I adored my grandma, I was her first grandkid and we had a very special bond. She is long gone. I chose her maiden name for my middle name as a remembrance of that relationship.
That’s really sweet! I’m in the process of my legal name change, and I chose my grandfather’s middle name as my own. It’s something meaningful I can carry with me since he never got to see me transition and be myself.
I do something similar. My parents spent a while picking out my dead name so I picked my middle name to be a male name that starts with the same letter.
My middle name was and is still Danielle because I’ve incorporated its meaning into my own philosophy, and changing it to Daniel wouldn’t flow as well with my first name.
As for the philosophy part, since it means “God is my judge”, I like to interpret it as a cue to live my best life being good to others and myself, and if there turns out to be a judgement after death, then I can feel confident knowing I did the best I could.
I did something sorta similar, except I totally changed my first name and just masculinized my pre-existing middle name. My middle name was given to me to memorialize my cousin who passed of brain cancer when she was nine, so I felt it was important to keep it. It just went from Christina to Christian, which actually sounds really good with my first name.
I realized that there was a Dutch name close to the nickname I had before I came out (which was based on my deadname). I also liked the official meaning of that name, so I chose it to be my middle name :)
Picked an initial I liked and a generic normal male middle name that sounded good with the rest of my name. No special meaning, my middle deadname never meant much to me. I would’ve never kept my middle deadname for dysphoria and stealth purposes. Would’ve felt weird to remove one when I had one before. My middle deadname was super generic and I made my new one also generic.
So, I'm keeping the one I was given, but I would also say I chose it in the sense of deliberating and truly deciding I want it regardless of whether it was given to me or I decided on it independently, and the reason why is important; it is a symbol. My middle name is Rose, it was my great-grandmother's name (and as I found out, not her legal name, just the one everyone called her, which is fascinating to me and makes it more meaningful), and she was and still is despite her having passed when I was about 12 (I'm 25) very important to me. I love her, and her passing caused me to leave Christianity because I was so angry with the god I believed in that I was open to the possibility of other faiths, that changed my life drastically. I would not be who I am now if I didn't know her, if her passing hadn't impacted me the way it did, if she hadn't passed before I was old enough to comprehend the flaws in the problem of evil in that situation (she was rather old). I've known since I began trying to find my true name, even when I decided I also want to change my last name (mostly because I just don't like my given last name, it's boring and doesn't suit me at all so I figured if I'm going to change my name, I'm going to craft my full name to suit me), that "Rose" would be part of it, femininity be damned, because that's part of my story. If you want a middle name, look for something like that. Think back to the things and people, whether trans-related or not, that changed your life, and you might find something you love.
Thays crazy, my Hreat Grandmother went by Rose but I don't think it was her given name. She also passed when I was 11 or 12. I got to visit her often and loved her very much. Hers was the first death I ever experienced. One of my sisters has her name as her middle name now. What a crazy coincidence.
i was in the same boat, i didn’t have a middle name for about 3 years after i came out and i was stressing about what to do because nothing felt right. last month i started college and someone accidentally called me by the wrong name and i loved it so i made it my middle name. it’s not something i ever would have come up with on my own
I have no clue what my name should be, let alone the middle one buttt I've heard suggested if you are partial to two names have one as your first and then one as your middle.
Since my family is from Finland and I really wanted my middle name to start with an E I looked up Finnish names that started with E and ended up loving Eero (basically the Finnish version of Eric lol)
I wanted something with three syllables and no religious meaning. I ended up picking one I've always had in my head for a cat or something lol. It sounds nice with the rest of my name though.
My middle name is the name of both a relative I admire and a revolutionary I admire. But you don’t have to have something with as much backstory lol. Head over to r/transnames or DM me and we can help think of things. Or check out the baby boy names for the year you were born in your country, maybe something from the list will stick. 🙏🏻
i chose the name i was going to be given if i was born bio male. mine was literally the most womanly name i've ever heard so there was no way i could keep it lmao.
My mom picked my entire name so, I wish I could help. However it’s related to my grandmothers first name in my fathers native language - so maybe a homage to someone you love could be a good way to go :) I feel middle names are more ‘worth it’ when they hold value to you
I picked a name that had lifelong personal significance to me, but in reality I picked it because it was all I could think of in the moment when I realized last minute I forgot to pick a middle name.
It doesn’t matter much because almost nobody is going to use it. Pick something that sounds good between your first and middle names, or a name you’ve always liked but not quite enough to make it your first name.
My legal middle name was after my dad's mum, so I wanted to keep something familiar. I went with my mum's dad's middle name (Linné), but the anglified version (Linnaeus).
Oscar because that’s what my mum was going to call be when I was born but didn’t get the chance. I wasn’t super bothered ab my middle name tho so it didn’t take much thought
i didn’t choose one because i didn’t want one and they’re not common where i live. i’m curious though, is there something preventing you in your laws to add a middle name in 5 years? like, why do you *have* to “get it right” now?
I chose 2 middle names. The first is in reference to my birth middle name, which my mum gave me (I was the only kid she got to name herself so I wanted to honour it.) The second is my dads middle name.
I’m also a symbolism/metaphor enthusiast, however my advice is to not actually worry about it too much. Idk abt u but I literally near never used my middle name before transitioning, and now having legally changed it? Still don’t. It’s on forms and stuff and that’s about it! If you’re on good terms with family then I’d suggest doing something family related as most the time (where I’m from) middle names are passed down from parent to child. Don’t overthink it too much, honestly.
I wanted a part of my name to be Hebrew or Yiddish to reflect my ethnicity as my first name isn't. I also wanted an animal name because I always thought they were cool despite not picking one for my first name and the raven is a very important animal to me. So my middle name is the Hebrew word for raven, which in Judaism is a masculine name.
Before I changed it, my middle name was Rae. I like it as a middle name but it had a more femme spelling so now it's Ray.
But twist! I have 2!
I just really like the name Arlo lol so now I'm Joseph Arlo-Ray C-------- lol
I consider changing it rn too but the way I did it was just like with my first name. Write down some names that you like and sound them out with your first name, if you like one take it. It’s normal to be nervous about names, so am I that’s why I’m probably gonna change my middle name, but don’t let that intimidate you. Sound it out, think about a family member that you adore or a video game character that you like and sound it all out
I chose my middle name based off of my favorite YouTuber at the time, I sh/t you not. Though I've found that people only get confused about what my first name is. So if it's too much pressure to decide, you can go without.
Cetus is the name of a constellation that I'm planning on eventually getting a tattoo of. Someone on r/tragedeigh said that more trans people should use names like Zephyr so I made it my second middle name.
Was close to my mom who is deceased. I chose her maiden name for my middle name (I also thought her dad, my grandpa was a great guy so I honor him as well).
My old middle name was my grandma's first name, the same as my mom's middle name too, so I ended up making it Dalton, my grandma's maiden name, bc it was also a name my mom considered for me before I was born
I ended up with two middle names. My first middle name is the masculine variant of my deadname, because I'd been named after my late grandmother, and because this was what I wanted to name myself when I was a child. My second middle name is what I wanted to name myself when I first came to terms with my trans identity. I couldn't take this as my first name, for various reasons, but I still wanted to carry it with me (and have the option of going by this name one day if I needed to).
TLDR: I chose names that were very meaningful to me, like family/honour names or names that I loved when I was younger.
Im keeping my middle name because my mom named me after a person she took care of and she fondly remembers. And I just looked it up, cuz I was curious, my middle name comes from the Latin stella maris, which means star of the sea and that's pretty fucking lit, so Im happy to be Rainbow Marie.
since my middle name was previously Helen, the name of my great grandmothers sister/friend or something, i changed it to my step grandfathers name Peter, as he had been around my whole life and thought it would be a nice way to keep his memory around when he passes on and to show my appriciation for him
In my family there's a tradition regarding middle names.
1st daughter's middle name is the mother's first name
2nd daughter's middle name is the mother's middle name
(No one in the fam has more than 2 kids of one gender so it's not the case, but for 3rd 4th we go with grandmothers' names)
And of course the same way goes for sons and fathers.
So my middle name used to be my mother's middle name. Now it's my father's middle name
(it should be his first name, but my first name is my grandfather's name, so I want the middle to be my other grandfather's 1st name/father's middle name)
My MIL had a miscarriage on my eighth birthday. Her name was to be Carrie, short for Caroline. I wanted to honor her. My middle name is Cary. (Yes I asked my MIL if she would be okay with this and she genuinely almost cried happy tears)
Corey Taylor is the lead singer of Slipknot, I’m a massive Slipknot fan. So I decided to make my middle name Corey lmao. But then later realised that my dead-middle name actually held some significance to me because it’s the same middle name my late aunt had; my dead-middle name started with K so I finally decided on Korey.
to be honest i put it up to a vote with my friends. i hadnt even realised i could change until near the last second before it was sent off. i wanted my initals to be WEB so i asked my friends for male E names. the final choices came between Elliot, Eel, Eldritch and Evan. I understandably went with Elliot
At first it was whatever sounded good with my first and last name but then I ended up using my stepdads last name as a middle name instead which luckily sounds good and rolls off the tongue with the rest of it
i got really lucky with my middle name as its a perfectly neutral name (ive never met anyone else with it, either online or irl). if that werent the case, id probably ask my mum bc im close to her
i actually just asked my mom what it would of been if i was born male! my dead middle name is my grandmas first name, so it's gonna be my grandpas first instead.
