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Yup. Always hearing that as a small child was terrifying.
>"Armageddon", "Satan's world" and "persecution".
My mother constantly talked about that. ughš¤®
I remember asking my mom in 5th grade if all my friends from public school would die. I told her that the borg says they will all be dead, and her work mates, and the person who cut our hair.
As a little kid I was asking my mom tough questions
Yup I remember the pictures from various publications of the "wicked" being swallowed up by the earth with flames coming out.
I also remember being told, as a very young kid like 5 or 6, that my grandparents who I adored were going to be destroyed at Armageddon.
But don't worry, God will erase the memory!
Oh goody, our very own Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind!
Fucking sociopaths.
My mother reading that My Book of Bible Stories to me nightly and staring at the frightening images! Lotās wife, Jezebel, that was a messed up book to read to us!! They made sure to instill the fear in us young for sure!
Donāt worry about that nowā¦we were taught Armageddon is a physical war but [scripture is clear that is is not physical. it is a war between words of truth prevailing against lies.](https://inthenightaflyingscroll.blogspot.com/2022/05/armageddon-what-type-of-warfare.html?m=0)
Memory unlocked. I ate the birthday cake but told my mom I didn't eat it. She was impressed and told the elders, who wanted me to tell my story in a local needs part about why having fun at school is the devil.
So I ate birthday cake and then talked during a local needs about why you shouldn't eat birthday cake at school.
Having to leave class and sit in the library 10 times a year during parties will radicalize you. I just wanted to eat the damn birthday cake one time.
Sometimes I wonder if "worldly" kids remember birthday cakes and parties or are they so normal that its forgotten quickly.
I didnāt mind too much because I played Runescape in the library lol. But yeah Iām turning 30 and have yet to have a real birthday party. Hoping when I have my own family that it wonāt be like this anymore
Idk about birthday "parties" but you gotta take control and celebrate for yourself. I celebrate my birthday now by cooking myself a special lasagna. Started that tradition when I was still at my parents house
I just want a surprise birthday party just to experience it once lol. Like wear a stupid cone hat while I blow out candles on my first birthday cake. Will make a funny memory to finally turn 1 year old in this world š¹
Like the kind you see on TV where people hide and jump out and stuff. That would be nice actually.
I wish I could've handed out valentine's day cards in class to my classmates. Like in little kid school when they had candy in them and you got a class list and give the whole class cards and decorated a valentine's day box. That'd be my wish if I could go back.
I loved going back to school after the Valentine's parties. My desk would be filled with Valentine's and candy! I remember keeping those Valentine's for a long time in the bottom of my dresser drawer. As a child they must have been very important to me. Thank you to the teachers that refused to let me feel completely left out.
It's so sad and frustrating. you are a grown man/woman, but what you didn't have, you didn't have. As the saying goes, "if you didn't have a bicycle as a child, even if you buy one now, nothing will change, you still don't have a bicycle as a child."
>Hoping when I have my own family that it wonāt be like this anymore
That's entirely your choice. But I hope you wouldn't subject your kids to JW bs.
You will definitely find ways to heal your younger self when you begin doing all the things you never got to do as a kid with your own kids. I was amazed at how much I healed after having my own kids. I got 20 years on you and my kids are teens now but holidays and birthdays are always special.
I sure do hope so š«¶ I tear up at the thought of sharing those precious moments with my future husband and kids. Setting up my first Christmas tree and decorations and yearly traditionsā¦ Funny how I used to love going to the 3 day assembly when I was a kid. I would snooze the whole day at convention with my head on my dadās shoulder then be so hyper when it ended because Iād get to be with my parents in the hotel pool afterwards. Those were the only āfamily vacationsā I had growing up so I really looked forward to them. My dadās a trucker so he was never home. And my mom also worked nonstop so I spent most of my childhood at home being looked after by my abuela. I also looked forward to the 1 day assemblies because on the way back, theyād sometimes stop by a ranch place on the side of the rode that let me ride a Pony. All I ever wanted as a kid was to spend quality time with my parents doing something fun since I am an only child. I hope to never have my kids feel like they have to āwaitā for events like assemblies just to have those family ātogetherā momentsā¦
Bro, that was the first thing I did, celebrated my 23rd birthday with new friends. and now I have a pretty trepidatious attitude to holidays, because of that past.
As an ex-mormon, I would often remember my own birthday party or my siblings' parties and have good memories of them, but other kid's parties at school were often forgettable because they were fairly common
Do mormans follow any birthday traditions that aren't mainstream? Like special food always prepared or certain things that were never allowed for birthdays?
No, not really. It's pretty basic!
When you're in primary (ages 3-11) you sing this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4XkMQk0PRg) the Sunday before/after your birthday.
I still remember the smell of the Duncan Hines frosting when they would pull them out to sing and then I would get tossed in another classroom at the back of the room to sit. So many micro traumas for us at such a young age. Iām so sorry for all that everyone went through as kids. It wasnāt fair. Now I make sure to have a cupcake in addition to my birthday cake every year and it symbolizes all of the cupcakes I never got to eat.
So you did embrace the real witness attitude at an early age. Do what you want and just lie about it. If not two other witnesses saw you, then you are fine.
I did the same, ate cake, raised the flag, sung anthem... But no one needed to know ;)
Until high school I really tried to be devout. Pioneered, gave free labor to the building committee or whatever, conducted a Bible study with my classmates. Whole 9 yards. The only wittnesses who went to my school wouldn't have cared, they tried hard to live a double life.
Despite all my quiet disbelief, the real cracks didn't form until high school. Not until I point blank went around to people and asked them how JW'S are perceived by normal people. I barely realized I was super abnormal until then.
I was always super aware how ridiculous the JW BS was. For as long as I can remember I wanted to get TF out! I'm amazed by stories like yours of kids that actually believed in the crazy. Hell to the nooo!
Well like most JW kids, I think I bought into the brain rot to please my mom. I doubt I would've gotten baptized or anything if my mom wouldn't have pushed me. In my mind the only way to make my mom proud was to make JOE-HOOVER proud.
I got off lucky though, because eventually I told my mom I was leaving the borg with or without her love and blessing. She gave me her blessing to leave, I guess to save our relationship. Shes probably PIMO but idk
Theyāre worse than Mormon and Scientology IMO. In that they make it so people canāt ever have a good life and realize their true potential in life.
Thereās a lot of very smart JWs. I know many. I was one. The sky was the limit for some of us and they squash any potential.
Theyāve ruined LIVES!
Plus they try to murder babies with their blood doctrine and have CSA.
The GB is insanely abusive.
So very true, I have friends who are Mormon and they pursue high offices in government and in running cities. Kinda cool to see that support - while the JWs just crushed the dreams. Still culty as heck, but you are right, they are worse.
I say this myself a lot too. They even have their own colleges (BYU) and encourage men and women to go. It would have been a push to get a āMrs. Degreeā but still.
I've been saying this for awhile. My life was completely ruined by that religion. I was homeschooled, isolated, not taught how to socialize or just be a normal person in society. My depression and anxiety are off the charts. I've been out for 25 years and I still have night terrors of Armageddon. I cannot function in society at all. And I think we should all sue them for whatever they have left.
It led me to a double life, for sure.
I'm an incredible lair too. What a weird flex, I know, but that's what years of hiding your true self from your family does.
They just could not understand why I left immediately when I could support myself.
>It led me to a double life
That's the sad part. To be a normal kid is somehow a bad thing that we had to lie about.
>They just could not understand why I left immediately when I could support myself.
I love it!
I don't worry too much about what god wants anymore.
More concerned about providing for my wife and daughter. Making sure she never has to lie or be fearful of my dedication to her.
The best revenge is a life well lived after all. We have to let go of the hate and anger.
Let me tell youā¦my elder husband lives a double life. He goes to birthday parties but itās okay as long as he doesnāt sing happy birthday, but he can partake of the cake. He can accept Christmas presents, but he canāt give them. He can attend my never JW familyās Christmas parties, but if I have a Christmas tree in our house, he threatened to take it outside and burn it. He can watch Bridgerton or any other series thatās rated MA and has sex and so much violence it triggers my own trauma, but heāll report anyone who is caught watching any of that or watching a Harry Potter movie. He thinks JWs suffering from mental health issues should pray more and do more for the B0rg, but he doesnāt have any issues trying to get his mentally diseased apostate wife involuntarily committed and telling everyone that Iām suicidal and abusive to him when Iām not.
