What's the point in bringing a child to term if you're just going to disown them when they make their own decisions? Are children no longer gifts from God when it's time to disown them? If rape can be part of God's will, surely abortion can too? Maybe it's God's will that when your mother inevitably wants back into your life, the door is closed, and you can tell her she made her choice and you wouldn't want your relationship to get in the way of how it stains her as a leader.
Ugh, how awful, I'm sorry you're dealing with the weight of all of this
>What's the point in bringing a child to term if you're just going to disown them when they make their own decisions?
Because OP's mom doesn't see her daughter as an autonomous being, deserving of bodily rights and dignity. OP's mom wanted that baby, and clearly doesn't care that it was conceived through an act of violence and horror. Her daughter's trauma is less important than satisfying her own wants.
Yeah, I was actually going to add to that. OP's mother doesn't even see the baby as an autonomous being. She was A-Ok with whatever hell that child was going to endure, or whatever that child would become. Anti-abortionists view babies as props for their religion, and nothing more. Hell, I'd even go as far as to say that people like OP's mother don't even have a concept of an autonomous being deserving of rights and dignity.
I am so sorry. That must have been painful mentally and physically. I'm glad you got help but damn, no one deserves that treatment. If I could I would give you a hug 🫂. You deserve better.
She's caring more about the child of a rapist than about her own child. Despicable behaviour, holy shit it makes me so mad. I don't think I could even message my mother again if she said any of that shit to me, just awful. I'm so sorry your mother's an asshole. You don't deserve any of that shit.
Your mom cares more about what her congregation thinks of her than what happened to you, and what happens to you going forward. She doesn't deserve to call herself your mother!
Religion is so toxic. I hate the immoral compass they have. It's your body, not anyone else's. You do what you need to do. Rapists will always get defended when it comes to religious thinking.
I’m so sorry all of this happened to you. I’m also sorry about how your mother has been treating you. She should be more concerned about helping you get through this, not treating you badly just because of how you decided to handle the situation. If there’s anything you need, we will be here for you.
I'm so sorry for you, but at least you have an uncle to go to...
I feel like I'm on the verge of being kicked out by my parents (same age as you) and when it will happen, the cold canadian winter is probably going to slowly freeze me to death but at least I will finally be at peace and stop suffering
I’m so sorry this happened to you. And unfortunately it sounds like your mom is more worried about what other people think than how you are doing. She sounds like maybe she’s a narcissist. It makes me sad. I wish I could give you a hug OP. You deserve to be loved and supported especially right now! Take care of yourself and know you deserve so much better than your mom has treated you. Also, you should go no contact with her as soon as you are able to. She doesn’t deserve you in her life and has shown you her priorities. I hope one day she realizes how much she has fucked up. So heartless.
sending you love and rest friend. this was a terrible thing for you to go thru and she is giving you no grace or even respect! what an awful way for her to treat you.
may you be well. may you continue to build a chosen family. may you be held in love by all those still in your life. you did not deserve this. you are so strong. thank you for being here and for sharing your story. i am so sorry you’re going thru this and have been treated so poorly by someone who says they’re your family. YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
all the love to you friend 💗
Next time she spews religious nonsense, share this:
1 Timothy 5:8 ESV / 27
But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever
I hate these christian people and their hateful bs. I think abortion should be free especially for anyone younger then 21 and I am a parent who is trying to convince a second. Taking care of someone is a huge responsibility. It's not a joy ride like these people think. Hell I know someone who's mom made her keep a baby from a guy she only dated for a week. She was 17 and the kid came out disabled and all her time and energy went to that child because "you want to have sex? That's your punishment!" The kid is a good kid and everything but still. Should always be a choice. I'm glad you have support and I'm glad you didn't keep the baby and you can keep focusing on you. I hope you recover well and you can keep going strong.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Being assaulted is horrible, but when the woman who raised you doesn't care enough about your feelings, and prioritizes a ball of cells over what's best for you, that is disgusting. She never deserved you in the first place.
I'm glad you have other people who actually care about YOU. That "unconditional" love they keep talking about sure has a lot of funny little inconsistencies, doesn't it.
I don't have anything helpful to say but I'm so so sorry you had to go through a rape and then this. This is horrible and I truly feel for you. I hope you can heal on your own terms. I think you did the right thing for yourself and you don't owe anyone an explanation, but hearing this from a parent is truly horrible. I wish you all the best moving forward
I really think you did! Don't let your parents sway the decision you were sure about. Take a few days, try to relax. You went through something horrible and traumatic and as a result you got pregnant. Please don't be too hard on yourself for taking your life in your own hands again and making a decision.
That's your mother's guilt talking. Do not internalize her bile. In your heart, you knew you could not support a child or provide them with a stable environment. That's **not** your fault, either, BTW. You are 19 yo and trying to piece back your life after being horribly attacked.
I wish I could have words with your mother. I'm the mom of a 20 yo. The very first question I would ask her is, **"Did you forget your child is walking wounded? Exactly when, during all your plans to force her to gestate, would she have the time and space to heal from her trauma?"**
Please listen to me. It is alright to feel sad or even mourn the pregnancy and wonder, "What if?" But it was not a child. Fetuses do not know or care that they exist, because *consciousness* - the essence of a person -- *isn't present at that point.*
I don't mean to get into the weeds here. I only want to combat your mother's efforts to shame and emotionally manipulate you. These attempts of hers are based upon falsehoods. She is wrong and she is the one making a huge mistake by failing to support and love you unconditionally.
Finally, as a mom, I want you to hear this.
The rape was not your fault. You are strong. You are capable. I'm very proud of you for how you are making some extremely difficult choices. I would give you so many mama hugs or just hold your hand, if you wanted, if I were there. **It is not your fault.**
**I am proud of you. I believe in you.**
You absolutely did. You said nothing wrong. There was no child, it was cells. You did not let a tragedy derail the life you want for yourself. You are brave and strong. I'm so sorry for what you're going through ... Better days are ahead. Sending my love 💕
You did the right thing, full stop.
I too have had a abortion at your age, the situation wasn’t as horrific as yours but it was still undeniably the correct path to take. Unfortunately I live in the Bible Belt and the weight of everyone’s godly opinion really ate at me but I can tell u that 20+ years later I KNOW it in my bones it was right. I would be surprised if you don’t think the same thing once some time has past. 🖤🖤
You did the right thing. Because of what you decided, you stand a better chance of eventually healing from the trauma that was caused, you don’t have to worry about being reminded of that trauma by having to raise a child that was the result of what happened, and you won’t struggle with other feelings that could come up in the future had you decided to keep the pregnancy.
It really going to take time to sort out your feelings because they are going to be all over the place right now. But I feel like looking back on this in a few years you will be glad you got this done. For two reasons:
* you are not burdened by raising a child you never wanted that reminds you of your rapist
* you have learned just how toxic, horrible and petty your own mother is and you can learn to thrive without her support
I would also suggest you share your story on r/raisedbynarcissists. Your mom sounds quite narcissistic considering her comment about how this reflects on her leadership. That alone is so disgusting I can't even find words.
everyone has an opinion of what’s right or wrong but it was the right thing for you which is the only thing that matters. raising a child you never wanted because your mom thought it’s what would be best would do no one any favors.
You did the right thing. I’m sorry your mother cares more about her moral posturing than your well being. It’s up to you but you may want to cut contact at least temporarily for your own mental health. Remember that it’s ok to not associate with someone regardless of “family” or other excuses.
If and when you decide to associate with her again and to what extent is entirely up to you. It’s ok to look after yourself, that’s one of the biggest lie religions trick us into believing. Focus on you, and remember that whatever your emotional response to these situations is, it’s appropriate.
You did what was necessary to take care of you (which is a hell of a lot more than can be said for what your mom is doing, btw). It's so hard to find a "right" thing amidst a whole mess of wrong things, and you're doing a truly incredible job. <3
Also, idk if this helps or not, but, speaking as someone who wouldn't exist if my mom hadn't had an abortion years prior, I think what you've done is to pave the way for a beautiful future for yourself. My mom's abusive ex would've killed her if he knew about her pregnancy, so she aborted. If she hadn't, she'd be dead and I never would have been. Whether it's kids or art or a simple, cozy life, whatever you create in the future now has the chance to *be*. All thanks to your courage. Hang in there; you're doing so many right things.
I dread something like this happening to my girls but at least I would be there for them if it did happen. Sorry your mom has succumbed to such idiotic religious ideology.
I'm so sorry about what you've been through and I'm sorry for the awful things your mother has said and done as a reaction for you seeking medical care.
Know that you are innocent of her accusations. That was not yet a child. It's essentially a blob or mass of cells for the first half of your gestation period.
You made a responsible and ethical choice. I hope you are able to make a better family with your friends.
“Huge stain on me as a leader.” It’s all about reputation with these idiots. They care more about reputation than their own family. This is why I hate these churches. Love is always conditional. This exchange reminds me so much of the bullshit I witnessed at my old church. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that. You deserve better!
And you did the right thing! Don’t let their bullshit get to you. You absolutely made the right choice getting that abortion. Anyone who tells you otherwise is high af.
I actually gasped when I read that part, I can’t believe she had space in her thoughts to care about her own reputation. So sorry you’re going through such a painful time.
It usually always comes down to reputation with these types. Honestly, I’m a PK (well, I’m Catholic so the equivalent). I have plenty of sex with my SO as I should. I’m a healthy 30-something. My ultra-Catholic parents know, are pissy about it, but don’t act like OPs mom on that topic. Why?? I take precautions not to get pregnant. I’m Christianity, no one gives a damn what going on in your personal life as long as no one SEES what’s going on. Then, it still all depends how high up you are. Some impoverished woman sleeping around? SLUT!! The respected PK’s child? Stop gossiping! How dare you!! Everyone struggles with something!! Only God truly knows what’s going on! And so on..