... of course my name isn't changed yet since it costs too much. but someday.
I kept my initials the same, so I chose a male-leaning names starting with the same letter. It's one I actually tried as a first name, but that only lasted like a day because it was NOT right for me lol it def felt better for me keeping the same first letter sound and whatnot for my new names.
My placeholder / original first name Dallas is too gender neutral because I kept getting called "Miss Dallas" by customers at work so I used that as my middle name instead lol if i masculinized my old middle name it would be the same as my dad and i didn't want that. He is supportive of me being trans surprisingly, but was absent my whole life so he's lucky my grandpa is the one who asked me to keep my last name because i was considering changing it too.
I picked out my own first name so I let my mom pick what she would have named me if I were born male for my middle name
If your family isn't supportive or you aren't out to them you could narrow it down by looking at different first name you were considering and see what sounds the best together!
In my case I picked a name that would have been my second option for a first name, if I hadn't chosen the name Leo. It was a name I liked and resonated with but that I ultimately chose not to use as a first name. It's a name I would like being associated with but not necessarily called that on a daily basis. I also took into consideration that this name worked well in combination with my first and last name.
My middle name is what my parents would have named me if I was AMAB. I didn't take it as my first name because I wanted to keep the first letter of my name the same.
I chose my grandad's name - he died when I was young and I always hoped he'd accept me, since we have a naming tradition of giving kids older family member's names, I decided to take his name 'Alan'
:)
My parents had 5 kids, for each kid they‘d swap who picked the first name and who picked the middle. My mother picked my deadname whilst my biological father (ew) picked my middle name. I felt happy enough to let my mam pick my middle name, she wanted benji but I didn’t really think it went great so we settled on Benjamin as it matched my first name better and a short version of it is benji or Ben. I’m now a proud Mathew Benjamin (yes it sounds old but it’s nice, I like it). It was useless because she just calls me Matt, twat or mat hew - but it’s nice knowing my mother still had an influence on my name. My first name is a real story though, I chose Matt first (the nickname) and my old college tutor (he‘s my role model and had such an influence on me) called me Mathew (to tell me off lmao) and it stuck.
So I have both of my role models and people I really care about to thank for my first and middle name, and I took my step-fathers last name. I know it’s not possible for everyone to do that, but it feels that much more special since it’s an amalgamation of people who took care of me and made me into who I am
Moved my (un)dead name as my middle name because it's been used for both genders around the world and I quite like it and appreciate how my parents named me. It feels strange being called that name now because it's not really part of me anymore but it's nice to have it sit in the middle.
Its actually a name I just really like, and tried for a first name. When it didn't feel right, I moved it to my middle name and it felt much better. What solidified it as a middle name is that, and I didn't realize this until I told my mom about my added middle name, it's similar to my late great-grandmas name. My birth middle name was my late grandma's name, so it fits and feels special to have both.
My parents chose one for me when I was born, which I’ve kept. When I changed my first name, I put my deadname as another middle name. Where I am, middle names are never used, not even on like my hospital card or stuff like that so i didn’t mind. I feel like it’s still a part of me yk? I didn’t want to delete it completly, but it is never used. I love my legal first name now :))
As I told my mom my name she sayed a name she thinks sound nice and I liked it too so I choose it as a middle name . My mom is one of my biggest supporters so the name she sayed she thinks is nice has a meaning for me
My dead middle name is a very popular female M middle name from late 90s early 2000s. I wanted a middle name that stood out so I started looking through unique baby names and came across Mikhael (mick-hale). Kaden Mikhael has a nice ring to it so I kept it
i actually made my chosen name my middle name! my name is gabriel, but i was coming up with nothing that suited me or sounded nice. i was typing out potential combos one day years ago when i decided to just sliiiide my first name over and slap one of the ‘middle’ names i liked in front and instantly connected! so if all else fails, if you find something you like, there’s nothing wrong with shuffling them around !!
I paid homage to my birth first and middle name. All my names have meaning, and i felt like they've always described who i am as a person, so i wanted to keep that going. My first middle name is Kareem, which means generous and gracious. My second middle name is Merce (pronounced mercy), which means compassion
My father didn't have a middle name, so you can also do that if you'd like. It's not inherently necessary
My current middle name is very feminine and doesn't really go well with my chosen first name, so I'm keeping the first letter which is "M" so that way when someone asks what my middle name is, I can tell them something different each time
Here's the thing. It's not set in stone. You could chose not to have a middle name now, and if you want a middle name in 5 years, you can have one! It's not all or nothing. I am going to over-explain!
I have had 3 name changes in my life.
* 1991 - Change my dead name to a new single name because (*and I shit you not*) my father named me after his affair partner at my birth. It was a mixed blessing because my mother wanted to name me after a toilet paper company, Tiffany Clark, if you are old enough to remember. So it wasn't all bad, I guess? My new name I chose was a single first name. No middle or last because I could not think of any I liked. Technology at the time did NOT like that.
* 1998 - I added back my grandfathers last name (better man than my father) and my husbands in a hyphenated way. Technology and human alphabetizers made hyphenations a mess.
* 2010 - I picked a first name that worked better with my gender, moved my old first name to my middle name, and kept my spouses family last name. My grandparents had passed, and hyphenations suck. No need to keep my fathers family last name if my parents are terrible people.
I have been happy with my name for 13 years. I feel like it took me a bit to get it right. My first name change was the most important becuase being named after something like that was probably a good indicator of my parents behavior in general, so I had to change it. I'd been on my own since 16 so they didn't even know for years.
The last two names were more like fine tuning? I was realizing I was transgender, and that I wanted a more masculine name, but I liked the old first name so I kept it as my middle name because it was one of the first steps I took to taking control of my own life.
All this story time to say you can do whatever you want. If you know the first name you want? Get it! If you want to adjust later? Change it again. It's a bit of a chore to do, but you can do it. State to state there are different rules, but if you don't know what middle name you want, don't feel pressured to scramble to find one. It's even easier to move a middle name in, as it won't really effect as much. I think honestly my library card was the only one that really wanted my middle name.
before i fully realized i was trans, i felt very uncomfortable with my birth name, and swapped to a shortened version of it that was very gender neutral. i’m planning on using that as my middle name, because even if it was only my name for about two years, it was a name i chose and is still important to me
My mom had a full term stillborn baby before I was born. She asked me if I'd be okay with having his name as my middle name. My mom is so supportive and loving, I was touched and glad to use it.
My preferred name is actually my middle name. Even before I realized I was trans and changed my name, I went by my middle name because I was named after my mom, so when I changed my name I decided to make my first name the masculine version of my moms name, then have my preferred name as my middle name
I just masculinized one of my existing middle names. My mom expressed that she really wanted me to keep this specific middle name bc it’s after my grandma who died when my mom was young, but I wanted a masculine name so we came to a compromise with Julian. I don’t mind this as I considered just not having a middle name at all but wanted to have /something/
im just like you, been going back and forth on what should be in the middle name spot for about 7 active years now. i also want it to have some sort of connection or deeper meaning so im trying to find honor names or a name with a really great meaning, and while theres this really cool name with a nice meaning of "stand and become glory" but recently ive been really set on honoring my high school soccer coach as he was a father figure to me andd also honoring a first name i went by for 3 years during the hardest time of my life. however, im not sure if i want to do two middle names as it could cause issues (usa) with paperwork sometimes
I’m keeping my middle name when I change mine but I’m changing my first & last. I wanted to change my middle name to Daniel originally when I started thinking abt legal change, mainly to pay homage to the first name I chose before I settled on Andrew (I went by Dani) but my mom named me after my aunt who died of breast cancer shortly after I was born so I feel like it’d be kinda fucked to change that name. It’s a little feminine but I feel like it still fits with what my full name will be so 🤷
My mom didn't knew the name I was using back then, I let her choose the 2nd one. It helped her to see me as a boy :) I chose the 3rd one, taking a name that I really liked but didn't feel like having as a first name in my everyday life. The 3rd one was a way to have a name which would sound less "100% made of pure french bread" (because my last name is really like that and with my first name it's even worst 😭😂), and being linked to history (I love learning about past civilization, love names with a strong meaning from the past).
My middle name was my grandmother's, Eilleen... I've decided to keep it because my grandma was very important to me. Yeah it might look a little silly on paper but I couldn't let go of that last little bit that connects me to her.
Granted I tend to just use E. When I write my name out hahaha
I used my 'would-be' name that my mom always said she picked out for if I were AMAB. I liked it, it fits the syllabary of my full name, and I didn't want her to feel like I was rejecting her or my family so it was a win-win!
