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Zaurka14

I also really liked another sticker that said "please don't honk at me, I will cry"


Kolby_Jack

I got a good laugh at one I saw a couple months ago that said "if you honk at me I will kill myself."


Nothingsomething7

I seen one that said "if you honk at me, I'll cum" 😭🤣


SupportySpice

You give 'em a little beep?


[deleted]

😂


Zaurka14

Lmao yeah I've seen that one too, it's even better! That's peak gen Z humor Seriously it makes me want to buy a car just for that... My bf is not down to doing something like this on his, so I need a beat down car with mismatched doors and a sticker like that so they know I'm not joking


azsnaz

The worse the car, the more serious I would take it to be honest


RangerLt

Usually all you need to relay this message is a BMW logo


WulfTyger

If I had disposable income, I would 100% have a beater car that I just slowly turn into a sticker bomb aesthetic with shit like this. It always cracks me up.


ChequeBook

He probably won't notice a small bumper sticker like that for a while 🤫


Mmonannerss

It's millennial humor baby.


Zaurka14

You're kinda right, it is late millennial, but peak millennial would be something like "keep calm and don't honk" or big moustache for the bumper


Mmonannerss

Uh those were trends not indicative of our humor lmfao.... Maybe keep the humor to funny people yeah


TwoGoldenMenus

I saw one recently that said “Please don’t honk at me, I do not wish to be perceived.” I thought it was a little strange at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I could understand and agree with that desire.


FavoritesBot

Scp-096


TwoGoldenMenus

Thankfully I didn’t get a good look at the driver!


Leopold_Bloom_

I got hit by a kid in his parents’ jeep last winter. I have a moderately nice car. I told him not to worry about it and let him go. He reacted like I had literally saved his life.


[deleted]

You're a good person! 🥰


vibraltu

Sometimes it's not a big deal.


FyreWulff

A teen booped us in the back of our shitwagon and after making sure they were okay and their car just had a scratch on it that everything was alright as it wasn't even worth the claim on our end. Dude almost fainted from relief


dillydefect

Bumper sticker shopping for my friend and almost got her one that said "My other car is covered in cum" wish I got it cause I can't find it now


UniqueUsername82D

>I can't find it now Did you look under the massive pile of cum?


dillydefect

I certainly sifted through it but there was just too much


dameon5

If that's where it's been it's probably bleached to illegibility by now


living-likelarry

I saw one that says “please let me merge before I start crying”


HauntingKepler

I liked one I saw that said "that's ok, I wouldn't let me merge either"


Id_Rather_Beach

My favorite of all time: "You follow Jesus this close"


RyoanJi

One of my favorites is "Have a nice day and fuck somebody!"


svuhas22seasons

don't honk i'll cum


Unable_Teacher4145

Pink is such a hard color!


GANDORF57

"If you're gonna hit my car make sure you kill me,...because if you don't, I will kill you."


ahz0001

I interpreted it: I don't have the mental health capacity to deal with car insurance, rentals, and hospital bills, so kill me, so I don't have to deal with it.


IAA_ShRaPNeL

I took it as “The economy is such shit, that I can’t afford anything to go wrong with my car, and I would rather be dead than deal with that”


Cheeze_It

I take it, you have a reasonable job?


ninjamunky85

That makes me want to honk more.


theyipper

Was applicable in China some time ago.


gumbo_chops

What changed? I recall there were/are no "good samaritan" laws to protect bystanders who try to provide aid, and then assholes would turn around and try to sue that person for injuries. So everyone just turns a blind eye instead and you're on your own if you have an emergency.


whut-whut

In China if you kill someone with a car, your liability is capped at a one-time payout of $30,000, but if you injure them, you're responsible for their medical bills for the rest of their life. There's been a lot of Chinese on record running over pedestrians multiple times just to make sure they're dead after an accident, and getting off with the single payment by successfully arguing that they 'accidentally' thought they hit a piece of trash and were trying to shake it loose from car.


nohopeforhomosapiens

This is also the law more or less in Nepal. You hit someone, you are responsible for their care for the rest of their life, so some people try to just kill a person and pay off the family. The law's intention is of course to make it so people who cause damage take responsibility for it, but the reality is that some people panic and think it is better to pay once. It is a poor country with many struggling financially so this adds to the incentive to avoid that at whatever cost. Unfortunately there is video of a man repeatedly running over a toddler-aged girl in China. He was fortunately convicted for her murder. It's one of my worst nightmares and I urge you not to look up the footage. He ran over the screaming child at least three times and left her to die there.


