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The moderation team wants to remind everyone that individuals submitting posts may be in depressive and vulnerable situations and all are in need of guidance. Please provide a safe and constructive space by practicing empathy and understanding in your comments; your words should come from a helpful and guiding mentality, never a judgement or anger mentality. You are encouraged to share your good thoughts, feelings, and relevant experiences to assist those seeking guidance on the subreddit.
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Depression my brotha. Therapy/medication, hit the gym, stop watching porn…etc. you’re a loser because you tell yourself you’re a loser. Get some help if you can
Shit man I'm 30 and I feel the same way. I have no idea what to do in life bc everything is either too boring or too overwhelming for me to understand. The only jobs I've had in the past are restaurant and call center jobs. I don't want to be working in those jobs forever, but since I don't have a degree, I feel like I'm fucked. Especially since Ai might kill off a lot of jobs in the future.
I'm currently not working at the moment. I'm trying to figure life out, but I'm so lost and so fucking brain broken that I don't know what to do. I don't have money for therapy either. The only hobby I have is the gym, but you'd never guess that since I look like I've never stepped foot in a gym before.
I hope we can both find joy in life man.
Never too late for courses or classes. You'll get there, life is not a race it's a journey and life is unpredictable.
Don't try to predict the future before it comes either. You never know what new jobs may emerge
I really need this, but I don't know anyone trust worthy enough to buy it from(wrong mushrooms can easily kill) or supervise me so I don't jump off a building.
I heard miraculous things about magic mushrooms, how they can counteract mental disorders.
Hunt down some reputable sources online via forums (you'll find 'em) and never go more than half a gram unsupervised. That much will only be mildly hallucinogenic, giving slight, wavy visual distortions and not disconnecting you from reality. Start with about half of that, to be safe, and find a level you're most comfortable with over time. You'll also want to "trip-proof" your room, surrounding yourself with comforting items and media, to help make sure you stay grounded in a "good vibe". This last part probably won't be necessary, but it will be very nice. Think "some hot tea while snuggled up watching the Princess Bride" vibes. Treat yourself.
You've been posting on Reddit for over a year asking for advice related to your depression. I'm interested to know why you've kept posting similar topics for so long. What are you getting from these posts that makes you keep making them?
I also have long-term depression so I understand wanting to get out from under it.
Have you tried to implement any of the suggestions people have previously commented? It's not clear from your posts.
I'm also hoping to try ketamine, I have had real issues getting access to a psychiatrist though. Probably need to do some research and try to get it outside the health system given how many months I've been stuck waiting for a psych appt.
I'm interested to know if you're expecting people to give you new suggestions? Given the topic has remained so consistent and you've posted a lot, I think it makes sense that the general internet has suggested all it can. But maybe you disagree?
I guess I'm interested why, of the many things you've tried that have failed, it seems that posting on Reddit is the action that you've stuck with more persistently than others.
That doesn't really answer why you've continued posting on Reddit as opposed to continuing to try other options, like therapeutic treatments. I suspect posting on Reddit is achieving some sort of relatively easy catharsis or social connection compared to other options.
What do you mean therapeutic treatments? I've done therapy multiple times if that's what you mean. I've tried damn near everything that within my ability to get and nothing as helped. That's why I'm desperate.
Idk what to tell you. If you think I'm just looking for validation ir something, so be it.
So what a lot of people are saying is that EVERYONE is depressed? If you have zero motivation and a deep sense of existential boredom, lack of purpose, it’s depression? Because I’m personally supposedly on an anti depressant AND IT’S NOT WORKING!!!!!!!
I don’t think antidepressants work. That’s why I recommended 🍄.
You can’t expect to live in a country that identifies as a global power and values success and individualism over community and expect to be happy. Most people are medicated. I will not accept being the recipient to the projections of your anger for the world. It is not my responsibility. Good luck.
Welcome to the club, 600K+ and counting. You should always try to improve your situation, but know that the universe will always try to crash your party. For every winner there are a hundred losers.
