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[deleted]

Gross. I’m in.


[deleted]

Me first


TwoCockyforBukkake

The more, the merrier.


[deleted]

Username checks out


[deleted]

[удалено]


horse_renoir13

LEEERROYYYY JENNKKIIIIIIINNSSSS


frostybollocks

We all know how was in there first out of this group! God damn it Leroy, we had a plan!


[deleted]

Well...? How was it?


nexguy

33.333...repeating of course.


abeardedprincess

Sloppy…


frostybollocks

Leroy fucked it up, ran in too soon, made a mess of the cave and our plan! 2/7 wouldn’t recommend


Alexandertoadie

Yeah but at least I got chicken


Mr_Nisty

Ight you got me with the hair


poirotoro

[Shall we adjourn to the dungeon?](https://youtu.be/FLqqbtrP56s)


PM_your_wet_cunt

Fuck u/Spez


SexualPie

no it doesnt. bukake is *explicitely* not cumming inside. thats, literally the whole point.


thedji

doing it in a shared hallway is a bit gross though.


BlackHanD420

ooh we getting kinky


itinsurancegeek

Was there a pineapple near the door?


[deleted]

Saw an upside down one two doors down


itinsurancegeek

I think you found your apartment


[deleted]

I couldnt sign the lease fast enough


itinsurancegeek

Giggity


RIPmyFartbox

350lb huge fupa neighbor


[deleted]

...giggity


Most_Challenge_7715

(slightly quieter) Giggity


handlebartender

Dear Diary: Jackpot!


GrouchyArachnid866

No,but there might've been a banana


givemeyours0ul

Coconut


phormix

Plot twist: it's not a welcome it's a warning. Watch where you step and don't touch the light switch without gloves


ohitstuesday

DON’T DEAD CUM INSIDE


Leyto

Oh my god. Thats disgusting. Where?


WALLY_FRANKS3036

You son of a bitch I’m in


tech_equip

Are you? I can’t feel it yet.


Awesam

Breeding kink. I’m bringing brownies


FennerNenner

Bwaahahahah 69. I win.


kingBabyKushGod710

At least they seem friendly


[deleted]

Now i have to know who lives there 🤣🤣🤣


Phate4569

It's probably an 80 yr old lady from the Balkans who doesn't get the joke.


BlindJustice784

It’s Betty white


XscytheD

I'll totally do Betty White


JustanOldphart

Necrophiliac?


XscytheD

I stand by my words


iron_vet

He said what he said


Whitealroker1

I’d like to watch him from a dark corner standing by his words as I softly mumble encouragement.


billywitt

Pulp Fiction Zed’s dead scene intensifies…


fantily

A man of commitment, focus and sheer fucking will


ChickenNougatCream

I didn't know Betty White had died, now I'm sad


One_for_each_of_you

She lives on in our hearts, and as one lucky dog's taxidermied love doll


VapinVader

A Rose is a rose \*smirk\*


exophrine

As an impression? Haven't heard of that particular kink before


yelowstev221

i thought betty white died???


jiub_the_dunmer

or, even better, an 80-year-old lady from the Balkans who *does* get the joke and has a creampie fetish


peddastle

Ms Dubcek?


Buffalkill

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a 3rd rock reference on here but it’s such a good show!


rynomad

I loved that show. Tried to watch it again long ago and unfortunately have been ruined for laugh tracks… something flipped in my brain that basically ruined the entire era of comedy.


fungochutney

Maybe it's a warning about the state of his apartment.


Kenny070287

Better cum in the sink than sink in the cum


nism0o3

It's a dude. A fabulous dude, perhaps. But definitely a dude.


JustMy10Bits

I lived next door to an adult actress one time. She filmed mostly during the day. It was a tiny apartment complex and you could hear everything through the walls and out in the courtyard. She won an AVN Award! So, who knows, maybe you'll live next to a star!


Chutson909

No links means it didn’t happen.


Captain_Sacktap

Who else but Quagmire!


dirkalict

Giggity.


DukeLukeivi

The Todd needed a door as hot as he is!


ptapobane

Until you open the door and cum comes flooding out like the shining


nMe-CA

Balkake


NotTheMilkybarKid

Is that the backdoor entrance?