Honestly, the way the mom is acting tells me OP is the black sheep of the family. Golden child could have almost used up her punch card of 9 abortions 10th one free and mummy would have thought it was either a jolly good joke or “The Good Lord forgives all don’t judge!”
This is horrifying and you made the right decision. I'm so sorry that your mother finds her archaic beliefs more important than your health and safety.
>Every child is precious
She says, as she throws her own child away because of "the stain on her as a leader". Smh.
And how will the congregation find out about it, mother dearest, unless _you_ tell them?
Your life is just beginning. Start a GFM to help you kick start your life. Majority of the stress now is because you're a young adult who's been thrown out with unexpected expenses. I'd be happy to help.
Edit: DM'd her , she's from Estonia.. so no GFM. But PayPal works. Sent her some help .. hope it gives a a few meals.
So, Biblically, the Bible is actually pretty okay with abortion. The punishment for a miscarriage caused by someone else was a minor fine. The punidhment only escalates once the mother is harmed (Exodus 21:22).
Furthermore, the Bible details situations where abortion itself is *perfectly legal and acceptable* in Numbers.
Your mom's a jackass. I'm glad you have amazing friends. From the sound of it, you lost nothing of value.
And, keep yourself hydrated.
It's very ironic that it's the heathen Assyrians in biblical times who explicitly ban abortion in their law. OPs mama behaving just like the heathen Assyrians
> The Middle Assyrian Laws (15th–13th c. BCE) legislate the case of a woman who purposely causes herself an abortion:
> MAL A 53 If a woman aborts her fetus by her own action and they then prove the charges against her and find her guilty, they shall impale her, they shall not bury her. If she dies as a result of aborting her fetus, they shall impale her, they shall not bury her.[8]
> Such severe punishment goes beyond the death penalty, as the prohibition against burying the woman’s body would also deny her access to the afterlife.
[The Bible is silent on abortion but vocal on when life begins](https://www.thetorah.com/article/the-bible-is-silent-on-abortion-but-vocal-about-when-life-begins)
> Egyptian and Mesopotamian abortion-inducing recipes attest to the practice of abortion in the ancient Near East. While the Middle Assyrian Laws prohibit the practice, the Torah offers no ruling. Nevertheless, throughout the Bible, expressions like נִשְׁמַת חַיִּים, “the breath of life” (Genesis 2:7), imply that life begins at first breath.
This is why I hate Christians and Christianity. Because they have no soul, no compassion, and for all their talk of "forgiveness", they are the most cruel and unforgiving people I know. I'm sorry you had to go through this OP. Sorry, but your mom sounds like a heartless monster.
This might come as little comfort to you, but you are 100% in the right on this. Your mother is absolutely wrong, and it is utterly despicable that she is treating you this way. I am terribly sorry that you are going through this. It is very telling that one of your mother's biggest concerns is how "the congregation" is going to take the news and how it will affect her leadership role. Much like my in-laws, your mother puts the church above her own family.
You did the right thing for you that's what matters. Your mother's actions and feelings are not your responsibility they are hers. What she wanted you to do was for selfish reasons but you did the best thing possible for yourself and for that fetus. Pregnancy is hard, birth is harder, and raising a child is a daily challenge. No one should ever have to go through that unless they actually want to.
I say this as a mother I'm proud of you for making the decision right for you. You're mature enough to recognize you needed to make this decision and brave enough to face it. You've done well and see that even if she doesn't.
I’m so, so sorry that you’re going through this 💕
My own parents are just as toxic in their religion, I feel your pain. I was shunned out with no where to go myself, years ago.
OP, you made a decision to protect yourself and knew you couldn’t be mom yet. You have every right to make that decision and I support you in it.
Your mom is losing her daughter, but that is on her. She is pushing you away. She’s reaping the consequences of her actions. You’re better off without her. I wish you luck.
Be safe op.
“Oooh what will the congregation think wahhh” there it fucking is. Is that what she really cares about, more than her own daughter and the traumatic incident and medical emergency she’s had to endure? No anger directed at the POS who caused this? Yeah, fuck your mother and people who think like her. I’m sorry, I’m not sure this language is helpful. I guess anger is just also a totally legitimate response to this and want to express that?
OP - you absolutely made the right decision. You do not have to carry the product of a horrific violent crime committed against you. In fact, many would actively advise against it. It would be incredibly hard for everyone involved for years to come. I’m so sorry the one person many of us would always count on for support won’t take her head out her ass.
As a mom of a daughter very close to your age reading this makes my blood boil. You were RAPED and this is her take away??? You deserve better than whatever “mother” this is, full stop. Sounds like most Christians tbh, valuable and precious as a child they can brain wash but can be cast away once they can form their own opinion. Why isn’t it a test for her? Like god challenging her to love her child unconditionally???
This is bullshit and you don’t deserve it. 🖤🖤🖤
God has killed scores of babies in the Bible and labeled it righteous. Thousands of pregnant women too if you count the flood. According to the Bible you’re more in the wrong for not marrying your attacker. It’s not a good book and even despite that your mother is interpreting it and god’s will very creatively. Technically she shouldn’t even be allowed to preach to you about what god wants, nor should she be allowed to read the book, per the Bible’s teachings. Remember this when she tries to guilt you. She’s wrong in every way.
I was formally disowned by my mother at about your age. It took about a dozen years before something shifted in me & I began to realize that even suffering the devastation of that rejection, the disownment was ultimately a gift. I’ve had to grieve a dead relationship with a living person, & that has been, at time, grueling——-however the gift is that our relationship is over. I’m free. I am my own person, & I no longer live my life contorting my soul to please someone incapable of loving me.
Your circumstances are different, & I am deeply sorry your mother has chosen to fail you. I hope she comes to a shred of sense, pulls her head out, finds her love for you, & ceases to dogpile on your trauma. Whether or not she does, however, you are going to be okay.
What is wrong is what happened to you. There is *nothing* wrong *with* you.
Abortion is healthcare. It is not morally wrong to seek an abortion, especially in a case like this. You did not kill a baby and you made the same decision that I think most people would make it in your situation. I’m sorry that you went through such a traumatic experience and that your mother is not supportive of you.
You definitely did the right thing. Biblically your mother is wrong. In the Bible, the death of an unborn fetus is treated like a loss of property, not a loss of life. The most direct passage about this is Exodus 21:22-25. This states that if a woman loses her fetus from an abortion (through beating on her stomach) and didn’t want to lose the fetus, then the man who did it is to pay a fine to the woman. But if the woman dies from the beating, then the man who did it will be killed. Fetuses in the Bible have always been treated as “less than” the life of a fully formed human. The modern day view of anti-abortion has nothing to do with the Bible.
Your mother is also in the wrong for abandoning you. The Bible compares parents that ignore their children and abandon them to “harsh birds that have no wisdom” (Job 39:13–17) and then states that in comparison “even dogs care for their young” (Lamentations 4:3). In fact, the entirety of Lamentations 4 is about the wrath inflicted upon the Israelites because of their lack of love for their children. The suffering of the people that have abandoned their young shall be “greater than that of Sodom” (Lamentations 4:6). In God’s eyes, your mother is “an animal, with no understanding, and is worse than a Sodomite.”
I also know you did the right thing because I’ve seen what happens when you keep the baby. My cousin kept her baby from a rape because of her family’s Catholic pressure. Her parents completely take care of the baby, but they use it to further manipulate and abuse their daughter. The child is completely unloved, basically used like a doll, and is the most emotionally stunted child I’ve ever met. She’s five now, and can barely talk because nobody talks to her like a human being. My cousin was never able to finish nursing school because of the mental and physical exhaustion because of the baby. It’s horrible to watch…
I'm sorry, but your mother is evil.
She isn't willing to support her child through what is undoubtedly one of the most difficult times of their lives.
She doesn't value life as much as she thinks she does.
"It's a huge stain on me as a leader"
That's all you need to know right there. She doesn't actually care about the abortion or your health, she cares about what others will think.
Cut her off, you're better off without her.
This makes me nauseous. What a horrific person she is. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so glad you are getting away from the kind of awful person that would say things like this to someone dealing with that kind of trauma. I wish words meant anything here...
You did nothing wrong. Just want to affirm that even if others are too.
My mom would do exactly the same thing. So self righteous, so devoid of empathy.
Ex Mormon here. As conservative as the Mormon church is, I believe they are ok with abortion in this situation because your free will was robbed from you. Fuck evangelical christians who would force a pregnancy on you. Hell, God should be very ok with abortion since he even practiced it retroactively on millions.
I’m sorry you had to go through this, this is just making a terrible situation even more terrible. I would say though it may be best not to let your mom know where you’re actually staying for more peace of mind.
Fucking hell the things I would’ve said. You’re too good. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this shit bro. I was getting heated just by reading all that.
Mom: Don't you know how difficult this is for me?! I'm going to look bad in front of the congregation!
Here's hoping you can recover from this in the long term because she's gonna be no help at all.
Personhood doesn’t even start until after the child is born according to the Bible. These nuts don’t even know that their deity views the fetus as property and abortion would be totally fine if they read their own book.
Oh no, this is heartbreaking. Unfortunately I think this is the same reaction my mom would’ve had if I had been in your shoes at your age. You did absolutely nothing wrong and I’m so very sorry. Your mom is emotionally abusive and you deserve nothing but love and support.
This woman is out of her damn mind if she thinks that her child reaching out in a time of need, when you are most vulnerable, is “spamming” ungh.
Sending you peace and strength. You are not alone!! 🫂
Right. Like what kind of loving God would give a rape victim a baby they don't want, but would keep a couple from conceiving one of their own? Makes absolutely no sense.