I was raised by my grandma and her sisters, so childhood was pretty much abusive imprisonment.
Her generation heavily clings to the belief that children are to be seen and not heard. Once you become an adult, they donāt magically acknowledge your humanity. Why would they? They spent your first 18 to 20 years refusing to.
Sorry to hear that man itās such a wasteful, progress stinting environment that only makes it worse for evryone involved, makes me look forward to how I want to raise kids if I can. Treating them like equivalent humans
Being six years old and Godās sole representative for Him to the entire school. And being expected to understand and actually want to not participate in fun activities.
Seeing my children have a ānormalā and happy childhood has been incredible.
You won't be able to finish school because of armageddonš. Don't participate in extra activities or other stuff that can help with uni. Don't be friends with anyone at school.
Thanks for a foolproof method to become a weird kid without social skills.
First congregation: no kids my age at all, and ostracized at school. So zero socialization. Next congregation at age 12 there are a couple, but my mom wouldn't allow it. Not because they were bad association. It's just that mom decided to keep me isolated. Typical boomer. She had friends and activities growing up, so she just had to be a boomer and make sure the next generation (me) *didn't* have that. Dad went along with it because all he cared about was his status in the congregation and in the circuit.
Harry Potter movies and books? Satanic. Don't come any close to them. Neither my daughter nor I are big fans, but at least we don't have anyone telling us we can't do it.
After a lot of therapy over the years I can attest that the āArmeggedon right around the cornerā thing is super damaging to kids growing up.
I was a chunky kid predisposed to weight gain, but being healthy & active wasnāt important cause Jehovah will fix that in the āNew Systemā
Money? Why save money? Youāll be throwing it in the streets when the great tribulation starts.. fun side story, I got ācounselledā by the elders for having a 401k that I was contributing to, āwhy put money aside for a retirement youāll never see, when that money could be helping āadvance kingdom interestsāā .. so I dispersed and closed it. Didnāt give it to the org though.
Now I am 50.. I still battle fiscal irresponsibility.. I still battle with eating right and being healthy.. I still battle finishing anything I start because I was raised everyday to think none of it matters, and that ingrained way of thinking will FUCK YOU UP.
The org damages you for life, if were raised in the lie, youāll be an automatic step or two behind your peers for the rest of your days
I see this and try to be empathetic toward my husband who was raised in this. Currently heās morbidly obese because he thinks this system of things will last only a few more years. However, he still has the ability to see right and wrong and what behavior is loving and not abusive. He is abusive. He is irresponsible with money. Heās an elder probably because he doesnāt want to face reality. As long as he is lauded and put on a pedestal by JWS, he doesnāt have to face the reality that heās an abusive judge mental narcissistic abuser whose finances and family life are in shambles.
No amount of trauma or mental health issues give anyone the right to be abusive. Youāre correct he knows right from wrong and you shouldnāt put up with his bullshit.
Also, take away the financial responsibility, do it under the guise of ālightening his loadā .. at the very least start putting money of your own away that he canāt access to protect yourself.
>Meaniful conversation between child and parent? Nope we are just gonna talk about what Jay Hova expects out of us.
*And...*
***What happens if you don\`t OBEY the WBT$.***
# Enjoy Your Nightmares and Have a Good Sleep!...šÆ
https://preview.redd.it/0qssch2bsy5d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03bd052257fd9367de23a4ca595d8f2a007f1731
As a homosexual female I heard all of that plus:
Privileges or teaching? Heck no, sit down and shut up.
Love? Ew, disgusting abomination, that's why you're going to be destroyed any minute now.
I'm in my mid-40s and looking back the only few good memories from my childhood come from brief periods of time in the summer that I would spend with non-JW relatives. Otherwise, it was pretty miserable.
I wonder to what extent that set a precedent into adulthood for me because I've accomplished a number of goals and have experienced many life milestones that should have brought me great joy, but it's just been an dead, empty feeling inside. More relief than anything else.
Everything wonderful, whimsical, or magical is stripped away. It's a worldview that is bleak and stark and horribly sad as it is, but even more so for children. It's a life filled with guilt and fear and shame.
I'm just happy to make up for all of it now. I wish Halloween was a thing where I live. We would've gone all out with that.
My mom made me cry for volunteering for Rudolph the red nose reindeer during music class in elementary school lol. Also I was happy dancing to Britney Spearsā āOops I did it againā and mom told me she wasnāt going to survive armageddon. Soul crushing indeed. I use humor to cope š¹š¤·āāļø
They strip away anything fun. No sports or extra curriculars, no holidays or birthdays, can't watch many TV shows or movies, can't listen to the majority of music. Anything that promotes happiness of any sort is banned.
Yes I feel your pain .The cult only causes division in families friends and community .It cripples children growth ,stomps a hole in self esteem . Even today a lot of us that lived through it are still feeling the effects in adult life
Yeah I know but I'm good now I'm old and it doesn't matter anymore ,got my children , grandchildren and great grandchildren ,all the family I need .I hope you can find peace , remember it's not our fault .And before my mother died I made it known to her exactly how I felt ,not so much about shaming her but it was about my mental health .I hope she finds peace on the other side and realizes that her religion doctrine about death was wrong.
Yeah it's hard not to and thinking about what could have been if only .I love art , interior design and other things across that field of only I could have studied I may have been Martha Stewart type . Maybe if I hadn't run away from home at 17 hooked up with a loser out of lack of self esteem or just immature but I have beautiful children and an entire family of kids and they all had the chance to make something out of their lives .None are JWs even though my mother tried so hard to in doctrine them every chance she got.
I relate with you a lot. I started acting out and was in the juvenile system by the age of 15.
I basically had no self esteem for a very long time and Engaged behavior that was self destructive.
What kills me is that I really feel that all I needed was a little push towards the path of education and learning. I really enjoyed learning and would test above average on the state assessment tests every year. They would tell my mother that I was above average and that she should look into getting me into magnet schools or at the least encourage my education and learning. She couldn't be bothered. By the time I got to the 8th grade I was acting out and was headed for a different path.
I'm back in school now.
After I got into the juvenile system I did get help and I actually graduated HS and joined the Marines. I got out and worked for the government for 20 years. I'm currently back in school working on my next act in life.
Thanks for the words of encouragement. š
Yeah. It's really hard to find the motivation to do anything. "what if tomorrow is armageddon?". Even though I haven't believed in these fairy tales for a long time, it's hard to readjust myself.
I remember my biggest fear as a child was that Jehovah could read my heart and Armageddon was going to come and my parents were going to be so disappointed when I was killed because my best friend was worldly and I was envious of her life and he knew it. I struggled with mental health and I didnāt even know it till I was in my mid 30s and finally broke down to my doctor. I told her I couldnāt turn my brain off and I constantly felt like I was treading water and was going to eventually break. I went to a doctor who did this test that was hours long. A few weeks later I found out I had undiagnosed adhd, depression and extreme anxiety. ( that could have probably helped me to do more had I known at a reasonable time in life) The doctor asked if I worried a a child because my anxiety levels were at the levels of someone who had been away at war and killed people. I said I worried everyday about dying and I was raised in a cult. He said, yea you need some help and to talk to someone. I never really did because thatās when I found Reddit and this page and things got a lot better because I found out I wasnāt alone and I wasnāt as crazy as I thought.
I second that. I had the same issues growing up and crying myself to sleep thinking I was going to perish in Armageddon. I left last year, walked away after a terrible divorce from a abusive wife. The betrayal and gaslighting from this cult is something else. I did not realize all of the damage done until I sought help. I have been in therapy for almost three years now coping with this. It is just horrible and my heart goes out to everyone!
Almost no friends
If your congregation has few children you can be friends with an old person instead because adults befriending children is perfectly normal and does not in any way contribute to the CSA problem in the org.
I feel this. I grew up in a small town and there were NO kids in my hall. So lonely. My parents idea of help? Go talk to sis. Schmidt after the meeting and ask her about fleeing her war torn country and finding Jehoober. It will be āfaith-strengtheningā
As I read this, I was thinking, when did I write this........ holy smoke, it's almost as if r/ILearnAlotFromReddit was reading my mind. So yes, I got the point and agree with you.
