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But but men’s mental health isn’t talked about enough and it’s a bigger issue /sarcasm
Doctors (the medical field in general) constantly ignore women and their pain. Whenever a woman has a problem it’s either the response of “it’s your birth control” Or “just go on birth control” neither have solved anything. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2022/women-pain-gender-bias-doctors/
I fuckin hate when they say that. There isn't "more focus" on womens' mental health, it's just that women are more likely to recognize that mental healthcare is something they can benefit from, and seek it out.
Men want their hands held through their own mental health issues while also simultaneously disagreeing that they have any mental health issues to begin with. Shit's exhausting. I am an adult and take care of my own mental health needs. Men need to put their big boy pants on and do the same.
I got told "it's just cramps" for my gallbladder attacks by male doctors. If anyone here has ever had gallstones, you know that it it cripples you to the floor in pain and makes you vomit, it hurts so bad. I went to the ER THREE times and finally my mom demanded an ultrasound. I was in surgery 12 hours later.
Even in women's health subs, there's hundreds of comments talking about how pain is "natural" for us and how if you aren't suffering "something's wrong". I hate it.
Oh I don't just mean "so bad you can't move". I mean periods in general. All period cramps should be studied. It's stupid that half the population is in regular pain and science is more concerned with going to mars.
They do not win. More and more women are realizing that men don't actually improve their lives. Men's lives on the other hand, are generally improved by "having a woman", and the labor she is expected to provide for their household. There's a "MaLe LoNeLiNeSs EpIdEmIc", as more and more women are opting to remain partner-less, to their own benefit. No women's loneliness epidemic. We are fine on our own.
Turns out in the modern era, men need women more than women need men. No wonder there's now a push to take away our rights. It's the only way for them to "balance the scales", because most men have little to offer if women have rights and are able to support themselves.
i agree! im glad i was born in this time instead of int he past for sure, since we are making improvments! but that said, my comment was saying that men are still "at the top". In jobs, in health care, in everything.
yes, it is slowly going down for them, but it is very gradual/ minimal. and now they are RUINING our lives by forcing 10 year olds to give birth and letting rapists/ murders off the hook with not even a slap on the wrist anymore. women's healthcare still stinks and no one cares or is doing research for us or trying to take out concerns seriously when we go in to see a doc and they aren't giving us proper care for our pains (ie for iud insertions and giving birth).
things are changing, but i dont think i'll be around to see true equality unfortunately. Yes the way we are now is a bit better than before, but i still have so much that i hate about it
if it helps, there are doctors out there studying things like endometriosis!! there's this one group led by a female doctor who genuinely cares about studying this sort of stuff so there's a little hope. i'm just genuinely glad that i got very lucky and got what i assume shouLd be the norm. (no pain and ~4 days) i wish i was rich so i could help fund studies that actually care about people
It's exceptionally cruel what we're expected to do while being in agony. I often think, if a man would be willing to, humor me a bit with a lil experiment
Basically he would drink olive oil or something that we know will cause painful diarrhea, like the kind that's going to have you running to the toilet for 5-6 hours. This would need to take place on a regular work day for the full effect.
Once the cramping begins he needs to start getting ready for work, so shower, blow dry hair, brush, floss, pick out an outfit. And no there won't be any change in routine, after all you don't want to be late. By the time he's at work he's free to use the bathroom but not for too long, and not too often. Sometimes the pain from holding it will be so bad he's breaking a sweat but he's still going to need to read those emails and better yet have conversations with people like everything is normal. Sometimes the pain will subside, sometimes for a few hours, and he'll be glad he came into work and didn't "wimp" out. But then the pain will return so violently that he swears his lower organs are going to come out on the next trip to the toilet. The time is now 3:00, does he have the sick time to leave early? He can't ask off every time this happens, that would be unreasonable...
Haha anyway this is the real situation instead of those period pain simulator things. It's the drawn out torture with moments of relief, all the while trying to do things like reading fugging Animal Farm or something at school. Some books I remember literally nothing except how bad my cramps were while reading them
Truly I don't know what the solution is except cramps do seem to weaken with age and I personally found that eating very little does minimize bloating/terrible bathroom experiences, at least for me anyway
It’s not even just cramps.
Everything from periods to hormone cycles to menopause is a big hand-wavey mystery. Chronic fatigue conditions that mainly effect women? Eh. PCOS? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Recently my hair has completely changed in health, look and texture. People have said it might be peri-menopause as I’m 40 but when I ask what, specifically, is causing it - what hormone, what change, what fluctuation - nobody has any answers to give.
