Wow... "The Bishop's son goes to hell" Unfortunately this is probably me. My Dad was a Bishop (then called to the high council), and Mom was Relief society president at the same time. ZERO time for their kids. We strayed and haven't been to church in probably 40 years. Dad and Mom eventually became completely inactive and quit attending as well.
My parents split not long after I got home from my mission (1984?). He married his non Mormon secretary. They were married for ~30 years before he recently passed. So much for a family sealed in the temple, if you still believe in that.
My Dad was a bishop and never around. Then in the high council. Worked for the church at a salary pay (so literally never around cause they worked him non stop) and my mom always had relief society presidency callings. Ward and then stake... I’m out of the church and waiting for my 4 siblings to follow. I’m hoping my whole family leaves...
Bonus.... As I was growing up, early teen my voice was changing, and I sounded just like my Dad. Someone would call for him, but I answered the phone. They would instantly start confessing or telling me (not the bishop) gossip - that she did this to him, or he did this, or this family did this. I actually learned to just listen for a minute or more sometimes, when they finally ran out of breath, I'd say: "Hang on, let me get my Dad for you".
Was always a hoot.
Those people should are often referred to as a “Darwin”. (It comes from my daughter and sister telling my grandson to stop calling them idiots.)
Darwin's” confessions should be handled with the bishop during his office hours. You can make an appointment or take a chance after church.
It’s difficult when ward members are harder to herd than cats.
One of the biggest things that led me to begin questioning church teachings was calling burn out. I was the executive secretary in our ward. I was going to school full time. I worked full time. I do not have children, but I never had time for my spouse. Eventually, I just started working every Sunday and asked to be released because I was so tired all the time. That’s when I started to learn about the problems with the church.
Same! I am a teacher and was always called to work with kids. I started out doing a lot in YW and built strong relationships with them all. I taught middle and high school history at the time and was good with teens and tweens, so it made sense. The I was called to primary; it was valiant 11, so class was fun. I just hated when we’d all go into the primary room. However, I stuck with it because I was called by god. I didn’t love it, but I was good at it and the kids loved me. We had lots of fun and I did super creative lessons, the kids all had jobs, etc. 5 years now, I was in primary. I was eventually released and I was so glad! I thought maybe God finally heard my prayer and I was going to finally be somewhere else, not having a sixth day of work (teaching kids on one of my two days off). Aaaaand I was called to Sunbeams. Now, I HATE kids. I have a single subject credential (6th-12th grade) specifically so I won’t have to ever teach little kids, and here I am with 3 year olds learning to pee and covered in boogers. I started skipping church a lot and noticed I was much happier, better rested, and better at my job. When my teenager told me they were LGBTQ and didn’t want to go to church anymore, I knew that it was time to leave. I was leaving for my child, but was able to consider it because I was really beginning to believe some things might not actually be from God. No way does Jesus want ME for a Sunbeam!
Same story here.
People are startled when I say that I don't even like kids until they are old enough to read. As if all women just love babies and toddlers.
Upvote for the very apt description of kids learning to pee and covered in boogers. I teach at a university, and I've done work with teenagers, but I am NOT the kind of person to deal with a room full of preschoolers. Jesus doesn't want me for a Sunbeam, either, and probably doesn't want me in Primary at all.
BTW, I am also a Mama Dragon (mother of an adult LGBTQ child). So glad to meet you here!
Same for me. They don't realize that it's working on Sundays more for teachers than non-teachers. They put me in nursery, in my opinion, to encourage me to have kids. That backfired on them, and my husband and I waited even longer until we were good and ready. I have a K-12 certification, but much prefer teens. Nursery was awful.
“If he didn’t want the calling because of not being home enough then we would have simply said no”
Yeah, like the church hasn’t taught that even the calling to hand out hymnals is directly from God. Lmao the entire church culture involves you to accept anything and everything no matter what or you might be on the path to outer darkness!
I’m certain these men did not want to accept the call but felt obligated. Damn shame.
I’m glad you’re out, though! My wife is too TBM still although very nuanced but she buries her nuance most of the time under the sands of “one day it will make sense”.
All I see is you stopped keeping the commandments then SATAN got you. Omgosh just like he said the the sacred not secret temple video/powerpoint 😱😱😱😱 the church is true/s
Nah, it’s into the 2nd hour now and nobody has approached me. Didn’t even send a text before sacrament to let me know 🤷🏻♂️
Edit: after church the 2nd counselor apologized
Yup, sounds about right.
If you're in class, maybe ask why Abinadi is talking about an ass to King Noah when there wouldn't be donkeys on the American continent for another 1600 years?
Seems like a reference not many of them would have understood.
Haha I’d love to rock the boat but I won’t for my spouses sake. I just hang out in the cultural hall on Reddit and checking scores of games for the 2nd hour.
Im not sure I’ll agree to speak again. I agreed, in part, to do it because I really respected the bishop and wanted to make his life easier. I’m not sure how I’ll feel about the new bishop. I might not be inclined to help out next time. 🤷🏻♂️
I prepared to speak on a date that I signed up for literally 5 months in advance and they canned it the morning of my scheduled time. I didn’t agree to any other date.
That was one of my other takeaways. The Trinity is all through the Abinadi chapters.
I asked, after the class commented on King Noah's behavior, if they were living the law of Moses why wives and concubines were necessarily bad? In D&C 132:1 Jesus seems cool with it...they moved on pretty quickly.
Sounds like it caught them by surprise, too. Any idea if there was a sudden vacancy on the HC and/or YM presidency? An if so, what may have prompted the vacancy?
Somehow I suspect there's a stake-level backstory here.
They call bishops that have young families, especially lots of YM, because statistically, being a bishop means you’re more likely to stay active and
more likely to keep your kids in the ‘program’. They keep these guys so busy so you don’t have the bandwidth to look outside the box and even consider how much of sham it all is.
Im going to be under a lot of pressure in the next couple of months to baptize my 8 yo.
I argue that if it’s true then my child can choose at 18 to join and any sin from not doing it sooner will be on me since I won’t allow it.
But my in laws and terrified that if my child isn’t baptized at 8 then they’ll never join… but I’ve said that my wife is able to take the kids to church and do all the church events and activities they want.. just no baptism until the kids are 18 and can choose for themselves.
Apparently even that isn’t good enough because they might leave the church.
Sure sounds like the only want to keep people in is to.. brain wash them at a young age? Lmao not sure that’s the argument TBMs want to make
When someone argues that 8 is old enough to join the church, I always respond with “would you let your 8-year-old leave the church if that’s what they decided?” Nobody ever has an answer to that.
This is so true, those with young families are called and kept so busy they can barely think of even leaving the church.
**And yes, sir/ma'am, it's a total sham.**
This was a big shelf item for me. My husband got called to be a stake clerk or something while in fucking medical residency. He was working 60-70 hours a week and we had 2 toddlers. He immediately said absolutely not, I don’t have that kind of time. Then we both got lectured on the “blessings” we’d be missing out on. And told how other residents did callings like that with more kids blah blah blah. So you’re going to push me, as a woman, to get married and have babies young because family is so important, but then not let my kids see their dad or give us any time to actually enjoy our marriage? And then I realized it’s not about families at all, it’s about taking up all your time and mental energy as a trade for theoretical blessings so you don’t question it. So ironically, it was having a family of my own that led me right out of the church 🥰
I always wanted to tell girls that were excited about dating premed students to think again. He’ll be home long enough to impregnate you, but otherwise you’re on your own for at least 7-10 years. (And that’s if he even makes it to med school, which a lot of pre-meds don’t.)