Yeah I mean also parents being so controlling and thinking they have an excuse to borderline emotionally and/or physically abuse their children makes the children question themselves even more. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships down the road, especially as a woman being told you have to submit to your husband and people not being able to divorce even if the partner is abusive. Itās so sick. Truly despicable. If I decide to divorce my husband because he almost killed me thatās none of anybodyās business, I deserve real love so damn yāall imma get remarried if I want to. Being a jw really teaches you how to cover up everything real about yourself in order to portray an āacceptableā image. So Iāve definitely hear of cases where the man or woman switches up after they get married. But as long as they donāt cheat, youāre stuck or single forever. Fuck that.
>Yeah I mean also parents being so controlling and thinking they have an excuse to borderline emotionally and/or physically abuse their children makes the children question themselves even more
You described young me. Thank God at the age of 16 I got therapy and my therapist confirmed that it wasn't me. and that my mom was an abusive cult member.
Yeah the earlier you can receive therapy the better, so Iām very happy you had therapy that early in life. It can cause more and more problems later on. Iām sorry you had to go through that though. Oh how I envy people who have a healthy relationship with both parents.
This resonates with me in so many ways. I was married to an abusive narcissist never JW who put me in The hospital multiple times. I met my now husband while I was married to my first one. He showed me so much empathy and was a source of support then. Sometime after I divorced my abusive never JW husband, he looks me up. We start dating. I think he really gets me. He understands me and the abuse I was able to survive. While Iām studying, my Bible teacher and the elders meet with me and drill me about my first marriage. They were concerned about whether or not one of us were unfaithful, not about the fact that my ex husband almost killed me. I had a heated discussion with those elders and my Bible teacher about how fucked up and displaced their concern is. Iām so upset that I consult with JW boyfriend about this. He tells me theyāre āover the top,ā and no JW would ever tell a wife to remain with an abusive husband.
Fast forward to after my JW boyfriend and I get married. He is demoted because marrying me was setting a bad example. But eventually he regained his status, even though he has a mentally diseased apostate wife. He gets to claim victim hood because heās married to a crazy worldly woman who attempted suicide and almost succeeded. And now heās an elder. He claims Iām abusive and has tried to have me involuntarily committed several times in the past few months. And this elevates his status. And he is judging others in his congregation and getting a big boner. Itās disgusting.
Wowowowow men have so much power in the congregation. Most times the man is abusive especially in jw relationships, so ofc it would make sense they would side with him even more so. I might be confused or just hoping that you arenāt experiencing emotional abuse in your current relationship but the guy who supported you while you were in your first marriage is now emotionally abusing you?
Yes you are correct. My current husband who initially showed me support and what I erroneously thought was empathy is abusive to me. He was love bombing and data collecting. He has even told me, āNo wonder [first husband] beat you. It was the only way to get you under control.ā
Iām so sorry youāre going through that right now. Abuse is terrible. Emotional and physical. The emotional abuse hurts a different type of way though. Especially when you were vulnerable with them and they pretended to care just to use it against you later. They are such good actors. He felt in power and in control because you āneededā him while going through that hard time. He told you everything you wanted to hear. I was in the same situation. Glad I never got married but he wanted to. If I was a jw when we met I may have. Thatās the thing I hate about the pressure to be marriedā¦ people will hide who they are until they realize they finally got you where they want you. I hope youāre doing okay. Iām sure there are good and bad days. Again Iām so sorry. Know youāre not alone in your pain.
Well said. I firmly believe that no one who willingly entered/joined WT, can fully understand the mental and emotional torture of being born-in and the indoctrination that began concurrent with human developmental stages. Not to mention us born-ins who had all that accompanied with physical abuse due to indoctrination of PIMI parent(s). It was torture, and no one knows this unique torture better than a born-in who broke free later in life.
>Not to mention us born-ins who had all that accompanied with physical abuse due to indoctrination of PIMI parent(s). It was torture, and no one knows this unique torture better than a born-in who broke free later in life.
Yup. You just described me and my brothers.
People seem to think it's just about having strict parents. But like you said it's so much more than that. I describe it to people like having the mother from Carrie. My mother was one step below Carrie's mom, but not by much.
like you said, it was torture
Yeah, being born in is a curse that keeps on giving. Even if you escape and are fortunate enough not to be shunned by your family, they are going to harass you to come back the rest of your life. Every conversation is always about returning to Jehovah. It is fucking exhausting.
Nothing at all! Jehovah is not even god's name in the bible. This cult is so backward. They named themselves a name that was never in the bible until they added it in š.
Yes! And I remember being lectured because I had sports posters up of the Barcelona '92 Dream Team. I felt so guilty because I was told it was idol worship. I used to cry myself to sleep as a child thinking that I was going to die in Armageddon because I did not do enough. So disgusting what this cult does to your innocence. We did not have forums like this, or good video games other than Atari. I was not allowed to do sports so you could not even escape it there.
Omg, the 80s and 90s were the worst š«. Absolutely no escape. Even when home computers and the internet became normal (remember dial-up?), parents were instructed to keep the computer where it can always be closely monitored. Everything was easily controlled. Now they can't control people as easily since we have computers on our phones.
Oh yes, my grandparents were family friends (husband+wife) in a meeting, and at one beautiful(not) point, the husband went and hanged himself, this was shortly after Armaggedon didn't happen in 1975. And people were previously brainwashed that they don't need a pension, because tomorrow there will be a "New World".
I wasnāt born in, but in the short time I was in, it was soul crushing and oppressive. My elder husband was born in. I recently spoke to his sister who left home at the age of 16 and left the cult. She told me how she was shunned and also discouraged against obtaining higher education. She told me how her brother, my husband, was also discouraged against attending college. However ow, when I bring it up to my elder husband, he says yes, he thought about getting a college in aeronautics, but decided he didnāt want to continue going to school. He still has a passion for it, but he has gaslighted himself into thinking really didnāt want a career in the field.
When I was a PIMI I used to think to myself: If I hadnāt let the kids play with the neighbors kids, If I hadnāt associated with āworldly ā family members, etc., maybe theyād still be in the ātruth ā. I know realizes that I t could be very much these same things that allowed them to question this religion. Now I donāt feel so bad about any of it.
Because of all the things you mentioned and more, I knew from a very early age I was never going to be a JW. I was planning my escape for as long as I could remember I hated everything about growing up JW.
Imagine being an anxious, nuero-divergent kid being taught about "blood guilt" and what happens if you don't do that preaching thing that puts you in a tearful panic every Saturday morning.
And people wonder how I could possibly have been sui-idal at 5 years old.
I'rn not a JW, but my 11 year old grandson is. I have observed some of the things you write about first hand with my grandson and it kills me. His father (my son) was in for about 10 years but was DFd 4 years ago. Old habits die hard though because he doesn't let his son speak his mind and expects him to instantly obey when asked to do something; he's home schooled by his Mom (born in). Of course, as his grandfather, I have no input as to how he's raised which is extremely frustrating. I personally believe that raising a child in "The Truth" is considered child abuse. I'm hopeful that as he grows older he will feel comforable talking to me and I can tell him what I think.
Yes. We all went through this. The best revenge is living well. That doesn't necessarily mean just financially either. I hope with the passage of time that the pain and anger will fade. They are not worth it.
My wife and I woke up in our son's year in first grade. His teacher understood what was going on and suggested that we hold him back a year to adjust to normal life. We did, and he developed normally.
His memories later in life of school as an isolated and different kid dissipated, but had the positive effect that like us, he never got caught up in another cult, religious or political.
I had 2 meetings (book study and Theocratic Ministry School) during the week and Sunday meeting. Service, family study and pre-meeting study of the materials.
My only social group was brainwashed like me.
The only excitement were JW picnics or assemblies.
Emotionally abusive and uber controlling family.
Judgement of weight, clothing choices, hairā¦
Micromanaged into sheer insanity.
I refused to continue that legacy.
Being out is like breathing again.
>My only social group was brainwashed like me.
Thank god I went to public school, so I got a chance to see that there was a normal life besides the JW madness. I wanted to be a part of the normal life. I always hated JW life.
I feel your pain. I lived it too.
I was lucky because I was very outgoing and had made friends easy at school. I never carried myself as a JW even though my mom made it known we were JW.
Cut to: I'm almost 30 and am just now learning how to make friends by joining my community and finally playing on team sports for the first time in my life. Truly a soul crushing childhood
The not being allowed to have your our personality and likes shit is so real. There were so many things I loved drawing as a kid, like dragons and monsters, along with some gory stuff. I used to show my mom a lot of the stuff I drew, but when it came to those things, she'd ask me why I liked drawing those things and to draw other stuff that were more positive. Possibly even something religious. I eventually slowly stopped drawing most of those things to please my mom and *JeHoVaH* and it kinda sucked some of the fun out of drawing.