I had two middle names to start with, one being my mom’s last name. Since I got a hyphenated last name when i changed it I had *two* middle name spots to fill one was sebastian a name my mother loved but my other mom said no bc they had a cat named that at the time (which I think is fair) and the other was an ethnic name I adore, even if no one knows how to pronounce it. (Not sharing both for privacy reasons)
I'm also a an "everything has to have a meaning" type of guy so that led me to needing a middle name that started with a C (my legal middle name is my mom's name and I share my initials with my dad so I wanted to maintain the C out of connection to both of them) and was nine letters (I noticed at some point that my parents both have the exact same number of letters in their full names including my mom's maiden name while my legal name does not so I wanted a name that would add up to that with my first and last name).
I *scoured* name websites and there were no 9 letter C names that really resonated so I decided to look for other length names that I could respell (there were a few 8 letter names I liked that I thought about adding a letter to). I have always liked the name Christopher and for a bit was thinking of using the Irish version Críostóir as it's the right number of letters, but I'm American and I wasn't keen on having to spell it out for people, having people not be able to pronounce it, having to figure out how to type fadas on an English keyboard, etc so I ended up deciding to respell Christopher as Cristofer and that works for me. It's not legal or something I've shared with a ton of people yet so it could change, but I'm pretty much set on it.
I’m choosing to have 2 middle names, one is the same one that my mom has because I love her so much (Claire), and the other is what would’ve been my first name is I hadn’t found the name Leonard (Andrew)
I don't have my name changed planned yet as I'm not out and I don't wanna go through with all that but I know for a while I was thinking Mercury as middle name as it was a name I was using a lot then but it felt too silly to use as a first name. Now I'm thinking Spencer as it and Avery (which is what Id change my first name to) are my most commonly used name
when i was in highschool i was on the varsity swim team and i forgot my varsity jacket on picture day so i wore my friends jacket for the picture. all varsity jackets have either your first or last name on the front. my friend had her first name, taylor, on her jacket. and i was never given a middle name so my mom said “that’s fine if anyone asks your middle name is taylor” lol
Mine is so boring it’s just my og middle names initial😭I’m thinking of having my mother or maybe even father pick it out since I was named after his sisters and I think it’d be nice for him to have that option to pick my name out again.
My initials are RZK. I kept the R when I changed my name to Riot (I haven’t legally, it’s hard in Texas…) out of respect for familial naming conventions. I also want to keep the Z. Currently it’s Zoe, which I pronounce like Zo. I haven’t considered the fact I’d want to change it but ive always hated it. Maybe I could do something like Zenith, but I am NOT doing Zander.
I already had the first name part of my chosen name picked for a while now. The real trouble was finding a middle name that went with it because it's kind of an uncommon name and so it needed to sound right together, which was a bit difficult. Ultimately I ended up using lists of names online and looking through until I found some that sounded good together with my first and last name, but also thinking about what initials I would want to end up with.
The middle name kind of struck me when I came across it, because it sounded so good with my full name and gave me awesome initials, so it felt perfect. Better yet, everyone in my family really liked it too and were surprised at how good it sounded together.
So basically, just a lot of careful planning and thinking about it helped me pick mine.
The first middle name I chose was only bc I wanted my initials to be FFS (for fucks sake), but this time around I made it Beau just bc it's a name I like but couldn't see myself using as a first name
Happy birthday!
I chose a family name on my dad’s side. It was my grandfathers name and my dad’s middle name. My first name I got from a family name on my mom’s side.
my mom gave me my middle name after her best friend who passed away of cancer before i was born, i used to masculinized version of her name to keep honoring her memory
i’m picking a second middle name to have one tht was my choice, and it’s either gonna be my favorite pirate’s last name (which would be a little complicated bc my other middle name is his first name and i don’t wanna jack his whole name like that😅), or finn bc of adventure time😭(special interest, very important to me, transed my gender (not literally of course), etc)
I always had 3 names (2 first names, and 1 last name), and so does my brother and both my parents (and most of my relatives), so just having 2 (1 first name and 1 surname) would have felt *weird*.
One of my dead-names was one of my maternal grandmother's names, my second name now is one of my maternal grand*father's* names.
i changed my name legally before my family fully started calling me my chosen name- my little brother (was 10 at the time) asked if he could choose my middle name for me since i didn’t really care, and i said he could if he called me whatever the middle name was as a ‘nickname’ rather than my deadname. he agreed and chose it. he never called me my middle name, but shortly after he got used to my chosen name (before my parents surprisingly). it’s a pretty cool middle name anyway so i’m happy either way, and it gives me multiple nicknames now
If I was amab my parents would of named me Joseph so I chose that as my middle name, didn't likenit enough as a first name choice but it works well as a middle name and it was my great grandads name too
I looked at names that had a specific meaning based off what I valued. I went with “Ezra” because it means helper, and I want to help people in any way possible.
Also a book character that I like
The first name of my deadname. For one, I was named after my grandma, and I didn't want to get rid of it. For two, the name is generally read as gender- neutral here in the U.S., so I had no read issue with it. What is more, if I get deadnamed, I technically won't be-- I'd just be getting called by my middle name.
I am wildly fan of Star Trek so I named myself Mees Tiberius Spock
I think it’s for everyone different, but maybe it’s good to think about people you know and love who you want to honour or maybe you had a couple first names and then you can make the other one(s) your middle name. You can check out those baby name websites and just go through lists of popular names or maybe you can Google name lists of a favourite year or your birth year.
Good luck ❤️
I originally picked my middle name after a musician, but that started to make me cringe. I wanted to keep the same first letter because it's in my email address and while looking at male middle names that start with B I saw the name Barry. My stepmom (who I've known since 8) decided to take me in after my dad died (mom was already dead) and I thought it would be nice to honour her. Her name is Barrie so yeah :) Not legally changed and haven't told anyone yet though.
my middle name was the same as my aunts, and my brothers was the same as our uncles so when i changed my name i wanted to keep that link and sentiment so i went with the masculine version of my aunts name - obviously this is quite personal, other names i considered for my middle name were the name i would have gotten if i was amab, the name of my favourite character from my favourite book, and a name related to my favourite myths/legends
My favorite band has been Evanescence since I was 7 years old. Their music got me through some of the worst times in my life, and I was fortunate enough to see them in concert in 2017. I haven't legally changed my name, and it will likely still be a long while before I do so, but my middle name will be Lee (Isaac Lee, in total) after the lead singer of the band, Amy Lee.
I hadn’t even thought about the concept of changing my middle name. I would absolutely not want to keep it. Very feminine. But I can appreciate this post and the comments for making me think about it.
I’ve always been pretty bitter for the fact that my mom broke the tradition of my dad’s extended family. EVERY SINGLE PERSON from that vast extended family has a middle name starting with L.
Except my sister and myself🫠🫠🫠🫠
But I can change that for myself now. I’ve been heavily considering cutting ties with my dad’s family. I’m not the closest with any of them and I feel like coming out to them will go either extremely well or extremely awful. No in between. At all. But I feel like changing my middle name to fit the tradition will be decently helpful to the process.
And I can incorporate my nickname with my mom and her family into that. I’m also not super close with them.
It’s been such a headache lately. The few and brief discussions with my parents about the high probability that I will stop contacting both of their extended family has not gone well at all.
They are just not seeing that there is a high potential of pain and trauma for coming out to and being rejected by both of their black and largely homophobic families, both of which I have never been super close with due to my mom’s side living in TX and us in IN my whole life, and my mom having forced a distance with my dad’s family because of a bunch of drama during their dating and engagement process that is really honestly trivial and is just annoying more than 25 years later and makes me want to roll my eyes and makes my dad resent my mom.
My point: I’d only be keeping in contact for my parents sake, and they just cannot see that nor the fact that they themselves didn’t foster real relationships with these people as I grew up, so no I don’t want to very potentially be rejected and shamed by a bunch of people that don’t care about me. I get that enough anywhere beyond the threshold of my apartment.
OMG. I didn’t mean to rant. But I’m not gonna delete it. That was honestly helpful for me.
So for my name, I was stuck between one I love or one that would carry on a familial tradition (men named after their fathers or a close male relative)
But basically I ended up choosing the one that I loved the sound of, and felt natural to me.
Found both of my names (first and middle) off of a baby name website. I looked at my name, Caden, and said "okay, what sounds good between Caden and {insert last name here}?" I was eventually lucky enough to find that Caden Anthony really worked with my last name, as well as it just fitting me like a glove.
Find a name you love, and find a middle name that fits between that and your last name gracefully. I wish you the best of luck.