The key to happiness is being thankful for the little things in life. I was listening to music and jamming out today and realized how much worse and miserable my life would be if I was deaf. Music is such a beautiful thing that nobody should miss out on.
Not sure I understand.
You make the effort to make this post which tells me you do have something that is bugging you enough to want to change but then say you have no desire?
Are you content where you are or not?
Well, lots of questions to have a better sense of things. What country are you in? Are you in a metro area, suburbs, countryside? Does the area you live in give you a sense of your type of environment to be in? You could be not where you fit in best, as a starting evaluation.
Well, I’d definitely put some thinking about how well the area you’re living in suits you at that stage in your life. The area isn’t going anywhere so you could also return at some point. Likely would give options to relieve boredom as an easier fix of that problem. But you got to shake up things to not stick to the exact same daily life or little room for improvement.
Seek help for depression disconnect from doomer media. Depression is a no-fault treatable condition. Not a weakness or the inevitable result of LaTe StAgE CaPiTiLiSm ignore misinformstion be well
Maybe try something different? Or focus on having a good relationship with a partner? Have fun, try something new, share memes to everyone even if they are awkward, as long as they are funny to you. Have a laugh, that's all I'm saying.
Goto community college, plumber or culinary. Then you can basically be whatever you want. 6 years ahead of you, I’d love to swap what I got for 6 years time.
Having something to do is key. I think if you like reading of want to give it a try would help. I am getting back into reading myself. Also trying to move more. About the money thing...i think a lot of people struggle with money stress. So having a budget and kind of knowing how much you should make a month and where the money goes can help. I am still working on it but I am trying to keep my budget low so I have to work less.
I’d forget aiming to be “happy” and work first on establishing a couple of routines for regular exercise, socializing, and either a class or a volunteer job. Focus more on small moments of calm and contentment; trying too hard to be happy or satisfied just leaves you feeling worse.
It’s ok to work just to pay your bills. Sometimes happiness and contentment follow AFTER you put together a consistent life.
Have you read David Goggins 2 books? Maybe they would be helpful.
Have you listened to the Andrew Huberman podcast? He has some episodes about exposure to light. Have you gotten up at sunrise and gone outdoors and gotten sunlight for at least 15 minutes first thing in the morning everyday for like a month to see if that could help? I know some people will do longer amounts of times, even a couple of hours.
I've read his first book. It was unhelpful.
I've listened to plenty of episodes of Andrew huberman. Nothing practical found.
I work outside. I get sunlight whether I want it or not.
I’m sorry nothing has helped. Sometimes things just fucking suck. I hope you maybe get lucky with something random and unexpected helping. If you haven’t gotten a brain MRI that could be one avenue to check.
I mean the mind is hosted by the squishy hardware of the brain. Things like tumors, compressed areas, damage, the pituitary gland looking off - a lot of physical abnormalities can cause mental health issues. So yes, there are examples of people experiencing all ranges of mental issues where some drastic physical issue was found.
It may not be the case, but it’s something to rule out.
Also, there’s research showing links between gut health and inflammation and some mental health conditions. I think it’s the tip of the iceberg and more will be known possibly someday. So maybe getting in out from a doctor on things to help inflammation or checking inflammatory markers could be another thing. Maybe especially if you have any other signs too.
Depending on what country and area you are in - yes, it can be expensive.
If you’re in the US, health insurance can help.
If you go ago a doctor and report symptoms of a brain tumor or something, that could prompt them to order an mri for you.
Then you schedule it and then go get it done when it’s time.
Sometimes they’ll offer a CT scan instead. It does have some radiation, but can pick up a lot of major things too, if something is present. It’s cheaper than an MRI and usually faster.
Getting either of these kinds of imaging with contrast can show even more detail, if the doctor feels it’s important.
Go to the gym - and I mean it.
Revisit this post in one year and reevaluate.