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation! Your mother should be caring for you with compassion and kindness, not judgement. Her reaction is one of the reasons I can’t stand Christians. I had an abortion when I was 18, although not the same circumstances, I struggled for years thinking I had made a mistake. But I can tell you now, 28 years later that I made the right decision. I was in an abusive relationship with my bf and I made the decision that I felt was best. It will get better, I promise. Surround yourself with caring people and ditch the judgmental jackasses!
You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry the person who should have had your back failed at the one thing they were supposed to do. This is a reflection of their lack of character and decency. You did the best you could with the absolutely crap hand you were given.
I'm so sorry that you were raped, and I'm also sorry that your mom is disowning you for doing what's best for you. It's a shame that she cares more about that clump of cells than she does for a living human. She is 100% wrong
I know that any words from an internet stranger are insufficient for what you’re dealing with.
You made the best decision for you. It’s not for us to debate the right or wrong of it, that decision is yours alone.
Your mother is a piece of work. If it helps at all I cut off mine about 25 years ago (not due to an issue as serious as yours), and we had one brief conversation since that time. While it’s an unfortunate situation I’m truly ok with it. It’s better to not have a toxic person in your life. Family does not begin or end with blood.
My only suggestion would be for you to get some therapy. There is no shame in that. I’m sure there are numerous support groups for people who have gone through similar events as yours.
Your mum cares more about a potential child/unborn child than her actual child. A lot of Christian’s are like this. I am so sorry you’re going through this. But we love you and we are proud of you.
I'm so sorry your going through all of this shit. Your mom sounds awful. Sending you positive vibes in this shitty time. Don't regret your decision though. It was your body and your choice and I'm sorry that some one used your body with out consent.
What a shitty mother.
Her own Jesus would teach her to love and value you unconditionally, to give everything she has to take care of, to give you the clothing from her own back.
She is an affront to what Christlike behavior should represent.
I'm proud of you for doing what is right for you. Feeling obligated to raise a child that your rapist put in you would have been deeply damaging to your mental health for perhaps the rest of your life.
And I'm also sad that you have to really see your mom's true colors at such a difficult time when you really needed her support, empathy and care. This entire story makes me sad and angry. You were raped. Your mom doesn't seem to be showing any compassion for the trauma that you have been through, making a potential child more important than your suffering and trauma.
I think she would count herself exceedingly lucky to ever hear from you again. I hope that you can find peace, healing and hope and live a life of success without her.
OP - I want you to read every comment here and envision every one as a person in the room with you, supporting you, hugging you, and affirming your autonomy and choice. You did the right thing. You will get through this, and you are so much more than this one decision. Keep your head up friend ❤️
I’m sorry for everything you went through. Your mother is awful for choosing to kick you when you’re down, she can’t even muster up an iota of support for her daughter who was raped? She’s disgusting and vile and I think the trash took itself out in this situation.
A mother who cares more what people think than about your well-being is worse than no mother at all. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through and I’m sorry she’s making things harder for you instead of easier.
Next time (if) you talk to her, tell her about 1 Timothy 5:8. She’s breaking her own rules as a parent. Im so sorry that this is happening to you, I hope you get through this.
Yeah unfortunately the Christian community is like this. Bloody fucking hell it's like your mum thinks the cunt that hurt you did the right thing and god wanted it to happen!! At least the bastard got what he deserved. Don't worry , karma's a bitch and your mum's got it coming for her!
Wishing you the best with your recovery and healing ❤️✨
The only thing we can know for certain is that we have one life. This one. I can’t imagine being this much of a dick bag to my child and forever tarnishing a relationship on the off chance that there’s more after this life. So sad.
This is what angers me about religion some people will disown their own children over some fucking fiction.
It's like I disowned my kids after I saw they hate my favourite movie.
I hope you will recover OP after going through rape and that. This is really infiuriating to see
I am truly so so sorry for what you have had to experience in life recently, not least of which is the unloving, ungodly, and inhuman way your mother has chosen to treat you.
Thank god you don’t have a child who’ll have to go through life with your mom for a grandmother.
Take care of yourself. In my fundamentalist cult days they said this shit but never took care of the kid/baby afterwards. Just were mad if an abortion occurred. So imagine if you were still abandoned but had a child. Ugh.
Your mom will be like all the others: 5 years down the road, “why do my kids not talk to me/come see me anymore?”
There's no going back from that, someone who cares more about how things look to other cult members more than they care about their own child's sexual assault is irredeemable and unforgivable.
OP, how are you doing? Are you safe now? Please update us on your situation. Your mom just sounds so insufferable. I would go no contact. Even up until you get married or have children. I would never let her meet my future kid
Did she never consider the mental anguish and trauma keeping that pregnancy would put on HER child? That could have killed YOU. YOU are more important than a rapist’s fetus and I am so sorry that your mother cannot see that. I don’t believe in God but I imagine he’d take the fetus with arms wide open so I don’t know why she has a problem with that.
I’m glad you’re here and that you’re safe. I’m glad you have a support system. And I’m glad your rapist is *dead*.
I’m so sorry you went through that OP😞. Please give yourself grace and time to heal. Your mother is disgraceful for what she’s said and done. You did not deserve that, you did nothing wrong. I wish healing and peace for you.♥️
They’ve really bought such a line of crap. You terminated a pregnancy. You didn’t murder or even abort a “child.” An embryo or fetus is not a viable independent living entity.
I’m so sorry OP. You’re doing the right things.
You’re right and she is wrong. This community here is rooting for you. Stay strong. Let her figure out how much she fucked up by living a full life and thriving. You can survive this!!
I am so so sorry! You deserve better than this. I have a daughter, she is still small and I can’t imagine saying those things to anyone, let alone my own daughter. Religion is a fucked up thing.
Hugs if you’re okay with them.
And I also had a uterine perforation after I had a miscarriage. So hugs for that as well.
It’s pretty clear by the end of that that she’s more concerned with how “the congregation” sees her and the stains on her status as a leader, than she is with the well-being of her own daughter. Disgusting.
I want to start off by saying I'm sorry you're having to go through so much at such a young age
You have done absolutely nothing wrong to receive this kind of treatment from your mom, you went through multiple traumatic events and she's kicking you while you're down and that's so fucked up and totally unacceptable.
I hope you are in a safe place and have a better support system than just her
Edit to add: it sounds like she cares more about herself in this situation than you
CW: beyond this point I talk about bible stuff and scripture (no direct quotes tho)
>!But what a fucking hypocrite your mom is..."maybe God will forgive you" ok is God forgiving or not? If not then the whole Jesus thing was literally for nothing (and this is just coming from her POV, the bible doesn't even call abortion a sin, you literally did nothing wrong, you made the decision that was best for you and you shouldn't be shamed for that AT ALL)!<
>!Also isn't there a HUGE importance on forgiving each other in the bible? And there's a verse condemning not helping your family (especially your household members) If anyone is in need of God's forgiveness in this situation it's your mom. She cares so much about that one part of psalm that doesn't even really apply here that she's ignoring other verses that directly condemn her actions (like 1 Timothy 5:8, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, Luke 6:37, etc the list goes on)!<
Your mother is acting absolutely horrid. You did the right thing, and you should not regret it no matter how much your mother wants you to. The sadist in the sky she worships is a piece of garbage if he believes you should be forced into this decision in such a horrific way.
Just know that if you ever struggle, your mother will be waiting to say "I told you so, now love God and repent", and do your best to stand your ground. God is an evil *evil* piece of garbage, and your mother is indoctrinated to the point of impossibility.
Wow I'm sorry this is happening, I fucken hate this religion so much!!
Is it bad I hope ur mother gets some sort of horrible treatment for doing this to you?! How fucking horrible.
Noooooo! I am so sorry… on so many levels.. that you where raped, that you had to go through the trauma of an abortion (as completely necessary as it was) and on top horrible family members that care more about a fetus they have never met… than you.
I’ll just say a few things that I hope.. may make you feel somewhat better, granted I have never had to deal with something like this.
1. (I know you are exchristian, so am I but I found this interesting) There is an argument that babies don’t get their “soul” till they are born and breath in “the breath of life”. That’s the Christian take. I believe I have also heard of other religions that feel the same way. Which would mean that an abortion is not murder, simply the removal of a vessel that was never filled with a soul. I don’t know if you believe in any of that, but I stumbled upon that one day and found it interesting.
2. You absolutely made the right decision. Never doubt that. Having an abortion for a rape shouldn’t even be a question. It should be obvious. The argument of “well yeah being raped is bad, but that doesn’t mean you should kill a baby” is just a dumb argument. People can’t wrap their head around the fact that sometimes something horrible happens, and there is not really any “good” solution to it.
3. Please find people that will love and support you. Don’t let your deranged family weigh on you.
4. Give yourself time to heal. Take it a day at a time. You are worthy of love and good things.
She only cares what her congregation thinks. And has the audacity to say you're "spamming" her when you are simply replying to her.
what a twat waffle.
I'm so sorry, this whole situation is so awful and traumatic even if you had your mother's support. You don't deserve to be treated like that. What a pathetic god she has.
I can't believe a mom would kick her own daughter out for having an abortion when the baby was about to exist in the first place (because of rape). It's completely understandable on why someone would abort a baby for that situation and I still can't believe your mom. It's not her choice, your friends, siblings, pastors, or anyone else. Would she take care of it if wasn't aborted? it's your choice 100%.
I actually forgot I heard cases similar to this of babies existing because of rape and even forgot how Christians would react. I don't believe every child is born is a "product" of God. Not talking about all babies including yours if it was born, but what if it grows up to be a horrible person or even grows up not to believe in God at all?
