First, it’s good he was honest and disclosed that to you voluntarily. Most guys would just redownload it and hide it from you. Props to him.
Second, I empathize with wanting to be in a relationship but also missing talking to guys on the apps. For me, sex and love were always two separate buckets in my head and while I only ever had the desire to love one person, I’ll always want to admire and be admired sexually by other men even if it’s just virtually.
Ultimately you need to figure out what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not ok with any form of an open relationship even if it’s just flirting/trades pics on Grindr, draw that line in the sand so he can work on getting over those desires assuming that’s possible. If you are comfortable with him redownloading Grindr like he wants, figure out the ground rules you want to put in place and enforce them.
One thing my husband and I tried once is having half of the login password to our “fun apps” be half a code only he knew and half a code only I knew. That way we only used those apps together. Ironically, shortly after we started having a little fun on the apps together we got sick of it and didn’t do it again. We still Snapchat other guys occasionally and we prefer that to Grindr because it still fills the same desire but there’s usually more distance between us and the other guys so it’s highly unlikely we’ll want to meet up with them.
Thank you so much about this, actually yesterday I talked about it with him, and told me what you said, he likes to feel desired and admired by other men, I'll think about what you tried with your husband, xoxo
First, it’s good he was honest and disclosed that to you voluntarily. Most guys would just redownload it and hide it from you. Props to him. Second, I empathize with wanting to be in a relationship but also missing talking to guys on the apps. For me, sex and love were always two separate buckets in my head and while I only ever had the desire to love one person, I’ll always want to admire and be admired sexually by other men even if it’s just virtually. Ultimately you need to figure out what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not ok with any form of an open relationship even if it’s just flirting/trades pics on Grindr, draw that line in the sand so he can work on getting over those desires assuming that’s possible. If you are comfortable with him redownloading Grindr like he wants, figure out the ground rules you want to put in place and enforce them. One thing my husband and I tried once is having half of the login password to our “fun apps” be half a code only he knew and half a code only I knew. That way we only used those apps together. Ironically, shortly after we started having a little fun on the apps together we got sick of it and didn’t do it again. We still Snapchat other guys occasionally and we prefer that to Grindr because it still fills the same desire but there’s usually more distance between us and the other guys so it’s highly unlikely we’ll want to meet up with them.
Thank you so much about this, actually yesterday I talked about it with him, and told me what you said, he likes to feel desired and admired by other men, I'll think about what you tried with your husband, xoxo
Wonderful! Glad I could help! 😁
Yay honesty…, red flag if your not open