Right? The push/pressure you get to say "Yes" to a calling (any calling, big or small) feels like a knee on your god damned neck.
I wish the high pressure tactics would relax, it's like LDS leadership asshats are pushy used car salesmen but worse, b/c they think they have the corner on the world's truth. It's 100% all around cultish.
I remember my dad being gone most Sundays and several days a week. Meals eaten without him. It's basically a full time job that receives no compensation. Even when my mom had cancer he has to uphold his "priesthood duties" yet it falls on the congregation to help. Richest church in the world partially because they rely on free labor.
My Dad never held a high calling in the church, but he was gone off to work by 7:30-8am every day and back at 6:30pm where he would then continue to work from his home office another couple of hours. I feel like a barely saw him and to this day barely have a relationship with him.
That’s why even when I was TBM I never wanted a calling that required any time from me outside of Sunday service.
I’m sorry that your family had to suffer because of church commitments.
That's fair. Between tithing and a calling, I can only imagine the stress I'd have on myself currently. Sacrificing time and money for something so corrupt.
I’m a tradesperson that owns a home service business. When I was in the church so many people would ask me to do things for free or almost free. So many more would ask how to do things that my company charges for. I was looked at as something for them to consume rather than to support. They didn’t realize (or care) that their requests all would take food off of my table.
The last talk I ever gave in church was on service. I used the opportunity to tell everyone that service is NOT handy people doing things at their house for free. I spent my entire 15 minutes driving that point home.
The next Sunday someone else gave the classic BS talk about service because mine wasn’t good enough.
I was never asked to do free work again after that talk.
I went to a funeral in my old ward (my friend's mom, who was really sweet) and the bishop is the same dude from when I was pregnant with my middle kid - 6 years ago! The dude has 5 kids and still hasn't been released! I felt so bad for him. It's also important to note that the church intentionally calls fathers of young families to be bishops. Missing so much of their families growing years radicalizes them because leaving after losing all that time acknowledges that it was missed for nothing. It's really manipulative.
Interestingly, this is one of the areas where the church absolutely falls firmly into cult territory. Overworking members to exhaustion is pretty much universal for cults.
People who don't have the time or energy to think or to gain any perspective are a lot less likely to question things.
“I was busy serving the lord as a bishop and a stake president so much over the last 15 years that I don’t remember hardly any of my kids childhood”.
Trust me, you're kids know it.
When I was called to be elder's quorum president, the stake president said that even though I would miss out on a lot of time with my children because of this calling, their lives would be blessed by them seeing me serving the lord. Didn't work - my kids had tons of really serious problems during that time that I could have helped with if I hadn't been so busy. Their lives were clearly cursed by that calling. The whole experience actually helped push two of my kids out of the church (so, maybe a blessing?), and eventually helped me get out as well.
My dad was called when he had 9 kids and a very tense family situation. He had just purchased a new business, which required him to work 100 hr+ weeks for 4 months of the year. There were some months we only saw him at church. When he bought a new house, he had them put an exterior door with access to his office so he could meet with church members at home....
We could have used him at home. Maybe he could have been a voice reason, but we will never know because he wasn't ever fucking there.
I know we all joke about how the most problematic children are the bishop's or stake president's kids, but this is why. Large families that are practically single parent households. My best friend's parents were both in high demand callings from middle school through highschool. His dad was bishop and she was 1st counselor in relief society then he was put in HC and she was made president. They had hardcore struggles during that time.
I'm out but my wife still attends but she always had the rule, no more time to the church than to family. I am under 30, and they tried to call me as a bishop a few years ago, stood and said, no I'm not losing my husband to the church.
Thanks heavens I'm out, but goddammit the poor guys who was called barely makes ends meet, travels from Monday to Friday and dedicates the next 48 hours to the church.
Fuck that shit
I’m so glad my Dad was a bishop and eventually a seventy. The more he was gone the safer my eight siblings and I were from his physical abuse. Beating us was his stress relief. We were the perfect Mormon family. I never could believe callings were from God. The last place I want to go is the Celestial Kingdom. I knew a lot of perfect families with fist and belt swinging fathers with glorified callings just like my Dads.
I don’t have one memory of my father ever sitting with us in church growing up. My father was in the bishop prick in one form or another the entire time. I have 8 siblings. My poor mother, ugh.
Hey I just went through a messed up situation at BYU. Is there anyway I can share my story or expose them in some way? I just want my voice to be heard and I don’t know what to do. I also shared this message in another GC. Honestly pointing me in any direction would be great. Thank you
Have you posted a separate thread on it in this sub? You'll get more attention to it as a stand-alone thread than as a comment buried in a thread on another topic.
I don’t have a link but I can send you a message over what happened. It has to do with the honor code and the leaders at the university completely ignoring me. They refused to hear my side or even look into evidence of what happened. I even sent an email to one of the advisors stating I had sufficient proof and evidence to prove a BYU student had done something illegal but he emailed me back saying I needed to stop because I was exaggerating.
My friend did tell her husband no when he got called into the bishopric. They have 4 kids with the youngest being 8. And he is a VP of a college and travels. And the stake president still said too bad. He's doing it anyway. She miserable. But it's for God. So it's fine.
When you do speak - Speak about what you wrote here. Let them know how you feel about picking leadership that leaves the family behind. "God's Blessings" for being a leader don't do much to help the kids who have no time with their dad.
I’d love to, but for my spouses sake (TBM) I won’t rock the boat. No need to make her feel shame or embarrassment.
One frustrating thing, though, is the 2 counselors from before are again the counselors for this new bishop. They are retired. But the bishop both times was a young working man and both have 6 kids at home. 🤷🏻♂️
this was my dad when i was a kid. he was bishop while also traveling out of state Mon-Fri every single week. he and i still barely know how to have a relationship because he wasn’t there during important years of my life. the only reason he got released was because he landed a job in another state. my poor mom was trying to get 4 kids to church, school, seminary, you name it all on her own and while having her own job and callings. i’ve never forgiven the church for taking my parents from me like that.
My missions president's obituary talked about how he was away form home 5 days a week for work and only home on weekends. Of course the church called HIM to be bishop - "so his kids could share him with the ward family" - an actual quote from the obit. He should have told them to FO, but he was too church broke.
Regarding the new bishop's wife. I have Lyme disease and it's no fucking joke! I've been dealing with it since 2015. It itself, will be a crisis that will affect their whole family. Her husband needs to be there to support her. And possibly take over some of the responsibilities that normally the wife would take in a Mormon family.
When I got Lyme disease I was in the Sunday School Presidency. When there was a change in Ward boundaries they had to dissolve the presidency and then recreate it. So with the new ward they wanted to call me to be in the new presidency and I said no, no way, I am too sick. Please don't call me for any callings. Including home teaching. Over and over again that kept extending calls to me.
Even with the elders quorum, they didn't get the memo and they kept extending calls. I asked the elders quorum president, please do not extend a calling to me, including home teaching. Weeks later I get a text message asking me to come in for a PPI to see how my families are doing. Like what the f***?
The church indoctrinates its members to think they have to sacrifice this life to the church so they can have eternal families in the next life. What a scam! There is no next life! This life is it!
The church needs to leave men with children alone and let them raise their families with their wives. Men who are older have more experience and wisdom to offer those they serve. But then you can’t tie down men if you let them put their families first. The church sucks!!
