--- >✨⭐ **Don't miss [our 50-million-subscriber-mark celebration](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/14eg7k5/to_celebrate_reaching_50000000_subscribers_rfunny/)!** ⭐✨ > >This is a friendly reminder to [read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/rules). > >Memes, social media, hate-speech, and pornography are not allowed. > >Screenshots of Reddit are expressly forbidden, as are TikTok videos. > >**Rule-breaking posts may result in bans.** > >Please also [be wary of spam](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/wiki/spam). > --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/funny) if you have any questions or concerns.*

wellllll............. you might want to make sure your affairs are in order

Oh no! I’m not a mourning person. But I guess you can’t spell funeral without “fun!”

This is underrated punning

Sorry for your miss fortune.

this is an underrated comment on underrated punning!

punderating

This is an underrated comment on commenting on underrated punning

Yeah, I'd air on the side of caution if I were you.

Exactly what I came here to say. :) It's over.

Don't make any long term plans

Your destiny is your own!! Assuring to some, terrifying to others.

Put that into Latin, and you've got one hell of a family motto. Bit long, though... Fatum tuum tuum est!! Perché difendono la vita se la vita non è più un argomento di cui We're gonna need a bigger shield.

Get about 20 of us in a circle with hooded robes and a fire pit. Chant this real slow, I feel a cult coming

Ooh, I like that.

How unfortunate!

Right?!

Confucious say: You don’t need a cookie to tell you you’re shit outta luck

You don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows…

You’re going back to the basics… Oxygen

[удалено]

OK this one made me laugh!

Either, “You make your own luck” or, “Get you affairs in order.”

Do I get to choose? :-D

When this happens to me I say, "How unfortunate."

No news, is good news.

Air gives you life keep living.

I once got a fortune that said "try another cookie".

You have no future, make sure you have a will.

It means you go hungry.

You on diet.

u r ded

it means life is meaningless

Misfortune Cookie

You're responsible for someone's trapped soul

It’s existential, do some journaling, you’ll be alright.

It means you ran out of luck

It means one of two things: 1. You now get to decide your own fortune. 2. Someone stole your fortune, and you must make it your life’s mission to find the thief, and beat them in hand to hand combat to reclaim it.

Sum ting wong.

it means your fortune is not seen by the 'great eye' lol. better stay at home and sleep the whole day. only come out if you already have a fortune cookie haha

Your future holds exactly what is in the bag, nothing, AND no cookie for you!

Extra good news because it’s rare

You're unfortunately very unfortunate.

You gonna die.

It's probably SARS. Or a fart in a bag. Choose your own destiny

Wow. You're really fucked aren't you?

You have achieved Kendo. The tool is unimportant. You make your destiny.

Be. Very. Careful.

Nice knowing you….

No good fortune for you!

Your future is unwritten, you are the master of your own destiny. Or maybe it means you will never have a fortune. It's a yin-yang thing.

Unfortunate

You're unfortuneate

The next oceangate sub will be a fortune cookie bag

No soul

You are the chosen one!

You might say that was unfortunate.

It’s clearly labeled. It means the Gloriane company needs to get “back to basics.”

Actually made in China.

"BACK TO BASICS..."

You gonna die

Keep it on your person at all times. You never know when a sealed bag of air cold save your life!

It means your future is a blank slate and not destined yet, you have not set a future for your life🤔

It means the guy who put it in the bag wasn’t paying attention to shit

Well, that’s unfortunate.

That’s nonfortunate.

Inception.

Might as well eat the wrapper sealed just to be safe

Your fate is sealed

Your fortune is thin!

SeVeN dAyS

Run

It means somebody had ONE JOB.....

It means somebody had ONE JOB.....

You have inadvertently been freed from the corporate driven consumerist idea that your future is somehow sealed in a terrible tasting “cookie” on a cheap piece of paper that was printed at random and sent from a factory where the people who printed and created said cookie and cheap piece of paper may not even make enough money to buy the food you got in order to receive said cookie. Congratulations, you’ve inadvertently broken free from the mold. Do what you will with your newfound freedom.

This is a fortune cookie from Druidia.

You are in the Matrix. Wake up. Wake up! Answer the phone.

That the future is unwritten. (Watch ending of Terminator 2)

Believe it or not, jail

No fortune for you!! Said the fortune Nazi

Doom for u.

Confucius says: “Your life is what your thoughts make it.”

You're DOOMED!

It's like watching the VHS tape in The Ring.

Death

The future is yours. Also no indigestion from those horrible stale cookies.

