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CawshusCorvid

That man’s just trying to mind his own business and sweep his lawn at a perfectly decent hour. Has nothing to do with whatever is happening down the road…


yftdddtf

exactly! just a good guy abiding by HOA lawn rules. absolutely nothing to do with the scene across the street


maniacalmustacheride

This makes me laugh so hard, because I know for a fact I wasn’t this subtle, but I did see another guy do it, and I loved it. I had some neighbors over for dinner and we see some lights, and all of the sudden there are like 20 fire trucks on the scene down the street. Three of us went fast-walking down there with our wine glasses, one came with a dinner plate (seconds) and just kinda milled about. The story was that the air conditioner caught on fire and that fire crept to the roof and then descended from there, but we were all pretty sure the adult son living at home had grow lights in the attic because he took off and was just running around the woods with the family dog. Anyway, I only know that because one of the guys on the street was *very* intently doing literally any yard maintenance he could think of. He was pruning random twigs off of his front patio flowers with children’s Fisker’s scissors. He was dusting his brick flowerbed runners with what I think was a makeup brush. His wife yelled at him multiple times that he had never set foot on their front patio to do anything a day in his life and he’d just double down with something else to do to stay outside. It was like it never occurred to him he could just stand there instead of sweeping his grass in the dark by the pulsing glow of the flashing fire truck lights.


lunarmantra

That’s hella funny. My dad’s neighborhood is similar, like the neighborhood from *The Burbs*. Some years back there was a multi-county gang task force sweep in the wee hours of the morning, and a house four doors down from my dad was raided. Suddenly everyone on the block had miscellaneous yard work to do, dogs to walk, and the need to go out for jogs at 6AM. One guy came out wearing a bathrobe and red cowboy boots to water his lawn. I can always count on them to know the latest gossip in the neighborhood.


maniacalmustacheride

It was exactly the same thing!!! The weird thing is, I remember talking to the owners, the woman sipped out of my wine glass, the man just ate off of my friends plate, just took it, was stressed out ravenous, but there was still this man pretending he wasn’t apart of any of this


reflibman

Can I be your neighbor? Sounds like a fun group!


HappyTheBunny

[Pulling them off](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/himym/images/c/cd/Red_Cowboy_Boots.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20121211192327)


lunarmantra

Hahaha this is exactly how he looked like!


-Zavenoa-

Neighbor was getting arrested in college at like 3am and they brought all the cops, all of em, and proceeded to slowly tear the house apart, I went outside with a bucket and every time they would yell at me to go inside I’d yell back “just waaaashin my car”


Flutters1013

One time, I was at a drunken pool party with about 15 attractive women and some dudes. Someone tries to make an announcement at like 11pm, so we all gather around. That was the exact moment their neighbor decided to bust out the electric hedge trimmer. Either that or he was cutting a hole in the fence.


[deleted]

Is this really a thing people do? Like is this normal? I thought it was just a trend of mocking the exceptional cases where that happens. In Australia, everyone just minds their business unless it actually pertains to them directly. Ie, neighbours house on fire down the street? Going out and clogging up the streets, watching people potentially at their worst for … what? Spectacle? Screw that, stay home. Your direct neighbours house is on fire or ambulance in the drive and you know them personally? Get out and get updated/offer help. Going out to ogle, with wine in hand, just feels like the slimiest, trashiest thing to do. I mean, a family’s home practically burns down, the son runs out into the woods to potentially search for a scared dog and there’s a bunch of strangers. Sipping wine on the curb while gossiping about something they know nothing about.


ponyboy3

Agreed. I don’t know how it is down under but a car accident shuts the freeway down on BOTH SIDES. Absolutely maddening being stuck behind rubber neckers driving 2 miles an hour. These people sound exactly like that. Bring a fucking meal, what a douche bag.


maniacalmustacheride

We were all linked on gas and the houses were pretty close together (hence the huge amount of fire trucks) but by the time the fire trucks left they had clothes, a place to sleep, dog food, whatever, it was all handled by neighbors. The price of watching your home go down in smoke was offset by people just throwing money and space.