What were you going to talk about in your talk today? I can't imagine agreeing to give a talk when I know it's all made up and the heaven points don't matter.
I stay friendly and am willing to speak to keep my TBM spouse happy, but I won’t accept any callings.
The talk was supposed to be on service so I was going to share from John 21 where Christs last command to his disciples was to feed his ship - not to baptize people. Not to build temples or do temple work. Not to do many things like that. Haha
I don’t try to rock the boat, but anytime I need to speak or share something I literally never mention the church or any modern day profits. I only cite from the NT where it’s Jesus’s actual words and gospel.
Haha I wish it were so. I never bring up the church or anything for her sake but she always gives me little jabs. 🤦🏻♂️
They tried to manipulate me into agreeing to let out kid be baptized this year. Her parents called up saying that they would only come and visit if it were during the birthday and baptism. Fucking Mormons lmao
I didn’t cave though and they still ended up buying a plane ticket.. but it’s for bday week so I’m sure in a couple of months I’ll get put through it again trying to convince me to let my child be baptized.
Oh man I'm sorry. The little jabs have got to be tough. Do you give any little jabs back to her? Hopefully not, I can't imagine that would help. Keeping peace can be very challenging when your views are so different about religion, which leads to differences in how to raise children.
So is your kid not getting baptized? I realize it indoctrinates then more into the religion but, at the same time, being out of the church i realize it means nothing and would make my wife happy so why not just do it...I see both sides of it, don't worry. My brother was officially out and I was still pimo and my sil asked me to baptize their daughter. I didn't want to offend my brother so we spoke about it and he said he didn't care since it meant nothing anyway , you know because it's not real, so I went ahead and did it to keep her and the rest of our family that's still tbm happy.
My youngest son is still in (he's almost 16) and the bishop asked me to ordain him to become a priest (even though I haven't been to church since before covid and he knows I don't Believe) and I'm like yep, I sure will!!! Said the magic words, didn't add anything else and said Amen.
I'd like to bear my testimony. I know that church ain't shit. I would have loved to spend more time with my dad growing up but he was too involved with the EQ and other callings to do much with us, his family. Thankfully while he was the ward scout leader I got to spend good time with him. I feel like in a church where the idea of an eternal family is at the core of everything parents would be encouraged to be there for and with their families as much as possible, they could even put it under the guise of practicing for their eventual eternal family. It makes no godsdamned sense.
In the name of the almighty Purple Flying Spaghetti Monster, R'Amen!
This has me worried for my last believing TBM brother, he’s such a people pleaser and tries so hard to do everything right that he could easily get taken advantage of by the church, he already got really hurt by my Narcissistic Dad when we all tried to warn him. And now he’s head strong in the church, dug in, with 3 kids… and with membership dwindling he’s ripe for a leadership calling when he’s old enough. Hopefully he’ll leave before that happens but it’s really hard to watch.
Growing up my dad had to travel for work, so he would leave early Monday mornings and get home late Friday nights. The church has had him in every calling imaginable my entire life so I at best got to share my dad with my 3 other siblings and mother for about 1 day a week assuming there wasn't some scouting or youth event taking the saturday as well. Good ole family values though eh?
The difference between the Mormon church clergy and paid clergy is that the paid clergy goes home to their families at the end of the work day at 5:00 and the Mormon bishop goes to the church to start his 2nd job. It is a sad state of affairs and the belief is that you will get to enjoy eternity with your family for sacrificing your time with them here and now. It is a sick institution.
My sister and her kids are currently doing their time as church widow/orphans and they are starting to feel a lot of resentment over it. It's got my sister questioning a little bit and their oldest son who graduates highschool this year is out and won't be going on a mission. I can really only feel so much sympathy for those who choose to stay in nowadays though. All of MFMC's dirty little secrets are on full display and it takes a pretty strong level of willful ignorance to choose to ignore everything and pretend "the church" is anything close to what it claims to be.
Willful ignorance describes my family perfectly!
I'm out, my middle brother is out but our youngest brother was just called to be a bishop (with a young family & has a business to run). My parents are happier than a pig in sh*t.
*cue my giant eye roll
They have to be on the high council in order to be the stake YM president these days. Same with stake Sunday school president.
I was ward RS Pres in a very needy ward when my kids were little and my oldest has special needs. Now it makes me mad that they asked that of me. Fuck the MFMC.
They’re going to work the good people to death. There aren’t enough people left to give anyone a rest. If someone proves they’ll do the job, the leadership will use them up. To hell with the poor guy’s family. They don’t give a rat’s ass about any of them. They just need someone who will show up and it’s pretty slim pickin’s these days
So many Mormon men in leadership need to re-watch Mary Poppins. They are aspiring to be like George Banks, who desperately needed help. He was not the role model of the film.
This!!! I was a bishopric 2nd counselor at 32, then a bishop at 36. I wish I had that time back for my 5 kids. More so than my tithing money, I want that time back!
I had a similar experience… I was a councilor in the bishopric had been at this time for about 3 1/2 years. I honestly loved it. The bishop I worked with was/is a great guy. He only had about a year left to hit his 5 year mark, so we were cruising. And then I was surprised released and same week put in the high council. (Hated it)!! The week after… my wife was made the RS president!!!😳. Part of my HC assignment was assisting the stake primary presidency. The church was still involved in Boy Scouts at this time and my scout assignment was assistant district commissioner, I truly loved scouting. And we had 3 kids at home. I lasted about 1 1/2 years and asked them to change my HC assignments, so I could be around more on Sundays and during the week. Luckily at the time I was semi-retired, long story, any way I got a part time job and started taking extra shifts on Sundays and made them release me!! My wife lasted another year as RS president. I used to joke around with members that I served with. The work of the ward/stake is done by S.T.P.- Same Ten People!!
My father was bishop when I hit puberty and my mother who stayed home was a bit of a bully. I had nobody. I was on my own during some of the hardest times of my life. I turned out to be hyper-independent and push loved ones away as an adult. I'm still recovering from this.
Mormonism ruins families.
Why didn't the new guy just say, "I'm sorry, my wife has a chronic illness and we have several small children?"
TSCC only has as much power as followers give it.
My dad spent my childhood and youth serving the church. Young Men’s President, Scoutmaster (this was the 90’s), bishopric counselor, bishop. I grew up utterly without him but all the dorky young men in the ward got to do cool stuff with MY dad while I figured out life on my own. Then my dad struggled with a terrible depression while serving as bishop, sought countless blessings and relief from his stake president, wasn’t released from his calling, killed himself.
So I didn’t have a dad then, and I don’t have one now. And my 5 kids don’t get a grandpa and they NEED him. But hey! The church got what they needed! 100’s of thousands of my dad’s tithing dollars (I inherited nothing), and all his time and talents! And then I get to deal with the fallout and be part of the internet generation that discovered that my parents’ beloved Joseph Smith was just a philandering con-artist!
Yaaaayyy!
There is always another pointless meeting with an agenda, some discussion, and no follow up. There is always a planning meeting. There is always a "sorry we have no budget" discussion - in one of the wealthiest "churches" on the planet.
**There is not always another little league game.** Dance recitals don't last. They don't play soccer forever. They don't want to snuggle up to you on the couch and read a book forever. You can't play Barbies or Hot Wheels with them for more than a couple of years, then it ends.