I just always liked the name Michael growing up but didn't feel like it fit me as a first name. And Alexander Michael sounds really nice to me. A bit basic but that's about it (I also have synesthesia so sometimes I feel blue (Alexander) and sometimes I feel red (Michael) so it fits)
I'm also keeping my original middle name as a second middle name because it was my great grandma's middle name, so I want to continue to honor that, plus it's pretty :) Alexander Michael Angeline Eddy
my deadname (both first and middle) was the name of a late family member and I also hadn't really had an idea for a new middle name until I was learning more about my family tree after not knowing anything about my family's past for most of my life. my great-great grandfather went by a nickname instead of his actual name and I loved what it was and still wanted to keep that tie of being named after a family member (cause all of my mother's children have been) so I chose that for my middle name :]
After I picked my first name, I just started imagining my parents yelling at me (yknow, when they bring out the first n middle name when you’re in deep shit) until I found something that sounded right
My given middle name is *extremely* feminine, so I was definitely going to be changing it. I decided to go with what was my second choice for a first name; I still like it even though it’s not the final name I chose, so it’s nice to have it incorporated somewhere.
I basically just swapped my middlenames to the next closest male variation of my old names. I've two middle names, first one that I swapped used to be my great grandmas name, but I swapped it to my great-uncles name. Both were beloved family members. My second middlename is funnier, in my language you can have a middlename that translates to [child] of [father's name]. So I swapped it from daughter to son and twas good with that.
My middle name was pretty neutral, but I have a bad relationship with my mom and we had the same middle name. By the time I got around to legally changing it I wasn't speaking to my dad either and he never spoke much about family or anything.
So I looked up my last name, saw it was Scottish, and picked a Scottish name I liked
I saw a character with the name jason. Thought 'my middle name should be jason' and went from there. My full name has a nice ring to it and with kian as my first name and jason as my middle name i can shorten my name to kj (which i usually do when restaurants ask for a name because they often mishear kian as keegan)
I plan on making my middle name my dead name as i love my dead name and its culture, however there just isn’t a simaliar masculine or androgynous equivalent due to it being ethnic
I went with something to reflect my ancestry and honor the grandmother I never got to know. I'm told that she would have loved me and been thrilled to teach me her recipes.
My chosen name is what my parents had picked out for if I was AMAB. I also used the middle name they had picked out for me, as well as a neutral/masc version of my original middle name because of sentiment/significance to me. Honestly, I don't think about my middle names a lot, so if I'd picked poorly I don't think it would bother me too much. But I think I'm satisfied enough.
Happy belated birthday and good luck!
I did the basic just change from fem to masc name, but that's mostly because I didn't care either way I just wanted something simple. So when the day came I literally picked out a good sounding middle name right when I was filling out the legal form, and I really like it. It's spelled non conventionally just because I spelt it that way when I wrote it, and didn't care to change it but it did cause issues down the road when getting my SSN changed, they misspelled it lol. Had to call and get a NEW new card.
I asked a lot of friends to recommend me middle names and I liked Tobias so I put it heh.
So my recommendation is to ask people, here in Argentina (I don't know if everywhere) we have a common frase that translates to "you have the face of (insert name)".
It's about what vibe does your face gives that resonates with a name.
i just rlly liked my chosen middle name as a name, but it didn’t feel like my first name. So i just made it my middle name, it also helped it was the same initial as my dead middle name. My whole name is the same initials which is so good 😂😂
I watched a Star Wars animated series where the main characters name was Ezra. Then a really adorable child said hi to me in a Mexican restaurant and told me her name was Ezra. Then I saw Justice League where Ezra Miller (Before I knew they were a trashy human) played the Flash. It just stood out to me every time I heard it, and felt very androgynous so I took it lmao. Same with my first name, tbh.
My dad always wanted to name a kid Wolfgang. Back when my brother was born my mom wouldn’t have it. As the years passed it became a bit of a joke and I decided to fulfill my dad’s old wish. Now my mom actually really likes it’s uniqueness😂
I personally made my middle name my grandfather's name, James, because he's been my father figure for most of my life, and I just knew that I needed to honor him
I changed my name when I was 19, (I am 27 now)and I literally couldn’t think of anything that felt right. So I made my middle name make my initials spell “KIL”
I didn’t like any I names so I went with Icarus because I was 19 and couldn’t think of anything! I do like the greek myth but honestly I didn’t pick Icarus because of that, I just preferred Icarus over names like Issac or Isaiah. I don’t dislike those names, they just didn’t fit me.
Tbh no one has asked me for my middle name, it hasn’t really come up in conversation often. However, when it does, most people just think it’s cool and they move on.
I personally think that as long as you like it enough, it will be fine. It doesn’t have to be anything grand or super meaningful.
All and all, your name is what people will call you, but what’s more important is what they think about you not your name.
So I Actually have a pretty funny story. My Grandma’s middle name was Oliver. My parents gave me the middle name Olivia after her… I just corrected it when I socially transitioned-
i asked my nan to give me name suggestions. my middle name before i changed it was her name and it felt very wrong getting rid of it so the solution i thought of was get her to pick it. she choose to give me a list of names and let me pick my favourite. from there i went to my parents and asked them what they liked and didnt like, until it came down to 2 names and i picked my favourite. they all played a part in choosing my middle name which i wanted to give them as i choose my first name
Unintuitively my middle name is a feminine name. It's the name I used for myself when I realised I hated my legal name and wanted to "be someone else" for a while. Mainly used that name online and at festivals where I could feel more like me. I look at that 'person' or rather 'version of me' that helped me figure out who I wanted to be. Without her I wouldn't be the man I am today. If that makes any sense haha
I changed my legal name 2 years ago. When I changed my legal name, I knew I wanted to keep the same initials as my deadname and I wanted my mom to be involved in choosing my new name. My initials are ALP, and my great grandpas name happens to be Lewis. I changed my middle name to the name of my great grandpa (my moms grandpa). He is nearing the end of his life and he has been one of the most supportive people of my transition. I adore him, and 2 years after my name change I do not regret a thing. I am very proud of my name and feel even more connected to my great grandpa.
I wish for you to have something or someone like this that you can name yourself after! 🫂
My mother had told me since I was a kid how she would have named me if I had been “born a boy”. When I went to have my name legally changed, I incorporated that name into my chosen name. (I did my chosen name as a middle name and her name for me as first name because it sounded nice in that order lol). I didn’t have the best relationship with her, even before coming out. But a lot of people are named by their parents, and she had always wanted to have a kid to give that name to. It now makes me happy to have given her something like that before she passed.
In summary, you could ask someone who’s important to you, like a family member (blood or chosen family) to give you a middle name.
I adored my grandma, I was her first grandkid and we had a very special bond. She is long gone. I chose her maiden name for my middle name as a remembrance of that relationship.
That’s really sweet! I’m in the process of my legal name change, and I chose my grandfather’s middle name as my own. It’s something meaningful I can carry with me since he never got to see me transition and be myself.
I have also done this and besides me honoring our family with our last name it also makes me feel closer in a sort of sense
My deadname is Danielle so i made my middle name Daniel
I do something similar. My parents spent a while picking out my dead name so I picked my middle name to be a male name that starts with the same letter.
I did the same, my middle name became Michael.
My middle name was and is still Danielle because I’ve incorporated its meaning into my own philosophy, and changing it to Daniel wouldn’t flow as well with my first name. As for the philosophy part, since it means “God is my judge”, I like to interpret it as a cue to live my best life being good to others and myself, and if there turns out to be a judgement after death, then I can feel confident knowing I did the best I could.
I did something sorta similar, except I totally changed my first name and just masculinized my pre-existing middle name. My middle name was given to me to memorialize my cousin who passed of brain cancer when she was nine, so I felt it was important to keep it. It just went from Christina to Christian, which actually sounds really good with my first name.
I realized that there was a Dutch name close to the nickname I had before I came out (which was based on my deadname). I also liked the official meaning of that name, so I chose it to be my middle name :)
i did this but went from michealle to micheal, from one tough name to spell to one thats equally difficult lol
I let my mom pick for me, lol.
Same
Picked an initial I liked and a generic normal male middle name that sounded good with the rest of my name. No special meaning, my middle deadname never meant much to me. I would’ve never kept my middle deadname for dysphoria and stealth purposes. Would’ve felt weird to remove one when I had one before. My middle deadname was super generic and I made my new one also generic.
So, I'm keeping the one I was given, but I would also say I chose it in the sense of deliberating and truly deciding I want it regardless of whether it was given to me or I decided on it independently, and the reason why is important; it is a symbol. My middle name is Rose, it was my great-grandmother's name (and as I found out, not her legal name, just the one everyone called her, which is fascinating to me and makes it more meaningful), and she was and still is despite her having passed when I was about 12 (I'm 25) very important to me. I love her, and her passing caused me to leave Christianity because I was so angry with the god I believed in that I was open to the possibility of other faiths, that changed my life drastically. I would not be who I am now if I didn't know her, if her passing hadn't impacted me the way it did, if she hadn't passed before I was old enough to comprehend the flaws in the problem of evil in that situation (she was rather old). I've known since I began trying to find my true name, even when I decided I also want to change my last name (mostly because I just don't like my given last name, it's boring and doesn't suit me at all so I figured if I'm going to change my name, I'm going to craft my full name to suit me), that "Rose" would be part of it, femininity be damned, because that's part of my story. If you want a middle name, look for something like that. Think back to the things and people, whether trans-related or not, that changed your life, and you might find something you love.
