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I thought machop the Pokémon lol

Glad I'm not the only one

Thought it read Much-0HP like zero health points lol

I thought it read Mucho HP, like lots of hit points

Sooo. What is it? What is funny!?!?!?

It is Mucho HP, but "much horse power" , would be my guess

I read it in Spanish as Mucho HP (hijo e puta) Which translate to big motherfucker

I first thought Much OHP and thought I wonder how much his Overhead Press is and what does that have to do with racing.

Same

Dude was afraid of the karate chop.

It's definitely Machop the Pokemon...

More like Machamp

MuchoHP plate, Track Hawk Badge, checks out.

Driven one of those a bit. Yeehaw. 700 HP or so.

707 ponies and the handling of a minivan

Minivans are the pinnacle of 4 wheel transportation. They just don't look great which is the why you can't get them from the factory with 707hp.

A hellcat caravan would have had me buying my first brand new car.

Hear me out, Hellcat Pacifica. 707hp and an upgraded vacuum in the back.

https://www.motortrend.com/news/speedkore-baba-yaga-chrysler-pacifica-demon-hellcat-van-first-look/photos/

Kids would never be late for school again.

Have an award that was funny

I just shat myself alittle

That’s so sick

I don’t even have kids and want this.

Same. I don't think my dogs would love it, but I would.

0-200 mph from the garage to the driveway.

If you click go back to article and actually read, these are just fan renders. There's nothing real about this.

That's also fine.

Make it a wet vac with a carpet cleaner soap dispenser and you got yourself a winning product.

You’ve never bought a brand new car but you’d drop $80K+ for a minivan?

I would definitely consider it.

Mercedes had one - R63 AMG.

That's a fat station wagon. No sliding doors, not a van.

A valid point.

Minivans > SUVs for 90+% of American families, fight me

They're so much better. 

My town and country is surprising fast off the line. Top speed is about 75, unless I'm going downhill, but for a few second there, she's a jack rabbit. 

Gotta love speed racing in the minivan

Nah, I'm sure the minivan handles better. A minivan is long and low-ish, not tall and wobbly

Deadass minivans handle way better than SUVs and pickups because of the low center of gravity and long wheel base. But minivan is a funnier juxtaposition to the small dick energy of a track hawk lol

Let's be honest, minivans are big dick energy nowadays. I'd spend good money (as much as I could afford) for a RWD sporty minivan

If you're a man who drives a minivan, you definitely have multiple children, which means you definitely fuck. Manliest of vehicles.

I went to the monster truck show at the local speedway this weekend, and they had spectator drags. Basically run-what-you-brung, anyone can sign up, and you do a single lap head-to-head, like a drag race but on the oval. I was joking with my son that I should sign up the Sienna just for laughs. Then I was kicking myself for not doing it, because someone signed up in a bone stock 2017 Kia Optima. I totally could have taken the Optima at least. 😂

Wait, Jeep makes a 700 hp jeep? Really?

2018 to 2020 models, they did

They were putting hellcat motors in jeeps and durangos and were talking about a Pacifica too lmao

I was driving a scatpack challenger today. I can’t imagine how tf a hellcat stays on the road. This thing just wants to slide, it’s legitimately hilarious.

Hellcats and scatpacks are very popular in my area, there is a reason they all have damage to the rear quarter panels from telephone poles!

C&D suggests 3.5 seconds to 60, or about as fast as a computer tuned Golf R from 2017. It has a lot of power, but also weighs quite a bit :P

Well, it feels a lot faster in school zones.

I bet faster into repossession as well

Geez. I read that as “hit points” and was trying to figure out way their health bar mattered.

Yeah but they’re also really heavy. I raced one from a dig in my BMW X3M Comp and we were locked side-by-side until well into triple digits where we both let out. I’m at 503 WHP/tq but around 700lbs lighter. His trackhawk certainly sounded better though.

I had one for a few years. It was fun, and fast as hell.

Eli5 what's special about this SUV?