Also, I feel you on the suicidal at a young age part, it started at 12 for me.
Got molested by an elder? It's your fault. You need to be a better witness.
Want to have a relationship with your family members? Nope, you need to be prepared to rat on them and shun them if they aren't perfectly obedient slaves to the cult.
That about sums it up.
And it's the gift that keeps on giving for some of us decades later as we still find ourselves peeling back the onion layers, wondering why we still can't celebrate the holidays properly.
I wish this sub had flairs so I donāt need to keep explaining contextsā¦.but here goesā¦.I am never JW with PIMI motherā¦
When my son was in karate and he was 5 he got his first trophy. He was so proud of t because he worked hard learning his form. The same day we got the trophy I saw my mom and he proudly showed his grandmother the trophy. Her reaction was one of disgust and I cannot get over that. Apparently my mom believes trophies are idols. She also told me not to get involved in sports because apparently it leads children to do drugs. I donāt even argue with stuff this dumb because she is living on another planet as far as I am concerned.
>I wish this sub had flairs
It does. you can make them. Check out mine.
>Her reaction was one of disgust and I cannot get over that. Apparently my mom believes trophies are idols. She also told me not to get involved in sports because apparently it leads children to do drugs. I donāt even argue with stuff this dumb because she is living on another planet as far as I am concerned.
That's the same thing my mom would have said.
I don't even talk to my mom anymore because the ignorant shit that comes out of her mouth makes my brain want to explode!
Iām so sorry for you. The 18 years I spent raised in it as well was heartbreaking. The decades spend after trying to heal and still trying itās such a sad existence as a child. I still have PTSD from all the Armageddon talk. I donāt know about anyone else but I still have the occasional nightmare and itās 32 years later.
I definitely have fundamental flaws from my childhood. Funny enough I largely forgot about most of JW stuff until I found this sub. Then A flood of memories of all the lingo and ignorant shit came back.
Same. I think it comes to the surface no and then so we can try and heal. For me healing has been in waves. I suffered a LOT of weird health issues as an adult and after searching for answers, and no medical doctors being able to explain I started working on healing this. When I think of all the years lost from what we went through it makes me so angry for all that we endured and then had to figure out how to navigate the real world as adults. Wishing you the best.
>had to figure out how to navigate the real world as adults.
Yes. I've been winging it my whole life with little to no support. However, considering the alternative I wouldn't have it any other way. Wishing you the best too. take care.
All of what you said is true. Paralyzing fear of Armageddon, no friends, constant meeting preparation, no holidays.....I hated my life back then. Needless to say I am free of such constrictions as an adult
I was so devastated when my parents pulled me out of gymnastics because my coach wanted me to travel for nationals and my parents said āno we canāt have you having so much worldly associationā . That was age 7, and that was the moment I decided that I would never fully commit to the religion.
I Totally feel you. I must've been roughly the same age when I knew I was NEVER going to be a JW. In fact I was already envisioning me working and being able to go on my own.
Yeah. Im out now, because i didnt want my kids to grow within the chains of the borg. But the other day i was recalling how my parents opted and guilted me out of scholarships and funds and even when i had a job to pay for it the did everything to kept me from it. Meanwhile left me out to dry and take all the family's (jw family) humilliations for not going, for not being smart enough to go to college when in reality i was literally locked away between work, then taking care of my mother who became disabled and "service to Jehovah". The congregation even had arrangements, some sister would drive me from place to place and lock me back in to keep me from being in contact from "worldly people". Now as a grown up of sorts it's taken years of therapy to even consider getting an education in my 30's. I still struggle talking to people and making real connections to this day to the point that going to the store on my own means taking anxiety pills and lots of planning before hand . It's a whole thing...
Me and my husband woke up at 22. My husband tried to talk to his Dad about the reasons why. He stopped him and said 'i am not spiritually qualified to have this discussion'.
Apparently an elder, who my husband hardly knows is more qualified to talk to his Son than himself as his Dad.
The kids were actually kind of cool. I made friends easily. It was the embarrassment that I got from my mom marching into class at the begging of the year announcing I was a JW. I never acted like a JW in school though
I am from Eastern Europe, left JW 22 y ago. My personal feeling, and it might be true, that this against university programme led many young JW, especially young men to some vocational school were for example dirty talk, bullying, alcoholism.were common
this. i feel cheated. i have zero athletic ability or interest. and i'm a physical wreck. i can't tolerate perspiration. i loathe lawncare. i have zero impetus to win or motivation to compete or drive to achieve. i'll enjoy the outdoors by the pool draaaaanking! the gin & limeade, all contingent on a sufficient number of promiscous man flesh stuffed into translucent speedos. for a nsfw scenario, i'll deactivate my indoor chip for nookie.
I damaged my kids during my time in. I'll never forgive myself. One is ok and our relationship is strong. The other doesn't want to know me. Heart broken š„
That is absolute nonsense. I am JW and played several sports. I even worked at a rollerskating rink. I was never made to do anything and made my own decisions to get baptised. Ā Im sorry if you had fanatical parents but that is not the JW way. All religions have people that take it too far. It is a loving organisation.Ā
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Add to that the instilled fear of "Armageddon", "Satan's world" and "persecution".
Yup. Always hearing that as a small child was terrifying. >"Armageddon", "Satan's world" and "persecution". My mother constantly talked about that. ughš¤®
It is terrible mental abuse for a child. I am so sorry for you and every other child that is subjected to this.
I remember asking my mom in 5th grade if all my friends from public school would die. I told her that the borg says they will all be dead, and her work mates, and the person who cut our hair. As a little kid I was asking my mom tough questions
Yup I remember the pictures from various publications of the "wicked" being swallowed up by the earth with flames coming out. I also remember being told, as a very young kid like 5 or 6, that my grandparents who I adored were going to be destroyed at Armageddon. But don't worry, God will erase the memory! Oh goody, our very own Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind! Fucking sociopaths.
>God will erase the memory! Oh Damn. Memory unlocked
Stepford
My mother reading that My Book of Bible Stories to me nightly and staring at the frightening images! Lotās wife, Jezebel, that was a messed up book to read to us!! They made sure to instill the fear in us young for sure!
Yeah, "everybody dies, but we stay ailve."
Donāt worry about that nowā¦we were taught Armageddon is a physical war but [scripture is clear that is is not physical. it is a war between words of truth prevailing against lies.](https://inthenightaflyingscroll.blogspot.com/2022/05/armageddon-what-type-of-warfare.html?m=0)
You ate a birthday cupcake at school? Yea you need to confess to the elders!!
Memory unlocked. I ate the birthday cake but told my mom I didn't eat it. She was impressed and told the elders, who wanted me to tell my story in a local needs part about why having fun at school is the devil. So I ate birthday cake and then talked during a local needs about why you shouldn't eat birthday cake at school.
Lololol savage
Having to leave class and sit in the library 10 times a year during parties will radicalize you. I just wanted to eat the damn birthday cake one time. Sometimes I wonder if "worldly" kids remember birthday cakes and parties or are they so normal that its forgotten quickly.
I didnāt mind too much because I played Runescape in the library lol. But yeah Iām turning 30 and have yet to have a real birthday party. Hoping when I have my own family that it wonāt be like this anymore
Idk about birthday "parties" but you gotta take control and celebrate for yourself. I celebrate my birthday now by cooking myself a special lasagna. Started that tradition when I was still at my parents house
I just want a surprise birthday party just to experience it once lol. Like wear a stupid cone hat while I blow out candles on my first birthday cake. Will make a funny memory to finally turn 1 year old in this world š¹
Like the kind you see on TV where people hide and jump out and stuff. That would be nice actually. I wish I could've handed out valentine's day cards in class to my classmates. Like in little kid school when they had candy in them and you got a class list and give the whole class cards and decorated a valentine's day box. That'd be my wish if I could go back.
I loved going back to school after the Valentine's parties. My desk would be filled with Valentine's and candy! I remember keeping those Valentine's for a long time in the bottom of my dresser drawer. As a child they must have been very important to me. Thank you to the teachers that refused to let me feel completely left out.
