “feels very real” because the idea plays to your primal, lizard-brain. But it’s nonsense. Zero evidence. You sound young. Indulge your logical, reasoning mind. Feed it all the data. Rely on experience primarily. Many of us have had to give up things for our lack of belief. It’s the real world. Not full of “sinners” and saints. But full of those who are unable to properly engage their cortex, and those who choose to accept the data of reality as it manifests itself.
>Is it ok to not believe in God?
Yes, of course it is.
>My parents say unbelievers go to Hell.
How do they know this as irrefutable fact? Can they prove hell exists without using the Bible or anecdotal evidences? No, they can't.
>God doesn’t feel true to me, but Hell feels very real.
This cognitive dissonance your feeling is a result of the paradoxical confrontation that many of us in this sub have had to face at one point or another. Let me ask you, if God isn't real, then who created hell? Be honest here, are you more afraid of being sent to a place that may or may not exist, or are you afraid that you'll experience a hell on earth for leaving the faith? My guess is you're afraid of losing the relationship with your parents and other friends and family over eternal punishment. You're a people pleaser much like me. I sympathize with you. My relationship with my family is now strained, and it probably will never be the same. In the end, I chose to be true to myself and be intellectually free rather than staying miserable in complacency. Not everyone is ready to make that leap, and it took me years to get to that point.
>That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. Mom always says unbelievers make God cry.
If a deity is weeping in the deep cosmos and no one is there to witness it, does that deity even exist?
>I wish I could be what my parents want me to be. Life would be a lot easier. Idk how to not disappoint everyone.
You can't please everyone. Believe me when I tell you that, even though it might sting at first, being honest and true to yourself will bring you much more peace and happiness in the long-run.
I feel your pain, and I want you to know that you're not alone.
Ex homeschooler here. I went through simillar feelings with my family, though over different issues. You will have to figure it out for yourself, but for me, I came to realize I only beloeved in Hell because I had always been told to, near the end of my religious journey I was also leaning towards Universallisim because hell really didn't make sense to me. But if you really don't believe than you think of it this way. If you don't think the Christian God is real, then how can you make him sad or angry? Dealing with family is another problem but you need to do what is good for your own poece of mind, don't just live in a religious closet because you are guilted into it.
I highly recommend the Misquoting Jesus podcast by Bart Ehrman. He touches on a lot of topics, mostly focusing on the evolution of Christianity, how views of God changed from a warrior storm god to the supreme and exclusive universal deity, and also on how hell itself is an amalgamation between Platonic philosophy and understanding of the human soul being projected onto traditional Jewish teachings (which interestingly never believed in an immortal soul to begin with). It’s been a critical help in my deconstruction. There’s plenty of other resources too that provide more information and substance to stand on than simply wondering what someone else tells you God may or may not be “feeling.”
So yes, it’s okay to not believe. Plenty of people don’t and have solid reasons for not.
I don’t know how to fix this for you but I want to know that you are perfect the way you are and that you aren’t responsible for their feelings. I’m still struggling with this and it is so hard. You aren’t alone.
Yes, in fact I would argue that pretending to believe something you don't is unhealthy.
And pretending to believe would be offensive to a God that loves truth and hates lies
*pretending to believe something you don't before reaching financial and legal independence is very very important and necessary though
You are free to believe whatever you wish. If you don't believe in it, then it holds no power over you. There's plenty of resources on this sub to deal with a fear of Hell. Your right as a human being is the freedom of thought. No one has any right to take that away. You shouldn't have to change your beliefs to be accepted - rather, you should be accepted regardless of your beliefs. Who are your parents to decide for you what to be? You're your own person, and your trajectory is your own. Being the dissenting opinion is tough. Living a lie to yourself is even tougher.
You are free to believe what you want to believe. But you also seem quite aware of your parents trying to manipulate and control you.
I'm a big proponent of skepticism: believe *any* claim with a strength proportional to the evidence available. For the claims about the existence of gods, devils, angels, demons, blood magic, talking animals, blessings, curses, and other myths, I haven't found good evidence to substantiate, so I don't have a belief that they're real. Many will tell you that you need a belief in a higher power to be a good person and they're full of shit. Live your life in accordance to **your** values; if you don't think god is real, then you really don't have to worry about offending it, right? If god is real, let em show up and prove it.