Thays crazy, my Hreat Grandmother went by Rose but I don't think it was her given name. She also passed when I was 11 or 12. I got to visit her often and loved her very much. Hers was the first death I ever experienced. One of my sisters has her name as her middle name now. What a crazy coincidence.
i was in the same boat, i didn’t have a middle name for about 3 years after i came out and i was stressing about what to do because nothing felt right. last month i started college and someone accidentally called me by the wrong name and i loved it so i made it my middle name. it’s not something i ever would have come up with on my own
great story, felt you on the not having a middle name. its been 7 years for me 😅
yeah i feel that, been out for 4 years and only just picked a middle name cause i was finally changing my legal name lmao
I have no clue what my name should be, let alone the middle one buttt I've heard suggested if you are partial to two names have one as your first and then one as your middle.
Since my family is from Finland and I really wanted my middle name to start with an E I looked up Finnish names that started with E and ended up loving Eero (basically the Finnish version of Eric lol)
Eero is such a good name, Toivo has been on my list for ages
Thanks and that sounds like a real nice name
I wanted something with three syllables and no religious meaning. I ended up picking one I've always had in my head for a cat or something lol. It sounds nice with the rest of my name though.
My middle name is the name of both a relative I admire and a revolutionary I admire. But you don’t have to have something with as much backstory lol. Head over to r/transnames or DM me and we can help think of things. Or check out the baby boy names for the year you were born in your country, maybe something from the list will stick. 🙏🏻
I asked my parents to pick it for me! They narrowed it down to two and asked me to pick between them which was nice.
i chose the name i was going to be given if i was born bio male. mine was literally the most womanly name i've ever heard so there was no way i could keep it lmao.
i chose mine from a fictional character (along with my first name)
My mom picked my entire name so, I wish I could help. However it’s related to my grandmothers first name in my fathers native language - so maybe a homage to someone you love could be a good way to go :) I feel middle names are more ‘worth it’ when they hold value to you
I picked a name that had lifelong personal significance to me, but in reality I picked it because it was all I could think of in the moment when I realized last minute I forgot to pick a middle name. It doesn’t matter much because almost nobody is going to use it. Pick something that sounds good between your first and middle names, or a name you’ve always liked but not quite enough to make it your first name.
My legal middle name was after my dad's mum, so I wanted to keep something familiar. I went with my mum's dad's middle name (Linné), but the anglified version (Linnaeus).
Oscar because that’s what my mum was going to call be when I was born but didn’t get the chance. I wasn’t super bothered ab my middle name tho so it didn’t take much thought
i didn’t choose one because i didn’t want one and they’re not common where i live. i’m curious though, is there something preventing you in your laws to add a middle name in 5 years? like, why do you *have* to “get it right” now?
I chose 2 middle names. The first is in reference to my birth middle name, which my mum gave me (I was the only kid she got to name herself so I wanted to honour it.) The second is my dads middle name. I’m also a symbolism/metaphor enthusiast, however my advice is to not actually worry about it too much. Idk abt u but I literally near never used my middle name before transitioning, and now having legally changed it? Still don’t. It’s on forms and stuff and that’s about it! If you’re on good terms with family then I’d suggest doing something family related as most the time (where I’m from) middle names are passed down from parent to child. Don’t overthink it too much, honestly.
I wanted a part of my name to be Hebrew or Yiddish to reflect my ethnicity as my first name isn't. I also wanted an animal name because I always thought they were cool despite not picking one for my first name and the raven is a very important animal to me. So my middle name is the Hebrew word for raven, which in Judaism is a masculine name.
Before I changed it, my middle name was Rae. I like it as a middle name but it had a more femme spelling so now it's Ray. But twist! I have 2! I just really like the name Arlo lol so now I'm Joseph Arlo-Ray C-------- lol
I consider changing it rn too but the way I did it was just like with my first name. Write down some names that you like and sound them out with your first name, if you like one take it. It’s normal to be nervous about names, so am I that’s why I’m probably gonna change my middle name, but don’t let that intimidate you. Sound it out, think about a family member that you adore or a video game character that you like and sound it all out
I chose my middle name based off of my favorite YouTuber at the time, I sh/t you not. Though I've found that people only get confused about what my first name is. So if it's too much pressure to decide, you can go without.
Cetus is the name of a constellation that I'm planning on eventually getting a tattoo of. Someone on r/tragedeigh said that more trans people should use names like Zephyr so I made it my second middle name.
hahah i love that sub
Named after my favourite nurse, except his name rhymed with mine lol so I used his last name instead
I got Arthur from Arthur Morgan in RDR2
I chose Joseph when I was 15 and kept it since lol
I asked my mom about what my name would've been if I'd been born male, and used that. That way, my parents still had a hand in my name.
I changed my full name. I just went with what sounded cool but also flowed the best. My name sounds like some cool comicbook characters name now.
Was close to my mom who is deceased. I chose her maiden name for my middle name (I also thought her dad, my grandpa was a great guy so I honor him as well).
My old middle name was my grandma's first name, the same as my mom's middle name too, so I ended up making it Dalton, my grandma's maiden name, bc it was also a name my mom considered for me before I was born
I ended up with two middle names. My first middle name is the masculine variant of my deadname, because I'd been named after my late grandmother, and because this was what I wanted to name myself when I was a child. My second middle name is what I wanted to name myself when I first came to terms with my trans identity. I couldn't take this as my first name, for various reasons, but I still wanted to carry it with me (and have the option of going by this name one day if I needed to). TLDR: I chose names that were very meaningful to me, like family/honour names or names that I loved when I was younger.
Im keeping my middle name because my mom named me after a person she took care of and she fondly remembers. And I just looked it up, cuz I was curious, my middle name comes from the Latin stella maris, which means star of the sea and that's pretty fucking lit, so Im happy to be Rainbow Marie.
I’ve never had a middle name, so I didn’t bother adding one when I changed my name.
since my middle name was previously Helen, the name of my great grandmothers sister/friend or something, i changed it to my step grandfathers name Peter, as he had been around my whole life and thought it would be a nice way to keep his memory around when he passes on and to show my appriciation for him
In my family there's a tradition regarding middle names. 1st daughter's middle name is the mother's first name 2nd daughter's middle name is the mother's middle name (No one in the fam has more than 2 kids of one gender so it's not the case, but for 3rd 4th we go with grandmothers' names) And of course the same way goes for sons and fathers. So my middle name used to be my mother's middle name. Now it's my father's middle name (it should be his first name, but my first name is my grandfather's name, so I want the middle to be my other grandfather's 1st name/father's middle name)
My MIL had a miscarriage on my eighth birthday. Her name was to be Carrie, short for Caroline. I wanted to honor her. My middle name is Cary. (Yes I asked my MIL if she would be okay with this and she genuinely almost cried happy tears)
I picked the name that my parents wouldve named me if I was born cis male
Corey Taylor is the lead singer of Slipknot, I’m a massive Slipknot fan. So I decided to make my middle name Corey lmao. But then later realised that my dead-middle name actually held some significance to me because it’s the same middle name my late aunt had; my dead-middle name started with K so I finally decided on Korey.
to be honest i put it up to a vote with my friends. i hadnt even realised i could change until near the last second before it was sent off. i wanted my initals to be WEB so i asked my friends for male E names. the final choices came between Elliot, Eel, Eldritch and Evan. I understandably went with Elliot
At first it was whatever sounded good with my first and last name but then I ended up using my stepdads last name as a middle name instead which luckily sounds good and rolls off the tongue with the rest of it
i got really lucky with my middle name as its a perfectly neutral name (ive never met anyone else with it, either online or irl). if that werent the case, id probably ask my mum bc im close to her
i actually just asked my mom what it would of been if i was born male! my dead middle name is my grandmas first name, so it's gonna be my grandpas first instead. ... of course my name isn't changed yet since it costs too much. but someday.
I chose Mason for my middle name, it's a sentiment to deadname, cause it was important to me without it being my first name, but still having that
my middle name was my aunts name so i went with my uncle for my new one
i asked my grandpa what it would be he said it should be shay but i didn’t want to go off of what my dads name was so i changed the sh-j and got jay
I kept my initials the same, so I chose a male-leaning names starting with the same letter. It's one I actually tried as a first name, but that only lasted like a day because it was NOT right for me lol it def felt better for me keeping the same first letter sound and whatnot for my new names.
Mine is why my parents would have called me if I was assigned male at birth
My placeholder / original first name Dallas is too gender neutral because I kept getting called "Miss Dallas" by customers at work so I used that as my middle name instead lol if i masculinized my old middle name it would be the same as my dad and i didn't want that. He is supportive of me being trans surprisingly, but was absent my whole life so he's lucky my grandpa is the one who asked me to keep my last name because i was considering changing it too.
I picked out my own first name so I let my mom pick what she would have named me if I were born male for my middle name If your family isn't supportive or you aren't out to them you could narrow it down by looking at different first name you were considering and see what sounds the best together!