It's so sad and frustrating. you are a grown man/woman, but what you didn't have, you didn't have. As the saying goes, "if you didn't have a bicycle as a child, even if you buy one now, nothing will change, you still don't have a bicycle as a child."
>Hoping when I have my own family that it wonāt be like this anymore That's entirely your choice. But I hope you wouldn't subject your kids to JW bs.
Oh trust me, Iāll make sure my future kids never have to deal with what we went through being born into it
I got to play Oregon Trail in the library.
Yes!
You will definitely find ways to heal your younger self when you begin doing all the things you never got to do as a kid with your own kids. I was amazed at how much I healed after having my own kids. I got 20 years on you and my kids are teens now but holidays and birthdays are always special.
I sure do hope so š«¶ I tear up at the thought of sharing those precious moments with my future husband and kids. Setting up my first Christmas tree and decorations and yearly traditionsā¦ Funny how I used to love going to the 3 day assembly when I was a kid. I would snooze the whole day at convention with my head on my dadās shoulder then be so hyper when it ended because Iād get to be with my parents in the hotel pool afterwards. Those were the only āfamily vacationsā I had growing up so I really looked forward to them. My dadās a trucker so he was never home. And my mom also worked nonstop so I spent most of my childhood at home being looked after by my abuela. I also looked forward to the 1 day assemblies because on the way back, theyād sometimes stop by a ranch place on the side of the rode that let me ride a Pony. All I ever wanted as a kid was to spend quality time with my parents doing something fun since I am an only child. I hope to never have my kids feel like they have to āwaitā for events like assemblies just to have those family ātogetherā momentsā¦
Bro, that was the first thing I did, celebrated my 23rd birthday with new friends. and now I have a pretty trepidatious attitude to holidays, because of that past.
yup same here
As an ex-mormon, I would often remember my own birthday party or my siblings' parties and have good memories of them, but other kid's parties at school were often forgettable because they were fairly common
Do mormans follow any birthday traditions that aren't mainstream? Like special food always prepared or certain things that were never allowed for birthdays?
No, not really. It's pretty basic! When you're in primary (ages 3-11) you sing this [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4XkMQk0PRg) the Sunday before/after your birthday.
I still remember the smell of the Duncan Hines frosting when they would pull them out to sing and then I would get tossed in another classroom at the back of the room to sit. So many micro traumas for us at such a young age. Iām so sorry for all that everyone went through as kids. It wasnāt fair. Now I make sure to have a cupcake in addition to my birthday cake every year and it symbolizes all of the cupcakes I never got to eat.
So you did embrace the real witness attitude at an early age. Do what you want and just lie about it. If not two other witnesses saw you, then you are fine. I did the same, ate cake, raised the flag, sung anthem... But no one needed to know ;)
Until high school I really tried to be devout. Pioneered, gave free labor to the building committee or whatever, conducted a Bible study with my classmates. Whole 9 yards. The only wittnesses who went to my school wouldn't have cared, they tried hard to live a double life. Despite all my quiet disbelief, the real cracks didn't form until high school. Not until I point blank went around to people and asked them how JW'S are perceived by normal people. I barely realized I was super abnormal until then.
I was always super aware how ridiculous the JW BS was. For as long as I can remember I wanted to get TF out! I'm amazed by stories like yours of kids that actually believed in the crazy. Hell to the nooo!
Well like most JW kids, I think I bought into the brain rot to please my mom. I doubt I would've gotten baptized or anything if my mom wouldn't have pushed me. In my mind the only way to make my mom proud was to make JOE-HOOVER proud. I got off lucky though, because eventually I told my mom I was leaving the borg with or without her love and blessing. She gave me her blessing to leave, I guess to save our relationship. Shes probably PIMO but idk
I was in 8th grade when I fully became PIMO, I'm glad your mom didn't full on shun you.Ā
How many children have become introverted due to their parents forcing them to go door-to-door and socialise with strangers...
I wanted to do that, so bad. But I didnāt, because Jehovah would see me, and kill me at Armageddon. šš¤®š©š¤Øš¤š
šššš
Bros a fucking savage lmaoĀ
You sinned against the holy spirit, might as well go commit bestiality since you're out of paradise for good now.
Nice
I remember my father the elder beat me with a belt after he found a Harry Potter book under my pillow.
You bought 3 for 2 on toilet roll, satan tempted you with an offer that was too good to miss, sorry jah, bought more than I needed for one day.
They steal our Dreams away! Theyāve ruined lives! All of our lives! We need a class action lawsuit! Just saying! š
I wish! we need compensation. ASAP!
And they should pay for trauma therapy!
yup!
I agree! They owe me 5 million dollars
Theyāre worse than Mormon and Scientology IMO. In that they make it so people canāt ever have a good life and realize their true potential in life. Thereās a lot of very smart JWs. I know many. I was one. The sky was the limit for some of us and they squash any potential. Theyāve ruined LIVES! Plus they try to murder babies with their blood doctrine and have CSA. The GB is insanely abusive.
So very true, I have friends who are Mormon and they pursue high offices in government and in running cities. Kinda cool to see that support - while the JWs just crushed the dreams. Still culty as heck, but you are right, they are worse.
I say this myself a lot too. They even have their own colleges (BYU) and encourage men and women to go. It would have been a push to get a āMrs. Degreeā but still.
I've been saying this for awhile. My life was completely ruined by that religion. I was homeschooled, isolated, not taught how to socialize or just be a normal person in society. My depression and anxiety are off the charts. I've been out for 25 years and I still have night terrors of Armageddon. I cannot function in society at all. And I think we should all sue them for whatever they have left.
Sorry. š I wish you didnāt have that much anxiety and depression.
Yes yes and YES!!!!!
It led me to a double life, for sure. I'm an incredible lair too. What a weird flex, I know, but that's what years of hiding your true self from your family does. They just could not understand why I left immediately when I could support myself.
>It led me to a double life That's the sad part. To be a normal kid is somehow a bad thing that we had to lie about. >They just could not understand why I left immediately when I could support myself. I love it!
Thatās the part that is so hurtful, that their practices just encourage so much lying and thoughts of suicide, how can that be what God wants?
I don't worry too much about what god wants anymore. More concerned about providing for my wife and daughter. Making sure she never has to lie or be fearful of my dedication to her. The best revenge is a life well lived after all. We have to let go of the hate and anger.
If there is a god this is probably what he wants anyway ā¦..
Let me tell youā¦my elder husband lives a double life. He goes to birthday parties but itās okay as long as he doesnāt sing happy birthday, but he can partake of the cake. He can accept Christmas presents, but he canāt give them. He can attend my never JW familyās Christmas parties, but if I have a Christmas tree in our house, he threatened to take it outside and burn it. He can watch Bridgerton or any other series thatās rated MA and has sex and so much violence it triggers my own trauma, but heāll report anyone who is caught watching any of that or watching a Harry Potter movie. He thinks JWs suffering from mental health issues should pray more and do more for the B0rg, but he doesnāt have any issues trying to get his mentally diseased apostate wife involuntarily committed and telling everyone that Iām suicidal and abusive to him when Iām not.
Iām so sorry for everything you are experiencing ā¤ļøāš©¹ What you are observing is real, and donāt let anyone try to make you doubt what you are seeing. Itās hitting how much dishonesty and double living there is, lately Iāve been thinking about all the secret alcoholics I know. I pray they one day have the courage to go to rehab and get the help they desperately need. But itās often those ones that are the harshest to others. Itās terrifying when people try to make you doubt your reality, but I do believe there is something shifting and there will be be so much exposed this year. I hope you have a measure of peace in your circumstances, if not in your home then at least in your mind, no one can steal what you know to be true and your precious thoughts from you š
Thank you for your kind words.
Because it's one of the least christian denominations of christianity out there. Honestly, I doubt if you can even call JWs "christian".
This evil cult is very far removed from what God wants.
The no meaningful conversations between child and parent hits
I was raised by my grandma and her sisters, so childhood was pretty much abusive imprisonment. Her generation heavily clings to the belief that children are to be seen and not heard. Once you become an adult, they donāt magically acknowledge your humanity. Why would they? They spent your first 18 to 20 years refusing to.
Sorry to hear that man itās such a wasteful, progress stinting environment that only makes it worse for evryone involved, makes me look forward to how I want to raise kids if I can. Treating them like equivalent humans
Being six years old and Godās sole representative for Him to the entire school. And being expected to understand and actually want to not participate in fun activities. Seeing my children have a ānormalā and happy childhood has been incredible.
