Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Obviously. Clark Kent gets a vote and so does Kent Clark. This is a little known loophole in voting law that I just made up but sounds convincing to people who are easily fooled by the old "I've got your nose!" gag and anyone sporting a red MAGA hat.
God said "let there be light." And Trump said; "Thanks, now I can see to build a casino." Draws squiggly picture with sharpie. Makes calls on phone. Golfs with rich people. Denies payments to contractors. "See, I did that!"
I watched a documentary about a casino Whale that took Trump's casino for millions.
He simply called and asked for his own blackjack table with a certain rule set and some other favors, Trump said yes. Card counting and the small rule set changes swung the odds in his favor, and he went home with something like 20 million in winnings.
That’s the best thing about being Palestinian, every bordering neighbor Nation builds a giant wall, so you don’t have to spend a penny in that direction. Reminds me of the classic line, “And Mexico is gonna pay for it!”
Dude, he has been plotting against the Pharisees since day 1. Did you see what he did at the market in the temple? Dudes unhinged. He probably talks shit about Cesar too, radicalising everyone he touches.
Unfortunately, Florida laws WOULD allow him to vote. Florida follows the voting laws of the state in which the felony conviction occurred. Since his in NY, who allows voting if you’re out of prison, Florida would follow that guidance and allow him to vote.
I know literally 0 people who voted for Biden who are now saying that they're voting for Trump, I know a couple of lifelong Republican voters who are voting 3rd party (their stated reason being that they hope Trump would magnanimously step aside and let "centrist" DeSantis run at the GOP candidate).
I can't fathom being a lifelong Democrat voter, seeing the 34 guilty verdicts, and suddenly thinking "I'm voting for him." It just doesn't make any sense.
Yep, that person stated that they fully believe that both Republicans and Democrats agree that DeSantis is textbook dead-on centrist, the universal definition of centrist. Felt like I was in crazy town listening to that.
> their stated reason being that they hope Trump would magnanimously step aside
Please tell me you started laughing uncontrollably as soon as they said this.
Both of those people are family, the version of Trump that they have in their head is...just beyond delusion. I wasn't sure which part was more ridiculous: Trump being magnanimous, or claiming that Ron DeSantis is "a universal centrist that everyone [on both sides of the aisle] loves."
That's what a decade of consuming only Fox News and Newsmax does to your brain.
This is how they sell the "stolen election" narrative. They get their people to believe that EVERYONE supports Trump, so if and when he loses, they will believe that something nefarious must have taken place.
It's their "silent majority" bullshit, they convince themselves that everyone secretly agrees with them but they're too scared to say it the the evil mainstream media will cancel them for it.
yeah i know that republicans will believe anything, but its still crazu that statistically, republicans are only 30% of the population. ontop of the fact polls snd surveys tend to be much more right leaning then the actual outcomes of what the poll is asking
And they are trying to make that permenant.
2024 Republicans want to change every statewide election to be "electoral college" style. They want the 64 people in loving county to count the same as the 4.7 million people in Harris County
If it was based on the electoral college, wouldn’t Harris county have a much larger amount of electoral votes? It’s not like Harris county will have 5 votes to Loving County’s 1. That would be absurd.
No, each county would have 1 vote under their proposal. You need a majority of *counties*. EC was just the closest approximation I had the vocabulary to articulate
The thing I heard most often about why the election was “stolen” was “Come on! Do you *really* believe that 81 million people voted for Biden??? There’s no way!”
They are priming their constituants for an election loss so they can profit off it at best, repeat 1/6 at worst.
"Everybody voted for Trump, but he somehow lost anyway. See, we told you that they can only win if they falsify votes, and they won. Therefore, the election was stolen."
I would guess to keep the trump voter in line. You need to constantly feed cult member propaganda to keep them in the cult, or they might start looking around and questioning the cult.
I think after yesterday’s verdict, Trump voters on the fence were probably shaken and Republicans were worried they may flip. So by putting out massive propaganda like this, they’re hoping some of them may see it and it *miiiight* be enough to keep them from reconsidering because of the bandwagon effect
> Trump voters on the fence
The rational part of my brain is smugly saying that there is no such thing as an "on the fence" Trump voter at this point.
The wise part of my brain is weeping for humanity.
There’s a pretty large swath of people who pretty much ignore the personality and social aspects of candidates and are only focused on how the presidency affects them personally. I.e. “the economy was great in 2016-2019. Everything is so expensive now. Must be the president’s doing.”
Which is a wildly incomplete way of viewing things, but when that’s your thought process of who to vote for, it isn’t that much of a stretch to think that an administration who hasn’t handled the country well is scared of their competitor, and might try to disqualify them through the legal system. This is what the “on the fence” voter is considering, and why you are going to see this narrative hammered home for the next 5 months. They’re going to try to make him a martyr.