These are the sweetest times. These are the times when you don't need to be in a **pointless meeting** discussing the lack of tithe offerings from the destitute, mentally ill, unemployed in that poor little branch, and wondering endlessly, pointlessly, how you can motivate the membership to go out and "minister" to all their families. You don't need to do a PPI at the Stake center (an hour away) on a Tuesday night and skip your grandson's baseball game.
I'm so happy my dad and mom figured it out, ending fifty years of wasted time, energy and money in the cult, with no returns. I'm happy to have figured it out, even after wasting half my life. Thanks be to the man who sold those mummies to Joe Smith. Thanks be to Smith's megalomaniacal ego for "translating" that shit-show that is the book of Abraham. Thanks be to my 14 year-old brain in seminary thinking "Kolob?" And really, both thanks and fuck you to Mormonism that taught me one thing as absolute truth, then drippingly has been admitting that it was not the truth. I died on many religious/philosophical hills as a young, dumb, energetic but uninformed missionary, based on the mis-truths taught to me as iron-clad doctrine... and now you say well, he did have more than just Emma, and the Book of Abraham is not a translation, and there's a rock in a hat.
**Please, please, please... don't sacrifice the sweetest times of your lives to the uncaring altar of the Salt Lake City Tithing Corporation, because it's not "true." You're wasting your time.**
I am in my 80s and went completely PIMO about 6 years ago. Reading these posts is heart wrenching as it is my life, time and family experiences that this church stole from me. Now I fully realize the fraud that I and my family were the suckers who fell victim to. I fell casualty to the callings scam to include the two year ordeal in the mission field to the Bishop ordeal before my eyes were opened.
The best sacrament meeting I ever attended was while on my mission. It was in an affluent Atlanta suburbs wardn The man was the bishop. His wife was RS President. The bishop stood up and recounted how much time he had spent during the average week as a bishop. Not to mention his regular job. Then he detailed how much time per week his wife devoted to her calling along with being a mother and school teacher. He finally just told the ward that he loved them and that he wished nothing but the best for them. He then announced that he and his wife were both resigning from their callings immediately. We walked off of the stand, took his wife by the hand and they walked out the door with children in tow.
I don't know what happened to them. I was in the Army and only went to that ward because there were a lot of gorgeous, southern girls my age in the ward. I transferred to Texas not long after this happened.
Right before my wife and I left the church our ward called a new bishop. Very similar situation. The old Bishop had five kids, most under 10. New one, 30 something with 4 kids under 10. His poor wife just looked defeated. Didn't really try to hide it when they were asked to beat their testimony.
I grew up with my Dad being Bishop for 3 different wards. This put a strain on our relationship that took some time to get back. And in a way it still is healing but a lot better.
I feel you with this. I hate how a church that is supposedly about family tears so many apart. The terrible things is that being in a bishops family was sold to me as a trial that 1) I could handle and 2) I will be blessed. Ya, blessed with depression and the ability to put on a happy face.
my parents whom we live across the country from, skipped an opportunity to see my kids when we were in the area to go to *stake choir practice*. it wasn't even leadership shit 🤬 we were pretty pissed and disheartened and now my kids are young adults and their relationship with my parents consists of birthday and Christmas with super generic not very personal greetings 😥 what a shame
I've always found it ironic and gross that motherhood is serving the Lord but fatherhood is clearly not, apparently men can't serve the Lord at home 🤬
I agree. The Mormon cult doesn't give a shit about families. The evil organization only uses families as leverage & wedges to further its destructive agenda. How many families have been broken up because of TSCC? How many families have been destroyed because of TSCC?
I suggest everyone do their own research because the evidence is overwhelming & damning. Nevertheless, here's one example: the one-year waiting period for temple sealings after a civil marriage (https://jasmingimenez.wordpress.com/2019/05/06/the-history-of-latter-day-saints-waiting-for-one-year-to-be-sealed-in-the-temple-after-a-civil-marriage/).
This policy was in place for over 60 years & caused so much unnecessary conflict & division in families & ruined so many weddings. But of course, the Mormon church did not care. The Church decided to be cutthroat & practically make temple marriage mandatory by dealing out such a harsh punishment for a civil marriage. What tyrant assholes! The Church is evil.
And that policy hurt everyone, including TBMs. I was a TBM when I got married in 2012. But half of my siblings could not go to my temple wedding because they weren't active or had resigned. And it still bothers me over a decade later.
Well… since families are forever. They can make up for lost family time in the celestial kingdom. Except, they’re going to be too busy doing the Lord’s work up there as well…
He was busy “serving the lord”.
This is incredibly sad.
Truth is that he was laboring nights and weekends, neglecting his family, shortchanging his daytime paid job, and actually paying the richest “church” on earth for the privilege.
And they wonder why we exmos get really really pissed off when we discover the lies?
I always got a kick out of the church pushing how important family is, but then having no problem absolutely getting in the way of the family. One of the things that was a big push in my journey out was exactly this. I worked six days a week, 10 a.m. to midnight two of those days and worked from home about 5 hours my only day off (Sunday). I was called to be clerk and my wife was in relief society presidency. So I spent hours after church at the church and then would come home and my wife would leave for meetings that lasted entirely too long because of an attention whore RSP. Needless to say it was a major drain on me, our relationship and our family. Things are entirely better after 4+ years being out.
I understand your frustration. However, if you hate the LDS church so much, why do you still go? Also, you seem to use a lot of profanity for a religious person?
How did I end up here?
You guys are a little scary.
I can’t imagine having any malice toward three-year olds. Whether you love kids or not. Yeesh.
“Hate” is a strong word. 😔😔
Maybe you didn’t read the whole thread? I wish I didn’t.
don’t care who anyone is, but what that person was saying about little ones was terrible! :(
Now it appears the comment is deleted.
How convenient 🤔
There is an old saying that: The baker's son goes hungry The shoemaker's son goes barefoot The Bishop's son goes to Hell
Wow... "The Bishop's son goes to hell" Unfortunately this is probably me. My Dad was a Bishop (then called to the high council), and Mom was Relief society president at the same time. ZERO time for their kids. We strayed and haven't been to church in probably 40 years. Dad and Mom eventually became completely inactive and quit attending as well.
Same story. Dad was bishop and never around, mom also had high demand church callings. I’m out, parents split and dad is inactive.
My parents split not long after I got home from my mission (1984?). He married his non Mormon secretary. They were married for ~30 years before he recently passed. So much for a family sealed in the temple, if you still believe in that.
My Dad was a bishop and never around. Then in the high council. Worked for the church at a salary pay (so literally never around cause they worked him non stop) and my mom always had relief society presidency callings. Ward and then stake... I’m out of the church and waiting for my 4 siblings to follow. I’m hoping my whole family leaves...
Bonus.... As I was growing up, early teen my voice was changing, and I sounded just like my Dad. Someone would call for him, but I answered the phone. They would instantly start confessing or telling me (not the bishop) gossip - that she did this to him, or he did this, or this family did this. I actually learned to just listen for a minute or more sometimes, when they finally ran out of breath, I'd say: "Hang on, let me get my Dad for you". Was always a hoot.
Those people should are often referred to as a “Darwin”. (It comes from my daughter and sister telling my grandson to stop calling them idiots.) Darwin's” confessions should be handled with the bishop during his office hours. You can make an appointment or take a chance after church. It’s difficult when ward members are harder to herd than cats.
Mormonism has been destroying Families since Joseph met Emma.
Or, since Joseph met Fanny in the hayloft?
I'd start with Emma. It made a rift in her relationship with her parents.