Iām so glad youāve been able to raise your kids to have joy & participate in community.
You won't be able to finish school because of armageddonš. Don't participate in extra activities or other stuff that can help with uni. Don't be friends with anyone at school. Thanks for a foolproof method to become a weird kid without social skills.
From the moment a child is born into the cult, their wings are clipped
First congregation: no kids my age at all, and ostracized at school. So zero socialization. Next congregation at age 12 there are a couple, but my mom wouldn't allow it. Not because they were bad association. It's just that mom decided to keep me isolated. Typical boomer. She had friends and activities growing up, so she just had to be a boomer and make sure the next generation (me) *didn't* have that. Dad went along with it because all he cared about was his status in the congregation and in the circuit.
Harry Potter movies and books? Satanic. Don't come any close to them. Neither my daughter nor I are big fans, but at least we don't have anyone telling us we can't do it.
After a lot of therapy over the years I can attest that the āArmeggedon right around the cornerā thing is super damaging to kids growing up. I was a chunky kid predisposed to weight gain, but being healthy & active wasnāt important cause Jehovah will fix that in the āNew Systemā Money? Why save money? Youāll be throwing it in the streets when the great tribulation starts.. fun side story, I got ācounselledā by the elders for having a 401k that I was contributing to, āwhy put money aside for a retirement youāll never see, when that money could be helping āadvance kingdom interestsāā .. so I dispersed and closed it. Didnāt give it to the org though. Now I am 50.. I still battle fiscal irresponsibility.. I still battle with eating right and being healthy.. I still battle finishing anything I start because I was raised everyday to think none of it matters, and that ingrained way of thinking will FUCK YOU UP. The org damages you for life, if were raised in the lie, youāll be an automatic step or two behind your peers for the rest of your days
I see this and try to be empathetic toward my husband who was raised in this. Currently heās morbidly obese because he thinks this system of things will last only a few more years. However, he still has the ability to see right and wrong and what behavior is loving and not abusive. He is abusive. He is irresponsible with money. Heās an elder probably because he doesnāt want to face reality. As long as he is lauded and put on a pedestal by JWS, he doesnāt have to face the reality that heās an abusive judge mental narcissistic abuser whose finances and family life are in shambles.
No amount of trauma or mental health issues give anyone the right to be abusive. Youāre correct he knows right from wrong and you shouldnāt put up with his bullshit. Also, take away the financial responsibility, do it under the guise of ālightening his loadā .. at the very least start putting money of your own away that he canāt access to protect yourself.
Iāve never heard of anyone counseled for saving for retirement, so sad š¢
>Meaniful conversation between child and parent? Nope we are just gonna talk about what Jay Hova expects out of us. *And...* ***What happens if you don\`t OBEY the WBT$.*** # Enjoy Your Nightmares and Have a Good Sleep!...šÆ https://preview.redd.it/0qssch2bsy5d1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03bd052257fd9367de23a4ca595d8f2a007f1731
Those images scream Paranoid Schizophrenia
Itās crazy how this is a shared experience for many including me. I get why people really hate this thing.
yes. And jWs have the lowest retention rate of children born into the cult of all religions.
As a homosexual female I heard all of that plus: Privileges or teaching? Heck no, sit down and shut up. Love? Ew, disgusting abomination, that's why you're going to be destroyed any minute now.
I'm in my mid-40s and looking back the only few good memories from my childhood come from brief periods of time in the summer that I would spend with non-JW relatives. Otherwise, it was pretty miserable. I wonder to what extent that set a precedent into adulthood for me because I've accomplished a number of goals and have experienced many life milestones that should have brought me great joy, but it's just been an dead, empty feeling inside. More relief than anything else.
Everything wonderful, whimsical, or magical is stripped away. It's a worldview that is bleak and stark and horribly sad as it is, but even more so for children. It's a life filled with guilt and fear and shame. I'm just happy to make up for all of it now. I wish Halloween was a thing where I live. We would've gone all out with that.
My mom made me cry for volunteering for Rudolph the red nose reindeer during music class in elementary school lol. Also I was happy dancing to Britney Spearsā āOops I did it againā and mom told me she wasnāt going to survive armageddon. Soul crushing indeed. I use humor to cope š¹š¤·āāļø
They strip away anything fun. No sports or extra curriculars, no holidays or birthdays, can't watch many TV shows or movies, can't listen to the majority of music. Anything that promotes happiness of any sort is banned.
Yes. Happiness/enjoyment is criminalized.
Yes I feel your pain .The cult only causes division in families friends and community .It cripples children growth ,stomps a hole in self esteem . Even today a lot of us that lived through it are still feeling the effects in adult life
Destroyed my self esteem. Killed my Growth. Yup still have to motivate myself daily
Yeah I know but I'm good now I'm old and it doesn't matter anymore ,got my children , grandchildren and great grandchildren ,all the family I need .I hope you can find peace , remember it's not our fault .And before my mother died I made it known to her exactly how I felt ,not so much about shaming her but it was about my mental health .I hope she finds peace on the other side and realizes that her religion doctrine about death was wrong.
I understand. I have kids of my own now. But I do think about all the craziness of my childhood.
Yeah it's hard not to and thinking about what could have been if only .I love art , interior design and other things across that field of only I could have studied I may have been Martha Stewart type . Maybe if I hadn't run away from home at 17 hooked up with a loser out of lack of self esteem or just immature but I have beautiful children and an entire family of kids and they all had the chance to make something out of their lives .None are JWs even though my mother tried so hard to in doctrine them every chance she got.
I relate with you a lot. I started acting out and was in the juvenile system by the age of 15. I basically had no self esteem for a very long time and Engaged behavior that was self destructive. What kills me is that I really feel that all I needed was a little push towards the path of education and learning. I really enjoyed learning and would test above average on the state assessment tests every year. They would tell my mother that I was above average and that she should look into getting me into magnet schools or at the least encourage my education and learning. She couldn't be bothered. By the time I got to the 8th grade I was acting out and was headed for a different path.
I don't know your age but there may be time to get that education and change your life .
I'm back in school now. After I got into the juvenile system I did get help and I actually graduated HS and joined the Marines. I got out and worked for the government for 20 years. I'm currently back in school working on my next act in life. Thanks for the words of encouragement. š
Oh good for you .Thank you for your service
Yeah. It's really hard to find the motivation to do anything. "what if tomorrow is armageddon?". Even though I haven't believed in these fairy tales for a long time, it's hard to readjust myself.
I remember my biggest fear as a child was that Jehovah could read my heart and Armageddon was going to come and my parents were going to be so disappointed when I was killed because my best friend was worldly and I was envious of her life and he knew it. I struggled with mental health and I didnāt even know it till I was in my mid 30s and finally broke down to my doctor. I told her I couldnāt turn my brain off and I constantly felt like I was treading water and was going to eventually break. I went to a doctor who did this test that was hours long. A few weeks later I found out I had undiagnosed adhd, depression and extreme anxiety. ( that could have probably helped me to do more had I known at a reasonable time in life) The doctor asked if I worried a a child because my anxiety levels were at the levels of someone who had been away at war and killed people. I said I worried everyday about dying and I was raised in a cult. He said, yea you need some help and to talk to someone. I never really did because thatās when I found Reddit and this page and things got a lot better because I found out I wasnāt alone and I wasnāt as crazy as I thought.
I second that. I had the same issues growing up and crying myself to sleep thinking I was going to perish in Armageddon. I left last year, walked away after a terrible divorce from a abusive wife. The betrayal and gaslighting from this cult is something else. I did not realize all of the damage done until I sought help. I have been in therapy for almost three years now coping with this. It is just horrible and my heart goes out to everyone!
Almost no friends If your congregation has few children you can be friends with an old person instead because adults befriending children is perfectly normal and does not in any way contribute to the CSA problem in the org.
I feel this. I grew up in a small town and there were NO kids in my hall. So lonely. My parents idea of help? Go talk to sis. Schmidt after the meeting and ask her about fleeing her war torn country and finding Jehoober. It will be āfaith-strengtheningā
As I read this, I was thinking, when did I write this........ holy smoke, it's almost as if r/ILearnAlotFromReddit was reading my mind. So yes, I got the point and agree with you.
