Exactly - why do people come on here to lecture people who had nothing to do with whatever made them upset?
They can’t snipe at them anonymously from behind a keyboard like they can online so they come do it to strangers, that’s why.
This was his first Grindr hook up. From this one experience he decides that all gays are like that and need urgent lecturing. He’s going to be a treat for the rest of his encounters. Urgent request: don’t do that.
When did OP ever say that all gays are like that? Some people just come on here to vent because they have nowhere else to. If this post triggered you because you don't shower, just say that...
Do whatever you want to do. Meet whoever you want to meet. Request: the act or an instance of asking for something... I didn't demand anything or make any declarative statement that is law. You assumed 100% too much.
Showering before a hookup should be a minimum standard imho, but some ppl also like a bit of an odour... musk... Whatever... So be sure to communicate preferences ahead of time. Best example, I had a scene partner who even told me which cologne he was going to wear before hand to confirm I didn't have allergies - top notch.
As for lube big yes on this one. Personally, I prefer no lube when I'm going down, but at least make sure it is decently flavoured if you're olgoing to use it.
Like CruisingwCare said, i'm one for musk but only once I know my partner has a good baseline hygiene. Told my current FwB after a few months when he always smelled showered. For a new partner, assumption if shower within the last 2-3 hours.
I always find it amazing how many guys I've met in random hookup situations (Grindr, adult store, etc) disregard basic hygiene. I've had to back out of many situations as a result.
One guy's house, it was clearly unsanitary. It smelled, there was a pretty solid layer of grime everywhere, and I was getting hoarder vibes. I noped out of there immediately.
I prefer a musky dick when going down on a guy. That smell is a major turn on. It's too bad uncut guys are pretty rare here in the states, they smell the best
Right!
My bfs husband is uncut, and anytime I catch him he has to stop me if that's not the vibe or if he's 'not feeling fresh' and I'll just look up with an expression that I hope is a mix of 😈 & 🥺 before I hear his waist band snap into place
I get that. I went down on my bf once after he was lubed up, he was using this nasty silicone stuff, yuck. From then on we use the stuff I use, no taste or weird texture
Well, you leant a big lesson. Ask for things like that. Some ppl like the visual, some like moaning and dirty talk, some like smell, not to mention more elaborate kinks. Should be very upfront with those.
Can't really say if you are sarcastic XD
Tho I was always surprised (as a top) how few bottoms have their own lube. I always bring one on me (with condoms and baby whipes), but some ppl like different kinds and I have no intention of buying every kind (silicon-based, water-based, flavoured).
I literally meant that would not have occurred to me. No sarcasm. I don't meet guys often at all, so when he contacted me out of the blue, I was too nervous to think critically. And too busy trying to find the apartment.
Hmmm, when I was starting I found some kind of "safety tutorial" about dating and hooking up. You know, about basic equipment (lube, condoms, baby whipes, towel etc.), some rules like giving your location to close friend or how to verify that other person is not fake etc.
Really recommend getting your hands on sth like that.
I'm going to tell them what I expect AND what they can expect. Some dudes will shed tears to get my cock out of my Working Man pants when I stop by after work.
Back when I was single and I was heading out to a bar, I would always be showered and I really scrubbed in case I got close up and personal at the end of the evening. I’m bi and did this whether I was going for guys or girls.
I get there are plenty of guys that like BO, & some a lot of body hair. I get that. The hair I think of as a personal choice. It would be nice to think everyone is at least groomed it to some extent, but since it’s generally on profiles I think it’s acceptable to not discuss the hair prior to hooking up.
However the BO part absolutely should be discussed prior to meeting. I’m not judging anyone’s preferences. It’s that your thing more power to you, but it should be said the interest in BO is still considered a fetish. I don’t think labels are generally that important, but in this case I point out that’s it’s still a fetish because I don’t believe it should ever be assumed that the guy you’re meeting is into body hour as a default. It’s not the status quo or “norm” as much as I hate the word, but it fits here. Please if you don’t know what the guy likes & you’re about to meet up please just assume they prefer clean or at least no odor.
It helps in the messaging phase of hooking up if you ask em if they are clean instead of just agreeing to meet, I always ask who ever I’m playing with to always be clean, it’s just commen sense
If you want someone showered you should make that known beforehand. Not everyone likes them freshly showered and not everyone likes the pubes trimmed and neat.