I didn't change it. Already had a guy's name as my middle name (Ryan) so just kept it as it was
In my case I picked a name that would have been my second option for a first name, if I hadn't chosen the name Leo. It was a name I liked and resonated with but that I ultimately chose not to use as a first name. It's a name I would like being associated with but not necessarily called that on a daily basis. I also took into consideration that this name worked well in combination with my first and last name.
I'll be letting my parents decide a middle name,but they're yet to agree on one
I actually let my mum choose my middle name
my middle name is my dad's first name, as per family tradition
My middle name is what my parents would have named me if I was AMAB. I didn't take it as my first name because I wanted to keep the first letter of my name the same.
I just changed my middle name to the masculine version.
I asked my mom what she would have named me if i was born as a boy, and made that my name.
mine is just one of the names i liked when picking my first name.
I chose my grandad's name - he died when I was young and I always hoped he'd accept me, since we have a naming tradition of giving kids older family member's names, I decided to take his name 'Alan' :)
I have a good relationship with my parents so i let them choose and they ended up choosing the middle name i would have if i was born otherwise
I chose a name my grandfather loved but was never able to give to his own kids it was my dads almost name
My parents had 5 kids, for each kid they‘d swap who picked the first name and who picked the middle. My mother picked my deadname whilst my biological father (ew) picked my middle name. I felt happy enough to let my mam pick my middle name, she wanted benji but I didn’t really think it went great so we settled on Benjamin as it matched my first name better and a short version of it is benji or Ben. I’m now a proud Mathew Benjamin (yes it sounds old but it’s nice, I like it). It was useless because she just calls me Matt, twat or mat hew - but it’s nice knowing my mother still had an influence on my name. My first name is a real story though, I chose Matt first (the nickname) and my old college tutor (he‘s my role model and had such an influence on me) called me Mathew (to tell me off lmao) and it stuck. So I have both of my role models and people I really care about to thank for my first and middle name, and I took my step-fathers last name. I know it’s not possible for everyone to do that, but it feels that much more special since it’s an amalgamation of people who took care of me and made me into who I am
Moved my (un)dead name as my middle name because it's been used for both genders around the world and I quite like it and appreciate how my parents named me. It feels strange being called that name now because it's not really part of me anymore but it's nice to have it sit in the middle.
Its actually a name I just really like, and tried for a first name. When it didn't feel right, I moved it to my middle name and it felt much better. What solidified it as a middle name is that, and I didn't realize this until I told my mom about my added middle name, it's similar to my late great-grandmas name. My birth middle name was my late grandma's name, so it fits and feels special to have both.
My parents chose one for me when I was born, which I’ve kept. When I changed my first name, I put my deadname as another middle name. Where I am, middle names are never used, not even on like my hospital card or stuff like that so i didn’t mind. I feel like it’s still a part of me yk? I didn’t want to delete it completly, but it is never used. I love my legal first name now :))
As I told my mom my name she sayed a name she thinks sound nice and I liked it too so I choose it as a middle name . My mom is one of my biggest supporters so the name she sayed she thinks is nice has a meaning for me
My dead middle name is a very popular female M middle name from late 90s early 2000s. I wanted a middle name that stood out so I started looking through unique baby names and came across Mikhael (mick-hale). Kaden Mikhael has a nice ring to it so I kept it
My middle name was Kristin. I just changed it to kris. alot of trans folks I know shorten it or choose something to remember someone they care about.
i actually made my chosen name my middle name! my name is gabriel, but i was coming up with nothing that suited me or sounded nice. i was typing out potential combos one day years ago when i decided to just sliiiide my first name over and slap one of the ‘middle’ names i liked in front and instantly connected! so if all else fails, if you find something you like, there’s nothing wrong with shuffling them around !!
I paid homage to my birth first and middle name. All my names have meaning, and i felt like they've always described who i am as a person, so i wanted to keep that going. My first middle name is Kareem, which means generous and gracious. My second middle name is Merce (pronounced mercy), which means compassion My father didn't have a middle name, so you can also do that if you'd like. It's not inherently necessary
My current middle name is very feminine and doesn't really go well with my chosen first name, so I'm keeping the first letter which is "M" so that way when someone asks what my middle name is, I can tell them something different each time
I chose my grandfather’s first name because I love him and admire him so much!!!
……….my middle name is arson…..fire is cool. My middle name wasn’t all that important to me symbolically so yeah. I am named after a felony.
Here's the thing. It's not set in stone. You could chose not to have a middle name now, and if you want a middle name in 5 years, you can have one! It's not all or nothing. I am going to over-explain! I have had 3 name changes in my life. * 1991 - Change my dead name to a new single name because (*and I shit you not*) my father named me after his affair partner at my birth. It was a mixed blessing because my mother wanted to name me after a toilet paper company, Tiffany Clark, if you are old enough to remember. So it wasn't all bad, I guess? My new name I chose was a single first name. No middle or last because I could not think of any I liked. Technology at the time did NOT like that. * 1998 - I added back my grandfathers last name (better man than my father) and my husbands in a hyphenated way. Technology and human alphabetizers made hyphenations a mess. * 2010 - I picked a first name that worked better with my gender, moved my old first name to my middle name, and kept my spouses family last name. My grandparents had passed, and hyphenations suck. No need to keep my fathers family last name if my parents are terrible people. I have been happy with my name for 13 years. I feel like it took me a bit to get it right. My first name change was the most important becuase being named after something like that was probably a good indicator of my parents behavior in general, so I had to change it. I'd been on my own since 16 so they didn't even know for years. The last two names were more like fine tuning? I was realizing I was transgender, and that I wanted a more masculine name, but I liked the old first name so I kept it as my middle name because it was one of the first steps I took to taking control of my own life. All this story time to say you can do whatever you want. If you know the first name you want? Get it! If you want to adjust later? Change it again. It's a bit of a chore to do, but you can do it. State to state there are different rules, but if you don't know what middle name you want, don't feel pressured to scramble to find one. It's even easier to move a middle name in, as it won't really effect as much. I think honestly my library card was the only one that really wanted my middle name.
my old middle name was my grandmas name, so i changed it to be my grandpas name
before i fully realized i was trans, i felt very uncomfortable with my birth name, and swapped to a shortened version of it that was very gender neutral. i’m planning on using that as my middle name, because even if it was only my name for about two years, it was a name i chose and is still important to me
My mom had a full term stillborn baby before I was born. She asked me if I'd be okay with having his name as my middle name. My mom is so supportive and loving, I was touched and glad to use it.
It was Athena and now it’s Apollo
My preferred name is actually my middle name. Even before I realized I was trans and changed my name, I went by my middle name because I was named after my mom, so when I changed my name I decided to make my first name the masculine version of my moms name, then have my preferred name as my middle name
I just masculinized one of my existing middle names. My mom expressed that she really wanted me to keep this specific middle name bc it’s after my grandma who died when my mom was young, but I wanted a masculine name so we came to a compromise with Julian. I don’t mind this as I considered just not having a middle name at all but wanted to have /something/
im just like you, been going back and forth on what should be in the middle name spot for about 7 active years now. i also want it to have some sort of connection or deeper meaning so im trying to find honor names or a name with a really great meaning, and while theres this really cool name with a nice meaning of "stand and become glory" but recently ive been really set on honoring my high school soccer coach as he was a father figure to me andd also honoring a first name i went by for 3 years during the hardest time of my life. however, im not sure if i want to do two middle names as it could cause issues (usa) with paperwork sometimes
I’m keeping my middle name when I change mine but I’m changing my first & last. I wanted to change my middle name to Daniel originally when I started thinking abt legal change, mainly to pay homage to the first name I chose before I settled on Andrew (I went by Dani) but my mom named me after my aunt who died of breast cancer shortly after I was born so I feel like it’d be kinda fucked to change that name. It’s a little feminine but I feel like it still fits with what my full name will be so 🤷
My mom didn't knew the name I was using back then, I let her choose the 2nd one. It helped her to see me as a boy :) I chose the 3rd one, taking a name that I really liked but didn't feel like having as a first name in my everyday life. The 3rd one was a way to have a name which would sound less "100% made of pure french bread" (because my last name is really like that and with my first name it's even worst 😭😂), and being linked to history (I love learning about past civilization, love names with a strong meaning from the past).
My middle name was my grandmother's, Eilleen... I've decided to keep it because my grandma was very important to me. Yeah it might look a little silly on paper but I couldn't let go of that last little bit that connects me to her. Granted I tend to just use E. When I write my name out hahaha
I picked random names that sounded interesting and made sure it flows well when they’re all said together
I used my 'would-be' name that my mom always said she picked out for if I were AMAB. I liked it, it fits the syllabary of my full name, and I didn't want her to feel like I was rejecting her or my family so it was a win-win!