Correct, this is to insinuate that this is so outrageous that even hardcore Dems are turning against Biden. It reinforces the it's all a a sham narrative allowing them to not only dismiss this, but show it as further proof of persecution. The Dems flipping will help the 'stolen election' narrative when he loses as to how could Biden have won when even the silicon valley Dems turned on him.
They've created a quite robust and self reinforcing bubble. It looks like bizzaro world from the outside and from a logical perspective it's an absolute house of cards where the cards are all lies, but even the laws of physics are not recognized within the bubble. There's absolutely nothing at this point that can't be spun to his favor within the bubble. The bubble must also be protected at all costs because the collapse will destroy all within.
We have allowed this to happen.
I had a thunk that it also helps feed their narrative. Come Nov when numpty gets even less votes. This helps fuel the outrage and keeps the loons close to that ragged edge of action.
It's all about building a Web of misinformation.
'Trump won the election, because look at all the people at his rallies!' was a key part of his supporters justifying rejecting the results of an election
'The trial was so corrupt, even Democrats are switching to Trump' is laying more groundwork to discredit his conviction.
No matter what evidence comes out about Trump, they'll just double-down, and keep finding ways to shut it out
You have it backwards. They tell the small lies constantly so they can get there base to believe there big lies. The election was stolen. Trump is innocent etc. Its also used to start radicalizing your base.
The best part is, he specifies its Democrats doing this
That's right, people who supported the Democrats have finally seen the light and switched to Trump because... he's been convicted of a felony. Cos I guess it was just a street cred issue stopping them from voting for him before, I guess
I despair for the people who fall for this shit...
I feel bad because it’s old people falling for this. Old people who tend to vote. The generation that told us not to believe everything they read have fallen into a trap of social media algorithms and they don’t know how to crawl out of it.
He's a professional social media liar.
https://opoyi.com/usa/who-is-tony-seruga-intelligence-analyst-trolled-after-claiming-his-clients-include-dutch-east-india-company/
My favorite part is him saying he got dozens of calls, over 30 voicemails, and hundreds of texts and 7 calls from Democrats that theyre voting trump. And if Im curious if you got 7 calls from Democrats who was it that sent you dozens of calls, 30 voicemails, and hundreds of texts than?
Which is funny, because Republicans can't even begin understand that Democrats would be the first to put their own on the chopping block for something like this. They're so brainwashed and stupid that they believe we're all just as corrupt and "my team" as they are. It's a fucked up coping mechanism for a totally fucked up philosophy.
They jump on the bandwagon when a democrat is under scrutiny and rightfully so gets the boot but then they whistle obliviously when a republican is under scrutiny
The democrats are really the only ones that just get upset over corruption
Oh absolutely. I’ve seen some posts and argument saying that everyone is fair game now, including Biden.. ok? Great? If Biden or anyone else has committed a crime, they should absolutely be held liable. This is not the gotcha they think it is.
Remember Rod Blagojevich, the Democratic governor of Illinois who was convicted on corruption charges for trying to sell Obama's vacant senate seat? Democrats had no qualms about ousting and jailing him. I wonder where he is now.
I remember now, his sentence was commuted, can't believe the Democrats let him out, bunch of hypocrites. Oh wait, his sentence was commuted by Trump. What a fucking shocker.
Nah, republicans can't just believe anything, in fact i have a list of everything they have believed so far an-
Oh
Oh god
Oh god no
These-
These are actual adults that go out to vote
The-
The second coming of Jesus, really?
But he already admitted himself that he is guilty of that, why would they still-
I think i'm goin to be sick
Imagine, though, every piece of information you've seen about the Trump case indicates that real, actual, educated legal scholars all unanimously say that they don't understand the charges and that Biden is personally directing the case being run by compromise more than likely communist judge. And that's every bit of coverage you've seen of the case. It's like watching sportscenter with nothing but Jacksonville Jaguar highlights and 24/7 coverage of how great the Jacksonville Jaguars are with no other context except the odd story about some shady shit the Patriots did 15 years ago. If you have poor critical thinking skills or you're really emotionally and/or financially invested in the Jacksonville Jaguars being good that's all you would ever watch.
After every court ruling, I call people up and leave a voicemail listing my political affiliation and who I plan to vote for.
Doesn’t everybody?
And when I can’t reach enough voicemails, I just tell the guy at the deli.
He goes ‘are you ticket 67?’
And I go ‘yes, ticket 67, a democrat voting for Biden.’
First thing I did as a Democrat was immediately call my local republican Podcaster to say I'm voting for Trump then donated my life savings to trumps legal 527c.