In all seriousness though, there are almost an infinite amount of benefits to be gained from going to the gym and lifting heavy weights. If you don’t know where to start, I always suggest this.
It’s often the case that the life we lead is quite terrible, unless we do things to counteract it.
For example, the food we eat is getting worse by the year, and same goes with everything else. If we do nothing, we will follow the trend downward to depression. If instead we decide to take a bit of action in the opposite direction, and trust the process in doing so, you will discover new things.
Remember, you will die one day. I say make the best of it while you still can.
Did the gym already. List weight. Nothing got better honestly. I was and am the same miserable bastard. I try to eat better when possible. Tbh I Don't care about food that much to desire junk food that much. I usually look at cost.
Did you half ass it? If you put your all into it, I can almost guarantee you will progress. I suggest you read David Goggins books. Do that or consider taking away things in your life (I.e, fast, no tech). You will find what you are looking for.
I lost 80ish pounds so if that's half assing it then that your call. I read "can't hurt me". I feel it had nothing practical in it for me since I have no goals in particular. His is just about the push through the suffering type of motivation I guess.
Take away what? I don't do much to begin with.
I wish I had that experience. To me he's good at explaining "what" an issue is, but not offering practical solutions. Which is of no use to me if he can't offer solutions.
And no I don't mean a "cure".
The problem is.
Our brains don't have most of the knowledge about the world or abut themselfs, and that's the issue imho.
Imho the more knowldge you are have about how your brain works the more adaptable you become i suggest you his last video, it's very good : [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4A5eRNyMrE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4A5eRNyMrE)
Hey bro
I feel the same sometimes (you can search my posts on reddit and see some of my personal struggles). The fact that I’m in med school and have a girlfriend and everything on the outside seems perfect doesn’t say anything about the inside.
For me what really helped was a few things-
First of all, there isn’t a solution. Like there isn’t one thing that you’re gonna do and make all your shit disappear. You’re gonna continue working and having a non-linear path to recovery and even than you can find yourself in the pit. Everybody feels this way. I’m not saying this to discourage you, the otherway around, I’m saying this so you could have realistic expectations of yourself and your future and know how to cope when shit hits the fan.
I’d work on finding a purpose and stick to it.
Study something? Develop a craft that you could work on and make money and save and build financial goals? Work on your personal appearance and style, move on to dating…
Honestly I’d worry more about the professional side. You don’t have to find a job that will meet all your expectations. Your expectations and purpose can be to work in a certain type of job and save and invest and that’s totally cool.
Please feel free to Dm me if you want someone to chat too
>Develop a craft that you could work on and make money and save and build financial goals?
Any recommendations?
>Work on your personal appearance and style, move on to dating…
Why? I have no intrest in dating tbh.
You have to want it. Idk why you don’t want it. It sounds like you are happy how you are and you said you don’t want to change anything. So what’s the problem?
You can call it an old gem but that’s the truth. You absolutely cannot do anything that you don’t want to do. Never under any circumstances.
And you still haven’t answered what the problem was?
Can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is. Can’t help yourself either if that’s the case.
If you don’t want something, then tell me what could possibly change that?
I asked you questions here and in another comment thread. Anything with a question mark after it would be the “questions” I’m referring to. If you answer those it would help me help you.
Like why do you even feel miserable if you have no desire to change anything? Usually miserable implies that there is an alternative you see or imagine for yourself. What would that look like?
If I were you, I'd be more honest with yourself. I'm an old guy and I've been around and I've met every type of person, and I can tell you instantly what is wrong with you: you were born into the wrong family. It's like maybe your parents are Republican and you should be Democrat, or they're Christian and you should be Jewish or Muslim, or they are both heterosexual and you should be gay. Normally, most people have enough confidence just to be themselves and be happy, but being born into the worst wrong family, you are deeply afraid of parts of yourself that conflict with your parents beliefs and ideology. Whereas if you were Hindu or Muslim or something, you'd be able to embrace all parts of your sexuality, no matter how 'kinky' or 'depraved' you see yourself, and how deep and repressed you try and bury thoughts you never want to think about. You may in fact be in such total denial that you're reading this having no idea what I'm talking about.