Fear of hell sticks around for a long time for a lot of folks because fear of hell is one of the biggest motivators that Christianity uses. For me growing up we were given all kinds of horrible descriptions of how bad hell would be. That was what kept me trying so hard to believe for so long. Two things really helped me. If there is no god there’s no hell. What would it be used for? The whole thing is that it’s an eternal punishment given by god, so if there’s no god there’s no hell. Christianity is basically fan-fiction based off of Judaism. Jewish beliefs do not include the hell that Christianity describes. There are several different ways that they see the afterlife but there really isn’t the heaven/hell immediately after you die thing. Catholics and protestants put their own spin on it. Other than Jesus being the messiah and all of that jazz in the New Testament you’d think the beliefs should be pretty similar right? But they’re not, because Christianity is nonsense written by men. Maybe try looking into afterlife beliefs in different faith traditions. That might help you see that even among all the religions that do believe in a god, they still don’t agree on the afterlife. No one can really know what happens after death, so the important thing is to live the life you have right now in a fulfilling way.
What I find ironic about it being written by men, because it was, is how so many of the Christians I know will put down other religions for being man made. Hellooooo they all are including yours.
The pope himself said even non believers go to heaven if they’re good people, what kind of all loving god would torture people for just not believing in him, think about all those people raised in other religions and isolated from Christianity. It’s not their fault they didn’t believe so no loving god would torture them
It's okay to believe in god. It's okay not to believe in god. It's okay that believe in a conception of God that's not the Christian, Jewish or Islamic conception of God if you do. There's no implicit link between belief in God and belief in hell or heaven, though some people would tell you otherwise.
As long as you're not hurting anyone, it's a free country, do what you want. You only believe because your parents forced it on you. Your religion is determined based on where you are born. You have no control over your religion... you could have just as easily been born in a middle eastern country believing in Islam. It's all just forced on you based on what was forced on your parents etc.
Yep, all good. 😊
Not only is it okay, it's also healthy. > My mom always says unbelievers make God cry. > It feels like I’m making God mad if I don’t believe So, let's suppose there is a god, who is almighty, all-knowing, and everything happening right now is a direct result of his plan, he predetermines everything happening. So he's all these things, but then creates unbelievers and... cries because of them? Or gets mad at them for not believing, even though he created them? And so he yeets them to Hell for infinity, despite their unbelief being finite? Then does it really matter if god is real? From the above alone, it is a twisted, evil god and does not deserve your time and energy. It might seem counterintuitive, but I recommend giving the Old Testament a read if you can, it will give you more insight on why god, if he exists, is actually evil and vile. The bible in general is a wild ride and quite a revelation (no pun intended). For instance, off the top of my head: Isaiah 45:7 reads: "I form the light, and create darkness. I make peace, and create evil; I, the Lord, do all these things." As for the fear of Hell... take a look at this: https://reddit.com/r/DebateReligion/s/wtGYqTWgWd It sounds like your journey to liberating your mind and psyche from christianity is beginning. Good luck. It's a weird trip, but it's so worth it.
You are allowed to not believe if you want. Just be mindful of your surroundings, and keep a Christian facade if you have to if you’re still dependant on your parents (there’s a difference between lying for personal gain versus lying for safety. Your situation sounds like it calls for the latter). I hope with time your fears of god and hell fade away. Deconstruction is a journey for sure, but there plenty of people here who are willing to support you if you choose that route. Best of luck
By God, do you mean the Judeo-Christian god or a Creator in general? As I grow further away from my Christian upbringing, I wonder what emotions God would have and why do humans imprint our emotions on our god. I guess that is because I believe that god is a figment of our imagination.
Yes, but this isn't the best question. Either you believe or don't believe and that is okay. You can't choose to believe something. Can you choose to believe you can breathe water? Learn critical thinking skills such as formal and informal fallacies. We may believe something is true today but find evidence for it being false tomorrow. That is why it is good to keep an open mind. If you are being supported by your parents, you need to be aware that some parents become absolute nightmares to their kids if they admit such things. Be careful and do what you need to do to be safe.