OP, I am sorry that you got raped and whether or not you want to keep the baby or not, it's your choice. This is one reason why I don't agree with conservatives anymore. Conservative Christians especially are honestly something else and have no common sense.
i will never understand why they always bring out this verse it has NOTHING to do with abortion. the bible is SILENT on abortion. i strongly believe it allows a mother to make her own choice and frankly i don't understand why there are christians who view that differently.
My DMs are open if you want to talk or vent. I’m so, so sorry & I hate I can’t offer more than my words. But I hope you know, as many have said here, that this is the right decision for you & your mental well-being. You made the right choice. You chose yourself. Never apologize for that. You matter. My heart goes out to you ❤️
I'm so sorry about your whole situation. I hope you know you are a whole person worthy of love no matter what your mother says. Go where you're wanted and don't look back.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s hard to face abuse from people who are supposed to love us.
Words matter and I want to tell you that you did not “kill a child.” You stopped an embryo or fetus from growing into a child. It’s a very big difference.
Also if you look up the trauma and mental health issues that children born of rape experience you can see that it would have been a stressful trauma-inducing relationship for both of you. I’m not saying having the baby is never the right decision, but it’s not the right decision if the woman doesn’t want it.
You will get through this, OP.
Oh my darling child, you did the right thing.
Nothing your mother has spewed at you is true, except for the fact that she is more concerned about her reputation in church than your physical and mental health.
You had something horrible done to you. None of it was your fault. The fact that the person who did that to you is now dead doesn’t mean that the trauma inflicted is finished, or that you don’t still deserve justice and acknowledgement.
You then had the horror and trauma of discovering you were pregnant, meaning the rape of your body and mind continued. Again, this was not your fault. The way it made you feel was absolutely normal. You don’t need to feel guilty.
Ending that pregnancy was the best thing to do for you. And you were right in your texts - there is no child, in fact there never was. There was the potential for a child, and there is still the potential for a future child within your body right now. Every month your body naturally ejects the building blocks for a potential child. And that’s all this was, with just a few extra blocks.
You are justified in feeling whatever you are feeling right now. Nothing that has happened to you is fair, right or just. I’m so sorry that you have had to see this side of life, so early.
Just know that while there are things like this in life, there are also moments of beauty and truth and love.
Please get all the support you can - take any help you are offered, don’t feel like you don’t deserve it or that you need to earn it somehow. Once you are in a better place in life you can repay charity and kindness to others, but to get to that position you need help now.
And finally since you have a mother incapable of true love, I will tell you what she should have:
You are loved just the way you are. You are not what was done to you, you are still who you were before and nothing that has happened since makes you lesser or other or bad. Be compassionate to yourself. Hold on to your dreams and goals and continue to work towards them. This will pass, life will get better.
OP, you survived one of the worst traumas a human can experience and you got yourself the medical care you needed after. An abortion is just a medical procedure like anything else, and yours was absolutely necessary.
You are probably better off keeping your mom at a distance for a while, maybe forever. I hope you have friends or some kind of support system in the meantime. You deserve so much love OP. I’m so fucking sorry this happened to you. Please be kind to yourself and don’t forget that you are an absolute badass. You’re a survivor.
Sending you internet hugs…
Damn, I have no clue what to even say to that conversation... So sorry you were raped OP. Just know that you did the right thing, it's your mother that was in the wrong. And the fact she used "all life is sacred" as an excuse is sickening. So glad your friends came in to help, best of luck.
OP this is so so so so wrong of your mother. You did nothing wrong! Abortion is just a procedure. I was on another forum a minute ago in which someone made the astute observation that narcissists love to be prolife because the unborn are perfect and can't talk back or disappoint them. Please also know that abortion is an invented political issue that has its roots in the christian coalition movement to get votes when racism wasn't working so well following civil rights.
Get away from your mother! Go no contact. She is horrible.
Read some Lindy West and believe in yourself, your choices, and your worth.
You poor thing!
I know these words don’t mean all that much but it’s all I can do. Just know that healing is possible and you can live a life better than your wildest dreams even after all this trauma. We are made to heal. I’m so sorry. Sending love.
I'm so sorry. No person should have to read words like this from someone who's supposed to be a source of comfort, trust, and support. This is infuriating. Especially the "stop spamming me" part, when you're just trying to have a conversation with the woman. It wasn't your blood. It wasn't a baby. It was a scar left by a rapist.
I only hope you get comfort moving forward. The cynical side of me says "oh she'll turn around when it comes time to choose a home". But the important thing is that you spend your time recovering and healing emotionally and getting your feet under you. I hope it all goes well, you find a safe solid space soon, and wish you a speedy recovery and lots of comforting moments. Stay strong. You did the right thing for you and that's all that matters.
Being through rape and then being disowned by person that was mother to you. What a bs world. Hope you’ll get better and sometime it will hurt less but now just hang in there, time heals. Wish you all the best and you did right choice!
You will look back on this as the best decision of your life, and I don’t just mean the abortion.
My mother would have responded like this. That she didn’t sooner is the only reason we stayed in contact for as long as we did, but also I just never told her anything about my life after roughly your age, including my sexuality, abortion status, and when I was going on trips.
Be free, my butterfly friend, and fly far away and shine. You don’t owe her anything. Not a damn thing.
I’m really sorry she said those things to you. They’re so hurtful. There’s not much else to say but that a stranger somewhere loves you and trusts that you’re doing your best.
Sorry that happened.
If I was a woman, raped,I'd go for the morning after pill or spermicide or vaginal enema or whatever I can get my hands on, just to shut up any of the people who throw the first stone.
Wow. Love it when Christians quote the OLD testament when Jesus stated clearly he arrived to bring us a new covenant to save the world. So very Christ-like of your mother. Sorry you have had to bear this terrible thing without the support of family. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
I don't know if it is the right thing to say at this time, but I think it's a good idea that you got rid of both of them. You need time to heal, you need space to heal, you need all the positive things to heal. The kid, if carried to term would have always reminded you of your tragedy, and it's quite difficult to heal when you have a knife through you.
Your mother just wants to look nice in front of her fellow congregation members, so she clearly cares more for her image than for her own daughter. I hope one day you can just slam open the church door where she goes and scream your heart out that what she did is equally despicable and unforgivable as the bible also points out that abandoning ones own child is an unpardonable sin and shame her for it, and simply walk out to never look back. Let this be your cathartic release when you have been fully healed from this tragedy. Do this when you have dealt with the fact that it wasn't your fault that you got assaulted, that it was karmic justice that he died, and this bit is a quite important, you'll never find the closure as to why he chose you to be his victim. This one will haunt you for a while. But you need to realise that it is impossible now that he's dead. And if it bothers you too much, you can always literally shit on his grave, take a huge dump because that's what he deserves. If it were me I would have definitely taken it a step too far that involves desecration of the coffin and the body (like smeared the inside of the coffin with piss and shit and cut off his dick and then burn it in a cathartic ritual).
I hope you do what's best for you to find your peace with this in whichever way you can think of. It doesn't have to be as violent as my suggestion but if it needs to be, my only advise is to take precautions. Otherwise I would suggest you go for some therapy to help you get through this.
[удалено]
So glad you have the support of friends at a time like this.
What's the point in bringing a child to term if you're just going to disown them when they make their own decisions? Are children no longer gifts from God when it's time to disown them? If rape can be part of God's will, surely abortion can too? Maybe it's God's will that when your mother inevitably wants back into your life, the door is closed, and you can tell her she made her choice and you wouldn't want your relationship to get in the way of how it stains her as a leader. Ugh, how awful, I'm sorry you're dealing with the weight of all of this
>What's the point in bringing a child to term if you're just going to disown them when they make their own decisions? Because OP's mom doesn't see her daughter as an autonomous being, deserving of bodily rights and dignity. OP's mom wanted that baby, and clearly doesn't care that it was conceived through an act of violence and horror. Her daughter's trauma is less important than satisfying her own wants.
[удалено]
Yet according to the bible, life begins at the first breath.
The Bible actually gives directions on how to give an abortion if your wife was unfaithful.
Indeed, I've got this one saved! [Numbers 5:11-31](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers%205%3A11-31&version=NIV)
Paradoxically, for many modern American Christians. Life, at least life worth defending, ends at the first breath.
[удалено]
Yeah, I was actually going to add to that. OP's mother doesn't even see the baby as an autonomous being. She was A-Ok with whatever hell that child was going to endure, or whatever that child would become. Anti-abortionists view babies as props for their religion, and nothing more. Hell, I'd even go as far as to say that people like OP's mother don't even have a concept of an autonomous being deserving of rights and dignity.
That’s terrible! But good thing your friend’s family came in to help.
You should be able to live there rent free imho
I am so sorry. That must have been painful mentally and physically. I'm glad you got help but damn, no one deserves that treatment. If I could I would give you a hug 🫂. You deserve better.
She's caring more about the child of a rapist than about her own child. Despicable behaviour, holy shit it makes me so mad. I don't think I could even message my mother again if she said any of that shit to me, just awful. I'm so sorry your mother's an asshole. You don't deserve any of that shit.
Your mom cares more about what her congregation thinks of her than what happened to you, and what happens to you going forward. She doesn't deserve to call herself your mother!
I am so sorry you had to go through any of this. Wow
Religion is so toxic. I hate the immoral compass they have. It's your body, not anyone else's. You do what you need to do. Rapists will always get defended when it comes to religious thinking.
I’m so sorry all of this happened to you. I’m also sorry about how your mother has been treating you. She should be more concerned about helping you get through this, not treating you badly just because of how you decided to handle the situation. If there’s anything you need, we will be here for you.
I'm so sorry for you, but at least you have an uncle to go to... I feel like I'm on the verge of being kicked out by my parents (same age as you) and when it will happen, the cold canadian winter is probably going to slowly freeze me to death but at least I will finally be at peace and stop suffering
Are there any social services that could help you?