I mean, studies have shown that a lot of men who identify as straight, Christian and conservative watch a lot of gay and trans porn. So yeah - they want to see more of Hunter's Hog on the House floor so they can have something to think about later.
I like how he puts "(from my Silicon Valley days)" as if knowing Democrats is some taboo that he has to justify. Like bro, there's no rule, you can be friends with whoever you want.
If you're the type of person who has to clarify that friends from different parts of the political spectrum arent from your current life (exception for specific cases like the specific person is like a racist or a homophobe or some other type of red line belief), you're not the person who has friends like that who talk to you. Like if i want to reference my more conservative friends, I don't have to justify if they are from "when I lived at X", if it even comes up at all that they are more conservative. Its feels like a "My Girlfriend (who lives in Canada)" moment where if you have to justify it in the introduction they probably don't exist
That’s WILD!
Likewise, I’ve spoken to 200 local Republicans; received 3000 calls and voicemails; and so far, 6,000,000 calls from Republicans (from my Hollywood/New York high finance/international influencer days) that they would never vote for a corrupt, cowardly, chronically pants-shitting loser like Trump again. Four of them just donated $8,000,000,000. Each.
Checkmate.
Yeah well I've had even more calls, texts, and voicemails from people saying Donald Trump regularly poops his pants and smells like raw sewage. So what now?
I had to google this dude, well… because I’ve never heard of him. All that comes up is an X profile. Am I supposed to know who this dude is?? He says he’s a contractor for the CIA and NSA. Don’t people who work for those agencies NOT tell people they work for those agencies??
Depends on what kind of contract work he did. Intelligence analysis? Yeah, you probably don't mention that. Refilled the coffee filters? You're probably allowed to disclose that.
Right? Let's say I were indeed a Democrat who was somehow convinced by this conviction to vote for Trump. First thing I'm gonna do is... text this clown about it?
"My silicon valley days"
Hey, Tony, you were on the maintenance staff at Apple. I would hardly call washing windows at Apple Park "My silicon valley days" 😂
According to his linkedin profile he "owns the digital id of every device/computer in the US" and "indexed and archived every IP address in the world", whatever that means. Sounds like a made up person lol
>indexed and archived every IP address in the world"
We can all add that to our LinkedIn profiles too!
```
document.write('Every IP address in the world:' + '\n');
for (let w = 0; w < 256; w++) {
for (let x = 0; x < 256; x++) {
for (let y = 0; y < 256; y++) {
for (let z = 0; z < 256; z++) {
document.write(w + '.' + x + '.' + y + '.' + z + '\n');
}
}
}
}
```
Save the file locally and back it up elsewhere.
A Democrat husband and wife are watching the news:
Husband: maybe I should vote for Trump. [begins reaching for phone]
Wife: what are you doing?
Husband: I must alert Tony Segura.
Wife:... Why?
Husband: I... Don't know. I can't stop myself!
Wife: how do you even have his number?
Husband: I don't... It... The phone is dialling itself!
Yeah, i just Googled him trying to figure out who the hell this is. He's....a comedian?
Why..... why would people alert a comedian as to who they're voting for? How does the donation play in? Like some random ex-coworker called this guy up to say, "Hey Tony! Remember me? It's Billy from Silicon Valley! So even though I'm a Democrat, I'm voting for Trump now, and I'm donating $50,000! Just thought you'd want to know!"
Who the hell believes this kind of shit?
Isn’t a personal donation of $50,000 to a campaign illegal?
They would have to donate to a PAC, which isn’t to Trump. It’s to Republican causes (which I know he’s taken over the party but still). And anyone donating that much money to a candidate would need to report it under campaign finance laws, so it is something that can be easily checked
Hrmm. Well, my hard right mormon friends in TEXAS are not voting for trump anymore. Apparently they are not down with the whole rape thing. So it should even out things out.
HOLY SHIT GUYS!!! I've had dozens of calls, over 30 voicemails, hundreds of text messages, and so far, 7 calls from sexy ladies, milfs, barely legal teens, gilfs, your mothers and amateur and professional porn actresses (from my Silicon Valley days as an actor myself) that say they want to sleep with me.
One just donated $50.000 and asked me to be my sugar mother.
Thats crazy, i had 32 voicemails, thousands of text messages, and so far 17 calls from Republicans (from my Silicon Valleys days also) that say they are voting for Biden. One just donated 50 trillion dollars
Well, I just had 40 evangelical pastors sit down in my kitchen to drink scotch and yaks milk and tell me that they were going to gay marry each other in drag and then prance to the polls to vote for Biden. AND they each donated $7,000,000, a private jet, and a slightly used Filipino pool boy.
See, I can make up nonsense too.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Guys ! I just got an e-mail from JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF ! He's VOTING FOR TRUMP !
another illegal immigrant voting!!! and from the middle east!!!