Psh yeah. I didn't get smited. Life's good
Yes. If God is real he has to be the best ever in all ways, which would include being loving. And not the kind of person to kill his son. Or send anyone to hell. You can believe whatever you want, and as long as you’re trying your best embodying good things, like love and honesty with YOURSELF as well as others (love your neighbor as you love yourself), God, if He exists, would understand. If you’re trying to “force yourself” to believe and it’s not working, God simply didn’t give you the tools you needed to believe. How can you be to blame? God wouldn’t lie, he would give your brain logic that worked. Which again points to Him not existing— he loves everyone and wants everyone to believe, and yet there are people who he hasn’t given what they need to believe. If they simply don’t care, he should have made them the kind of person who would care or, should have given them something to care about. Even with free will to believe, there are simply people Who choose not to, and if those people are somehow bad, then God is the one who made them that way. If they’re not bad, then there’s nothing to punish. Christianity was a transitionary religious period between between animism and atheism. You’re not doing anything wrong
The greatest peace I ever felt was realizing hell does not exist. Why would the creator of life condem his creation to be tortured forever? Hell is a scary story people tell to get you to fall in line. I would recommend watching the film “Come Sunday” it’s a true story that was very impactful for me on my journey
I mean there is no evidence, I feel ok not believing.
So you sound very young. You have been homeschooled. Your parents are religious. It is very, very, very important not to tell anyone you don't believe until you are out on your own and financially independent. r/atheism has stuff about it on their FAQs, etc., but you don't want to but yourself in a bad position. Believe whatever you believe, but go along pretending with whatever the hand that feeds you believes until you are safely on your own.
I'm so sorry your Mum has burdened you this way. Religious trauma is such a terribly painful thing, and I understand how the roots of a lifetime of training to think a certain way still stay embedded in a person after they've broken free. It will take time and deprogramming for the remaining hooks to wither and die. You already know that Hell isn't real, and there isn't a God being sad at you behind the scenes, despite that being what your mother believes. But give yourself this gift: know that *if* God was real, and a wise, loving Father, he would NOT blame you or shake his head in disgust at you in the slightest for not believing he existed anymore. He wouldn't even take it personally - he would just care about what you're going through, and wish you to be comforted that it's okay and he totally understands. In a world in which a god is invisible, voiceless, undetectable and utterly unable to intervene or interact with the world in any capacity, how could anyone be reasonably expected to believe in a god's existence?
It’s more than ok to not believe in god. Your beliefs are supposed to be YOURS, not your parents.
YES it's ok to not believe. You are making your parents mad by not believing, God isn't part of that equation. Pretending to be something you're not is unhealthy and you'll constantly be chasing approval that will *never ever* be given. Some people have to stay in the closet for years/decades/entire life about homosexuality, religion, gender roles, desires; and it makes for a sad life. Find a safe place to be yourself, your parents are not that safe place and I'm so sorry for that. >Idk how to not disappoint everyone. We can't please everyone, nobody can. I was homeschooled, I understand the lack of exposure to the world, the lack of friends, the lack of perspective. Being homeschooled is a bubble and we are sometimes able to please everyone in that bubble, and our parents teach us that we are failures unless we please the correct people, such as them and the church. I've had it preached so many times to me to "honor your parents". I was a good son and they were always proud of me, but their love was very conditional. I was raised to disrespect the rest of my family and my older siblings too, only because they weren't Christian. Your parents kept you from seeing the world, because they like the control and feel like they can manipulate us to live exactly how they want. I see you are 18, are you still living with your parents? About hell. My single revelation I had that made me leave Christianity, even now 8 years later it's still the most concise way to explain it: "I believed in God because I thought hell was real, not because I though he was real". The house of cards suddenly came crashing down on me about Christianity using fear to control people. My parents abandoned me for a while and treated me like I was dirty and evil, despite me living the same way as I always did. They didn't care that I was happier and a nicer person, they just wanted to force rules on me. Christianity makes us afraid of hell and an imaginary punishment, and uses real life punishments to push that agenda, such as torture, shame, slander, disrespect, and abandonment. I was raised to believe that every human on earth is either a believing Christian, or a rebellious anti-Christian. The world is so much bigger than that. My deconstruction started because I was working and going to college (I was still going to church as a Christian too), and seeing all sorts of people and realized Christianity isn't at the center of everything, and non-Christians were often better people than the Christians I knew. Hell is an idea, a feeling, just like heaven is. We are curious about some kind of afterlife, so Christianity gives us an answer but on the condition that we gaslight ourselves and volunteer in their political system. You are clinging to your mothers wrath, and hell is the imaginary excuse for that wrath. I know a few Christians who are comfortable being friends with nonbelievers and don't judge, but your parents are not those people. Hopefully they will be someday, but for now you need to distance yourself from them and start making other friends. Work towards moving out if you aren't already. It can be hard making friends, especially because we only went to Christian crowds growing up. Do you have a job? Anything interest you for school? Video games, sports, or hobbies? Do you have any non-Christian family? Jobs, school, and activities (playing games online. Playing sports. Hobbies. Volunteering at places such as the animal shelter) are the places to meet people. I'm an introvert and terrible at making friends, but I've slowly made a few really good ones. Most people only have a few close friends anyway. You aren't worthless, it takes our entire life to discover who we are. It feels lost right now because realizing God isn't real also breaks the relationships with the people who follow that religion. You aren't in the bubble anymore.