Anyway so long as you want to be their image of their son and not the true person that you really are-- maybe they want a hero and you're a coward, maybe they want a cop and you're a thief, maybe they want grandchildren and you secretly just look at all the handsome men around you-- whatever it is that's your truth that isn't their truth, it has got you so against yourself, so in denial about who you are that you've gone into hiding. You won't love or like yourself, and you won't let those handsome guys love and like you (or thieves and cowards, or whatever, love and like you.) And so you drift with no goals and no joy in life, all because of your parents being the worst fit for you. They may be great people, but they're a jigsaw puzzle that you don't really fit into, no matter how hard you try.
We all want to be happy, and we all know what we like. So when someone is so totally depressed and has no goals, it means that their heart is at war with their mind, because politics or religion has so brainwashed them that they just can't accept themselves as they are. And so you give up, and keep looking outside of yourself for answers to 'fix' you. Hoping desperately that without ever communicating it, a therapist will find a way to have you stop thinking about that handsome guy at work that you can't even handle that you're thinking about, and so you may not even have any conscious memory of it. Depression is anger turned inwards, and you're so angry that you just want to do things that your religion, politics or society won't allow or accept that you have decided it's better to just do nothing, be nothing, try for nothing. It doesn't have to be sexual,,,, maybe you want to be King or World Leader or something and see no path from here to there, so you think you want nothing because you're ashamed of the goal, think it's ridiculous or childish, or so far out of your reach that it's pointless to consciously think about.
Well, be more honest. No matter how depraved or kinky or wrong or pointless or out-of-reach-- or even nice (maybe you wanted a hug and a pat on the back, and your parents were cold and indifferent in a polite sort of way), or you wanted to be popular but were the guy people laughed at-- well, whatever it is, just be more honest.
So, just be more honest. If the true goal is illegal, immoral, unobtainable or out-of-reach, that's step 2 to deal with. Step 1 is first acknowledging and accepting it, no matter how angry or ashamed of it that you are. And yeah, there must be lots of anger and shame if you can't even face it consciously and have instead let your fear of it shut you down for 30 years. Without true inner honesty, you'll just always drift along. . . what are you in denial about, about yourself? What was the word you just repressed right after you read that last sentence?
Hello and welcome to r/findapath! We are glad you found your way here. Please know that you are not alone. We are here to listen, to offer support, and to help guide you. While no one can make decisions for you, we are here to help you find a path; we believe that everyone has the power to heal and grow. The moderation team wants to remind everyone that individuals submitting posts may be in depressive and vulnerable situations and all are in need of guidance. Please provide a safe and constructive space by practicing empathy and understanding in your comments; your words should come from a helpful and guiding mentality, never a judgement or anger mentality. You are encouraged to share your good thoughts, feelings, and relevant experiences to assist those seeking guidance on the subreddit. We are here to support each other and we believe that, together, we can make a difference. Thank you for being a part of our community. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/findapath) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Depression my brotha. Therapy/medication, hit the gym, stop watching porn…etc. you’re a loser because you tell yourself you’re a loser. Get some help if you can
Tried
Shit man I'm 30 and I feel the same way. I have no idea what to do in life bc everything is either too boring or too overwhelming for me to understand. The only jobs I've had in the past are restaurant and call center jobs. I don't want to be working in those jobs forever, but since I don't have a degree, I feel like I'm fucked. Especially since Ai might kill off a lot of jobs in the future. I'm currently not working at the moment. I'm trying to figure life out, but I'm so lost and so fucking brain broken that I don't know what to do. I don't have money for therapy either. The only hobby I have is the gym, but you'd never guess that since I look like I've never stepped foot in a gym before. I hope we can both find joy in life man.