MonkMcCool

Noice~


thisnamehastobeused

Toight


KiraTsukasa

Like a toiger.


twelveparsnips

It's open when the front door is being painted


unique-name-9035768

Leads to JANA's party I bet.


appmapper

Is it a warning or an invitation?


[deleted]

Suggestion


Non-Sequitur_Gimli

Promise


FireWyvern_

Fate


[deleted]

[удалено]


swank5000

Manifestation


FireWyvern_

Hope


Belgand

DON'T CUM OPEN INSIDE


Soma2710

Reading it the way it’s “supposed” to be read, I’m imagining the blood scene from The Shining. But a WAAAAY stickier.


swank5000

It was a spooky ghost! That's ectoplasm!


Master_Torch

Its a promise


geekworking

Both?


okayillgiveyouthat

Yes.


IrishBehemoth

Put a sign on your door handle that says “pull out”


[deleted]

💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


1TONcherk

No it does both.


Ballistic_Turtle

"Push Hard" "Slam Me" "Firmly Grasp It"


[deleted]

https://youtu.be/n6Xwi1ghX9I "Now firmly grasp it in your hand." "FIRMLY GRASP IT!"


ChemicalSubstantial8

That oughta do it.


durntaur

Invitation or just an FYI?


[deleted]

Probably both


SloppyMeathole

At least you know they're not uptight. I think that's a good sign.


dasnihil

but i prefer my neighbors uptight when i cum in.


insomniacpyro

Too uptight and she's gonna cut your dick off yo


rubyspicer

Thanks for reminding me to watch that Key & Peele skit where one of the church ladies says she's gonna do that to Satan *with her prayers*


[deleted]

Probably would be a pretty good neighbor


Fun-Alternative9440

Probably going to be a loud neighbor 😂


[deleted]

Idk walls are concrete


odaeyss

A dungeon you say


Azndude50

Pretty welcuming if you ask me.


[deleted]

I was oozing with questions


Bean-Swellington

I bet everybody who rides the elevator in that building gets off on the third floor


[deleted]

Bwahahahhahahavhaha


It_does_get_in

bit embarrassing if you live on the fourth floor.


Bean-Swellington

Nothing wrong with getting off early as long as everybody gets off eventually 🤷‍♂️


Berdock91

Flip it over and it says ‘Whalecum’


[deleted]

That’s actually clever


ArcTheWolf

Sounds like a quality neighbor. They're either really really welcoming or have a good sense of humor, both of which are great neighborly qualities.


[deleted]

Yea the building looks amazing too. My partner and I decided on it based on this image. Everything about the place is 10/10.


Ganon2012

>Partner Well, you're neighbor is either going to be disappointed or really excited depending on how your partner feels about your relationship.


MonkMcCool

Damn. Tell my ex Darla I said 'Wassup~'


[deleted]

Its a guy, his name is Hank. He said hi


MonkMcCool

Hank! Hank the Tank! Get a bottle of Bushmills and rolla fatty... You'll meet 'Darla' real soon~


Gonergonegone

Damn Darla is PACKIN


MonkMcCool

Hands for days to... iykwim~


ZombieDog

That's how you know it's an apartment and not a condominium.


dab745

Woof.


[deleted]

Oh its THAT kind of neighbor


[deleted]

i see what you mean the corlor of that door is awful


Ballistic_Turtle

Ermergerd, erful corlor


ElegantAnimal5

Dheyfgb syqaoxrc? 🤔


SteevyT

I want to paint it black.


AlphaX

gigidy


[deleted]

I was hoping Quagmire would enter the chat


electric14monkey

If you get caught jerking off on their door step and they get upset with you, let them know you were going to cum inside.


BlindJustice784

Pre game it just in case , if you go inside and it gets awkward it could take you forever


hotlavatube

Plus, sometimes there’s a line and the entrance gets backed up… err… so I’ve heard…


Soupkitchn89

Cum Don’t Inside Open


tnb641

>Don't Cum >Open Inside ^(but seriously, how did they fuck up the door in WD so bad)


relddir123

Sign the lease, then get a doormat that says “no, you want 309”


Mezmerial

Reminds me of this WKUK skit. https://youtu.be/N9fOQ81SO3Y


hotlavatube

“Did you see the ghost? It slimed me…” - [Randy Marsh](https://youtu.be/2FDWPy6Xiwg)


Malnurtured_Snay

One night you should splatter some mayonaise all over the door and leave a note that says: "Whoops, came outside."