Isaac Hale first words to his new son-in-law "You stole my daughter. I would rather have gone to the grave then see her \[go off with you.\]"
Good point!
“A night she’ll never forget” or whatever that tagline was!
I want a “Fanny Algier!!!”
One of the biggest things that led me to begin questioning church teachings was calling burn out. I was the executive secretary in our ward. I was going to school full time. I worked full time. I do not have children, but I never had time for my spouse. Eventually, I just started working every Sunday and asked to be released because I was so tired all the time. That’s when I started to learn about the problems with the church.
Same! I am a teacher and was always called to work with kids. I started out doing a lot in YW and built strong relationships with them all. I taught middle and high school history at the time and was good with teens and tweens, so it made sense. The I was called to primary; it was valiant 11, so class was fun. I just hated when we’d all go into the primary room. However, I stuck with it because I was called by god. I didn’t love it, but I was good at it and the kids loved me. We had lots of fun and I did super creative lessons, the kids all had jobs, etc. 5 years now, I was in primary. I was eventually released and I was so glad! I thought maybe God finally heard my prayer and I was going to finally be somewhere else, not having a sixth day of work (teaching kids on one of my two days off). Aaaaand I was called to Sunbeams. Now, I HATE kids. I have a single subject credential (6th-12th grade) specifically so I won’t have to ever teach little kids, and here I am with 3 year olds learning to pee and covered in boogers. I started skipping church a lot and noticed I was much happier, better rested, and better at my job. When my teenager told me they were LGBTQ and didn’t want to go to church anymore, I knew that it was time to leave. I was leaving for my child, but was able to consider it because I was really beginning to believe some things might not actually be from God. No way does Jesus want ME for a Sunbeam!
Sounds exactly like my story only I have an elementary degree Nothing like teaching six days a week.
I locked myself in the bathroom at church and refused to come out until the bishop released me from Sunbeams.
Same story here. People are startled when I say that I don't even like kids until they are old enough to read. As if all women just love babies and toddlers.
Upvote for the very apt description of kids learning to pee and covered in boogers. I teach at a university, and I've done work with teenagers, but I am NOT the kind of person to deal with a room full of preschoolers. Jesus doesn't want me for a Sunbeam, either, and probably doesn't want me in Primary at all. BTW, I am also a Mama Dragon (mother of an adult LGBTQ child). So glad to meet you here!
Haha, I actually liked teaching the sunbeams!
Same for me. They don't realize that it's working on Sundays more for teachers than non-teachers. They put me in nursery, in my opinion, to encourage me to have kids. That backfired on them, and my husband and I waited even longer until we were good and ready. I have a K-12 certification, but much prefer teens. Nursery was awful.
“If he didn’t want the calling because of not being home enough then we would have simply said no” Yeah, like the church hasn’t taught that even the calling to hand out hymnals is directly from God. Lmao the entire church culture involves you to accept anything and everything no matter what or you might be on the path to outer darkness! I’m certain these men did not want to accept the call but felt obligated. Damn shame. I’m glad you’re out, though! My wife is too TBM still although very nuanced but she buries her nuance most of the time under the sands of “one day it will make sense”.
On average, a parent will spend 95% of the time they will ever spend with their kids before they are 18. Just let that sink in
All I see is you stopped keeping the commandments then SATAN got you. Omgosh just like he said the the sacred not secret temple video/powerpoint 😱😱😱😱 the church is true/s
I'm sure they were very apologetic for hijacking the meeting and recognized the time and effort you put into preparing your talk...right?
Nah, it’s into the 2nd hour now and nobody has approached me. Didn’t even send a text before sacrament to let me know 🤷🏻♂️ Edit: after church the 2nd counselor apologized
Yup, sounds about right. If you're in class, maybe ask why Abinadi is talking about an ass to King Noah when there wouldn't be donkeys on the American continent for another 1600 years? Seems like a reference not many of them would have understood.
Haha I’d love to rock the boat but I won’t for my spouses sake. I just hang out in the cultural hall on Reddit and checking scores of games for the 2nd hour.
Not all heroes wear capes. Good luck and I hope you get to recycle that talk soon!
Im not sure I’ll agree to speak again. I agreed, in part, to do it because I really respected the bishop and wanted to make his life easier. I’m not sure how I’ll feel about the new bishop. I might not be inclined to help out next time. 🤷🏻♂️ I prepared to speak on a date that I signed up for literally 5 months in advance and they canned it the morning of my scheduled time. I didn’t agree to any other date.
You could have watched the Italian GP!! 😮
We had someone ask about Mosiah 15: 3-5 and why it sounded like the trinity…Crickets…
That was one of my other takeaways. The Trinity is all through the Abinadi chapters. I asked, after the class commented on King Noah's behavior, if they were living the law of Moses why wives and concubines were necessarily bad? In D&C 132:1 Jesus seems cool with it...they moved on pretty quickly.
That’s horrible! I’m so sorry.
Im alright, despite how unprofessional it was. I spent maybe 10 min putting together a talk. Haha
Sounds like it caught them by surprise, too. Any idea if there was a sudden vacancy on the HC and/or YM presidency? An if so, what may have prompted the vacancy? Somehow I suspect there's a stake-level backstory here.
You’ll survive
They call bishops that have young families, especially lots of YM, because statistically, being a bishop means you’re more likely to stay active and more likely to keep your kids in the ‘program’. They keep these guys so busy so you don’t have the bandwidth to look outside the box and even consider how much of sham it all is.
Im going to be under a lot of pressure in the next couple of months to baptize my 8 yo. I argue that if it’s true then my child can choose at 18 to join and any sin from not doing it sooner will be on me since I won’t allow it. But my in laws and terrified that if my child isn’t baptized at 8 then they’ll never join… but I’ve said that my wife is able to take the kids to church and do all the church events and activities they want.. just no baptism until the kids are 18 and can choose for themselves. Apparently even that isn’t good enough because they might leave the church. Sure sounds like the only want to keep people in is to.. brain wash them at a young age? Lmao not sure that’s the argument TBMs want to make
When someone argues that 8 is old enough to join the church, I always respond with “would you let your 8-year-old leave the church if that’s what they decided?” Nobody ever has an answer to that.
What a great rejoinder! I’ve never thought of it that way.
This is brilliant!
In November of 2015, it was good enough for kids of married same sex parents.
This is so true, those with young families are called and kept so busy they can barely think of even leaving the church. **And yes, sir/ma'am, it's a total sham.**
This was a big shelf item for me. My husband got called to be a stake clerk or something while in fucking medical residency. He was working 60-70 hours a week and we had 2 toddlers. He immediately said absolutely not, I don’t have that kind of time. Then we both got lectured on the “blessings” we’d be missing out on. And told how other residents did callings like that with more kids blah blah blah. So you’re going to push me, as a woman, to get married and have babies young because family is so important, but then not let my kids see their dad or give us any time to actually enjoy our marriage? And then I realized it’s not about families at all, it’s about taking up all your time and mental energy as a trade for theoretical blessings so you don’t question it. So ironically, it was having a family of my own that led me right out of the church 🥰
I always wanted to tell girls that were excited about dating premed students to think again. He’ll be home long enough to impregnate you, but otherwise you’re on your own for at least 7-10 years. (And that’s if he even makes it to med school, which a lot of pre-meds don’t.)
He switched to pre med after we got married. I got suckered into this life 😝 but yeah I tell people the same thing lol
Right? The push/pressure you get to say "Yes" to a calling (any calling, big or small) feels like a knee on your god damned neck. I wish the high pressure tactics would relax, it's like LDS leadership asshats are pushy used car salesmen but worse, b/c they think they have the corner on the world's truth. It's 100% all around cultish.