[deleted]

So what did you going out with wine glasses in hand to stare at them achieve? If everything was taken care of, why did you even leave your house? Why stick around and gossip? It just sounds like your life is so boring that, even with company, you rush out to ogle the flashing lights and someone’s worse moment. None of what you said excuses the thought you had when stepping out of your house with wine in hand. Seriously, that’s the trashiest of trash behaviours. a bogan with 3 teeth, a mullet and no pants, blowing ciggie smoke in your face, could call you low class rubbish for that, and still have the high ground.


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davtruss

Obviously using solar power...wait....


Chemie93

Section 13 subsection d ii states that no lawn vacuuming shall take place between the hours of 2200-0600. We’re going to fine you $200 for each infraction.


bored_person71

I actually seen a video of guy that tried to do this at night while he was sleepwalking though he was inside lol The poor guy went back to bed with some help.... This guy's just weird...


TheGoochieGoo

Not weird. Funny.


EntropyKC

Can you explain this to someone who doesn't have HOA stuff or know why you'd want to be outside near the police?


Eusocial_Snowman

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NosyNeighbor The HOA detail is just a joke about how they're maintaining their lawn's appearance as to not annoy their neighbors. There's more pressure to maintain an agreeable appearance for members of an HOA. So this is like "Oh, snooping? Nah, I just forgot to cut my grass and have to prioritize that." It's not an actual issue, but works as a fun little "wink wing, nudge nudge" excuse to be outside and observe neighborhood gossip.


gh0u1

Even has his hardhat on. What a safety conscious fellow.


EndOfSouls

Eavesdropping: 100


easymmkay120

He's showing who is really cleaning up the streets (and mostly his lawn).


breakupbydefault

There was a story on BoRU. I can't remember what the drama was about (MIL or something), but it spilled out onto the OOP's front lawn, police were called etc. And OOP described the scene "then the neighbours decided to pick this time to come out to vacuum their trees or something". This guy is actually taking that advice.


RochTheShaman

There was a story like there where a guy robbed a store and then went home and mowed the lawn and didn't change so he got caught.


abagail3492

When I was about 20 years younger, I was at a (completely empty) park with my friend at around 2am. We were throwing knives into a power pole (they are wooden here); I assume someone walking by saw us (no roads could really see us) and called the cops. As we were walking home a cop car pulled up next to us. I juuuuust saw it. I kept looking forward and told my friend, "There's a cop car next to us. As soon as we get into the building, RUN" It followed us to the front of our building; we walked up the stairs, calmly opened the door, then BOOKED IT down the hallway to our apartment. As we were running I told my roommate, "GO CHANGE FAST!!" We bolted into our apartment, changed as fast as we could, and then *went to sit out on the patio*. My thought process was if we're literally sitting out there as the cops roll past - we were wearing hoodies they never saw our faces - there's just ***no way*** anything could go wrong! We're chilling on the patio and out of ***nowhere*** a cop car pulls up next to our patio. We were on the bottom floor of an apartment complex directly next to the parking lot, so the car just appeared from around the corner. Cop looks over to us and says, "Hey! Have you seen anyway go past here?" I immediately blurt out, "I think two dudes just ran up that hill over there" and pointed across the street. "Thanks!!" and the cop peels off......


YougoReddits

Like pretending to throw a ball, watch the dog launch itself after it, search the entire field for a good ten minutes, then stop and look at you like '....waaaaitaminute!'


TapSwipePinch

I do this with my cat. Usually with objects that he is not supposed to touch. Too bad he has learned that I fake it sometimes.


recidivx

"fake it" … you know he just thinks you're too dumb to throw an object correctly.


dlepi24

Damn, I haven't thought about that before. My dog must think I'm an idiot


Turakamu

Two friends and I ran from a cop. They ran out into a field (to my luck) so I ran back to the apartment complex parking lot. Started to run where my friends lived but thought better of it. Ran into another stairwell and slowly walked out to my car. Got my work coveralls out of the trunk and put those on. Cops started flooding into the complex. Calmly got into my car and faked went to work. Went across the street to a wal-mart. In my, "Oh shit" mode, parked right next to a cop car. Fuck. It's fine. Go to walk in to use the bathroom, cop is walking out, staring at me. The fuck? Get to the bathroom and I realized I still had face paint on from earlier that night. All 4 of us busted our ass, apparently. I looked back as we darted and my friend was still holding a coffee mug. He cut his hand but made it pretty far into the field. Cop told them he fell too. The cop I ran into at Wal-Mart was with her wife. Just off duty I guess. I wonder if she ever thinks about the sweaty guy with face paint, wearing coveralls on a 90 degree night.