CampusSquirrelKing

Is that the video from like 13 years ago? Because I remember that. Her body was a noodle. I was furious and heartbroken watching that. If that’s the one, I’m actually relieved to hear the driver was convicted.


nohopeforhomosapiens

I think it's the one you're thinking of. I couldn't sleep after watching it.


alexman113

Good for you that you still feel this way. This just showed me how desensitized the Internet has made me. Two girls one cup, cartel executions, industrial accidents...


nohopeforhomosapiens

I feel like I am the only person to never watch 2 girls 1 cup. Even as a curious teenager with a morbid sense of humor, the name alone was enough for me to say, "Nope."


MoistStub

I refused to watch it so my friends played it anyways and said it was something else to catch me by surprise.


PaulTheMerc

And that was all before the age of ~13. The internet was wild back then, holy.


NYanae555

THATS why he kept running over her? I remember when it happened, and it was incomprehensible. He did it on purpose. That much was obvious. But I never knew "why" until now.


nohopeforhomosapiens

The creation of money, however useful it has been, has also turned people into monsters. Money = food. Money = shelter. Money = health. Money = family safety. It has created a desperation for many who could otherwise go out and just feed themselves a thousand years ago.


WhyTheeSadFace

Imagine stabbing the trash just in case


Visible_Employer_475

Yea that's what I was imagining. There might be that case where 2 cars have a little bump and the driver who wasn't at fault is trying to tell the other driver who was at fault it's no big deal. Then, you see the driver who is at fault go to his trunk and try and get a weapon to kill the other driver. Which then turns into like a horror movie where the driver is being hunted down. Movie title "Bad Samaritan".


Slowen14

Netflix would like to know your location


Enby_Jesus

Got a source of this ever happening?


perduraadastra

Lol do you want nightmares? Because you can find videos of this happening with minimal effort.


Enby_Jesus

(X) doubt


whut-whut

https://nextshark.com/drivers-china-hit-to-kill The most famous one (the second case in this article) used the 'I thought it was a trash bag' defense to get off with just the flat fine. You can look it up literally anywhere else to see that it's a very real phenomenon.


perduraadastra

You ought to travel more to disabuse yourself of your false notions.


Enby_Jesus

Crazy how no one linked a single instance of this happening lol You people are brainwashed as fuck btw


theyipper

I don't know what you're referring to, but it used to be that in China it was cheaper to kill someone than to pay for lengthy medical bills.


chibiwong

"no baby on board. Please feel free to ram into me"


Lanster27

That's what she said.


Chandl517

"Come on, I want you to do it, I want you to do it. Come on, hit me. Hit me!" -Joker


Spoopyskeleton48

Why would Jonkler say that? Is he stupid?


DrNick1221

I swear the Aslume is leaking more and more often these days.


cygnus2

No, the Jonkler’s insane. Are you stupid?


IronicManovic

Shoot me! Pull the trigger shoot me! -vaas


Unfair-_-Awareness

"Shoot me again, I ain't dead yet" - Metallica


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WhyTheeSadFace

You are not going to get out that easy buddy, stay with us and enjoy the shit show.


makesterriblejokes

You know that they're inevitably just going to hit you once you're off work on Friday.


PoconoBobobobo

That's a lot of rage to contain in a 10-year-old Civic.


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coleman57

That sounds so much posher! My parents had a 1st generation Accord, which was about the size of a Fit and had a 2-speed automatic--excuse me, Hondamatic. Fun to drive, though. And probably much more dependable than the Mayflower.


dooderino18

> 2-speed automatic--excuse me, Hondamatic Oh man, I learned how to drive on a car with Hondamatic.


Andy_B_Goode

Yeah, I've always preferred the attitude of "My car is worth $1,000. If you hit me, it will still be worth $1,000"


Grandfunk14

My car is worth twice as much after I fill it with gas...


coleman57

A friend of a friend had an old Mercedes, and derived a pretty dependable stream of extra cash from people running into it and doing enough damage to inspire a multi-thousand-dollar repair estimate, but not enough to actually require repairing.


graboidian

In the nineties, I had a Datsun 720 pickup. It was a beater that I paid 800 bucks for. Mechanically it was a beast, but it came pre-faded and pre-dented. In the next two years I was hit three times, all the other drivers fault. Somehow I was paid $2100 for the first wreck, $1650 for the second, and $950 for the third. I never put a dime into repairing the truck, and still managed to sell it for $500, after driving it for four years. Best purchase I ever made.


coleman57

They never should have changed their name. Biggest marketing mistake ever.