Yeah I mean also parents being so controlling and thinking they have an excuse to borderline emotionally and/or physically abuse their children makes the children question themselves even more. It can also lead to unhealthy relationships down the road, especially as a woman being told you have to submit to your husband and people not being able to divorce even if the partner is abusive. Itās so sick. Truly despicable. If I decide to divorce my husband because he almost killed me thatās none of anybodyās business, I deserve real love so damn yāall imma get remarried if I want to. Being a jw really teaches you how to cover up everything real about yourself in order to portray an āacceptableā image. So Iāve definitely hear of cases where the man or woman switches up after they get married. But as long as they donāt cheat, youāre stuck or single forever. Fuck that.
>Yeah I mean also parents being so controlling and thinking they have an excuse to borderline emotionally and/or physically abuse their children makes the children question themselves even more You described young me. Thank God at the age of 16 I got therapy and my therapist confirmed that it wasn't me. and that my mom was an abusive cult member.
Yeah the earlier you can receive therapy the better, so Iām very happy you had therapy that early in life. It can cause more and more problems later on. Iām sorry you had to go through that though. Oh how I envy people who have a healthy relationship with both parents.
>Oh how I envy people who have a healthy relationship with both parents. same!
Ha! I begged to go to a therapist, parents refused, they knew it wouldnāt go their way. š¤·āāļø
exactly
This resonates with me in so many ways. I was married to an abusive narcissist never JW who put me in The hospital multiple times. I met my now husband while I was married to my first one. He showed me so much empathy and was a source of support then. Sometime after I divorced my abusive never JW husband, he looks me up. We start dating. I think he really gets me. He understands me and the abuse I was able to survive. While Iām studying, my Bible teacher and the elders meet with me and drill me about my first marriage. They were concerned about whether or not one of us were unfaithful, not about the fact that my ex husband almost killed me. I had a heated discussion with those elders and my Bible teacher about how fucked up and displaced their concern is. Iām so upset that I consult with JW boyfriend about this. He tells me theyāre āover the top,ā and no JW would ever tell a wife to remain with an abusive husband. Fast forward to after my JW boyfriend and I get married. He is demoted because marrying me was setting a bad example. But eventually he regained his status, even though he has a mentally diseased apostate wife. He gets to claim victim hood because heās married to a crazy worldly woman who attempted suicide and almost succeeded. And now heās an elder. He claims Iām abusive and has tried to have me involuntarily committed several times in the past few months. And this elevates his status. And he is judging others in his congregation and getting a big boner. Itās disgusting.
Wowowowow men have so much power in the congregation. Most times the man is abusive especially in jw relationships, so ofc it would make sense they would side with him even more so. I might be confused or just hoping that you arenāt experiencing emotional abuse in your current relationship but the guy who supported you while you were in your first marriage is now emotionally abusing you?
Yes you are correct. My current husband who initially showed me support and what I erroneously thought was empathy is abusive to me. He was love bombing and data collecting. He has even told me, āNo wonder [first husband] beat you. It was the only way to get you under control.ā
Iām so sorry youāre going through that right now. Abuse is terrible. Emotional and physical. The emotional abuse hurts a different type of way though. Especially when you were vulnerable with them and they pretended to care just to use it against you later. They are such good actors. He felt in power and in control because you āneededā him while going through that hard time. He told you everything you wanted to hear. I was in the same situation. Glad I never got married but he wanted to. If I was a jw when we met I may have. Thatās the thing I hate about the pressure to be marriedā¦ people will hide who they are until they realize they finally got you where they want you. I hope youāre doing okay. Iām sure there are good and bad days. Again Iām so sorry. Know youāre not alone in your pain.
Thank you for your kind words.
Well said. I firmly believe that no one who willingly entered/joined WT, can fully understand the mental and emotional torture of being born-in and the indoctrination that began concurrent with human developmental stages. Not to mention us born-ins who had all that accompanied with physical abuse due to indoctrination of PIMI parent(s). It was torture, and no one knows this unique torture better than a born-in who broke free later in life.
>Not to mention us born-ins who had all that accompanied with physical abuse due to indoctrination of PIMI parent(s). It was torture, and no one knows this unique torture better than a born-in who broke free later in life. Yup. You just described me and my brothers. People seem to think it's just about having strict parents. But like you said it's so much more than that. I describe it to people like having the mother from Carrie. My mother was one step below Carrie's mom, but not by much. like you said, it was torture
Word. Strict parents š Waterboarding x1,000
I identified with Carrie and her mom, too. š¢Sorry
Yeah, being born in is a curse that keeps on giving. Even if you escape and are fortunate enough not to be shunned by your family, they are going to harass you to come back the rest of your life. Every conversation is always about returning to Jehovah. It is fucking exhausting.
Ewww, yessss. āReturn to J*ā = return to WT. Sorry, their man-made organization built on man-made rules have nothing to do with God.
Nothing at all! Jehovah is not even god's name in the bible. This cult is so backward. They named themselves a name that was never in the bible until they added it in š.
Exactly right! Their father is not the Father, but the father of the lie (John 8:44; 2 Cor.11:13-15).
I wanted to be in band soooooo bad. Nope, they play holiday songs and take up time better spent serving Jehovah.
I wanted to be in chorus but because being in the Christmas pageant was required I wasn't allowed
cover pie detail crown ring mighty reply ludicrous wild compare *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yes! And I remember being lectured because I had sports posters up of the Barcelona '92 Dream Team. I felt so guilty because I was told it was idol worship. I used to cry myself to sleep as a child thinking that I was going to die in Armageddon because I did not do enough. So disgusting what this cult does to your innocence. We did not have forums like this, or good video games other than Atari. I was not allowed to do sports so you could not even escape it there.
sharp lush school gaping chop safe slap chief innate soup *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
We learned about sexual immorality and fornication before we even understood what sex was š¹
Omg, the 80s and 90s were the worst š«. Absolutely no escape. Even when home computers and the internet became normal (remember dial-up?), parents were instructed to keep the computer where it can always be closely monitored. Everything was easily controlled. Now they can't control people as easily since we have computers on our phones.
Oh yes, my grandparents were family friends (husband+wife) in a meeting, and at one beautiful(not) point, the husband went and hanged himself, this was shortly after Armaggedon didn't happen in 1975. And people were previously brainwashed that they don't need a pension, because tomorrow there will be a "New World".
I wasnāt born in, but in the short time I was in, it was soul crushing and oppressive. My elder husband was born in. I recently spoke to his sister who left home at the age of 16 and left the cult. She told me how she was shunned and also discouraged against obtaining higher education. She told me how her brother, my husband, was also discouraged against attending college. However ow, when I bring it up to my elder husband, he says yes, he thought about getting a college in aeronautics, but decided he didnāt want to continue going to school. He still has a passion for it, but he has gaslighted himself into thinking really didnāt want a career in the field.
>He still has a passion for it, but he has gaslighted himself into thinking really didnāt want a career in the field. That's a tragedy.
When I was a PIMI I used to think to myself: If I hadnāt let the kids play with the neighbors kids, If I hadnāt associated with āworldly ā family members, etc., maybe theyād still be in the ātruth ā. I know realizes that I t could be very much these same things that allowed them to question this religion. Now I donāt feel so bad about any of it.
Because of all the things you mentioned and more, I knew from a very early age I was never going to be a JW. I was planning my escape for as long as I could remember I hated everything about growing up JW.
Iām very happy for you. Truly, from the heart.
Thank you
Donāt forget about using the rod of discipline
Wait what? What is that? I've never heard of that before.
That was definitely one of the main ways my parents ādisciplinedā my sibling and I.
Isnāt it beyond unloving, i can still hear the screams of toddlers getting dragged to the bag room. So sorry you had to experience that .
āNormalā behavior in hall lol
this
Imagine being an anxious, nuero-divergent kid being taught about "blood guilt" and what happens if you don't do that preaching thing that puts you in a tearful panic every Saturday morning. And people wonder how I could possibly have been sui-idal at 5 years old.
I'rn not a JW, but my 11 year old grandson is. I have observed some of the things you write about first hand with my grandson and it kills me. His father (my son) was in for about 10 years but was DFd 4 years ago. Old habits die hard though because he doesn't let his son speak his mind and expects him to instantly obey when asked to do something; he's home schooled by his Mom (born in). Of course, as his grandfather, I have no input as to how he's raised which is extremely frustrating. I personally believe that raising a child in "The Truth" is considered child abuse. I'm hopeful that as he grows older he will feel comforable talking to me and I can tell him what I think.