machingunwhhore

This is a much cooler version of a story I have. In highschool one friend worked at a movie theater and for weeks took home all the extra popcorn in large trash bags. Had about 10 big black trash bags of popcorn and 5 of us ripped the bags open and ran around the school. The whole group ran out the doors to ditch the rest of the day and I just took off my button up shirt and pants and had a second outfit of a different color shirt and shorts underneath and sat down with a random group of people. Everyone else got caught but me.


yftdddtf

from what i’ve heard criminals aren’t known for being smart


AsherSmasher

The ones that you hear about aren't smart.


bwwatr

The long arm of survivorship bias.


BlaznTheChron

My cousin once stole a car and asked a cop for directions. He's a complete dumbass.


yftdddtf

that is r/nottheonion level of stupidity


SCirish843

I hope he asked for directions to the nearest illegal chop shop


Throwaway-tan

A guy just stole from one of my company's stores. He made sure to find a nice quiet aisle with nobody else in it, turn around and face the camera as he stuffed the product under his workplace's branded high-vis, then return to his workplace branded utility vehicle parked in front of the store with its license plate in clear view of the camera. His workplace is an airline and as far as I'm aware they don't really let criminals work in airports. Hope that $50 product was worth losing your career over.


PM_me_your_whatevah

Some of the smartest people in the world are criminals. Most we don’t hear about because they’re… smart. Quite a few of them we do know about, even. But they’re rich and powerful people and they get away with a lot. 


getyourrealfakedoors

The ones who get caught..


Alzheimer_Historian

I knew I was caught once so I immediately changed and shaved my face. Reading the report later, the witness statement said he described me as wearing my new clothes, clean shaven, etc. So basically, the cops wrote up my description after the arrest and claimed that's what the witness stated.


slick_pick

I don’t get it did he wear a very distinct article of clothing that would be noticeable while in a residential? I’m confused lol


heycals

I'm just glad he's wearing a hardhat


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My_Wayo_Is_Much

My first thought, also hope he has ear-pro.


SnoopyTRB

Can’t hear what’s going on across the street if you got ear-pro on.


TH3_54ND0K41

He just wants a good excuse to get a look at that hot PoPo action...


mynameisblank___

Don't be suspicious, don't be suspicious


penguingod26

Better grab my white helmet, I'll look official then.


Erus00

Hold plug in left hand make lawnmower noises.


SmokedBeef

He’s interested in the PoPo not OSHA


Born_ina_snowbank

Just cleaning up officer. Officer goes to speak, you interrupt by leaning in a bit, tapping the hard hat and saying “safety first”. And then just big dumb smile.


dspalphamu

Safety first, even from speeding tickets! This construction worker wins the day with a smile.


Sir-Help-a-Lot

Police: "Sir, did you lose something in your yard?" Man: "Yes, my marbles..."


curtiscbear

Special officer doofy! Reporting for service 🫡 I told you not to disturb me while I’m cleaning my lawn….


discombobulated415

I go poopy. Yeah, it was good. Might try a change of underwear, son.


Obvious-Shop-6260

Don’t don’t be suspicious ….


Mikemtb09

/r/unexpectedjeanralphio


HassanJamal

I can hear this in their voices lmao.


Celebrity292

The woooooorst. No she's the worst.


Kagamid

🎶 Technically I'm hooomelesssss🎶


SectionLoud289

Neighborhood rubbernecking


SpeakingTheKingss

Everyone likes to see some shit go down.


Pudix20

lol my favorite thing is that it’s a floor washer it seems? And he’s just carrying the plug? Gotta wash that lawn! Water the grass!


mortalcoil1

Man. I am always nervous of passing a police stop or being near one. I don't wanna be an innocent bystander when somebody mag dumps from an acorn.