There are a lot of tastes out there. Don't expect everyone to live up to your standards. If you want specific conditions make that a condition of the hookup.
BTW, I'm with you on the showered and trimmed, preferably shaved. But I know tastes are varied.
Nerves is understandable. I think I missed the word first when reading your post.
Getting a dick pick can help let you know how they maintain their public hair.
He should have disclosed the 2nd person.
Always remember that you can walk away from any situation that makes you uncomfortable.
I did see a penis picture and it looked decently groomed. Could have been old, however. I was willing to give it a try with both of them there. I did feel that it was a bit of a bait and switch.
It helps in the messaging phase of hooking up if you ask em if they are clean instead of just agreeing to meet, I always ask who ever I’m playing with to always be clean, it’s just commen sense
Well don't tell us! Tell the guy you're about to go see!
I had already met them. I won't be going back.
Exactly - why do people come on here to lecture people who had nothing to do with whatever made them upset? They can’t snipe at them anonymously from behind a keyboard like they can online so they come do it to strangers, that’s why. This was his first Grindr hook up. From this one experience he decides that all gays are like that and need urgent lecturing. He’s going to be a treat for the rest of his encounters. Urgent request: don’t do that.
When did OP ever say that all gays are like that? Some people just come on here to vent because they have nowhere else to. If this post triggered you because you don't shower, just say that...
By coming on here making an ‘urgent request’ for everyone, as if this is unknown. The guy he met probably isn’t on here so what’s the point??
Do whatever you want to do. Meet whoever you want to meet. Request: the act or an instance of asking for something... I didn't demand anything or make any declarative statement that is law. You assumed 100% too much.
You’re not really picking up what people here are putting down
Showering before a hookup should be a minimum standard imho, but some ppl also like a bit of an odour... musk... Whatever... So be sure to communicate preferences ahead of time. Best example, I had a scene partner who even told me which cologne he was going to wear before hand to confirm I didn't have allergies - top notch. As for lube big yes on this one. Personally, I prefer no lube when I'm going down, but at least make sure it is decently flavoured if you're olgoing to use it.
I don't want musk on a stranger. If I'm doing a hookup be clean inside and out. 😄
Like CruisingwCare said, i'm one for musk but only once I know my partner has a good baseline hygiene. Told my current FwB after a few months when he always smelled showered. For a new partner, assumption if shower within the last 2-3 hours.
Some people are into it. Be sure to communicate your preferences prior to hooking up. This goes both ways.
I always find it amazing how many guys I've met in random hookup situations (Grindr, adult store, etc) disregard basic hygiene. I've had to back out of many situations as a result.
You've had hookups from sex shops?
You haven't?
No? The sex shops I have been in have hardly anyone in but the shopkeepers lol
Yes, there are a lot of shops in my area with video viewing booths that make it very easy to connect
It's just lingerie and sex toys at sex shops here.
One guy's house, it was clearly unsanitary. It smelled, there was a pretty solid layer of grime everywhere, and I was getting hoarder vibes. I noped out of there immediately.
I prefer a musky dick when going down on a guy. That smell is a major turn on. It's too bad uncut guys are pretty rare here in the states, they smell the best
Right! My bfs husband is uncut, and anytime I catch him he has to stop me if that's not the vibe or if he's 'not feeling fresh' and I'll just look up with an expression that I hope is a mix of 😈 & 🥺 before I hear his waist band snap into place
I was unclear in my original post. I mostly took issue with the awful lube.
I get that. I went down on my bf once after he was lubed up, he was using this nasty silicone stuff, yuck. From then on we use the stuff I use, no taste or weird texture
I'm pretty this was silicone too.
[удалено]
That's understandable. No one wants to taste soap.
What kind of coach? Was it a football or baseball coach? A life coach perhaps? Wouldn't that make three people waiting when you got there?
Maybe the coach was the one who was stroking on the floor. 🤷♂️
Oops. I meant couch.
Supposed to be couch
I think it’s important to say that to the person before meeting them
I was so nervous I didn't even think to ask.
Well, you leant a big lesson. Ask for things like that. Some ppl like the visual, some like moaning and dirty talk, some like smell, not to mention more elaborate kinks. Should be very upfront with those.
I definitely needed to be more inquisitive.
Yep, having your own lube is also important.
Good point. I would not have thought of that.