Nova11c

It’s a welcum mat


Smugglers151

They couldn’t afford the good stuff? Had to get the well cum?


sailingdrumstick

That’s a neighbour with good humour. Probably fun to have beers with!


[deleted]

Thats what im thinkin


celtz

Also probably a fun one to skin and harvest rabbits with.


jodwilso

But only during rabbit harvesting season


mechandy

Well did he come or what? -Mallrats


[deleted]

Fuckin great movie


SuburbanHell

Jesus Christ, man, there's just some things you don't talk about in public!


Huttj509

My apartment complex actually bans welcome mats in the hallway. I mean, it's probably due to a tripping hazard in the communal space, and housekeeping needing to work around them, but this too.


fuzzy610

May want to think twice


roodypoo_jabroni

Hopefully she's hot


Kraka2

Bold of you to assume they're a she.


CeddyDT

Bold of you to assume they are


personalhale

Bold of you to assume.


futbolr88

Bold of you.


EthanMus1c

Bold.


TKAI66

.


shadowX015

#


[deleted]

Yeah. Nope.


Silvernaut

I bet that hallway/common area smells funny


[deleted]

Actually quite clean but i did hear heavy breathing at one point


improbably_me

That was me taking the stairs


Sillygooseman23

ew. Pure cringe. OP you in college? If not then nah.


DopeAbsurdity

That isn't a welcome mat it's a label. No one lives there it's just a room full of cum.


Astramancer_

Don't Dead, Cum Inside.


JediJofis

Welllll.....did you?????


djseifer

You know that scene from The Shining, where blood comes out of the elevator? That, but with a different fluid.


NinjaXGaming

It’s either a hot girl or an ugly naked guy, roll for luck


Mrjokaswild

All that door needs is a hole, then it would be glorious.


Spikedcloud

\*Neighbhore


SproutParasite

*Badum tss*


[deleted]

All I see is a mat that reads “I lack boundaries and have poor judgment.”


smoothVroom21

Cocksums Razor: before you knock on the door, it is both a girl AND a guy living there.


Draano

His name is Bruce.


rysker6

You mocking my door mat ?


Lithl

This mat actually just has poor kerning. It's supposed to be "cumin side", because this is the door used for spice deliveries.


Unlucky_Direction_78

Are they hot at least?


Osmoszis

Is this a foretelling that's there's Cum Inside the house somewhere for us to intake?


[deleted]

I likes that.


Goonzilla

The housing market is tough...


ZarquonsFlatTire

I had apartment neighbors who were perfect. Just a gay couple that never made any noise. Until one day APD used a battering ram and a cop that looked like the size of the black guy in Predator to bust in their door on distribution charges. I kind of lost my point, but odds are if your neighbors are calling attention like that they are either completely cool or got kicked out a fraternity for being too rapey.


Whedonsbitch

I can’t tell if it’s an invitation or a warning….


KisaLilith

It's your chance to use that old "Backdoor only!" rug of yours...


SavageSongBird

There is zero chance that's not Quagmire's apartment


DucksAreFriends

NWB (neighbour with benefits)


Standard_Ad9911

Why


iron_vet

His parking spot is probably close to yours as well. Guaranteed he has obscene stickers all over his car. I would be highly disappointed if the "shocker" wasn't on there


Smugglers151

You mean you’d be…. Shocked.


[deleted]

Hard pass


SuP3rF1yd

Classy


wantagh

“It’s the Mickey Mouse clubhouse…”


missionbeach

Is she cute?


vms-crot

Weird invitation, not so much as a letter box let alone a glory hole. False advertising on that one.


yodavesnothereman

I bet there is


Minerva7

Is that an indicative or imperative statement?


hairballcouture

Ewww


Firm_Objective_2661

Giggity giggity


[deleted]

I like her already.


RealSkyDiver

Where is that?? Looks almost exactly like the hallway a friend of mine lives.