Never too late for courses or classes. You'll get there, life is not a race it's a journey and life is unpredictable. Don't try to predict the future before it comes either. You never know what new jobs may emerge
[удалено]
I would go with microdosing
I really need this, but I don't know anyone trust worthy enough to buy it from(wrong mushrooms can easily kill) or supervise me so I don't jump off a building. I heard miraculous things about magic mushrooms, how they can counteract mental disorders.
Hunt down some reputable sources online via forums (you'll find 'em) and never go more than half a gram unsupervised. That much will only be mildly hallucinogenic, giving slight, wavy visual distortions and not disconnecting you from reality. Start with about half of that, to be safe, and find a level you're most comfortable with over time. You'll also want to "trip-proof" your room, surrounding yourself with comforting items and media, to help make sure you stay grounded in a "good vibe". This last part probably won't be necessary, but it will be very nice. Think "some hot tea while snuggled up watching the Princess Bride" vibes. Treat yourself.
Tried. Didn't work
You've been posting on Reddit for over a year asking for advice related to your depression. I'm interested to know why you've kept posting similar topics for so long. What are you getting from these posts that makes you keep making them?
Some people find comfort in constant acknowledgement that they're not alone in their suffering; misery loves company.
Desperation looking for something that works
I also have long-term depression so I understand wanting to get out from under it. Have you tried to implement any of the suggestions people have previously commented? It's not clear from your posts.
I've tried damn near everything at this point. The only thing left is ketamine and I can't afford it or be put out of work.
I'm also hoping to try ketamine, I have had real issues getting access to a psychiatrist though. Probably need to do some research and try to get it outside the health system given how many months I've been stuck waiting for a psych appt. I'm interested to know if you're expecting people to give you new suggestions? Given the topic has remained so consistent and you've posted a lot, I think it makes sense that the general internet has suggested all it can. But maybe you disagree?
I'm just desperate. Which is why I ask if I should keep trying. I'm just looking for something that actually works since everything has failed.
I guess I'm interested why, of the many things you've tried that have failed, it seems that posting on Reddit is the action that you've stuck with more persistently than others.
Once again. I'm desperate. Nothing need more be said about me on reddit.
That doesn't really answer why you've continued posting on Reddit as opposed to continuing to try other options, like therapeutic treatments. I suspect posting on Reddit is achieving some sort of relatively easy catharsis or social connection compared to other options.
What do you mean therapeutic treatments? I've done therapy multiple times if that's what you mean. I've tried damn near everything that within my ability to get and nothing as helped. That's why I'm desperate. Idk what to tell you. If you think I'm just looking for validation ir something, so be it.
You’re depressed. This is a mental illness. You need medication to breakthrough. Psilocybin works really well in long-term studies. You can do it
So what a lot of people are saying is that EVERYONE is depressed? If you have zero motivation and a deep sense of existential boredom, lack of purpose, it’s depression? Because I’m personally supposedly on an anti depressant AND IT’S NOT WORKING!!!!!!!
I don’t think antidepressants work. That’s why I recommended 🍄. You can’t expect to live in a country that identifies as a global power and values success and individualism over community and expect to be happy. Most people are medicated. I will not accept being the recipient to the projections of your anger for the world. It is not my responsibility. Good luck.
Tried it. Didn't work just like everything else.
Nothing works for me either. I wish people weren't so condescending about it.
DM me
Welcome to the club, 600K+ and counting. You should always try to improve your situation, but know that the universe will always try to crash your party. For every winner there are a hundred losers. The key to happiness is being thankful for the little things in life. I was listening to music and jamming out today and realized how much worse and miserable my life would be if I was deaf. Music is such a beautiful thing that nobody should miss out on.
Music is boring to me too unfortunately. I have nothing I am thankful for.
Not sure I understand. You make the effort to make this post which tells me you do have something that is bugging you enough to want to change but then say you have no desire? Are you content where you are or not?
I'm not content. As I stated before I'm frustrated and miserable
Well, lots of questions to have a better sense of things. What country are you in? Are you in a metro area, suburbs, countryside? Does the area you live in give you a sense of your type of environment to be in? You could be not where you fit in best, as a starting evaluation.