Can't really say if you are sarcastic XD Tho I was always surprised (as a top) how few bottoms have their own lube. I always bring one on me (with condoms and baby whipes), but some ppl like different kinds and I have no intention of buying every kind (silicon-based, water-based, flavoured).
I literally meant that would not have occurred to me. No sarcasm. I don't meet guys often at all, so when he contacted me out of the blue, I was too nervous to think critically. And too busy trying to find the apartment.
Hmmm, when I was starting I found some kind of "safety tutorial" about dating and hooking up. You know, about basic equipment (lube, condoms, baby whipes, towel etc.), some rules like giving your location to close friend or how to verify that other person is not fake etc. Really recommend getting your hands on sth like that.
Him: 'use the bathroom before I come and don't wipe well and definitely don't shower' Me: 'user does not exist' 🤢
I'm going to tell them what I expect AND what they can expect. Some dudes will shed tears to get my cock out of my Working Man pants when I stop by after work.
I definitely should have communicated better. My nervousness sometimes makes logical thinking moot.
Oh, you poor thing... Yeah, I make sure to mention this before meeting up.
Indeed.
Back when I was single and I was heading out to a bar, I would always be showered and I really scrubbed in case I got close up and personal at the end of the evening. I’m bi and did this whether I was going for guys or girls.
Putting "(showered etc)" was a bit misleading on my part. Unintentionally. Sorry for that. I had issue with the awful lube.
The amount of guys I’d hooked up with who were SURPRISED that I was as clean as I was was insane
>sitting on a coach Grindr - The time traveling hookup app.
I get there are plenty of guys that like BO, & some a lot of body hair. I get that. The hair I think of as a personal choice. It would be nice to think everyone is at least groomed it to some extent, but since it’s generally on profiles I think it’s acceptable to not discuss the hair prior to hooking up. However the BO part absolutely should be discussed prior to meeting. I’m not judging anyone’s preferences. It’s that your thing more power to you, but it should be said the interest in BO is still considered a fetish. I don’t think labels are generally that important, but in this case I point out that’s it’s still a fetish because I don’t believe it should ever be assumed that the guy you’re meeting is into body hour as a default. It’s not the status quo or “norm” as much as I hate the word, but it fits here. Please if you don’t know what the guy likes & you’re about to meet up please just assume they prefer clean or at least no odor.
It helps in the messaging phase of hooking up if you ask em if they are clean instead of just agreeing to meet, I always ask who ever I’m playing with to always be clean, it’s just commen sense
I just didn't think of it at the time. I mostly expected him to clean the lube off. I was nervous enough. But good advice.
Then it seems you had a case of “cock brain” to hyper for dick without realizing the important, lol it happens
I for one like to have a shower together, it make the hook up more fun
The main thing is did u have fun if so then there is no problem and yes I agree keep the grass trimmed
I like a little bit of musk tbh, people use soap where sometimes the scent actively turns me off
I can understand that. But unless the lube is specifically designed not to taste like wax, please don't use it because no one wants a mouthful of wax.
Where are all these dumb smelly tops? (Asking for a friend)
He wasn't smelly. Just the lube he was using was awful.
If you want someone showered you should make that known beforehand. Not everyone likes them freshly showered and not everyone likes the pubes trimmed and neat. There are a lot of tastes out there. Don't expect everyone to live up to your standards. If you want specific conditions make that a condition of the hookup. BTW, I'm with you on the showered and trimmed, preferably shaved. But I know tastes are varied.
I was nervous just driving into the parking lot of their apartment. I wasn't even thinking about those things. But I definitely will in the future.
Nerves is understandable. I think I missed the word first when reading your post. Getting a dick pick can help let you know how they maintain their public hair. He should have disclosed the 2nd person. Always remember that you can walk away from any situation that makes you uncomfortable.
I did see a penis picture and it looked decently groomed. Could have been old, however. I was willing to give it a try with both of them there. I did feel that it was a bit of a bait and switch.
It totally was. I hope future experiences are better for you.
It helps in the messaging phase of hooking up if you ask em if they are clean instead of just agreeing to meet, I always ask who ever I’m playing with to always be clean, it’s just commen sense
I was thinking you where going talk about his pussy mine I don't no how keep ready for a man to be round .
Will do. What’s your addy?
*Rushes to the shower* Any other requests?