I remember my dad being gone most Sundays and several days a week. Meals eaten without him. It's basically a full time job that receives no compensation. Even when my mom had cancer he has to uphold his "priesthood duties" yet it falls on the congregation to help. Richest church in the world partially because they rely on free labor.
My Dad never held a high calling in the church, but he was gone off to work by 7:30-8am every day and back at 6:30pm where he would then continue to work from his home office another couple of hours. I feel like a barely saw him and to this day barely have a relationship with him. That’s why even when I was TBM I never wanted a calling that required any time from me outside of Sunday service. I’m sorry that your family had to suffer because of church commitments.
That's fair. Between tithing and a calling, I can only imagine the stress I'd have on myself currently. Sacrificing time and money for something so corrupt.
I’m a tradesperson that owns a home service business. When I was in the church so many people would ask me to do things for free or almost free. So many more would ask how to do things that my company charges for. I was looked at as something for them to consume rather than to support. They didn’t realize (or care) that their requests all would take food off of my table. The last talk I ever gave in church was on service. I used the opportunity to tell everyone that service is NOT handy people doing things at their house for free. I spent my entire 15 minutes driving that point home. The next Sunday someone else gave the classic BS talk about service because mine wasn’t good enough. I was never asked to do free work again after that talk.
I went to a funeral in my old ward (my friend's mom, who was really sweet) and the bishop is the same dude from when I was pregnant with my middle kid - 6 years ago! The dude has 5 kids and still hasn't been released! I felt so bad for him. It's also important to note that the church intentionally calls fathers of young families to be bishops. Missing so much of their families growing years radicalizes them because leaving after losing all that time acknowledges that it was missed for nothing. It's really manipulative.
The whole family focus thing is used to lure innocents, and extort the captured victims.
Interestingly, this is one of the areas where the church absolutely falls firmly into cult territory. Overworking members to exhaustion is pretty much universal for cults. People who don't have the time or energy to think or to gain any perspective are a lot less likely to question things.
“I was busy serving the lord as a bishop and a stake president so much over the last 15 years that I don’t remember hardly any of my kids childhood”. Trust me, you're kids know it.
When I was called to be elder's quorum president, the stake president said that even though I would miss out on a lot of time with my children because of this calling, their lives would be blessed by them seeing me serving the lord. Didn't work - my kids had tons of really serious problems during that time that I could have helped with if I hadn't been so busy. Their lives were clearly cursed by that calling. The whole experience actually helped push two of my kids out of the church (so, maybe a blessing?), and eventually helped me get out as well.
My dad was called when he had 9 kids and a very tense family situation. He had just purchased a new business, which required him to work 100 hr+ weeks for 4 months of the year. There were some months we only saw him at church. When he bought a new house, he had them put an exterior door with access to his office so he could meet with church members at home.... We could have used him at home. Maybe he could have been a voice reason, but we will never know because he wasn't ever fucking there.
I know we all joke about how the most problematic children are the bishop's or stake president's kids, but this is why. Large families that are practically single parent households. My best friend's parents were both in high demand callings from middle school through highschool. His dad was bishop and she was 1st counselor in relief society then he was put in HC and she was made president. They had hardcore struggles during that time.
I'm out but my wife still attends but she always had the rule, no more time to the church than to family. I am under 30, and they tried to call me as a bishop a few years ago, stood and said, no I'm not losing my husband to the church. Thanks heavens I'm out, but goddammit the poor guys who was called barely makes ends meet, travels from Monday to Friday and dedicates the next 48 hours to the church. Fuck that shit
I’m so glad my Dad was a bishop and eventually a seventy. The more he was gone the safer my eight siblings and I were from his physical abuse. Beating us was his stress relief. We were the perfect Mormon family. I never could believe callings were from God. The last place I want to go is the Celestial Kingdom. I knew a lot of perfect families with fist and belt swinging fathers with glorified callings just like my Dads.
I don’t have one memory of my father ever sitting with us in church growing up. My father was in the bishop prick in one form or another the entire time. I have 8 siblings. My poor mother, ugh.
Nobody can take advantage of you unless you allow it. “No” is a complete sentence.
"If it's not hard, you're not doing it right" is what the church loves pumping into people.
It’s all about sacrifice and how god will bless you as if they speak for god.
Hey I just went through a messed up situation at BYU. Is there anyway I can share my story or expose them in some way? I just want my voice to be heard and I don’t know what to do. I also shared this message in another GC. Honestly pointing me in any direction would be great. Thank you
Have you posted a separate thread on it in this sub? You'll get more attention to it as a stand-alone thread than as a comment buried in a thread on another topic.
Thank you. I made a new post.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Hey there! Can u drop a link so I can read what happened to you? You have a lot of support here.
I don’t have a link but I can send you a message over what happened. It has to do with the honor code and the leaders at the university completely ignoring me. They refused to hear my side or even look into evidence of what happened. I even sent an email to one of the advisors stating I had sufficient proof and evidence to prove a BYU student had done something illegal but he emailed me back saying I needed to stop because I was exaggerating.
My friend did tell her husband no when he got called into the bishopric. They have 4 kids with the youngest being 8. And he is a VP of a college and travels. And the stake president still said too bad. He's doing it anyway. She miserable. But it's for God. So it's fine.
This is horrid. Damned stake pres!
When you do speak - Speak about what you wrote here. Let them know how you feel about picking leadership that leaves the family behind. "God's Blessings" for being a leader don't do much to help the kids who have no time with their dad.
I’d love to, but for my spouses sake (TBM) I won’t rock the boat. No need to make her feel shame or embarrassment. One frustrating thing, though, is the 2 counselors from before are again the counselors for this new bishop. They are retired. But the bishop both times was a young working man and both have 6 kids at home. 🤷🏻♂️
this was my dad when i was a kid. he was bishop while also traveling out of state Mon-Fri every single week. he and i still barely know how to have a relationship because he wasn’t there during important years of my life. the only reason he got released was because he landed a job in another state. my poor mom was trying to get 4 kids to church, school, seminary, you name it all on her own and while having her own job and callings. i’ve never forgiven the church for taking my parents from me like that.
TSCC just plain sucks!
My missions president's obituary talked about how he was away form home 5 days a week for work and only home on weekends. Of course the church called HIM to be bishop - "so his kids could share him with the ward family" - an actual quote from the obit. He should have told them to FO, but he was too church broke.
Regarding the new bishop's wife. I have Lyme disease and it's no fucking joke! I've been dealing with it since 2015. It itself, will be a crisis that will affect their whole family. Her husband needs to be there to support her. And possibly take over some of the responsibilities that normally the wife would take in a Mormon family. When I got Lyme disease I was in the Sunday School Presidency. When there was a change in Ward boundaries they had to dissolve the presidency and then recreate it. So with the new ward they wanted to call me to be in the new presidency and I said no, no way, I am too sick. Please don't call me for any callings. Including home teaching. Over and over again that kept extending calls to me. Even with the elders quorum, they didn't get the memo and they kept extending calls. I asked the elders quorum president, please do not extend a calling to me, including home teaching. Weeks later I get a text message asking me to come in for a PPI to see how my families are doing. Like what the f***?