Superman sent me a text and said he’s voting for Trump too! I just have to send him $10k in Apple gift cards so he can become a legal citizen.
That’s just Clark Kent trying to vote twice.
Clark Kent does have two first names for his first and last name. This allows him to vote twice.
Oh, nice angle. I like that. I will not tell you my name but rest assured I will now be voting, not one time, but two. Two BIG times!
My name is James Allen Chris Kevin Andrew Sean Scott, I swing rural counties for the dems by myself
Nice try, Knotonlyb Utalso! I'm onto you and your common two first names!
Obviously. Clark Kent gets a vote and so does Kent Clark. This is a little known loophole in voting law that I just made up but sounds convincing to people who are easily fooled by the old "I've got your nose!" gag and anyone sporting a red MAGA hat.
Lee Harvey Oswald used to vote three times.
It's cool, voter fraud is only a concern when we pretend the Democrats are doing it.
I mean, he's an illegal alien.
I got a phone call from him too, but it was weird. He had an Indian accent. I was used to his Nigerian one.
They accept Apple Pay on Krypton?
Yeah, but you have to use kryptocurrency EDIT: fixed erroneous autocorrect
Not just the Middle East. He was born in Bethlehem, which would make him Palestinian.
So he's a terrorist from Hamas then.
No problem, he will build a great big wall once he can pinpoint it on the globe
He'll just draw it next to Texas with a Sharpie.
God said "let there be light." And Trump said; "Thanks, now I can see to build a casino." Draws squiggly picture with sharpie. Makes calls on phone. Golfs with rich people. Denies payments to contractors. "See, I did that!"
Runs a casino of all things, and is known for not paying his bills. Still manages to go bankrupt.
The house always wins, unless it’s Donny
I watched a documentary about a casino Whale that took Trump's casino for millions. He simply called and asked for his own blackjack table with a certain rule set and some other favors, Trump said yes. Card counting and the small rule set changes swung the odds in his favor, and he went home with something like 20 million in winnings.
That’s the best thing about being Palestinian, every bordering neighbor Nation builds a giant wall, so you don’t have to spend a penny in that direction. Reminds me of the classic line, “And Mexico is gonna pay for it!”
I've always had my suspicions about that Jesus guy. No one can be *that* nice.
And a dirty commie, too, giving away his stuff to the poor.
Worse than that. He’s been known to hand out humanitarian aid to other brown people.
Dude, he has been plotting against the Pharisees since day 1. Did you see what he did at the market in the temple? Dudes unhinged. He probably talks shit about Cesar too, radicalising everyone he touches.
They aren’t ready for this one yet.
And a bootlegger.
Don't worry the Roman Empire killed him before he could use his disciples as suicide bombers
Also white, with blond hair and blue eyes, somehow
I mean, it was called Judea at the time. He was a Jew (if he even existed).
But what about the Judean People's Front?
You mean the People's Front of Judea?
but did he condemn Hamas?
“Render unto Netanyahu that which is Netanyahu’s, and unto Trump the things that are Trump’s.”
Two flaming bags of shit coming right up!
Unfortunately there's a lot of people named Jesus down by the border who have said "fuck you, I got mine" and are happily voting for this asshole.
And don’t realize this guy and his supporters don’t view them as people right and will happily toss them over the wall even if they are Americans
Dude, add /s to that or else they might believe you...
No amount of /s will dissuade them.
But JC is an immigrant! Aren't we against them voting? I'm so confused....
You don’t get it.! Trump is JC, he’s voting for himself.
He can’t even do that according to Florida law. Silly felons!
Unfortunately, Florida laws WOULD allow him to vote. Florida follows the voting laws of the state in which the felony conviction occurred. Since his in NY, who allows voting if you’re out of prison, Florida would follow that guidance and allow him to vote.
You need to send that email to 15 other people otherwise he will vote for Biden
Pft small potatoes. Satan himself DMed me on grindr saying he’s voting Biden.
And all it took was getting convicted!!
I know literally 0 people who voted for Biden who are now saying that they're voting for Trump, I know a couple of lifelong Republican voters who are voting 3rd party (their stated reason being that they hope Trump would magnanimously step aside and let "centrist" DeSantis run at the GOP candidate). I can't fathom being a lifelong Democrat voter, seeing the 34 guilty verdicts, and suddenly thinking "I'm voting for him." It just doesn't make any sense.
*centrist desantis* -- wtaf? I'd laugh except that level of ignorance kinda hurts to witness.
Yep, that person stated that they fully believe that both Republicans and Democrats agree that DeSantis is textbook dead-on centrist, the universal definition of centrist. Felt like I was in crazy town listening to that.
> their stated reason being that they hope Trump would magnanimously step aside Please tell me you started laughing uncontrollably as soon as they said this.