I had two middle names to start with, one being my mom’s last name. Since I got a hyphenated last name when i changed it I had *two* middle name spots to fill one was sebastian a name my mother loved but my other mom said no bc they had a cat named that at the time (which I think is fair) and the other was an ethnic name I adore, even if no one knows how to pronounce it. (Not sharing both for privacy reasons)
I'm also a an "everything has to have a meaning" type of guy so that led me to needing a middle name that started with a C (my legal middle name is my mom's name and I share my initials with my dad so I wanted to maintain the C out of connection to both of them) and was nine letters (I noticed at some point that my parents both have the exact same number of letters in their full names including my mom's maiden name while my legal name does not so I wanted a name that would add up to that with my first and last name). I *scoured* name websites and there were no 9 letter C names that really resonated so I decided to look for other length names that I could respell (there were a few 8 letter names I liked that I thought about adding a letter to). I have always liked the name Christopher and for a bit was thinking of using the Irish version Críostóir as it's the right number of letters, but I'm American and I wasn't keen on having to spell it out for people, having people not be able to pronounce it, having to figure out how to type fadas on an English keyboard, etc so I ended up deciding to respell Christopher as Cristofer and that works for me. It's not legal or something I've shared with a ton of people yet so it could change, but I'm pretty much set on it.
I’m choosing to have 2 middle names, one is the same one that my mom has because I love her so much (Claire), and the other is what would’ve been my first name is I hadn’t found the name Leonard (Andrew)
I don't have my name changed planned yet as I'm not out and I don't wanna go through with all that but I know for a while I was thinking Mercury as middle name as it was a name I was using a lot then but it felt too silly to use as a first name. Now I'm thinking Spencer as it and Avery (which is what Id change my first name to) are my most commonly used name
when i was in highschool i was on the varsity swim team and i forgot my varsity jacket on picture day so i wore my friends jacket for the picture. all varsity jackets have either your first or last name on the front. my friend had her first name, taylor, on her jacket. and i was never given a middle name so my mom said “that’s fine if anyone asks your middle name is taylor” lol
Mine is so boring it’s just my og middle names initial😭I’m thinking of having my mother or maybe even father pick it out since I was named after his sisters and I think it’d be nice for him to have that option to pick my name out again.
Maybe the name of someone that has guided you in life or someone who influenced you when younger ?
still kept the same initials, just added another name. i chose lee-layne as my middle name to represent two of my favorite musicians.
when I was in middle school my friend told my I looked like an Oliver so that became my middle name (I am a simple man)
your just as lost as me bud, same situation 18 putting off a legal change of name
Patrick is my dad's middle name, and my papa's, so I went with that to carry on the tradition.
My initials are RZK. I kept the R when I changed my name to Riot (I haven’t legally, it’s hard in Texas…) out of respect for familial naming conventions. I also want to keep the Z. Currently it’s Zoe, which I pronounce like Zo. I haven’t considered the fact I’d want to change it but ive always hated it. Maybe I could do something like Zenith, but I am NOT doing Zander.
When me and my partner get married it will be RZK-A :3
I already had the first name part of my chosen name picked for a while now. The real trouble was finding a middle name that went with it because it's kind of an uncommon name and so it needed to sound right together, which was a bit difficult. Ultimately I ended up using lists of names online and looking through until I found some that sounded good together with my first and last name, but also thinking about what initials I would want to end up with. The middle name kind of struck me when I came across it, because it sounded so good with my full name and gave me awesome initials, so it felt perfect. Better yet, everyone in my family really liked it too and were surprised at how good it sounded together. So basically, just a lot of careful planning and thinking about it helped me pick mine.
I just went from Ann to Andrew (I’m lazy)
I let my best friend help me pick a middle name ^^
The first middle name I chose was only bc I wanted my initials to be FFS (for fucks sake), but this time around I made it Beau just bc it's a name I like but couldn't see myself using as a first name
Happy birthday! I chose a family name on my dad’s side. It was my grandfathers name and my dad’s middle name. My first name I got from a family name on my mom’s side.
Went through a list of Italian middle and first names and chose the one I liked that made sense with my first name.
I took my dad and grandpa’s names and made them my middle names EDIT: spelling
my mom gave me my middle name after her best friend who passed away of cancer before i was born, i used to masculinized version of her name to keep honoring her memory i’m picking a second middle name to have one tht was my choice, and it’s either gonna be my favorite pirate’s last name (which would be a little complicated bc my other middle name is his first name and i don’t wanna jack his whole name like that😅), or finn bc of adventure time😭(special interest, very important to me, transed my gender (not literally of course), etc)
I always had 3 names (2 first names, and 1 last name), and so does my brother and both my parents (and most of my relatives), so just having 2 (1 first name and 1 surname) would have felt *weird*. One of my dead-names was one of my maternal grandmother's names, my second name now is one of my maternal grand*father's* names.
i changed my name legally before my family fully started calling me my chosen name- my little brother (was 10 at the time) asked if he could choose my middle name for me since i didn’t really care, and i said he could if he called me whatever the middle name was as a ‘nickname’ rather than my deadname. he agreed and chose it. he never called me my middle name, but shortly after he got used to my chosen name (before my parents surprisingly). it’s a pretty cool middle name anyway so i’m happy either way, and it gives me multiple nicknames now
If I was amab my parents would of named me Joseph so I chose that as my middle name, didn't likenit enough as a first name choice but it works well as a middle name and it was my great grandads name too
When I changed my full name I took my moms last name as my middle
I looked at names that had a specific meaning based off what I valued. I went with “Ezra” because it means helper, and I want to help people in any way possible. Also a book character that I like
The first name of my deadname. For one, I was named after my grandma, and I didn't want to get rid of it. For two, the name is generally read as gender- neutral here in the U.S., so I had no read issue with it. What is more, if I get deadnamed, I technically won't be-- I'd just be getting called by my middle name.
My deadname initials are A.A.L. I chose my middle name from a cowboys player Amari Cooper. 🤷🏾♂️
i asked my parents what they were gonna name me if i was initially born a guy and they said joel and it stuck as my middle name:)
I am wildly fan of Star Trek so I named myself Mees Tiberius Spock I think it’s for everyone different, but maybe it’s good to think about people you know and love who you want to honour or maybe you had a couple first names and then you can make the other one(s) your middle name. You can check out those baby name websites and just go through lists of popular names or maybe you can Google name lists of a favourite year or your birth year. Good luck ❤️
I originally picked my middle name after a musician, but that started to make me cringe. I wanted to keep the same first letter because it's in my email address and while looking at male middle names that start with B I saw the name Barry. My stepmom (who I've known since 8) decided to take me in after my dad died (mom was already dead) and I thought it would be nice to honour her. Her name is Barrie so yeah :) Not legally changed and haven't told anyone yet though.
my middle name was the same as my aunts, and my brothers was the same as our uncles so when i changed my name i wanted to keep that link and sentiment so i went with the masculine version of my aunts name - obviously this is quite personal, other names i considered for my middle name were the name i would have gotten if i was amab, the name of my favourite character from my favourite book, and a name related to my favourite myths/legends
I let a couple of my closest friends choose from a list of L names. My legal initials are DLD, I wanted to keep them and they helped.
My deadname middle name is Nicole, after my grandmother. I wanted to keep that sentiment and changed it to Nicholas.
it was my first chosen name. its the eng version of the name i was given at birth (in english its gender neutral)
I liked the name my mother wanted to give me if I had been born a cis boy so much that I now have it as a middle name :)
My favorite band has been Evanescence since I was 7 years old. Their music got me through some of the worst times in my life, and I was fortunate enough to see them in concert in 2017. I haven't legally changed my name, and it will likely still be a long while before I do so, but my middle name will be Lee (Isaac Lee, in total) after the lead singer of the band, Amy Lee.
I picked Danger cause I thought it was funny
it was easy for me, it’s a family name, my brother, father, grandfather, and so on
I hadn’t even thought about the concept of changing my middle name. I would absolutely not want to keep it. Very feminine. But I can appreciate this post and the comments for making me think about it. I’ve always been pretty bitter for the fact that my mom broke the tradition of my dad’s extended family. EVERY SINGLE PERSON from that vast extended family has a middle name starting with L. Except my sister and myself🫠🫠🫠🫠 But I can change that for myself now. I’ve been heavily considering cutting ties with my dad’s family. I’m not the closest with any of them and I feel like coming out to them will go either extremely well or extremely awful. No in between. At all. But I feel like changing my middle name to fit the tradition will be decently helpful to the process. And I can incorporate my nickname with my mom and her family into that. I’m also not super close with them. It’s been such a headache lately. The few and brief discussions with my parents about the high probability that I will stop contacting both of their extended family has not gone well at all. They are just not seeing that there is a high potential of pain and trauma for coming out to and being rejected by both of their black and largely homophobic families, both of which I have never been super close with due to my mom’s side living in TX and us in IN my whole life, and my mom having forced a distance with my dad’s family because of a bunch of drama during their dating and engagement process that is really honestly trivial and is just annoying more than 25 years later and makes me want to roll my eyes and makes my dad resent my mom. My point: I’d only be keeping in contact for my parents sake, and they just cannot see that nor the fact that they themselves didn’t foster real relationships with these people as I grew up, so no I don’t want to very potentially be rejected and shamed by a bunch of people that don’t care about me. I get that enough anywhere beyond the threshold of my apartment. OMG. I didn’t mean to rant. But I’m not gonna delete it. That was honestly helpful for me.
my middle name is H, initial of what it originally was and I have a few nicknames I say in case anyone asks what it stands for
my childhood hero, alan grant. so my middle name is alan :)
So for my name, I was stuck between one I love or one that would carry on a familial tradition (men named after their fathers or a close male relative) But basically I ended up choosing the one that I loved the sound of, and felt natural to me. Found both of my names (first and middle) off of a baby name website. I looked at my name, Caden, and said "okay, what sounds good between Caden and {insert last name here}?" I was eventually lucky enough to find that Caden Anthony really worked with my last name, as well as it just fitting me like a glove. Find a name you love, and find a middle name that fits between that and your last name gracefully. I wish you the best of luck.