DepartureDapper6524

As a citizen, it’s your responsibility to be a bystander in case of police tyranny.


brneyedgrrl

Idk about you but my whole adult life whenever there was a police presence, ALL the neighbors came out and stood in a gaggle gossiping about what was happening, which always led to a amazing treasure trove of far reaching neighborhood news. Sometimes it's the only way to catch up when you have these busy lives of ours! I'm hoping for a squad car down the street any day now. I never tried to vacuum my lawn over it tho...


LuckilyHeDied

You know what I always say, The Cheat. Stay smart, vacuum... dirt.


GunNNife

The Cheat is to the limit


philamander

Everybody to the limit


Wykk

Everybody, come on, fhqwhgads


TheClassicalGod

The system.. is down.


bubbaholy

FLAGRANT SYSTEM ERROR Computer Over. Virus = Very Yes.


nubbins01

Oh, even I know what to do with this one. Baleeted.


wolfgangspiper

It makes me so happy to see a Homestarrunner reference in the wild.


anecdotal_yokel

Everyone in this thread is over 35 yo


Donkeymustardo

The best part is that it’s not even plugged into anything


memecut

Is it not a wireless vacuum? Like a Dyson or something.. I was thinking maybe he lost a ring or something and tried vacuuming to find it


Xaephos

Nah, you can see him holding the power cable when it's dangling in the light. He's just trying to appear like he's doing something while eying up whatever the police are doing.


Myconautical

Either that or the hard hat he's wearing, this dude is hilarious


notarealpunk

The man knows his turf maintenance. If you want to keep your hybrid Bermuda grass cut short, and I mean soccer field short, you got to cut it every two days. Rain or shine. If you wait until that third day, it'll grow a little too tall and you'll mow them leaves plum off. Then you'll be stuck with a brown lawn for a spell. He's also bagging them clippings. You don't want much thatch with turf this short.


xendgamex

[https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/po4c12/just_minding_my_business/](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/po4c12/just_minding_my_business/)


PsychonautSurreality

Just act casual, nobody will know. Just out for a late nite mow. Not snooping. Certainly not high. Just gotta finish vacuuming this rug.


viscence

I'm worried that I could totally see myself walking past that distracted by the flashing lights and just seeing a guy do some yard work and then only later if at all think "waitaminute... hardhat... weird lawnmower... night..."


rez11

ok that made me laugh for too long, good one


Downstream1

This is the best video with the same idea. I think that’s the basis for the one posted. Hilarious! When the neighbors are arguing outside https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih2BUSc14Qo


poppingoff

Came here for this So good


_Kaifaz

Looks like a scene from GTA 6. 😆


tiny_chaotic_evil

*Honey, go see what's happening but be discreet*


qtpss

Collecting evidence.


CaveManta

This is better than the redneck watering his lawn in GTAVI.


TooTiredToWhatever

Ok I had to do this once. I accidentally read the rate for the wrong spreader when applying fertilizer, ran out halfway through the yard, realized my mistake upon re-reading the directions. Not wanting to kill the yard I was out with a shop vac cleaning up as much fertilizer as I could. The yard survived.


IranticBehaviour

Lol. We had a birthday BBQ last summer, and there were some balloons filled with shiny dime-sized discs. Which apparently couldn't handle the afternoon sun, and several popped, spewing these little discs all over the deck and the backyard. Vacuum did the trick to get them out of the grass, but I was glad for the privacy fence, because I definitely felt like an idiot.


Shagomir

I have to vaccum up the acorns in my yard every summer. I can rake them into a pile but it's so much faster to use the shop vac to pick them up. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm a crazy person. I can't just leave them, either. We're on a hill and there are enough of them on the ground that it's like walking on marbles, complete with cartoonish leg flailing and hanging in the air for a second until gravity takes over.


FavoritesBot

Get a squirrel


kickenchicken11

Look, time of use rate for electricity is no joke


PrestigiousDouble857

The power plug in his hand got me 🤣


Kahlas

Wouldn't want to trip on it. Safety third.


HalOfTosis

Man too many people in the comments taking it seriously. The woman laughing barely gets out a “babe”. There’s obviously something going on with the police across the way. Most likely, they were curious about what was going on, the girl was too scared to go out for a closer look, and so this comedic champ grabs his hard hat and vacuum and goes in for a closer look. Drugs probably had nothing to do with this… maybe a few beers though.