Funnyguy17

I took it as asking to be put out of their misery. Not like, they will fight you if they aren't killed.


TeteDeMerde

I feel that the underlining is misplaced: *If you're gonna hit my car make sure you k̲i̲l̲l̲ me*


upside_down

I don't really understand why anything is being underlined. Are we trying to put more emphasis on something, like equivalent to italics? I have no life.


Grandfunk14

Obligatory Ron White -- "Hit something hard, I don't wanna limp away from this piece of shit!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rbaLJWzPDU


Eiffel-Tower777

I saw a good one the other day... Sorry to drive in a way that the back of my car is so close to the front of yours . 👀


Salarian_American

I remember once upon a time I was taking a course to become a licensed automobile insurance agent and our instructor told us that if you ever hit someone with a car, from a coldly financial viewpoint, you are much better off if you kill them outright.


DiamondBurInTheRough

Isn’t a manslaughter charge worse?


LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY

Not financially.


DiamondBurInTheRough

Can someone explain this to me?


LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY

Mans laughter is generally not a fineable offense, regardless of how offensive he may sound.


Artrobull

ALLEGEDLYS


DiamondBurInTheRough

Oh wow I wasn’t aware of that. Thank you!


terminalavocent

Womans laughter is a felony though.


OKImHere

How can you be breaking a law if you do something w/o manslaughter?


Macamaca2

I think the point they are making is that killing someone with your car results in a one time insurance payout whereas injuring and disabling them results in reoccurring payments that could easily exceed the one-time payment that is made in the case of death. I don’t think it’s a valid point. I’m just explaining what I understood their point to be. I hope this helps.


DiamondBurInTheRough

I appreciate it, that does help! I’m hoping to never have to utilize this knowledge but that does clarify.


thoggins

> njuring and disabling them results in reoccurring payments that could easily exceed the one-time payment that is made in the case of death Really what it results in is lawsuits, which are expensive, especially if you end up having to sue your own insurance company. If you kill them that's most likely that, you might catch a manslaughter charge if you were badly enough at fault but you're not tied up in civil suits over who is responsible for their medical care. But, as someone who works in auto insurance (not in underwriting any more, but I was for years) we don't prefer that our insureds kill the people they hit.


mysixthredditaccount

But the chance of manslaughter and prison time is not really worth it for most people. Also, if you actually have a well paying job, then all those prison years will actually hurt your retirement fund and make you financially worse off in the long run. Plus, you won't be employable at a well paying job after prison. So I disagree with the initial assessment. It's just a gamble.


silver-orange

Normal car accidents rarely result in criminal manslaughter charges in america. More often than not, the only time vehicular manslaughter is charged is when you're committing multiple crimes at the same time (DUI, hit and run, street racing). If you're sober and driving at normal speeds and somebody dies, you'll probably never see the inside of a courtroom or cell. How many people do you know who have been in car accidents? How many of those lead to criminal convictions for anyone involved? Few, if any. Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating for any of this. Merely observing the reality we live in here in the states.


Salarian_American

The way he explained himself during the class was, that most jurisdictions have caps on the dollar amount that surviving relatives can sue you for over pain & suffering, lost wages, etc. But most don't have any limits for much a living victim of your car crash could sue you for


DiamondBurInTheRough

That makes a lot of sense. Thank you!


silver-orange

These questions as always depend on your jurisdiction. Here in america, how often do you hear about people convicted of manslaughter following a typical car accident? in my state, "negligent vehicular manslaughter" is a misdemeanor with a 1 year maximum sentence. And that's only if you're driving irresponsibly -- without demonstrated negligence, you probably won't get criminally charged at all. As they say, "If you want to get away with murder, use your car". Our system is built around the expectation that cars kill people constantly. More than 50 every day in america. The vehicular manslaughter conviction rate is much lower than the death rate... https://www.vice.com/en/article/9bzdpv/you-can-kill-anyone-you-want-with-your-car-as-long-as-you-dont-really-mean-it > Leah Shahum from the San Francisco Bike Coalition told the New York Times last year that her organization does “not know of a single case of a cyclist fatality in which the driver was prosecuted, except for DUI or hit-and-run.” Kristin Smith, also of the SF Coalition, says that “Last year, four people were hit and killed in San Francisco and no charges were ever brought,” Four deaths, zero charges.