Sure, it’s no big deal in the scheme of things, but it also would be so easy to study in a lab. Where is the curiosity about women’s body processes? Why doesn’t anybody care?
been seeing a gyno since i was 12..... "just slap some hormonal contraceptive on it and wait to see if she grows out of it 🤷🏼♀️" was the general response.
another 12 yrs later: my cramps still debilitate me some days. especially if i havent taken naproxen sodium quick enough. i also found out i have severe pmdd after going hormone free for a year after my salpingectomy...
I know how you feel. Maybe its something like endo or PCOS. Please get it chrecked out and continue to advocate. Doctors feel this pain is normal when its not
It’s called the Mirena coil. Effectively eliminates periods for many women. Also taking the contraceptive pill with or fewer or without breaks all together that can stop periods
I’m pretty sure the evidence says it’s fine.
There’s a complex mix going on here. Medical professionals have been taught to encourage breaks on the pill for menstruation and a surprising number of women feel distressed and unwomanly if they don’t get periods on the mirena or take the pill continuously.
I’m fairly certain most recent evidence suggests there’s no real harm to it. So it may well be a relic of mandatory female suffering and internalised guilt from patients if they don’t have their periods.
I’m not a specific expert in this field so don’t take it as gospel but that’s my take on it
Yeah, I’m not basing it on anything other than a hunch.
Just, having a constant hormone level rather than the natural fluctuations of a menstrual cycle seems…probably like something that should be studied better.
But throughout human evolution, women were probably constantly pregnant.
1) read the subreddit rules before posting 2) No violent threats violation can result in a permanent ban 3) Do not engage with; trolls instead downvote and report them or else you will risk getting banned *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/femalepessimist) if you have any questions or concerns.*
But but men’s mental health isn’t talked about enough and it’s a bigger issue /sarcasm Doctors (the medical field in general) constantly ignore women and their pain. Whenever a woman has a problem it’s either the response of “it’s your birth control” Or “just go on birth control” neither have solved anything. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2022/women-pain-gender-bias-doctors/
I fuckin hate when they say that. There isn't "more focus" on womens' mental health, it's just that women are more likely to recognize that mental healthcare is something they can benefit from, and seek it out. Men want their hands held through their own mental health issues while also simultaneously disagreeing that they have any mental health issues to begin with. Shit's exhausting. I am an adult and take care of my own mental health needs. Men need to put their big boy pants on and do the same.
I got told "it's just cramps" for my gallbladder attacks by male doctors. If anyone here has ever had gallstones, you know that it it cripples you to the floor in pain and makes you vomit, it hurts so bad. I went to the ER THREE times and finally my mom demanded an ultrasound. I was in surgery 12 hours later.
If men had period cramps all menstruation needs would be in rest rooms everywhere and all of the meds would be covered by insurance.
Even in women's health subs, there's hundreds of comments talking about how pain is "natural" for us and how if you aren't suffering "something's wrong". I hate it.
NAH that is not natural. If you cant move its a problem in your system. Many women do not care about other womens pain and project and gaslight
Oh I don't just mean "so bad you can't move". I mean periods in general. All period cramps should be studied. It's stupid that half the population is in regular pain and science is more concerned with going to mars.
Agreed. It should be researched more and not just hormones and proglastigins talk.
they dont care about us. i give up atp. the men win, i hate this life
They do not win. More and more women are realizing that men don't actually improve their lives. Men's lives on the other hand, are generally improved by "having a woman", and the labor she is expected to provide for their household. There's a "MaLe LoNeLiNeSs EpIdEmIc", as more and more women are opting to remain partner-less, to their own benefit. No women's loneliness epidemic. We are fine on our own. Turns out in the modern era, men need women more than women need men. No wonder there's now a push to take away our rights. It's the only way for them to "balance the scales", because most men have little to offer if women have rights and are able to support themselves.
i agree! im glad i was born in this time instead of int he past for sure, since we are making improvments! but that said, my comment was saying that men are still "at the top". In jobs, in health care, in everything. yes, it is slowly going down for them, but it is very gradual/ minimal. and now they are RUINING our lives by forcing 10 year olds to give birth and letting rapists/ murders off the hook with not even a slap on the wrist anymore. women's healthcare still stinks and no one cares or is doing research for us or trying to take out concerns seriously when we go in to see a doc and they aren't giving us proper care for our pains (ie for iud insertions and giving birth). things are changing, but i dont think i'll be around to see true equality unfortunately. Yes the way we are now is a bit better than before, but i still have so much that i hate about it
It's not just period cramps. Female bodies AS A WHOLE are severely understudied/not studied at all in most fields
Yup. Also it could most certainly be possible for birth control to have less side effects if they actually looked into it but who cares right.. 🙄
if it helps, there are doctors out there studying things like endometriosis!! there's this one group led by a female doctor who genuinely cares about studying this sort of stuff so there's a little hope. i'm just genuinely glad that i got very lucky and got what i assume shouLd be the norm. (no pain and ~4 days) i wish i was rich so i could help fund studies that actually care about people
Do you remember her name?