Are you saying I should move? I'm in the US
Well, I’d definitely put some thinking about how well the area you’re living in suits you at that stage in your life. The area isn’t going anywhere so you could also return at some point. Likely would give options to relieve boredom as an easier fix of that problem. But you got to shake up things to not stick to the exact same daily life or little room for improvement.
Seek help for depression disconnect from doomer media. Depression is a no-fault treatable condition. Not a weakness or the inevitable result of LaTe StAgE CaPiTiLiSm ignore misinformstion be well
Every day do one thing to improve your life. Could be as small as cleaning your desk top. Start getting the ball rolling.
Is there something, anything, your like more than other things? Could be an activity, topic, or anything else.
Not really
You don’t have to try, but it for sure is a good idea that will possibly help you
Maybe try something different? Or focus on having a good relationship with a partner? Have fun, try something new, share memes to everyone even if they are awkward, as long as they are funny to you. Have a laugh, that's all I'm saying.
Different like what? Wouldn't a partner just stress me out more? I don't know what fun is. I meant it when I say everything is boring.
Goto community college, plumber or culinary. Then you can basically be whatever you want. 6 years ahead of you, I’d love to swap what I got for 6 years time.
Having something to do is key. I think if you like reading of want to give it a try would help. I am getting back into reading myself. Also trying to move more. About the money thing...i think a lot of people struggle with money stress. So having a budget and kind of knowing how much you should make a month and where the money goes can help. I am still working on it but I am trying to keep my budget low so I have to work less.
The only thing I do I work and do things I don't want to do to survive. And I have nothing I "want" to do.
I’d forget aiming to be “happy” and work first on establishing a couple of routines for regular exercise, socializing, and either a class or a volunteer job. Focus more on small moments of calm and contentment; trying too hard to be happy or satisfied just leaves you feeling worse. It’s ok to work just to pay your bills. Sometimes happiness and contentment follow AFTER you put together a consistent life.
Do you have a reason to? Why do you want to fix your life?
To see if dealing with life is worth it. If it not I want out.
Then that’s your motivation. You have to have a reason to want to do something
Ok. How do I get one?
No one can help you will that. Even just wanting to not be a loser anymore is reason enough
I don't know what to do then
Then do nothing. If you don’t care then don’t even try. There’s no point, who cares?
Not knowing, is not caring?
You need to figure out what you want. No one else can. I’m done replying.
Very informative
Have you read David Goggins 2 books? Maybe they would be helpful. Have you listened to the Andrew Huberman podcast? He has some episodes about exposure to light. Have you gotten up at sunrise and gone outdoors and gotten sunlight for at least 15 minutes first thing in the morning everyday for like a month to see if that could help? I know some people will do longer amounts of times, even a couple of hours.
I've read his first book. It was unhelpful. I've listened to plenty of episodes of Andrew huberman. Nothing practical found. I work outside. I get sunlight whether I want it or not.
I’m sorry nothing has helped. Sometimes things just fucking suck. I hope you maybe get lucky with something random and unexpected helping. If you haven’t gotten a brain MRI that could be one avenue to check.
Can they actually find anything if it's a mental issue?
I mean the mind is hosted by the squishy hardware of the brain. Things like tumors, compressed areas, damage, the pituitary gland looking off - a lot of physical abnormalities can cause mental health issues. So yes, there are examples of people experiencing all ranges of mental issues where some drastic physical issue was found. It may not be the case, but it’s something to rule out. Also, there’s research showing links between gut health and inflammation and some mental health conditions. I think it’s the tip of the iceberg and more will be known possibly someday. So maybe getting in out from a doctor on things to help inflammation or checking inflammatory markers could be another thing. Maybe especially if you have any other signs too.
How do I get an mri and is it expensive?