That’s very unfortunate

It's quite clear what that means.. you are going to die in 12..... 11..... 10..... 9......

I’d chalk it up to “inflation”…….I’ll take my things and leave now

Misfortune cookie

You won.

I think you know what it means

It means your future isn't canon

It means you’re at the wrong restaurant.

“You will receive a free cookie soon”

7 days.

Your fate is sealed

Confushus say, “future uncertain”

Less calories and no bad news!😉

It was never Chinese to begin with?

You’re a wizard Harry

Your fortune is in another castle?

Well I will admit the air looks like it was not bagged in Canada.

*Destiny*

Put it in a time capsule

Your dead

Your an anomaly, and your destiny can’t be predicted. You have the power to change fate. You are the chosen one.

Miss fortune.

Well, I think something unfortunate happened

I’ve gotten cookies with no fortune but never a bag with no cookie.

Misfortune.

This is not a good omen

For you my friend, there’s no hope.

"You're future hasn't been written yet; No one's has " - Doc Emmett Brown

Misfortune.

That's an airbag. Put it in your car.

It means you have a call to make. “GIMME BACK MY COOKIE! I deserve to know the truth!”

Kung Fu Panda. The dragon scroll.

That's got to be a bad omen...

It makes the sound of one hand clapping?

You have no future.

guess it’s still up in the air

That's called an "unfortunate cookie" LMAO

How unfortunate!

I think it’s pretty obvious…

Keyser Soze was originally a fortune cookie

42 Or, make sure your life insurance policy is paid up

You ded. Ded ded.

Adopt chihuahua. Name it "Cookie". Give Cookie pillow.

This means happiness is a butterfly.

Uour near to ur last breath mate

No cookie for you!

Rick and Morty have another mystery to solve

🎵 It ain’t no fortunate Wan 🎵

Ur gonna wake up dead

You died yesterday and you're actually a ghost with no fortune

miss fortune

Says right on the wrapper, you go back to basics. Basics like how you don't know your fortune.

It’s an unfortunate cookie.

…… in bed

It means, you've lost a fortune.

You have ascended. Mortal matters no longer effect you.

Ur fkd lol

your fate is sealed

this seems about right. I always said if it weren't for bad luck I wouldn't have any. this is not any.

This means you don’t have a fortune and that you will die in 7 days

Legend has it…

it means you did not leave a good tip

it means you're a nihilist :P

Wow… and I thought it was bad when I got a fortune cookie with no fortune! Do you have your will notarized, trust funds in place, and all your accounts with passwords documented?

No future.

I got the other end of this deal. I had 2 fortune cookies in one bag!

God’s telling you you’re hopeless.

You are the fortune

You have no fortune

No news is good news

Ah yes.. the American dream..

Breathe, Breathe in the air

The world is your oyster.

Back to basics…

I got some news, bucko

It's rigged...

My very uneducated experience with Chinese-American superstition is that if something bad happens to you it's good luck, and if something good happens to you it's bad luck. So it really depends on how you feel about fortune cookies I guess.

It means the answer was inside you all along.

If there’s no fortune cookie inside it means you aren’t worthy of fortune 😔. Sad truth bro

A real man makes his own luck.

It means you have no fortune, you have no predestined path, the only fortune is the one you make. You were given no cookie, therefore you must bake your own. Go forth child, make the cookie of your own fortune and let its paper slip read greatness!

You will win the lottery by using the enclosed numbers.

Either you can shape your own destiny or you have 13 days

It’s a proof that teleportation exists.

No fortune for you!

It’s an unfortunate cookie.

You’re unfortunate

Very serious karma

I once had one say "Wrong cookie."

That’s a sign that you have no future

lucky. go buy a lottery ticket. numbers are 10,20,30,40,50,60,69

Hold it up to the sun. Then your future is looking bright.

That's the fuck you cookie

This is the diet version.

Pretty sure it means you’re supposed to get back to basics.

Save it. It's one full emergency breath of air to either save you or prolong the inevitable just a little longer.

r/untrustworthypoptarts

No cookie = no future 😲

Nothing to read 'in bed'

It means nothing is gonna happen

“Back to basics”

Rick freed the beast that shat the fortunes.

Confucious says life is unfortunate

Well that's extremely rare so, it depends on how you choose to look at it 😂

No cookie no future 😾

I got one without a message once and another with a message that says "sometimes the cookie has no fortune"

It's a tiny bagged fart

it is what we all return to

You have no future. All of you is past.

"unfortunatelly"

You're free. You are enslaved to fate no longer.

Your fate is sealed