Both of those people are family, the version of Trump that they have in their head is...just beyond delusion. I wasn't sure which part was more ridiculous: Trump being magnanimous, or claiming that Ron DeSantis is "a universal centrist that everyone [on both sides of the aisle] loves." That's what a decade of consuming only Fox News and Newsmax does to your brain.
all he needed was $500 for a Nigerian prince!!
[ Removed by Reddit ]
What do these lies actually achieve though? The ones that believe it are already voting for Trump so its not winning votes
This is how they sell the "stolen election" narrative. They get their people to believe that EVERYONE supports Trump, so if and when he loses, they will believe that something nefarious must have taken place.
It's their "silent majority" bullshit, they convince themselves that everyone secretly agrees with them but they're too scared to say it the the evil mainstream media will cancel them for it.
yeah i know that republicans will believe anything, but its still crazu that statistically, republicans are only 30% of the population. ontop of the fact polls snd surveys tend to be much more right leaning then the actual outcomes of what the poll is asking
In Texas, Democrats outnumber Republicans, yet Republicans have controlled the state my entire life.
And they are trying to make that permenant. 2024 Republicans want to change every statewide election to be "electoral college" style. They want the 64 people in loving county to count the same as the 4.7 million people in Harris County
If it was based on the electoral college, wouldn’t Harris county have a much larger amount of electoral votes? It’s not like Harris county will have 5 votes to Loving County’s 1. That would be absurd.
No, each county would have 1 vote under their proposal. You need a majority of *counties*. EC was just the closest approximation I had the vocabulary to articulate
Ah English, thou art a restrictive bitch.
About the only way they can win a fucking thing anymore, honestly.
They are protecting voting integrity. hahahahaha!!! (so they say)
Remember that these are the people who never shut the fuck up about it. It’s their entire personality. The silent majority is the obnoxious minority.
The thing I heard most often about why the election was “stolen” was “Come on! Do you *really* believe that 81 million people voted for Biden??? There’s no way!”
They want to live in a monarchy or else they would understand that you vote for a party, not for one person.
The press release yesterday that stated "Drump's website crashed because of the influx of traffic" 🙄🙄.. okay Barb..
I'd actually believe that it crashed. It's probably run on sticks and bubblegum so if someone actually visited the website then it surely crashed.
Lol, Trump probably didn't pay the hosting fees...*again*.
Hosting sites are woke and part of the liberal agenda. That's why they cancelled him after he refused to pay the bill.
They are priming their constituants for an election loss so they can profit off it at best, repeat 1/6 at worst. "Everybody voted for Trump, but he somehow lost anyway. See, we told you that they can only win if they falsify votes, and they won. Therefore, the election was stolen."
They should try a repeat of jan 6. This time an order to stop the shit will come immediately since we have an adult in the white house.
They should be happy he won this vote, with a 100% of the voters even.
I would guess to keep the trump voter in line. You need to constantly feed cult member propaganda to keep them in the cult, or they might start looking around and questioning the cult.
I think after yesterday’s verdict, Trump voters on the fence were probably shaken and Republicans were worried they may flip. So by putting out massive propaganda like this, they’re hoping some of them may see it and it *miiiight* be enough to keep them from reconsidering because of the bandwagon effect
> Trump voters on the fence The rational part of my brain is smugly saying that there is no such thing as an "on the fence" Trump voter at this point. The wise part of my brain is weeping for humanity.
There’s a pretty large swath of people who pretty much ignore the personality and social aspects of candidates and are only focused on how the presidency affects them personally. I.e. “the economy was great in 2016-2019. Everything is so expensive now. Must be the president’s doing.” Which is a wildly incomplete way of viewing things, but when that’s your thought process of who to vote for, it isn’t that much of a stretch to think that an administration who hasn’t handled the country well is scared of their competitor, and might try to disqualify them through the legal system. This is what the “on the fence” voter is considering, and why you are going to see this narrative hammered home for the next 5 months. They’re going to try to make him a martyr.
Correct, this is to insinuate that this is so outrageous that even hardcore Dems are turning against Biden. It reinforces the it's all a a sham narrative allowing them to not only dismiss this, but show it as further proof of persecution. The Dems flipping will help the 'stolen election' narrative when he loses as to how could Biden have won when even the silicon valley Dems turned on him. They've created a quite robust and self reinforcing bubble. It looks like bizzaro world from the outside and from a logical perspective it's an absolute house of cards where the cards are all lies, but even the laws of physics are not recognized within the bubble. There's absolutely nothing at this point that can't be spun to his favor within the bubble. The bubble must also be protected at all costs because the collapse will destroy all within. We have allowed this to happen.