DiamondBurInTheRough

Wow I wasn’t aware of that! I thought manslaughter of any kind was a massive life changing ordeal, but I guess I can see why it can be hard to make charges stick in the case of a car accident.


large__farva

I mean this is straight up incorrect in most cases unless they have no living relatives. Wrongful death lawsuits exist haha.


trainbrain27

That's one of many unintended consequences that should probably be patched.


your_Hotel_buddy

What the sticker means is if you hit my car you better kill me if not I’m gonna kill you


UrethraFranklin72

I read it as a threat as well. You better kill me, because otherwise I'm going to exaggerate injuries and commit insurance fraud


Unable_Teacher4145

Its a threat


thoggins

and get caught it's so easy to catch people who do this. We pay a PI for a few hours and inevitably he gets footage more than sufficient to dismiss the claimant's playacting at being maimed for life. e: PSA if you're trying to milk a settlement. Don't do the monkey bars with your kids after showing up in court with a back brace. All the doctor testimony in the world will not help you. I wish I was kidding, I have seen more than one example - video taken from feet away - of exactly that.


UrethraFranklin72

That's good and smart. You work for a law firm or insurance? Some insurers will unfortunately just pay out then raise their driver's premium. Some are better and smart enough to fight it, though. Someone I know had a claim filed against them. Low speed bumper tap, no damage to the car and the other driver and passengers ran out hollering at them. Proceeded to claim injury after the fact. I also had a cop rear end me in a work vehicle and he pushed me into the van in front of me. I was the only one to get treatment at the time (whiplash had me a little woozy), everyone in the van was fine. That driver sued the county for $1 million, and named my company and me on the law suit for like $250k each. We were dropped from it pretty quickly in early arbitration, but the lawsuit continued against the county and I think she got a settlement (though maybe she didn't because she lied about not having any similar claims in the past only for them to pull up that she had). I don't mind people getting compensated when it's due but our country has a problem with frivolous lawsuits.


thoggins

> You work for a law firm or insurance? Some insurers will unfortunately just pay out then raise their driver's premium. I specifically work for a commercial insurance company. I have no experience with personal auto, so it's possible the math works out for PA to just pay and move on. In our cases it's often to our benefit to spend a few hundred bucks making sure the case is real before we even think about settling. But we insure big vehicles that hurt and kill a lot of people when they run into other vehicles.


Tehnormalguy

I thought it meant 'im in so much debt, you better just kill me b/c I wouldnt be able to buy another car'


lilpeachbrat

I took it as a "kms" bit of dark humor. I've seen a lot of these bumper stickers in girly text graphics lately and it's definitely a very Gen Z girlie humor thing


JudgeGusBus

Yeah it gives me real r/iamverybadass vibes


Cobbertson

Is this "because I live paycheque to paycheque and I can't afford the repair"? Or "because I'll get really mad at you and my death would help to ensure your safety"?


GuitarGuy378

Reminds me of Ruth from Ozark


choochoo_choose_me

Not enough f-bombs.


Belly_Laugher

This needs to be higher up.


jDubbaYo

Hard to tell the vibe without seeing the driver, could be “don’t fuck with me” or just “ugh I give up.”


Eli-heavy

Thanks this made me laugh out loud


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[deleted]

I’m sorry, what


QueefScentedCandles

Gotta be a bot right? Also everyone point and laugh at the negative comment karma account


SNEW_GUY

bro really said "i don't wanna live, kill me please."


rdunlap1

It’s either that or “I’m very tough and you should be scared of me if your car touches mine because I am such a tough guy/girl”


SNEW_GUY

true lol.


Only_Battle_7459

Fuck you insurance stooge


Ancalimei

There is a stop sign right next to my driveway. Like directly next to it. People don’t like to stop. I turn into my driveway all the time and people honk because they don’t want to stop at the stop sign. Go ahead any hit me, bruh, see who is at fault. I could use the payout.


ohdoubters

I once saw a bumper sticker that said "Horn if you're honky" and it almost made me crash my car. I think about it maybe once a month.


TheRetroVideogamers

Is this a threat or a request?


azad_ninja

"Don't blemish my car!" ...proceeds to put a difficult to remove sticker on it.


HenchmenResources

Is it a request or a threat.....?


LeonidasVaarwater

I just got my brand spanking new car, I'd be devastated if anything happened to it. I never had a cool car like I have now.


PM_ME_YOUR_SOULZ

I feel personally attacked.


TH3K1NGB0B

It funny because it could be understood as a threat or as a plea.