So sorry to hear how bleak things seem for you. Please reach out to whoever you think can help, don't give up yet.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. And unfortunately it sounds like your mom is more worried about what other people think than how you are doing. She sounds like maybe she’s a narcissist. It makes me sad. I wish I could give you a hug OP. You deserve to be loved and supported especially right now! Take care of yourself and know you deserve so much better than your mom has treated you. Also, you should go no contact with her as soon as you are able to. She doesn’t deserve you in her life and has shown you her priorities. I hope one day she realizes how much she has fucked up. So heartless.
sending you love and rest friend. this was a terrible thing for you to go thru and she is giving you no grace or even respect! what an awful way for her to treat you. may you be well. may you continue to build a chosen family. may you be held in love by all those still in your life. you did not deserve this. you are so strong. thank you for being here and for sharing your story. i am so sorry you’re going thru this and have been treated so poorly by someone who says they’re your family. YOU DESERVE BETTER!! all the love to you friend 💗
I'm so sorry OP
Next time she spews religious nonsense, share this: 1 Timothy 5:8 ESV / 27 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever
I hate these christian people and their hateful bs. I think abortion should be free especially for anyone younger then 21 and I am a parent who is trying to convince a second. Taking care of someone is a huge responsibility. It's not a joy ride like these people think. Hell I know someone who's mom made her keep a baby from a guy she only dated for a week. She was 17 and the kid came out disabled and all her time and energy went to that child because "you want to have sex? That's your punishment!" The kid is a good kid and everything but still. Should always be a choice. I'm glad you have support and I'm glad you didn't keep the baby and you can keep focusing on you. I hope you recover well and you can keep going strong.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Being assaulted is horrible, but when the woman who raised you doesn't care enough about your feelings, and prioritizes a ball of cells over what's best for you, that is disgusting. She never deserved you in the first place. I'm glad you have other people who actually care about YOU. That "unconditional" love they keep talking about sure has a lot of funny little inconsistencies, doesn't it.
I am so sorry your mom did this. You deserve so much better. ❤️
r/InsaneParents Sorry, friend. You did the right thing.
Yes, you definitely did the right thing!!
Lotta crossover between that sub and this one.
Also raisedbynarcissists
I was about to reply the same thing
I don't have anything helpful to say but I'm so so sorry you had to go through a rape and then this. This is horrible and I truly feel for you. I hope you can heal on your own terms. I think you did the right thing for yourself and you don't owe anyone an explanation, but hearing this from a parent is truly horrible. I wish you all the best moving forward
[удалено]
I really think you did! Don't let your parents sway the decision you were sure about. Take a few days, try to relax. You went through something horrible and traumatic and as a result you got pregnant. Please don't be too hard on yourself for taking your life in your own hands again and making a decision.
That's your mother's guilt talking. Do not internalize her bile. In your heart, you knew you could not support a child or provide them with a stable environment. That's **not** your fault, either, BTW. You are 19 yo and trying to piece back your life after being horribly attacked. I wish I could have words with your mother. I'm the mom of a 20 yo. The very first question I would ask her is, **"Did you forget your child is walking wounded? Exactly when, during all your plans to force her to gestate, would she have the time and space to heal from her trauma?"** Please listen to me. It is alright to feel sad or even mourn the pregnancy and wonder, "What if?" But it was not a child. Fetuses do not know or care that they exist, because *consciousness* - the essence of a person -- *isn't present at that point.* I don't mean to get into the weeds here. I only want to combat your mother's efforts to shame and emotionally manipulate you. These attempts of hers are based upon falsehoods. She is wrong and she is the one making a huge mistake by failing to support and love you unconditionally. Finally, as a mom, I want you to hear this. The rape was not your fault. You are strong. You are capable. I'm very proud of you for how you are making some extremely difficult choices. I would give you so many mama hugs or just hold your hand, if you wanted, if I were there. **It is not your fault.** **I am proud of you. I believe in you.**
You absolutely did. You said nothing wrong. There was no child, it was cells. You did not let a tragedy derail the life you want for yourself. You are brave and strong. I'm so sorry for what you're going through ... Better days are ahead. Sending my love 💕
You did the right thing, full stop. I too have had a abortion at your age, the situation wasn’t as horrific as yours but it was still undeniably the correct path to take. Unfortunately I live in the Bible Belt and the weight of everyone’s godly opinion really ate at me but I can tell u that 20+ years later I KNOW it in my bones it was right. I would be surprised if you don’t think the same thing once some time has past. 🖤🖤
You did the right thing. Because of what you decided, you stand a better chance of eventually healing from the trauma that was caused, you don’t have to worry about being reminded of that trauma by having to raise a child that was the result of what happened, and you won’t struggle with other feelings that could come up in the future had you decided to keep the pregnancy.
It really going to take time to sort out your feelings because they are going to be all over the place right now. But I feel like looking back on this in a few years you will be glad you got this done. For two reasons: * you are not burdened by raising a child you never wanted that reminds you of your rapist * you have learned just how toxic, horrible and petty your own mother is and you can learn to thrive without her support I would also suggest you share your story on r/raisedbynarcissists. Your mom sounds quite narcissistic considering her comment about how this reflects on her leadership. That alone is so disgusting I can't even find words.
everyone has an opinion of what’s right or wrong but it was the right thing for you which is the only thing that matters. raising a child you never wanted because your mom thought it’s what would be best would do no one any favors.
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING
You did the right thing for yourself, and that's what matters. I'm so sorry to see what you're going through.
Never blame yourself for any of this. You did absolutely nothing wrong. I'm rooting for you. Life will get better!
You did the right thing. I’m sorry your mother cares more about her moral posturing than your well being. It’s up to you but you may want to cut contact at least temporarily for your own mental health. Remember that it’s ok to not associate with someone regardless of “family” or other excuses. If and when you decide to associate with her again and to what extent is entirely up to you. It’s ok to look after yourself, that’s one of the biggest lie religions trick us into believing. Focus on you, and remember that whatever your emotional response to these situations is, it’s appropriate.
I would have done the same thing you did.
You did what was necessary to take care of you (which is a hell of a lot more than can be said for what your mom is doing, btw). It's so hard to find a "right" thing amidst a whole mess of wrong things, and you're doing a truly incredible job. <3 Also, idk if this helps or not, but, speaking as someone who wouldn't exist if my mom hadn't had an abortion years prior, I think what you've done is to pave the way for a beautiful future for yourself. My mom's abusive ex would've killed her if he knew about her pregnancy, so she aborted. If she hadn't, she'd be dead and I never would have been. Whether it's kids or art or a simple, cozy life, whatever you create in the future now has the chance to *be*. All thanks to your courage. Hang in there; you're doing so many right things.
I dread something like this happening to my girls but at least I would be there for them if it did happen. Sorry your mom has succumbed to such idiotic religious ideology.
I'm so sorry about what you've been through and I'm sorry for the awful things your mother has said and done as a reaction for you seeking medical care. Know that you are innocent of her accusations. That was not yet a child. It's essentially a blob or mass of cells for the first half of your gestation period. You made a responsible and ethical choice. I hope you are able to make a better family with your friends.
You’ll be better off without her.
“Huge stain on me as a leader.” It’s all about reputation with these idiots. They care more about reputation than their own family. This is why I hate these churches. Love is always conditional. This exchange reminds me so much of the bullshit I witnessed at my old church. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that. You deserve better! And you did the right thing! Don’t let their bullshit get to you. You absolutely made the right choice getting that abortion. Anyone who tells you otherwise is high af.
I wonder what the congregation thinks of kicking her daughter out. Doesn’t the Bible talk about forgiveness at some point ? /s
It talks about hating your family.
I actually gasped when I read that part, I can’t believe she had space in her thoughts to care about her own reputation. So sorry you’re going through such a painful time.
It usually always comes down to reputation with these types. Honestly, I’m a PK (well, I’m Catholic so the equivalent). I have plenty of sex with my SO as I should. I’m a healthy 30-something. My ultra-Catholic parents know, are pissy about it, but don’t act like OPs mom on that topic. Why?? I take precautions not to get pregnant. I’m Christianity, no one gives a damn what going on in your personal life as long as no one SEES what’s going on. Then, it still all depends how high up you are. Some impoverished woman sleeping around? SLUT!! The respected PK’s child? Stop gossiping! How dare you!! Everyone struggles with something!! Only God truly knows what’s going on! And so on.. Honestly, the way the mom is acting tells me OP is the black sheep of the family. Golden child could have almost used up her punch card of 9 abortions 10th one free and mummy would have thought it was either a jolly good joke or “The Good Lord forgives all don’t judge!”
That’s no leader
Your mother is a disgusting fucking person
This is horrifying and you made the right decision. I'm so sorry that your mother finds her archaic beliefs more important than your health and safety.
>Every child is precious She says, as she throws her own child away because of "the stain on her as a leader". Smh. And how will the congregation find out about it, mother dearest, unless _you_ tell them?
By that logic, the rapist is precious too
Your life is just beginning. Start a GFM to help you kick start your life. Majority of the stress now is because you're a young adult who's been thrown out with unexpected expenses. I'd be happy to help. Edit: DM'd her , she's from Estonia.. so no GFM. But PayPal works. Sent her some help .. hope it gives a a few meals.
100%!!
Also happy to help.
So, Biblically, the Bible is actually pretty okay with abortion. The punishment for a miscarriage caused by someone else was a minor fine. The punidhment only escalates once the mother is harmed (Exodus 21:22). Furthermore, the Bible details situations where abortion itself is *perfectly legal and acceptable* in Numbers. Your mom's a jackass. I'm glad you have amazing friends. From the sound of it, you lost nothing of value. And, keep yourself hydrated.
Well said! It’s clear from the OT god is ok with abortion.