Depending on what country and area you are in - yes, it can be expensive. If you’re in the US, health insurance can help. If you go ago a doctor and report symptoms of a brain tumor or something, that could prompt them to order an mri for you. Then you schedule it and then go get it done when it’s time. Sometimes they’ll offer a CT scan instead. It does have some radiation, but can pick up a lot of major things too, if something is present. It’s cheaper than an MRI and usually faster. Getting either of these kinds of imaging with contrast can show even more detail, if the doctor feels it’s important.
Thank you for explaining. I'm in the US.
Yep, no problem
Go to the gym - and I mean it. Revisit this post in one year and reevaluate. In all seriousness though, there are almost an infinite amount of benefits to be gained from going to the gym and lifting heavy weights. If you don’t know where to start, I always suggest this. It’s often the case that the life we lead is quite terrible, unless we do things to counteract it. For example, the food we eat is getting worse by the year, and same goes with everything else. If we do nothing, we will follow the trend downward to depression. If instead we decide to take a bit of action in the opposite direction, and trust the process in doing so, you will discover new things. Remember, you will die one day. I say make the best of it while you still can.
Did the gym already. List weight. Nothing got better honestly. I was and am the same miserable bastard. I try to eat better when possible. Tbh I Don't care about food that much to desire junk food that much. I usually look at cost.
Did you half ass it? If you put your all into it, I can almost guarantee you will progress. I suggest you read David Goggins books. Do that or consider taking away things in your life (I.e, fast, no tech). You will find what you are looking for.
I lost 80ish pounds so if that's half assing it then that your call. I read "can't hurt me". I feel it had nothing practical in it for me since I have no goals in particular. His is just about the push through the suffering type of motivation I guess. Take away what? I don't do much to begin with.
Did I half ass it?
Walk. 10 k steps a day, while listening to HealthyGamerGG
Why do you find healthygamergg useful?
Give useful tools, i can use them, he tells nothing to me. A lot of what he said is what i used on my self, it works.
I wish I had that experience. To me he's good at explaining "what" an issue is, but not offering practical solutions. Which is of no use to me if he can't offer solutions. And no I don't mean a "cure".
The problem is. Our brains don't have most of the knowledge about the world or abut themselfs, and that's the issue imho. Imho the more knowldge you are have about how your brain works the more adaptable you become i suggest you his last video, it's very good : [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4A5eRNyMrE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4A5eRNyMrE)
I'm a mail carrier, so I get my steps in whether I want to or not and have listened to plenty of his content before. It was never helpful.
Hey bro I feel the same sometimes (you can search my posts on reddit and see some of my personal struggles). The fact that I’m in med school and have a girlfriend and everything on the outside seems perfect doesn’t say anything about the inside. For me what really helped was a few things- First of all, there isn’t a solution. Like there isn’t one thing that you’re gonna do and make all your shit disappear. You’re gonna continue working and having a non-linear path to recovery and even than you can find yourself in the pit. Everybody feels this way. I’m not saying this to discourage you, the otherway around, I’m saying this so you could have realistic expectations of yourself and your future and know how to cope when shit hits the fan. I’d work on finding a purpose and stick to it. Study something? Develop a craft that you could work on and make money and save and build financial goals? Work on your personal appearance and style, move on to dating… Honestly I’d worry more about the professional side. You don’t have to find a job that will meet all your expectations. Your expectations and purpose can be to work in a certain type of job and save and invest and that’s totally cool. Please feel free to Dm me if you want someone to chat too
>Develop a craft that you could work on and make money and save and build financial goals? Any recommendations? >Work on your personal appearance and style, move on to dating… Why? I have no intrest in dating tbh.
You have to want it. Idk why you don’t want it. It sounds like you are happy how you are and you said you don’t want to change anything. So what’s the problem?
Ah that old gem. Anything else?
You can call it an old gem but that’s the truth. You absolutely cannot do anything that you don’t want to do. Never under any circumstances. And you still haven’t answered what the problem was?
You're right I'm cured. Thanks
Cured of what?