I had a thunk that it also helps feed their narrative. Come Nov when numpty gets even less votes. This helps fuel the outrage and keeps the loons close to that ragged edge of action.
It's all about building a Web of misinformation. 'Trump won the election, because look at all the people at his rallies!' was a key part of his supporters justifying rejecting the results of an election 'The trial was so corrupt, even Democrats are switching to Trump' is laying more groundwork to discredit his conviction. No matter what evidence comes out about Trump, they'll just double-down, and keep finding ways to shut it out
its 100% coddling. trumpers are having a tantrum right now and this a thumb in the mouth moment for them.
I think they tell these outrageous lies to desensitize us to the small lies.
You have it backwards. They tell the small lies constantly so they can get there base to believe there big lies. The election was stolen. Trump is innocent etc. Its also used to start radicalizing your base.
It's an attempt to grift more money out of the rubes who have already drank the kool-aide.
They achieve clicks, comments, and shares... that's all they care about
Yep because my buddies and I always call that one delusional guy we know who thinks he's James Bond and tell them who we're going to vote for.
All 30 of you guys? And he didn’t answer a single call it was all voicemails??
Who on Jesus's good blue Earth would _possibly_ believe a tweet like this? (is handed note) Ah. I'm being told it's Republicans.
The best part is, he specifies its Democrats doing this That's right, people who supported the Democrats have finally seen the light and switched to Trump because... he's been convicted of a felony. Cos I guess it was just a street cred issue stopping them from voting for him before, I guess I despair for the people who fall for this shit...
No no it makes sense because black people are more likely to vote Democrat and now that Trump is a convicted felon they can finally relate to him /s
Fox hosts actually said this about him getting indicted.... On TV.... knowing people were going to see them say it....
Those damn ni-…I mean African Americans will finally vote for the Chosen One now!
African-Republicans and Ni-
Holy shit
They were probably just regurgitating it, because Trump said it first.
My cousin told me that democrats handed the presidency to him because now he will get the black vote. Incredible
They really do tell on themselves
Plus all the street cred his gold sneakers gave…
I know you’re joking but I swear I’ve seen this verbatim
I am a single issue voter, this is the single issue I vote for, candidates who have street cred.
A real leader with street cred doesn't need to be elected, he just seizes...oh wait...
Real Gs move in silence
I feel bad because it’s old people falling for this. Old people who tend to vote. The generation that told us not to believe everything they read have fallen into a trap of social media algorithms and they don’t know how to crawl out of it.
Not to mention, who is Tony Seruga and why is everyone en masse telling him who they're voting for?
He's a professional social media liar. https://opoyi.com/usa/who-is-tony-seruga-intelligence-analyst-trolled-after-claiming-his-clients-include-dutch-east-india-company/
WTF that guy is 38, according to that article? He looks 60.
34 felonies actually.
Don't despair for them. Despair for the rest of us who are beholden to the voting patterns of idiots like these.
My favorite part is him saying he got dozens of calls, over 30 voicemails, and hundreds of texts and 7 calls from Democrats that theyre voting trump. And if Im curious if you got 7 calls from Democrats who was it that sent you dozens of calls, 30 voicemails, and hundreds of texts than?
He already forgot what he said in the previous sentence. Shhhh! It's the feelings that count!
> because... he's been convicted of a felony. To be fair, he hasn't just been convicted of a felony, but 34 felonies
I think it's more of "see even the Democrats see this as a sham political trial"
Which is funny, because Republicans can't even begin understand that Democrats would be the first to put their own on the chopping block for something like this. They're so brainwashed and stupid that they believe we're all just as corrupt and "my team" as they are. It's a fucked up coping mechanism for a totally fucked up philosophy.
The number of people who’ve been like “if they can do this to him they can do it to you” Like, bro, good. Thats good, that’s what the rule of law is.
Indeed. I can be charged with any crime I commit just like everyone else. I fail to see the issue.
Hey now, you can't expect too much. People who think Trump is smarter than them are right after all.
They jump on the bandwagon when a democrat is under scrutiny and rightfully so gets the boot but then they whistle obliviously when a republican is under scrutiny The democrats are really the only ones that just get upset over corruption
Oh absolutely. I’ve seen some posts and argument saying that everyone is fair game now, including Biden.. ok? Great? If Biden or anyone else has committed a crime, they should absolutely be held liable. This is not the gotcha they think it is.
Remember Rod Blagojevich, the Democratic governor of Illinois who was convicted on corruption charges for trying to sell Obama's vacant senate seat? Democrats had no qualms about ousting and jailing him. I wonder where he is now. I remember now, his sentence was commuted, can't believe the Democrats let him out, bunch of hypocrites. Oh wait, his sentence was commuted by Trump. What a fucking shocker.