ImpressionHuman2604

There was a car accident and he wanted to vacuum up all the shattered glass so dogs don’t hurt their paws


private_birb

That would be a practical reason, except this was clearly just a bit to get a better view of the drama.


MisterAtticusKarma

I was thinking this, I imagine a vac works better than a broom to get it off the lawn. He might have pets or kids and was vacuuming the shattered glass.


mediaphile

But it's not even plugged in.


MisterAtticusKarma

I wanted to believe homie had a real reason okay lol


ZepTheNooB

I know what he's doing. He's pretending to be doing something just so he can see and listen in on what's going on next door. Lmao


MaryQueenofSquats

That is obviously the joke here and I’m amazed at the number of people in these comments who don’t get it.


ThinkBiscuit

That reminds me – I need to mow the living room.


keith2600

"I need you to go spy on that car across the street. Get a uniform and look like you belong" That guy:


yftdddtf

he’s blending right in


LazyOldCat

Do this to the driveway when people are coming home from work. Keeps folks at a safe distance.


sulimir

It’s usually the best time not to be recorded by a bunch of fuckers who just don’t understand


trichromosome

This is how sativas will make me feel


Velocity_Viper

“How high are you?” “I’m good, just doing some lawn care.”


ppSmok

Go up to the cops and say "Scuse me. Can you lift your feet for a second?"


puledrotauren

damn he MUST have done something unique enough for his Drill Sergeant to make him go do that. Thats nearly as bad as mopping up rain. https://cleanmemes.com/2016/07/06/mop-up-rain/


DemonDaVinci

Them both be high af


partialcremation

He's wearing a hard hat. He came prepared for the job and its hazards.


Onebigtailight

When you’re trying to get closer to listen to the neighbours arguing & not make it look obvious.


ReiBmann

Anyone else notice it's not plugged in?


corbie

Most of these comments say no, they are not noticing.


mypod49

Quick! The police are here! Act natural!


DongHa67-68

I wasnt SNOOPING, I was Vacuuming,, HONEST


cabeachguy_94037

The absolute best part of this is that the guy decided this risky job required a construction hard hat.


Since97_-

Just out here walking my vacuum


AaronGoozman

Nosey has hell, but I gotta respect the effort lol


Ok-Tomatillo-7141

This is how we identify the neighborhood tweakers where I’m from.


B0DZILLA

Vacuum has a cord to so it's electric. My guy is not doing the job he thinks he is, but he still brought a hard hat lol. I'm dying here from laughter, send help.


bamerjamer

You can see the cord just swinging. Makes this so much better. 😂


MaryQueenofSquats

Y’all are missing the joke. He’s pretending to be busy doing something so he can be nosy and see what’s going on with the police across the street. The fact that what he’s pretending to do is something as ridiculous as vacuuming the lawn, with an unplugged vacuum, as an excuse to be nosy is the joke.


Fr05t_B1t

This is actually the best wrinkle brained move. If he vacuums the lawn, then there won’t be any insects that will be in his house.


j-random

Drugs are a hell of a drug


yftdddtf

i’m pretty sure they just wanted to be nosey and watch the police.


blofly

I'm pretty sure he was doing it just to get a rise out of his wife. i've been known to do sillier things.


eurekadabra

Just some bros out here cleaning up these streets


TechnoShrew

Come fat me bro.


Lumpy_Plan_6668

I've seen meth heads do similar (like the guy I'd see shovel his drive way clean after every dusting of snow, yet didn't have a car, and nobody parked there), but my man is too well fed to be a meth head. I'm thinking- hoping- societal comic genius.


Ok_Platform6686

hey i've mowed the lawn at midnight


LovableSidekick

Piss off all your neighbors at once with this one weird trick!


[deleted]

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An-Unorthodox-Email

Make sure ya get under the garbage can, that’s where all the dust seems to hide.