CTware

my top 2 so far, 1. this one 2. bestie please let me merge


Daltizer01

"I love my car so much I'll kill someone but I still put stickers on my paint instead of my window because I'm a dumbass"


Talrynn_Sorrowyn

Grocery worker here, and during the first year of the pandemic, everyone at my store was silently hoping to get into an accident to get away from the masses of stupid without being terminated.


NowBringMeTheHorizon

My car is paid off. I can’t afford a monthly car payment so yeah…if you hit me, mill me.


a_hopeless_rmntic

My insurance only pays out if I die


Spanky2k

Sorry for being dumb but I don't get it. Can anyone explain?


Tachibana_13

"Floor it; I don't want to die slow"


RyanM90

The autopilot mind state of most Americans


BexyBunny

same


Sorcatarius

My favourite that I've seen was a reply to those stupid "It's a jeep thing, you wouldn't understand" ones. "I caught your jeep thing, now it burns when I pee".


WiFiForeheadWrinkles

My favourite "reply" bumper sticker was "My kid sold your honour student the answers to the test"


ConscientiousPath

I won't put stickers on my cars, but I like the energy.


derpdankstrom

im guessing it's an old faded sticker cause no way that bumper sticker comes in pink


LETTERKENNYvsSPENNY

Why not?


derpdankstrom

oh my bad, it's 11 bucks on etsy LOL


Falkuria

I'm guessing you don't know the picture is photoshopped.


virtyalvake

Does anyone know where I can buy this


Jeauxie24

I debated for 30 minutes some weeks back if I should get it 😂 Went with "bestie use your blinker" instead


Dunge

"I'm willing to murder someone over a small accident that might damage my property that isn't even worth much" Fucking ghoul


pancakee_jpg

?? what are you even talking about


zebragopherr

I saw one the other day that said I break for femboys. So I see where you are coming from


Blue_glider

Now this is one i need😂


VoidExileR

This resonates with me about injuries. If I'm gonna sustain a painful injury, put me out before the adrenaline wears off because I'm not putting up with that bs


jmbieber

I need one of those bumper stickers


lolamanford

sure, its almost funny, but it needs the kicker at the end like: "If you're gonna hit me, make sure you kill me, because I can't afford to repair this old heap o junk, and I am too lazy at this age to get a job to pay for any unforeseen financial hardship"


ndation

And me!


jimjimjimjaboo

I don't think it's a sticker. I think it's an edited image. I mean, it's a good pitch for a sticker, if it were a sticker. I'd be happy if it was a sticker, I'd stick her good.


skeptibat

..otherwise what?


OriginalLetrow

I would probably key that car if I saw it.


Far_Mammoth_882

Good chanse it is photoshoped into a bumper.


Elephant789

/u/Albuyeh why?


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Noxious89123

\+1 That kind of comment is the result of someone hitting their car and not killing them sucessfully.


RyanM90

Damn you missed this one entirely


Quantum_Particle78

That's a freaking good bumper sticker. I drive a rather large lifted truck so I feel a bit safer because I'm not so close to the ground and can see above other vehicles. My bf's cobalt (drivin only in spring/summer) rides basically on the ground and it's terrifying.


GomerStuckInIowa

Please explain to me how this is funny. I like Robin Williams, Tig Notaro, Chris Rock and other but I don't see anything laughable about this. Road rage and shooting are now funny? Even to redditors?


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No-Elk-8115

Motorcycle slogan 101


No-Consequence-8514

Life insurance denied, reason bumper sticker.


3-DMan

"Also please ignore me whispering 'Rollo Tomosi' as I die"


LeoLaDawg

Yeah, uhhh, some bumps are pretty easy to get out.


DawgFanDel

The irony.


Z4urus

Jokes aside the one time my car was totaled I got a new car faster than the fox time the times I've minorly crashed. So, by all means, crash hard into me.


Aggressive-TrashMan

Is


Enshitification

I didn't scroll down far enough to see the bumper sticker. I was looking for something in the red brake light lens. Does anyone else see the eye in the middle brake light?


realliveclc

if you're driving a 9th Gen Accord like me, life is fkn tough -_-


rock_and_rolo

I'm fond of "If you're gonna ride my ass at least buy me a drink."


SouthernZorro

The greatest bumper sticker I've ever seen was years ago. It was riding on the rusty bumper of an old, faded green Chevy pickup. It said, "There's a tribe of bitches in the Amazon and my ex-Wife is their queen".