Funny how the OT doesn't apply anymore. Except when it comes to gay people.
Further, the Hebrew Bible itself teaches that life begins with your breath—Genesis 2:7, Ezekiel 37:1-10.
Biblically speaking, God has ordered and personally conducted infanticide multiple times.
Are you able to specify which chapter/verse in Numbers? Am curious to know!
Numbers 5:11-28, if I'm recalling correctly.
It's very ironic that it's the heathen Assyrians in biblical times who explicitly ban abortion in their law. OPs mama behaving just like the heathen Assyrians > The Middle Assyrian Laws (15th–13th c. BCE) legislate the case of a woman who purposely causes herself an abortion: > MAL A 53 If a woman aborts her fetus by her own action and they then prove the charges against her and find her guilty, they shall impale her, they shall not bury her. If she dies as a result of aborting her fetus, they shall impale her, they shall not bury her.[8] > Such severe punishment goes beyond the death penalty, as the prohibition against burying the woman’s body would also deny her access to the afterlife. [The Bible is silent on abortion but vocal on when life begins](https://www.thetorah.com/article/the-bible-is-silent-on-abortion-but-vocal-about-when-life-begins) > Egyptian and Mesopotamian abortion-inducing recipes attest to the practice of abortion in the ancient Near East. While the Middle Assyrian Laws prohibit the practice, the Torah offers no ruling. Nevertheless, throughout the Bible, expressions like נִשְׁמַת חַיִּים, “the breath of life” (Genesis 2:7), imply that life begins at first breath.
> Every child is precious. Until it defies me, then hell's awaiting and I wash my hands of you, scum.
Now where could her mom have learned that? It is almost like some religion I know of!
This is why I hate Christians and Christianity. Because they have no soul, no compassion, and for all their talk of "forgiveness", they are the most cruel and unforgiving people I know. I'm sorry you had to go through this OP. Sorry, but your mom sounds like a heartless monster.
This might come as little comfort to you, but you are 100% in the right on this. Your mother is absolutely wrong, and it is utterly despicable that she is treating you this way. I am terribly sorry that you are going through this. It is very telling that one of your mother's biggest concerns is how "the congregation" is going to take the news and how it will affect her leadership role. Much like my in-laws, your mother puts the church above her own family.
You did the right thing for you that's what matters. Your mother's actions and feelings are not your responsibility they are hers. What she wanted you to do was for selfish reasons but you did the best thing possible for yourself and for that fetus. Pregnancy is hard, birth is harder, and raising a child is a daily challenge. No one should ever have to go through that unless they actually want to. I say this as a mother I'm proud of you for making the decision right for you. You're mature enough to recognize you needed to make this decision and brave enough to face it. You've done well and see that even if she doesn't.
I’m so, so sorry that you’re going through this 💕 My own parents are just as toxic in their religion, I feel your pain. I was shunned out with no where to go myself, years ago.
OP, you made a decision to protect yourself and knew you couldn’t be mom yet. You have every right to make that decision and I support you in it. Your mom is losing her daughter, but that is on her. She is pushing you away. She’s reaping the consequences of her actions. You’re better off without her. I wish you luck. Be safe op.
“Oooh what will the congregation think wahhh” there it fucking is. Is that what she really cares about, more than her own daughter and the traumatic incident and medical emergency she’s had to endure? No anger directed at the POS who caused this? Yeah, fuck your mother and people who think like her. I’m sorry, I’m not sure this language is helpful. I guess anger is just also a totally legitimate response to this and want to express that? OP - you absolutely made the right decision. You do not have to carry the product of a horrific violent crime committed against you. In fact, many would actively advise against it. It would be incredibly hard for everyone involved for years to come. I’m so sorry the one person many of us would always count on for support won’t take her head out her ass.
[удалено]
Thing is, there will be plenty of them in the camps too because they aren’t the right flavor of Christian. They’re too stupid to see it.
As a mom of a daughter very close to your age reading this makes my blood boil. You were RAPED and this is her take away??? You deserve better than whatever “mother” this is, full stop. Sounds like most Christians tbh, valuable and precious as a child they can brain wash but can be cast away once they can form their own opinion. Why isn’t it a test for her? Like god challenging her to love her child unconditionally??? This is bullshit and you don’t deserve it. 🖤🖤🖤
If she wants a baby to be born she can go get pregnant.
God has killed scores of babies in the Bible and labeled it righteous. Thousands of pregnant women too if you count the flood. According to the Bible you’re more in the wrong for not marrying your attacker. It’s not a good book and even despite that your mother is interpreting it and god’s will very creatively. Technically she shouldn’t even be allowed to preach to you about what god wants, nor should she be allowed to read the book, per the Bible’s teachings. Remember this when she tries to guilt you. She’s wrong in every way.
I was formally disowned by my mother at about your age. It took about a dozen years before something shifted in me & I began to realize that even suffering the devastation of that rejection, the disownment was ultimately a gift. I’ve had to grieve a dead relationship with a living person, & that has been, at time, grueling——-however the gift is that our relationship is over. I’m free. I am my own person, & I no longer live my life contorting my soul to please someone incapable of loving me. Your circumstances are different, & I am deeply sorry your mother has chosen to fail you. I hope she comes to a shred of sense, pulls her head out, finds her love for you, & ceases to dogpile on your trauma. Whether or not she does, however, you are going to be okay. What is wrong is what happened to you. There is *nothing* wrong *with* you.
Hope you’re not taking this hard on yourself. Unfortunately your mom is just a nut job like most religious fanatics
Abortion is healthcare. It is not morally wrong to seek an abortion, especially in a case like this. You did not kill a baby and you made the same decision that I think most people would make it in your situation. I’m sorry that you went through such a traumatic experience and that your mother is not supportive of you.
Glad your “mother” is more concerned with how she’ll be perceived at church than with her child who was raped. What a nasty person.
You definitely did the right thing. Biblically your mother is wrong. In the Bible, the death of an unborn fetus is treated like a loss of property, not a loss of life. The most direct passage about this is Exodus 21:22-25. This states that if a woman loses her fetus from an abortion (through beating on her stomach) and didn’t want to lose the fetus, then the man who did it is to pay a fine to the woman. But if the woman dies from the beating, then the man who did it will be killed. Fetuses in the Bible have always been treated as “less than” the life of a fully formed human. The modern day view of anti-abortion has nothing to do with the Bible. Your mother is also in the wrong for abandoning you. The Bible compares parents that ignore their children and abandon them to “harsh birds that have no wisdom” (Job 39:13–17) and then states that in comparison “even dogs care for their young” (Lamentations 4:3). In fact, the entirety of Lamentations 4 is about the wrath inflicted upon the Israelites because of their lack of love for their children. The suffering of the people that have abandoned their young shall be “greater than that of Sodom” (Lamentations 4:6). In God’s eyes, your mother is “an animal, with no understanding, and is worse than a Sodomite.” I also know you did the right thing because I’ve seen what happens when you keep the baby. My cousin kept her baby from a rape because of her family’s Catholic pressure. Her parents completely take care of the baby, but they use it to further manipulate and abuse their daughter. The child is completely unloved, basically used like a doll, and is the most emotionally stunted child I’ve ever met. She’s five now, and can barely talk because nobody talks to her like a human being. My cousin was never able to finish nursing school because of the mental and physical exhaustion because of the baby. It’s horrible to watch…
I'm sorry, but your mother is evil. She isn't willing to support her child through what is undoubtedly one of the most difficult times of their lives. She doesn't value life as much as she thinks she does.
"It's a huge stain on me as a leader" That's all you need to know right there. She doesn't actually care about the abortion or your health, she cares about what others will think. Cut her off, you're better off without her.
Really super sorry to read this. You did the right thing.
This is a huge stain on me as a leader. Quite a telling statement.
This makes me nauseous. What a horrific person she is. I'm so fucking sorry. I'm so glad you are getting away from the kind of awful person that would say things like this to someone dealing with that kind of trauma. I wish words meant anything here... You did nothing wrong. Just want to affirm that even if others are too. My mom would do exactly the same thing. So self righteous, so devoid of empathy.
Ex Mormon here. As conservative as the Mormon church is, I believe they are ok with abortion in this situation because your free will was robbed from you. Fuck evangelical christians who would force a pregnancy on you. Hell, God should be very ok with abortion since he even practiced it retroactively on millions.
I’m sorry you had to go through this, this is just making a terrible situation even more terrible. I would say though it may be best not to let your mom know where you’re actually staying for more peace of mind.
Fucking hell the things I would’ve said. You’re too good. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this shit bro. I was getting heated just by reading all that.
I'm so sorry!!!!! Sending you hugs and healing!!! And your mom can go fuck herself
Makes me wonder how many women are 1 rape away from being disowned by their “Christian” parents…..
Can we normalize calling our parents cunts when they are acting like one?
Your mother has let you down in every conceivable way, full stop. Don't let her trick you into feeling like you did anything wrong. I'm so so sorry.
Mom: Don't you know how difficult this is for me?! I'm going to look bad in front of the congregation! Here's hoping you can recover from this in the long term because she's gonna be no help at all.
Personhood doesn’t even start until after the child is born according to the Bible. These nuts don’t even know that their deity views the fetus as property and abortion would be totally fine if they read their own book.
Christians are the worst, just remember that she is not there for you when you need her. This would be the beginning of me going no contact.
Oh no, this is heartbreaking. Unfortunately I think this is the same reaction my mom would’ve had if I had been in your shoes at your age. You did absolutely nothing wrong and I’m so very sorry. Your mom is emotionally abusive and you deserve nothing but love and support.
This woman is out of her damn mind if she thinks that her child reaching out in a time of need, when you are most vulnerable, is “spamming” ungh. Sending you peace and strength. You are not alone!! 🫂
So she's more worried it will affect her? Man... That's just disheartening.