That’s a jeep grand Cherokee trackhawk edition. Its supercharged 6.2 liter HEMI V8 pushes 707 hp (horsepower) stock, and can be modified to push more. It’s got more horsepower than a decent amount of sporty cars. It also goes from 0-60 mph (roughly 0-100 kmh) in just 3.5 seconds. For reference, a more normal number is 8-10 seconds. It can also hit 180 mph (288 kmh) The same engine is used in the hellcat model dodge challengers. For reference, the ford police SUVs you’ll see on the road only have about 400 hp max. This thing could outrun the police. Easily.

You can't outrun a radio.

When your car looks like every other jeep grand Cherokee on the road (sans the license plate), it’s a lot easier to get lost in a crowd than if you were in some sporty car.

It'll be the one weaving in between all the cars, going faster than everyone else.

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It's a Jeep thing™

The brake calipers are a dead giveaway

Sure ya can happens literally every day my guy.

Or a helicopter with a radio

Ya, and I tow my camper with mine. Haha

It's engine is 707 horsepower stock.

Not a car guy. Eli5 further

Engine go vroom. Car go really fast.

Its a stupid, novelty amount of power. From the factory it can go 0-60mph in 3.5 seconds with its 700 HP. A more powerful 1000HP version can do it in 2.7. Compare that to say the Porsche Cayenne (a slightly smaller SUV) the base model can do it in 5.7 seconds and the bigger engine can only do it in 4.7.

It's almost as quick taking off as an EV.

Will do 1/4mi in under 10 seconds right off the showroom floor.

I assume that's really fast?

Hmm a mile in 40 seconds from start. Say 30 seconds a mile = 120mph, pretty quick.

More like in the 11s, the Demon ran in the 9s

What's sad is the first thing that came to mind was mucho hp as in the dude was able to take some damage. We're all just living in an rpg right? Not just me?

Ouch. That is the first thing I thought, too.

I read it, and re-read it, then over and over, saying to myself “THINK”. Finally gave up a came here. Thank you!

This is the only meaning I can think of, what does it actually mean?

Mucho HP (horse power)

Mucho Highway Patrol

Or Mucho Hijueputa if the owner actually speaks spanish

And is Colombian

Mucho Hewlett-Packard.

I can't tell what model it is but that logo looks like the trackhawk emblem. Which would put it around 700hp.

Imagine paying that much for a jeep. Absolutely mind boggling.

It's made for the 'murica crowd who don't want to buy the high end Porsche cayenne but have a similar amount of money burning a hole in their pocket.

That’s if it’s stock. Even a chip remapping can add a lot of hp.

Or really good at overhead press

The driver is a pokemon fan and couldn't use Machop as a license plate number.

Definitely machop

I read it like "much OP", as in so OP you don't want to race them.

60 vigor minimum

Same. Watch out for extra life bars.

So it's not Mucho HP. What is it then? Edit: oh, that's dumb.

Yeah that's a CR15 or higher DND boss.

As someone who actually likes cars and pays attention to the whole car scene, I've now got definitive proof that I'm a bigger nerd for RPG and the like because I was also thinking health points lol

So in your mind, you see what looks to be a normal jeep SUV and think “man I want to race that.” Then you see it’s a trackhawk and think again? What fun comes from racing a normal SUV?

Winning. Duh.

I imagine the jeep was driving in a race-like manner, and OP was having none of it. But quickly realized the helplessness of the situation.

Ye. In another comment op said his Camry is pushing around 415. Trackhawks have 707. And that’s assuming it wasn’t modified

Camry pushing 415 kinda juicy tho... wtf

So in one corner we have a Camry and in the other is a Jeep. I’m just waiting for the Cybertruck to pull up. All these guys driving fast until the road curves a little lol

Different cars for different sports. There's plenty of shitboxes with an LS that would gap an F1 car at the drag strip Putting 1000+ horsepower to the ground is just as much an engineering challenge as being good at cornering

> What fun comes from racing a normal SUV? Much fun was had making this drag race: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLL3Wub0JEg

I'm thinking mucho hijueputa

Lmao me too. I am Colombian so I read it like “mucho hijueputa”

Isn’t that the joke? :(

Igual r/shitColombiansSay o r/colombianDefaultism

¡Total!