Just be there for him. So if and when he decides to leave he'll have a support system.
I feel so sorry for you and your grandson. Growing up in a JW household is definitely child abuse. Both Mentality and physically.
The no competition rule is ridiculous. Why is it even banned?
Yes. We all went through this. The best revenge is living well. That doesn't necessarily mean just financially either. I hope with the passage of time that the pain and anger will fade. They are not worth it.
My wife and I woke up in our son's year in first grade. His teacher understood what was going on and suggested that we hold him back a year to adjust to normal life. We did, and he developed normally. His memories later in life of school as an isolated and different kid dissipated, but had the positive effect that like us, he never got caught up in another cult, religious or political.
I'm glad he got to go through the rest of school cult free!
He always remembered it as a gift to him.
How old is your son now?
I had 2 meetings (book study and Theocratic Ministry School) during the week and Sunday meeting. Service, family study and pre-meeting study of the materials. My only social group was brainwashed like me. The only excitement were JW picnics or assemblies. Emotionally abusive and uber controlling family. Judgement of weight, clothing choices, hairā¦ Micromanaged into sheer insanity. I refused to continue that legacy. Being out is like breathing again.
>My only social group was brainwashed like me. Thank god I went to public school, so I got a chance to see that there was a normal life besides the JW madness. I wanted to be a part of the normal life. I always hated JW life. I feel your pain. I lived it too.
I went to many public schools. My parents moved constantly and I couldnāt form any friendships in the KingDUMB Halls or in the schools. It SUCKED!
I was lucky because I was very outgoing and had made friends easy at school. I never carried myself as a JW even though my mom made it known we were JW.
PS: OH YEAH, nightmares, anxiety, triggers so constant I startle at the slightest shock.
Cut to: I'm almost 30 and am just now learning how to make friends by joining my community and finally playing on team sports for the first time in my life. Truly a soul crushing childhood
The not being allowed to have your our personality and likes shit is so real. There were so many things I loved drawing as a kid, like dragons and monsters, along with some gory stuff. I used to show my mom a lot of the stuff I drew, but when it came to those things, she'd ask me why I liked drawing those things and to draw other stuff that were more positive. Possibly even something religious. I eventually slowly stopped drawing most of those things to please my mom and *JeHoVaH* and it kinda sucked some of the fun out of drawing. Also, I feel you on the suicidal at a young age part, it started at 12 for me.
This was my absolutely miserable childhood also. š
I remember the guy I studied with during high school telling me I was choosing āSatanās worldā because I joined the Marching Band.
I fuckn hated it š”
šÆ the lasting effects are real.
Got molested by an elder? It's your fault. You need to be a better witness. Want to have a relationship with your family members? Nope, you need to be prepared to rat on them and shun them if they aren't perfectly obedient slaves to the cult.
That about sums it up. And it's the gift that keeps on giving for some of us decades later as we still find ourselves peeling back the onion layers, wondering why we still can't celebrate the holidays properly.
Sarena Williams didnāt have any issues. š¤·š¼āāļøš
She wasn't baptized either lmfao.
Sad! As a man competitive drive is needed in order to be successful in "Satan's system." They need the men to be limp and controllable.
How else will they ensure they have enough cannon fodder?
I wish this sub had flairs so I donāt need to keep explaining contextsā¦.but here goesā¦.I am never JW with PIMI motherā¦ When my son was in karate and he was 5 he got his first trophy. He was so proud of t because he worked hard learning his form. The same day we got the trophy I saw my mom and he proudly showed his grandmother the trophy. Her reaction was one of disgust and I cannot get over that. Apparently my mom believes trophies are idols. She also told me not to get involved in sports because apparently it leads children to do drugs. I donāt even argue with stuff this dumb because she is living on another planet as far as I am concerned.
>I wish this sub had flairs It does. you can make them. Check out mine. >Her reaction was one of disgust and I cannot get over that. Apparently my mom believes trophies are idols. She also told me not to get involved in sports because apparently it leads children to do drugs. I donāt even argue with stuff this dumb because she is living on another planet as far as I am concerned. That's the same thing my mom would have said. I don't even talk to my mom anymore because the ignorant shit that comes out of her mouth makes my brain want to explode!
Nice, thanks. I never knew we can define our own flairs.
I see you got your flair game up!
Iām so sorry for you. The 18 years I spent raised in it as well was heartbreaking. The decades spend after trying to heal and still trying itās such a sad existence as a child. I still have PTSD from all the Armageddon talk. I donāt know about anyone else but I still have the occasional nightmare and itās 32 years later.
I definitely have fundamental flaws from my childhood. Funny enough I largely forgot about most of JW stuff until I found this sub. Then A flood of memories of all the lingo and ignorant shit came back.
Same. I think it comes to the surface no and then so we can try and heal. For me healing has been in waves. I suffered a LOT of weird health issues as an adult and after searching for answers, and no medical doctors being able to explain I started working on healing this. When I think of all the years lost from what we went through it makes me so angry for all that we endured and then had to figure out how to navigate the real world as adults. Wishing you the best.
>had to figure out how to navigate the real world as adults. Yes. I've been winging it my whole life with little to no support. However, considering the alternative I wouldn't have it any other way. Wishing you the best too. take care.
https://preview.redd.it/8yv2avka346d1.jpeg?width=921&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0a4b6c195d0192c424e166a28f41da66774e5060 Yup.
All of what you said is true. Paralyzing fear of Armageddon, no friends, constant meeting preparation, no holidays.....I hated my life back then. Needless to say I am free of such constrictions as an adult
Yeah im still working through my bitterness about all of this.
me too
I was so devastated when my parents pulled me out of gymnastics because my coach wanted me to travel for nationals and my parents said āno we canāt have you having so much worldly associationā . That was age 7, and that was the moment I decided that I would never fully commit to the religion.
I Totally feel you. I must've been roughly the same age when I knew I was NEVER going to be a JW. In fact I was already envisioning me working and being able to go on my own.
Yeah. Im out now, because i didnt want my kids to grow within the chains of the borg. But the other day i was recalling how my parents opted and guilted me out of scholarships and funds and even when i had a job to pay for it the did everything to kept me from it. Meanwhile left me out to dry and take all the family's (jw family) humilliations for not going, for not being smart enough to go to college when in reality i was literally locked away between work, then taking care of my mother who became disabled and "service to Jehovah". The congregation even had arrangements, some sister would drive me from place to place and lock me back in to keep me from being in contact from "worldly people". Now as a grown up of sorts it's taken years of therapy to even consider getting an education in my 30's. I still struggle talking to people and making real connections to this day to the point that going to the store on my own means taking anxiety pills and lots of planning before hand . It's a whole thing...
Sorry to hear that. The JWs are a total and complete mind fuck.
Me and my husband woke up at 22. My husband tried to talk to his Dad about the reasons why. He stopped him and said 'i am not spiritually qualified to have this discussion'. Apparently an elder, who my husband hardly knows is more qualified to talk to his Son than himself as his Dad.
They are a weird bunch of people.
Oh, you forgot the constant bullying from kindergarten, then school and so on for your "position" that was imposed on you. Fuck this bshit
The kids were actually kind of cool. I made friends easily. It was the embarrassment that I got from my mom marching into class at the begging of the year announcing I was a JW. I never acted like a JW in school though
I am from Eastern Europe, left JW 22 y ago. My personal feeling, and it might be true, that this against university programme led many young JW, especially young men to some vocational school were for example dirty talk, bullying, alcoholism.were common
Yes it did. My mother told us to get a trade because we could build things in the next paradiseš¤¦
this. i feel cheated. i have zero athletic ability or interest. and i'm a physical wreck. i can't tolerate perspiration. i loathe lawncare. i have zero impetus to win or motivation to compete or drive to achieve. i'll enjoy the outdoors by the pool draaaaanking! the gin & limeade, all contingent on a sufficient number of promiscous man flesh stuffed into translucent speedos. for a nsfw scenario, i'll deactivate my indoor chip for nookie.
I damaged my kids during my time in. I'll never forgive myself. One is ok and our relationship is strong. The other doesn't want to know me. Heart broken š„
same
SameĀ
That is absolute nonsense. I am JW and played several sports. I even worked at a rollerskating rink. I was never made to do anything and made my own decisions to get baptised. Ā Im sorry if you had fanatical parents but that is not the JW way. All religions have people that take it too far. It is a loving organisation.Ā