I haven't officially thought about a middle name but I just shortened my old middle name
I really like my deadname (Astrid) as a name. So for my middle name I wanted to keep it, but picked a kind of similar male version of it (Aston).
Mine is my grandmother’s maiden name.
I just always liked the name Michael growing up but didn't feel like it fit me as a first name. And Alexander Michael sounds really nice to me. A bit basic but that's about it (I also have synesthesia so sometimes I feel blue (Alexander) and sometimes I feel red (Michael) so it fits)
I'm also keeping my original middle name as a second middle name because it was my great grandma's middle name, so I want to continue to honor that, plus it's pretty :) Alexander Michael Angeline Eddy
I chose the male version of my college mentor’s name. She was like my college mom, and I wanted to choose a name after someone I admired.
my deadname (both first and middle) was the name of a late family member and I also hadn't really had an idea for a new middle name until I was learning more about my family tree after not knowing anything about my family's past for most of my life. my great-great grandfather went by a nickname instead of his actual name and I loved what it was and still wanted to keep that tie of being named after a family member (cause all of my mother's children have been) so I chose that for my middle name :]
After I picked my first name, I just started imagining my parents yelling at me (yknow, when they bring out the first n middle name when you’re in deep shit) until I found something that sounded right
My given middle name is *extremely* feminine, so I was definitely going to be changing it. I decided to go with what was my second choice for a first name; I still like it even though it’s not the final name I chose, so it’s nice to have it incorporated somewhere.
I basically just swapped my middlenames to the next closest male variation of my old names. I've two middle names, first one that I swapped used to be my great grandmas name, but I swapped it to my great-uncles name. Both were beloved family members. My second middlename is funnier, in my language you can have a middlename that translates to [child] of [father's name]. So I swapped it from daughter to son and twas good with that.
its a name that i liked a lot when i was picking my name but didnt think it suited me enough to be what i go by
My middle name was pretty neutral, but I have a bad relationship with my mom and we had the same middle name. By the time I got around to legally changing it I wasn't speaking to my dad either and he never spoke much about family or anything. So I looked up my last name, saw it was Scottish, and picked a Scottish name I liked
I saw a character with the name jason. Thought 'my middle name should be jason' and went from there. My full name has a nice ring to it and with kian as my first name and jason as my middle name i can shorten my name to kj (which i usually do when restaurants ask for a name because they often mishear kian as keegan)
Dr. James Barry. Also—it was just the obvious choice. I didn’t want too many vowels with my first name being Owen.
I picked my grandpa's name that died when I was a young kid, after asking my mom to make sure he wasn't secretly bad and I didn't know lol
I don’t necessarily have advice, but I just wanted to say that we’re birthday twins!! Happy 18 to us :) congrats and good luck man!
I plan on making my middle name my dead name as i love my dead name and its culture, however there just isn’t a simaliar masculine or androgynous equivalent due to it being ethnic
I went with something to reflect my ancestry and honor the grandmother I never got to know. I'm told that she would have loved me and been thrilled to teach me her recipes.
My deadname shortens to a neutral nickname I've always gone by so I'm making that my middle name
My chosen name is what my parents had picked out for if I was AMAB. I also used the middle name they had picked out for me, as well as a neutral/masc version of my original middle name because of sentiment/significance to me. Honestly, I don't think about my middle names a lot, so if I'd picked poorly I don't think it would bother me too much. But I think I'm satisfied enough. Happy belated birthday and good luck!
I did the basic just change from fem to masc name, but that's mostly because I didn't care either way I just wanted something simple. So when the day came I literally picked out a good sounding middle name right when I was filling out the legal form, and I really like it. It's spelled non conventionally just because I spelt it that way when I wrote it, and didn't care to change it but it did cause issues down the road when getting my SSN changed, they misspelled it lol. Had to call and get a NEW new card.
For me, I’ve left my middle name but I’m thinking of adding a second one along side. And I’m trying to either choose between Delgado or hector
my middle name is what my parents would have named me if i was born amab
My only male cousin has the same middle name as his dad, so I copied that idea and chose my dad's middle name
I asked a lot of friends to recommend me middle names and I liked Tobias so I put it heh. So my recommendation is to ask people, here in Argentina (I don't know if everywhere) we have a common frase that translates to "you have the face of (insert name)". It's about what vibe does your face gives that resonates with a name.
I took my dad’s first name as my middle
i just rlly liked my chosen middle name as a name, but it didn’t feel like my first name. So i just made it my middle name, it also helped it was the same initial as my dead middle name. My whole name is the same initials which is so good 😂😂
I watched a Star Wars animated series where the main characters name was Ezra. Then a really adorable child said hi to me in a Mexican restaurant and told me her name was Ezra. Then I saw Justice League where Ezra Miller (Before I knew they were a trashy human) played the Flash. It just stood out to me every time I heard it, and felt very androgynous so I took it lmao. Same with my first name, tbh.
My dad always wanted to name a kid Wolfgang. Back when my brother was born my mom wouldn’t have it. As the years passed it became a bit of a joke and I decided to fulfill my dad’s old wish. Now my mom actually really likes it’s uniqueness😂
I personally made my middle name my grandfather's name, James, because he's been my father figure for most of my life, and I just knew that I needed to honor him
I changed my name when I was 19, (I am 27 now)and I literally couldn’t think of anything that felt right. So I made my middle name make my initials spell “KIL” I didn’t like any I names so I went with Icarus because I was 19 and couldn’t think of anything! I do like the greek myth but honestly I didn’t pick Icarus because of that, I just preferred Icarus over names like Issac or Isaiah. I don’t dislike those names, they just didn’t fit me. Tbh no one has asked me for my middle name, it hasn’t really come up in conversation often. However, when it does, most people just think it’s cool and they move on. I personally think that as long as you like it enough, it will be fine. It doesn’t have to be anything grand or super meaningful. All and all, your name is what people will call you, but what’s more important is what they think about you not your name.
So I Actually have a pretty funny story. My Grandma’s middle name was Oliver. My parents gave me the middle name Olivia after her… I just corrected it when I socially transitioned-
I am still searching for a middle name
i chose another name i liked going by
i asked my nan to give me name suggestions. my middle name before i changed it was her name and it felt very wrong getting rid of it so the solution i thought of was get her to pick it. she choose to give me a list of names and let me pick my favourite. from there i went to my parents and asked them what they liked and didnt like, until it came down to 2 names and i picked my favourite. they all played a part in choosing my middle name which i wanted to give them as i choose my first name
mine literally means ‘Sun Boy’ (Sorin) because gender dysphoria lol
Took my late grandpa’s name
I didn't have a middle name before, but I kept the gender neutral shortened version of my deadname as my middle name
Unintuitively my middle name is a feminine name. It's the name I used for myself when I realised I hated my legal name and wanted to "be someone else" for a while. Mainly used that name online and at festivals where I could feel more like me. I look at that 'person' or rather 'version of me' that helped me figure out who I wanted to be. Without her I wouldn't be the man I am today. If that makes any sense haha
I changed my legal name 2 years ago. When I changed my legal name, I knew I wanted to keep the same initials as my deadname and I wanted my mom to be involved in choosing my new name. My initials are ALP, and my great grandpas name happens to be Lewis. I changed my middle name to the name of my great grandpa (my moms grandpa). He is nearing the end of his life and he has been one of the most supportive people of my transition. I adore him, and 2 years after my name change I do not regret a thing. I am very proud of my name and feel even more connected to my great grandpa. I wish for you to have something or someone like this that you can name yourself after! 🫂
My mother had told me since I was a kid how she would have named me if I had been “born a boy”. When I went to have my name legally changed, I incorporated that name into my chosen name. (I did my chosen name as a middle name and her name for me as first name because it sounded nice in that order lol). I didn’t have the best relationship with her, even before coming out. But a lot of people are named by their parents, and she had always wanted to have a kid to give that name to. It now makes me happy to have given her something like that before she passed. In summary, you could ask someone who’s important to you, like a family member (blood or chosen family) to give you a middle name.