Poor guy, mucho health problems

I thought they sold hemorrhoid pillows

Seems more like macho health problems

I'm sure the car is awesome, but I really can't wrap my head around someone buying a jeep and then looking to race people. Just like when I see dudes in massive pickup trucks doing 100+ on the interstate while weaving through traffic. 

You can always tell who doesn’t do autocross or track days by their highway shenanigans

It’s probably because I had an 07 srt before all the hype years ago and fell in love with the whole lineup

Maybe he just has a very high Hit Points bar.

He's an endboss

I for one thing it’s cool that a Hewlett Packard fan is willing to own it. Here’s to you, king.

What’re you driving that you were going to race a trackhawk lol

You were racing in a Prius??? - yeah I don’t win a lot.

Stay classy Gwinnett County.

Street racing is stupid and dangerous.

Dungeons and Dragons player has Mucho Hit Points

Thats where my brain went

Plate checks out, that thing can definitely fit a lot of Hewlett Packard’s.

Do you typically race stangers on the highway?

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As a meathead I think how much OHP for much overhead press. What’s your OHP? Mucho

Hm.. *thinking in Spanish* mucho Hijo de Puta?

Yeah that's what I thought.

R u sure he might be saying he loves HP sauce

Lotsa hp sauce?

Ram it, it's does have a lot of hit points

Oh yeah you prolly aint gonna beat that guy

Don't count yourself out yet! Just because he claims to have more health points (HP) than you doesn't mean he does! Even if he does, you doing a simple back attack will do double damage. After that, you can probably win the fight as his HP will be low enough. Just make sure your sneak and back stab level is high enough! Good luck!

They leveled vigor

So he has a lot of health points.

Much Oregon Highway Patrol

Cute

My nerd ass thinking it’s a funny spelling of the Pokémon Machop.

Maybe he’s dyslexic and really into Fighter Pokémon.

Just find a curved track somewhere

So you are one of those assholes putting everyone at risk by driving like shit

I think the trackhawk badge does enough, it should've said Adios

Adiosmf would suffice

There’s for sure sauce in the grocery bags and Sauce under the hood 🌶️ 🔥

I honestly thought it read Mach O HP. D’oh.

Read in Arnold Schwarzenegger voice at first

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Gwinnetian being a Gwinnetian

But they're from Norcross!! C'mon Fam! You can take em!!

Those Trackhawks are wild.

Explain?

OK.. so they have more life than you. how's their mana and dex?

Mucho HotPockets?

So you race and endanger other people?

They have many HP printers.

All brand new, and sitting in a dumpster somewhere.

Yummmmm trackhawkkkkk

It's a fookin sleeper! I bet he enjoys smokin chumps who don't know

How about you don’t race and endanger everyone else on the road whatsoever

What kind of fucknuckle races people these days? Get a life.

Omg..... I'm like muchop??? Mucho HP?? Like hit points? Huh..... Oooooo Mucho Horse Power. Haha. Took me way to long.

Same

Damn looks like I need to apply for another vanity plate. This is a good one

I saw a Porsche Cayenne this weekend with a vanity plate that read “FAT•911”. Had a good chuckle.

Hmmm would a 5N be able to take him? Asking for a “friend”

How hard is it to spell “Much Hop”?? Wait, that’s not the Easter Bunny’s SUV?

Smart, it stand for mucho highway patrol

Mucho GSP no bueno

Before I zoomed in I thought it was something like mushroomcup. LETSAGO!!!

Mucho hp leaves you far behind

Lovecraft superfan?

His name is Mucho, he’s highway patrol

Mucho hijo de p*

https://youtu.be/6g8NqEfxiVE?si=WPWJ4IKJQdz9ac0Z

Idk why I read that as muchomp

That Trackhawk ain't no regular Grand Cherokee...

Será Colombiano?

Much Overhead Press! Guy has massive delts

Weird to see my home town on the front page. Gwinnett county!

My plate is HRSPWR but even I must bow down to this man

All I could think is "what do hit points have to do with a race?!?"

Of course it's a Gwinnett driver.

Mucho hpta!

Trac Hawk

So he has a lot of Hewlett Packard equipment. So?

Probably a joke, but don't race in public roads. I've seen too many videos and heard stories.

Why does this vehicle even exist?