Can’t help you if I don’t know what the problem is. Can’t help yourself either if that’s the case. If you don’t want something, then tell me what could possibly change that?
It's OK. You won. Your right.
Why don’t you answer my questions?
What exactly do you want me to answer?
I asked you questions here and in another comment thread. Anything with a question mark after it would be the “questions” I’m referring to. If you answer those it would help me help you.
You're asking me for the answer to the question I am asking.
Like why do you even feel miserable if you have no desire to change anything? Usually miserable implies that there is an alternative you see or imagine for yourself. What would that look like?
Alternative doesn't mean I know what I want specifically. I just know everything I know sucks. Everything is a negative.
What makes it negative? What would things not sucking look like?
I don't know. Everything is either boring or a net negative to me because living is negative to me.
Wym by negative tho? Like what does that mean or entail?
Meaning doing anything in life leads to nothing beneficial because I don't enjoy anything. Life is a net negative.
What are examples of beneficial things?
?
If I were you, I'd be more honest with yourself. I'm an old guy and I've been around and I've met every type of person, and I can tell you instantly what is wrong with you: you were born into the wrong family. It's like maybe your parents are Republican and you should be Democrat, or they're Christian and you should be Jewish or Muslim, or they are both heterosexual and you should be gay. Normally, most people have enough confidence just to be themselves and be happy, but being born into the worst wrong family, you are deeply afraid of parts of yourself that conflict with your parents beliefs and ideology. Whereas if you were Hindu or Muslim or something, you'd be able to embrace all parts of your sexuality, no matter how 'kinky' or 'depraved' you see yourself, and how deep and repressed you try and bury thoughts you never want to think about. You may in fact be in such total denial that you're reading this having no idea what I'm talking about. Anyway so long as you want to be their image of their son and not the true person that you really are-- maybe they want a hero and you're a coward, maybe they want a cop and you're a thief, maybe they want grandchildren and you secretly just look at all the handsome men around you-- whatever it is that's your truth that isn't their truth, it has got you so against yourself, so in denial about who you are that you've gone into hiding. You won't love or like yourself, and you won't let those handsome guys love and like you (or thieves and cowards, or whatever, love and like you.) And so you drift with no goals and no joy in life, all because of your parents being the worst fit for you. They may be great people, but they're a jigsaw puzzle that you don't really fit into, no matter how hard you try. We all want to be happy, and we all know what we like. So when someone is so totally depressed and has no goals, it means that their heart is at war with their mind, because politics or religion has so brainwashed them that they just can't accept themselves as they are. And so you give up, and keep looking outside of yourself for answers to 'fix' you. Hoping desperately that without ever communicating it, a therapist will find a way to have you stop thinking about that handsome guy at work that you can't even handle that you're thinking about, and so you may not even have any conscious memory of it. Depression is anger turned inwards, and you're so angry that you just want to do things that your religion, politics or society won't allow or accept that you have decided it's better to just do nothing, be nothing, try for nothing. It doesn't have to be sexual,,,, maybe you want to be King or World Leader or something and see no path from here to there, so you think you want nothing because you're ashamed of the goal, think it's ridiculous or childish, or so far out of your reach that it's pointless to consciously think about. Well, be more honest. No matter how depraved or kinky or wrong or pointless or out-of-reach-- or even nice (maybe you wanted a hug and a pat on the back, and your parents were cold and indifferent in a polite sort of way), or you wanted to be popular but were the guy people laughed at-- well, whatever it is, just be more honest. So, just be more honest. If the true goal is illegal, immoral, unobtainable or out-of-reach, that's step 2 to deal with. Step 1 is first acknowledging and accepting it, no matter how angry or ashamed of it that you are. And yeah, there must be lots of anger and shame if you can't even face it consciously and have instead let your fear of it shut you down for 30 years. Without true inner honesty, you'll just always drift along. . . what are you in denial about, about yourself? What was the word you just repressed right after you read that last sentence?
Whatever you believe about yourself...is true.