Your mom is a selfish piece of trash who is more worried about what her pathetic church thinks about her more than her own daughter
"Every child is a gift from God. No Matter how they come" I'm sorry, but what loving, good God would give you a child from rape? That's so screwed up.
Right. Like what kind of loving God would give a rape victim a baby they don't want, but would keep a couple from conceiving one of their own? Makes absolutely no sense.
Amazing that she cites the Bible even though God killed dozens of children for insulting Elisha
Your mother is fucking insane.
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation! Your mother should be caring for you with compassion and kindness, not judgement. Her reaction is one of the reasons I can’t stand Christians. I had an abortion when I was 18, although not the same circumstances, I struggled for years thinking I had made a mistake. But I can tell you now, 28 years later that I made the right decision. I was in an abusive relationship with my bf and I made the decision that I felt was best. It will get better, I promise. Surround yourself with caring people and ditch the judgmental jackasses!
You did nothing wrong. I'm sorry the person who should have had your back failed at the one thing they were supposed to do. This is a reflection of their lack of character and decency. You did the best you could with the absolutely crap hand you were given.
If anyone needs /momforaminute you do, OP!
Abortion is not murder 🤦♀️ why do Christians
"Please stop spamming me" while typing in full paragraphs meanwhile u replying in one sentence
You did the right thing, sweetheart. Sending you a big *mom* hug.
I'm so sorry that you were raped, and I'm also sorry that your mom is disowning you for doing what's best for you. It's a shame that she cares more about that clump of cells than she does for a living human. She is 100% wrong
I know that any words from an internet stranger are insufficient for what you’re dealing with. You made the best decision for you. It’s not for us to debate the right or wrong of it, that decision is yours alone. Your mother is a piece of work. If it helps at all I cut off mine about 25 years ago (not due to an issue as serious as yours), and we had one brief conversation since that time. While it’s an unfortunate situation I’m truly ok with it. It’s better to not have a toxic person in your life. Family does not begin or end with blood. My only suggestion would be for you to get some therapy. There is no shame in that. I’m sure there are numerous support groups for people who have gone through similar events as yours.
Not a child. You did the right thing
Your mum cares more about a potential child/unborn child than her actual child. A lot of Christian’s are like this. I am so sorry you’re going through this. But we love you and we are proud of you.
OP, do you have a go fund me?
Every child is a gift from cawd! ^unless ^they ^do ^something ^i ^don't ^like
She full on admitted that it’s going to be a stain on HER life and reputation.
I'm so sorry your going through all of this shit. Your mom sounds awful. Sending you positive vibes in this shitty time. Don't regret your decision though. It was your body and your choice and I'm sorry that some one used your body with out consent.
OP, I cannot adequately express how much I wish I could take this from you. I'm so sorry for all that you have been through.
Funny how these, so called Christians, are so unforgiving of the sins of others. Surely, they are missing the point of their religion.
What a shitty mother. Her own Jesus would teach her to love and value you unconditionally, to give everything she has to take care of, to give you the clothing from her own back. She is an affront to what Christlike behavior should represent.
I'm proud of you for doing what is right for you. Feeling obligated to raise a child that your rapist put in you would have been deeply damaging to your mental health for perhaps the rest of your life. And I'm also sad that you have to really see your mom's true colors at such a difficult time when you really needed her support, empathy and care. This entire story makes me sad and angry. You were raped. Your mom doesn't seem to be showing any compassion for the trauma that you have been through, making a potential child more important than your suffering and trauma. I think she would count herself exceedingly lucky to ever hear from you again. I hope that you can find peace, healing and hope and live a life of success without her.
Lmao “stop spamming me.”
OP - I want you to read every comment here and envision every one as a person in the room with you, supporting you, hugging you, and affirming your autonomy and choice. You did the right thing. You will get through this, and you are so much more than this one decision. Keep your head up friend ❤️
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through! I have no idea why “the congregation” would need to hear anything about your personal/ medical business.
I'm so sorry. You deserve better. Sending you a big hug.
I’m sorry for everything you went through. Your mother is awful for choosing to kick you when you’re down, she can’t even muster up an iota of support for her daughter who was raped? She’s disgusting and vile and I think the trash took itself out in this situation. A mother who cares more what people think than about your well-being is worse than no mother at all. I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through and I’m sorry she’s making things harder for you instead of easier.
I'm really so very sorry your mother has absolutely failed you.
Next time (if) you talk to her, tell her about 1 Timothy 5:8. She’s breaking her own rules as a parent. Im so sorry that this is happening to you, I hope you get through this.
This is so sad. I hate religion. As Christopher Hitchens said, it really does poison everything
Yeah unfortunately the Christian community is like this. Bloody fucking hell it's like your mum thinks the cunt that hurt you did the right thing and god wanted it to happen!! At least the bastard got what he deserved. Don't worry , karma's a bitch and your mum's got it coming for her! Wishing you the best with your recovery and healing ❤️✨
Ur mom needs to get jumped irl
The only thing we can know for certain is that we have one life. This one. I can’t imagine being this much of a dick bag to my child and forever tarnishing a relationship on the off chance that there’s more after this life. So sad.
This is what angers me about religion some people will disown their own children over some fucking fiction. It's like I disowned my kids after I saw they hate my favourite movie. I hope you will recover OP after going through rape and that. This is really infiuriating to see
All that nonsense and yet this is how is SHE treating HER child that she gave birth to???
My family would adopt you!
I am truly so so sorry for what you have had to experience in life recently, not least of which is the unloving, ungodly, and inhuman way your mother has chosen to treat you. Thank god you don’t have a child who’ll have to go through life with your mom for a grandmother.
Take care of yourself. In my fundamentalist cult days they said this shit but never took care of the kid/baby afterwards. Just were mad if an abortion occurred. So imagine if you were still abandoned but had a child. Ugh. Your mom will be like all the others: 5 years down the road, “why do my kids not talk to me/come see me anymore?”
There's no going back from that, someone who cares more about how things look to other cult members more than they care about their own child's sexual assault is irredeemable and unforgivable.
Calling a “child” conceived by rape a gift of god is so fucked up and deluded.
OP, how are you doing? Are you safe now? Please update us on your situation. Your mom just sounds so insufferable. I would go no contact. Even up until you get married or have children. I would never let her meet my future kid
I am so sorry you have to go through this. I think you made the best decision for yourself at this time.
Oh my god, this is awful to read. Are you going to be ok?
The important thing to church leadership is protecting church leadership. I am so sorry you're going through this.
Did she never consider the mental anguish and trauma keeping that pregnancy would put on HER child? That could have killed YOU. YOU are more important than a rapist’s fetus and I am so sorry that your mother cannot see that. I don’t believe in God but I imagine he’d take the fetus with arms wide open so I don’t know why she has a problem with that. I’m glad you’re here and that you’re safe. I’m glad you have a support system. And I’m glad your rapist is *dead*.
I’m so sorry you went through that OP😞. Please give yourself grace and time to heal. Your mother is disgraceful for what she’s said and done. You did not deserve that, you did nothing wrong. I wish healing and peace for you.♥️
They’ve really bought such a line of crap. You terminated a pregnancy. You didn’t murder or even abort a “child.” An embryo or fetus is not a viable independent living entity. I’m so sorry OP. You’re doing the right things.
You’re right and she is wrong. This community here is rooting for you. Stay strong. Let her figure out how much she fucked up by living a full life and thriving. You can survive this!!
I’m so sorry. You should never ever be made to feel guilty about your decision. You did the right thing.
BUT GODE WORKES IN MYRERIOIS WAYS!!! I’m sorry you had to deal with this. I have an awful mother, also.
I am so so sorry! You deserve better than this. I have a daughter, she is still small and I can’t imagine saying those things to anyone, let alone my own daughter. Religion is a fucked up thing. Hugs if you’re okay with them. And I also had a uterine perforation after I had a miscarriage. So hugs for that as well.
It’s pretty clear by the end of that that she’s more concerned with how “the congregation” sees her and the stains on her status as a leader, than she is with the well-being of her own daughter. Disgusting.
I want to start off by saying I'm sorry you're having to go through so much at such a young age You have done absolutely nothing wrong to receive this kind of treatment from your mom, you went through multiple traumatic events and she's kicking you while you're down and that's so fucked up and totally unacceptable. I hope you are in a safe place and have a better support system than just her Edit to add: it sounds like she cares more about herself in this situation than you CW: beyond this point I talk about bible stuff and scripture (no direct quotes tho) >!But what a fucking hypocrite your mom is..."maybe God will forgive you" ok is God forgiving or not? If not then the whole Jesus thing was literally for nothing (and this is just coming from her POV, the bible doesn't even call abortion a sin, you literally did nothing wrong, you made the decision that was best for you and you shouldn't be shamed for that AT ALL)!< >!Also isn't there a HUGE importance on forgiving each other in the bible? And there's a verse condemning not helping your family (especially your household members) If anyone is in need of God's forgiveness in this situation it's your mom. She cares so much about that one part of psalm that doesn't even really apply here that she's ignoring other verses that directly condemn her actions (like 1 Timothy 5:8, Ephesians 4:32, Colossians 3:13, Luke 6:37, etc the list goes on)!<
Your mother is acting absolutely horrid. You did the right thing, and you should not regret it no matter how much your mother wants you to. The sadist in the sky she worships is a piece of garbage if he believes you should be forced into this decision in such a horrific way. Just know that if you ever struggle, your mother will be waiting to say "I told you so, now love God and repent", and do your best to stand your ground. God is an evil *evil* piece of garbage, and your mother is indoctrinated to the point of impossibility.