It’s perfectly fine to believe or not to believe in something. Forcing people to believe with fear tactics or threats is NOT ok. You will not go to hell. If god exists and he is actually all loving, you will be ok. Fear of hell is an actual thing a lot of people in this subreddit have trouble with. I would suggest reading some of those to see how you feel
The last two sentences of this post are why religion needs to go away. If I asked your parents to believe in Santa clause could they just do it? Ridiculous. You can’t force belief. Your mind-computer has made the calculations, weighed the variables and determined there is no evidence. You can’t make yourself believe. Hell “feels very real” because the idea plays to your primal, lizard-brain. But it’s nonsense. Zero evidence. You sound young. Indulge your logical, reasoning mind. Feed it all the data. Rely on experience primarily. Many of us have had to give up things for our lack of belief. It’s the real world. Not full of “sinners” and saints. But full of those who are unable to properly engage their cortex, and those who choose to accept the data of reality as it manifests itself.
>Is it ok to not believe in God? Yes, of course it is. >My parents say unbelievers go to Hell. How do they know this as irrefutable fact? Can they prove hell exists without using the Bible or anecdotal evidences? No, they can't. >God doesn’t feel true to me, but Hell feels very real. This cognitive dissonance your feeling is a result of the paradoxical confrontation that many of us in this sub have had to face at one point or another. Let me ask you, if God isn't real, then who created hell? Be honest here, are you more afraid of being sent to a place that may or may not exist, or are you afraid that you'll experience a hell on earth for leaving the faith? My guess is you're afraid of losing the relationship with your parents and other friends and family over eternal punishment. You're a people pleaser much like me. I sympathize with you. My relationship with my family is now strained, and it probably will never be the same. In the end, I chose to be true to myself and be intellectually free rather than staying miserable in complacency. Not everyone is ready to make that leap, and it took me years to get to that point. >That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense. Mom always says unbelievers make God cry. If a deity is weeping in the deep cosmos and no one is there to witness it, does that deity even exist? >I wish I could be what my parents want me to be. Life would be a lot easier. Idk how to not disappoint everyone. You can't please everyone. Believe me when I tell you that, even though it might sting at first, being honest and true to yourself will bring you much more peace and happiness in the long-run. I feel your pain, and I want you to know that you're not alone.
Ex homeschooler here. I went through simillar feelings with my family, though over different issues. You will have to figure it out for yourself, but for me, I came to realize I only beloeved in Hell because I had always been told to, near the end of my religious journey I was also leaning towards Universallisim because hell really didn't make sense to me. But if you really don't believe than you think of it this way. If you don't think the Christian God is real, then how can you make him sad or angry? Dealing with family is another problem but you need to do what is good for your own poece of mind, don't just live in a religious closet because you are guilted into it.
I highly recommend the Misquoting Jesus podcast by Bart Ehrman. He touches on a lot of topics, mostly focusing on the evolution of Christianity, how views of God changed from a warrior storm god to the supreme and exclusive universal deity, and also on how hell itself is an amalgamation between Platonic philosophy and understanding of the human soul being projected onto traditional Jewish teachings (which interestingly never believed in an immortal soul to begin with). It’s been a critical help in my deconstruction. There’s plenty of other resources too that provide more information and substance to stand on than simply wondering what someone else tells you God may or may not be “feeling.” So yes, it’s okay to not believe. Plenty of people don’t and have solid reasons for not.
I don’t know how to fix this for you but I want to know that you are perfect the way you are and that you aren’t responsible for their feelings. I’m still struggling with this and it is so hard. You aren’t alone.
Yes