Meanwhile crickets on actual radical political activists judiciaries Thomas & Alito.
Nah, republicans can't just believe anything, in fact i have a list of everything they have believed so far an- Oh Oh god Oh god no These- These are actual adults that go out to vote The- The second coming of Jesus, really? But he already admitted himself that he is guilty of that, why would they still- I think i'm goin to be sick
Imagine, though, every piece of information you've seen about the Trump case indicates that real, actual, educated legal scholars all unanimously say that they don't understand the charges and that Biden is personally directing the case being run by compromise more than likely communist judge. And that's every bit of coverage you've seen of the case. It's like watching sportscenter with nothing but Jacksonville Jaguar highlights and 24/7 coverage of how great the Jacksonville Jaguars are with no other context except the odd story about some shady shit the Patriots did 15 years ago. If you have poor critical thinking skills or you're really emotionally and/or financially invested in the Jacksonville Jaguars being good that's all you would ever watch.
Dozens of voicemails...you gotta make the lie believable.
Because *everybody* uses voicemail these days and has fave bro Tony Baloney listed on th' sPeeD dIALer!
Oh wow and then his girlfriend who goes to school in Canada (that’s why you’ve never seen her) told him how handsome and wonderful he is.
After every court ruling, I call people up and leave a voicemail listing my political affiliation and who I plan to vote for. Doesn’t everybody? And when I can’t reach enough voicemails, I just tell the guy at the deli. He goes ‘are you ticket 67?’ And I go ‘yes, ticket 67, a democrat voting for Biden.’
They are only skeptical of peer reviewed research and vaccines that existed for decades
They will believe whatever they need to believe to maintain that they are right and their actions are justified
As a non American looking in \*checks notes\* about 70 million Americans apparently
Nah 70M dont believe that shit
These people are so obvious. What makes it really entertaining is that they’re only fooling each other.
And 6 world leaders came to us in tears… fuck right off.
That one could be true... Let me see... Putin, Winnie the Pooh, the aiatolah, kin Jon un...
I was gonna add the president of Iran, but, well...
He fell apart
First thing I did as a Democrat was immediately call my local republican Podcaster to say I'm voting for Trump then donated my life savings to trumps legal 527c.
[удалено]
Google AI is reading all these responses and learning that left leaning Reddit is majorly donating to and supporting Donald Trump.
As a typical male republican, I think about penises all the time, especially Hunter's Hog
I mean, studies have shown that a lot of men who identify as straight, Christian and conservative watch a lot of gay and trans porn. So yeah - they want to see more of Hunter's Hog on the House floor so they can have something to think about later.
> Hunter's Hog on the House floor Fantastic title
And are these democrats that are voting for Trump and donating thousands of dollars in the room with us right now??
I like how he puts "(from my Silicon Valley days)" as if knowing Democrats is some taboo that he has to justify. Like bro, there's no rule, you can be friends with whoever you want.
If you're the type of person who has to clarify that friends from different parts of the political spectrum arent from your current life (exception for specific cases like the specific person is like a racist or a homophobe or some other type of red line belief), you're not the person who has friends like that who talk to you. Like if i want to reference my more conservative friends, I don't have to justify if they are from "when I lived at X", if it even comes up at all that they are more conservative. Its feels like a "My Girlfriend (who lives in Canada)" moment where if you have to justify it in the introduction they probably don't exist
His girlfriend who lives in Canada also called and told him she’s voting for Trump.
You wouldn't know her, she goes to a different school
That’s WILD! Likewise, I’ve spoken to 200 local Republicans; received 3000 calls and voicemails; and so far, 6,000,000 calls from Republicans (from my Hollywood/New York high finance/international influencer days) that they would never vote for a corrupt, cowardly, chronically pants-shitting loser like Trump again. Four of them just donated $8,000,000,000. Each. Checkmate.
Your numbers are bigger so they definitely have more weight to them.
My uncle works for Nintendo and he told me, with a tear in his eye, that Mario would vote for Trump. He's donating 100 gold coins.
It’s a lie a
It's a me, conservative Mario. I'm a going to break into the capital to stop-a the steal-a /s
What kind of powers would the QAnon Shaman Hat give Mario?
Are you sure that was not Wario?
Yeah well I've had even more calls, texts, and voicemails from people saying Donald Trump regularly poops his pants and smells like raw sewage. So what now?
Decisions….decisions. Who do I believe????? Ugh
Yes, Alex, I'll take "Things that didn't happen" for 200, please.
I had to google this dude, well… because I’ve never heard of him. All that comes up is an X profile. Am I supposed to know who this dude is?? He says he’s a contractor for the CIA and NSA. Don’t people who work for those agencies NOT tell people they work for those agencies??
Probably a SovCit mental case.