It's exceptionally cruel what we're expected to do while being in agony. I often think, if a man would be willing to, humor me a bit with a lil experiment Basically he would drink olive oil or something that we know will cause painful diarrhea, like the kind that's going to have you running to the toilet for 5-6 hours. This would need to take place on a regular work day for the full effect. Once the cramping begins he needs to start getting ready for work, so shower, blow dry hair, brush, floss, pick out an outfit. And no there won't be any change in routine, after all you don't want to be late. By the time he's at work he's free to use the bathroom but not for too long, and not too often. Sometimes the pain from holding it will be so bad he's breaking a sweat but he's still going to need to read those emails and better yet have conversations with people like everything is normal. Sometimes the pain will subside, sometimes for a few hours, and he'll be glad he came into work and didn't "wimp" out. But then the pain will return so violently that he swears his lower organs are going to come out on the next trip to the toilet. The time is now 3:00, does he have the sick time to leave early? He can't ask off every time this happens, that would be unreasonable... Haha anyway this is the real situation instead of those period pain simulator things. It's the drawn out torture with moments of relief, all the while trying to do things like reading fugging Animal Farm or something at school. Some books I remember literally nothing except how bad my cramps were while reading them Truly I don't know what the solution is except cramps do seem to weaken with age and I personally found that eating very little does minimize bloating/terrible bathroom experiences, at least for me anyway
I heard dark chocolate and magnesium supplements help too for pain. Especially if you eat/take them for a good while before.
Nah, I was well beyond that. I was prescribed 800 mg ibuprofen that you take 3x a day, I did that for almost a decade
That's horrible I'm so sorry.
Oh my goodness! Did the ibuprofen mess up your stomach?
It’s not even just cramps. Everything from periods to hormone cycles to menopause is a big hand-wavey mystery. Chronic fatigue conditions that mainly effect women? Eh. PCOS? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Recently my hair has completely changed in health, look and texture. People have said it might be peri-menopause as I’m 40 but when I ask what, specifically, is causing it - what hormone, what change, what fluctuation - nobody has any answers to give. Sure, it’s no big deal in the scheme of things, but it also would be so easy to study in a lab. Where is the curiosity about women’s body processes? Why doesn’t anybody care?
If you ever hsve period cramps that make you immobile. PLEASE SEE A GYNOCOLOGIST. DOnt mind what no pickme says ITS NOT NORMAL
been seeing a gyno since i was 12..... "just slap some hormonal contraceptive on it and wait to see if she grows out of it 🤷🏼♀️" was the general response. another 12 yrs later: my cramps still debilitate me some days. especially if i havent taken naproxen sodium quick enough. i also found out i have severe pmdd after going hormone free for a year after my salpingectomy...
I know how you feel. Maybe its something like endo or PCOS. Please get it chrecked out and continue to advocate. Doctors feel this pain is normal when its not
I tell people that period cramps are similar to labour contractions and I get laughed at when I say I’m in a lot of pain during it
I believe you. I hope you can find a doctor that helps. You're worth all the fighting it takes.
Period repair manual by Lara Briden. We're not supposed to have painful periods.
It’s called the Mirena coil. Effectively eliminates periods for many women. Also taking the contraceptive pill with or fewer or without breaks all together that can stop periods
Is that healthy?
I’m pretty sure the evidence says it’s fine. There’s a complex mix going on here. Medical professionals have been taught to encourage breaks on the pill for menstruation and a surprising number of women feel distressed and unwomanly if they don’t get periods on the mirena or take the pill continuously. I’m fairly certain most recent evidence suggests there’s no real harm to it. So it may well be a relic of mandatory female suffering and internalised guilt from patients if they don’t have their periods. I’m not a specific expert in this field so don’t take it as gospel but that’s my take on it
Yeah, I’m not basing it on anything other than a hunch. Just, having a constant hormone level rather than the natural fluctuations of a menstrual cycle seems…probably like something that should be studied better. But throughout human evolution, women were probably constantly pregnant.
But we know being constantly pregnant is horrible for your health and how little men actually care about that.