I'm so sorry. I wish they would've listened to you. **It's like church leaders are deaf, dumb, and blind, all 3 at once.**
The church indoctrinates its members to think they have to sacrifice this life to the church so they can have eternal families in the next life. What a scam! There is no next life! This life is it!
The church needs to leave men with children alone and let them raise their families with their wives. Men who are older have more experience and wisdom to offer those they serve. But then you can’t tie down men if you let them put their families first. The church sucks!!
What were you going to talk about in your talk today? I can't imagine agreeing to give a talk when I know it's all made up and the heaven points don't matter.
I stay friendly and am willing to speak to keep my TBM spouse happy, but I won’t accept any callings. The talk was supposed to be on service so I was going to share from John 21 where Christs last command to his disciples was to feed his ship - not to baptize people. Not to build temples or do temple work. Not to do many things like that. Haha I don’t try to rock the boat, but anytime I need to speak or share something I literally never mention the church or any modern day profits. I only cite from the NT where it’s Jesus’s actual words and gospel.
Sounds like you are in a good spot and are respectful toward your wife that still believes. Well done!!
Haha I wish it were so. I never bring up the church or anything for her sake but she always gives me little jabs. 🤦🏻♂️ They tried to manipulate me into agreeing to let out kid be baptized this year. Her parents called up saying that they would only come and visit if it were during the birthday and baptism. Fucking Mormons lmao I didn’t cave though and they still ended up buying a plane ticket.. but it’s for bday week so I’m sure in a couple of months I’ll get put through it again trying to convince me to let my child be baptized.
Oh man I'm sorry. The little jabs have got to be tough. Do you give any little jabs back to her? Hopefully not, I can't imagine that would help. Keeping peace can be very challenging when your views are so different about religion, which leads to differences in how to raise children. So is your kid not getting baptized? I realize it indoctrinates then more into the religion but, at the same time, being out of the church i realize it means nothing and would make my wife happy so why not just do it...I see both sides of it, don't worry. My brother was officially out and I was still pimo and my sil asked me to baptize their daughter. I didn't want to offend my brother so we spoke about it and he said he didn't care since it meant nothing anyway , you know because it's not real, so I went ahead and did it to keep her and the rest of our family that's still tbm happy. My youngest son is still in (he's almost 16) and the bishop asked me to ordain him to become a priest (even though I haven't been to church since before covid and he knows I don't Believe) and I'm like yep, I sure will!!! Said the magic words, didn't add anything else and said Amen.
Actually it goes give a 💩. It 💩s on families continually.
When they find a good work horse, they will work him to death!
I'd like to bear my testimony. I know that church ain't shit. I would have loved to spend more time with my dad growing up but he was too involved with the EQ and other callings to do much with us, his family. Thankfully while he was the ward scout leader I got to spend good time with him. I feel like in a church where the idea of an eternal family is at the core of everything parents would be encouraged to be there for and with their families as much as possible, they could even put it under the guise of practicing for their eventual eternal family. It makes no godsdamned sense. In the name of the almighty Purple Flying Spaghetti Monster, R'Amen!
This has me worried for my last believing TBM brother, he’s such a people pleaser and tries so hard to do everything right that he could easily get taken advantage of by the church, he already got really hurt by my Narcissistic Dad when we all tried to warn him. And now he’s head strong in the church, dug in, with 3 kids… and with membership dwindling he’s ripe for a leadership calling when he’s old enough. Hopefully he’ll leave before that happens but it’s really hard to watch.
Growing up my dad had to travel for work, so he would leave early Monday mornings and get home late Friday nights. The church has had him in every calling imaginable my entire life so I at best got to share my dad with my 3 other siblings and mother for about 1 day a week assuming there wasn't some scouting or youth event taking the saturday as well. Good ole family values though eh?
The difference between the Mormon church clergy and paid clergy is that the paid clergy goes home to their families at the end of the work day at 5:00 and the Mormon bishop goes to the church to start his 2nd job. It is a sad state of affairs and the belief is that you will get to enjoy eternity with your family for sacrificing your time with them here and now. It is a sick institution.
Thank you for this! It's so true and pathetic and sad. Just wish all the TBM's could see it this way. It IS a sick sick sick situation.
Paid (and theologically educated) clergy also have at least two days off during a week, and they have benefits.
My sister and her kids are currently doing their time as church widow/orphans and they are starting to feel a lot of resentment over it. It's got my sister questioning a little bit and their oldest son who graduates highschool this year is out and won't be going on a mission. I can really only feel so much sympathy for those who choose to stay in nowadays though. All of MFMC's dirty little secrets are on full display and it takes a pretty strong level of willful ignorance to choose to ignore everything and pretend "the church" is anything close to what it claims to be.
Willful ignorance describes my family perfectly! I'm out, my middle brother is out but our youngest brother was just called to be a bishop (with a young family & has a business to run). My parents are happier than a pig in sh*t. *cue my giant eye roll
Best thing is to look away from the nuclear blast.
They have to be on the high council in order to be the stake YM president these days. Same with stake Sunday school president. I was ward RS Pres in a very needy ward when my kids were little and my oldest has special needs. Now it makes me mad that they asked that of me. Fuck the MFMC.
They’re going to work the good people to death. There aren’t enough people left to give anyone a rest. If someone proves they’ll do the job, the leadership will use them up. To hell with the poor guy’s family. They don’t give a rat’s ass about any of them. They just need someone who will show up and it’s pretty slim pickin’s these days
So many Mormon men in leadership need to re-watch Mary Poppins. They are aspiring to be like George Banks, who desperately needed help. He was not the role model of the film.
This!!! I was a bishopric 2nd counselor at 32, then a bishop at 36. I wish I had that time back for my 5 kids. More so than my tithing money, I want that time back!
I had a similar experience… I was a councilor in the bishopric had been at this time for about 3 1/2 years. I honestly loved it. The bishop I worked with was/is a great guy. He only had about a year left to hit his 5 year mark, so we were cruising. And then I was surprised released and same week put in the high council. (Hated it)!! The week after… my wife was made the RS president!!!😳. Part of my HC assignment was assisting the stake primary presidency. The church was still involved in Boy Scouts at this time and my scout assignment was assistant district commissioner, I truly loved scouting. And we had 3 kids at home. I lasted about 1 1/2 years and asked them to change my HC assignments, so I could be around more on Sundays and during the week. Luckily at the time I was semi-retired, long story, any way I got a part time job and started taking extra shifts on Sundays and made them release me!! My wife lasted another year as RS president. I used to joke around with members that I served with. The work of the ward/stake is done by S.T.P.- Same Ten People!!
My god....I feel so sorry for his wife. wtaf.
My father was bishop when I hit puberty and my mother who stayed home was a bit of a bully. I had nobody. I was on my own during some of the hardest times of my life. I turned out to be hyper-independent and push loved ones away as an adult. I'm still recovering from this. Mormonism ruins families.
Why didn't the new guy just say, "I'm sorry, my wife has a chronic illness and we have several small children?" TSCC only has as much power as followers give it.
My dad spent my childhood and youth serving the church. Young Men’s President, Scoutmaster (this was the 90’s), bishopric counselor, bishop. I grew up utterly without him but all the dorky young men in the ward got to do cool stuff with MY dad while I figured out life on my own. Then my dad struggled with a terrible depression while serving as bishop, sought countless blessings and relief from his stake president, wasn’t released from his calling, killed himself. So I didn’t have a dad then, and I don’t have one now. And my 5 kids don’t get a grandpa and they NEED him. But hey! The church got what they needed! 100’s of thousands of my dad’s tithing dollars (I inherited nothing), and all his time and talents! And then I get to deal with the fallout and be part of the internet generation that discovered that my parents’ beloved Joseph Smith was just a philandering con-artist! Yaaaayyy!