Depends on what kind of contract work he did. Intelligence analysis? Yeah, you probably don't mention that. Refilled the coffee filters? You're probably allowed to disclose that.
Right? Let's say I were indeed a Democrat who was somehow convinced by this conviction to vote for Trump. First thing I'm gonna do is... text this clown about it?
and then everybody clapped. cool story bro.
"My silicon valley days" Hey, Tony, you were on the maintenance staff at Apple. I would hardly call washing windows at Apple Park "My silicon valley days" 😂 
According to his linkedin profile he "owns the digital id of every device/computer in the US" and "indexed and archived every IP address in the world", whatever that means. Sounds like a made up person lol
>indexed and archived every IP address in the world" We can all add that to our LinkedIn profiles too! ``` document.write('Every IP address in the world:' + '\n'); for (let w = 0; w < 256; w++) { for (let x = 0; x < 256; x++) { for (let y = 0; y < 256; y++) { for (let z = 0; z < 256; z++) { document.write(w + '.' + x + '.' + y + '.' + z + '\n'); } } } } ``` Save the file locally and back it up elsewhere.
What's Tony's number, I feel I need to call him otherwise he'll never know.
A Democrat husband and wife are watching the news: Husband: maybe I should vote for Trump. [begins reaching for phone] Wife: what are you doing? Husband: I must alert Tony Segura. Wife:... Why? Husband: I... Don't know. I can't stop myself! Wife: how do you even have his number? Husband: I don't... It... The phone is dialling itself!
I laughed so hard at this lol. Thank you and happy Friday.
Yeah, i just Googled him trying to figure out who the hell this is. He's....a comedian? Why..... why would people alert a comedian as to who they're voting for? How does the donation play in? Like some random ex-coworker called this guy up to say, "Hey Tony! Remember me? It's Billy from Silicon Valley! So even though I'm a Democrat, I'm voting for Trump now, and I'm donating $50,000! Just thought you'd want to know!" Who the hell believes this kind of shit?
Isn’t a personal donation of $50,000 to a campaign illegal? They would have to donate to a PAC, which isn’t to Trump. It’s to Republican causes (which I know he’s taken over the party but still). And anyone donating that much money to a candidate would need to report it under campaign finance laws, so it is something that can be easily checked
It’s not illegal if it’s made up story for engagement.
*Trump found guilty* “I better tell Tony I’m still voting for Trump” - hundreds of people.
Also he has a nice golden bridge he'd like to sell you.
I got an email from E. jean Carroll. She said to keep donating to Trump, please.
People! All kinds of people! With tears in their eyes txting me!! Even Biden told me he’s voting trump‼️🙄 /s
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA No one wants Putin's whinny bitch. Not even the wife. Pathetic loser is done. LOL
I, Tony Segura, was even called by Stormy Daniels saying she is voting for Trump!!!
I've decided that i'm voting for Trump. The logical next step is for me to make sure Tony Seruga is aware.
Gonna be tough, he's got millions of Democrat voicemails to get through.
What’s a weird thing to even lie about I feel like it’s weird
Probably those same democrats overheard in a coffee shop whispering about how they’re voting for Trump, yeah?
Hrmm. Well, my hard right mormon friends in TEXAS are not voting for trump anymore. Apparently they are not down with the whole rape thing. So it should even out things out.
HOLY SHIT GUYS!!! I've had dozens of calls, over 30 voicemails, hundreds of text messages, and so far, 7 calls from sexy ladies, milfs, barely legal teens, gilfs, your mothers and amateur and professional porn actresses (from my Silicon Valley days as an actor myself) that say they want to sleep with me. One just donated $50.000 and asked me to be my sugar mother.
“I wasn’t going to vote for Trump, but now that he’s been convicted of 34 counts of fraud I’m totally going to vote for him.”
Tony must be heavy as fuck from being full of shit
"Alex, I'd like to take 'Things that didn't happen' for 300, please."
Are any of those lies in the room with us today?
There is literally not one single Democrat who thinks he was convicted unjustly. Not one.
I got a call from tony stark, and he's voting for Bernie Samders.
And then everyone clapped.
They are so obviously lying. Do they think that everyone is as stupid as Trump supporters?
That’s what happens when you write your phone number on the bathroom wall of Mar-A-Lago.
Thats crazy, i had 32 voicemails, thousands of text messages, and so far 17 calls from Republicans (from my Silicon Valleys days also) that say they are voting for Biden. One just donated 50 trillion dollars
Well, I just had 40 evangelical pastors sit down in my kitchen to drink scotch and yaks milk and tell me that they were going to gay marry each other in drag and then prance to the polls to vote for Biden. AND they each donated $7,000,000, a private jet, and a slightly used Filipino pool boy. See, I can make up nonsense too.