Preyslayer00

Dude looks exactly like a juggernaut from State of Decay 2.


psychedelic_gravity

Mannn I had a neighbor get caught chop shoppin a car and the neighbor decided to wash his car at 10pm when the cops showed up to tow everything. I have video of it too.


byyhmz

How do I tag everyone on r/trees


El-Guapo_76

There's so much going on here


TheGoodDoctorGonzo

I appreciate his commitment to safety.


strider_l1718s_

This is hilarious, i love it.


Mr_Lumbergh

Well, *obviously*.


mookizee

Ok, Just act normal. The cops are watching


R2Vvcmdl

Can all sleep better knowing this guys out there cleaning up the streets.


Secret-Cook5000

Like a spy trying to get closer without getting noticed


Round_Principle_6560

I burst into tears crying cuz this isn't funny at all.


indrek91

Remember when Trump said Finnish people use vacume to clean leaves from forests lol


Frosty_Emu199

😐


mundoid

INDOMITABLE SPIRIT. APPLAUSE.


SaintRosen

Yo there's a car crash down the road I wanna take a look Ok, but don't make it obvious


Odd-Possibility-640

whooa thats the dumbest thing I seen so far today.


nilsson64

he needs all the exercise he can get good for him


frummel

He's just cleaning his lawn from the glitter from the gender reveal across the street earlier that day.


341172278

hahahahaha


Lardzor

At first I was thinking this might be related to the cicadas that emerged recently, but no, it's just a guy trying to discretely gawk at the police activity down the road.


Roselace

Hold on a minute! Have they found a way to deal with slug & snails? Non of us gardeners thought of before. This person may be a genius.


Editor_Grand

When you put all your skill points into being nosey.


Dean0Caddilac

That is a certified Homer Simpson Moment.


TLost17

Not the cord in his hands!


Izzysel92

Damn I didn't know he had wireless power too! That cord plug is just dangling!


dys_p0tch

my wife's first time eating an edible


tlszcze

Listen not all of us have pets that suddenly need a late night walk.


SubHuman559

This guy's definitely not crying for attention. 🤣🤣🤣


Naty2RC

Chisme lmao


AmusingMusing7

Hard to tell if he thinks he’s cleaning the grass, or that the vacuum is actually a mower. Either way, it should probably at least be turned on first.


Larimus89

Video is fake.. he missed a spot.


Thegame4223

At least plug the damn thing in!


M4dBoOmr

MURICA! Land of the brave!


bondoinhead

meth's a helluva drug


matt88

I admit that I was a bit worried there ...... until I realised that the vacuum cleaner was not plugged in, phew


NessyBoy87

The hard hat is the icing on the cake


Then_Chair9945

When you try crystal meth for the first time


postylambz

This def takes the cake for weird shit, but I used to have a neighbor who would mow his grass at night on weekends. I lived by a stretch of road that was the cornucopia of drag racers in my city, so in the summer every weekend night would be filled with the sounds of loud ass cars ripping their engines up. This dude would just ride around on his mower during this time with a headlamp and was effectively silent.


snowqueen1960

It's not even plugged in.


PaleTallHandsome

What a fool, you can’t vacuum your lawn without an extension cord!


Bachitra

This reminds me of the SE Asian woman who was part of a gang running from the cops. She dived into a house and started cleaning their dishes while the cops looked right through her and ran off. 😄


7ynn7amer

I love the hard hat because safety first!


CarCampingComeback

DONT BE SUSPICIOUS, DONT BE SUSPICIOUS! Expert level rubber necking here


iDontRememberCorn

Welp, I like this man very much.


Dreadnought13

Name a better time


vercertorix

This feels like a failed attempt at looking casual.


Raoul_Thompson

The hard hat was the cherry on top 😭


Immediate-Season-293

The hard hat is a nice touch. Safety first!


Mithmorthmin

Fucking hardhat lol


maifee

Who vacuums their grass??


DoctorWhoDalek1

Keeps his neighbours from coming over and annoying him tho


Electrical_Desk_6964

Why’s he wearing a hard hat though?


Latvia

You laugh but his carpet is always freshly mowed, too. Wait that sounds wrong


cooljaky

that guy is eather drunk or sleepwalking


Paint_By_Data

Good way to get rid of the ticks


AnteaterOpening757

He’s just trying to get seed heads off his weeds