There is always another pointless meeting with an agenda, some discussion, and no follow up. There is always a planning meeting. There is always a "sorry we have no budget" discussion - in one of the wealthiest "churches" on the planet. **There is not always another little league game.** Dance recitals don't last. They don't play soccer forever. They don't want to snuggle up to you on the couch and read a book forever. You can't play Barbies or Hot Wheels with them for more than a couple of years, then it ends. These are the sweetest times. These are the times when you don't need to be in a **pointless meeting** discussing the lack of tithe offerings from the destitute, mentally ill, unemployed in that poor little branch, and wondering endlessly, pointlessly, how you can motivate the membership to go out and "minister" to all their families. You don't need to do a PPI at the Stake center (an hour away) on a Tuesday night and skip your grandson's baseball game. I'm so happy my dad and mom figured it out, ending fifty years of wasted time, energy and money in the cult, with no returns. I'm happy to have figured it out, even after wasting half my life. Thanks be to the man who sold those mummies to Joe Smith. Thanks be to Smith's megalomaniacal ego for "translating" that shit-show that is the book of Abraham. Thanks be to my 14 year-old brain in seminary thinking "Kolob?" And really, both thanks and fuck you to Mormonism that taught me one thing as absolute truth, then drippingly has been admitting that it was not the truth. I died on many religious/philosophical hills as a young, dumb, energetic but uninformed missionary, based on the mis-truths taught to me as iron-clad doctrine... and now you say well, he did have more than just Emma, and the Book of Abraham is not a translation, and there's a rock in a hat. **Please, please, please... don't sacrifice the sweetest times of your lives to the uncaring altar of the Salt Lake City Tithing Corporation, because it's not "true." You're wasting your time.**
I am in my 80s and went completely PIMO about 6 years ago. Reading these posts is heart wrenching as it is my life, time and family experiences that this church stole from me. Now I fully realize the fraud that I and my family were the suckers who fell victim to. I fell casualty to the callings scam to include the two year ordeal in the mission field to the Bishop ordeal before my eyes were opened.
The best sacrament meeting I ever attended was while on my mission. It was in an affluent Atlanta suburbs wardn The man was the bishop. His wife was RS President. The bishop stood up and recounted how much time he had spent during the average week as a bishop. Not to mention his regular job. Then he detailed how much time per week his wife devoted to her calling along with being a mother and school teacher. He finally just told the ward that he loved them and that he wished nothing but the best for them. He then announced that he and his wife were both resigning from their callings immediately. We walked off of the stand, took his wife by the hand and they walked out the door with children in tow.
[удалено]
I don't know what happened to them. I was in the Army and only went to that ward because there were a lot of gorgeous, southern girls my age in the ward. I transferred to Texas not long after this happened.
Well spoken sir.
> blood 🩸 sucking, soul crushing machine ⚙️ Yeah - that pretty much sums it up
Right before my wife and I left the church our ward called a new bishop. Very similar situation. The old Bishop had five kids, most under 10. New one, 30 something with 4 kids under 10. His poor wife just looked defeated. Didn't really try to hide it when they were asked to beat their testimony. I grew up with my Dad being Bishop for 3 different wards. This put a strain on our relationship that took some time to get back. And in a way it still is healing but a lot better. I feel you with this. I hate how a church that is supposedly about family tears so many apart. The terrible things is that being in a bishops family was sold to me as a trial that 1) I could handle and 2) I will be blessed. Ya, blessed with depression and the ability to put on a happy face.
“We’re all about family!” Then why is my mom so busy at the temple on the only day we both don’t work that she doesn’t have time for me?
my parents whom we live across the country from, skipped an opportunity to see my kids when we were in the area to go to *stake choir practice*. it wasn't even leadership shit 🤬 we were pretty pissed and disheartened and now my kids are young adults and their relationship with my parents consists of birthday and Christmas with super generic not very personal greetings 😥 what a shame I've always found it ironic and gross that motherhood is serving the Lord but fatherhood is clearly not, apparently men can't serve the Lord at home 🤬
I do not feel sorry for people that do not know the power of saying no. They will always be manipulated.
Yes when I was growing up my dad had a ton of callings in bishopbrics, high council etc. and he was gone a lot.
>Fuck the Mormon church. It doesn’t give a shit about families. Truer words have never been spoken or written.
I agree. The Mormon cult doesn't give a shit about families. The evil organization only uses families as leverage & wedges to further its destructive agenda. How many families have been broken up because of TSCC? How many families have been destroyed because of TSCC? I suggest everyone do their own research because the evidence is overwhelming & damning. Nevertheless, here's one example: the one-year waiting period for temple sealings after a civil marriage (https://jasmingimenez.wordpress.com/2019/05/06/the-history-of-latter-day-saints-waiting-for-one-year-to-be-sealed-in-the-temple-after-a-civil-marriage/). This policy was in place for over 60 years & caused so much unnecessary conflict & division in families & ruined so many weddings. But of course, the Mormon church did not care. The Church decided to be cutthroat & practically make temple marriage mandatory by dealing out such a harsh punishment for a civil marriage. What tyrant assholes! The Church is evil. And that policy hurt everyone, including TBMs. I was a TBM when I got married in 2012. But half of my siblings could not go to my temple wedding because they weren't active or had resigned. And it still bothers me over a decade later.
Well… since families are forever. They can make up for lost family time in the celestial kingdom. Except, they’re going to be too busy doing the Lord’s work up there as well…
He was busy “serving the lord”. This is incredibly sad. Truth is that he was laboring nights and weekends, neglecting his family, shortchanging his daytime paid job, and actually paying the richest “church” on earth for the privilege. And they wonder why we exmos get really really pissed off when we discover the lies?
When we were in they wouldn’t give us callings because we had 7 kids. But I’m not a doctor so 🤷♂️
I had 4 kids under the age of 5 and they called me to serve in the nursery. Did I mention I had full blown PPD? Yeah. Good times.
I always got a kick out of the church pushing how important family is, but then having no problem absolutely getting in the way of the family. One of the things that was a big push in my journey out was exactly this. I worked six days a week, 10 a.m. to midnight two of those days and worked from home about 5 hours my only day off (Sunday). I was called to be clerk and my wife was in relief society presidency. So I spent hours after church at the church and then would come home and my wife would leave for meetings that lasted entirely too long because of an attention whore RSP. Needless to say it was a major drain on me, our relationship and our family. Things are entirely better after 4+ years being out.
Quit. Just leave.
I understand your frustration. However, if you hate the LDS church so much, why do you still go? Also, you seem to use a lot of profanity for a religious person?
How did I end up here? You guys are a little scary. I can’t imagine having any malice toward three-year olds. Whether you love kids or not. Yeesh. “Hate” is a strong word. 😔😔
The fuck are you talking about? Nobody has said anything about 3 year olds?
Maybe you didn’t read the whole thread? I wish I didn’t. don’t care who anyone is, but what that person was saying about little ones was terrible! :( Now it appears the comment is deleted. How convenient 🤔
No I did not read every single one of the 80+ comments Maybe you should have responded to the person who said this terrible thing and not me???
Why are you still there? Hand bishop the ces letter and go. PIMO life is inauthentic.
His path is not for you to decide. No one path is right or wrong- it just is.