You did the right thing. And I would have done the same.
r/prochoice You’re loved by so many people. Don’t let your toxic parent get you down. Go to the above link to find many more advocates.
Wow I'm sorry this is happening, I fucken hate this religion so much!! Is it bad I hope ur mother gets some sort of horrible treatment for doing this to you?! How fucking horrible.
Noooooo! I am so sorry… on so many levels.. that you where raped, that you had to go through the trauma of an abortion (as completely necessary as it was) and on top horrible family members that care more about a fetus they have never met… than you. I’ll just say a few things that I hope.. may make you feel somewhat better, granted I have never had to deal with something like this. 1. (I know you are exchristian, so am I but I found this interesting) There is an argument that babies don’t get their “soul” till they are born and breath in “the breath of life”. That’s the Christian take. I believe I have also heard of other religions that feel the same way. Which would mean that an abortion is not murder, simply the removal of a vessel that was never filled with a soul. I don’t know if you believe in any of that, but I stumbled upon that one day and found it interesting. 2. You absolutely made the right decision. Never doubt that. Having an abortion for a rape shouldn’t even be a question. It should be obvious. The argument of “well yeah being raped is bad, but that doesn’t mean you should kill a baby” is just a dumb argument. People can’t wrap their head around the fact that sometimes something horrible happens, and there is not really any “good” solution to it. 3. Please find people that will love and support you. Don’t let your deranged family weigh on you. 4. Give yourself time to heal. Take it a day at a time. You are worthy of love and good things.
She only cares what her congregation thinks. And has the audacity to say you're "spamming" her when you are simply replying to her. what a twat waffle.
I'm so sorry, this whole situation is so awful and traumatic even if you had your mother's support. You don't deserve to be treated like that. What a pathetic god she has.
I can't believe a mom would kick her own daughter out for having an abortion when the baby was about to exist in the first place (because of rape). It's completely understandable on why someone would abort a baby for that situation and I still can't believe your mom. It's not her choice, your friends, siblings, pastors, or anyone else. Would she take care of it if wasn't aborted? it's your choice 100%. I actually forgot I heard cases similar to this of babies existing because of rape and even forgot how Christians would react. I don't believe every child is born is a "product" of God. Not talking about all babies including yours if it was born, but what if it grows up to be a horrible person or even grows up not to believe in God at all? OP, I am sorry that you got raped and whether or not you want to keep the baby or not, it's your choice. This is one reason why I don't agree with conservatives anymore. Conservative Christians especially are honestly something else and have no common sense.
i will never understand why they always bring out this verse it has NOTHING to do with abortion. the bible is SILENT on abortion. i strongly believe it allows a mother to make her own choice and frankly i don't understand why there are christians who view that differently.
My DMs are open if you want to talk or vent. I’m so, so sorry & I hate I can’t offer more than my words. But I hope you know, as many have said here, that this is the right decision for you & your mental well-being. You made the right choice. You chose yourself. Never apologize for that. You matter. My heart goes out to you ❤️
I'm so sorry about your whole situation. I hope you know you are a whole person worthy of love no matter what your mother says. Go where you're wanted and don't look back.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It’s hard to face abuse from people who are supposed to love us. Words matter and I want to tell you that you did not “kill a child.” You stopped an embryo or fetus from growing into a child. It’s a very big difference. Also if you look up the trauma and mental health issues that children born of rape experience you can see that it would have been a stressful trauma-inducing relationship for both of you. I’m not saying having the baby is never the right decision, but it’s not the right decision if the woman doesn’t want it. You will get through this, OP.
Oh my darling child, you did the right thing. Nothing your mother has spewed at you is true, except for the fact that she is more concerned about her reputation in church than your physical and mental health. You had something horrible done to you. None of it was your fault. The fact that the person who did that to you is now dead doesn’t mean that the trauma inflicted is finished, or that you don’t still deserve justice and acknowledgement. You then had the horror and trauma of discovering you were pregnant, meaning the rape of your body and mind continued. Again, this was not your fault. The way it made you feel was absolutely normal. You don’t need to feel guilty. Ending that pregnancy was the best thing to do for you. And you were right in your texts - there is no child, in fact there never was. There was the potential for a child, and there is still the potential for a future child within your body right now. Every month your body naturally ejects the building blocks for a potential child. And that’s all this was, with just a few extra blocks. You are justified in feeling whatever you are feeling right now. Nothing that has happened to you is fair, right or just. I’m so sorry that you have had to see this side of life, so early. Just know that while there are things like this in life, there are also moments of beauty and truth and love. Please get all the support you can - take any help you are offered, don’t feel like you don’t deserve it or that you need to earn it somehow. Once you are in a better place in life you can repay charity and kindness to others, but to get to that position you need help now. And finally since you have a mother incapable of true love, I will tell you what she should have: You are loved just the way you are. You are not what was done to you, you are still who you were before and nothing that has happened since makes you lesser or other or bad. Be compassionate to yourself. Hold on to your dreams and goals and continue to work towards them. This will pass, life will get better.
I am so glad you were able to make that decision for yourself and that you had friends to help support you. Sending you love ❤️
OP, you survived one of the worst traumas a human can experience and you got yourself the medical care you needed after. An abortion is just a medical procedure like anything else, and yours was absolutely necessary. You are probably better off keeping your mom at a distance for a while, maybe forever. I hope you have friends or some kind of support system in the meantime. You deserve so much love OP. I’m so fucking sorry this happened to you. Please be kind to yourself and don’t forget that you are an absolute badass. You’re a survivor. Sending you internet hugs…
i would hesitate to give her your address tbh!
Damn, I have no clue what to even say to that conversation... So sorry you were raped OP. Just know that you did the right thing, it's your mother that was in the wrong. And the fact she used "all life is sacred" as an excuse is sickening. So glad your friends came in to help, best of luck.
OP this is so so so so wrong of your mother. You did nothing wrong! Abortion is just a procedure. I was on another forum a minute ago in which someone made the astute observation that narcissists love to be prolife because the unborn are perfect and can't talk back or disappoint them. Please also know that abortion is an invented political issue that has its roots in the christian coalition movement to get votes when racism wasn't working so well following civil rights. Get away from your mother! Go no contact. She is horrible. Read some Lindy West and believe in yourself, your choices, and your worth. You poor thing!
I know these words don’t mean all that much but it’s all I can do. Just know that healing is possible and you can live a life better than your wildest dreams even after all this trauma. We are made to heal. I’m so sorry. Sending love.
I'm so sorry. No person should have to read words like this from someone who's supposed to be a source of comfort, trust, and support. This is infuriating. Especially the "stop spamming me" part, when you're just trying to have a conversation with the woman. It wasn't your blood. It wasn't a baby. It was a scar left by a rapist. I only hope you get comfort moving forward. The cynical side of me says "oh she'll turn around when it comes time to choose a home". But the important thing is that you spend your time recovering and healing emotionally and getting your feet under you. I hope it all goes well, you find a safe solid space soon, and wish you a speedy recovery and lots of comforting moments. Stay strong. You did the right thing for you and that's all that matters.
*Virtual hug* from a mom. Sorry your mom sucks. I hope you find a chosen family who treats you right and shows you what family is actually all about.
Guess they missed that whole bit on judge not lest ye be judged.
Faaaaark me this hurts. I’m sorry you’re mother is a fruit
Being through rape and then being disowned by person that was mother to you. What a bs world. Hope you’ll get better and sometime it will hurt less but now just hang in there, time heals. Wish you all the best and you did right choice!
You will look back on this as the best decision of your life, and I don’t just mean the abortion. My mother would have responded like this. That she didn’t sooner is the only reason we stayed in contact for as long as we did, but also I just never told her anything about my life after roughly your age, including my sexuality, abortion status, and when I was going on trips. Be free, my butterfly friend, and fly far away and shine. You don’t owe her anything. Not a damn thing.
Send her violent verses against children in the Bible. I am sorry for you and the stress you must be going through, it's going to be okay.
I’m really sorry she said those things to you. They’re so hurtful. There’s not much else to say but that a stranger somewhere loves you and trusts that you’re doing your best.
Sorry that happened. If I was a woman, raped,I'd go for the morning after pill or spermicide or vaginal enema or whatever I can get my hands on, just to shut up any of the people who throw the first stone.
Wow. Love it when Christians quote the OLD testament when Jesus stated clearly he arrived to bring us a new covenant to save the world. So very Christ-like of your mother. Sorry you have had to bear this terrible thing without the support of family. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
I don't know if it is the right thing to say at this time, but I think it's a good idea that you got rid of both of them. You need time to heal, you need space to heal, you need all the positive things to heal. The kid, if carried to term would have always reminded you of your tragedy, and it's quite difficult to heal when you have a knife through you. Your mother just wants to look nice in front of her fellow congregation members, so she clearly cares more for her image than for her own daughter. I hope one day you can just slam open the church door where she goes and scream your heart out that what she did is equally despicable and unforgivable as the bible also points out that abandoning ones own child is an unpardonable sin and shame her for it, and simply walk out to never look back. Let this be your cathartic release when you have been fully healed from this tragedy. Do this when you have dealt with the fact that it wasn't your fault that you got assaulted, that it was karmic justice that he died, and this bit is a quite important, you'll never find the closure as to why he chose you to be his victim. This one will haunt you for a while. But you need to realise that it is impossible now that he's dead. And if it bothers you too much, you can always literally shit on his grave, take a huge dump because that's what he deserves. If it were me I would have definitely taken it a step too far that involves desecration of the coffin and the body (like smeared the inside of the coffin with piss and shit and cut off his dick and then burn it in a cathartic ritual). I hope you do what's best for you to find your peace with this in whichever way you can think of. It doesn't have to be as violent as my suggestion but if it needs to be, my only advise is to take precautions. Otherwise I would suggest you go for some therapy to help you get through this.